I’m going out on a limb here, sharing something quite personal: a letter I wrote to Master. Ordinarily, it’s best to keep such communications private, between oneself and one’s guru. Yet I wanted to offer you an example of something you could—and perhaps should—do for yourself.

Take some time at the end of the year for a spiritual review. Reflect on what stood out, what challenged you, and what uplifted or transformed you. Then share these reflections with God or with your guru. Such a review can become the beginning of an ongoing inner dialogue—one that may continue, quietly and faithfully, for the rest of your life.

So, with a little trepidation, here is what I wrote:

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Dear Master,

As the end of the year approaches, along with my birthday, I would like to sit with you for a few moments and share some reflections on things that have been especially meaningful to me in 2025. This year has stood apart from all others—both for its intensity and for my heightened awareness of your presence. Perhaps the two go hand in hand.

In many ways, Jyotish and I both feel that we have worked harder this year than at any other time in our lives. The first part of the year was an all-out effort to complete the books we have been writing—Jyotish’s The Heart of Service, and mine, Divine Awakening: The Mission of Paramhansa Yogananda and His Disciple, Swami Kriyananda. Our goal was to finish the first drafts before leaving for Ananda Assisi in late July, so that the editor, Prakash, could begin his work.

For me, working on this book required the most concentrated effort I’ve ever made. Yet throughout that time, I felt you and Swami constantly guiding my thoughts. I would search for a quote, and my eyes would be drawn to a particular book; opening it at random, there the quote would be. When my thoughts felt unclear, or I wasn’t sure how to proceed, I would pause—and clarity would come. It was a deeply uplifting period, and often I felt your presence guiding me from within.

When we arrived in Italy in late July, we had to shift abruptly from a highly interiorized, focused rhythm to a full schedule of classes, gatherings, and joyful time with friends from around the world. It felt a little like waking up in a different incarnation, as if you were giving us several lives all packed into a few months.

In early September, we participated in a weekend Kriyaban retreat and a pilgrimage in Spain. It was both fun and inspiring to travel with a group of eighty people from twenty different countries. Yet the greatest gifts were the deep and unexpected blessings we received while visiting holy places associated with St. Teresa of Ávila, St. John of the Cross, and King Ferdinand III and his son Alfonso—who were you and Swami. We felt uplifted in ways we had not anticipated, and also sensed a deep connection with past lives of seeking God—lives that have led us, at last, to your feet.

Then, in late September, came India. For us, it is always indescribable to serve you in the land of your birth. We have so many deep friendships there, and can see how your teachings are spreading throughout the country. You filled our days with the joy and blessings of seeing hundreds of new devotees serving your work, and thousands more are being trained on your path.

By the time we returned home in mid-October, we were both ready for a rest. Yet somehow, even amid jet lag and fatigue, we decided to lengthen our meditations each morning and evening in order to spend more time with you. Gradually, something began to change. There were moments when the restless mind withdrew, and the calm inner Self made itself known. I felt peace, joy, and a quiet certainty that this is what I have been searching for all my life.

One beautiful fruit of these deeper meditations has been a new way of meeting challenges, whether with people or with situations. Suddenly, it felt natural not to criticize or reject anyone or anything. Instead of judging, I found myself praying and sending love to whatever seemed problematic. Due to your grace, I began seeing everything in a different light, and I felt inwardly free and joyful.

Like you and Swamiji, we’ve also been immersed in the final editing of our books. When I reread mine after not looking at it for four months, I saw that while the ideas were sound, the writing needed more magnetism and more beautiful imagery. With our deadline at the end of the year, I’ve been working steadily to bring that about.

And so, all that remains is gratitude. Thank you—for guiding our thoughts as we share your teachings with others; for opening inner doors in meditation; for changing our consciousness so that we feel your presence more and more throughout the day; and for revealing the long inner journey that has led us to be your disciples.

I have one final prayer to offer: Please let me feel your loving presence more deeply as the years of my life unfold, until all that remains is the thought of you. As you say in “Samadhi,” may “knowing, knower, and known” become one.

With humble love and gratitude, Devi

Listen to Devi as she first reads the blog, then expands on its meaning and messages for readers with behind-the-blog commentary. Subscribe to the podcast or download the audio recording by right-clicking here. Or listen to it here (10:02):

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