Amazon Prime Day Hacks and Budgeting Tips for Emotional Shoppers

Summary

NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast: Amazon Prime Day Hacks and Budgeting Tips for Emotional Shoppers – Detailed Summary

In the July 7, 2025 episode of NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast, hosts Sean Pyles, CFP®, and Elizabeth Ayoola delve into strategic approaches for navigating Amazon’s highly anticipated Prime Day. This episode not only offers insider insights directly from Amazon’s Vice President of Prime, Jamil Ghani, but also addresses listener concerns about managing emotional spending and budgeting effectively.

---

Amazon Prime Day Insights with Jamil Ghani

Exploring the Evolution of Prime Day

Kicking off the episode, Sean Pyles introduces the topic by highlighting the significance of deal hunting in American consumerism, especially during major shopping events like Prime Day. To provide a comprehensive understanding, they welcome Jamil Ghani, VP of Amazon Prime, to discuss the latest updates and strategies for maximizing Prime Day benefits.

Expanded Duration and Enhanced Deal Accessibility

Jamil Ghani begins by emphasizing the expansion of Prime Day to four days this year, a response to member feedback seeking more time to explore the vast array of deals. “It's four days long. And we're doing that because our members have told us the number one thing they want is more time,” Ghani explains [02:23]. This extension allows shoppers to peruse millions of deals across 35 categories without feeling rushed.

Dynamic Deal Drops and Personalized Shopping Tools

Ghani highlights the introduction of dynamic deal drops, where top deals are released every midnight and, at peak times, every five minutes. This strategy is designed to drive sharp savings on popular brands and maintain a high level of engagement throughout the event.

A notable innovation is the integration of AI-powered tools to enhance the shopping experience. “We’re making it easier for our members to shop those millions of deals with more AI-powered tools,” Ghani notes [03:20]. These tools enable users to input natural language queries like “I'm looking for accessories under $100” or “Remodel my living room in Mid-century modern,” receiving tailored deal recommendations that match their specific needs and preferences.

Diverse Deal Categories Beyond Electronics

Addressing the breadth of Prime Day deals, Ghani remarks, “It's become so much more than just your typical sort of electronics door buster type sale” [05:05]. Unlike traditional Big Sale events focused primarily on electronics, Prime Day now encompasses 35 categories, including household essentials, perishables through Whole Foods, apparel, furniture, beauty products, and more. This diversification ensures that shoppers can find meaningful deals across all aspects of their daily lives.

Strategic Shopping Tips from Amazon

To maximize savings, Ghani advises listeners to come prepared with a clear shopping plan. “The best way to save money is know what you need and you want and kind of go in with a plan” [04:23]. He also introduces the revamped young adult program, offering a 50% discount on memberships for individuals aged 18 to 24, with a limited-time Prime Day promotion increasing this discount from 5% to 10%.

Personal Insights and Future Planning

In a personal touch, Ghani shares his own Prime Day shopping list, which includes essential items for his family, back-to-school supplies, holiday gifts, and fun summer items like a slip and slide. “We are always in search of summer fun. So the girls have asked for a slip and slide because it's been really warm in lots of places, including Seattle, so that's on the list” [06:33]. This candid sharing underscores the practical and varied nature of Prime Day purchases.

---

Listener Money Questions: Managing Emotional Spending and Budgeting

Katherine’s Financial Struggles

Transitioning from Prime Day strategies, the podcast shifts focus to a listener segment featuring Katherine, who seeks advice on managing her budget and addressing emotional spending habits. Katherine shares her financial landscape, explaining, “My regular income is from my job. It's not a high-earning job, but I'm contributing to our household and covering rent” [10:40]. She highlights reliance on personal income and investments to cover living expenses during her husband's job search period.

Emotional Relationship with Money

Katherine delves into her personal struggles with money, expressing feelings of guilt and confusion whenever she makes discretionary purchases. “The stuff that makes me squirm is actually my personal relationship to money and just kind of how I approach it and what kind of emotions come up” [10:51]. She reveals a lack of a structured budgeting system, both personally and within her household, leading to a sense of financial overwhelm.

Hosts’ Advice on Overcoming Emotional Spending

Sean Pyles and Elizabeth Ayoola provide empathetic and practical advice to Katherine. Elizabeth suggests identifying personal money values and differentiating them from inherited or external influences. “One important thing that I did is separate and say which of these values are mine and which ones reflect who I am and my values as an adult versus ones that I got from other people” [17:02].

Sean introduces the concept of the hedonic treadmill, explaining, “So it's this idea that we are all, everyone on this planet on this treadmill of hedonism... it's never really going to last” [18:51]. This helps Katherine understand the fleeting satisfaction derived from impulsive purchases and the subsequent feelings of guilt.

Practical Budgeting Strategies

The hosts recommend several actionable steps for Katherine:

• Track Every Expense: For a month, meticulously document all income and expenditures, noting emotions associated with each purchase to identify patterns [22:45].
• Adopt a Budget Framework: Implementing systems like the 50/30/20 rule, where 50% of income covers essentials, 30% for discretionary spending, and 20% towards savings and debt repayment [20:52].
• Use Budgeting Tools and Apps: Leveraging digital tools that offer real-time tracking and reminders to stay accountable without feeling overwhelmed by large monthly reviews.

Elizabeth emphasizes the importance of finding alternative coping mechanisms to emotional spending, such as hobbies or physical activities that can replace the dopamine rush of shopping [20:52].

Building Financial Confidence

Katherine acknowledges the value of these strategies and expresses willingness to collaborate with her husband to create a more structured financial plan. Sean encourages her by highlighting her long-term thinking, particularly with plans to attend grad school, which inherently requires financial foresight [28:18].

---

Conclusion and Additional Resources

As the episode wraps up, Sean and Elizabeth remind listeners of the importance of understanding their financial behaviors and utilizing the available tools to foster a healthier relationship with money. They encourage ongoing engagement through NerdWallet’s budgeting app and other resources to support listeners in achieving their financial goals.

Additionally, the hosts announce a new segment, "Budget Rehab," inviting listeners to submit their budgets for personalized tips, further emphasizing NerdWallet’s commitment to providing actionable financial advice.

Key Takeaways:

• Prime Day Strategies: Extended duration, AI-powered personalized deals, and diversified categories offer more opportunities for savings.
• Emotional Spending Management: Understanding underlying emotions, tracking expenses, and adopting structured budgeting systems can alleviate guilt and promote financial well-being.
• Practical Tools: Utilize budgeting frameworks like 50/30/20 and leverage digital apps to maintain financial discipline without feeling restricted.

For those seeking to enhance their financial literacy and make informed money decisions, this episode of NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast provides valuable insights and practical advice tailored to both major shopping events and personal budgeting challenges.

Transcript

[Sean Pyles]

Today's episode is sponsored by Dell. Let's talk about the new Dell AI PC powered by the Intel Core Ultra processor. It's not just an AI computer, it's a computer built for AI. That means it's built to help do your busy work for you so you can fast forward through editing images, designing presentations, generating code, debugging code, categorizing your financial transactions, running lots of apps without lag, creating live translations and captions, summarizing meeting notes, extending battery life, enhancing security, finding that file you are looking for, organizing your receipts, managing your schedule, meeting your deadlines, drafting financial summaries, responding to Cody's long emails, leaving all the time in the world for more you time and the things that you actually want to do. No offense Cody. Get A new Dell AI PC starting at [e-mail] AI PC that's Dell.com AI PC how those ahead? Stay ahead. Deal hunting is a time honored tradition of American consumerism. On the eve of one of the biggest shopping events of the year, y Prime Day, do you know how to find the deals that are actually worth it? And how to rein yourself in from overspending? Welcome to NerdWallet's Smart Money podcast where you send us your money questions and we answer them with the help of our genius nerds. I'm Sean Pyles. This episode, my co host Elizabeth Ayola and I talk with a listener who's struggling to manage their budget and get their arms around their emotional spending. But first, listeners, an announcement. We're working on a new segment called Budget Rehab and we need your help to make it happen. If you want us nerds to look over your budget with a fine tooth comb and give you our thoughts and tips, head to the show description and click on the link to the Google form and submit your info. You can even submit your budget totally anonymously if you want. And speaking of budgets, another summer is upon us. And along with the barbecues, family vacations, and uncomfortable sweating, the annual event that is Amazon's Prime Day is knocking at our doors. So we've got the scoop on what's new about Prime Day this year and some tips so you can find the best deals amid the sea of discounts. Joining us to talk about this is someone who knows Prime Day from the inside out, Jamil Ghani, the VP of Amazon Prime. Jameel, welcome to Smart Money.

[Jamil Ghani]

Hi. Thank you for having me.

[Sean Pyles]

Sure thing. So let's start by talking about what is new with Prime Day this year. Beyond the fact that it's actually four days this year.

[Jamil Ghani]

Well, the number one thing is what you said. It's four days long. And we're doing that because our members have told us the number one thing they want is more time. More time to peruse literally millions of deals across 35 categories. We also are dropping top deals every midnight throughout the event to kind of drive really, really sharp savings on top brands that you love. In certain times of the event, we'll also have deals dropping every five minutes. Another thing I'm really excited about is we're making it easier for our members to shop those millions of deals with more AI powered tools. Hey, I'm into Fata. I'm looking for accessories or less than $100. Or I'm trying to remodel my living room Mid century modern. And it'll come back with deals that match that natural language query. So across the entire store there's going to be more deals. It's a longer event and then more ways that personalize it and make it easier for you to find exactly what's right for you.

[Sean Pyles]

So it might take a bit of upfront organizing to think through what I might need around the house and then what might be kind of fun to add on.

[Jamil Ghani]

I think that's how you get the most out of these events and they're meant to save you money. And so I think the best way to save money is know what you need and you want and kind of go in with a plan. And whether you set up the wish lists and things like showing up with that handwritten note or an Apple note or whatever is I think the best way to approach the event because we understand the event can be overwhelming for our younger members. Exciting news happening now is we've reinvented the young adult program. This is a 50% off membership for folks that are 18 to 24. And we're announcing with this reinvention a limited time offer of 5% off. And during Prime Day, that 5% goes to 10%.

[Sean Pyles]

I saw that Amazon also has these invite only deals. Can you describe how that works?

[Jamil Ghani]

Yeah. So you can imagine some items are hard to come by from an inventory standpoint, particularly when you're offering them. It's sort of screaming deals. And so this is a program that we launched a couple of years ago, which is you simply register your interest in a deal, whether it's on an electronics device or apparel or beauty. And then when those go live live, you get entered into a lottery to win a ticket to buy that item. Then you have A certain amount of time to claim that ticket and get that deal. It's not hundreds of thousands of items. It's a, you know, more curated selection, but it adds a little bit of additional fun.

[Sean Pyles]

I'm wondering also if there are certain categories that tend to be more heavily discounted during Prime Day. You know, I'm thinking about how we often see deals on TVs and other electronics during Black Friday. Is there an equivalent for Prime Day or is it just so broad that kind of everything is on sale?

[Jamil Ghani]

Yeah, it's a great question, Sean. Think historically it was more focused on sort of the typical big deal event that you see for a Black Friday or Cyber Monday. So electronics were really popular. But the reality is Prime Day has changed a lot over the last couple years, particularly during the pandemic when folks, you and me, we're all home, we needed kind of everything. And so we transformed Prime Day into sales and savings event across the entire store. So now today it's 35 categories, hundreds of thousands of deals in each of those categories. So you can shop from everyday essentials and non perishables and also perishables, if you shop whole foods and fresh. They also have deals going on all the way through apparel and furniture and beauty and all the way on to electronics. So that's why I think that list is really important because it can be overwhelming if you kind of go in sight unseen. But when, you know, like my family knows we've got another school year coming up, you know, it's also a kickoff to back to school, back to college. And so we know those are things we're going to need. And so that's always on our list. Some folks are saving up for that big TV purchase or Beats headphones or Yeti bottles or Dyson vacuum cleaners. And so all of that will be on sale too. So it's become so much more than just your typical sort of electronics door buster type sale.

[Sean Pyles]

Well, Jamil, I do have to ask you as a final question, what are you buying on Prime Day?

[Jamil Ghani]

Well, with young kids, it's a combination of diapers and wipes, which we know we will go through. Our one year old is still very much in that stage. We will be getting ready for back to school with a fourth grader and a kindergartner starting in school for the first time. And so backpacks and paper and art supplies. I do get a jump on holiday shopping, even with birthdays and then obviously the holidays coming up. So gifts for my family and friends and things like that. We are always in search of summer fun. So the girls have asked for a slip and slide because it's been really warm in lots of places, including Seattle, so that's on the list. Inevitably, I will admit I do find some things that I'm like, oh, you know, that's. That sounds like a really good deal. I do think I need a ping pong set or whatever it is.

[Sean Pyles]

You got to have some fun when you're shopping too.

[Jamil Ghani]

You have to remember. Also, we have savings on one medical. There are savings on prime video videos. You know that there you can go all the way to Amazon devices like it really is. All of the Amazon businesses come together in this one celebration of our members.

[Sean Pyles]

Well, Jamil Ghani, VP of Amazon prime, thank you so much for coming on Smart Money and sharing your tips with us.

[Jamil Ghani]

I really appreciate it. Thanks, Sean.

[Sean Pyles]

I also wanted to mention that we have some excellent articles on NerdWallet's website that can help you folks listening make the most of Prime Day and other online shopping events. But I will mention three quick tips for you. First, some of the best deals are on stuff that isn't super flashy. I'm talking about household items like garbage bags, teeth whitening strips, and hair care products. Second, compare prices beforehand to know how much of a deal you're actually getting. We recommend using tools like the browser extension CamelCamelCamel, which tracks prices on Amazon over time. And finally, you know, you should be doing it anyway. Set a budget and know how much you can comfortably spend. All right, we're about to get to this episode's Money Questions segment where Elizabeth and I help a listener unpack their spending habits. But first, listeners, you know the drill. Send us your money questions, leave us a voicemail or text us on the nerd hotline at 90173 6373. That's 901730, nerd. You can also email us at podcastnerdwallet.com and one last announcement. We are running another book Giveaway sweepstakes ahead of our next Nerdy Book Club episode. Our next guest is Dana Miranda, author of you Don't Need a Budget. Stop Worrying about Debt, Spend without Shame, and manage Money with Ease. To enter for a chance to win our book giveaway, send an email to podcasterdwallet.com with the subject Book Sweepstakes during the sweepstakes period. Entries must be received by 11:59pm Pacific Time on July 31st. Include the following your first and last name, email address, zip code, and phone number for more information, please visit our official Sweepstakes Rules page. Okay, let's get into this episode's Money Questions segment. That's up next. Stay with us.

[Jamil Ghani]

Rated T for Teen each year thousands of adults lose their shredded. It's an epidemic simply known as shred loss. But it doesn't have to be this way because rekindling your shred is as easy as playing the new Tony hawk's Pro Skater 3 and 4. With new parks, cross platform, multiplayer and sick new game modes, we can put an end to shred loss everywhere. Hit the new Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 and 4 and show the world that the shred's not dead. Pre order Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 and 4 and play the Foundry demo.

[Sean Pyles]

For the ones who get it done. The most important part is the one you need now and the best partner is the one who can deliver. That's why millions of maintenance and repair pros trust Grainger because we have professional grade supplies for every industry, even hard to find products. And we have same day pickup and next day delivery on most orders. But most importantly, we have an unwavering commitment to help keep you up and running. Call clickranger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done. We are back and answering your money questions to help you make smarter financial decisions. This episode we're talking with a listener, Katherine, who wants some help getting a grip on their spending and budgeting. Katherine, welcome to Smart Money.

[Katherine]

Hi. Thank you so much.

[Sean Pyles]

Great to have you on. So I'd like to start by hearing about your financial life at a high level. So right now thinking about your money, what makes you feel proud? What maybe makes you squirm a little bit?

[Katherine]

I'm not really a numbers person, so money is one of those kind of difficult topics anyway. But I do have a little bit of pride in the fact that my partner and I have been working with a financial planner for a few years, so we do have our big picture money plan under wraps. I mean, I think we feel we have like a pretty good sense of investing and a general sense of like six months out budgeting. The stuff that makes me squirm is actually my personal relationship to money and just kind of how I approach it and what kind of emotions come up and the questions that I have in terms of prioritizing and making decisions and the guilt that I feel when I buy something or how to decide where my money goes. And it feels kind of silly, but it also feels kind of like a really big question So I thought I'd reach out to you guys to see if there's a way we could talk about it.

[Sean Pyles]

Yeah, well, what you're describing, it might sound silly, but it's really common. A lot of people have feelings of guilt and shame around how they spend their money because they think they, quote, unquote, should be doing something different or better. And we can get into that.

[Elizabeth Ayola]

So what is the current budgeting system that you use for your money? Do you have a budgeting system or do you kind of just pay yourself and what's left over? That's what I do, by the way. You didn't ask, but I'm telling you. But anyway, tell me what you do.

[Katherine]

My personal budgeting system doesn't really exist.

[Elizabeth Ayola]

Interesting.

[Katherine]

Yeah.

[Sean Pyles]

All right, well, talk with us a little more about your income and expenses, because that's what your budget is made of. So what do you have coming in and going out on a regular basis? You had filled out a budgeting spreadsheet for us a bit before, so that's been helpful as a jumping off point. But how do you think about what you have as a regular expenses on a monthly or even weekly basis?

[Katherine]

So my regular income is from my job. It's not a high earning job, but I'm contributing to our household and covering rent, basically. My husband is looking for a job and his intention is to get a high earning job. He's been really, really working towards that. But he just finished his PhD last year. And so there's been this sort of expected long buffer period. And we have investments that we've been working with and living off of for this past year. And then we have an additional income source that comes in quarterly that kind of helps buffer a little bit of our spending. But we can't use that. We just have it as like an emergency fund. So what we're using for our living is my income and these investments.

[Sean Pyles]

So you're selling off investments to cover some ongoing expenses. Are you accounting for tax liability when you're selling those off, putting aside some money?

[Katherine]

Yeah.

[Sean Pyles]

That's good to hear. And when you've worked with your financial planner and they've looked at your income and expenses and financial goals, what have they said about how you're managing your money on a daily basis? Do they have any suggestions for you?

[Katherine]

We've spent time on the big picture and we just haven't really done work with them, particularly on the small picture. So, yeah, I feel like I've kind of been left to my own devices on that. A Little bit.

[Elizabeth Ayola]

I know you are partnered, and I know you said you don't have a budget, but does your husband work with a budget?

[Katherine]

I think so. He's very, very structured. Yeah. I don't know his budget, actually. That's an interesting question. I probably should know what he's working with.

[Elizabeth Ayola]

Well, if you're comfortable sharing, how do you guys approach managing your finances as a couple, or do you manage separately?

[Katherine]

We're very comfortable talking about everything. I get overwhelmed talking about money. And so he handles most of it. And so I don't feel like I really. I hate to say care, but, like, I don't really. I can't really, like, keep track of his spending or his budgeting or, like, what his numbers are. Does that make sense?

[Elizabeth Ayola]

Yes.

[Sean Pyles]

So talk with us about what exactly makes you uncomfortable when you're spending money or when you're thinking about engaging with it, and then how we can help you get through those feelings. With the caveat that, you know, I'm not a therapist.

[Katherine]

Yeah, of course. And I will just mention that I have talked to my therapist about this before, but I do feel like there's gotta be some. Some way to kind of approach this more surface without making it a huge emotional weight. Yeah, the guilt is pretty big. And the confusion. I think another question I wanted to bring to the table for you guys was when you have these opportunities for prioritizing, when you have your own cash flow, you know, like, let's just say there's. There's no emotion attached to it. How do you prioritize one spending over the other?

[Elizabeth Ayola]

I can empathize with feeling overwhelmed, first of all, but I think it's really important to tackle the discomfort that you're feeling before you dive sometimes into trying to manage your finances. The exercise that I did years ago to try. Try to understand better why I felt so uncomfortable with money is I did a lot of journaling around my money values. And as you said, it really sometimes is rooted in maybe how you saw your parents managing money and all these values that you picked up along the way, even just from watching TV shows or from anything, really, that you adopted. And one important thing that I did is separate and say which of these values are mine and which ones reflect who I am and my values as an adult versus ones that I got from other people. So that's something that helped me tremendously.

[Sean Pyles]

As you're thinking about your money and what to do with it, Katherine, the hard part is that you can never take the emotional aspect out of it. So just Understand that. But I really want to get deep into the specifics around your feelings. You've mentioned feeling guilt. So when do you feel guilt? What specific actions or moments are triggering this feeling in you?

[Katherine]

I think it's probably a big spend, something like over $50 in one purchase or something that felt kind of like, oh, I just want this, and I don't know why. And I didn't, you know, a quick buy or something. Maybe a purchase from a place that doesn't align with my values, like a big box store or something like that.

[Sean Pyles]

I'm wondering if some of the source of this guilt is the disconnect between purchasing what you are getting and maybe not knowing whether you totally have the funds to cover it. It seems like you do have enough money coming in, but because you aren't as familiar with the actual numbers as you could be, there is perhaps a bit of uncertainty around, okay, how is this going to fit into our bigger financial picture?

[Katherine]

That sounds very plausible. Yeah.

[Sean Pyles]

One thing I would encourage you to do when you feel guilty about a purchase is ask yourself initially what you were actually hoping the purchase would do for you. Because sometimes we buy things as a coping mechanism. And the hard part about spending as a coping mechanism is that it is super easy to do, especially in the era of online shopping. It actually is effective because it makes you feel good. But the hard part is that it's never really satisfying and you can feel worse afterward. Like you're describing, like feeling guilty. Are you familiar with the concept of the hedonic treadmill?

[Katherine]

No.

[Sean Pyles]

So it's this idea that we are all, everyone on this planet on this treadmill of hedonism, if you will. So you can make a purchase or acquire something and it feels really good. But then you are quickly back at that baseline feeling of happiness that you have. So even though you got that spike of dopamine, it's never really going to last. Are there certain times of day or certain feelings that are more common that maybe lead you into purchasing? Have you been aware of any of those patterns?

[Katherine]

Probably stress, which would make sense. I don't know if I have diligently monitored what might be leading into it. I do know the online thing happens late at night for sure.

[Sean Pyles]

Yeah. And that very common kind of.

[Katherine]

Yeah, I think that's like, I'm half asleep, you know, a package, your guard is down. What is this? Yeah, the stress thing is real. I think if I've had a long day and I could go to the gym or I could go to the shoe store, like yeah, I'm gonna probably go to the shoe store. And that feels sometimes bad instead of good, but also good.

[Elizabeth Ayola]

You know, I can absolutely relate. And I had an issue last year with emotional buying. I would buy when I was happy, when I was sad, when I was angry, every emotion I needed to buy something, whether it was food or something else. But what really helped me was finding another coping mechanism or even just an outlet for when I am feeling happy. Like, girl, you're happy, but you don't need to go buy something. I have adopted lots of hobbies now. So when I'm happy I can go paint or I can go and ride my bike. And I have this nice little Bluetooth speaker and I play my music really loud while I'm riding my pink bike. So I think it's just about looking for things that can help with that emotion versus going to spending. I have a part of my budget that is allocated to me, spending on things that I want.

[Sean Pyles]

And that's why budgeting. A lot of people can think of it as restrictive or like almost patronizing in a way, but in fact it can be a way to liberate your spending because you know that you have the intentionality and the purpose behind where you're allocating your dollars. At NerdWallet, we talk a lot about the 50 30, 20 budget for good reason. 50% goes of your income, goes to cover your obligations, things like housing, any sort of medical expenses you might have, credit card debt, etc, and then 30 goes towards your want category, that is the more discretionary purchases, things like eating out. 20% goes towards additional debt payments and savings. NerdWallet has a budgeting app where you can use this for free. Have you ever tried playing with a specific budget framework or an app? There are so many out there to play with.

[Katherine]

So what I have done before, which was probably as close as I've gotten to actually budgeting, was at the end of the month for about two years. Every month I would would just go through all of my finances and all of my expenses and I would just like write them down. And it just gave me a sense of like, okay, I know where that went. Like I caught a few misspends and everything, but it wasn't necessarily giving me rules. So I'm still. I'm sort of back to square one.

[Sean Pyles]

I think what's going to help you is to experiment a bit. One really helpful thing that I've done in the past is for a single month I tracked every single penny that came into or went out of My life. And I would track it in the moment and I would also add on, like, what exactly it was I purchased and how I felt about that purchase. The idea is really just to understand exactly what you're doing and when and how you feel about it, because then you can sort of see patterns over time, mitigate some of those feelings of guilt, and just create fewer opportunities for you to feel bad about how you're spending.

[Katherine]

Cool. I appreciate that.

[Elizabeth Ayola]

And also, Katherine, I want to know, do you have any fears or also uncomfortable feelings around learning more about money? So I know you said you are not very familiar and your husband does all of the things and you kind of just don't know. So do you feel overwhelmed in terms of even just digging into more information about budgeting systems or whatever other financial goals you have?

[Katherine]

I think that's a really astute question observation, because I feel like there have been times when I've been able to sit down and spend an afternoon like those. Those months where I was just like, actually on the 31st or the 1st, I would be like, okay, I just got to do my summary thing. And I felt empowered and I was like, oh, I could do this. Actually, it doesn't. It doesn't seem so scary, but stepping away from it, it just feels really huge and confusing and overwhelming and like there's so many layers and aspects and it feels terrifying, honestly.

[Elizabeth Ayola]

Yeah.

[Sean Pyles]

Part of that can come from the distance that you've created between yourself and your money. When I think if you downloaded some of your bank statements or you pull up your credit card app on your phone, you see where your money is going. Having that familiarity really vanquishes some of the fear behind. But there are some simple tactics that can help you do that too. Like maybe you want something that's more regular and smaller than that monthly review of your spending. Do you want a little prod from your reminders app on your phone every day? Is there a budgeting app that might have a push notification for you every day to say, hey, here's where your spending landed today? Just make it as easy as possible and try to distance your actions from senses of shame. Because you are just responding to your life one day at a time. You're trying to make the best that you can out of it. Um, but also, I think getting really clear on those high level goals that you have might help you focus your spending too. Because it's not just budgeting for the sake of budgeting, it's budgeting so that you can use your money in the way that's most productive for you long term. When you think about your money on a day to day basis, how often are you connecting it to that longer term plan that you and your partner have made with your financial planner? Never see you shaking your head here. Yeah, well, think about that because it's one of those things where every little action that you take makes it easier or harder to accomplish those goals.

[Elizabeth Ayola]

Sometimes people think that your relationship with money is this rigid straight line and you always have to be doing the right thing, even when you know all the things to do. But just as with any relationship, it ebbs and flows. Right? So I think remembering that can help with the shame. That's something to keep in mind as well.

[Katherine]

I don't really think in terms of goals or long term picture very well. I'm kind of like more of an immediacy experiencer person. And so what you were saying, Sean, makes a lot of sense, but I don't really relate to it in terms of planning for the future. It's like when there's something shiny and beautiful in front of me that feels like the most important thing in the world to me at that moment. And so I guess I'm just curious if you have any thoughts or opinions or ways of handling that kind of critical moment where I'm standing there and I'm like overwhelmed with this sort of guilt and desire and vacuum that's like potentially could be filled with a lot of things.

[Sean Pyles]

Yeah, the excitement of almost buying something is so great. I think we all know that thrill. Something that walks me back from the edge is this mantra I've heard around the personal finance space, which is just that I have enough and I do try to redirect yourself. And it takes this sort of meta thinking as you are in the store or online to pull yourself back and consider, why am I feeling this emotion? How have I trained myself to get so hooked on this dopamine rush of buying something? And how can I redirect that energy? It is challenging and it's a muscle that you have to build over time. And you can also create more like physical tactile buffers like deleting all of your payment info from your apps, on your phone and on your web browser. Maybe just carrying cash with you make it less easy for you to buy things when you have that sudden impulse and it feels so good just to do it because then you know, on the other side of that purchase are those feelings that are not so great.

[Elizabeth Ayola]

Apple Wallet, Count your days. I have deleted all my cards From Apple Wallet, actually. And it does work.

[Katherine]

Thank you. Those are great. I think it was really helpful to get into that nice space of getting down to that really critical moment of the dopamine rush. And on the other side of that, I'm trying to go to grad school in the fall. I haven't been to school in about 20 years and I'm expecting it to be a pretty different experience than what I've been doing for the last 20 years. And so I'm anticipating that I'm going to have kind of a lot of adjusting to do. Do you guys have any suggestions or thoughts about ways to budget or handle money when you're under a lot of stress? Just long term, big picture.

[Sean Pyles]

I think you should give yourself a little bit more credit as being a long term thinker because going to grad school, planning to go to grad school, thinking about what your career might be after grad school, that's all long term thinking. So even if you don't recognize that in yourself, you're doing it. So appreciate that. And ahead of going to grad school, you can use these summer months to try out a few different systems that work well for you. One that I rely on a lot is called paying yourself first. Where when I have my paycheck come in, I have my direct deposit set up to go to a handful of different savings and checking accounts that I know I'm putting money in my emergency fund, I know I have it in my checking account to cover my mortgage and any other needs expenses. But I'm not, not managing it day to day in a way that's super hands on. I did that administrative work in the front to make sure everything would just be going on its own. That might be something that could work for you.

[Katherine]

And also what's coming up for me is like you said, if I use the summer months to get kind of get structured and get familiar, then actually maybe I could lean on my husband's structuring abilities to kind of help set up this planning and like front end work. Let him know what I've found and then have him help me with that as well.

[Sean Pyles]

Well, Katherine, thank you for being so open with us about your finances today and how you feel about it. Keep us posted on how everything goes for you. I'd love to hear about how your budgeting journey goes from here.

[Katherine]

Thank you both so much. I really appreciate being here and that.

[Sean Pyles]

Is all we have for this episode. Remember, listener, that we are here to answer your money questions. So turn to the nerds and call or text us your questions at 901-730-6373. You can also send us an email. Our address is podcasterdwallet.com we would love.

[Elizabeth Ayola]

You to join us next time to hear the latest money news and also how you can manage a big windfall. Follow Smart Money on your favorite podcast app that includes Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and iHeartRadio. To automatically download new episodes.

[Sean Pyles]

Here is our brief disclaimer. We are not your financial or investment advisors. This nerdy info is provided for general educational and entertainment purposes and may not apply to your specific circumstances. This episode was produced by Tess Viglund. Hilary Georgie helped with editing. Nick Karisimi mixed our audio and a big thank you to NerdWallet's editors for all their help.

[Elizabeth Ayola]

And with that said, until next time, turn to the nerds.