NerdWallet’s Smart Money Podcast

Episode: "Fix Emotional Spending Habits with Feel-Good Finance and Learn How to Manage Finances Post-Job Loss"

Date: November 27, 2025
Hosts: Sean Pyles, CFP®, Elizabeth Ayola
Guests: Aja Evans (Financial Therapist & Author), Kim Palmer (NerdWallet writer), Bri (Listener)

Episode Overview

This episode is a special archive edition from the NerdWallet Smart Money team, combining two timely and deeply personal topics:

1. Untangling emotional spending habits and reshaping your relationship with money, featuring financial therapist Aja Evans and her book "Feel Good Finance."
2. Real-world strategies for coping with the emotional and financial aftermath of job loss, with practical listener Q&A on making smart money moves during uncertain times.

Key Segments & Timestamps

• [03:00] Feel-Good Finance: Untangling the Money Taboo & Emotional Spending
• [12:54] Listener Q&A: Navigating Finances After Job Loss

1. Feel-Good Finance: Emotions, Money Taboos, and Healing

(Interview with Aja Evans, led by Kim Palmer)

Why Do We Feel Bad About Money?

• Taboo & Lack of Conversation:

  • Money is seldom discussed openly, fueling discomfort, shame, and guilt.
  • “People just have no idea about money... we don't talk about it. It feels like such a secret that isn’t supposed to be spoken about.” – Aja Evans [03:15]

• Cultural Influences:

  • Some communities, especially Black families, may only discuss money within immediate family — limiting broader financial literacy and openness.
  • “That taboo has really caused us to feel uncomfortable just bringing up money...” – Aja Evans [03:15]

Breaking the Taboo—How to Start Talking About Money

• Practice Makes Comfort:

  • Increase ease by practicing money conversations with trusted people.
  • “Practice maybe not makes perfect, but makes you a little bit more confident.” – Aja Evans [06:11]
  • Kim Palmer reflects on how practicing salary negotiation with her dad prepared her for real-life scenarios. [05:57]

• Normalizing Vulnerability:

  • Label feelings before problem-solving; acknowledge sadness, discomfort, or parental dynamics without feeling disrespectful.
  • “I need you to check your respect for your parents at the door because it’s hindering your ability to just label your feelings.” – Aja Evans [08:05]

Addressing Emotional Spending

• Understanding the Dopamine Hit:

  • Shopping provides a real but fleeting emotional boost.
  • “You’re trying to buy your way out of the feeling... the dopamine does work, it just doesn’t last long.” – Aja Evans [09:54]

• Create a Personal ‘Dopamine Menu’:

  • Find alternative, no-cost activities to boost mood and self-worth, instead of turning to spending.

Actionable Feel-Good Finance Tips

• Financial Learning & Small Steps Matter:

  • “I want people to move their money into a high yield savings account. Please do not leave your savings in just a regular savings account... and start earning money on your money.” – Aja Evans [11:45]
  • “You do not need to be afraid of your feelings that come up with money.” [11:45]

• You’re Not Alone:

  • “Even if you feel the most shameful, you feel like you’ll never get out of it, you are not alone.” – Aja Evans [12:26]

2. Money Q&A: Managing Finances After Job Loss

(Hosts: Sean Pyles, Elizabeth Ayola, Listener Bri joins to share her real story.)

Listener Situation and Initial Moves

• Job Loss & Emergency Fund:
  • Bri was recently laid off but has an emergency fund to cover 4-6 months.
  • “It feels good that I have enough funds to get through the next four to six months...” – Bri [15:24]
  • She had been saving for a move to Chile, which contributed to her preparedness.

Emotional Rollercoaster After Job Loss

• Surprise & Grief:

  • Bri was blindsided by the layoff, with little explanation, leading to confusion and grief.
  • “It’s been a roller coaster... I was completely blindsided by this decision.” – Bri [17:27]

• Support Systems Matter:

  • Friends and professional networks have provided crucial support.
  • “One of the things that I did early on was I did communicate with my close friends about what was happening…” – Bri [24:34]

Prioritizing Financial Moves

• Emergency Fund & Budgeting:

  • Stripping her spending to essentials, focusing on discipline.
  • Immediate steps: filed for unemployment, paused travel/eating out, made a list of free local activities to counter travel temptations [28:17].

• Health Insurance Choices:

  • Facing high COBRA premiums ($971/month) vs. waiting for Medicaid/Marketplace eligibility.
  • “$971 is a big thing for me to swallow... But I also did go into Marketplace and submit the application there...” – Bri [25:41]
  • Advice: Call state agencies, consider lower-cost Marketplace plans, but don’t risk going uninsured for medical emergencies. [26:47]

• Alternative Income Strategies:

  • Considering part-time, temp, or contract work, but values stability.
  • “It's easier to get a job when you already have a job...” – Sean Pyles [23:38]
  • Contract work is an option, but Bri prefers part-time/in-person for consistency.

Rebuilding After Job Loss

• Emergency Fund Replenishment:

  • Use budgeting frameworks like 50/30/20 upon re-employment: 50% needs, 30% wants, 20% savings/debt.
  • “The 50 30, 20 budgeting framework can be very helpful... direct deposit... gradually build that up.” – Elizabeth Ayola [31:02]

• Retirement Accounts:

  • Don’t tap retirement unless absolutely necessary; earlier mistakes (cashing out) resulted in compounding losses.
  • “It’s just like a hard no for me moving forward.” – Bri [32:41]
  • Roll over accounts where possible, avoid scattered or involuntary cash-outs, compare fees and investment options for best returns. [34:16–35:29]

• Restoring Confidence & Structure:

  • Build routines and self-rewards into the job search process (e.g., “rewards” for milestones, both free and low-cost).
  • “You seem to be really good at building structure for yourself... that effort goes really far.” – Sean Pyles [30:03]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Saying No to Money Shame:
  • “You are not alone. It is possible. It’s gonna be hard, honestly. Please talk about your money with people that you feel close to.” – Aja Evans [12:26]
• On the Emotional Side of Job Loss:
  • “Job loss can be one of the most difficult things to go through... it’s important to sit with that and process all of your emotions.” – Sean Pyles [18:34]
• On Coping Without Overspending:
  • “I want people to...not be afraid of your feelings that come up with money. You will be okay, but you can’t be okay unless you understand what those feelings are.” – Aja Evans [11:45]
• On Boundaries and Support Systems:
  • “I can give you one day a week and I can give it $20. And that’s what I have... they have been so supportive and aware...” – Bri [24:34]

Actionable Takeaways

• Communicate About Money: Don’t let the taboo keep you in the dark—practice talking about finances, especially with trusted individuals.
• Identify Emotional Triggers: Recognize emotional spending patterns and develop non-financial coping mechanisms.
• Prioritize Emergency Savings: Prepare for uncertainties—build and, when necessary, use an emergency fund without guilt.
• Be Strategic with Unemployment: File for benefits immediately, cut nonessential spending, and actively investigate affordable health coverage options.
• Rebuild Gradually: When re-employed, deploy a budgeting framework (like 50/30/20), automate savings, and resist tapping retirement accounts except as a true last resort.
• Leverage Support Network: Be honest with friends about your financial reality; social and emotional support are invaluable, especially during tough times.

For Further Info

• Submit your own money questions:
  Call/text the Nerd hotline at 901-730-6373 or email podcast@nerdwallet.com
• Book club giveaways: nerdwallet.com/bookclub

This episode delivered real, empathetic financial talk—combining emotional intelligence with actionable advice, perfect for listeners facing money anxieties or big transitions.