Networth and Chill Podcast Summary

Episode: I Do NOT: The Dollars Behind Divorce
Host: Vivian Tu, aka Your Rich BFF
Guest: Jackie Combs, California Family Law Attorney at Blank Rome LLP and Author of Love Richer
Release Date: January 8, 2025

1. Introduction to the Episode

Vivian Tu opens the episode by highlighting the intersection of love and money, emphasizing that financial decisions play a pivotal role in the success or failure of marriages. She sets the stage for a candid conversation about how finances influence relationships, steering away from traditional, monotonous business podcast formats.

2. Belief in Love vs. High Divorce Rates

Jackie Combs shares her unwavering belief in love despite the alarming statistics—“50% of all marriages end in divorce in the US” ([00:00]). She draws from her personal experiences, mentioning her grandparents' 72-year marriage and her parents' upcoming 50-year anniversary, reinforcing her faith in lasting relationships.

Jackie Combs [02:58]: "My grandparents just celebrated this week their 72nd wedding anniversary. I believe in love."

3. Financial Partnership in Marriage

The core issue leading to divorces, according to Combs, is the lack of financial partnership. She emphasizes that couples often aren’t on the same page financially, which undermines the foundation of their marriage.

Jackie Combs [03:20]: "I think ultimately you're not on the same page. You're not financial partners."

4. Prenuptial Agreements: Insights and Misconceptions

Vivian and Jackie delve into prenuptial agreements, discussing their importance and why they're underutilized. Despite the high divorce rate, prenups are only present in about 10% of marriages as of 2022. Combs explains that prenups aren’t just for the wealthy but are vital for anyone with significant assets or specific financial expectations.

Jackie Combs [05:11]: "Just because you're a prenup, it does... doesn't mean you have to change all the terms of the law."

5. Digital Prenup Services and Cost Considerations

The conversation shifts to the rise of digital prenup services. While these platforms offer convenience and cost savings, Combs advises consulting with an attorney to ensure the agreement’s validity and comprehensiveness.

Jackie Combs [08:00]: "But before you sign on the dotted line, absolutely consult with an attorney."

Regarding costs, prenups can range from a few thousand to tens of thousands of dollars, depending on complexity and assets involved.

6. Cohabitation Agreements: Alternatives to Prenups

Combs introduces cohabitation agreements as an alternative for unmarried couples. These agreements outline financial responsibilities and asset division in the event of a breakup, preventing lengthy and costly legal disputes.

Jackie Combs [17:51]: "A cohabitation agreement... defines their rights and responsibilities about their finances."

7. Celebrity Cases: JLO & Ben Affleck, Tom Sandoval & Ariana Maddox

Analyzing high-profile cases, Combs discusses why even wealthy couples like Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck might forgo prenups—often due to belief in enduring love and separate asset management. Similarly, she examines Tom Sandoval and Ariana Maddox’s cohabitation issues, highlighting the importance of agreements to avoid protracted disputes.

Jackie Combs [14:55]: "Their teams may have said that, but they believed in love."

8. Financial Infidelity and its Impact

Vivian addresses the issue of financial infidelity—hidden debts or undisclosed assets. Combs emphasizes the legal requirement in states like California for full financial disclosure during divorces, protecting against deceitful practices.

Jackie Combs [29:37]: "Financial infidelity is real, common, and really scary."

9. Reconciliation During Divorce Process

Interestingly, Combs notes that many couples reconsider divorce during the legal process. Reasons include financial constraints, children's well-being, or rekindled love, often facilitated by therapy and improved communication.

Jackie Combs [21:38]: "A lot of them come back. Whether six months or a year later."

10. Managing Finances in Relationships: Tips and Strategies

Combs offers practical advice for couples to manage finances effectively:

• Communication: Regular, structured financial discussions.
• Financial Planning: Joint budgeting and setting financial goals.
• Transparency: Complete honesty about assets and debts.

Jackie Combs [24:43]: "Set a financial plan together, be partners."

11. Understanding Property Ownership

A detailed explanation of property ownership types:

• Joint Tenancy with Rights of Survivorship: Each owns 50%; upon one’s death, the other's share inherits entirely.
• Tenants in Common: Each owns a specific percentage, which can be bequeathed individually.

Jackie Combs [11:12]: "In California, assets acquired during marriage are presumed to be community property."

12. Postnuptial Agreements: When and How

Postnuptial agreements function similarly to prenups but are executed after marriage. Combs advises that they can still be valuable for defining asset division and financial responsibilities.

Jackie Combs [34:33]: "It's yours. If you decide you want to give a gift to your spouse... it's a very generous thing."

13. Common Disputes and Negotiation Tips

Combs highlights common financial disputes, such as differing views on asset purchases or hidden debts. She urges couples to treat financial discussions like business meetings—set agendas, stay on topic, and maintain respect.

Jackie Combs [24:38]: "Treat your partner like a business partner."

14. Final Thoughts and Closing Questions

The episode concludes with Combs sharing the messiest disputes she's encountered—often trivial items like pots and pans, which are manifestations of deeper control issues. She underscores the importance of clear agreements to avoid such conflicts.

Jackie Combs [37:23]: "It's never really about the pots and pans... It's a lack of control."

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jackie Combs [03:20]: "I think ultimately you're not on the same page. You're not financial partners."
• Jackie Combs [05:11]: "Just because you're a prenup, it does... doesn't mean you have to change all the terms of the law."
• Jackie Combs [08:00]: "But before you sign on the dotted line, absolutely consult with an attorney."
• Jackie Combs [14:55]: "Their teams may have said that, but they believed in love."
• Jackie Combs [29:37]: "Financial infidelity is real, common, and really scary."
• Jackie Combs [24:43]: "Set a financial plan together, be partners."
• Jackie Combs [37:23]: "It's never really about the pots and pans... It's a lack of control."

Conclusion

In this episode of Networth and Chill, Vivian Tu and Jackie Combs offer a comprehensive look into how financial dynamics influence marriages and divorces. From the necessity of prenuptial and postnuptial agreements to managing financial transparency and partnership, listeners gain valuable insights into safeguarding their relationships against financial turmoil. The discussion emphasizes proactive financial communication as a cornerstone of a healthy, enduring marriage.

For more personalized advice, Combs directs listeners to her platform Love Richer on social media, encouraging open dialogues about finances in relationships.

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