← Networth and Chill with Your Rich BFF
Networth and Chill with Your Rich BFF
Money & Love: Who Pays, How to Split Rent, Prenups & Relationship Red Flags
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Hello besties. We're going to play a game where we name two things we don't expect to go together, but they kind of work. Peanut butter and pickles Mom Donnie and Trump Money and Love it's really uncomfortable for a lot of people to talk about finances in their relationships, especially when it comes to someone you're falling in love with. But whether you're single and in the trenches, which I really do mean the trenches or engaged to the love of your life, money plays a role in every single part of your relationship. And there are a lot of money decisions we have to make when deciding to build a life with someone. Today on Net Worth and Chill, we're going to talk about who should pay for the first date, how to save on an engagement ring, the best way to split rent when you're moving in together, and so much more. Here are the essential money tips for any relationship. What's up everyone? I'm your host Vivian Toot, AKA your rich BFF and your favorite Wall street girly. Some of you might already know, but I got married about a year and a half ago and I came away with so many money lessons about planning my wedding and the process of marriage, it made me think a lot about the other things I've learned about navigating dating and money, as well as the things I wish my young single self would have known before she kissed a bunch of frogs. Before we dive into today's episode, if you're interested in getting the absolute blueprint for money management in your relationships, but pre order a copy of my new upcoming book, well Endowed, I outline exactly how, when, and what money topics should be discussed and give you guidelines of how to set up your relationship for financial success. You can pre order at richbffbook. Com and we'll link it in the show notes for you. Support for Net Worth and Chill comes from Adobe. Planning your finances means taking a realistic picture of your life as it is now and where you want to be. But you also got to plan for the unexpected because life happens and you need to be able to edit, adapt, and collaborate with others to reach your goals. Goals. Adobe gets that, which is why they made a tool that's just as flexible. PDF Spaces and Acrobat Studio. Your PDF files are no longer static. Instead, they're living documents that flex with you and your project's needs. Learn more@adobe.com do that with Acrobat okay, so before we get into it, I do have to talk about one thing Working women. There is a very clear fact that that There are a lot of gendered expectations that come up when we talk about heterosexual dating. Who pays on the first date, how to split the bills, who should be carrying more of the financial burden in the relationship right now? If you scroll an hour on TikTok, you'll easily come across all these terms like provider man and soft life that argue for a more traditional split of money in a relationship where the man handles everything financially and their trad wife can just stay at home. There is a huge push online for a conservative allocation of financial responsibility when it comes to love right now. But ladies, if there is anything that you can take away from this podcast episode, it is this. Do not believe the trad wives. They are trying to put you under spells I've said this, been saying this. As a woman, it is your financial duty to get rich. We're only one generation into women having financial autonomy. Until 1974, women weren't even allowed to have bank accounts, credit cards, or loans without the permission of a husband or male relative. Let that sink in. This is during my mom's lifetime. They invented color television before they invented women's financial independence. Do not give in to the propaganda that it's actually nice to stay at home and make bread while your husband is out at the office. Those tradwives actually have full time jobs. They're content creators. Money is agency, and sacrificing your own agency means letting someone else call the shots on your life. You're giving them the power over your standard of living, your day to day purchases, or what your future looks like, and most importantly, if and when all of it ends. I'm not saying that stay at home moms are cooked, but if you and your partner decides that one of you will be working outside of the house and the other in the house, you still need to make sure all of the work you're doing in the form of unpaid labor is compensated in some way, shape or form. You need to have your own money even if you aren't directly the one going out and earning it. The term provider man also irritates me on a few levels because when women talk about wanting to date rich, it's not that I think it's bad to want a financially stable partner, but I have to ask, what are you bringing to the table when we talk about wanting to date rich? Social media has tricked us into thinking that dating a man who's making $75,000 a year is not a good income. But the average income in this country is literally not even $60,000. So if you yourself are making around the national average, how are you going to meet this dream millionaire Prince Charming? And what qualities about yourself make you an attractive partner? To be honest, the easiest way to meet someone rich is, is just by being successful yourself, going to a prestigious college, landing a high paying job, and meeting other people through these elite social networks. By working on your own success, you not only guarantee your own independence, but you also advertise yourself as a partner that has a lot going on for yourself. And that, my friends, is always going to be a rare currency and in high demand. So with all of that said, who actually pays on the first date? Who pays on any date? I'm not going to lie. In my early 20s, when I was splashing around in the dating pool, I noticed that a natural side effect of going on a few dates per week was that my weekly grocery bill would also drop by, say $50. So funny. I actually did an interview about this topic with Elite Daily, which then got picked up by a bunch of other tabloids and these random news outlets then made this fake outrage title of Woman goes on dates to save money. No, here's the actual truth. I was saving money just because I was down to meet new people and I didn't want to cook. And over time, yes, that did accumulate into, say, hundreds of dollars in savings. But it was never that I expected my date to pick up the tab for our fun night out. I always offered to put my card down just because my intention was never a free meal, it was divine love. Sure, it probably was safe to forecast that a percentage of those dates would end up being a free food event. But a girl's always gotta have a safety net. You have to be able to pay for your own meal. Cause you never want a little tit for tat or thinking, you know, your date's gonna assume that if they pay, there's a little quid pro quo at the end. No, no. I wanna be able to go home to my own apartment away from you if this is bad. So let's answer the question. Who actually pays for the first date? In my opinion, it's whoever asks. You never want to be caught off guard expecting one thing when the other person is planning on something else. So always plan to go Dutch and pay for the food that you ate. But in my opinion, chivalry is not dead. If you invite someone else on a date, you should pay. Now that I've given you this backstory of my own dating history, I want to be really clear. I don't recommend dating a lot just to bring your food budget down. For example, I remember being locked into a 90 minute dinner with someone who did not ask me a single question about myself the entire time. He spent that entire meal going on and on about how amazing he was and how much money he made. And guess what? He then let me split the bill down the middle with him even though he got way more drinks and an appetizer and I didn't. And I'm this is all to say this is a warning. You cannot go into dating assuming that everyone is going to be chivalrous or courteous or any of those things. So be okay with splitting the bill. But also, if that's not something you're looking for in a partner and you want them to do those things, you can also know that if someone is asking you to do this, you don't have to call them again. This is also my message for all the guys listening if you can afford it, if it is within your means. If you invited pay on the first date, it only makes you look more polite, more considerate, and if we're being honest, it's a decent investment. You have to put an initial down payment down for a home. Consider this your small down payment on a lifelong partner, one who's probably going to add a lot of combined income to your joint income and they might pay half the rent. Throw $30 down for that pasta if you're betting on love. Now let's go into regular dates. Not just that first date, but if you're starting to see someone regularly. I do think it's a good idea to have a discussion about who is going to pay for dates and and how you're going to split little costs like picking up a pastry or coffee. Because money and sex rank as the top two reasons why couples fight, and financial disagreement is one of the most common causes for divorce. So in my opinion, the sooner you can talk to your partner and set expectations around spending, saving, paying down debt, and your own long term financial goals, the more likely you are to have a much easier relationship in the long run. I think people put off this conversation a lot because it's really awkward to talk about money when we've made it into this really unromantic, unsexy, and socially taboo topic. But the fact of the matter is, is that money is incredibly important and the longer you avoid it, the harder it'll become to bring it up. The last thing you want is to date someone for years and then realize that your spending habits are totally different. They don't work, they don't mesh. But the best case scenario is that right from the get go, you both have a clear understanding of what matters to you financially. You can figure out if there's a good match for your own money goals, and then you can just freely spend your time together, knowing what your expectations are. I'll give you the story of mine. My now husband and I were dating for about 30 days. One month. I moved into a new apartment with my girl roommate, and it ended up being infested with roaches because there was a roast roach infestation. I had to move in with him for a short period about a month before I could break my lease and get into a new apartment. Unfortunately, because I was already paying rent on that apartment, we each had to spend $4,000. So me and my roommate, in total $8,000 to break this lease. It wiped all of my savings, and I had to have a very candid conversation with my now husband and say, hey, I really appreciate that you and your roommate are letting me crash, that I'm, you know, taking up space, bringing all of my crap in here, but I literally don't even have a couple hundred dollars to give you in rent. I have no money. I'm spending it all on breaking this lease. I'm spending it all on movers. I just want to let you know, this is how much I make and how much I have. I was so nervous to have this conversation, but ultimately it led to my boyfriend, now husband, telling me exactly what he made, how much his bonus was, and from then on, every single money conversation felt so much easier. It was like we kind of, like pulled back the curtain and we realized that the wizard of Oz was actually just a man. And talking about money wasn't going to mess up our relationship. It was actually only going to make us stronger. And what I will say is, is that we are a normal couple. We still bicker, we still have fights, but one thing that we have never fought about is money, because we're actually really comfortable talking about it. And because of that, we fight a lot less than the average couple. So really encourage you to talk to your partner about this. It will change your relationship for the better. Now let's talk about moving in together. So you've been dating, you've been communicating with your partner about your individual expectations around money, and now you are ready to take the big leap. You want to sign a lease together, you want to move in. This is one of the biggest money milestones in any relationship. I mean, you're literally Deciding to sign a lease with a roommate that you'll share a bed with. And in some cases, you might actually be moving into a home that one of you owns. Or maybe you're getting a mortgage together. These are big, big choices. Your lives are being mushed together and there are a ton of money decisions that you need to make as you start to navigate this chapter together. How do you want to split rent and utilities? How do you want to split groceries? How often do you buy cleaning supplies? As someone who went through this process with my husband years ago, here's what I think. I don't believe in equality, but I do believe in equity. What do I mean by that? Say your partner earns $80,000 a year and you make $200,000 a year. If you rent an apartment that is $4,000 a month, each of you paying $2,000, one person is spending about a quarter of their pre tax income on rent and the other person's only spending a tenth. That is not fair. It is not a commensurate burden on each of you. Equality means that you and your partner split the rent down the middle 2000, you 2000 them regardless of how much you make. An equitable split means would actually be prorated based on your respective salaries. So the partner that makes $200,000 would pay more rent than the person who makes 80. You pay your portion, they pay theirs. Based on your income. This allows you to have it be a similar percentage of burden in your whole financial picture. So this allows you to still also both be contributing to your retirement funds. You can still go have fun, you can still do these things, but that rent is now at equal burden instead of an equal split. Equity, in my opinion, is the healthiest way to configure a successful financial future together. And I think in any loving relationship, both partners need to want the other person to be as financially secure as possible. By prorating rent based on income, you're ensuring that both people can meet their individual savings goals. They can live within their means and still have enough to spend the way that they want to. Speaking of how to split costs with your partner, we have to talk about marriage. For some of my engaged besties who've been following me for a while, you might have an idea about what I'm gonna say, but I'm gonna say it anyway. Get a pre nup, please. I think all women should want a prenup. I mean, technically you get one anyway when you get married, but if you don't write it, the government gets to write It. And I don't trust the government as far as I can throw them. I want to be in charge of my own destiny. I don't even like paying the government the money that I actually owe them. So why would I want to let them handle the money that I don't owe them, that they should not have any control over? I understand it's not the sexiest thing to do with your fiance, but. But it doesn't have to be a psychological thriller. All a prenup is is an agreement for what happens if you and your significant other end up not working out. And that's more or less just like car insurance or a will. No one wants to get into a crash or die, but you can't just live your life pretending like it may never happen. For my PRENUP, we went 5050 on everything we brought into the marriage and 5050 on everything that we earned during the marriage. The only exception was a 100% carve out of the equity in my business. Meaning, should we get divorced, the your HBFF would remain mine and mine alone. In the same way, I wouldn't get to put my husband's work experience on my resume. He shouldn't be able to take my business after we've dissolved our marriage. We both agreed that this was a really fair way to split things, and we set it up this way because for the first five years of our relationship, Boo was making like 2.3x what I was making. So he was paying for more of our vacations, more rent. He paid for more meals, and. And never once did he make me feel less than for making less than. But because he was doing all of that for us, for our joint life, I was able to save more, invest more, and eventually contribute more for the down payment on our home. So I had a lot more assets, but only because he set me up for success and wanted to make sure that I didn't feel like I was strapped for cash. So to make things fully fair, especially now that I make more money, I wanted to make sure that all of our assets going into the relationship were 50 50, even though I put an extra six figures down on our home, that was also his money. Because I wouldn't have had that extra six figures if I had paid for those vacations or those meals or that rent. And then anything that we make during the relationship, during our marriage, all of that cash, that would be subject to a 5050 split. And then the business I get to keep all the equity in. Anyone who says, oh, but marriage isn't A contract don't marry a woman who makes you feel like you're signing an employee contract must have forgotten the many legal documents you have to sign to get married in the first place. Marriage is quite literally a contract. It's a social one, it's a legal one, it's a financial one. So it's silly to pretend like it's just an emotional connection, really. Sitting down and taking into account all that you've worked for, all that they've worked for, what you've built together and what you really want to keep individually can actually be a very romantic process. And in my mind, protecting your partner's assets is the most loving thing you can do. My big hot take to close this up is if more couples treated their marriages with the type of respect and severity that we do when we start businesses, there will be fewer failed marriages. It is so important that you give this the gravitas and treat it with the gravitas that it has because it's a big decision. People don't start businesses willy nilly. You shouldn't be getting married willy nilly. I feel very similarly when it comes to sharing bank accounts with your spouse. The traditional viewpoint on this tends to be, oh, let's put all of our money into one shared pot. What's yours is mine, what's mine is yours. But can I say this? It didn't work back in the 1800s when women had no rights and nobody had microwaves. And I really don't think it works now. I much prefer a yours, mine and our situation where we each retain our individual bank accounts, but we have a joint account that we use for our shared expenses. And I already know some people are sharpening their pitchforks over this, but I'm sorry to say I'm right. According to the cdc, one in four women and one in seven men will experience physical violence by their intimate partner at some point during their lifetimes. And you never want to think that your relationship will take a turn for the worse. But just like with prenups, having a yours mine and our situation is just another layer of protection for both people. A huge reason why victims of domestic abuse struggle to leave is literally because their abuser is controlling their money. There are plenty of stories about how women who depended on their spouses were left destitute when the relationship ended and they just couldn't leave. Or maybe they trapped there for years on end. So all I have to say is that you do not have to be in a bad situation for the separate bank accounts to make sense, it's often also an asset to the relationship. Having your own account is kind of like having your own room in an apartment where you can have a little bit of privacy to just disassociate for a second. You can buy the random movie ticket to the Twilight marathon and go on your own, and that can be your own quiet alone time in total ghost mode. Not to mention, you'll have a clearer picture of what it is you actually own so that you can better plan to meet your savings goals rather than have to sift through the shared stuff to figure out how much you've spent or what you've saved. And I know the beauty of a relationship is melding your lives together, but I think the other half mentality is just not as fun as two independent people who can stand on their own but choose to be together anyway. It means that you are both powerful, you both have strength, and you both have agency and you love each other. Okay, so before we head into Q and A, I have to give you one more plug. If you are interested in how to build generational wealth, how to manage money smart with your partner, how to thrive in this economy despite it all, please please please pre order a copy of my upcoming book, well Endowed. I truly promise you that this is going to be the blueprint to using money to get you the life that you want. It is the 201. These are the real secrets that rich people are using to ensure that their money stays in their family tree, that they are able to use their money to protect their assets and maximize the value that they see. So check it out richbff.com, we'll put it in the show notes, but I promise you you want to get a copy of this book and there will be a ton of digital resources as well that I know you're going to love. Support for net worth and chill comes from Adobe. When you write down your financial goals, you do it knowing that life happens. Your finances evolve, your timeline shifts and the details change as needed. So if you need to be flexible and adaptable, then the documents you use to keep track of it all should be too. That's where PDF Spaces from Adobe Acrobat Studio comes in. With Acrobat Studio, you can do so much more with a PDF file than you ever thought possible. PDF Spaces takes those documents and turns them into a living project that you can edit, engage with, and collaborate with others on. You can even put all of your files into one workspace and have a whole conversation with your AI assistant about it. And ask questions to get deep insights about your project. You can also invite people to your PDF space and let them add files, comments, notes, and more. You can brainstorm through sketches or even synthesize all the info in podcast form. Acrobat Studio lets you generate an audio overview of your project in just one click. Learn more at Adobe.com do that with Acrobat hi friends, Quick pause in our show to take a question from my besties in phone A friend presented by Adobe Acrobat Lizzie asks I have a small business. When should I consider hiring help? Is there a financial threshold? Listen, there is no magic number where suddenly you need to hire, but there are some serious signs you should pay attention to. A common benchmark is when your business generates enough income to cover additional salaries while still allowing for profit. For instance, if hiring someone would take a significant portion of your profits but still leave you with a healthy margin, that could be a signal to expand your team. Also, we should think about workload considerations. If you find yourself overwhelmed with tasks and unable to focus on growth strategies or customer engagement, it might be time to hire. Think about your day to day operations. If you're spending too time on tasks that could be delegated, that's a sign you probably need support. Another thing to consider Profitability metrics. Look at your profitability. If you're consistently profitable and can afford to pay someone without jeopardizing your financial health as a business, that's a good indicator. Many businesses aim for a profit margin that allows for reinvestment and hiring. And last but not least, growth potential. If you have opportunities for growth that you can't capitalize on because of your current workload, hiring can help you scale. For example, if you have more clients than you can handle, bringing someone on could allow you to take on more business. Here's my rule when hiring someone would let you earn more money than they cost and improve your quality of life. Do it Start small with contractors or part time help before committing to full time employees with benefits. Now back to our show. Okay, now on to Q and A. First question Is it better to get married young or later in life? Ooh, that's a good one. So studies actually show that the age you get married is correlated with your net worth. The younger you get married, the less money you'll likely make over the course of your lifetime. I know, I know. Delayed marriage is a relatively new concept. Since the 90s, the average age for men and women to get married has increased from about 25 to 29 years old. According to the U.S. census Bureau. So whether it's people waiting to be financially stable before marrying or that people who wait to be married are more financially stable, there are some real financial implications to marrying later in life. Like, nobody says it's causation, but there is a correlation. My guess is that people who are getting married later in life often do so because they're trying to pursue their career. So naturally they have a little bit more money because they've really invested in that. To the folks that get married early and have children early often take time off from work, which can set back their earning potential. But this is all to say, live off of your own timeline. I know folks who got married early who are incredibly financially well off. I know folks who, you know, got married late, who are as well, or who maybe aren't do what works for you. But it's really important that you feel in a confident financial position now by yourself before starting a relationship, before having a family, before getting married. Because why would you want to build that house on rocky foundation? You want to have it be rock solid? Okay, next question. How can I save on my wedding? Okay, there are a number of ways to actually save on your wedding, and I think this is so smart. First and foremost, you can actually get a tax write off on your flowers by donating them to a nursing home or a hospital. So what you essentially do is you want to coordinate this, coordinate this well before your actual wedding. But flowers oftentimes are one of the most expensive things. They certainly were for my wedding. If you are getting married, say on like a Friday night or a Saturday night, you should coordinate with this place. It has to be a place that would take flowers. So a hospital or a nursing home or a retirement community, they will take your gently used flowers. They can actually coordinate a van to come get it like around 2am, whatever, when your party is over or the following day. And you would get a tax write off for the value of those used flowers. So say your flower budget was $20,000. I'm not saying you're getting a $20,000 write off, but you might be able to write off $10,000, which is still a really, really nice little bump that'll help you make that cost of those flowers a little bit more accessible and you get to do a nice thing. You know, people love to see flowers in a hospital. People love to see flowers in some of these, like nursing homes or retirement communities. It's just a nice way to reduce, reuse a cycle because more often than not those flowers get trashed. And it's such a waste. Another really good option is your dress. You can pay your dress forward to a bride in need through good, through organizations like Goodwill Brides for Cause, the bride's project. Just Google like wedding dress donation on Google and I'm sure a bunch of local resources will come up for wherever you live. I think this is really cool because there are people who are like, oh well, I want to keep my wedding dress and like pass it down to my daughter. I'm telling you, the style that your daughter probably wants in, I don't know, 25 years is not going to necessarily be the same style that you got. Who's to say that you'll even be the same size? Maybe she's a lot taller than you, maybe she's a lot shorter than you. So I just think that like, sure, if you want to keep your dress for sentimental reasons, great, do it. But if you don't have a lot of sentimentality attached to your dress, paying it forward, you can get a great tax write off, but also you get to help a bride in need, which I think is really, really thoughtful and really sweet. And last but not least, if your venue is at a historical location, so I'm talking museums, gardens, parks, you might be able to deduct part of the venue fee as a charitable contribution as long as you paid fees for the preservation of the location. So this isn't quite as simple as just being able to write off the amount, the full amount. But some of these like, you know, heritage sites actually are having part of your venue fee be for preserving the location and you can write that part off. So again, talk to your planner, talk to the folks on site, they're going to have a better idea of whether or not this applies to you. But if it does, could save you a pretty penny. Next question, how can I save on my engagement ring? Ooh, this is a great one. So make sure that you are forwarding this to, to your booze, whoever's buying the ring. So if you've saved up your money and you're ready to buy the ring, my recommendation is, is that if you're hoping to get a certain size gem, go just slightly under around gem size. So for example, if you want a 2 carat diamond, getting a 1.9 carat or a 1.95 carat is going to look almost identical like you. Like from a naked eye you probably can't tell, no one can tell. But if you round slightly under, you are going to save a lot of money whether you're buying a mined or lab grown diamond. Whether you're buying a sapphire or a ruby or any sort of gemstone, none of them grow in price in a linear fashion. All stones hit noticeable jumps once you get to round numbers. So it's kind of like boop boop boop. Like at every single round number you're going to see a marked difference in price. So if you buy slightly under the round number, a 2.9 carat sapphire is going to cost a lot less than a 3.1 carat sapphire. And nobody, I promise you nobody will be able to tell how can I say no to a bachelorette party invitation? Oh, this is a good one. I'm gonna need y' all to stop going into debt just because you don't know how to say no to your friends. This is the literal script, so get ready. Feel free to write this down or record it. Whatever you're going to say to your friend. Congratulations on your engagement, Katie. I'd be honored to be your bridesmaid, but I'm gonna have to keep it super real with you. I'm currently paying off a credit card bill and saving for a house and my budget for your engagement weekend or your bachelorette party or whatever is xyz. I don't wanna hold up your dream, but I just cannot spend over X, Y, Z. Let me know if this is going to become a problem and how else I can support you. I'm happy to come just as a guest or support you in other ways, but also let me know which of these things that you want to do. Whether that's you know, the engagement party or the bachelorette party or the actual day of the wedding. Like let me know which of these is most important to you and what are non negotiables. I want to be there for you, but I also want to stay within my financial limits. If your friend does not appreciate and understand what you're going through, they are not a real friend because they would rather you go into financial peril so that they can have an Instagram worthy time. And I think that's a bad friend. So trust me, most people will be more understanding than you know. And if you are a bride, don't be a jerk. Send out a survey monkey like ask people what they are comfortable spending on your bachelorette weekend. Ask people what they're comfortable spending on bridesmaids dresses or maybe just pay for them. In my case, I actually told all of my bridesmaids there is no like required bridesmaid stress. So you don't have to buy something. Unless you want to. I'm just asking you to wear a red dress. Almost every single one of those girls that was in my, that were in my photos owned a red dress already. They were able to just wear the dress that they already owned. But if they wanted to buy a red dress, they were able to buy something that they would actually wear again, versus me being like, oh, but you can wear this again and knowing full well that it looks exactly like a bridesmaid's dress and nobody would wear it again. So just have a little bit of flexibility as a bride or a groom and know that yes, it's your special day, but these people still have lives outside of you. Okay, what are some of your financial red flags? Oh, that's a good question. So if you realize anyone has not been honest about their financial situation, run. Dishonesty is a huge red flag in any aspect of your relationship. But if you learn that someone's been hiding debt or lying about their salary to you, get out of there. Because if things get any more serious, that will only end up impacting you. I just find that people who lie about their money are going to lie about other stuff and I don't want a partner who lies. But also, lying about your finances is particularly insidious because it always, always, always comes to a head. That will come to a head when you try to buy a home. That will come to a head when you try to go get a loan for a car. That will come to a head when you realize that you can afford to go on vacation but they can't pick up their half or they can't help. They can't help with a lot of things because they don't have the money or because they have been irresponsible or maybe they have gambling debt. Whatever it is, I hate it when people lie to me because I feel like it question. It's like them questioning my intelligence of being able to figure it out. If your partner is a financial liar, not a good sign. Also another red flag if your spending habits are very different. I'm just going to say that your relationship is more than likely not going to work out. Someone who spends a ton of money on every possible thing while you're budgeting every single dollar, it shows a huge value difference. And if you really cared about saving your hard earned money, I can't see how someone freely blowing their paycheck would be a green flag for you. I don't think your person has to be debt free. I don't think your Person has to be perfect. But I do think you guys have to value a dollar the same way. Last but not least, financial a holes. I've been on a million dates with Brads and Chads who brag endlessly about the money they make while refusing to pay for their half of dinner or even venmoing their friends back. Watch out for these people because usually you can hear them yelling about stock options from a mile away. But honestly, someone who does not have integrity or understanding of like, what is fair and what is just when it comes to money and their relationships, not just even romantic, but like with their friends, that is going to be a problem for you in the future. And it's not someone that I want to be with. I have always, always prioritized finding a generous partner because someone who is generous doesn't need to be rich, but they'd have to be willing to give up something that they could otherwise use. So, you know, when my husband and I first started dating, he was so generous, even when we had no money. He would take me out to, you know, a fast casual restaurant, but he would offer to pay. And it's like, we can do stuff within our price point. It doesn't have to be fancy, you know, Michelin star restaurants. But like, having a generous partner who's willing to give up something that they have to share with you is always a good sign because moving forward, they'll end up being generous with their money, with their time, with their love, and that's really important. Okay. Whew. That wraps us up. I know we talked a lot about the stages of relationships that we all go through, but it's important to remember that personal finance is personal, so you should always be doing what works best for your relationship. I'm just here to provide tips, but you don't have to follow anything I say. And just like anything else in a healthy partnership, the best way to navigate these tricky circumstances is is with communication. Communication, communication. Talk to your partner. If you're worried about not meeting your financial goals, talk to them. When you're thinking about getting a prenup ahead of getting married or a postnup if you're already hitched. By making the money talks less scary now, you'll actually be able to create a kinder and more honest baseline for all these conversations in the future so that these obstacles only feel easier and easier to hurdle through. And remember, if the person you're on a date with sucks, you can always just get up and leave. I'll see you guys next week. Thanks for tuning into this week's episode of Net Worth and Chill, part of the Vox Media Podcast Network. If you like the episode, make sure to leave a rating and review and subscribe so you never miss an episode. Got a burning financial question that you want covered in a future episode? Write to us via podcastorrichbff.com follow Net Worth and Chillpod on Instagram to stay up to date on all podcast related news and you can follow me at your Richfield BFF for even more financial know how. See you next week. Bye. 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