Networth and Chill with Your Rich BFF: Optimism & Money - How to Think Your Way to Richness with Dr. Sue Varma

Hosted by Vivian Tu

In the January 17, 2024 episode of Networth and Chill with Your Rich BFF, host Vivian Tu delves deep into the intricate relationship between optimism and financial well-being with her guest, Dr. Sue Varma. As Vivian navigates the anxieties of her book launch and upcoming tour, Dr. Varma, a board-certified psychiatrist and clinical assistant professor at NYU Langone Hospital, provides insightful perspectives on cultivating a positive mindset to achieve financial and personal success.

1. Guest Introduction and Background

[00:07] Vivian Tu opens the episode by sharing her personal struggles with anxiety related to her debut book release and upcoming tour. She introduces Dr. Sue Varma, emphasizing her expertise in psychiatry and her upcoming book, Practical Optimism.

[01:49] Dr. Sue Varma elaborates on her multifaceted career, highlighting her clinical work with patients through cognitive behavioral therapy, couples counseling, and her role as the former medical director of the 911 Mental Health Program at NYU. She also discusses her extensive experience in public speaking, contributing mental health insights to major television programs like the Today Show and Good Morning America.

2. The Evolution of Psychiatry's Stigma

[03:38] Vivian Tu poses a pivotal question: "Why do you think psychiatry has gone from something that was so stigmatized, something that was so, like, embarrassing and shameful, and now you can walk onto the subway and hear people making jokes like, 'Oh, my therapist told me,' or 'My psychiatrist told me'?"

[04:02] Dr. Varma attributes the reduced stigma to generational shifts and the profound impact of social media, particularly platforms like TikTok. She notes, "People are normalizing and being vulnerable, having pride in struggling and being like, 'Yeah, I struggle too. But I'm here for you.'" The COVID-19 pandemic further accelerated this change by making mental health a universal topic, as everyone experienced shared struggles and isolation.

3. Understanding Optimism and Pessimism

[06:02] Vivian Tu explores the natural variance in optimism among individuals: "Why do some people naturally just feel more optimistic and other people feel naturally more pessimistic?"

[06:21] Dr. Varma explains that optimism can be genetically influenced, specifically pointing to the oxytocin receptor gene. However, she emphasizes that even those not naturally predisposed to optimism can adopt an optimistic mindset through deliberate practices. She states, "Even if you aren't born with that gene, you can act like an optimist. That's what Practical Optimism is about." This approach involves community building, seeking support, and developing effective coping mechanisms.

4. Practical Optimism vs. Traditional Optimism

[09:52] Vivian Tu seeks clarity on the distinction between practical optimism and traditional forms: "What is the difference between practical optimism versus just the traditional or colloquial definition of optimism?"

[10:09] Dr. Varma delineates the concept by contrasting dispositional optimism with practical optimism. Traditional optimism involves envisioning the best possible outcomes, but often lacks actionable steps. In contrast, practical optimism encompasses eight deliberate steps, starting with having a clear purpose and progressing through emotion regulation, problem-solving, and maintaining healthy habits. She explains, "Practical optimism says, 'Don't worry, I got you, bestie. I got your back. I have a plan for you.'"

5. Actionable Advice for Maintaining Optimism During Stress

As Vivian prepares for her book tour, she seeks Dr. Varma’s advice on managing stress and avoiding burnout while on the road.

[16:16] Dr. Varma identifies key signs of burnout, including cynicism and exhaustion, and offers strategies to combat them:

• Envision the Best Outcome: Visualize a successful and fulfilling day. Vivian envisions, "a packed house, people laughed at my corny jokes, and walked away feeling that it was money well spent."
• Schedule Rest: Incorporate intentional rest periods and "Oasis Moments"—short, five-minute breaks to recharge mentally.
• Stay Present and Purpose-Driven: Focus on the immediate positive impacts rather than solely on long-term goals.

6. The Link Between Optimism and Wealth

[27:35] Vivian Tu references a study suggesting people can discern wealth from facial expressions alone and inquires about the relationship between optimism and financial success.

[28:20] Dr. Varma affirms that optimism is closely linked to increased wealth and productivity. Optimists tend to be more proactive, take risks, and foster better relationships, all of which contribute to financial success. She states, "Optimists have longer-lasting friendships, they're more likely to ask for promotions, and they're more engaged in their work." However, she cautions against toxic optimism, which involves ignoring negative realities rather than constructively addressing them.

7. Can Money Buy Happiness?

Vivian poses a classic question: "Do you think you can buy happiness?"

[35:21] Dr. Varma differentiates between happiness and joy. She defines happiness as "feeling like all of your needs are met and having positive feelings about your life," often tied to external factors. In contrast, joy is cultivated internally through meaning and purpose. While money doesn't directly buy happiness, it facilitates conditions that can enhance it by providing options, time, and resources. She emphasizes valuing experiences over material possessions, sharing her personal preference for spending money on trips and meaningful activities rather than luxury items.

8. Addressing Skepticism Towards Positivity and Mindfulness

[40:17] Vivian Tu addresses the skepticism surrounding optimism and mindfulness, often dismissed as "woo woo."

[40:29] Dr. Varma counters these criticisms by grounding practical optimism in scientific research. She references functional MRI studies showing distinct brain activity in optimists versus pessimists and underscores that her methods are evidence-based. "There's nothing in here that I wouldn't recommend that I actually haven't worked with my patients or seen work with deep science." She highlights the tangible benefits of optimism, including longer lifespans, better health outcomes, and stronger relationships.

9. Closing Thoughts and Resources

In wrapping up, [44:28] Dr. Varma provides information on her upcoming book, Practical Optimism, available through major retailers and her personal website. She encourages listeners to engage with her content for ongoing mental health support and insights.

[45:22] Vivian Tu expresses gratitude, acknowledging Dr. Varma's invaluable advice and reinforcing the episode's key takeaway: cultivating a practical, actionable form of optimism can significantly impact one's financial and personal success.

Notable Quotes:

• Vivian Tu [00:07]: "If we're being really vulnerable and honest, I have had some pretty bad spiraling negative thoughts... I struggle with being positive when it really matters."

• Dr. Sue Varma [04:02]: "With TikTok, people are normalizing and being vulnerable, having pride in struggling and being like, 'Yeah, I struggle too. But I'm here for you.'"

• Dr. Sue Varma [06:21]: "Even if you aren't born with that gene, you can act like an optimist. That's what Practical Optimism is about."

• Dr. Sue Varma [10:09]: "Practical optimism says, 'Don't worry, I got you, bestie. I got your back. I have a plan for you.'"

• Dr. Sue Varma [28:20]: "Optimists have longer-lasting friendships, they're more likely to ask for promotions, and they're more engaged in their work."

• Dr. Sue Varma [35:21]: "If you have a choice between a bag or spending money on experiences, I would always choose to do experiences."

• Dr. Sue Varma [40:29]: "There's nothing in here that I wouldn't recommend that I actually haven't worked with my patients or seen work with deep science."

Conclusion:

This episode of Networth and Chill with Your Rich BFF offers a compelling exploration of how adopting a practical, science-backed optimistic mindset can enhance one's financial well-being and overall life satisfaction. Dr. Sue Varma's insights provide listeners with actionable strategies to cultivate optimism, mitigate stress, and ultimately, achieve a richer, more fulfilling life.

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