B (2:53)

Support for Net Worth and Chill comes from Adobe Planning your finances means taking

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a realistic picture of your life as

B (2:59)

it is now and where you to be. But you also got to plan for the unexpected because life happens and you

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need to be able to edit, adapt

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and collaborate with others to reach your goals. Adobe gets that, which is why they made a tool that's just as flexible PDF spaces. In Acrobat, your PDF files are no longer static. Instead they're living documents that flex with you and your project's needs. Learn more@adobe.com do that with Acrobat let's

A (3:26)

start from the beginning. So you gotten your invitation. Hooray. Before you accept or decline, let's talk about what this will actually cost you. Say you're in Texas and the wedding is in California. That means you will definitely have to pay for a flight and a hotel. You also have to wear something and you have to get a present. But let's also get really, really specific. There's a ton of hidden costs that you might forget when budgeting. If you want to buy a new outfit, do you need to get it altered? Are you going to buy shoes? Accessories? Are you going to get your hair or makeup done? If it's fancy like that, possibly you might need to get a rental car. Don't forget about hotel parking fees, tips for the hotel staff, the non reception dinner meals that you'll have to eat while you're traveling, and any costs that might arise with your travel plans. Generally check bag fees, anyone? From there we can create a three tier budget just like couples do for their actual weddings. Your low number is what you'd be thrilled to spend, mid is realistic and high is your absolute maximum before you need to decline attending at all. This helps you make decisions when costs start creeping up. Figure out if you can afford it before you rsvp. If you can't, just send the couple a heartfelt note letting them know that you will be so sad to miss it but would love to contribute a small gift to the registry or their honeymoon fund. True friends want you financially healthy, not broke from their party. This brings us to the next hurdle. How much should you give a couple? Gifting strategy matters. There's a lot of social pressure because you don't want to come off as cheap. But sometimes you cannot afford the 1000 doll dollar espresso machine without overdrafting on your card. But despite what wedding registries might suggest, you don't need to spend a fortune. A thoughtful 50 to 200 gift is perfectly appropriate for most relationships and you have up to a year after the wedding to give it. If it's a close family member or true best friend, you can give a little bit more if and only if it's in your budget. If money's tight, consider going in on a group gift with other guests or giving something meaningful but budget friendly. You should not be putting yourself in credit card debt to get the couple a really nice stand mixer. That's ridiculous. If the wedding is a dest wedding, your presence is the present. Full stop. The couple chose an expensive location knowing it would cost guests money to attend. Don't feel guilty about spending less on a gift when you're already dropping hundreds

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or thousands to be there.

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Take it from someone who had a destination wedding. I guarantee that all of us level headed destination brides are not banking on anyone bringing gifts. We know what we're doing. In particular, I actually sent out a note to all of our guests saying please do not get us a gift. And the only people who really broke that rule were super close family and friends who were in a much different financial position and could afford to get us something additional on top of that. As for the main event, let's talk about saving money on travel because let's be honest, this is where most people end up spending the most traveling to the destination. The good news is that there are a ton of ways to save while booking your flights and accommodations. If you're a responsible credit card user, you could consider opening a new travel credit card specifically for this trip. You use it for all of your wedding and travel purchases to hit that sign up bonus which could literally pay for your flights or hotels. Just make sure you can pay it off completely and plan to downgrade to a no fee version afterward. Again, only do this if you have a responsible history of paying your credit card bill in full on time. I don't want you to be tempted if you've recently become a reformed credit card user. However, if you can responsibly spend this is a Great way to rack up miles and points that can help make this travel a lot cheaper. Additionally, for international travel specifically, you can skip paying for Global Entry if you don't travel internationally often. Instead, you can download the mobile Passport control app. It's free and gets you through customs way faster than the regular lines. It's basically the same time saving benefit without the $100 plus fee. But if you really want to get Global entry TSA Pre Check or Clear check to see if your credit card will cover the initial setup fees. A lot of major credit cards often offer this as a perk, so double check before you pay. And if you are down with the airport having your facial data, which let's be honest, they probably already have. If you already have TSA Precheck, you can sign up for Touchless id. It's basically facial recognition software so you don't have to take out your ID while in line. Certain airports have a fully separate line for this, different from the traditional TSA Precheck line. And let me be honest, it's way faster and way fewer people have caught onto this yet. So this is just another way to fast track your airport security experience with no extra cost. Your strategy for flight and accommodation booking also matters. Book flights on Tuesday or Wednesday if possible. Studies show that these days tend to be when airlines drop their prices the most and use incognito mode when searching. Since airlines track your searches for domestic flights, book at least a month ahead, ideally one to three months out to save around 25% compared to last minute booking. Another pro tip is to fly into a nearby city, then take budget transportation to your actual destination. If you can be flexible on dates using tools like Google Flights, Skyscanner and Kayak allow you to compare their fare calendars to show you exactly which days are the cheapest. As for hotels, always check with your wedding couple to see if they have a room block discount, but also cross compare with Airbnb for longer stays to see what might be better for your budget. Not to mention some travel rewards credit cards offer free night stays with participating hotels or annual statement credits. We're talking between 200 to $600 which can apply to your booking to reduce your bill. Some travel credit cards also offer vacation rental category bonuses that work on Airbnb or VRBO or other similar platforms. So these bonuses are not just to exclusive hotel bookings. Make sure you are taking full advantage. A lot of these types of high level perk credit cards have husky annual fees. We're talking 395 to $895 a year. So make sure you are using and abusing all of those because if you don't, you may not be able to make up that annual fee. You want to make sure that you are tapping into every single reward available to you. Also, if you're planning on making a trip out of it, food and activities can add up fast. So mix expensive must do experiences with free walking tours, picnics with local food markets and happy hours. Instead of just eating dinner at tourist hotspots, try street food instead of dine in restaurants. Check out museums with free entry on certain dates and public hiking trails or viewpoints instead of shelling out for ticketed experiences. Having a plan and being incredibly surgical about where you're going to spend your money will save you a lot of anxiety and headaches in the long run. Furthermore, a lot of these tourist destinations want to be able to forecast how many guests they're going to have every single day. That's why if you book well in advance, you get an early bird rate that allows you to save a lot of money versus showing up to the museum that day of and saying hey, can I have a ticket now? We actually noticed this when we were traveling around Italy. If you were able to buy your tickets well in advance, they would be in the teens in terms of dollars versus if you bought them at the actual venue, they could be 30 or 40. So just make sure you're planning well in advance because the sooner you book, you're going to be saving money.

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Additionally, if you're going to an international

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wedding and planning on shopping while you're there, I have two words for you. VAT refunds. In most international markets, the VAT Value added tax is a 5 to 25% tax that's already included in the price of many good if you're a foreign tourist, some or all of this tax can be refunded back to you. The amount of your refund depends on the percentage VAT that country charges. Typically, high end boutiques will provide you with the necessary paperwork when you buy your item and some may even process your refund in store. Otherwise, just budget extra time at the airport when you're departing to visit the VAT kiosk and submit the paperwork that the stores provided for you. How much can you actually save? I bought a pair of Chanel shoes in Paris Pre Covid for $725, but they were closer to $500 after the VAT refund. If I had purchased those shoes in America, they would have been a shade over $1,000, so I felt like I had gotten a really great deal. It was a nice little splurge while I was traveling. And frankly, if you were already planning an international trip, this might be a good time to save on any of those luxury pieces that you've been saving up for or that you'd like to invest in for the future. This is all to say, it's really important to make sure that you're planning well in advance. I'd like to pivot us into now the Q and as always, if you have money questions, I highly encourage you to check out my app Ask Dolly. We're able to get you financial knowledge 247 and if you ask a very personal one on one question, we even have live human CFPs that can help you out. So please check it out. Ask Dolly.com you can get all of your financial questions answered. Think about it like having me in your back pocket.

B (12:14)

Support for net worth and Chill comes from Adobe. Things change, life happens, timeline shift, and your financial strategy. It has to be able to keep up and fit the current moment. So if you need to be flexible and adaptable, then the documents you use

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to keep track of it all should be too.

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That's where PDF Spaces from Adobe Acrobat comes in. With Acrobat, you can do so much more with a PDF file than you ever thought possible. PDF Spaces takes those documents and turns

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them into a living project you can

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edit, engage with, and collaborate with others on. You can even put all your files into one workspace and have a whole conversation with your AI assistant about it. Then you can ask questions to get deep insights about your project, all without leaving the PDF space. You can also invite people to your PDF space and let them add files, comments, notes, and more. You can brainstorm through sketches or even synthesize all the info in podcast form. That's right, Acrobat lets you generate an audio overview of your project in just one click. The world isn't static, and thanks to Acrobat, Neither are your PDFs. Learn more at Adobe.com do that with Acrobat hi friends. Quick pause in our show to take a question from my besties. In Phone, a friend presented by Adobe Acrobat M asks, how do you prioritize

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what actually moves the needle in your

B (13:32)

personal life when everything feels equally urgent? This is such a great question. The best way to address this Creating a system. Specifically the ABC system. Essentially, you're going to start to sort your tasks by urgency. Not your perceived urgency of these tasks, but actual urgency. Like an externally assigned due date for a project with the ABC system. Each letter corresponds to a different priority. And here's what they all represent. A tasks are needs.

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They are urgent and important.

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These got to get done first.

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No negotiation.

B (14:05)

This is your rent, your bills, your

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work projects that are do in the near future.

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B tasks are wants. They're important, but they're not urgent. These matter and they're going to become A tasks if you keep ignoring them. You can put these tasks off, but

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only for so long.

B (14:21)

C tasks are everything else. These are neither urgent nor important. So you are able to slow roll them, delegate them, or frankly eliminate them entirely. Now let's put this in action. You're going to write down all of the tasks you have to complete and assign a letter to each task. This way you can easily tell which tasks are urgent and which can be put aside.

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For now.

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Understand that your priorities are not static. They shift as your week evolves and as new information comes in. What starts as a B on Monday

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might genuinely become an A by Thursday. And what was an A on Monday

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might actually be a B by Thursday. The ABC method only works if you actually start with your A tasks instead of warming up on easy C tasks because they feel more manageable. So do the hard things first. Trust me, you'll feel so much better. Now back to our show.

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Now onto our Q and A.

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Question number one.

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I've got weddings lined up all summer. Any tips for juggling multiple budgets to save as much as possible? Where should I splurge in my trip budget? Is there something that I should definitely not skimp on? Okay, so this is an incredibly personal conversation. However, what I really encourage you to think about is should you have a overall wedding budget that you want to be spending on other people's weddings or should it be individual budgets per trip? I would say for me personally, I do per trip. Because there are certain people's weddings I'm willing to spend more on and certain people's weddings that I really don't want to. This allows me to essentially. This is terrible. Rank my friends. There are weddings that I go to because I love this person. They've been my best friends in college and I want to be there. There are other weddings that I go to out of social obligation because they are a close family relative and if I don't go, my mom will be mad. I am willing personally to spend a more on my friends events than people that I have to just go to the weddings because they're loose family because of that. I also try my best to spend on things that are going to make the trip bearable. So for me it's really important to be able to sleep at a nice hotel. But if it's less than a five or six hour flight, I'll probably try and fly basic economy in the back. It's not that big of a deal to me, but it's personally up to you. I would say do your best to leverage any sort of savings that are available to you, even if it doesn't necessarily mean that you are traveling in style. Sometimes it's even more important to make sure that you are in the hubbub. Just because a hotel is slightly nicer outside of the city. You might want to stay in the city, but it's entirely up to you. I would just say from the wise words of a friend of mine, Paula Pant, you can afford anything, just not everything. So you have to personally decide what is most worth it to you.

B (16:58)

Question number two.

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I'm invited to the engagement party, the bachelorette and the wedding. Do I need to bring gifts for all three? Okay, this drives nuts and really grinds my gears because I am someone who did not have a bridal shower. I did not have an engagement party. I did have a bachelorette, but I kept it pretty tight and I paid for a lot of the expenses. I covered most of them as well as, you know, my destination wedding. I am of the camp that if you are forcing your friends to come to these things, they shouldn't have to bring a gift. However, there is a big social obligation often to bring gifts. I would check in with your friend and say, hey, what are the expectations here? Is the engagement party something that's low key and at, you know, maybe their parents house? Or is this engagement party at a venue that they booked out? Is the bachelorette something that is really, really fun and you guys are just going to be going out or like are you going to be unboxing lingerie on the last night? I think it's really frustrating for me to feel like you need to get a gift for every single event because the gift should be that we are all together. But I do say, you know, I encourage you to chat with your friend about what the expectations are and if the expectations are beyond what you're able to provide, I would be really candid about that and say, hey, I'm so happy for your special life moment. Unfortunately, it is not in the budget for me to be able to attend all three of these events. Which of them are most important and what order of priority. Would you like me to prioritize? My guess is the wedding will be number one, maybe the bachelorette number two, and the engagement party number three. So would it be possible for you to skip one of those events? It's really up to your relationship with the bride and or the groom. And I think you learn a lot about a person on how they respond to this type of question. I would never want to put any of my friends in financial duress just to be able to be there for me. Frankly, I'm someone who covered some expenses for friends so that they could be there for me because it was more about their presence versus the present. Okay, three. Do you have any tips for saving money on dresses, shoes, accessories and makeup? Yes. Renting is the name of the game. I cannot stress this enough. A lot of us as women in particular feel like we can only wear something one time, and as soon as we're photographed in it, it's game over. Like, we should not be buying big events rent outfits anymore. Now with platforms like Rent the Runway, Nuuly, Pickle Buy Rotation, there's so many services where you can either rent clothes from a company or clothes from other girls in your town. This allows you to also spend less while wearing something that's probably higher value and looks a little bit nicer. Right. You also don't want to be spending just like cheap amounts of money to buy fast fashion and like contributing to like global warming, but also like, you know, looking kind of crappy. So I would say renting is so, so important. That can be really helpful for dresses and shoes and accessories. As for makeup, something that's like really interesting is if your friend is getting married in a major city. Sephora I think does like a once a year, like you can get your makeup done there if you are a VIB member. So if you've already spent like money on your own skin care on stuff that you're already buying, they may be able to do your makeup for free that day. So that's just a way to like really, really help if you're willing to like wake up a little bit earlier and make appointment and go to your Sephora and get that done. I think some people are very particular about how their makeup looks, but I would also say just like watch a YouTube tutorial and like do your own makeup. I typically do my own makeup and my own hair for all of my friends weddings. The only time that I've had my makeup done for a wedding is my very own. And that was worked into the budget But I would say renting and seeing where you can get things done for free is a game changer. Question number four. I feel really guilty for telling my friend I can't afford her bachelorette party. How do I go without breaking the bank? Ooh, this is such a painful one. Because I know how badly want to be there. But I also know that it's important to you, based on how you phrase this question, that you don't want to, like, go for broke just to try to be there. I would talk to your friend about it and just say, hey, is there a way that, like, one, I could swing this for maybe a night if it's in a similar town to where you currently live? And like, just say, hey, I'll participate in a couple events, not the whole weekend. Or if it's somewhere that's a destination of, like, is there a way that, like, you could go for part of the time and only pay for part of the time? Ultimately, there are things in your life that you're going to need to prioritize over a bachelorette party. Maybe it's also just saying, hey, I can't afford to go to your bachelorette party, but why don't we do a night out in the town that we already live so we can stay at our own apartments, we can go out, I'll buy you a couple drinks, we'll go out, we'll go dancing. It'll be a lot of fun. Truly. At the end of the day, the thing that you're going to miss the most is the crazy 2am story about getting drunk pizza. It's not going to be the luxury rental in Cabo. Like, no one's going to remember where you stayed. It's all about the conversations that get had with those friends. So I would say instead of trying to force fit yourself into that event, how do you create that environment again without breaking the bank?

B (21:43)

Question number five.

A (21:44)

Is it cheaper to book multiple flights at once or buy them individually? Oh, this is such a great question. Okay, so research has actually shown that when you are booking for one person one way, flights are actually more expensive than a round trip. So if it is possible, not only would I encourage you to book not just multiple flights at once, but book them in pairs or multiple. So, like, if you have a girlfriend that you are traveling with to another friend's wedding or whatever, like, book it as a pair. Yes, that does create a little bit more logistical planning, but, like, you might actually be able to save money. The reason for this is when these, like, search Algorithms for these airlines see a single person booking a one way. The assumption is that is a business trip, like a business travel trip and because of that they think those travelers are less price sensitive. So they're going to show you a slightly higher rate. That said booking a round trip or booking two people or whatever, it is less seen as business travel. And so you're going to get essentially what is considered a consumer out of pocket rate. So I would say if you need the flexibility, if you are booking on multiple different airlines, if you just are worried about needing to change one of the legs, it's easier to book one way tickets individually. But if you're pretty dead set on going, if you're sure about the dates, if you're sure about the details, it likely is cheaper to book with multiple people and multiple different legs versus booking individually. Question number six, Any tips for wedding guest packing without buying a check in suitcase? When I tell you I am the gold medalist at packing just a carry on because my husband is a dictator, we will go on vacation for two weeks and this man will look me dead in the eye and say no checked bag bags. So here are my tips. Okay, first off, you want to make sure you already know what you're wearing before you go. I know so many girls that are like oh well I need options. No, no, no, no. There are no options. You should have literally a lookbook made of this is what I'm wearing Friday night, this is what I'm wearing Saturday, this is what I'm wearing Sunday. When you have those already done, you don't have to bring nearly as much stuff on top of that I would say I know it's less sexy, but your personal item being a backpack actually allows you to pack a lot more in the personal item because I'm assuming you're able to bring on a personal item and a roller bag. Packing cubes. Super helpful. Making sure that if you are wearing shoes like that are healed, you're packing them in a way that's space saving, rolling your clothes instead of folding them. All of these are great strategies to save room. But I think the biggest tip I really just have is like knowing what you're going to wear for every single event. I just can't tell you. I know girls who will check a bag for like a long weekend and it's because they have four different dresses that are potentials for whatever they're feeling in the moment for that Friday night dinner. I don't do that. I already know what I'm wearing and frankly it just takes a lot of the headache out in advance. This is something that I actually learned from a stylist that I work with. She prints me out a PDF of everything that I'm wearing for every single day. Because when I'm traveling for a tour, like my book tour, I don't have a lot of room and I don't have time to be checking a bag because what if they lose it? Then I don't have the outfit for that night. So she has taught me to be really, really surgical about about how to re wear basics, how to make sure that my clothes are folded in a way that like allows the suitcase to close and just really knowing exactly what you're going to wear for every single occasion. And here's the hot tip. If you are going to an event with a bunch of other friends, maybe you guys can mix and match pieces so that you can create new clothes. I don't know what it is about something that is my friend's like clothing. It just looks so much cuter on me and I want to wear her clothes and she wants to wear mine and that's totally okay too.

B (25:23)

Question number seven.

A (25:24)

The cost of getting ready. Hair, nails, makeup, tan, lashes, adds up. Any tips for saving on beauty costs? Yeah, first and foremost, I read this study that literally rewired my brain. The average woman over the course of her lifetime spends the equivalent of tuition

B (25:40)

at Harvard on beauty.

A (25:41)

You could have gone to Harvard. Harvard cost like 300 grand for four years. That's crazy. I'm mad that I would have spent that much in my lifetime. For many of us, we want to look really special for certain moments. But those costs are extraordinary, especially if you have back to back to back weddings. So what I will say is for things that you can DIY do it yourself for things that really do require a little bit more, I would say of a professional touch budget for those. And also some of these providers actually do offer subscription services that are going to save you money. Especially if you know you have like a couple months stretch where you're going to be getting a lot of these things done. I know places like like Dry Bar have like a subscription where you know you can get two blowouts a month. And that way if you know for a fact that you have two weddings, that's great. You get a cheaper rate per blowout. Paintbox in New York is a nail place where you can get two manicures a month and you get a discounted rate because you're like prepaying makeup, hair like glam squad. They are on on demand service. It's like, you know, you can book makeup and all of this stuff. Like on demand. They also have a subscription service. I know some tanning places do subscription services. I am not a big fan of getting subscriptions to things that consistently use, but if you know you're going to need it for three months over the summer, it's not a bad idea, especially if you're already planning on getting those services done.

B (27:02)

Question number eight.

A (27:03)

Any advice for getting cheap travel and hotel upgrades? So I would say for flights what I like to do is I always book an economy ticket and then closer to the actual flight date, I will see if they're offering any sort of upgrades because back in the day, 80% of business class seats were upgrades and 20% were paid. Typically business travelers these days, 80% of business class seats are paid and 20% are free upgrades. So what the airlines have essentially done is created a very competitive and compelling price point for people to upgrade. I typically will upgrade if it is for an international flight less than a hundred dollars per hour that I'm on. Like that, that flight, it could be a very long one. Alternatively, I just know this from institutional knowledge of taking this route so often. But like New York to Miami, if I can get the upgrade from economy to business for less than $175, I'm taking it because it's a great deal. I get a meal out of it and I get to be a lot more comfortable for three and a half hours. Upgrading at the last minute is more often than not way cheaper than buying a business class seat outright. So I think that's a really great way to do it. Same thing with hotels. Many hotels, if you ask when you arrive, hey, are there any sort of upgrades available? They'll give you a discount to upgrade because it's the day of and they already haven't sold the room. Even better, if you tell them it's a special occasion, they may upgrade you for free. I'm not going to name names, but there are definitely a number of hotel chains that all think my husband and my anniversary is different days because we lied. That's fine. Little white lie never hurt anybody. But ye I think making it a special moment, a birthday, a anniversary, like just it give people a reason to give you an upgrade. Be incredibly nice. I know for my bachelorette party we showed up to the hotel in Vegas and I was like, are there any upgrades available? And they offered me an upgrade to a mega suite on like the gazillionth floor for an additional, like $200. And it was just because that room wasn't booked. It ended up being a really great value and we had a great space for all of the girls to, to like, set up. There was a little kitchen. It was, it was super nice. And I think asking at the last minute can help you get those upgrades for a lot less. Question number nine. I have two options. Traveling alone and potentially spending more or splitting costs with a group of people who I don't really like. What's more worth it? How badly do you want to save this money? Because if I'm honest with you, in my early 20s, I would have traveled with the group that I don't like and saved the money because I wanted to be there for my friend who I did like. But now, at my big old age of 32, no, I'm going alone. I will spend more. I. I don't care. I don't want to spend a single second with somebody I don't like. And I do think weddings are an opportunity to realize that maybe you have more in common with these people than you thought and maybe you could actually build some friendships out of it. But if you know for a fact that you don't like these people, at the end of the day, I think your wellbeing and your emotional feelings about the time you're spending are valuable too. So it really depends how much you don't like them. I would say I could see it both ways. If there's even maybe one person in that group of people who you do like, it could be worth it because then you'd have an ally. But this is more of a philosophical question you gotta ask yourself. How much money would you save traveling with them and how much do you dislike them? And which of those two feelings do you feel more strongly about? Okay. And that is all we have for today. Good luck to all of my besties who are preparing for a busy wedding season coming up. If you have any more questions, let me know in the comments. That's all from me and I'll see you next week. Love ya. Bye.

B (30:42)

Thanks for tuning into this week's episode

A (30:44)

of Net Worth and Chill, part of

B (30:46)

the Vox Media Podcast network. If you like the episode, make sure to leave a rating and review and subscribe so you never miss an episode. Got a burning financial question that you

A (30:55)

want covered in a future episode? Write to us via podcastorrichbff.com follow Net Worth and Chillpod on Instagram to stay up to date on all podcast related news and you can follow me at Rich your Rich BFF for even more financial know how.

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See you next week.

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Bye.

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Support for Net Worth and Chill comes from Adobe. For a long time, turning something into

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