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Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning
Willpower Is Limited: Build the Brain That Gets Things Done PART 2 Review with Friederike Fabritius
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Welcome Back to season 14 of the Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast where we connect the science based evidence behind social and emotional learning and emotional intelligence training for improved well being, achievement, productivity and results using what I saw as the missing link since we weren't taught this when we were growing up in school, the Application Practical Neuroscience I'm Andrea Samadhi and seven years ago launched this podcast with a question that I've never truly asked myself before. And that is if productivity and results matter to us, and they do now more than ever, how exactly are we using our brain to make them happen? And most of us were never taught how to apply neuroscience to improve productivity, our results or our well being. About a decade ago, I became fascinated by the Mind brain results connection and how science can be applied to our everyday lives. And that's why I've made it my mission to bring you the world's top experts so together we can explore the intersection of science and social and emotional learning. We'll break down complex ideas and turn them into practical strategies we can use for predictable science backed results. And as we kick off season 14, I've been revisiting past episodes and reflecting on the incredible insights that our guests shared since we first launched in 2019. So as we dive into this review of our past conversations, know that this review isn't just for you, it's for me as well. I've learned that slowing down helps us to uncover even more wisdom and I'm excited for us to walk this path together for Today's episode number 374. We continue our journey into our mind and our brain with part two of our interview review with neuroscientist Frederica Fabricius, who we covered on Our last episode 373 and her book the Leading Brain. Today we're reviewing a topic that we've covered a few times on this podcast, willpower, that Frederica says is limited and that she tries not to waste on people and processes that are just not worth it.
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Willpower is limited. So I try to not waste my willpower on useless things and people and processes that are just not worth it. So. So to a certain degree I try to simplify my life. I have five kids, I have a career, I write books. So in order to manage all of that, I say no to almost everything else. So that is a way, because if I, you know, if I say yes to everything and I do this and I do this and I do this, by the end of the day I'm exhausted. If I then sit down at my desk and try to write on my book, Imagine the result will be a disaster because then my willpower is already depleted and then I just feel like collapsing on my couch. So. So you need to be wise about, you know, not wasting your willpower on things that are not worth it.
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And on episode 294, Beyond Our Five Senses, we explored how to develop and use this important mental faculty of willpower. I find all six faculties of our minds fascinating, but the will is one of my favorites. It's what I'm using right now. So sitting at my desk on a Saturday to stay focused long enough to write this episode, your will gives you the ability to concentrate. It helps you to hold a thought on the screen of your mind or choose thoughts of success over thoughts of failure. With a highly developed will, you can lock into a task, block out distractions, and accomplish what it is that you set out to do. We also looked at willpower on episode 344 recently with the Neuroscience of Building Stronger Minds and Teams, where we explored how grit and mental toughness relate to the new research from Dr. Andrew Huberman. His work shows what happens in the brain when we develop strong willpower. The same kind of strength that we need to overcome adversity. Or as Frederica describes, to sit down and write a book after a long day. This discovery even made one of the world's leading neuroscientists jump out of his chair. And I was right there with him with excitement. I can still remember exactly where I was when I wrote my notes about this on my cell phone notepad when I learned this brain fact. Did you know that there's a part of the brain called the anterior mid cingulate cortex? And it's not just one of the centers of willpower. Scientists believe it may hold the secret to the will to live. And this region increases in size when we do things we don't want to do, like adding exercise when we'd rather rest, or resisting foods that we really enjoy. Or think about the tasks in your day to day life that you'd rather skip over when you do them anyway. You're actually strengthening and growing this part of your brain. Some key points to think about with our willpower. Willpower is limited. Use it wisely. Frederica explains that willpower depletes throughout the day. Simplifying life and saying no to unnecessary things helps to conserve mental energy for what truly matters. And I always say to fiercely protect your energy. And beware of what many would call energy leaks that directly impact our Willpower. We also learned that the will is one of the six faculties of the mind. We covered this originally on episode 294. Beyond our five senses, the will allows us to concentrate, choose thoughts of success, and block out distractions or other limiting thoughts that might occasionally creep into our minds. We looked at the neuroscience of willpower with Dr. Andrew Huberman's research that shows that developing willpower strengthens brain regions involved in resilience and grit. It's actually a part called the anterior mid cingulate cortex that's linked to willpower and even the will to live. And this brain area grows when we do things we don't want to do, like exercising or resisting temptation. Now, let's make it personal. Think about where you use your willpower to stay focused on a task. Like I explained how, I have to use my own willpower to sit at my desk on a Saturday to write this episode. This demonstrates willpower in real time, and it makes the science relatable for all of us. What are some practical tips to develop this faculty of our mind, our willpower? First, practice deliberate focus. Meditation strengthens your will, as does a simple candle gazing exercise, or staring at the flame of a candle until you and the flame become one. And I tried this in my late twenties after a few hours of focus, and then I could finally, in this exercise, feel my attention expand beyond distractions. Developing this faculty takes time and patience. But once you master it, you'll know that you can sit, focus, and block out the outside world and accomplish anything. Another practical tip, do challenging, difficult things that you don't want to do. Every time you push yourself through discomfort, you're strengthening your anterior mid cingulate cortex and in turn your will to actually live. And this part of the brain is larger in athletes and, and it will increase in size with deliberate challenge. And I urge us all to think about this. Do you think you push through challenge or often do things that are difficult? Do you think you have a highly developed willpower? If the answer is yes, keep working on it, strengthening and developing it. Because this part of the brain, Dr. Huberman noted, will keep its size in those people who live a very long time. Moving on to video clip 2. In this second clip, Frederica explains why it's so important to understand the reward system in our brain. She said, with my kids, I don't give them everything right away. It's tempting because you see their happy faces, but it's best not to do that because it throws off the reward system in their brain. They need to Work for things, for it to work out.
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With my kids, I don't give them everything right away. It's tempting. You know, we live in a society with so many, you know, you feel like I could buy them a present every day, I could give them chocolate every day. It's tempting because you see their happy faces. But it's best not to do that because it will throw off the reward system in their brain and they need to learn that they need to work for things to work out. If you give them everything, you ruin their prefrontal cortex. And then later in life when you're not there anymore, they will expect the same from their surroundings. And that's the difficult.
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Her comment reminded me of our interview with Stanford University's Dr. Anna Lembke, the author of the book Dopamine Nation that we covered on episode 162 where she shared her 30 day dopamine fast designed to help us to reset the brain's reward pathways. Especially when, as Frederica mentioned, our prefrontal cortex has been flooded with dopamine. When Frederica said this in the interview, it really hit home for me. None of us willingly want to flood our kids brains with dopamine, but without understanding how the brain's reward system works, I realized I was doing exactly that with both my kids at the time of the interview. Thank goodness. There's a simple and science backed way to reset the brain. Like with Dr. Anna Lemke's 30 day dopamine fast. She uses the acronym dopamine to reset our brains. D is data. What are you using, how much and how often? O is the objectives. What does it do for you? P is the problems. What are the downsides of using this? A is abstinence. Can you stop using what you're doing for a month and see what happens? M is mindfulness. Be prepared to feel worse before you feel better. I is insight. Notice what you learn when you stop. N is next steps. Can you move forward without the behavior? And E is experiment. Go back into the world and see what works for you. I used to bribe my kids when they were little with small pieces of chocolate. If I needed them to get into the car quickly, I would say get into the car and I'll give you a little piece of chocolate. Not realizing what I was doing to the reward system in their brain because I was doing this. Often when we know better, we can do better. As parents, Frederica reminds us that understanding that we in fact can flood our children's brains with dopamine without realizing it brings us back to the importance of this understanding of the application of simple neuroscience in our daily lives. If there's something you want to change in your life, try going without it for 30 days and observe what happens. As Dr. Lembke notes, even when moderation is possible, many people find it easier and more freeing just to choose abstinence in the long run. So some key points to understanding the reward system and dopamine regulation. Frederica talks about how giving children everything can throw off their brain's reward system. It's important for kids to work for rewards to strengthen their prefrontal cortex and build resilience. Then we found the connection to Dr. Anna Lemke's work in her book Dopamine Nation where she talks about the 30 day dopamine fast to help reset the brain's reward pathways. The goal is to restore balance in the brain's dopamine system. We reviewed the dopamine acronym for a way to eliminate something you're doing that's flooding your brain. Try to do a 30 day break from something that you rely on, maybe social media, maybe sugar, and observe how your brain and mood respond. And some parenting insights that really hit home for me. Parents can unintentionally flood their children's brains with dopamine through constant rewards or treats. Applying simple neuroscience can help promote patience, motivation and long term emotional regulation. So as we wrap up episode 374 and part two of our review of episode 27 with Frederica Fabriciis, we covered two key areas of the brain that we can strengthen with awareness and practice. Clip number one, we talked about the neuroscience of willpower. We looked at Dr. Andrew Huberman's research showing that developing willpower strengthens brain regions involved in resilience and grit. We covered the fact that it's actually the anterior mid cingulate cortex that's linked to willpower and even the will to live. And this brain area grows when we do things we don't want to do, like exercising or resisting temptation. We looked at two tips to develop our willpower. First, practice deliberate focus. Meditation strengthens your will. And so does a simple candle gazing exercise. Staring at a flame until your attention and the flame become one. And second, do challenging things that you don't want to do. And every time you push through discomfort, you strengthen that part of your brain, your anterior mid cingulate cortex and your will to live. Then clip two, we looked at understanding the reward system and dopamine regulation. Frederica reminds us that giving children everything they want can can throw off their brain's reward system. Kids need to work for rewards and strengthen their prefrontal cortex and build resilience and this connects with Dr. Anna Lemke's research from her book Dopamine Nation where she outlines a 30 day dopamine fast to reset the brain's reward pathways when they've been overstimulated by constant pleasure or instant gratification and a practical application. Try a 30 day break from something you rely on social media, sugar or shopping and see how your brain and mood respond. I hope these two review clips help us all to rethink ways to strengthen our willpower and reset our brain's reward system as we move into a strong final quarter of 2025. And I'll see you next week as we revisit Dr. John Ratey's work that focuses on exercise in our brain. See you next time.
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