John Drabinski (3:17)
So I was thinking about this. I mean, there's a short version, there's a very long version, because I can talk for a long time, as any of my students can attest, but I'll try to give a sort of more medium length version. I have had a kind of quirky intellectual journey. I did my PhD in Philosophy at University of Memphis, wrote my dissertation on Emmanuel Levinas in classical phenomenology with Robert Bernasconi, and trained really in post World War II Jewish philosophy, post structuralism. And when I finished my dissertation, I had a postdoctoral fellowship at Florida Atlantic University. And that allowed me to finish my book manuscript, which was my dissertation revised. And like most people finishing their first book, I came across that existential experience that no one warns you about, which is, what am I going to do next? And I had settled on a project on Post World War II Cinema, Jewish Cinema or cinema about the Holocaust. Right. Particularly around Claude Lanzmann's film Show Up. And I was interested in questions of trauma and loss and how cinema could be an intervention in these kinds of questions, the sort of postmodern paradoxes about representation and absence and how trauma and particularly the disaster of the Holocaust or shape those questions. And I gave a talk at a conference in Lima, Peru. And after I got done, I happened to be sitting next to Salomon Lerner, who was one of the conveners of the conference, later became the lead commissioner of the Peruvian Truth and Reconciliation Commission. So Philosophy PhDs and Professors can goes places in this world. He's a Cotton Heidegger scholar. But we were sitting and we were talking and he started asking me questions about why I got into this project. And, you know, are you European? Did you lose family in the Holocaust? And, you know, my answers to this were no. Like, my family's from Los Angeles, very West coast, you know, don't have any sort of relationship to European roots at all. And. And, you know, it was interesting that he was asking me these questions. It was making me sort of think about, like, why? Why do these things interest me? But then he said this thing being very generous, sort of like your prodigious talents, type of, you know, puff up your. He says, have you ever thought about bringing your talents as a thinker and writer to the Americas? Because that very name, America, is synonymous with trauma and loss. And we have all been reckoning with what it means to live on for hundreds of years after this trauma and loss. And then we just moved on with dinner. I had had a scheduled trip just by myself down through Bolivia and Uruguay. And so I took this two week long trip by myself and I couldn't stop thinking about. And I got back to Florida Atlantic University and I sat down with the reference librarian and I just said, could you generate a list on the black Americas and philosophy or things that are theoretical starting from the beginning? Because I did a great books program in college, and that's how I. How I think about how you learn and how you learn traditions. You start with the first and then you end with the most recent. And just a wonderful person at the library, you know, he's like, this is what I'm trained for. And generated this massive bibliography. And I really started what was a sort of 10 to 14 year reading project of reading every day, reading multiple books a week to learn the black intellectual tradition. And that had real effects. I taught for a few years in philosophy departments and then moved to Hampshire College, where I was teaching an interdisciplinary department. You know, they don't have departments, they have schools of thought. And then ended up at Amherst College in the Black studies department for many years. And my initial sort of focus, and still to this day, my primary focus in that reading project, in learning the black intellectual tradition in the Americas, was a Francophone tradition. And that was for a couple of reasons. There's an affinity I have for this hyperbole and intensity of Francophone thought, wherever it is. Something about the character, something about the tradition, both in Africa, the Caribbean and in Europe. I love its hyperbole, its exaggeration, its grandeur. I was really drawn to that. And also a more practical thing, which is I knew if I was going to keep writing in the United States, if I was working with untranslated materials, there would always be a place for me to publish this stuff. But I started getting interested in more Anglophone, Caribbean and African American thought. And while I was at the black, in the Black Studies department at Amherst College, I shared an office with my late colleague and friend Jeff Ferguson. And he was always saying, you know, we talk about ideas and we talk about lots of things to talk about music and boxing and. But we. When we talked about ideas, he was. He used to always say he was an African American specialist, mid century, sort of Ellison, Richard Wright. Baldwin used to always say, all your questions are answered by James Baldwin. You need to read him. And I had read a few things here and there, but I just spent one summer. I was just like, you know what, Jeff? You know, I'm gonna get you off my back. Like, I'm just gonna read the price of the ticket. I'm gonna read the entire collected non. And I read it cover to cover very quickly because I just became completely enthralled by Baldwin and his prose and his real hesitating style. There was something that I felt deeply connected to, and I thought he had some absolutely enigmatic insights that went well beyond some of the more quotable aspects of Baldwin's work. And I came back and had to sort of begrudgingly admit to Jeff that actually most of my questions were answered in Baldwin. Baldwin. He never let me forget it. I mean, I think one of the last times I talked to him, he was like, when you finishing that book on Baldwin? Because remember how I told you dedicated the book to him, obviously for that reason. And so I taught a couple of Baldwin seminars at Amherst College. And I just thought, you know, I think there's a book project here. I spent a year at the Du Bois Institute, then the Du Bois Institute, now the Hutchins center at Harvard. And I just spent that that year. And I wrote a couple drafts of a couple of chapters. I published a couple of articles on Baldwin, and I had this book sort of 2/3 of the way written, and I just sat on it for seven, eight years. And sitting on an almost completed book manuscript is, I think, kind of the definition of full professor extravagance. Nothing urgent, but I wanted to get the book right. It's up to readers to figure out if I got it right. But I wanted to teach Baldwin a lot more. And then when I got to University of Maryland in fall of 2021, I taught us a class on Baldwin. And the students, they just really. I was really struck by their brilliance. The students here are just really smart undergraduates. And I was like, they seem to think that this is a really interesting way to talk about the world, not about James Baldwin, because what do they. This is their introduction to Baldwin. What do they know about that? But they were like, this is such an Interesting way to talk about the world. And I just recommitted to the. The book and really just plowed my way through it. And it's my first book that is exclusively on English language sources, by the way. It goes a lot quicker if you don't have to go back and check translations. But also I thought coming back to that story with Salomon in Lima, it's like, this is my first time talking about where I'm from, the United States. And there's something very significant about that that I also wanted to get it right because I thought I'm really taking him up on his challenge to put these questions of trauma, loss, and what it means that life goes on at my very front doorstep rather than even across the Caribbean or across the Atlantic. And so there's an intimacy to the book. I'm not African American, but Baldwin is speaking to the very foundations and foundational traumas and wound the nation. And I was like, this is right at my doorstep. And I wanted to get it right. And so I took a lot of time with it. I think it's a lot shorter than it would have been if I had just written it when I wanted to first to write it. But hopefully it's better because of that.