Podcast Summary
New Books Network: K.J. Aiello, "The Monster and the Mirror: Mental Illness, Magic, and the Stories We Tell" (ECW Press, 2024)
Host: Holly Gattery
Guest: K.J. Aiello
Date: February 20, 2026
Episode Overview
This episode features an insightful conversation between Holly Gattery and K.J. Aiello about Aiello’s new book, The Monster and the Mirror: Mental Illness, Magic, and the Stories We Tell. Blending memoir, cultural criticism, and literary analysis, Aiello’s work investigates how stories—especially those of fantasy and magic—shape our understanding of mental illness. The discussion delves deeply into literary tropes, the personal experience of living with mental illness, the therapeutic potential of writing, and the complexities of family relationships.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Origins of “The Monster and the Mirror”
- Returning to Childhood and Fantasy (04:28–07:32)
- The idea for the book was sparked during a creative writing class, when Aiello realized they wanted to "give yourself permission... to be okay being a child again."
- Early experiences with fantasy and fan fiction became a touchstone for exploring mental illness.
- Aiello also drew inspiration from rage at the trope of "madness as violence," notably in Game of Thrones with Daenerys’s fate.
- Quote (K.J. Aiello, 04:28):
“I don't like this idea that mental illness and violence are inextricable because it's not true… And I got. I probably unreasonably angry. I was just seething. So I started rage writing.”
2. The Role of Enchantment and Possibility
- Childlike Belief as Resilience (07:32–10:13)
- Both Aiello and Gattery reflect on the necessity of regaining a sense of magic and possibility, especially during difficult times.
- Aiello:
“What is true and what is real are not necessarily the same thing… There are intangible things in our world that maybe we're not meant to understand. But there's something about that that I can hold on to that helps get me through.”
3. Structure and Visual Presentation of the Book
- Memoir Meets Cultural Criticism (10:13–15:52)
- The book balances memoir vignettes and critical essays, visually differentiated by font.
- The memoir sections were the easiest for Aiello to write, but merging them with analytical chapters was a challenge.
- Intent was for the personal stories to “illustrate” the themes argued in the analysis.
- Quote (K.J. Aiello, 13:31):
“That was one of the hardest things about writing this book, because I was writing as two completely different people… Those are actually the easiest parts to write... But when I was writing them, I was always cognizant of trying to keep it all together in one conversation.”
4. Catharsis, Therapy, and the Memoirist’s Task
- Writing for the Self Before the Reader (18:40–24:28)
- Aiello distinguishes therapeutic writing from publishable memoir, advocating for "enough psychological space between you as the author...and you as the person experiencing that."
- The drafting process was cathartic; revision was for the reader.
- Editors can help writers excavate deeper layers, pushing beyond diary-like entries to something more universally meaningful.
- Quote (K.J. Aiello, 18:40):
“The first draft was. I was writing for me. It was filled with passion... The revisions process, I was revising for my readers, so I was taking out. There was a lot of rage writing in there, let me tell you.”
5. Writing Complex Family Relationships with Compassion
- Grace & Honesty Without Malice (25:50–30:47)
- Aiello’s depiction of family—especially their mother—deliberately balances honesty with compassion.
- The aim was to portray parents as flawed people shaped by their own traumas, not simply as villains or victims.
- Aiello chose to break communication with family, but still approached their stories with empathy.
- Quote (K.J. Aiello, 27:02):
“I needed to find that compassion for the woman [my mother]... not as my family, but as people and why they did what they did... They deserved better and they never got it. But that's also not my fault or my responsibility as their daughter.”
6. The Visceral Nature of Mental Illness on the Page
- Mental Illness as Physicality (35:17–39:44)
- Aiello’s writing is celebrated for its sensory, corporeal descriptions of mental illness.
- Mental illness, for many, is first experienced physically, not just mentally.
- Quote (K.J. Aiello, 37:06):
“The first thing that I notice when I'm becoming unwell mentally is it's in my body... I feel things in my body a lot. And... the only way to truly understand someone living with mental illness is to understand what it feels like.”
7. Ongoing and Future Work
- What's Next for Aiello (41:19–43:00)
- Aiello is juggling multiple projects, including their podcast The Book Cook and finishing an MFA thesis.
- Season 2 of The Book Cook launches in April.
- The audiobook of The Monster and the Mirror is narrated by Aiello.
Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes
-
On Fantasy, Mental Health, and Agency:
“Growing up... magical stories of dragons and wizards... were both a balm and an escape, a safe place where the reality of KJ's struggle with mental illness could transform into a strength.”
— Holly Gattery (02:24) -
On Intergenerational Harm:
“You can't write... really trashed some awful people in my life, but I didn't because... understanding can go a long way... in actually stopping intergenerational harm.”
— K.J. Aiello (24:28) -
On Writing and Therapy:
“A lot of creative nonfiction, a lot of memoir writing, can start as a journal entry because you're getting the nuggets... Maybe there's a remembrance, ‘oh, I can pull that out and I can make this into an essay.’”
— K.J. Aiello (18:40) -
On Compassion in Memoir:
“I was generous with the woman, my mother, the person. As a mother, I have my feelings... but I needed to find that compassion... to understand why she did what she did and why she was the way she was.”
— K.J. Aiello (27:02) -
On Creative Community:
“I was couch rotting one day... and thought, ‘I should start a podcast.’ And now here we are... I've had some wonderful conversations with the most incredibly talented, beautiful people.”
— K.J. Aiello (41:19)
Key Timestamps
- [02:24] Introduction to themes of fantasy and mental illness
- [04:28] K.J. Aiello on origins of the book
- [09:03] Magic, truth, and managing despair
- [10:13] Structuring the book visually and thematically
- [13:31] Balancing memoir with criticism
- [18:40] Memoir, catharsis, and finding distance
- [25:50] Writing family with honesty and grace
- [30:47] Aiello reads from the book: “The Druid and His Daughter”
- [35:17] Discussion of visceral writing style
- [41:19] What Aiello is currently working on
Further Information
- The Monster and the Mirror is available wherever books are sold.
- The audiobook, narrated by Aiello, is also available.
- For more conversations with fantasy writers, check out Aiello’s podcast, The Book Cook (new season in April).
This episode skillfully intertwines the deeply personal with the literary, offering profound insights into both the politics and the lived reality of mental illness, all through the transformative lens of the stories we tell ourselves and each other.