Podcast Summary: “Finding Mr. Perfect: K-Drama, Pop Culture, Romance, and Race” with Dr. Min Joo Lee

Podcast: New Books Network
Host: Dr. Miranda Melcher
Guest: Dr. Min Joo Lee, Assistant Professor of Asian Studies at Occidental College
Date: January 18, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode features an interview with Dr. Min Joo Lee about her book, Finding Mr. Perfect: K-Drama, Pop Culture, Romance, and Race (Rutgers University Press, 2025). The book examines the intersections of Korean television romance dramas, international “Hallyu” (“Korean Wave”) tourism, and the complex ways in which global pop culture shapes understandings of romance, masculinity, and race. Dr. Lee explores how depictions of Korean men in media inspire foreign women to seek romance in Korea, and analyzes both the fantasies and real-world experiences that arise, as well as their implications for race, gender, and intercultural dynamics.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Genesis of the Book & Personal Motivation

• Dr. Min Joo Lee, a lifelong fan of K-dramas, originally intended to research fandom spaces but shifted focus to the dynamics between fans and local individuals, i.e., Korean men, rather than just fandom tourism to filming locations.
  • “I have personally been always a fan of Korean television dramas, especially romantic ones...I thought that it was going to be more interesting for me to talk about how these fans interacted with individuals, local individuals, as opposed to the spaces.” (Dr. Lee, 02:50)

2. Defining “Hallyu” (Korean Wave)

• Hallyu refers to the global proliferation of Korean popular culture, encompassing not only TV dramas, but also music (K-pop), film, fashion, cosmetics, etc.
• The Korean government and industry played a significant role post-1997 Asian financial crisis, choosing popular culture as an export and a tool for soft power.
  • “Hallyu is...the transnational popularity of Korean popular culture...driven by dual forces of fans, of course, and then also the Korean government and the industry.” (Dr. Lee, 04:24)

3. Core Research Questions

• What is it about K-dramas’ depictions of romance and masculinity that moves women from diverse backgrounds to seek Korean men as romantic partners?
• Do these women escape or reinforce Orientalist stereotypes about Asian men?
• What are the consequences of these racialized erotic desires, especially for Korean men’s mental health?
  • “Do these women, the Hallyu tourists, manage to escape Orientalist epistemologies, or are their desires a new form of Orientalism?” (Dr. Lee, 07:36)

4. Governmental Role in Shaping Hallyu Tourism

• The Korean government (central and regional) actively invests in promoting cultural tourism for both financial and political reasons, to foster economic gain and "rebrand" South Korea internationally.
• Example: Taebaek, a former mining town, became a tourist hub after a hit K-drama filmed there, illustrating government and local policies at work.
  • “Politicians...foster tourism to their own region...to encourage tourism to their area. And this makes the place at least temporarily feel very cosmopolitan...” (Dr. Lee, 09:29)
  • “The Korean government wants to facilitate soft power...to change Korea’s image from one that’s focused on ...conflict with North Korea...to one that shows South Korea as a place that's filled with romance potentially, and...catchy music...” (Dr. Lee, 10:55)

5. Evolving Tropes of Masculinity in K-Drama

• Traditional (1990s): Stoic, militaristic, emotionally reserved breadwinners, compared to more recent portrayals.
• Contemporary: Emotionally open, verbally expressive, sensitive, sexually restrained yet romantic and caring.
  • “Back in the days...masculinities...used to be more like a stereotypically stoic and traditional...who are breadwinners...very silent and stoic...”
  • “...in the 2010s and 2020s...They'd be more emotionally attuned...verbal about their emotional state...expressive about their love...” (Dr. Lee, 12:19–14:30)
  • Example: Sandglass (1995, stoic masculinity) vs. Descendants of the Sun (2016, emotionally open leads).

6. Formation of Racialized Erotic Desire in Online Fan Spaces

• Online discussions often essentialize “Korean men” using drama-based archetypes, glossing over the diversity of real men.
• Racialized language: Terms like “weak” or “effeminate,” once used disparagingly in Orientalist discourse, are reclaimed as positive in fandom, but their use still carries complicated racial undertones.
  • “They would use terms like weak or effeminate...not as negative connotations...but as positively connoted compliments...” (Dr. Lee, 16:23)

7. Reality of Intercultural Dating Experiences

• Experiences of tourists vary: relationships fare better when women approach Korean men as individuals rather than fantasy archetypes.
• Mismatched expectations sometimes result in awkward or disappointing encounters, e.g., a tourist expecting “K-drama hero” encounters a man interested in a one-night stand.
  • “Some had wonderful dates...especially if [they] approached the men as individuals rather than as reflections of the K drama's fictional masculinity...” (Dr. Lee, 18:32)
  • “...she soon realized...the guy was potentially more interested in a one night stand...” (Dr. Lee, 19:22)

8. Korean Men’s Perspectives and Adaptive Performances

• Many Korean men initially express disbelief (“cognitive dissonance”) at being the object of foreign women’s desires, due to prevailing stereotypes.
• Some begin to consciously “perform” the traits they believe foreign women want, leading to phenomena like the “Hongdae boys,” who present a romantic front but may in reality seek more casual relationships.
  • “There was a Korean man who was invited to a tourist...birthday party...he thought that he was so unpopular among foreign women...he just could not wrap his mind around the fact that that was the case.” (Dr. Lee, 21:12)
  • “...Hongdae boy meme refers to how...a lot of Korean men...are now approaching foreign women...claiming that they're...romantic and emotionally attuned...but then...actually desiring...something different.” (Dr. Lee, 22:40)

9. Surprising Findings and Memorable Moments

• Persistence: Despite multiple failed attempts, many foreign women persist in seeking the “Mr. Perfect” of their K-drama-inspired dreams, motivated by negative experiences with “toxic masculinity” in their home countries.
• Many women report learning self-defense due to negative experiences at home, hoping to find “perfect” masculinity in Korea—a testament to how deeply media images can shape real-world behaviors and aspirations.
  • “...despite the multiple failures that some of them had, they would not be discouraged at all. And they would say that they are going to try harder next time...” (Dr. Lee, 25:07)
  • “...there were unanimously also these women were talking about experiences with toxic masculinity back in their home countries, which was one of the main motivations for them to travel to Korea...” (Dr. Lee, 25:55)
  • “...they genuinely felt like they could find the perfect men in Korea because they felt like the Korean television dramas must be a reflection of reality in some sense.” (Dr. Lee, 26:45)

10. Future Research Directions

• Dr. Lee intends to continue exploring digital culture, toxic masculinity, and gender—specifically digital sexual crime and censorship in the Korean context.
• She remains engaged in research on K-pop, hallyu, and media-fan dynamics, involving undergraduate students as co-researchers.
  • “...my next book project would potentially be on the intersection of digital technology and sex crime and censorship in Korean context...But that doesn't mean that I stopped researching Korean popular culture and hallyu related topics...” (Dr. Lee, 27:29)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Do these women, the Hallyu tourists, manage to escape Orientalist epistemologies, or are their desires a new form of Orientalism?” — Dr. Min Joo Lee, 07:36
• “Back in the days...the types of masculinities...used to be more like a stereotypically stoic and traditional form of patriarchal masculinity...But of course, that changed.” — Dr. Min Joo Lee, 12:22
• “Some had wonderful dates...if [they] approached the men as individuals rather than as reflections of the K-drama's fictional masculinity.” — Dr. Min Joo Lee, 18:32
• “There was a Korean man who was invited to a tourist Hayu tourist birthday party...he thought that he was so unpopular among foreign women...” — Dr. Min Joo Lee, 21:12
• “I was very intrigued and surprised by how driven some of the women that I interviewed were in finding the, quote, unquote, Mr. Perfect...” — Dr. Min Joo Lee, 25:07

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:50] Genesis of the research and personal background
• [04:24] Explanation and history of the “Hallyu” phenomenon
• [07:36] Research questions and the Orientalism problem
• [09:29] The role of Korean government and regional politics in culture tourism
• [12:19] Shifting tropes of masculinity in K-drama
• [15:45] How online fan spaces racialize erotic desire
• [18:28] Real-life dating experience and expectations vs. reality
• [20:53] Korean men’s perspectives and the “Hongdae boy” phenomenon
• [24:49] Surprising findings: persistence of foreign women’s search and motivations
• [27:28] Dr. Lee’s upcoming research interests

Conclusion

Dr. Min Joo Lee’s Finding Mr. Perfect offers nuanced analysis of how global pop culture—via the Korean Wave—reshapes understandings of romance, masculinity and racial dynamics, carrying real-world consequences for individuals in cross-cultural encounters. The podcast episode dives into societal, governmental, and personal layers of this phenomenon, offering rich stories and critical analysis for anyone interested in media, gender, and contemporary global culture.