New Rory & MAL — Episode 470 | "Label Madness" (March 20, 2026)

Overview

In this episode, Rory, Mal, and Damaris deliver new stories, laughs, and the type of animated, authentic conversation that defines the New Rory & Mal brand. The group dives into a bracket-style debate to decide the greatest rap label of all time, drawing inspiration from NCAA March Madness. Along the way, they tackle topics like sports upsets, concert ticket chaos, the evolution of music culture, and plenty of tangents about fights, challenges, and flow-state driving. The show wraps with banter on Paradise (the Hulu series), upcoming trips, and playful, unfiltered, and honest moments—a staple of the pod.

Key Topics & Discussions

1. Getting into Fight Stances & Childhood Challenges

Timestamps: 03:00 – 09:45

• The episode kicks off with jokes about physical postures and fighting stances, driven by Rory’s bad posture and Mall’s observations on how to tell if someone can fight or not.
  • “I know people don’t know how to fight because when someone says ‘square up,’ they’re actually square.” — Rory (04:00)
• The crew fondly recalls childhood challenges and pranks, including the saltine challenge and “Chubby Bunny” (06:06).
  • Damaris jokes about knowing someone who could excel at the saltine challenge, and the group riffs on “wet mouths” in a hilariously irreverent way.
• A playful, candid discussion follows about sexuality and preferences, including gay stereotypes and oral sex, with typical New Rory & Mal frankness.
  • “There’s gay men that don’t give head... Then what are you doing?” — Mall (08:38)
  • “As progressive as the gay community is, in 2026 if a gay man walked into a gay bar and said ‘I don’t suck dick’ they’d be like, ‘Sir, get out!’” — Rory (09:20)

2. St. Patrick’s Day & NYC / NJ Life

Timestamps: 10:13 – 13:19

• Everyone shares their St. Patrick’s Day experience, with Rory talking about his redheaded daughter being the parade’s unofficial mascot.
  • “She looks like the quintessential Irish – the magazine cover for St. Patrick’s Day.” — Rory (10:44)
• Reflections on what it means to be “white” in America, and thanks to Mondami for being able to reference Irish oppression in a way Rory can’t.
• Banter about the differences between New Jersey and New York IDs, with Jersey IDs described as “fake” looking.

3. Life Abroad & Content Creator Incentives

Timestamps: 13:10 – 14:02

• Damaris considers moving to Dubai thanks to its lucrative creator programs, sparking conversation about global perks for creatives in places like Thailand, Ireland, and Canada.
  • “Ireland’s giving out, like, stipends and stuff. I think, like, 90 grand for people that want to be creators in Ireland.” — Rory (13:30)
• The crew laments America’s lack of arts support, joking “we gotta focus on Iran; way more important than the arts in America.”

4. Sports: March Madness, College Hoops, and Betting

Timestamps: 14:02 – 25:38

• The hosts geek out over the arrival of March Madness, trading predictions, bracket woes, and underdog fantasies.
  • Mall and Rory endorse placing bets with Hard Rock, which sponsors the show.
• Conversation includes:
  • The impact of legendary players on college programs—specifically Carmelo Anthony at Syracuse and the possibility of him coaching (15:03).
  • Mid-major school upsets and bracket busting.
  • Damaris jokingly pledges allegiance to Long Island and Villanova as her bracket picks (20:18, 20:37).
  • The suspension of a star Alabama player for marijuana possession—a teachable moment on weed, athletics, and “buying in bulk” (21:32).
  • The history of drinking, partying, and even performance-enhancing substances in sports.
    • “Ron Artest drinking Hennessy at halftime is the wildest thing of all time.” — Rory (24:02)
  • The absurdity and superstition involved in filling out brackets.
    • “It's always the person picking based on logo or color who wins.” — Rory (18:07)

5. "Label Madness" — The Bracket for Greatest Rap Label

Timestamps: 25:48 – 46:46

• The centerpiece of the episode: constructing a March Madness–style bracket to determine the all-time best rap label.
  • Criteria: roster, cultural/business impact, longevity, music quality, star power, classic albums, hits, sales, chart dominance.
• The group debates fiercely over which labels deserve top seeds, with recurring arguments about East Coast vs. regional bias.
  • Their Top Four No.1 Seeds:
    • Death Row
    • Bad Boy
    • Cash Money (including Young Money)
    • Roc-A-Fella (32:05)
  • Contenders & Debates:
    • Loud Records’ roster is called “insane,” but ultimately a No.2 seed.
    • Discussion whether Def Jam should be included due to its conglomerate status (28:27).
    • Strong arguments for Aftermath/Shady, So So Def, TDE, Rough Riders, No Limit, and QC for top seeds.
    • Lively debate about No Limit vs. Rough Riders—Rough Riders gets the nod due to DMX, the Lox, and Eve.
      • “Not many labels had the impact of DMX, let’s just start there.” — Mall (42:55)
• The group acknowledges they're going to be called biased and don't care.
• Plans to let fans vote on the bracket via social media.
  • “Who do you have winning? I think Cash Money should win.” — Rory (52:14)

6. Concert Ticket Mania & Jay-Z Shows

Timestamps: 52:50 – 66:34

• Jay-Z announces Reasonable Doubt (30th anniversary) and Blueprint (25th anniversary) stadium shows, as well as a Roots Picnic appearance, sparking nostalgia and ticket FOMO.
  • “Jay-Z could do spoken word in right field and it would sell out.” — Rory (53:29)
• Discussions cover the rumored guest list, likely resale price insanity, and the emotional power of classic albums.
• The challenge of navigating ticket demand, with plenty of jokes about hiding in bathrooms or FaceTiming into the show.
• Reflections on aging with Jay-Z’s catalog and the lasting impact of Reasonable Doubt.
  • “That’s like, the album we all grew up on, went to school listening to, grew older still listening to.” — Mall (58:31)
• Speculation about potential new Jay-Z music, surprise guests (e.g., Nas), and setlist structure.
  • “Do we think he’ll bring out anybody to celebrate?” — Rory (16:19)

7. Kanye’s Record-Breaking Ticket Sales & Cancel Culture

Timestamps: 69:00 – 75:24

• The hosts react to unprecedented demand for Kanye’s tour (over a million in queue for tickets) and dismiss the idea that "cancel culture" truly stops artists with a loyal fanbase.
  • “People just want to hear College Dropout or 808s. No one cares what he said on stream.” — Mall (71:13)
  • The team points out that most actual fans rarely try to “cancel” their favorite artists.
• Discourse on the disconnect between online discourse and real-world ticket sales.

8. Music Legacy, Kids, and Family Dynasties

Timestamps: 75:24 – 77:01

• Admiration for the next generation: North West’s forthcoming EP and live performances, Blue Ivy performing with Beyoncé.
  • “It’s just dope to watch the kids get older and grow up, man.” — Mall (76:49)
• Reflections on witnessing icons’ children stepping into the spotlight.

9. New Music Drops & Sonic Influence

Timestamps: 77:11 – 84:11

• Excitement over new music from 6LACK, Georgia Smith, JID, and more—plus speculation that any Georgia Smith musical movement may trigger a surprise Drake drop.
  • “Georgia is the groundhog to Drake’s summer.” — Rory (83:37)
• Discussion of music influence, specifically the sonic overlap between 6LACK and JID, the Atlanta scene, and the lineage of battle rappers evolving into singers.

10. Driving in “Flow State” and Road Trip Soundtracks

Timestamps: 90:01 – 94:23

• Everyone shares their “flow state” songs and albums for driving or unwinding—touchstones include Sade, Miguel, Frank Ocean, Mariah, Jay-Z, and more.
  • “Anything Sade, really, I’m probably not even realizing I’m driving a car.” — Rory (92:29)
  • “Flow state is no traffic… Sometimes you can’t anticipate that.” — Rory (91:13)
• Hilarious digressions about the difference between self-care and suspicious behavior.

11. Crime, Afroman vs The Police, and True Crime Tropes

Timestamps: 94:44 – 101:24

• Conversations about true crime stories, police interviews, and poor criminal covers.
• Applause for Afroman winning a civil case against police who invaded his home, with the pod recommending listeners check out his series of highly specific diss tracks directed at each officer.
  • “Shout out to Afro Man.” — Mall (99:24)

12. Hulu’s "Paradise" & TV Recommendations

Timestamps: 102:14 – 104:46

• Mall and Rory rave about Hulu’s Paradise, asserting it could be among the best TV series after only two seasons due to character complexity and compelling twists.
  • “I’m almost on the side of saying Paradise is easily one of the best shows in TV history.” — Mall (103:36)
• Spoiler-averse Damaris is urged to catch up before the finale drops.

13. Houston Plans, Getting Older, and Social Media Plugs

Timestamps: 105:17 – 108:15

• Damaris prepares for her Houston trip and birthday, lamenting the aging process and being tired all the time.
• The crew jokes that “summertime will change all that,” touching on the joy and spontaneity that comes with warmer weather.

14. Vending Machine Game, Snacks & Jack Harlow Numbers

Timestamps: 108:15 – 114:02

• The group reacts to The Game’s now-infamous DM strategy (using vending machine codes), improvising game lines and clowning the concept.
  • “He has a Rolls Royce white ceiling for all his DMs.” — Rory (108:15)
• They go on a nostalgic trip about favorite vending machine snacks (Famous Amos, Cheez-Its, Fruitopia), and joke about “white cheddar” and “hot white chocolate” being “nasty as ever.”
• Brief discussion of Jack Harlow’s new album's first-week sales (~25k units predicted), contextualizing performance vs. expectations and the music business.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Label Madness:
  “I think Cash Money is the greatest label of all time. If we’re going off what we’re saying here…” — Rory (34:07)
• On Jay-Z’s Legacy:
  “Jay-Z could do spoken word in right field and it would sell out.” — Rory (53:29)
• On Cancel Culture:
  “Nobody cares. Everything that people get outraged about online… it’s always people that never supported you, who wanted to see you canceled anyway.” — Mall (70:24)
• On Afroman’s Lawsuit:
  “Shout out to Afro Man. One of the songs was about him fucking one of the cops’ wives and the guy said it ruined his marriage.” — Rory (99:24)
• On Music Influence:
  “Georgia is the groundhog to Drake’s summer.” — Rory (83:37)

Important Segment Timestamps

• Fight Stance & Childhood Challenges: 03:00 – 09:45
• March Madness Preview/Predictions: 14:02 – 25:38
• "Label Madness" Bracket Debate: 25:48 – 46:46
• Jay-Z Anniversary Shows & Ticket FOMO: 52:50 – 66:34
• Kanye, Cancel Culture, and Touring: 69:00 – 75:24
• Driving Flow State Playlist: 90:01 – 94:23
• True Crime & Afroman vs Police: 94:44 – 101:24
• Paradise (TV) Discussion: 102:14 – 104:46

Final Thoughts

True to form, Rory, Mal, and Damaris bounce between high-spirited, in-depth hip hop debate and whip-smart, irreverent tangents. The “Label Madness” bracket packs both nostalgia and heated argument, sure to spark further debate online as fans vote. Meanwhile, the pod’s playful but pointed looks at music culture, sports, and adulthood ground the conversation and provide trademark laughs. Add in real-life struggles with concert tickets, pop culture breakdowns, and a few viral moments, and you have quintessential New Rory & Mal.