Best of Rory & Mal: Week of 11/3

Summary

New Rory & Mal: “Best of Rory & Mal: Week of 11/3” (Nov 9, 2025) – Detailed Episode Summary

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Episode Overview

This “Best of” episode delivers a blend of music industry discussion, hot takes, personal stories, and signature humor. The hosts, joined by guests including Ms. Pat and friends, dissect changes in the Grammys and Billboard charts, reflect on the evolving music scene, tackle listener questions about dating, and unravel heavier topics with a distinct balance of candor and levity. The show includes both newsworthy commentary and deeply personal moments, filtered through the group’s irreverent, unfiltered style.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Grammy Category Changes & Beyoncé’s Impact (03:43–08:55)

• Premise: The Grammys have decided to split the Country Album category into “Best Contemporary Country Album” and “Best Traditional Country Album,” allegedly following Beyoncé’s historic win as the first Black woman to win Best Country Album.
• Panel Reaction:
  • The group jests about the move indicating further “segregation” in the awards.
  • Ms. Pat quips: “Keep that contemporary country over there… Don’t come over here with Johnny Cash and them. You ain’t Johnny Cash.” (04:39)
• Underlying Critique:
  • They view the change as a reactionary move to Beyoncé’s victory, implying that Black artists’ growing influence in country forced the institution to create separate spaces.
  • Josh: “Black country artists are smoking y’all. So we gotta split it up.” (05:19)
  • They compare it to other genre subcategories, ultimately questioning the intention—are new categories for inclusion or just to maintain the status quo?
• Debate on Genre Splits: While some appreciate genre diversification (e.g., splitting R&B and rap categories), they openly suspect the real motivation behind this specific split.

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2. The State of Music Genres: R&B, Rap, and Grammy Prospects (08:41–11:56)

• Predictions & Standout Artists:

  • Speculation on who will dominate upcoming Grammy nominations, highlighting Leon Thomas, Kehlani, and breakouts like Folded and Mutt.
  • Discussion about how certain singles (like “Folded”) generated massive buzz and numerous remixes (see: Brandy, Tony Braxton, Tank, Mario, Plies, Ne-Yo), fueling debate over how hits are created and what deserves accolades.
  • Rory: “Folded got so crazy that… Brandy, Tony Braxton, Tank, Mario, Plies… have all made Folded remixes. Ne-Yo just volunteered, was like, ‘I want a Folded remix.’” (09:45)

• The Value of Recognition:

  • The group stresses how subgenres give diverse artists more chances for recognition—if done in good faith.

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3. Billboard Hot 100 Rule Changes: Leveling the Playing Field or Participation Trophy? (13:14–22:39)

• New Rules Breakdown (13:25):

  • Songs dropping below #5 after 78 weeks, or below #10 after 52 weeks, are removed from the Hot 100.
  • Ostensibly to make charting fairer and prevent “blockers” from crowding out new acts.
  • Underlying Friction:
    • Josh contends that “everything is scrambling to change because everything is about to change. Bots have ruined everything… Billboard, labels, DSPs… everyone is getting ahead of everything changing.” (13:54)
    • Rory counters, suggesting chart longevity doesn’t necessarily matter to artists after a certain point.
    • Debate over whether these changes are genuine moves toward fairness or band-aids for deeper flaws.
  • Economic Realities: Discussion on how playlisting and label money, not just music quality, influence chart longevity.
  • Memorable Exchange:
    • Ms. Pat: “Are they changing the way artists are paid out, or is that going to remain the same?” (14:01)
    • Josh: “This is socialism.” (19:38)
    • Rory: “No, it’s not because… you have the accolade… after 78 weeks, Brody, how long 78 weeks is?” (19:44)

• Big Artist Conundrum: They cite Taylor Swift as an example of someone who can monopolize top slots, pushing small artists out—regardless of “fairness.”

• Conclusion: Changes may be cosmetic; music industry fairness will always be elusive.

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4. The Current State of Rap in the Charts, Streaming, and Music Business (22:44–26:44)

• Viral Panic: Media panic as no rap songs appear in the Billboard Top 40 (for the first time since 1990).
  • Ms. Pat: “There’s a rap song number 50… they cut it at 40 just because it reads better.” (22:58)
• Industry Dynamics: The hosts argue this is a result of labels withholding marketing dollars from rap—not a dip in quality.
  • Ms. Pat: “Labels are not putting the money behind these rap songs that they once were… rappers care 1000% because this directly affects them and their business with the labels.” (23:44)
• Health of the Genre: Despite concerns, the crew thinks rap is “in a good place” musically.
• Albums vs. Singles: They critique the strategy of dropping only singles, noting that full albums (by superstars like Travis Scott, Drake, Taylor Swift) dominate and shape the charts.

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5. Listener Voicemail: Dating “Losers” and The Search for Love (32:12–39:54)

• Caller Josephine from Amsterdam confides about struggling to find meaningful connections after years of being single and only encountering “losers.”
• Advice Roundtable:
  • Rory: “Everything happens when it’s supposed to… if something isn’t coming to you, it’s just not… the time in your life for it.” (33:55)
  • Josh: “Getting back out there is a volume game… have to keep getting out there.” (34:47)
  • Ms. Pat: “Settling is more like, ‘well, I guess this is it.’” (36:38)
  • They debate the negative connotations behind “settling,” distinguish it from “compromise,” and share anecdotes about self-worth and not tolerating discomfort.
• Memorable Quote:
  • Ms Pat: “If that’s the energy, if it’s like, ‘oh, well, this is’—we don’t have to do this. We can go our separate ways.” (36:52)

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6. Blunt Talk, Candid Comedy & Deep Disclosure: Childhood Trauma & Family Culture (43:03–61:14)

• Sensitive but Unflinchingly Honest Segment:
  • The show veers into deeply personal territory when Josh discusses childhood sexual abuse, prompted by jokes about “blinking.”
    • Ms. Pat’s friend: “I could tell he got child molestation eyes.” (46:30)
    • Josh: “Finally everyone thinks this is me, Ms. Pat. Finally, I’m being seen.” (46:38)
  • Catharsis, Not Just Comedy:
    • Josh and others reflect on the power of humor in healing, stating that the ability to laugh signifies gaining control over trauma.
    • Ms. Pat’s friend shares her own experiences, creating a poignant, powerful, and at times darkly humorous group therapy session.
    • Ms. Pat: “But that is the greatest read I think Rory has ever gotten in his life. I don’t know how you figured all of that out just by him blinking his eyes.” (54:28)
  • Cultural Comparisons:
    • Discussion shifts to how different cultures (especially Black vs. white families) address abuse, talks about “Chester the Molester,” predator reporting, and the role of strong Black mothers.
    • Ms. Pat: “When you bring a woman home, your mom be like, ‘hey, let me tell you, that’s a hoe right there.’” (54:34)
    • They emphasize that direct conversations about predators are more common in the Black community, for protection.
• Notable Quote:
  • Ms. Pat’s Friend: “…when you can laugh about it, that means you have control of it… I could tell something had happened to him because he don’t have no control on his eyelids.” (47:46)
• Real Talk on Generational and Structural Issues: Extended reflection on abuse in all communities; call for verbal openness and accountability.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ms. Pat, on new Grammy categories:
  “Keep that contemporary country over there. Don’t come over here with Johnny Cash and them. You ain’t Johnny Cash.” (04:39)

• Josh, on Black country artists’ success:
  “Black country artists are smoking y’all. So we gotta split it up.” (05:19)

• Ms. Pat, on “Folded” remixes:
  “These Brandy, Brandy, Tony Braxton, Tank, Mario, Plies… have all made Folded remixes. Ne-Yo just volunteered, was like, ‘I want a folded remix.’” (09:45)

• Rory, on Grammy subcategories:
  “I like that there’s a traditional R&B category… now, I know that's not what they're doing here.” (06:05)

• Josh, on why Billboard is changing:
  “Everything is scrambling to change because everything is about to change. Bots have ruined everything…” (13:54)

• Ms. Pat, on career advice:
  “Just continue to make good music. F*** the charts. F*** all that. Great music always pierces through.” (26:44)

• Listener Josephine’s dilemma:
  “I just cannot get over the fact that there’s so many losers in the world… I just see the flaws all the time and I’m just like, ugh. Just makes me icky.” (33:05)

• Ms. Pat’s Friend, on generational trauma:
  “When you can laugh about it, that means you have control of it.” (47:46)

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Important Timestamps

• 03:43 – Grammy country split dissected
• 05:19–08:41 – Critique of industry response, “urban” vs. “real” country banter
• 08:55–11:56 – Artist nominations, “Folded” remix phenomenon
• 13:25 – Billboard Hot 100 rule changes, streaming’s impact, industry “reset”
• 19:38–20:50 – “Is this socialism?” – debate over music industry fairness
• 22:44 – No rap in the top 40, impact for artists and business
• 32:12–39:54 – Listener voicemail: dating advice and “settling”
• 43:03–61:14 – Deep dive: humor, disclosure, and cultural handling of abuse

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Tone & Style

The episode is a masterclass in balancing unfiltered humor, cultural commentary, and real-life vulnerability. The conversation flows from biting satire to honest, sometimes raw sharing, peppered with jokes but underpinned by a genuine sense of community—and a refusal to avoid hard truths.

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Takeaways for New Listeners

• Expect a bold, conversational style that veers from pop culture to personal stories and back in a heartbeat.
• Music industry debates are grounded in both insider knowledge and cultural critique.
• Listener questions are taken seriously but always laced with the show’s trademark wit.
• The episode’s pivot into discussions of trauma and family culture sets it apart—with laughter used not as deflection, but as a tool for ownership and relief.

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In sum:
This “Best of” delivers exactly what New Rory & Mal listeners crave: smart, snarky, real talk about music, culture, and life’s messiness, by a crew willing to take it as far as it goes—on the charts, in relationships, and within themselves.

Transcript

[Rory]

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[Sponsor Voice]

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[Josh]

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[Rory]

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[Josh]

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[Rory]

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[Josh]

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[Sponsor Voice]

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[Josh]

See mintmobile.com the volume well, I saw on Friday that the Grammys were going to announce all the categories. Grammy schmammies and then there was one specific category that was being split. Grammys will announce nominations next week following Beyonce's historic win as the first black woman to win Best Country Album. The category has been retired and split into two Best Contemporary Country Album in parentheses, black dominated and Best Traditional Country Album in parentheses. Yes, White dominated.

[Ms. Pat]

More segregation.

[Josh]

I'm sure the Grammys didn't put black dominated and white dominated in parentheses, more segregation. This is from Pop Fusion hq.

[Ms. Pat]

Keep that contemporary country over there. Y' all don't even wear Wranglers. I don't know nothing about wranglers in a Ford Bronco.

[Josh]

You don't know Brett Favre's volleyball team.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, you don't know. I don't know.

[Josh]

You never been to a game.

[Ms. Pat]

Keep that contemporary country over there. Don't come over here with Johnny Cash in them. You ain't Johnny Cash.

[Josh]

All right. Do we think that Cowboy Carter would have been in contemporary country album this year if the years were switched?

[Rory]

Of course it would have.

[Josh]

What about that is a contemporary?

[Ms. Pat]

I don't even know. That's not what about A country album.

[Josh]

It's.

[Ms. Pat]

That is traditional country.

[Josh]

Traditional. She went out of her way to make a traditional country album.

[Ms. Pat]

This is just more like just with the music industry.

[Josh]

And, yeah, I get, like, Shabuzi has experimented, and I could see that type of stuff. But, I mean, we know what. What this is.

[Ms. Pat]

Of course we do.

[Josh]

Black country artists are. Are smoking, y'. All. So we got to split it up.

[Ms. Pat]

We got to split it up. It's not going to be fair. Here we come. Taking back our sound. First of all, we got to get into that.

[Rory]

We got it.

[Ms. Pat]

It's our music.

[Josh]

So. So you don't find it funny when Maga says we need to take back our country?

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, I do find that funny.

[Josh]

It was never y' all to begin with.

[Sponsor Voice]

Very funny.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, but this is. That's. That's what this is. It's like, come on, man. Cut the shit, bro. Like, it's 2025. Let's just all be honest. Like, it's okay. Like, I just think that everybody kind of, like, is, you know, trying to walk on eggshells. Just have the conversation. Contemporary country album.

[Josh]

Okay. I do. I know why they did this. And it's a direct response to what happen with Beyonce.

[Ms. Pat]

Absolutely.

[Josh]

With that said, I do like that they have split up categories within R and B and other genres. Like, I like that there's a traditional R B category. I like that there's a contemporary R and B, alternative art. Like, I like that they're doing sub genres, because it does give artists that don't make, you know, the highest form of R and B right now, gives them a chance to be recognized. Now, I know that's not what they're doing here.

[Ms. Pat]

No.

[Josh]

But I do like the contemporary categories in a lot of other genres. Matter of fact, I think rap should be split up in sub genres for Grammys. I don't think it should just be rap album of the year.

[Ms. Pat]

It definitely needs to be.

[Josh]

I like. I think it's great that, like, you know, Gibbs and Alchemist are nominated. Royce gets like, I think all that shit is great. But some years, it's like, the real what should be a rap album isn't even nominated. So I do think these subcategories are cool. Like, I'm not mad at. I just know what this one is.

[Ms. Pat]

This is.

[Josh]

This is the whites being upset. That's what that is.

[Ms. Pat]

If this was. If this. If this happened before Beyonce's album.

[Josh]

Yep. I'd be. I'd be like, all right, cool.

[Ms. Pat]

Like, okay, cool. They trying to, you Know, make sure everybody kind of gets recognition. They understand that, you know, the sound, the music changes, artists come in and, you know, create a different type of sound. Like, we. Okay, we understand that. But this coming off of the win.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

It's just blatant and in your face. Like, all right, man. Like, we get it. Like, in case Beyonce decides to make another country album, she's gonna dominate again. And then, you know, like. Yeah, I mean, just have the conversation, man. Like, I don't know how much longer we gotta try to sit and act like we don't know what this is. And it's just like, you know, it's. First of all, it's unfortunate that we even still have to do or feel like we have to do shit like this, but, like, what you gonna do?

[Josh]

They added progressive R B album, which I think is cool. Like, to me, those categories work. But you might as well just say urban. Urban country and urban country and. And real country.

[Ms. Pat]

Urban country, Real country.

[Josh]

Like, just. Just say what it is at this point or add more subcategories than just two. Because country has a. A bunch of different. Like, the. That wins is usually pop country. It's not like country country. Like, just because someone. Country talks about a golden retriever, a pickup truck, and radio. That's a pop record, dog.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, Urban country in this country. Country country with a K. Country, definitely with a K. Absolutely.

[Josh]

But I'm. I'm curious to see what. What nominations are looking like this year. For sure. I mean, we'll cover it next week once they actually come out. But rap should be really interesting this year. R B should be really interesting this year.

[Ms. Pat]

Should it be interesting?

[Josh]

I think Leon Thomas is going to clean up everything, but that's just my opinion.

[Ms. Pat]

Hopefully you had a great album.

[Josh]

Yeah. And I think Mutt will clear up singles as well. Yeah.

[Rory]

I don't know, man. Might have to compete with Folded. Folded might come through and crush building ass.

[Josh]

Folded is. Is one of those. Did and Folded made it in time, right?

[Rory]

It should. Yeah. It had to.

[Josh]

August, I believe the deadline was August, beginning of September. Folded, I think, made it right there.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Josh]

No, Folded is crazy.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, but folding ain't Mutt, though.

[Josh]

Much is. It came out, like, everything came out right after the last Grammy deadline. June 11, we saw a dominance of a full year of Mutt. That's why I feel like it's a. A cleanup.

[Rory]

June 11 is when folded came out.

[Josh]

Okay. Oh, yeah. All right, cool.

[Ms. Pat]

Well, yeah, I like that record, though.

[Josh]

Folded.

[Rory]

Folded got so crazy that everybody, you know, how many people went and just made a remix? She didn't ask. These Brandy. Brandy, Tony Braxton, Tank, Mario Plies have all made Folded. Folded remixes. Neo Just Volunteer was like, I want a folded remix. That's how, like, big that song.

[Josh]

Who wrote Dixon?

[Ms. Pat]

Rofolded Fire?

[Josh]

I don't quote, really. He did, yeah.

[Rory]

I'm Kehlani Dixon. There's a couple other people. Donovan Knight, Andre Harris, DeWitt Wilson, Christopher Riddick Tynes. Milosh Angelov.

[Josh]

Yeah, that record is incredible. Milos, the guy that did my massage.

[Ms. Pat]

It's the same guy.

[Josh]

Multifaceted. He performed on the boat and then. And then rubbed my hand.

[Ms. Pat]

I love that, though. When you go on, like, a vacation and the guy that works, like, at the restaurant is like, Michael Jackson at night. That's the best. I mean, that's my man right there.

[Josh]

That's what I was telling the PR people. I was like, yo, the way they do Michael Jackson and Elvis, like, if you need me to do Paul Wall, I can do Paul Wall. You just got to pay for my grill.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, my God.

[Josh]

But onmusic and Leon Thomas, we left out the Folks EP album. I don't know, whatever it was called that Leon just put out on October 24th. Did you listen to Folks?

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Leon has not fucking missed in three projects straight.

[Ms. Pat]

That came out last week, right?

[Josh]

October 24th. Yeah. My muse. Incredible. Like, I didn't think he could even top the Not Fair record off the Deluxe so much. And listen, man, I can't say enough. I think he's going to clean up, but Folder deserves all the credit, period.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. Now that I know Dixon wrote that. Yeah, I like to see that one.

[Josh]

I think, for that. That Deluxe. Because Foley was on the Deluxe, right? Damaris Kehlani's album.

[Rory]

I don't even think it. No, I think she just dropped old. It was just a single.

[Josh]

I think it was on two records on the deluxe as a feature outside of just producing. Yeah. They've been working for a while now. And everything that Kehlani and Dixon do together.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, I love seeing Kehlani get, like, have this moment, though.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Me too.

[Ms. Pat]

She's been dope for so many years. Like, it's just good to see Kehlani, like, finally being spoken about, like, everywhere. Like, everybody's in tune with her. Everybody's listening to her.

[Rory]

When I was at One Music Fest, Kehlani performed, and I was, of course, like, in heaven. But I've been a Kehlani fan. I hate being those people. That's like, I've been a Kehlani fan for. So I've been a Kehlani fan for over 10 years. So when I was. She was performing older songs, and I'm screaming to the top of my lungs, and I'm looking around and I have a video where my drunk ass is like.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

I'm like, y' all folded fans.

[Rory]

These ain't Kehlani fans. These folded fans. But at the same time, I'm happy, happy that there are people that are now they get to discover Kehlani's beautiful catalog that she's had for years. And they're reading like, they're just. They're hearing songs that I love for the first time. And, like, that's, like, beautiful. I'm happy she's getting this moment, too.

[Josh]

As a Kehlani fan for 10 years as well, I think we forget that she was, like, 16 when she came out. Like, she's just coming into her own now as an artist. She came out when she was a child. Like, we definitely didn't get the best of her music in the beginning because she was still. She was a kid, and we still thought it was amazing. So I think we'll get better music from Kehlani in the second half of her career than we did on the first, because everything she's been doing has been incredible.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah.

[Josh]

I saw this. The Billboard Hot 100 tweaks his rules along with the Grammys. Everything is scrambling.

[Rory]

Yeah, we waited to talk about this till you got here because we knew you wanted to nerd out.

[Josh]

I mean, there's. There's not much nerding out that I want to do on this. I mean, we can give a quick rundown. Effective this week. If a song drops below number five after 78 weeks, it's removed. If a song drops below low number 10 After 52 weeks, it's removed. And so on and so forth. I think this, along with what's going on with Spotify, what's going on with radio, which you guys didn't believe me about. Everyone is scrambling to change everything because everything is about to change. Bots have ruined everything. Everything needs to switch up in billboard labels. DSPs. Everyone is getting ahead of everything changing. We're changing rules.

[Rory]

Okay?

[Josh]

We're changing rules.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

I'm.

[Ms. Pat]

Are they changing the way artists are paid out, or is that going to remain the same? Exactly.

[Rory]

I. I'm with you on the. Everybody's scrambling. I also think that Billboard. I think that this makes things a little bit fair. And I think the reason why Billboard did this is I don't think that's that big of a conspiracy. There are some songs that are so well loved that they will stay on the charts for years.

[Josh]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Rory]

If you. And it doesn't make room for other artists to enter into those smaller spots.

[Josh]

Especially if an icon dies and you're song can't get to number one.

[Rory]

You cool?

[Josh]

I'm fine. I'm not okay.

[Ms. Pat]

I get it. I'm not okay. No, I'm not.

[Josh]

I'm not okay.

[Ms. Pat]

I'm not okay.

[Josh]

No, I hear you. And I think this does make things much more fair. But I think with all the rules changing, there's a specific reason for it, this being one of them that I agree with. Like, even. But again, like, I think Teddy Swims Lose Control deserved to be on the Billboard as long as it was. It's an incredible record and it kept streaming fairly. Like.

[Rory]

Yes, but I mean, but we get it. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, because. Okay, so if the Billboard was getting you, if you were being paid every week for being on Billboard, then that makes sense. Because then you're taking food out of their pot out of their mouths. But if it's just like, okay, we get it. You've been number one for such and such many weeks. After 200 weeks, like, it's fine. Okay, you were on the charts for 200 weeks. Kick him the off and let somebody else come on. Like, it's. That's insane.

[Josh]

I don't know. I mean, to me, again, if you're taking away any. And I don't even want to say bots, because when it was CDs. Let's not act like even Universal Def Jam Cash Money, everyone has admitted they were buying hundreds of thousands of CDs to make sure they got to number one. Like, this isn't a new thing. It's just now it's. It's bots. Because it's tech.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Josh]

I do think if it's fair, why shouldn't the one that's streaming the most stay there? I don't think that's a bad thing. Like, as much as. As annoying as it was that the spurs were in the finals every year or the Patriots were in the super bowl every year, or the Kansas City Chiefs have been there. Like, we about to do what the NBA did and block the Crisp Paul deal, because that's up. Like, if this is how the system is set up. Why, what's wrong with that? They're fairly doing it. I'd be pissed if. If they told Tom Brady, yo, you're too Good. No more Super Bowls for you, bro. But you know how up that is, like, complete.

[Rory]

That's completely different. Because a Super bowl is such a huge moment. They're not saying number one record on Billboard. They're not removing number ones. That's not the rule. That's not the rule. The rule is the motherfuckers that's over there sitting at 97 for five years.

[Josh]

They can go, like.

[Rory]

You see what I'm saying? They're not taking people from number one or number two or number three or number four or number five.

[Josh]

Okay, but I'm saying to. All right, let me not say.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, but do you want to be the artist that enters the Billboard because they removed somebody that was just, like, stagnant. Like, oh, I got in because they took homie off.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

Make better music.

[Rory]

No, no, because it's. Because.

[Ms. Pat]

No, don't make better music.

[Rory]

No, it's not about you making bad music. It has nothing to do with. Because we all know when Taylor Swift releases a fucking album, she knocks like, 10 people off because her entire album is going to go to slots number one through 10. That doesn't. And it's going to stay there for a while. So the people who are inching in it. Inching in. You said what?

[Ms. Pat]

It's good music.

[Josh]

No, no, I hear what you're saying. It's fucked up. And I won't use the Tom Brady thing because again, it's not the number one. But, like, okay, that'd be like Mike Vrabel. You can't go to the super bowl this year. Like, you're not the best player, but you're in five Super Bowls and you play really well. Robert Ory can't get a ring and just stay at number 78 on the Billboard charts. Like, if I'm there for 100 weeks, yeah, that's a stat for me. That's cool that I stayed in the Billboard Hot 100. That's a stat for an artist. But do you just. Not just because you're not number one. The Hot 100 is a. Like, a thing for an artist.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Rory]

But it's not like he hit the hot 100. Like, oh, my God. It's not like he's climbing. Right. Like, for example, shot we just spoke about Folded. Shout outs to Folded. It just hit number seven on the Billboard charts. Right. Folded is climbing. It's been there for a little while, but it's climbing.

[Ms. Pat]

That record is not number one.

[Rory]

No, it didn't go number one. I think y', all, like, misunderstood like records don't be going number one. I feel like me and you have this issue a lot Record a lot of the records that we love don't go number one.

[Josh]

Teddy Swims losing control just left the top ten. And I believe that came out two years ago.

[Ms. Pat]

Wow.

[Josh]

Through the Taylor Swift thing, through everything.

[Ms. Pat]

I thought Foley went number one.

[Rory]

No, no.

[Josh]

And I mean, I. I get it. You have to adjust because of streaming because that can keep things weekly outside of album sales. And salt. Like, there wasn't song sales, iTunes, charts.

[Rory]

We all know the bigger the artist and the bigger the label and the more money that is behind them. You can get playlisted. Playlisted is going to keep you on the score charts longer. That doesn't mean that you have a better song or it means that you have access to more. More funding. So it's not make better music. It's. They're going to make sure that Taylor Swift or Taylor Swift or Drake or Kendrick or all of these people are on all of these playlists. So, yes, their songs are going to stay longer because people who are discovering them or listening to them sometimes against their will. Are you seeing what I'm saying? Whereas you might have a small artist that's right there. Right there. It's okay to take Taylor song off. That's been that for 100. It's been okay to take Teddy Swims off or Benson Boons. It's okay.

[Josh]

This is socialism. They hit.

[Rory]

No, it's not because you hit number one or you hit where you were gonna hit.

[Ms. Pat]

You hit your peak.

[Rory]

You don't drop down, you don't drop down. And now it's time for other people to get the chance. You have the accolade. Nobody's taking that accolade from you. No, nothing. They said after 78 weeks, Brody, how long 78 weeks is?

[Josh]

If it's fair, it's fine with me. Again, I think they're scrambling to change the rules and everything because I'm not saying anything specific to Kendrick or Drake as far as bots, but I think the bot thing has gotten so far out of control for every single artist signed to a major that everyone is changing the rules in the midst of them being caught doing it. I. Yeah, this is cool, but it's not like it's an asterisk on Roger Maris hitting 61 home runs because he had an extra few games. Like we're putting it. So Taylor still gets the accolade, but someone else's name gets to be put there. Like, this is a Participation trophy to me, like, this is the real world. If it's fair, she should stay there.

[Rory]

If it's fair, it's never going to be fair. So why are we talking about if it's never going to be.

[Josh]

They're trying to make it fair now. It's going to take a while.

[Rory]

Of course, artists are majors and with money will always have access to more resources. It's never going to be completely fair to Music industry will never be fair. But this makes it a little bit more fair.

[Ms. Pat]

They're trying to. They're trying to make it look like they trying to make it fair. Like, okay, let's make it fair. But I don't think much is going to change as a result of this. I don't. Honestly. Yeah, I don't think much is going to change. Just being honest.

[Rory]

I think.

[Josephine]

We'll see.

[Rory]

We'll see. Maybe, you know, a couple new songs hit that. That top 100 that deserve to be there, but they might not have access.

[Josh]

But I mean, listen, if you have. If you're in the top 10 for a year, that's crazy. That's what I was saying after Teddy Swims was there for almost two years. Like, yeah, if you drop to number 11 after a year, cool. We should be removed. But like, I don't know. That's still up.

[Sponsor Voice]

Like, if.

[Josh]

If my is streaming fairly that way. Why are you taking me off my.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes.

[Josh]

Yeah, this is capitalism versus socialism.

[Rory]

I don't even think that. Honestly. I don't think the people who. I think once you've been on Spotify for it. I mean, you've been on the Billboard charts for a year. I don't even think them artists is really like, hey, you took me down. Like, I really wanted it to be a year and three months. Like, I don't think they give a. I was on there for a year. I had that talking point.

[Ms. Pat]

I mean, if you any. And if you like me. I don't give a. Where they at on the charts. I don't even check for that type of. If the music is good, I'm listening.

[Rory]

Well, the artist cares because.

[Ms. Pat]

Well, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, like, the artists obviously care, but I mean, fans. I mean, I don't. We don't give a. About. Well, let me say I don't give a. About any of this.

[Josh]

Okay, then what does that do to the Billboard Awards?

[Ms. Pat]

You watch that?

[Josh]

No, I've always said it was one of the most pointless award shows because you can just go on the Internet and see who wins? Like, it's not like I gotta tell them. I can literally just check every week on who's gonna win. But also, I think, yeah, this only really affects artists and Stan accounts that are doing, like, who was on vogue for the first time. Like, this is all kind of weird to me because it's not.

[Ms. Pat]

And let's go.

[Josh]

This.

[Ms. Pat]

This is effective as of right now.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

All right, well, let's pay close attention in the next year and see. See if we notice any changes.

[Josh]

I caught the Les Taylor. I caught the meltdown to some degree over the last week. I'm not sure if you guys touched fully upon it. Of the. No, rap songs are in the top 40 Billboard Hot 100 for the first time since 1990.

[Ms. Pat]

But there is one in the top 50. They just, you know, they cut it at 40 just because it reads better. Okay, there's a rap song, number 50.

[Josh]

I think it should be removed.

[Ms. Pat]

I think it's Big X, the plug. I think he's number 50.

[Josh]

How long has it been there? Because I think you should get the. Out of there.

[Ms. Pat]

Well, I don't know. I don't know how many weeks he's been here, but I think he is number 50.

[Josh]

I don't know. I don't have, like, the same meltdown that I saw all of our media peers have. Like, I don't think this matters that much.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, no, it matters to the artists. It matters to us.

[Sponsor Voice]

We.

[Ms. Pat]

We don't give a. To the artists to rappers. This definitely matters 1000%.

[Josh]

But you're saying on, like, the superstar side or. Or what? Like, yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. Labels are not. They're not. Because this is all just labels not putting money behind rap songs. That's all this is. It's not like people didn't put out good rap songs. The labels are not putting the money behind these rap songs that they once were. So what does that mean for rappers? What does that mean between them and their labels? Are labels willing to put money behind them still or at all? How much are they putting behind it? Like, so, yeah, the rappers care 1000% because this directly affects them in their business with the labels.

[Josh]

And they should care if they're getting removed after.

[Ms. Pat]

No, that's. They do. The artists care. Us, the fans, we don't care. We don't. Look at this.

[Rory]

NBA YoungBoy is number 43 with shot calling, and he's been on the charts for six weeks.

[Josh]

So good for Young.

[Ms. Pat]

Big extra plugs not on there.

[Rory]

Big X, the plug is number 50.

[Ms. Pat]

Okay.

[Rory]

With hell at Night.

[Ms. Pat]

Okay.

[Josh]

I mean, I don't know. I just think rap is in, like a good place.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, the music?

[Rory]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

Just about the business of it.

[Josh]

Like, there's been years since 1990 where it felt really fudgeing bad and they were still in the top 40.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, no, for sure, for sure.

[Josh]

But I mean, I guess, does that just prove that Billboard doesn't mean much if the point is their labels are putting money behind those records, which the money that the label puts behind the artist is just going to have to owe back anyways. It's not like the labels giving them a good gesture push the money they'd have to put up to get on Billboard. They have to owe back.

[Ms. Pat]

They have to pay.

[Josh]

So it's like, I just. I didn't look at this like it was over for hip hop.

[Ms. Pat]

No, no, no, it's definitely not over.

[Josh]

I understand a few years ago was the highest stream genre, which was a. A big W for. For hip hop. But I don't know, it goes back to the superstar thing for me too. Yes, labels are not investing as much in rap, but there's also no superstars. And I'm not saying that a label putting a bunch of money into an artist is going to make them superstar. No, there just isn't superstars. But like, if Travis drops Tomorrow.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Top 20 will be a whole Travis album scattered throughout the top 20 on Billboard. So no one's dropping. Like, yeah, that's of that stature. But I mean, I think Shout out to Big Extra Plug and Youngboy that they're up there. I think that whole just drop singles thing has kind of backfired on the labels a bit because we see what the albums do for the charts that matter to the labels and the artists. Like, that's why they're changing the rules, because Taylor's there through the whole thing. When Drake dropped For all the Dogs wasn't at every record. When GNX came out, every record was in the top 10. Like, I think the labels kind of played themselves a bit of like, yo, we shouldn't do this album thing. Let's just Cardi. Just do one song a year. Like, no, like the Mike Karen strategy. No disrespect to Mike Karen. Like, I just think that strategy, they're seeing the result of it. It didn't work in Billboard and streaming the way you guys thought it would. When it comes to charts, if you. If you care about the charts, they could not care. I don't know. But albums are the ones that are sticking to the point they got to change the fucking rules.

[Ms. Pat]

Just continue to make good music. Fuck the charts. Fuck all that. I mean I understand that is important to their business. But like good, good music, great music that always pierces through that. That's what stands the test of time. I don't know where some of my favorite songs and favorite albums landed on the charts. I know that I love this fucking album. So I mean.

[Rory]

Yeah, and I want to clarify, I'm sorry, folded is at 14, not number seven. That was my mistake. I'm sorry.

[Josh]

14 is still crazy.

[Rory]

That's its peak so far.

[Ms. Pat]

Thank you for that baby.

[Rory]

Dude, no problem.

[Ms. Pat]

They would have killed you for that, you know. They would have got you.

[Rory]

Yeah, they would have killed me. So I just wanted.

[Ms. Pat]

We don't want them to kill me.

[Rory]

Wanted to do my research.

[Ms. Pat]

That's right.

[Josh]

Producer, journalist, whole op ed. Yeah, yeah.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

New worrying now.

[Sponsor Voice]

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[Josh]

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[Sponsor Voice]

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[Rory]

You got voicemails, Josh.

[Sponsor Voice]

You've got mail.

[Ms. Pat]

Sponsored by Boost Mobile. Unlimited talk, text and data for 25amonth.

[Rory]

You have to stop.

[Josephine]

Hi guys, this is Josephine from Amsterdam. So also, I really appreciate the podcast. I feel like you should guys should add Amsterdam on your tour dates. I appreciate that, Josephine.

[Ms. Pat]

I'm with you on that.

[Josephine]

I'll bring a few of my homies that also listen to you. So, homies, you're welcome. More than welcome.

[Ms. Pat]

Thank you, Josephine.

[Josephine]

So this is kind of more towards the Maris. I would like to hear the view of the guys as well. But, you know, I feel like the Marist probably has some experience in this as well. So. I've been single for three years. I did some healing after the relationship which was needed, and now I'm putting myself out there again since I think a year, which is good. But I just cannot get over the fact that there's so many losers in the world and everybody just makes me cringe so much, and I don't know what to do about it. It's just. It's just crazy. I've been on many dates and I just see the flaws all the time and I'm just like, ugh, just make me icky. So I don't know what to do about it. I would like to know if. If you have a tip for me or. It's just, why are there so many losers out here?

[Josh]

I just want to find a sign.

[Josephine]

Man who's, like, cool and also cringy. Help me. Okay, thank you.

[Josh]

I think this is a great question for Damaris, because she was somebody that spun the block forever and now is in a happy relationship with a new person. Teach us how you get back out there when it's icky out there.

[Rory]

I just feel like outside of my relationship, I've always just felt like this. I feel like everything happens when it's supposed to. That's with jobs, that's with relationships, that's with friends, that's with life. If something isn't coming to you, it's just not either. You aren't mentally ready for it. It's not the time in your life for it. And higher powers want you to focus on something else.

[Josh]

That's the worst advice to give someone when they're like broke, can't find a job. Like, yo, just the time will come. Like, I need this now.

[Ms. Pat]

You're the higher power.

[Rory]

But you. You saying I need it now.

[Josh]

I agree with you.

[Rory]

I can't.

[Josh]

Always a bad advice to someone that's going through something.

[Rory]

But it's not bad advice because it's the truth. It's just not what you want to hear. Nobody ever wants to hear good advice. They want to hear a magical solution to their problem.

[Josh]

Well, maybe a different approach that you took that made the timing right when you met the person you're with now.

[Rory]

I don't want to talk about that.

[Josh]

Okay. Fair enough.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Josh]

I think getting back out there, unfortunately is a volume game. I think you have to go out and date and see the X and just see what's out there. If you go on two dates and it's like, oh, that's gross. You're not going to really solve anything unless you keep getting back out there.

[Rory]

Also, don't the aches. Sometimes I feel like sometimes we overthink X. Like sometimes we're just speak to it.

[Josh]

Baby D. You gotta have a little.

[Rory]

Bit more patience for some things.

[Sponsor Voice]

A little bit more.

[Rory]

Now if something really makes you feel uncomfortable inside, nobody has a better fourth.

[Ms. Pat]

Quarter than baby dudes. I'm sorry.

[Rory]

There's gonna be some things that make you feel. If something makes you feel uncomfortable inside, get the out of there. Right. Like listen to. Listen to your body and your intuition telling you things. But sometimes people are just doing things that you aren't used to. Or they might live a different lifestyle than you're used to. Or they might have a different lingo that you're not used to. If you really, really want to find love, I'm never saying settle, but just be a little bit more open. Be strict with your boundaries. But when it comes to their personality, be a little bit more open and willing to try new things. Same thing with food, with jobs, with anything. Like you can't keep doing or dating the same thing that you always have because that obviously hasn't worked out for you.

[Ms. Pat]

Right.

[Rory]

That mixed with. Also sometime the timing is just not right. You got to be patient.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Which sucks. Nobody wants to hear that. But that's the truth.

[Josh]

Sometimes you have the wrong icks. You should have some icks with the last Guy that you think you like. Why do you think the word settle gets such a negative connotation? Like, why. Why do you think that word settle?

[Rory]

They usually aren't happy.

[Josh]

But is that the. Is that the actual definition of that word? Or have we made it that, like, sometimes you have to settle on certain things to be in a happy relationship. Like, you're not going. You're not going to love everything about somebody.

[Rory]

You have to settle on that thing that's compromising. Settling and compromising are two totally different things.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. Settling is more like, all right, well, I guess this is it.

[Rory]

Yeah, this is weird.

[Ms. Pat]

Like, imagine you. You with your girl and you come home and she's like, well, I guess this is it. What? Like, yo, we don't have to do this. Like, we can go our separate ways.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

If that's the energy, if it's like, oh, well, this is.

[Josh]

You know. But can you settle for something you love? Like, I'll settle for this because I love this. And what. This is over. Going back outside and trying to find something that's unproven.

[Ms. Pat]

Not settle. I choose this.

[Josh]

Okay.

[Ms. Pat]

Settle is like, if there's something else that comes along that I feel like is better than this, I'm out. That's the energy that settling has. Like.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

And also, I'll take this for now. That.

[Rory]

That isn't your. Like, yeah. Like, you wouldn't prefer this.

[Ms. Pat]

This is not what I would usually be doing.

[Rory]

Like, you wouldn't. This isn't what you.

[Ms. Pat]

But as soon as something that comes along that you deem to be what you think is your ideal situation, person, whatever, you're out of there. Like, you're. You're out of that situation that you were currently in. And it happens.

[Josh]

I mean, settle. And again, this is just the western dictionary result.

[Ms. Pat]

It never hit y', all, like, months after you stopped dating somebody that they lied to you in your face, they told you some shit. Like, you'll never. That shit don't ever just hit you randomly sometimes.

[Josh]

Oh, for sure.

[Ms. Pat]

You being talking like that was lying.

[Josh]

Yeah. Some shit that you never even thought was a lie. Like the way deja vu hit you sometimes things. It's something in your brain. Like, wait, hold on. I didn't make. No, you weren't even thinking about it.

[Ms. Pat]

Yo, where was I?

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

That didn't even make sense.

[Ms. Pat]

Where was I at in my life where that worked. Like, you what she told me, cuz.

[Josh]

You had the blinders.

[Rory]

I feel like that might be a man thing.

[Ms. Pat]

I don't.

[Rory]

Well, because women I. I'll be thinking you lying from the jump. So I don't. I never have that come to Jesus moment. Because I was thinking that from the very beginning.

[Ms. Pat]

Yo, it be hitting you at the most random. I think I was on, like, ordering some shit on prime or something like that. It's at the checkout. And I was like, well, hold up. She told me what.

[Josh]

What do you think in your order list? Sparked it?

[Ms. Pat]

I. I have no idea. But it just hit me and I was just like.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

I had to laugh.

[Ms. Pat]

Like, that's crazy that that worked on me. Like.

[Josh]

But you know. Yeah. Resolve or reach an agreement about an argument or problem. I guess not. There a place to stay?

[Ms. Pat]

Hey.

[Josh]

Sometimes you gotta say hey. Sometimes squatting. Some go and settling.

[Ms. Pat]

Sometimes you gotta settle. Like, listen, man, some snaps ain't hitting. He treat me. All right. I'm just gonna settle here.

[Josh]

So in that. In that way, settle is a positive thing.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, it can be.

[Josh]

Settle for shelter.

[Ms. Pat]

I choose shelter over the park bench at night. I choose this man's warm home instead of the subway.

[Josh]

Yeah. And then the third definition, which, ironically, for this month, makes a lot of sense. Colonize.

[Ms. Pat]

Now we're getting somewhere.

[Josh]

You see, we were the settlers.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. That's it. That's all we gotta just. That first word is very important.

[Josh]

The conquerors. Rapist. Slave owner. No. We came here and settled to settle.

[Ms. Pat]

This Brought the ships to the dock and settled.

[Josh]

Settled.

[Ms. Pat]

Settle down. Everybody settled down.

[Josh]

Everyone settled down. Take this blanket.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. Settle in.

[Josh]

They have something on it. Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. That's all. That's all you got to do. Hopefully, Josephine, we helped you with that. I don't think we did, baby. Dk.

[Josh]

Well, no. Get back out there. I do think volume game. Even if you've had some bad dates, that doesn't mean the next person you meet is going to be as bad. You have to get back out there.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Even if it sucks. Like, sit through a Caesar salad and then just don't speak to them. Right.

[Rory]

Just.

[Ms. Pat]

Just.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

No.

[Rory]

Go out with their friends, have fun. Find something that's a hobby. And meet. Be open to meeting people in the space that they're at. If something falls in your lap, something falls in your lap. You can date, but, like, don't. Don't. The volume game doesn't like saying serial date.

[Josh]

Like, swipe right and go on a date every fudgeing night. I'm saying be open after having bad dates to still dating. Yeah. That's all I'm saying. I'm not saying date every night. Do we have another one or.

[Sponsor Voice]

All right.

[Josh]

Well, this was fun.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes, this was great.

[Josh]

Yeah, this was a great post election day.

[Rory]

I'm in the Patreon.

[Ms. Pat]

Great post election day.

[Rory]

I mean, Rory, did you watch our mall? Did you watch our vlog?

[Ms. Pat]

No, but I'm hearing good things about it.

[Josh]

I haven't watched it yet. No, I do want to watch it.

[Rory]

Yo, whenever I work hard on some, I need everybody in the office to watch it because I edited.

[Josh]

No, I'm really. It's on my to do to watch.

[Rory]

So now everybody watching.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, you edited it? Yeah. I'm not watching that. It's gonna be probably mad jump cuts. That's off.

[Josh]

No, the first one she did when we were in Vegas was great.

[Ms. Pat]

Like a. Like, you got closed captions on the closed captions. No, I'll just play. I'm check it out, though, because I've been hearing good things. People seem to like it. And somebody was telling me, yo, you need to do that more. That. Shut up.

[Josh]

No, it's like, how dare the listeners tell you what they. Good feedback.

[Ms. Pat]

No, I respect that. Yeah, I'm gonna watch it, though. We have fun, though. We gotta do one now.

[Josh]

I. You and I can do one. I want. We gotta fly on the wall for just you and Peach for a vlog. Oh, like, maybe that's not even. Just shoot it.

[Ms. Pat]

Like, that's not gonna make the airwaves. Me and Peach. You don't want me and Peach to go somewhere and just kick it over a beer. No, like, you let me and peas go kick it over beers and it's not going to make the.

[Josh]

It's not $50 here.

[Ms. Pat]

It's not going to leave the editing floor. It's not going to leave.

[Josh]

Man, let's even like, trump.

[Ms. Pat]

Let's fucking. There we go. You got to sit down and talk when you don't like somebody sit right here and let's figure out why we don't like you.

[Rory]

They did some cancelable shit in our one vlog. I thought about cutting it out. I'm like, I can't.

[Ms. Pat]

Well, me and Peach, I'm going to come.

[Josh]

Wait, that's canceling them?

[Rory]

Because they were. They were. I said they. Peach asked me would I rather be blind or deaf? And I was like, deaf, I need to see. And then I said, oh, but damn if I'm deaf. You can't talk me through it. So that. Then.

[Josh]

Oh, I get. Oh, I get the joke now, Mother. I get not getting. I get the joke now.

[Ms. Pat]

All right, I'm sorry.

[Josh]

Baby D. You're offending Josh.

[Ms. Pat]

I'm sorry.

[Josh]

You're offending Josh. Stop it.

[Ms. Pat]

Josh.

[Josh]

Stop it right now.

[Ms. Pat]

He's teething over there. Seething, seething, not teething. Why did I say teething?

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Seething, Seething.

[Ms. Pat]

Why did I say teething? What's teething?

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Oh.

[Ms. Pat]

Josh is teen.

[Josh]

Yo, I got some frozen in the freezer for you for. From Amar. Give him one of the.

[Ms. Pat]

The chew toys. You know the toys. The bumps on it because of the gums. The gums itch, so you got to get.

[Rory]

Oh, my God.

[Josh]

I can't. Oh, these whiny democrats are teething.

[Ms. Pat]

Be safe. Be blessed. I'm that. He's your gender. My.

[Josh]

My.

[Ms. Pat]

My.

[Josh]

I'm not gender. I'm just a gender.

[Ms. Pat]

I said gender or gender. Oh, well, he is gender. He.

[Josh]

We don't know his gender.

[Ms. Pat]

We don't know Josh's gender.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Peace. You circumcised?

[Ms. Pat]

Yes, I'm circumcised. Oh, yeah, I'm circumcised.

[Josh]

Okay.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

You circumcised.

[Ms. Pat]

He's Irish.

[Josh]

I think that's part Irish Catholic. Yeah, it's like a. Oh, yeah, they.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Tight, y' all skin at the church.

[Josh]

Yeah, they. They. They. They cut our foreskin off, and then they touch it pretty much. That's what the Irish Catholics do.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

You. You remember that, man? You remember that priest? I'm online. He was. He was circumcising them people.

[Ms. Pat]

Which one?

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

And he was putting his mouth on them kids. You remember that? It's on YouTube. It was on YouTube.

[Ms. Pat]

He was putting his mouth on.

[Josh]

Yeah, there was that one. Ah, he was like, Filipino. It was like a Buddhist priest, though, that was grabbing the kids tongues and.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, no, he said. No, that was the. That was the Dolly.

[Josh]

That was the Dalai Lama.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Yeah, he was grabbing the kids tongue, but one of them was, like, biting on them.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, yeah, I didn't see that.

[Josh]

Yeah, so, I mean, that wasn't in my parents.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

You Irish, right?

[Josh]

I mean, you Catholic Irish? I was raised Irish Catholic.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Yeah. They do some weird things over there at that church. See, it ain't like the black church. Somebody testified in the middle of the pastor. They back here with these kids. That's what happened at the black church. You. You might get touched one or two times, but somebody gonna tell on his ass.

[Josh]

Y.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Wait. They ain't gonna let it go on. But then you gotta be on all that medication. Cause, you know, they don't put black kids on all that medication. We cur that right then and there. Yeah, that why you keep blinking your eye? Who touching me?

[Josh]

You don't listen to the show?

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

I don't listen to the show. You've been touched.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Why is it every time we get a comedian on here, they ask me?

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

I. I knew cause you were dripping your eyes. I knew because he will blink it. You know, that's a. That's help. That's a. Y' all don't know. That's a sign that he needs some help.

[Josh]

I thought it was because I had nice eyelashes.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

No, when they be blinking like that, that means somebody. Somebody messed up his. His equal liberty. His eyelashes take off.

[Josh]

Knock that shit right touch you. I mean they're dead now.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Who touch you?

[Josh]

You want to tell his government name?

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Well, no.

[Josh]

Who was her government name?

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

It was a her.

[Josh]

It was. It was a man and a woman. It was a wild day.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

At the same time.

[Josh]

No, it's different at the. No, I was never at the church. But they was affiliated for sure.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Was they black or white?

[Josh]

They was white. Both.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Was he a priest?

[Josh]

No, they weren't like part of the church.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

They was in your neighborhood.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Did you tell anybody years later?

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Oh, no.

[Josh]

Now we talk about on the pot all the time. It's like a running joke. They just clown.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

How was you.

[Josh]

Six? This is gonna not be a joke at six and nine.

[Sponsor Voice]

I want to say six and nine.

[Josh]

Yeah. Okay. It could be wrong.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Did you tell him how long did it go on for a while?

[Josh]

No, it was just. It was one and done. I wasn't that good.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Well, you had to suck a dick.

[Josh]

No, I didn't do that. Thank God. Okay, thank God. I held out, but he may have batted my around.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

I'm just trying to get to the bottom of. I'm trying to see why he be blinking.

[Ms. Pat]

Ms. Pat is genuinely concerned. She not letting him answer.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

She just has another question. Cuz I could tell he got child molestation eyes.

[Josh]

Finally everyone thinks this is me, Ms. Pat. Finally I'm being seen.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

I appreciate you because at one point when I couldn't talk about. I bet too. So. So, so they just. So what?

[Josh]

They do.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

You just suck.

[Josh]

I'm not gonna like get in the full details. I will say though, once I started talking about it on the show, you felt better. Yeah, for sure. I picked my. My pops up in Staten Island, New York and he had caught up on some episodes. He was like. He was touched.

[Ms. Pat]

Look how your.

[Josh]

So did the lady trying to tell you this 30 years.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Did the lady make you suck a titty?

[Josh]

Oh, she did too. I yeah. And I thought it was cool, but I. I felt uncomfortable.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, my God.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

You didn't either, did you?

[Josh]

No, I didn't. I didn't.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

You might have to believe that. I'm so sorry.

[Josh]

I'm fine with keeping on this, by the way. This is better than when I went to therapy. This is better.

[Ms. Pat]

She's genuinely concerned.

[Josh]

I know. No, I know. She cares.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Because I was touched. So I'm just asking.

[Josh]

I mean.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

And you know the great part about when no matter what you've been through in life, when you can laugh about it, that means you have control of it. And I'm not trying to be a mean person, but I could tell something had happened to him because he. He don't have no control on his eyelids. So I'm like, what is going on with him?

[Josh]

No, you don't understand. I've been to years. Every. This is the best I felt.

[Ms. Pat]

Okay.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Yes.

[Josh]

So, you know, she was like, oh, all right, you. I see it.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Yeah. Cause I was like, I think he been molested. That's what I said to myself. And that's why I asked you, you know. But I mean, you over it now? I'm over.

[Josh]

Oh, yeah.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

I mean, my mama boyfriend molested me. I can't ride in El Camino. Thank God they don't make them no more.

[Josh]

Yeah, I went to you.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

So stupid. He's just laughing at everything.

[Josh]

No, but this is what they do to me. We have IG clips of him laughing at me being touched. Like the fact that he's just adding to it. Make him laugh more because laughing together, Right?

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Yes.

[Josh]

That I can't ride it.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Them cars are spooky to me. You ever been molested in a one seater that ain't got a one seat. You can't go nowhere. You can hardly lay down.

[Josh]

I should have known. I had no choice.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Is wrong with him. Yeah, most kids get molested in a pickup truck or two seats, one seater.

[Sponsor Voice]

Jesus.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Yeah, but I'm glad you talking about it.

[Josh]

Oh, yeah?

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Yeah. I'm glad you didn't turn the other way.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, my God.

[Josh]

No, I've been talking about it for years. And I ended up just a few years ago in going into couples therapy. And you know, in therapy, that's like the first question who. Who was touched? I was like, I'm trying to talk about this crazy bitch.

[Rory]

Right.

[Josh]

I'm over that. Like, I don't care about what happened then. Can we please talk about what's going on now? So, no, that's. I'm happy I can laugh about it.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Do that affect your relationships?

[Josh]

Yeah, probably.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Do you ever do. Do you ever. In a sexual move and then somehow that older lady titty popping your head and you can't finish sucking the titty?

[Josh]

Maybe it wasn't an attractive titty for the flashes that I have during the entire thing. It was.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

It.

[Josh]

I tried to block out a lot of this.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Was it a long. How was she?

[Josh]

I was like nine. I would guess if her titty was.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Lost, she had to be in her 40s.

[Josh]

40S, for sure.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Yeah, because 30 titties still hold up.

[Josh]

I mean, then there was one time with a babysitter, but, like, I was an active participant. It would be technically molestation, but I was fine with it.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

The babysitter was white?

[Josh]

Yes, she was white. Y family member, too, but not like a direct. You your cousin? No, I've not a cousin.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

You said it was a family member.

[Josh]

But like, you know, like family. Like neighborhood family. Not like, not blood friend of the family from Queens.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Oh, I didn't know they get down like that up here.

[Josh]

Oh, for sure.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

That sounds like some Alabama. You get it? I'm sorry. Maybe I thought it was Alabama cause you white. I had no idea it was uphill.

[Sponsor Voice]

I'm sorry.

[Ms. Pat]

She think Rory is, like, redneck white. This nigga's from New York. He's from the hood.

[Josh]

Like, he from. You know.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

He talking about cousins and long titties and Pratt pals, you know, not long.

[Josh]

Titties and family friends.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

I'm just saying, I just. It sounded like the South.

[Josh]

No, not at all. But somebody we consider like, family friend type. But she. She was. Have you seen her? No, I haven't seen her in a long, long time.

[Ms. Pat]

Okay.

[Josh]

I didn't even consider that me losing my virginity because I considered me losing my virginity when I was 14 because I was probably who you lost it with.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

No wonder you like black pussy so much. White pussy. They tucked you.

[Josh]

Yeah, I've never even gone down that path now.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Yeah, well, they all forced it on you, so it turns you off.

[Josh]

And now that I think about it, like, when I was growing up, the nicest people to me were black women. This is actually more therapy than I think I've ever gotten. I've never even put those two and two together.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

You can write me a check.

[Josh]

You keep on talking about how good.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

This shit is, Ms. Pat. There you go.

[Josh]

Oh, I never even put two and two together there.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Yeah, so that's probably why you attracted to black people and black women. Because every time there Was black people.

[Josh]

Around when I was.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

I mean, you didn't tell them?

[Josh]

I. Me and Alex was like, yo, you know what the just happened?

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Well, I'm. They. But black people didn't molest you.

[Josh]

No, I was never molested by black.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

I think mentally you.

[Josh]

A wild sentence to say. That's just a crazy sentence to say. I'm just no black person. Never molested me.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

So that's. That's why you. That's why you like black women, because white women threw it on you. So you were like.

[Josh]

You took them easy.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

They took your dick. So you don't want no part of them.

[Josh]

Yeah, I never even put.

[Ms. Pat]

It's funny. But she makes a good point.

[Josh]

Yeah. I'm not even joking around. That might be the most fair point.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah.

[Josephine]

Okay.

[Ms. Pat]

I never thought about it.

[Josh]

Maybe they was right. I do have a fetish.

[Sponsor Voice]

Maybe.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

A fetish with what?

[Josh]

That's always been a weird joke on Twitter, which I don't.

[Ms. Pat]

They say that he fetishizes black women.

[Josh]

But every time I. I brought up, like, black women took care of me as a kid. Like, it's always. It's never been a sexual.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

What you mean they took care of you? You had a nanny?

[Josh]

No, I've live. Lived with the Jamaican family when I was homeless. Like, oh, okay.

[Rory]

Oh, you.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Oh, you. Oh, you one of them Eminem's. You ain't no Baron Trump. You a Eminem.

[Josh]

The next season for Ms. My Got Batted Around. I had to get out the house.

[Ms. Pat]

I had to run away. Oh, my.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Bless your little heart. I'm glad you're doing good. I really am.

[Ms. Pat]

I'm glad you're doing good, Rory.

[Josh]

My eyes are still batting. I don't know if I am.

[Sponsor Voice]

Oh, my.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Well, it slowed down since we got that out.

[Josh]

Yeah. No, I feel better now. Yeah, I feel like I've been seeing.

[Ms. Pat]

His eyes slowed down. Respect.

[Josh]

Yeah, he won't.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

I thought he had Tourette's earlier.

[Rory]

I was like, what the fuck wrong with his eyes?

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

But I could tell there was trauma behind his pupil.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

Anyways, this pat is crazy.

[Josh]

You weren't. You weren't one of the lucky ones.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, my God.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

What you mean lucky ones?

[Josh]

I mean, he's the only one on the couch that has been molested.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes.

[Josh]

No, you haven't got us to the top.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, never.

[Rory]

Okay.

[Ms. Pat]

But I did read your story about it ain't fun. Well, no. I mean, no, we're laughing about it and that's. That's great that we can. But no, it's Nothing fun about that, but that is the greatest read I think Rory has ever gotten in his life. I don't know how you figured all of that out just by him blinking his eyes, but I'm a black mama.

[Josh]

We know.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

You know how you bring a woman home, Your mom be like, hey, let me tell you, that's a hole right there. Oh, yeah, my house. A black mama could say that got an std. We can tell you right off the. We can tell you right off the map.

[Josh]

You.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

You ain't got nothing right there.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, I think. I think that is something that I think protected me growing up. Is that having a strong black mom? Yeah, definitely.

[Josh]

Because I'm saying, because my mother was white. That's why I was touched. Like, you've met my mother. I love your mom.

[Ms. Pat]

Great woman. I'm not trying to.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Well, let me say this. We're culturally different. So when you're white, I think it's more free, you know? Like, you don't have to have that talk. Nobody told you, don't you go out that motherfucking door. When you go out that door, you make black kids go out the door. And they say, make sure your drawers are clean in case you get hit by a car. We always were told that. I don't know why clean underwear is important. If a nigga on drug you 30.

[Ms. Pat]

Miles down the street, never mind, my leg is shattered. But like my girls shows up.

[Josh]

So we nasty Astro.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Black parents always had to have a conversation with their child, and white parents have never had to have those conversations with the police.

[Rory]

Wait, with.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Don't do this. Don't do this. Look over your shoulder, pay attention. So it's just different. It doesn't make your mama weak. It's just the things that you. That. That y' all had to endure. That. That we had to endure, that y' all didn't have to endure. So your life was a little more like a flower. Oh, do what I want to do where he is. Well, his mom said, let me talk to you, little John, when you take your ass out of his door both way. Anybody touch your drawers, you tell me. Cause I'm gonna kill a for sucking on you. So that's what a black parents tell me. Anybody touch you, I kill them.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

And I. When I first got married to my husband, I used to tell my daughter, because that's just not his daddy. I said, let me tell you something. If this man ever touched you, I want y' all to know that I would love. I love y' all way More than I love him, I kill his ass. Cause I had been molested. And every day I gave my kids a child molestation story on the way to school. I said, if he touch you, I will kill him. Till finally, my daughter was in eighth grade. She said, mama, the man ain't gonna touch me. It's been five years. And I stopped asking. But I had to let her know.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

You know, anybody touch you, especially I don't move this man into. Moved us into the house with this man. I know him, but you don't really never know a person.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

So that's the talk I had to have with my kid and my son, me. Because people digging booties, so I had to make sure nobody was gonna be digging in my sons.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. That is something that I like getting older, having talks with women. Like, I never realized how many women actually experienced that in. In their home.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Yes.

[Josh]

And I don't think that's a racial thing at all. I know that's across the board.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Well, you know, what I'm saying is, I think with black families, we have the conversation more where, you know, we set the kids down and say whatever.

[Ms. Pat]

Where.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

You know, a lot of times with white people, y' all act like it don't exist till it exists.

[Josh]

Yeah. I mean, I can only speak for my family. And the more I learned once I started having those conversations with my mom and what she went through, I was like, we allowed him around.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Yes.

[Josh]

So I see what you said. I'm not gonna speak. I'm not speaking for all whites, but I can speak for my family in that regard. Once I learn more, I was like, why you let him? Well, see, he was there every holiday, and he did that.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

But the thing with. Okay, so when you have a child molester in the family and your uncle is a child molester, they say, so the black family tell you, look here, your uncle be touching kids. So don't go over there with that nigga. Okay? Stay away from Uncle John or uncle. Whatever we tell. We told that before we go to the barbecue. Can he come to the barbecue? Yes, but everybody gonna be watching his ass. Everybody know what. And we gonna tell them, kid, if he touch you, we gonna kill him. So all the kids know he child molester. Chester. Chester Molester.

[Josh]

Chester the Molester.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

So we stayed away from.

[Josh]

We put that on a house on our block. I have no idea to this day if it was. He never touched anybody in the neighborhood. It was just the house that was. And everyone would say, chester Molester lives there.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah, yeah.

[Josh]

I don't know. If it was just like, a kid.

[Ms. Pat]

Thing, that would definitely work.

[Josh]

Where's Chester the molester? I didn't know that was a universal thing.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. Yes, definitely.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

So that I think that's the culture different is that African American, black people say it out loud and other cultures.

[Josh]

Either way, everybody's getting touched. So, I mean, I think, I don't know if the verbal conversation we're having is not.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

I think every molestation is in every race. Like, I was just talking about that movie on. What's the name of that movie? Adopted In Plain Sight. You ever seen that? Yeah, that was the craziest. That man slept with the whole family and kept kidnapping the daughter. You couldn't have that chance. In no black household. He'd have been. As soon as he sucked the daddy penis, everybody would have killed him. But you don't get those kind of chances. Yeah, that was the craziest.

[Josh]

Outside of that being the sickest part of the entire premise, the fact that homie got on that camera and was like, he sucked my dick, too. That was like the last episode. I was like, wait, you've been on this whole series? The whole time, it was like, listen, man, I, I.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

I was sitting there.

[Josh]

Watching that his R. Is that good on me, too?

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Like I said, I said how?

[Josh]

I said I couldn't resist.

[Ms. Pat's Friend]

Is everybody this stupid? In rural towns, this got to be the craziest ever. But those are the things that even though those neighbors knew it or they, or they. Some of the neighbors suspected it, nobody said it out loud. Nobody went over there and had a talk with that family in all neighborhoods. They would have knocked on the door and had a talk with the mom. Hey, he be touching K. Oh, he been to prison. And I think it' now, I think it's more prominent now in, in all communities because they have that, that, that Predator watch, you know, Predator app. Yeah, you have the, you. You know, when I was living in Plainfield, Indiana, every time somebody moved into a neighborhood that had been the jail for molestation or rape, you got to register. Yeah, you had to register so you would get an email. A child molester just moved three days, three doors down. But back in those days, you didn't have it. So people didn't talk about it, but the black community always talked about it. It.

[Sponsor Voice]

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[Josh]

There's a million things to stress about when flying overweight luggage, TSA lines, delays, overpriced airport lunches. Your rental car shouldn't be one of them with Avis first, your rental comes with a personal concierge who meets you at arrivals, hands you the keys to a premium car, and refills it for you at market price when you're done. You've rented before, but trust me when I say you've never rented quite like this. This welcome to Avis first visit Avis.com to learn more.

[Rory]

This is an I Heart podcast.