Checking In With Ms. Pat

Summary

New Rory & MAL — Checking In With Ms. Pat

Episode Date: November 6, 2025
Podcast Network: iHeartPodcasts & The Volume

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Episode Overview

This episode welcomes the irrepressible comedian and actress Ms. Pat for an unfiltered, laugh-out-loud, and candid conversation on comedy, family, trauma, television, and personal growth. Ms. Pat holds court alongside co-hosts Rory and Ginger, sharing wild stories, dropping sharp humor, and reflecting deeply on her journey from Atlanta’s rough streets to Netflix and BET stardom. The episode stands out for its blend of raw honesty about trauma and survival, quick-witted banter, and memorable cultural commentary.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Comedy, Culture & Ms. Pat’s Career

• Getting on the Pod: Ms. Pat jokes about how her PR person, Pam, hustles to get her booked, although she doesn’t actively follow podcasts. (03:06)
  • Ms. Pat: “If you need a PR person, get Pam.” [03:11]
• First Impressions: She jokes about coming into the studio expecting “two white boys, one ginger, one white,” demonstrating her trademark observational humor. (03:48)
• Living in New York vs. Atlanta:
  • Ms. Pat expresses her strong preference for Atlanta over New York and shares colorful observations about NYC’s crowdedness and “bumpin’ bums.” (05:45)
  • Ms. Pat: “New York got great food, dirty city, too many people… y’all bums be talking to everybody. My bums stay to they self.” [05:45]
• Dating and Cultural Stereotypes:
  • She immediately picks up on Ginger’s clean style and jokes it must be because he dates Black women, weaving playful teasing with biting cultural insight. (06:49–08:35)
  • Ms. Pat: “Only a black woman can put that sweat in a white… we clean y’all the fuck up.” [07:05]
  • The group riff on differences in grooming standards and comedic perceptions in Black and white communities, particularly about shoes and self-presentation.

2. The Ms. Pat Show, Creative Control & Pushing Boundaries

• Balancing TV and Touring:
  • Ms. Pat emphasizes why she keeps touring and doing her podcast, despite having a successful TV show:
  • Ms. Pat: “I never stop touring because I don’t ever want to depend on somebody to feed my family... I like being in control of myself. I don’t ever want to have to go beg anybody to do nothing.” [10:54]
• TV vs. Podcast Freedom:
  • While TV requires boundaries, the podcast lets Ms. Pat be fully uncensored—she values this outlet for her real thoughts. [10:39]
• Censoring Content on TV:
  • Ms. Pat dives into a story about an episode idea that was blocked for using racial slurs, unpacking generational changes in language and sensitivity.
    • Ms. Pat: “We did a race episode about how the younger generation find everything to be racist… The word Jap Slap... I didn’t know that was a racist term until my husband told me…” [11:42]
    • Ms. Pat: “They let me put in chink, but not Jap slap.” [12:49]
    • The hosts discuss comedy, context, networks’ standards, and shifting sensibilities.

3. Stories from Home: Family, Atlanta, and LGBTQ Topics

• Family Dynamics and Vetting Partners:
  • Ms. Pat shares a hilarious and real perspective on her daughter's relationships, revealing she won't even remember a girlfriend’s number until they hit five years together. (19:14–20:39)
    • Ms. Pat: “She got to be in your life at least five years before I even lock her phone number in my phone.” [20:08]
  • Playful banter about Black “stud” lesbians, family rules for meeting significant others, and the unique dynamics within LGBTQ families.
• Gays in Atlanta:
  • Ms. Pat notes the vibrant presence of gay culture in modern Atlanta compared to her childhood, and discusses how gay men “do makeup better than women.” (16:50–30:06)

4. Comedy Influences & Storytelling Approach

• Inspirations:
  • Ms. Pat credits Richard Pryor, Bernie Mac, and Red Fox for shaping her comedic voice, emphasizing storytelling about real-life experiences, especially hardships growing up.
    • Ms. Pat: “Everybody was like, girl, you got stories like Richard Pryor… so I started to research him, buy his albums and listen to them. He told a lot of stories about growing up in a brothel, and I grew up in a looker house, a bootleg house. So we kind of had similar lives…” [15:55]

5. Netflix Special & Gender, Race and Pay Parity in Comedy

• Netflix Special Experience:
  • Ms. Pat’s pride in her Netflix special is clear (“Y’all wanna hear something crazy?”), noting Robert Townsend directed it and Wanda Sykes produced. [22:17–22:48]
• On Ms. Monique & Equality in Showbiz:
  • She recognizes ongoing inequity along gender and racial lines, supports Monique’s fight, but notes her own experience has differed thanks to negotiating and being able to say ‘no.’
    • Ms. Pat: “Ain’t never equal in this country, no matter what job you have, it’s either gonna be a man make more than a woman or white people make more than Black people… But I understood her argument… If you don’t speak up, you’re gonna forever get stepped on…” [23:40]

6. Personal Trauma, Healing, & Turning Pain Into Comedy

• Ms. Pat and Rory’s Shared Discussions of Childhood Molestation:
  • A raw conversation where both Ms. Pat and Rory candidly discuss being molested as children, how it affected them, and how they now process and joke about it as adults.
    • Ms. Pat: “No matter what you’ve been through in life, when you can laugh about it, that means you have control of it.” [41:30]
    • Ms. Pat: “My way of controlling it is to find the funny in it. Because if I don’t, I could be somewhere sitting and crying about it.” [55:03]
• Cultural Differences in Dealing with Abuse:
  • Ms. Pat describes how Black families talk more openly and directly about molestation, warning kids and sharing information, in contrast to the silence she perceives among white families.
    • Ms. Pat: “When I first got married to my husband, I used to tell my daughter, because that’s just not his daddy… If this man ever touched you, I want y’all to know that I love y’all way more than I love him. I’ll kill his ass…” [49:56]
• Making Comedy from Trauma:
  • She talks about her method of transforming traumatic experiences into comedy—a process of reclaiming power and helping others process pain through laughter.
    • Ms. Pat: “All of it. I talk about any and everything that ever happened to me… If it comes up, it always come up as power thing… My way of controlling it is to find the funny in it.” [54:49–55:03]
    • Also discusses her time as a teenage mother by a married man, learning to come to terms with her past, and the varied ways people cope with trauma.

7. Family Court TV: ‘Ms. Pat Settles It’

• Highlight Episode:
  • Ms. Pat describes a real-life family dispute from her new BET show involving her gay daughter and her son fighting over money advanced by the daughter to the son for “script club” outings—illustrating how her real family life ends up on screen.
    • Ms. Pat: “My gay daughter took my son to the script club… she gave him money to throw at the strippers. And she wanted her money back. $500. And he never paid it back, which had happened for real. And they had been arguing about this money for over a year and a case fell out…” [25:29]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On surviving the NYC subway:
  • Ms. Pat: “My thighs, my vagina, my chest—everything was burning… My booty ain’t got shit to do no ginger. Those are muscles I don’t use, baby. I was so glad I had on two panty. Lot of co. It was catching everything from front to back.” [04:47]
• On 'Black woman effect’ on white men:
  • Ms. Pat: “That’s that black vagina, brother. Cause she was like, if you don’t take out them ragged ass New Balances.” [07:18]
• On generational language differences:
  • Ms. Pat: “I wanted to put that word out there because I wanted people to know that it was a derogatory word. What was crazy? The younger generation had never heard of the word… But they let me put in chink. They let me use chink.” [12:18, 12:56]
• On comedy and healing:
  • Ms. Pat: “No matter what you’ve been through in life, when you can laugh about it, that means you have control of it.” [41:30]
• On being in control:
  • Ms. Pat: “I never stop touring because I don’t ever want to depend on somebody to feed my family. You can cut the lights off at The Ms. Pat Show or that court show at any time. But I got to cut the lights off on this tour.” [10:54]
• On family, pain, and self-acceptance:
  • Ms. Pat: “I had to learn just to accept… the hand I was dealt and not cry about it… I could tell these stories in a way we all been here crying, and then I can turn around and tell them in a way we all laughing.” [56:20]
• Therapy vs. Comedy:
  • Rory: “This is better than when I went to therapy. This is better.” [41:19]
  • Ms. Pat: “Laugh about it… you can’t change the past, so don’t sit there and cry about it.” [58:11]
• Ms. Pat on why gay men are beauty icons:
  • Ms. Pat: “You know what I love about a gay man? Cuz they do their makeup better than women do… Can’t nobody beat your face like a gay man.” [29:14, 30:06]

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Important Timestamps & Segments

• 03:11 — Ms. Pat shouts out her PR person and jokes about podcasting.
• 05:45 — Ms. Pat describes the differences between New York and Atlanta, with streetlife and city culture commentary.
• 07:00–08:35 — Exchange about “the Black woman effect” on men’s style and behavior, riffing on interracial dating.
• 10:39–11:33 — Ms. Pat details the importance of creative control, touring, and her perspective on the industry.
• 11:42–12:56 — Discussion on language censorship for TV, generational shifts, and recounting an episode pitched to BET.
• 16:50–30:06 — Banter about Atlanta’s LGBTQ culture, family, and makeup, plus Ms. Pat on her comedy inspirations.
• 23:40–24:41 — Ms. Pat on Ms. Monique’s Netflix pay battle and gender/race equity in comedy contracts.
• 25:29 — Hilarious recounting of the real-life family case that appeared on her BET court show.
• 41:09–58:25 — Deep and unvarnished conversation about childhood trauma, molestation, cultural differences, and healing through comedy.

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Tone & Style

Ms. Pat's style is deeply irreverent, working blue, and unafraid to tackle taboo or difficult subjects with biting, observational humor. The episode mixes playful roasting, occasionally uncomfortable real talk, and powerful stories of survival and self-determination.

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Recommendations

For fans of raw, no-holds-barred comedy, authentic conversations about overcoming trauma, and a behind-the-scenes look at comedy’s evolution, this episode is an essential listen. Ms. Pat’s compelling storytelling and ability to turn adversity into laughter shine throughout this memorable session.

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Ms. Pat’s Netflix special "Y’All Wanna Hear Something Crazy?" is streaming now. Her BET series "Ms. Pat Settles It" and "The Ms. Pat Show" are out or coming soon. Catch more at misspatcomedy.com and follow her on Instagram and Facebook.

Transcript

[Ms. Pat]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Sponsor Voice (PayPal)]

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[Ms. Pat]

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[Rory]

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[Ms. Pat]

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[Ms. Pat]

No Warrior Now. If you need a PR person, hire her.

[Ginger]

She does a job.

[Ms. Pat]

Maybe she would not. Is we rolling?

[Rory]

Oh, okay. Come on, get the mic.

[Ms. Pat]

If you need a PR person, get Pam.

[Ginger]

Shout out.

[Ms. Pat]

Pam was suck a dick to get you on anything?

[Rory]

No, and my issue is that it wasn't mall or I. It was. It was our producer.

[Ginger]

Yeah, we didn't meet Pam. Pam, wherever you are, you owe us something. I like to collect. I like to collect.

[Rory]

Your debt was paid to the wrong collection agency.

[Ginger]

I spoke to Ms. Pat herself, but she told me you were the person to see.

[Ms. Pat]

So, yes, Pam was like a dick. Boy. I be like, pam, how do you get me on this and this stuff? I like. No, no offense, but I've never. I don't watch podcasts.

[Rory]

Like, I'm not offended.

[Ginger]

I love it. I love the fact that have never heard of us.

[Ms. Pat]

You know, when I walked in, I was like, okay, two, two, two white guys. Here we go.

[Ginger]

She thought PE was the other host. Okay. Yeah.

[Rory]

She confused me with Peach, then thought it was me and Peach's show.

[Ms. Pat]

I just thought it were two white boys, one ginger, one white. Yeah. Yeah.

[Rory]

I'm very happy that you separated us.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah.

[Rory]

That makes you feel better?

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, I know about you, Ginger. Y' all burn you. That's one white person. You can't leave in his son that turn into a chill.

[Ginger]

He just came out.

[Rory]

I took that as the way that I was bir even people out. I was like, it happened once.

[Ms. Pat]

No, no, no.

[Ginger]

And how did Ms. Pat know about this?

[Ms. Pat]

I know my STD, some good old.

[Rory]

Gun and real boy pedicil in one week that is gone.

[Ginger]

We are joined today by the talented, the funny comedian, actress, Ms. Pat. Thank you for coming by.

[Rory]

Welcome, welcome. And I love that you had to run around the hot ass subway and then walk up the steps and then see us.

[Ginger]

So.

[Rory]

Ms. Pat, they got you.

[Sponsor Voice (PayPal)]

They got you.

[Ginger]

They running you around today. They had you on the subway series.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes.

[Ginger]

You had to walk up a whole.

[Ms. Pat]

Bunch of up the going down the stairs was gross and nasty, but coming up, you know, I needed that. I needed that rail. And so finally, they just. Some white people just started helping me up step. My chest was burning. I was like, damn. When the last time I moved my legs, my thighs that much apart. I mean, everything was burning. My thighs, my vagina, my chest.

[Rory]

That's cause of the ginger.

[Ms. Pat]

My booty ain't got shit to do no ginger. Those are muscles I don't use, baby. I was so glad I had on two panty. Lot of co. It was catching everything from front to back.

[Rory]

They only helped you up the steps because it's an election week.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah.

[Rory]

So that's the only time.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, well, I don't live here, so it ain't gonna work for me.

[Ginger]

So, Ms. Pat, they got you New York working.

[Sponsor Voice (PayPal)]

Yeah.

[Ginger]

How's the city treating you? How are you enjoying New York? New York is New York because Rory said, where you. Where you live? You said, atlanta. I would never live nowhere else. So Atlanta or nowhere, this.

[Ms. Pat]

You know, New York got great food, dirty city, too many people. I mean, y' all bums be talking to everybody. My bums stay to. They sell.

[Rory]

Yeah, you this lady?

[Ginger]

Well, Atlanta bums, they live in the house with you. Like, they usually stay in the house.

[Ms. Pat]

Well, that's my kid. I'm talking about homeless people.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

This lady walked up and started talking. I thought she was talking to me. And my. Me and Pam.

[Ginger]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

And Pam were used to seeing these cows. I said, what you say, ma'? Am? She's like, don't talk to her. She talking to herself. Well, damn. Thought she was talking to me.

[Rory]

You thought Pam booked you with that almost person?

[Ginger]

Yeah, she thought that was another show she had to do.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, man, Pam, I'm thankful for Pam, but when I tell you, if you need a good PR person, Pam would do it for you. Yes. I'm sitting here with you guys. I was like, pam, what the is this?

[Ginger]

No, listen, last week when they told us she was coming by, I was like, okay. I said, I get a chance to meet Ms. Pat. We've been seeing your clips all on Instagram, going, vi. Very funny.

[Ms. Pat]

Thank you.

[Ginger]

But now we get to sit here and talk in person, get to know the real Ms. Pat. I love talking.

[Ms. Pat]

I'm sorry, I miss. Thank you for a un. Ginger white man.

[Rory]

Yeah, yeah, we're helpful when we're not burning in the sun or burning people.

[Ms. Pat]

You date black women.

[Ginger]

Oh, God, Ms. Pat, you have no idea. That's all he did.

[Ms. Pat]

I can Tell. You can tell what?

[Ginger]

Because he gets the shape of right the corners. When the white boys do the corners.

[Ms. Pat]

Vagina hair that don't lay down.

[Ginger]

Okay.

[Ms. Pat]

This dude got his shoes clean. White dude have the nastiest shoes.

[Ginger]

Okay.

[Ms. Pat]

What they wear? This man's socks match. Only a black woman can put that sweat in a white. We clean y' all the up. I'm telling you. I can tell. I said. I said dress myself. No, you don't.

[Ginger]

You don't dress yourself.

[Ms. Pat]

That's that black vagina, brother. Cause she was like, if you don't take out them ragged ass new b. That's what she would say. But his wife just let him come out. How? Any kind.

[Rory]

Which is a fact.

[Ms. Pat]

It's a different. But you don't date black women, right? Oh, you do.

[Ginger]

Oh, oh, he love. He love him.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, what?

[Ginger]

He love him.

[Ms. Pat]

His pat that must. Can't dress. But I could just tell. I can tell that he was into all culture.

[Rory]

So you're saying metaphorically, black vagina laid.

[Sponsor Voice (PBS)]

Laid.

[Rory]

Laid my. My fit out. You're saying a black woman laid my fit out today?

[Ms. Pat]

No, I. I said a black woman gave you some pussy and gave you some swag.

[Sponsor Voice (Total Wireless)]

That'.

[Ginger]

She knocked. She knocked the style into it.

[Rory]

Knocked the polo into me in 08.

[Ms. Pat]

It makes you think when you go in the closet, you be like, I can't do that. I can't do that wax shit. Because one thing about white people is they wear nasty shoes. They don't care. Black people don't.

[Rory]

You.

[Ms. Pat]

You only way you gonna kill somebody with some nasty shoes. And they black. They ain't got no money. I mean, or they just homeless, but black people. You can see a man in a wheelchair, handicapped, been shot and can't move his feet. But his shoes is fresh as hell.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

Am I lying?

[Ginger]

That's a fact.

[Ms. Pat]

So we keep clean sh. When that your shoes were clean, I said, yeah.

[Rory]

No wonder he be burning everybody.

[Ginger]

He got some black pussy.

[Rory]

Not to be gay, but it was. It was black men. When I was a kid, I knew if I walked out of the house, I wasn't making it to the end of the block unless we roll.

[Ms. Pat]

You had a black stepdaddy?

[Rory]

I did not.

[Ginger]

I'm sorry.

[Ms. Pat]

I'm asking too many. I thought he beat the black gazillion. I'm sorry, baby.

[Rory]

To my mother.

[Ms. Pat]

Me too, sir. I didn't know. I love you too. Oh, I done came in and started some bullshit. So you grew up in a black neighborhood?

[Rory]

It was mixed, but yeah, it Was a lot of black women.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, you do that, they gonna wear your ass out.

[Rory]

Yeah, I was trying to get to the industry where the black women were, where I could impress them, but it was mainly not to get clowned. The moment I stepped out, the. Especially when you had something fresh on. You thought she was killing it. Yeah. Let me turn around.

[Ms. Pat]

Did you wear fubu?

[Rory]

Of course.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh. Oh.

[Rory]

We were more of a South Pole family.

[Ginger]

He's deep into the culture, so, you.

[Ms. Pat]

Know, that was for us. By us.

[Rory]

What the fuck? I thought that was subjected.

[Ms. Pat]

It was not suggested. Whatever the word you just said, it was for us. By us. The hell are you doing with it now?

[Ginger]

Ms. Pat? We was talking. You said you don't, do you. You haven't really focused on your podcast.

[Ms. Pat]

No. Well, I do it every week and.

[Ginger]

But you're so busy now.

[Ms. Pat]

I'm busy.

[Ginger]

You all getting that money, Ms. Pat?

[Ms. Pat]

Well, I try to get all the money. I do, but TV came along and, you know, the tours and stuff picked up, so I just didn't have time. And plus, my co hosts are in Indiana, and so I moved to Atlant back to Atlanta, where I was from. So it just put a big gap in there, and now it ain't as big as it used to be, but I do it. I always done it just for the fans. I wanna stop it, but my fans like it.

[Ginger]

Yeah, but you got your podcast. Is that could be like your. You know, where you really get your shit off?

[Ms. Pat]

I do get my shit off.

[Ginger]

Yeah. Cause I. Oh, no, you talk shit. I know that, but I'm just saying, like, the podcast. Cause TV is. They kind of gotta.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, it's very.

[Ginger]

A little strict. It's a little. Mindy, they love Ms. Pat, but they gotta keep Ms. Pat in this because it's like, all right, we can't go too crazy, Ms. Pat. We got to keep it. This is television, the podcast. You can just.

[Ms. Pat]

I can be free. Yes, I can. You know, so you get a little pushback on some of the things I want to do on a Ms. Pat show, on Ms. Pat setters it. But I'm free on the podcast, and that's why I keep it, and that's why I still tour. You notice a lot of comedians who get TV shows, they stop touring.

[Ginger]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

You know, because the money can be good, especially if you're on network tv. I never stop touring because I don't ever want to depend on somebody to feed my family. You can cut the lights off at the miss Pat show or that Court show at any time. I got to cut the lights off on this tour. I got to cut the lights off on the podcast. So it's what. I like being in control of myself. I don't ever want to have to go beg anybody to do nothing. Oh, please don't cancel the show. Cancel the show. It's your show, right?

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

You know I'm there. Cause you paying me, right? If you stop paying me, I ain't gonna come. So. And that's why I continue to tour, because I like. I just. I'm a person. Like, I don't like to be led. I like to lead. Right.

[Rory]

What's. What's. Some of the wildest bits or premises that they said no to for the misspach show that they was in the writers room or execs was like, well, we did a.

[Ms. Pat]

We did a race episode about how the younger generation find everything to be racist. Offensive. And back in the day, you know, people said stuff and it just went on about it. Your grandmama and your mom and daddy. So the word Jap Slap Betty was. You ever heard the word Jack slap? Yeah. Well, I didn't know that was a racist term until my husband told me because I grew up with a black mama. Every day, she was like, I jab slapped shit out you. You know, we didn't know that.

[Rory]

You know what? You know, my dad used to call pop quizzes.

[Ms. Pat]

What?

[Rory]

A Jap test.

[Sponsor Voice (Mint Mobile / Odoo)]

Damn.

[Ms. Pat]

But I didn't know that was a racist term, so I wanted to put it over in the show, and they was like, no, because at the time, people was attacking. Attacking Asian people. But I wanted to show I wanted to put that word out there because I wanted people to know that it was. It was a derogatory wor. What was crazy? The younger generation had never heard of the word. I'm like, we gotta put Jap slay. What the hell is Jap slap? And the people at BET plus at the time was around my age, and they was like, you can't put it in. But they let me put in what they let me put in chink. They let me use chink.

[Ginger]

No way.

[Ms. Pat]

That's worse. And we was trying to tell them it's worse.

[Ginger]

They let you use chink, but not Jap slap.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes.

[Rory]

They had Shane Gillis on SNL for 24 hours, and then they went through his podcast when he used chink and fired him right away.

[Ginger]

Yeah. How is that even possible? That's crazy.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah.

[Ginger]

Let you get that off.

[Ms. Pat]

But. But we didn't use it we was just trying to say the message we were saying is words that what the parents used to say, we can't say anymore. And a lot of times parents don't know. Times have changed.

[Ginger]

Yeah, right.

[Ms. Pat]

So you know, you might hear somebody say, call somebody, you know, the F word for a gay person. When we said that back in the day, you can't say that today.

[Ginger]

Right.

[Ms. Pat]

So that's what the whole episode was about.

[Ginger]

How much of the writing do you do on the show?

[Ms. Pat]

I don't really. I do the ideals, so I do the stories for my life and Jordan E. Cooper take it to the right room. And I don't really write. I go in and tell stories and then they create it. I'm not a. I guess you can say I'm a creator. I don't really put pen to paper. I can stand over your shoulder and tell you what I see or tell you what's in my head. But I don't spell good enough to be writing shit. Yeah, I ain't gonna be great. But I tell you a good story.

[Sponsor Voice (Degree Cool Rush)]

Right?

[Ms. Pat]

That's what I do.

[Rory]

Is there a story from Atlanta that you couldn't have put in the show that you knew out the gate after the Jap slap shit that you was like, you know, I'm gonna keep this story for myself and I won't even.

[Ginger]

Jap slap didn't work this story well.

[Ms. Pat]

Jeff's. Well, that didn't get in. But like I said, the other word did get in. No, because they pretty much. The show is based off my real life. So 90% of that show is real.

[Ginger]

Okay.

[Ms. Pat]

It's things that happen to me or things that I know people been through. So they pretty much let us do anything. I did an abortion episode where a middle aged woman had an abortion without her husband consent because I wanted to tell the world it was my choice, okay? It's my body. Just because I'm married to you doesn't mean you have control over my body. Which, which. And then, you know, I had a little pushback from the network. They said, well, who do that? I said, I know my friend did it. She didn't even tell her husband she was pregnant. Who want to have a baby in 40 years old, right? And then you a 90 year old mama. Don't nobody want that.

[Rory]

I want to see the follow up episode with the 90 year old mother. That's the episode that I, that I want to see.

[Ms. Pat]

You know, they have a few pushback, but you know, thank God this show is based off of me. So they do allow a lot of things. And I think I've set a tone of the type of comedian I am. I don't hold back. I like to push the envelope. I like to go there. I like to say things other people thinking about saying but too scared to say it.

[Ginger]

Right.

[Ms. Pat]

So, you know, I think when people come to work with me, they know that they're gonna get the real right. I don't. I don't. I. I hate people who talk like, oh, my God, girl, you talking. Breathe. Talk to me like you talk to your creditor.

[Ginger]

So, like, your creditors.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes, if you don't talk to your creditors. Holding your breath. Don't talk to me. Holding your breath. Right.

[Ginger]

That's a fact. What was some of your. Your comedic inspirations for your style of comedy? Who are some of the comedy.

[Ms. Pat]

Richard Pryor, Bernie Mac, Red Fox. Red Fox, Yes. Though I was a big. When I first started doing comedy, everybody was like, girl, you got stories like Richard Pryor. So I didn't know Richard Pryor was a comedian. I thought he was just an actor because I seen him on tv. So I started to research him and buy his albums and listen to them. And he told a lot of stories about growing up in a brothel. And I grew up in a looker house, a bootleg house. So we kind of had similar lives, and we saw the same things in those types of houses. And so I just said. I said, you know what? I think I'm a storyteller. So that's what I tell. I tell a lot of crazy stories on. On stage.

[Ginger]

Well, Richard Pryor is one of the greatest.

[Ms. Pat]

He is one of the greatest.

[Ginger]

For me, he's probably the greatest comedian.

[Ms. Pat]

I would say he is the greatest comedian.

[Rory]

Seeing. Seeing what you saw in Atlanta growing up. What's the difference between that Atlanta and this Atlanta right now?

[Ms. Pat]

That Atlanta. This Atlanta? Yeah, it's a lot of gay people.

[Rory]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

They everywhere. My daughter.

[Ginger]

Your daughter's gay as hell.

[Rory]

She's not, like. It's not questionable.

[Ginger]

Yeah, no, she's, like, all the way gay.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, she's. But she's a girl.

[Ginger]

But is she. Is she, like, masculine?

[Ms. Pat]

No, she's the girl.

[Ginger]

Okay. She's.

[Ms. Pat]

But her girlfriend look like you.

[Ginger]

Okay. All right.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. All right.

[Rory]

She has to look out for Young Ma when she's in New York. Type. Type.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. My daughter love Young Ma.

[Ginger]

Oh, she do mma. Mma. Young Ma.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, that. That girl. She love that girl.

[Rory]

Feminine lesbians. Young Ma is like. They Brad P. Telling you, like, yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

She like, oh, I Love the final boss of.

[Rory]

Of the.

[Ms. Pat]

Like, she. I'm like, she look like the rest of you. Is it because she a rapper?

[Ginger]

Yeah.

[Rory]

I have questions with this. How do you vet like, the. That your daughter brings?

[Ms. Pat]

That's a. Yeah, that's like.

[Ginger]

I mean, masculine lesbian.

[Ms. Pat]

No.

[Ginger]

That'S different than.

[Rory]

What's it.

[Ginger]

No, masculine presenting.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Okay.

[Ms. Pat]

He gay. What's the. I mean, not. No, he got the head from Pam.

[Rory]

He not gay.

[Ms. Pat]

My hair stylist is gay.

[Ginger]

Josh.

[Ms. Pat]

I thought that my hairstyle. Peach.

[Ginger]

Josh.

[Ms. Pat]

Wait a minute. I thought that was my hair stylist. So I was like, what's the. I didn't know that. What you. He gave. Like, you just.

[Ginger]

Josh said, I am not gay.

[Ms. Pat]

I'm so sorry, Josh. I don't have on my glasses. I mean, he likes his own.

[Ginger]

He's funny as fuck, man.

[Rory]

All right, so when I was growing up, a was a masculine, forward facing lesbian.

[Ms. Pat]

Like, she would dress like us because.

[Rory]

She was facing me forward.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rory]

I was looking at her face.

[Ms. Pat]

You backwards. The fuck is a forward facing. What's a forward facing?

[Rory]

Like, that's how you present yourself, like, as a masculine lesbian is what I always thought it was.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah.

[Rory]

So I was right with the definition. So you're saying that's what your daughter likes?

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, my daughter likes. Yeah.

[Rory]

So how do you vet. Would you vet that? The same way you would if a man came in the house.

[Ms. Pat]

I don't be vetting them. She don't keep them long enough. She switched tweet the word. Oh, st.

[Rory]

Please take it out.

[Ginger]

Stud, though.

[Rory]

Just believe it.

[Ms. Pat]

No, not studs.

[Ginger]

Okay?

[Ms. Pat]

The term is stud. Right?

[Rory]

Okay, Just believe it.

[Ms. Pat]

So I thought it was derogatory. So how do you do this again?

[Rory]

How so? So when the stud comes in the house, how do you vet the stud? Is it the same way that you would vet maybe a man coming in the house? Well, just based off, like, how they.

[Ms. Pat]

We have rules. Because at first I was meet the girls, and my daughter was just going through them. If I don't want to meet your girl and she got. She got to be in your life at least five years before I even lock her phone number in my phone. So this girl just got to the fifth Thanksgiving last year. So now I talk to her.

[Ginger]

Because now you talk to her.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, because in the gay community, they turn over. They turn over.

[Rory]

They move in right away.

[Ms. Pat]

They'll turn over a girlfriend, and then that girl will be with the other girl and all of them go on vacation together. It's the weirdest thing. So I just got tired of my daughter bringing all these girls around, and I just. I didn't deal with it.

[Rory]

Third Thanksgiving. How did you feel the third.

[Ms. Pat]

You can't come to my house until you. We have a rule. You cannot meet me until you five years in. Oh, I won't. I. I don't want to deal with you until we five years in.

[Rory]

Okay.

[Ms. Pat]

If I see you out, I'm. You can't go on vacation with us. I don't talk to you. I say hey and bye. All of that because my daughter ain't going to be with him long.

[Ginger]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

My. My daughter treat lesbian. Lesbianism like a buffet.

[Ginger]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

She's just eating them.

[Ginger]

Yeah.

[Rory]

It'S free. I mean, get my money's worth.

[Ginger]

Ms. Pat, ever seen a stud funeral? Like a stud in the casket?

[Ms. Pat]

What the hell you.

[Ginger]

I said that. I said that like a year ago. I've never seen a stud in the casket. That's what I'm. I think they turn the stone and even put them on top of the churches. I don't. I've never seen a stud in the casket. But a friend of mine told me that as a father owns a funeral home, and most of the time, the family will dress them female presenting in the casket.

[Ms. Pat]

Ooh.

[Sponsor Voice (Total Wireless)]

I think that's.

[Rory]

That's what I was.

[Ginger]

That's what. That's. That's what I said. I said, I don't know if they're happy about that, but I've never seen a stud funeral.

[Sponsor Voice (Greenlight)]

Funeral.

[Ms. Pat]

You know, come to think of, I ain't never seen no stud funeries.

[Ginger]

I'm trying to tell they be turning.

[Ms. Pat]

Them back against their will. I'mma tell my daughter she better get her will together.

[Rory]

When he brought up this theory, I wanted to argue with him, but then I started thinking. I've never seen one either.

[Ginger]

I've never seen a stud in the casket.

[Rory]

I've seen a stud at prom in the casket.

[Ginger]

Have I ever seen a gay man in the casket? Yes.

[Ms. Pat]

Do they turn them back or they turn them over?

[Rory]

They lay like this in the cat.

[Ginger]

Oh, my God.

[Ms. Pat]

We better not get in trouble.

[Ginger]

Oh, my God. Ms. Pat, your special on Netflix. Y' all want to hear something crazy? Even though we heard some crazy shit, Talk to us about doing a Netflix special. How big was that for you?

[Ms. Pat]

That was big. That was my first special. I'm getting ready to shoot my second special on my own in February. But, yeah, it was really big. And I was finally happy. Happy that, you know, Netflix acknowledged me to give me a special. So I was happy and it would mean a lot because one decide produced it and what's his name, the director? Robert Townsend.

[Ginger]

The Robert Townsend.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, Lord, I love me some Robert Townsend.

[Ginger]

Hollywood Shuffle.

[Ms. Pat]

Hollywood Shuffle. Directed it.

[Ginger]

Legendary.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes, yes, yes. He directed it.

[Ginger]

Shout out to Robert. That's one of. That's one of the. For me, I'm a little older than these guys, but for me, Robert Townsend, Keenan, Ivy, Waynes, those were the ones that I kind of found like comedy and television when I was a kid. Those are the two guys that I looked at all the time and watched whatever it was. A movie, obviously In Living Color to me is one of the greatest sitcom shows we ever had. But that's legendary that Robert Townsend directed at. A few years ago, another legendary comedian, Ms. Monique, she came out and had some things to say about the pay that female comedians were receiving versus some of the male comedians. When it came to Netflix and things like that and their stand up specials. How do you feel about that and how do you feel about the landscape of, like, the disparity, the differences between the female comedians versus some of the male comedians? Where you may be funnier than a lot of the male comedians, but the.

[Ms. Pat]

Ain'T never equal in this country, no matter what job you have, it's either gonna be a man make more than a woman or white people make more than black people. So it's never gonna be equal. Equal. You don't play. Don't. Don't you say you guys found out about that? Yeah. Oh, he was keeping that a secret. Why you think they trying to get rid of dei? So, I mean, I understood her argument and in some places I agree with her. But, you know, that was her fight. That was at the time. That wasn't happening to me. But I'm glad she spoke up about it because this is an industry. If you let it walk over you, it would truly walk over you. You know, people telling Monique, oh, you shouldn't be talking about this. I say, if you feel like you're not being treated right, then speak up. Because if you don't speak up, you're gonna forever get stepped on. That wasn't my fight. I haven't experienced that as far as I can think. Because if you come to me with a price, I'm gonna come back to you and say, ask for this and keep asking for this. And I'm at a position now where, and I'm blessed, where I can say, no, I don't want to do that.

[Ginger]

Right.

[Ms. Pat]

It ain't about the money. I don't want to do that. And I say that all the time.

[Ginger]

Yeah.

[Rory]

I just want to make clear that's not Pam, right?

[Ms. Pat]

No, that's not.

[Ginger]

That's not fair.

[Rory]

Thank God. Like, it just took me a second. We were saying all that. She was on the phone. She hasn't been answering. She just want to make sure that that wasn't Pam for everything that we just said. I thought she was emailing some HR company. She was quiet in the corner. I just want to make sure that was not Pam.

[Ginger]

No, that's not.

[Rory]

And we said that behind her back. Cuz I know she's not going to listen.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes, she going to listen. Pam is my PR person. That's my assistant.

[Rory]

Thank God. With Ms. Pat settles it. That's out now when this comes out, right?

[Ginger]

Yep.

[Rory]

What was your favorite case? Just like as a teaser, obviously you have to give away everything. What was your favorite case? Going into the season, I think. Did you even settle it?

[Ms. Pat]

I think it was my kids. My kids ended up on there. Yes.

[Rory]

With the studs.

[Ms. Pat]

No, no, no, no. It's my gay daughter and my. My fat son. And so my gay daughter took my son to the script club and he didn't have no money, so she gave him money to throw at the scrippers. And she wanted her money back. 500. And he never paid it back, which had happened for real. And they had been arguing about this money for over a year and a case fell out. And it was like, do you have a case? And they told him, and they didn't even tell me they was gonna be on the show. And they walk in and I'm thinking like, both of y' all owe me money. What the hell I'm gonna look like? Give you some money.

[Sponsor Voice (Degree Cool Rush)]

Right?

[Ms. Pat]

And. Cause I had just paid for my daughter teeth to get done and she didn't pay me for that. And I'm always helping my son out, so I just threw the case. Out. Out.

[Ginger]

That's a good mom right there.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah.

[Rory]

No, but I would make the case with the like, all right, you got the daughter the teeth. Give me some lipo.

[Ms. Pat]

Who need lipo?

[Rory]

Fat son.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, the fat son. No, he don't. He need a new joystick for his game.

[Rory]

Do they have that surgery?

[Ms. Pat]

He 40 years old and all he do is play the game. He said he want to be a screamer. I said, sir, you're 40 years old. Nobody wants to look at you. They gonna scream when they see your big black ass on this. Screaming him. He Wait till he get 40 years old. K or K, whatever that little kid name is. He done made all the broke Negroes think they can get rich by streaming. He cornered the market, Y', all, It's over. You going to have to go do something else. My son even tried to get on screaming with his shirt off. And I'm strolling one night. He had one. He had two people looking at him. Me and somebody else got to stand out.

[Rory]

Why you ain't posted two people? Like, why you ain't post my. Why post my link?

[Ms. Pat]

I'm killing them, right? You take your fat ass, you sty the fat. I'm all in the comments, right? You ain't got no job, you big black. I'm killing him. He blocked me.

[Rory]

He blocked his only subscriber, his only self.

[Ginger]

Oh, my God.

[Rory]

What was he streaming? He was just playing.

[Ms. Pat]

He was playing video game with everybody else. What everybody know him is my midpassing, y'. All. He got get out this game. He need to go look for a.

[Ginger]

Job so they know that something, son.

[Ms. Pat]

Well, the people on there.

[Ginger]

Yeah, it was only two people.

[Ms. Pat]

The people you playing the game with knew I was. He knew he was my son. He owe them to tell everybody I'm their mama.

[Ginger]

Oh, my God. How's BET treating you? How's the. How's the business over there?

[Ms. Pat]

It's great. You know, it's great. I've been over there for five seasons, so it's. It's been really good. I don't have any problem, but I don't have no problem nowhere I go because I speak up.

[Rory]

Yeah, what's. What's the difference between the two shows?

[Ms. Pat]

One is a sitcom, and one is a.

[Rory]

More like a reality as far as, like, the process and how that works.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, it takes me. It takes me two weeks to shoot Ms. Pat setters it. And it takes me two to three months to shoot the Ms. Pat show because it's a sitcom in front of a live studio audience.

[Ginger]

Okay.

[Rory]

Oh, we have to get. For the next season. We gotta be in the live studio.

[Ginger]

Yeah, we gotta pull up. We gotta pull up one of the two.

[Ms. Pat]

It's a. You know what? It's like a backyard celebration.

[Ginger]

Yeah. No, that's why we gotta get there.

[Ms. Pat]

It's so much fun we have. I mean, and the episodes we be writing, as, you know that some are emotional. Mom is hilarious. We try to touch on all kind of stuff. This season, we had a episode about immigration, which was very touching. And so, you know, we had all kind of things Going on this year. So make sure y' all tune in when I give y' all the data, when Ms. Pat's show is dropping.

[Rory]

How did y' all take the immigration angle?

[Ms. Pat]

I don't want to give it away. Not your baby mama. You ain't sleep saying that?

[Rory]

The gays infiltrated Atlanta. That was the immigration.

[Ms. Pat]

The gays, they came from Atlanta. They run Atlanta. You can't do nothing in Atlanta without the gays. I love the gay. You know what I love about a gay man? Because they do their makeup better than women do. They do. They do everything a woman supposed to do, but they do it perfect.

[Ginger]

Why you think that is?

[Ms. Pat]

I. I guess they have more time to practice. I don't know. But you go to those drag shows, you be like, damn, that look good. They have belayed they lashes. They know everything. They the ones started the whole corset thing. Bring your waist in, you know, lift your boobs up high. They know pull, you know, take the tape and pull your eyes back so you can look 20 years younger. All of that came from that community. I just. I love gay men. Who is into makeup. Can't nobody beat your face like a gay man, Mal.

[Rory]

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[Ginger]

Visit boostmobile.com to get started. Delivery available for select devices [e-mail] terms apply.

[Rory]

Today's show is brought to you by our new presenting sponsor, Hard Rock BET Mall. When I landed in Miami last week, the first thing I saw was the Hard Rock Bet sign in the hotel. I said, it's my guys right there. Because when you think of Hard Rock, you're probably thinking of music or world class hotels and casinos. But the Hard Rock Bet app is sports betting, and it hits a little different than the other sport book apps. It's simple, clean. It's packed with new promos every day, starting with your first bet. New customers can place a $5 bet, and if it hit, you're not only getting your winnings, but also $150 in extra bonus bets.

[Ginger]

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[Rory]

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[Ginger]

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[Sponsor Voice (PayPal)]

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[Ms. Pat]

Expires 1231 see paypal.com promoterms Subject to approval. Learn more at paypal.com payinfor PayPal Inc.

[Sponsor Voice (Degree Cool Rush)]

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[Ms. Pat]

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[Rory]

This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Seasons are changing and seasonal depression is definitely real. Not everyone is a psycho like me that likes the cold weather. It can really affect your mood and some people get very very very sad in these months that are coming up. So Better Help is encouraging everyone to reach out and check in on their friends, reconnect with loved ones and remind the people in your life life that you are there. So check in on your strong friends especially in the month of November. Better Help therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs, preferences and their 12 plus years of experience in the industry. Leading match fulfillment rate with over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms, having served over 5 million people globally. And it works with an average rate of 4.9 out of 5 stars with every live session based over 1.7 million client reviews this month. Don't wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist yourself, BetterHelp makes it easy to take that first step. Our listeners get 10% off their first [e-mail] Rorymol that's betterhelp.com Rorymol.

[Ms. Pat]

You circumcised?

[Ginger]

Yes, I'm circumcised. Oh yeah, I'm circumcised.

[Ms. Pat]

Okay. You circumcised?

[Ginger]

He's Irish. I think that's part Irish Catholic.

[Rory]

Yeah, it's like a. Oh yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

They bite y' all skin? Yeah, at the church.

[Rory]

Yeah, they, they, they cut our por skin off and then they touch it.

[Sponsor Voice (Total Wireless)]

Pretty much.

[Rory]

That's what the Irish Catholics do.

[Ginger]

They bite you.

[Ms. Pat]

You remember that man? You remember that priest? I'm online. He was, he was circumcising them people.

[Sponsor Voice (PBS)]

Which one?

[Ms. Pat]

He was putting his mouth on them kids. You remember that? It's on YouTube. It was on YouTube.

[Ginger]

He was putting his mouth on.

[Rory]

Yeah, there was that one. Ah, he was like Filipino. It was like a Buddhist priest though, that was grabbing the kids tongues and.

[Ginger]

Oh no, he said no, that was the, that was the dolly.

[Rory]

That was a Dalai Lama.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, he was grabbing the kids tongue, but one of them was like biting him on them.

[Ginger]

Oh yeah, I didn't see that one.

[Rory]

Yeah, I mean, that wasn't in my parents.

[Ms. Pat]

You Irish, right?

[Rory]

I mean, you Catholic Irish? I was raised Irish Catholic.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. They do some weird things over there at that church. See, it ain't like the black church. Somebody testified in the middle of the pastor, they back here with these kids. That's what happened at the black church. You, you might get touched one or two times, but somebody gonna tell on his ass. Wait, they ain't gonna let it go on. But then you got to be on all that medication, cuz, you know, they don't put black k all that medication. We cur that right then and there. Yeah. That why you keep blinking your eye. Who touch you?

[Rory]

You don't listen to the show?

[Ms. Pat]

I don't listen to the show. You've been touched.

[Sponsor Voice (Mint Mobile / Odoo)]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Why is it every time we get a comedian on here they ask me.

[Ms. Pat]

I. I knew cause you were blinking your eyes. I can tell your eyes. I knew because he would blink it. You know that's a. That's help. That's a. Y' all don't know. That's a sign that he needs some help.

[Rory]

I thought it was because I had nice eyelashes.

[Ms. Pat]

No. When they be blinking like that, somebody. Somebody messed up his. His equal liberty. His eyelashes take off.

[Rory]

Knock that right.

[Ms. Pat]

Touch you.

[Rory]

I mean they're dead now.

[Ms. Pat]

Who touch you?

[Rory]

You want to tell his government name?

[Ms. Pat]

Well, no.

[Rory]

Who was her government name?

[Ms. Pat]

It was a her.

[Rory]

It was. It was a man and a woman. It was a wild day.

[Ms. Pat]

At the same time. No, it was different times at the church?

[Rory]

No, I was never at the church. But they was affiliated for sure.

[Ms. Pat]

Was they black or white?

[Rory]

They was white.

[Ms. Pat]

Both. Was he a priest?

[Rory]

N. They weren't like part of the church.

[Ms. Pat]

They was in your neighborhood.

[Ginger]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

Did you tell anybody?

[Rory]

Years later he a. Oh no. Now we talk about on the pod all the time. It's like a running joke. They just clown.

[Ms. Pat]

How was you.

[Rory]

Six? This going to not be a joke. Six and nine.

[Ms. Pat]

I want to say six and nine.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

Okay.

[Rory]

It could be wrong.

[Ms. Pat]

Did you tell them how long did it go on for a while?

[Rory]

No, it was just. It was one and done. I wasn't that good.

[Ms. Pat]

Good. Well you had to suck a dick.

[Rory]

No, I didn't do that.

[Ginger]

Thank God.

[Ms. Pat]

Okay.

[Sponsor Voice (PayPal)]

Thank God.

[Rory]

I held out but he may have batted my around.

[Ms. Pat]

I'm just trying to get to the bottom of. I'm trying to see why he be blinking.

[Ginger]

Ms. Pat is. Ms. Pat is genuinely concerned but she not letting him answer.

[Ms. Pat]

She just has another question. Cuz I could tell he got child molestation eyes.

[Rory]

Finally everyone thinks this is me. Ms. Pat Final.

[Ms. Pat]

I'm being seen. I appreciate you cuz at one point when I couldn't talk about. I bet too. So. So, so they just. So what? They do he just suck.

[Rory]

I'm not going to like get in the full details. I will say though once I started talking about on the show you felt bad. Yeah, for sure. I picked my. My pops up in Staten Island, New York and he had caught up on some episodes. He was like. He was touched.

[Ms. Pat]

I was like.

[Ginger]

Look how your was you.

[Rory]

So did the lady you this 30 years.

[Ms. Pat]

Did the lady make you suck a titty or. She did too.

[Rory]

I. Yeah. And I thought it was cool, but I. I felt uncomfortable.

[Ginger]

Oh, my God.

[Ms. Pat]

You didn't either, did you?

[Rory]

No, I didn't. I didn't.

[Ms. Pat]

I'm sorry.

[Rory]

This is hilarious.

[Ms. Pat]

You might have to bleak. I'm so sorry.

[Rory]

I'm fine with keeping office, by the way. This is, this is better than when I went to therapy. This is better.

[Ginger]

She's genuinely concerned.

[Sponsor Voice (Spinquest)]

I know.

[Rory]

No, I know. She cares.

[Ms. Pat]

I was touched. So I'm just asking. I mean. And you know the great part about when no matter what you've been through in life, when you can laugh about it, that means you have control of it. And I'm not trying to be a mean person, but I could tell something had happened to him because he, he, he don't have no controls on his eyelids. So I'm like, what is going on with him?

[Rory]

No, you don't understand. I've been to years. Every. This is the best I felt.

[Ms. Pat]

Okay. Yes. So you.

[Rory]

She was like, oh, all right. You. I see it.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. Cause I was like, I think he been molested. That's what I said to myself. And that's why I asked you, you know. But I mean, you over it now? I'm over it.

[Sponsor Voice (Total Wireless)]

Oh, yeah, I bet.

[Ms. Pat]

I mean, my mama boyfriend molested me. I can't ride in El Camino's. Thank God they don't make them no more.

[Rory]

Yeah, I. I went to you.

[Ms. Pat]

So stupid. He just laughing at everything.

[Rory]

No, but this is what they do to me. We have ig clips of him laughing at me being touched. Like the fact that he just adding to it make him laugh more because.

[Ginger]

Laughing together, right?

[Ms. Pat]

Yes.

[Ginger]

I can't ride it.

[Ms. Pat]

Them cars are spooky to me. You ever been molested in a one seater that ain't got but one seat? You can't go nowhere. You can hardly lay down.

[Rory]

I should have known I had no choice.

[Ms. Pat]

Is wrong with him. Yeah, most kids get molested in a pickup truck or two se. One seater.

[Ginger]

Jesus.

[Ms. Pat]

But I'm glad you talking about it.

[Rory]

Oh, yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

I'm glad you didn't turn the other way.

[Ginger]

Oh, my God.

[Rory]

No, I've been talking about it for years and I ended up just a few years ago in going into couples therapy. And you know, in therapy, that's like the first question who, who was touched? I was like, I'm trying to talk about this crazy bitch. I'm over that. Like, I don't care about what happened. Then can we Please talk about what's going on now. So. No, that's. I'm happy. I can laugh about it.

[Ms. Pat]

Do that affect your relationships?

[Rory]

Yeah, probably.

[Ms. Pat]

Do you ever do. Do you ever. In a sexual move and then somehow that older lady titty popping your head and you can't finish sucking the titty?

[Rory]

Maybe it wasn't an attractive titty. For the flashes that I have during the entire thing.

[Ms. Pat]

It wasn't a lot.

[Rory]

I tried to block out a lot of the shit.

[Ms. Pat]

Was it long titty?

[Rory]

They were.

[Ms. Pat]

How old was she?

[Rory]

Oh, I was like nine. I would guess if her titty was.

[Ms. Pat]

Long, she had to be in her 40s.

[Rory]

40S for sure.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, cuz 30 titty still hold up.

[Rory]

I mean, then there was one time with a babysitter, but like I was an active participant. It would be technically molestation, but I was fine with it.

[Ms. Pat]

The babysitter was white?

[Rory]

Yes, she was white. Y family member number two. But not like a direction.

[Ms. Pat]

You your cousin?

[Rory]

No, I've not a cousin.

[Ms. Pat]

You said it was a family member.

[Rory]

But like, you know, like family. Like neighborhood family. Not like. Not blood friend of the family from Queens.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, I didn't know they get down like that up here.

[Rory]

Oh, for sure.

[Ms. Pat]

That sounds like some Alabama. You get it? I'm sorry. Maybe I thought it was Alabama. Cause you white. I had no idea it was uphill. I'm sorry.

[Ginger]

She think Rory is like redneck white. This nigga's from New York. He's from the hood.

[Ms. Pat]

Like he from.

[Rory]

You know.

[Ms. Pat]

He talk about cousins and long titties and PR pal, you know, I'm think.

[Rory]

Not long titties and. And family friends.

[Ms. Pat]

No, I'm just saying, I just. It's. It sounded like the South.

[Rory]

No, not at all. But somebody we consider like family friend type. But she. She was.

[Ms. Pat]

Have you seen her?

[Rory]

No, I haven't seen her in a long, long time.

[Ms. Pat]

Okay.

[Rory]

I didn't even consider that me losing my virginity. Cause I considered me losing my virginity when I was 14. Cause I was probably who you lost it with.

[Ms. Pat]

No wonder you like black pussy so much. White pussy. They tucked. You know what?

[Rory]

I've never even gone down that path now.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, well, they all forced it on you, so it turned you off.

[Rory]

And now that I think about it, like when I was growing up, the nicest people to me were black women. This is actually more therapy than I think I've ever gotten. I've never even put those two and two together.

[Ms. Pat]

You can write me a check. You keep on some of her goods.

[Ginger]

Cut this, Ms. P. Settles it.

[Ms. Pat]

There you go.

[Rory]

Oh, I never even put two and two together there.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. So that's probably why you attracted to black people and black women. Because every time there was black people.

[Rory]

Around when I was.

[Ms. Pat]

I mean, you didn't tell them about it.

[Rory]

I went to my man Alex was like, yo, you know what the just happened?

[Ms. Pat]

Well, did they. But black people didn't molest you.

[Rory]

No, I was never molested by black.

[Ms. Pat]

I think mentally wild sentence to say.

[Rory]

This is a crazy sentence to say. No, black person never molested me.

[Ms. Pat]

So that's why you. That's why you like black women, because white women threw it on you. So you were like. You took it easy.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

They took your dick, so you don't want no part of them.

[Rory]

Yeah, I never even put.

[Ginger]

It's funny, but she makes a good point.

[Sponsor Voice (Mint Mobile / Odoo)]

Yeah.

[Rory]

I'm not even joking around. That might be the most fair point.

[Sponsor Voice (Degree Cool Rush)]

Yeah.

[Ginger]

I never thought about it.

[Rory]

Maybe they was right. I do have a fetish, maybe.

[Ms. Pat]

A fetish with what?

[Rory]

That's always been a weird joke on Twitter, which I don't.

[Ginger]

They say that he fetishizes black women.

[Rory]

But every time I. I brought up how black women took care of me as a kid, like, it's always. It's never been a sexual.

[Ms. Pat]

What you mean they took care of you? You had a nanny?

[Rory]

No, I've lived. Lived with a Jamaican family when I was homeless. Like.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, okay. Oh, you.

[Sponsor Voice (Degree Cool Rush)]

Oh, you.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, you one of them Eminem's. You ain't no Baron Trump. You are Eminem.

[Rory]

The next season for Ms. My Got Batted around. I had to get out the house.

[Ginger]

I had to run away. Oh, my.

[Ms. Pat]

Bless your little hard. I'm glad you're doing good. I really am.

[Ginger]

I'm glad you're doing good, Rory.

[Rory]

My eyes are still batting. I don't know if I am.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, man. Well, it slowed down since we got that out.

[Rory]

Yeah, no, I feel better now. Yeah, I feel like I've been seeing.

[Ginger]

His eyes slowed down. Respect.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, he won't. I thought he had Tourex earlier. I was like, wrong with his eyes, but I could tell there was trauma behind his people.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah.

[Ginger]

Ms. Pat is crazy.

[Rory]

You were. You weren't one of the lucky ones.

[Ginger]

Oh, my God.

[Ms. Pat]

What you mean lucky ones?

[Rory]

I mean, he's the only one on the couch that has been molested.

[Ginger]

Yes.

[Rory]

No, you haven't got us to the top.

[Ginger]

Oh, never.

[Ms. Pat]

Okay.

[Ginger]

But I did read your story about it ain't fun. Well, no. I mean, no, we're Laughing about it. And that's. That's great that we can. But no, it's nothing fun about that. But that is the greatest read I think Rory has ever gotten in his life. I don't know how you figured all of that out just by him blinking his eyes, but I'm a black mama.

[Ms. Pat]

We know. You know how you bring a woman home? Your mama like, hey, let me tell you, that's a hole right there. Oh, yeah, get that hole out my house. A black mama can say that. Got an std. We can tell you right off the. We can tell you right out the map. You. You. You ain't got nothing right there.

[Ginger]

Yeah, I think. I think that is something that I think protected me growing up. Is that having a strong black mom? Yeah, definitely.

[Rory]

Because I'm saying, because my mother was white. That's why I was like, you've met my mother. I love your mother.

[Ginger]

Great woman. I'm not trying to.

[Ms. Pat]

Well, let me say this. We're culturally different. So when you're white, I think it's more free, you know, like, you don't have to have that talk. Nobody told you, don't you go out that motherfucking door. When you go out that door, you make black kids go out the door. And they say, make sure your drawers are clean in case you get hit by a car. We always were told that. I don't know why clean underwear is important. If a nigga on drug you 30.

[Ginger]

Miles down the street, never mind, my leg is shattered.

[Rory]

But like, my girlfriend shows up, these nasty ass tr.

[Ms. Pat]

With blacked off black parents always had to have a conversation with their child. And white parents have never had to have those conversations with the police, with. With, don't do this. Don't do this. Look over your shoulder, pay attention. So it's just different. It doesn't make your mama weak. It's just the things that you. That. That y' all had to endure.

[Rory]

That.

[Ms. Pat]

That we had to endure, that y' all didn't have to endure. So your life was a little more like a flower. Oh, do what I want to do. Well, heels. Well, his mom said, let me talk to you, little John. You take your ass out, you look both way. Anybody touch your drawers, you tell me. Cause I'm a killer for sucking on you. So that's what a black parents tell me. Anybody touch you, I kill them.

[Ginger]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

And I. When I first got married to my husband, I used to tell my daughter, because that's just not his daddy. I said, let me tell you something. If this man ever touched you, I want y' all to know that I would love. I love y' all way more than I love him. I kill his ass because I had been molested. And every day I gave my kids a child molestation story on the way to school. I said, if he touch you, I will kill him. Till finally, my daughter was in eighth grade. She said, mom, Mama, the man ain't gonna touch me. It's been five years, and I stopped asking, But I had to let her know. Yeah, you know, anybody touch you, especially I don't move this man into. Moved us into the house with this man. I know him, but you don't really never know a person.

[Sponsor Voice (PBS)]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

So that's the talk I had to have with my kid and my son, me, because people digging booties, so I had to make sure nobody was gonna be digging in my sons.

[Ginger]

Yeah. That is something that I like getting older, having talks with women. Like, I never realized how many women actually experienced that in. In their home.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes.

[Rory]

And I don't think that's a racial thing at all. I think that's across the board.

[Ms. Pat]

Well, you know, what I'm saying is, I think. I think with black families, we have the conversation more where, you know, we used to sit the kids down and say whatever. Where, you know, a lot of times with white people, y' all act like it don't exist till it exists.

[Rory]

Yeah. I mean, I can only speak for. For my family. And the more I learned, once I started having those conversations with my mom and what she went through, I was like, we allowed her.

[Ms. Pat]

Him around. Yes.

[Rory]

So I see what you said. I'm not gonna speak. I'm not speaking for all whites, but I can speak for my family in that regard. Once I learn more, I was like, why you let him? Well, see, he was there every holiday, and he did that.

[Ms. Pat]

But the thing with. Okay, so when you have a child molester in the family and your uncle is a child moles, they say, so the black family tell you, look here, your uncle be touching kids. So don't go over there with that. Okay. Stay away from Uncle John or uncle. Whatever we tell, we told that before we go to the barbecue. Can he come to the barbecue? Yes, but everybody gonna be watching his ass. Everybody know what he do. And we gonna tell them, kid, if he touch you, we gonna kill him. So all the kids know he. He child molester. Chester. Chester molester.

[Rory]

Chester Molester.

[Ms. Pat]

So we stayed away from.

[Rory]

We put that on a house on our block. I have no idea to this Day. If it was. He never touched anybody in the neighborhood. We it was just the house that was. And everyone would say, chest of molester lives there.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rory]

I don't know. It was just like a kid thing.

[Ginger]

That would definitely.

[Rory]

Where's Chester Molester? I didn't know that was a universal thing.

[Ginger]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes, definitely. So that I think that's the culture different is that African black people say it out loud in other cultures.

[Rory]

Either way, everybody's getting touched. So I mean, I think.

[Ms. Pat]

I don't know if the verbal conversation.

[Rory]

We'Re having is not.

[Ms. Pat]

I think every molestation is in every race. Like, I was just talking about that movie on. What's the name of that movie? Abducted in Plain Sight. You ever seen that? Yeah, that was the craziest. That man slept with the whole family and kept kidnapping the daughter. You couldn't have that chance. In no black household he have been sooner. Soon as he sucked the daddy penis, everybody would have killed him. You don't get those kind of chances. Yeah, that was the crazy.

[Rory]

Outside of that being the sickest part of the entire premise, the fact that homie got on that camera and was like, he sucked my dick too. That was like the last episode.

[Ms. Pat]

I was like, wait, you've been on this whole series the whole time?

[Rory]

It was like, listen, I, I.

[Ms. Pat]

I was sitting there watching that his R.

[Rory]

Is that good on me too? Like I said, how I, I couldn't resist.

[Ms. Pat]

Is everybody this stupid? In rural towns, this got to be the craziest ever.

[Ginger]

Crazy.

[Ms. Pat]

But those are the things that even though those neighbors knew it or they, or they. Some of the neighbors suspected it. Nobody said it out loud. Nobody went over there and had a talk with that family in all neighborhoods. They would have knocked on the door and had a talk with the mom. Hey, he be touching kid. Oh, he been to. And I think it's now, I think it's more prominent now in, in all communities because they have that, that the, that predator watch, you know?

[Sponsor Voice (Degree Cool Rush)]

Yeah, you have the.

[Ms. Pat]

You. You know, when I was living in Plainfield, Indiana, every time somebody moved into a neighborhood that had been the jail for molestation or rape, you got to register.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. You had to register. So you would get an email. A child molester just move three days, three doors down. But back in those days, you didn't have it. So people didn't talk about it, but the black community, always talking, talked about it.

[Rory]

I downloaded that app right when Amara was born. Remember we were in the studio and that I was like, there's one Walking down the street right now. Yeah, yeah, he's in route like that. Will you up the amount that are around you? I think there's one in this building right now.

[Ms. Pat]

But I will say this. I think back in some of our. Back in some of our days, like, our grandparents looked the other way. But, you know, if. If she had. If, for instance, they had a man that was taking care of them and they didn't want their world to be rocked, I would say, say in the black community, some people looked away. Yeah. When I. I was born in 72, I think people started to speak out a little bit more.

[Ginger]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

But. Yeah.

[Ginger]

How much of that. How much of your trauma do you turn into?

[Ms. Pat]

All of it.

[Ginger]

All of it.

[Ms. Pat]

I talk about any and everything that ever happened to me. If, If I can remember it, I try to talk about it because, you know, if. If it comes up, it always come up as power thing.

[Ginger]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

And my way of controlling it is to find the funny in it. Because if I don't, I could. I could be somewhere sitting and crying about it.

[Ginger]

Right.

[Ms. Pat]

So I just told myself a long time ago, I can't change what people done to me. I can't change the family that I was born into. You know, I can't change. I can't change anything. The past is the past. But what I can do is I can learn how to take control of my life. So anything comes up that I can remember, I talk about it. And I've had my husband, like, why the hell do you tell these stories? They're horrific. And I say they're funny to me, and they are.

[Ginger]

Right. But how long it took you a while to get to that place, though?

[Ms. Pat]

Yes. Because, you know, one of the biggest thing I was embarrassed about is I was a teenage mom, two kids by a married man, 14 and 15, and he was in his 20s, and he was married. And so I didn't really realize that didn't happen. I thought it happened to everybody. You know, because I'm from the inner city of Atlanta, I didn't really realize I had a mess, messed up life until I started doing comedy. And I realized all black people wasn't raised like me. Because I would be telling these stories. They'd be like, who the raised you? And I'm looking, they got my skin color. I'm like, y', all, this. Y' all didn't go there. Hell no. I went to college. What? I dropped out in eighth grade.

[Ginger]

Right.

[Ms. Pat]

So, you know, I, I, I had to learn just to accept, you know, the hand I was. And not cry about it because, you know, I can tell these stories, and I could tell them, in a way we all been here crying, and then I can turn around and tell them in a way, we all laughing.

[Ginger]

Right.

[Ms. Pat]

And I just chose to laugh with mine. Now, my sister been on crack for over 30 years, and she's never got over some of the things that we've been through. So everybody deal with their pain the way they want to deal with it. I just chose to laugh. You know, when I say I can't. My mom, my. My mama boyfriend would literally would molest me and my sister at the same time. And his el come me on. And she never talks about it. I do.

[Ginger]

Right.

[Ms. Pat]

And sometime memories will come up and I have to call my sister because she'll be in that memory. And I said, may pop, do you remember this? And to make sure she. Because she a big liar, to make sure I'm just not making up things, I let her tell the story and see if the same story is in my head.

[Ginger]

Right.

[Ms. Pat]

That's how I know it's really happened to me. Because when you've been traumatized and hurt, a lot of times your brain will lock. Will lock stuff out.

[Ginger]

Right.

[Ms. Pat]

You know, to keep you to. To allow you to live, I believe. And I think when it don't lock stuff out, that's how people go crazy.

[Ginger]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

So a lot of this stuff that happened to me is. Is locked up in my head. And as things. As I get older and things happen to me or since it's. My brain will unlock them and you start to. I start to remember. And so I. I call somebody if, If. If I got a family member in that thought, I say, hey, did this, or tell me. Tell me what you know about this. And I let them tell the story to make sure I'm not making up stuff. Right.

[Ginger]

Well, I mean, I'm glad that, you know, that's you. You were able to get past that and turn that into, you know, a way that we can all kind of laugh.

[Sponsor Voice (Degree Cool Rush)]

Yes.

[Ginger]

And. And, you know, even though it's just some very traumatic, very serious situations, but like you said, you choose how you want to heal and get over it and. And move on and live the rest of your life.

[Ms. Pat]

I just want people to realize is you can't change the past, so don't sit there and cry about it.

[Ginger]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

You know, we all. All you got to do is just get up and do something about it and start with laughter. You know, just because you was in an abusive relationship, or you've been molested or whatever it might be. Don't let those things hold you down.

[Ginger]

Right?

[Rory]

He never gave me that speech.

[Ginger]

Yeah, I never gave.

[Rory]

He just. He just keeps making fun.

[Ginger]

I just. I just. I mean, that's. That's my boy.

[Rory]

Like, yo, the fact I got hypersexualized in my 20s. I try to be telling, like, real facts and.

[Ms. Pat]

Well, how do you get hypersexualized in your 20? What is that?

[Rory]

Oh, I think that was a. I was just trying to. A bunch of. And I think that was. I think that came from being molested. Yeah, I think I was hypersexualized as a kid that.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, you just want to have a lot of sex.

[Rory]

Yeah, I. I think that was part of it.

[Ms. Pat]

You packing like that?

[Rory]

No, I'm burning like that. That's how the episode started.

[Ginger]

Ms. Pat, tell them where they can find you at, Ms. Pat.

[Ms. Pat]

I ain't never seen a white boy just slang dick. But anyway, I'm sorry. Let me. I ain't never seen a white boy just be slanging things because your producer that about to go crazy with all these bad words.

[Rory]

Oh, no, no. It was just it.

[Ms. Pat]

Only he over there sweating. Please go to misspat comedy.com and catch me on any and everything. Make sure you watch Ms. Pack. Settles it. Come on, bet now. And Ms. Pat. Sell Ms. Pat. The Ms. Pat show will be out soon, y'. All, so just, hey, go join me on Instagram, Facebook and everything.

[Ginger]

You're streaming Ms. Pat.

[Ms. Pat]

All month.

[Ginger]

We streaming Ms. Pat. That's what we're doing.

[Ms. Pat]

Please stream Ms. Pat.

[Ginger]

Y' all wanna hear something crazy out on Netflix now?

[Ms. Pat]

Yes, it's already out.

[Ginger]

Go stream that. And because our good friend Vince Staples, his new show, Season two's Greatest, start November, it's very important that we hit the like button at the end of it.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes.

[Ginger]

At the end of your special, make sure you hit the like button on. Y' all wanna hear Something crazy? Ms. Pat, thank you for coming through.

[Ms. Pat]

Thank y' all for having me.

[Ginger]

It was a pleasure meeting. You are fucking crazy. But I love it.

[Rory]

I love it.

[Ginger]

We'll talk to y' all soon. I'm that nigga. He'.

[Sponsor Voice (Total Wireless)]

Ginger.

[Ginger]

That's miss Pat.

[Ms. Pat]

That and ginger.

[Sponsor Voice (PBS)]

This episode is brought to you by pbs. Home of Ken Burns. His newest film, the American Revolution, reveals untold stories of people, some familiar, many forgotten, who risked everything to change the course of history. It's the story of a war that was bloody, complex and profoundly consequential. Ken Burns and his co directors, Sarah Botstein and David David Schmidt, shine a light on how this historic fight for independence lit the spark for freedom that still burns today. The American Revolution premieres Sunday, November 16 at 8, 7 Central on PBS and the PBS app. Don't miss it.

[Sponsor Voice (PayPal)]

This podcast is sponsored by PayPal. Okay, let's talk holiday shopping. When you want to make the most of your Money, head to PayPal's app before you check out. They give you the flexibility to pay in four no fees, no interest. And they this is big. Bigger than the 12 foot snowman on your lawn right now. You can get 5% cash back when you pay later with PayPal. So whether it's the must have merch or for that signed jersey you've been eyeing, PayPal helps you make the most of your money this holiday. Save this offer in the PayPal app expires 1231.

[Ms. Pat]

See paypal.com promoterms Subject to approval. Learn more at paypal.com payinfor PayPal Inc.

[Sponsor Voice (Degree Cool Rush)]

NMLS 91044 Today's episode is brought to you by a scent that's made a legendary comeback degree Original Cool Rush. The OG is back and better than ever. Cool Rush isn't just a scent, it's a movement. The kind of fragrance that millions of guys ask for by name. It's bold, fresh and delivers all day sweat protection with that cool, crisp vibe that made it a legend. Whether you're heading to the gym, the office, or just trying to stay fresh on a long day, Cool Rush has has your back. So if you haven't tried it yet, head to your local Walmart and grab degree Cool Rush, the fan favorite scent from the world's number one antipersement brand.

[Sponsor Voice (Mint Mobile / Odoo)]

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[Ms. Pat]

You know what a girl's best friend is? Not diamonds. Her lawyers.

[Sponsor Voice (Degree Cool Rush)]

From executive producer Ryan Murphy comes a fiery new legal drama.

[Ms. Pat]

It's our own boutique women representing women you can't afford to miss.

[Sponsor Voice (Mint Mobile / Odoo)]

Make it r showtime, ladies.

[Ms. Pat]

Stand up straight and breeze into that.

[Rory]

Room like a storm. No one saw coming.

[Sponsor Voice (Degree Cool Rush)]

Hulu original series All's Fair now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney plus.

[Ginger]

For bundle subscribers terms apply.

[Ms. Pat]

This is an iHeart podcast.