New Rory & MAL — Checking In With Ms. Pat

Episode Date: November 6, 2025
Podcast Network: iHeartPodcasts & The Volume

Episode Overview

This episode welcomes the irrepressible comedian and actress Ms. Pat for an unfiltered, laugh-out-loud, and candid conversation on comedy, family, trauma, television, and personal growth. Ms. Pat holds court alongside co-hosts Rory and Ginger, sharing wild stories, dropping sharp humor, and reflecting deeply on her journey from Atlanta’s rough streets to Netflix and BET stardom. The episode stands out for its blend of raw honesty about trauma and survival, quick-witted banter, and memorable cultural commentary.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Comedy, Culture & Ms. Pat’s Career

• Getting on the Pod: Ms. Pat jokes about how her PR person, Pam, hustles to get her booked, although she doesn’t actively follow podcasts. (03:06)
  • Ms. Pat: “If you need a PR person, get Pam.” [03:11]
• First Impressions: She jokes about coming into the studio expecting “two white boys, one ginger, one white,” demonstrating her trademark observational humor. (03:48)
• Living in New York vs. Atlanta:
  • Ms. Pat expresses her strong preference for Atlanta over New York and shares colorful observations about NYC’s crowdedness and “bumpin’ bums.” (05:45)
  • Ms. Pat: “New York got great food, dirty city, too many people… y’all bums be talking to everybody. My bums stay to they self.” [05:45]
• Dating and Cultural Stereotypes:
  • She immediately picks up on Ginger’s clean style and jokes it must be because he dates Black women, weaving playful teasing with biting cultural insight. (06:49–08:35)
  • Ms. Pat: “Only a black woman can put that sweat in a white… we clean y’all the fuck up.” [07:05]
  • The group riff on differences in grooming standards and comedic perceptions in Black and white communities, particularly about shoes and self-presentation.

2. The Ms. Pat Show, Creative Control & Pushing Boundaries

• Balancing TV and Touring:
  • Ms. Pat emphasizes why she keeps touring and doing her podcast, despite having a successful TV show:
  • Ms. Pat: “I never stop touring because I don’t ever want to depend on somebody to feed my family... I like being in control of myself. I don’t ever want to have to go beg anybody to do nothing.” [10:54]
• TV vs. Podcast Freedom:
  • While TV requires boundaries, the podcast lets Ms. Pat be fully uncensored—she values this outlet for her real thoughts. [10:39]
• Censoring Content on TV:
  • Ms. Pat dives into a story about an episode idea that was blocked for using racial slurs, unpacking generational changes in language and sensitivity.
    • Ms. Pat: “We did a race episode about how the younger generation find everything to be racist… The word Jap Slap... I didn’t know that was a racist term until my husband told me…” [11:42]
    • Ms. Pat: “They let me put in chink, but not Jap slap.” [12:49]
    • The hosts discuss comedy, context, networks’ standards, and shifting sensibilities.

3. Stories from Home: Family, Atlanta, and LGBTQ Topics

• Family Dynamics and Vetting Partners:
  • Ms. Pat shares a hilarious and real perspective on her daughter's relationships, revealing she won't even remember a girlfriend’s number until they hit five years together. (19:14–20:39)
    • Ms. Pat: “She got to be in your life at least five years before I even lock her phone number in my phone.” [20:08]
  • Playful banter about Black “stud” lesbians, family rules for meeting significant others, and the unique dynamics within LGBTQ families.
• Gays in Atlanta:
  • Ms. Pat notes the vibrant presence of gay culture in modern Atlanta compared to her childhood, and discusses how gay men “do makeup better than women.” (16:50–30:06)

4. Comedy Influences & Storytelling Approach

• Inspirations:
  • Ms. Pat credits Richard Pryor, Bernie Mac, and Red Fox for shaping her comedic voice, emphasizing storytelling about real-life experiences, especially hardships growing up.
    • Ms. Pat: “Everybody was like, girl, you got stories like Richard Pryor… so I started to research him, buy his albums and listen to them. He told a lot of stories about growing up in a brothel, and I grew up in a looker house, a bootleg house. So we kind of had similar lives…” [15:55]

5. Netflix Special & Gender, Race and Pay Parity in Comedy

• Netflix Special Experience:
  • Ms. Pat’s pride in her Netflix special is clear (“Y’all wanna hear something crazy?”), noting Robert Townsend directed it and Wanda Sykes produced. [22:17–22:48]
• On Ms. Monique & Equality in Showbiz:
  • She recognizes ongoing inequity along gender and racial lines, supports Monique’s fight, but notes her own experience has differed thanks to negotiating and being able to say ‘no.’
    • Ms. Pat: “Ain’t never equal in this country, no matter what job you have, it’s either gonna be a man make more than a woman or white people make more than Black people… But I understood her argument… If you don’t speak up, you’re gonna forever get stepped on…” [23:40]

6. Personal Trauma, Healing, & Turning Pain Into Comedy

• Ms. Pat and Rory’s Shared Discussions of Childhood Molestation:
  • A raw conversation where both Ms. Pat and Rory candidly discuss being molested as children, how it affected them, and how they now process and joke about it as adults.
    • Ms. Pat: “No matter what you’ve been through in life, when you can laugh about it, that means you have control of it.” [41:30]
    • Ms. Pat: “My way of controlling it is to find the funny in it. Because if I don’t, I could be somewhere sitting and crying about it.” [55:03]
• Cultural Differences in Dealing with Abuse:
  • Ms. Pat describes how Black families talk more openly and directly about molestation, warning kids and sharing information, in contrast to the silence she perceives among white families.
    • Ms. Pat: “When I first got married to my husband, I used to tell my daughter, because that’s just not his daddy… If this man ever touched you, I want y’all to know that I love y’all way more than I love him. I’ll kill his ass…” [49:56]
• Making Comedy from Trauma:
  • She talks about her method of transforming traumatic experiences into comedy—a process of reclaiming power and helping others process pain through laughter.
    • Ms. Pat: “All of it. I talk about any and everything that ever happened to me… If it comes up, it always come up as power thing… My way of controlling it is to find the funny in it.” [54:49–55:03]
    • Also discusses her time as a teenage mother by a married man, learning to come to terms with her past, and the varied ways people cope with trauma.

7. Family Court TV: ‘Ms. Pat Settles It’

• Highlight Episode:
  • Ms. Pat describes a real-life family dispute from her new BET show involving her gay daughter and her son fighting over money advanced by the daughter to the son for “script club” outings—illustrating how her real family life ends up on screen.
    • Ms. Pat: “My gay daughter took my son to the script club… she gave him money to throw at the strippers. And she wanted her money back. $500. And he never paid it back, which had happened for real. And they had been arguing about this money for over a year and a case fell out…” [25:29]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On surviving the NYC subway:
  • Ms. Pat: “My thighs, my vagina, my chest—everything was burning… My booty ain’t got shit to do no ginger. Those are muscles I don’t use, baby. I was so glad I had on two panty. Lot of co. It was catching everything from front to back.” [04:47]
• On 'Black woman effect’ on white men:
  • Ms. Pat: “That’s that black vagina, brother. Cause she was like, if you don’t take out them ragged ass New Balances.” [07:18]
• On generational language differences:
  • Ms. Pat: “I wanted to put that word out there because I wanted people to know that it was a derogatory word. What was crazy? The younger generation had never heard of the word… But they let me put in chink. They let me use chink.” [12:18, 12:56]
• On comedy and healing:
  • Ms. Pat: “No matter what you’ve been through in life, when you can laugh about it, that means you have control of it.” [41:30]
• On being in control:
  • Ms. Pat: “I never stop touring because I don’t ever want to depend on somebody to feed my family. You can cut the lights off at The Ms. Pat Show or that court show at any time. But I got to cut the lights off on this tour.” [10:54]
• On family, pain, and self-acceptance:
  • Ms. Pat: “I had to learn just to accept… the hand I was dealt and not cry about it… I could tell these stories in a way we all been here crying, and then I can turn around and tell them in a way we all laughing.” [56:20]
• Therapy vs. Comedy:
  • Rory: “This is better than when I went to therapy. This is better.” [41:19]
  • Ms. Pat: “Laugh about it… you can’t change the past, so don’t sit there and cry about it.” [58:11]
• Ms. Pat on why gay men are beauty icons:
  • Ms. Pat: “You know what I love about a gay man? Cuz they do their makeup better than women do… Can’t nobody beat your face like a gay man.” [29:14, 30:06]

Important Timestamps & Segments

• 03:11 — Ms. Pat shouts out her PR person and jokes about podcasting.
• 05:45 — Ms. Pat describes the differences between New York and Atlanta, with streetlife and city culture commentary.
• 07:00–08:35 — Exchange about “the Black woman effect” on men’s style and behavior, riffing on interracial dating.
• 10:39–11:33 — Ms. Pat details the importance of creative control, touring, and her perspective on the industry.
• 11:42–12:56 — Discussion on language censorship for TV, generational shifts, and recounting an episode pitched to BET.
• 16:50–30:06 — Banter about Atlanta’s LGBTQ culture, family, and makeup, plus Ms. Pat on her comedy inspirations.
• 23:40–24:41 — Ms. Pat on Ms. Monique’s Netflix pay battle and gender/race equity in comedy contracts.
• 25:29 — Hilarious recounting of the real-life family case that appeared on her BET court show.
• 41:09–58:25 — Deep and unvarnished conversation about childhood trauma, molestation, cultural differences, and healing through comedy.

Tone & Style

Ms. Pat's style is deeply irreverent, working blue, and unafraid to tackle taboo or difficult subjects with biting, observational humor. The episode mixes playful roasting, occasionally uncomfortable real talk, and powerful stories of survival and self-determination.

Recommendations

For fans of raw, no-holds-barred comedy, authentic conversations about overcoming trauma, and a behind-the-scenes look at comedy’s evolution, this episode is an essential listen. Ms. Pat’s compelling storytelling and ability to turn adversity into laughter shine throughout this memorable session.

Ms. Pat’s Netflix special "Y’All Wanna Hear Something Crazy?" is streaming now. Her BET series "Ms. Pat Settles It" and "The Ms. Pat Show" are out or coming soon. Catch more at misspatcomedy.com and follow her on Instagram and Facebook.