Episode 326 | Your Claim Has Been Denied

Summary

Podcast Summary: Episode 326 | "Your Claim Has Been Denied"

Podcast Information:

• Title: New Rory & MAL
• Host/Author: iHeartPodcasts and The Volume
• Episode: 326
• Release Date: December 6, 2024
• Description: New stories, new laughs, new random hot takes that no one asked for... New Rory & Mal

---

1. Spotify Wrap-Up and Music Listening Habits

The episode begins with the hosts and guests delving into their Spotify Wrap-up, discussing their most streamed artists, songs, and genres of the year.

• Mal shares his surprising top songs, highlighting "Ciao" by Bryson Tiller with 93 plays. He remarks, "I'm like, yo, what? Like, I don't remember listening to this that much." ([02:32])

• Rory humorously notes his top songs are predominantly children's bath time tunes, saying, "All my top songs are bath time stuff." ([02:19])

• Julian reflects a more eclectic taste, listing artists like Jungle Future, Drake, and Tyler, the Creator, and comments, "It's at the bottom. What makes someone a part of the culture?" ([03:27])

The discussion highlights the diverse listening habits among the participants, with varying degrees of engagement in different music genres.

2. UnitedHealth CEO Shooting: Motives and Implications

A significant portion of the episode focuses on the shooting of the UnitedHealth CEO outside Midtown Hotel, exploring potential motives and societal implications.

• Rory expresses his disdain for the incident, stating, "Sympathy is not covered in my insurance, so I don't really give a fuck." ([12:35])

• The hosts debate whether the shooter was a professional or someone driven by personal grievances against the healthcare system. Julian mentions, "There was a picture of him soaking the area, he's caught. I don't know, he might be a professional." ([14:56])

• Mal raises concerns about the shooter's apparent planning, noting the challenges law enforcement faces with high-surveillance areas: "He just looked kind of, like, flimsy." ([14:43])

The conversation underscores frustrations with the healthcare system, particularly UnitedHealth's high claim denial rates, which stood at 32%, double the industry average of 16%. Julian shares a graphic illustrating these disparities, emphasizing the widespread impact on policyholders.

3. Vigilantism and the Healthcare System

The hosts debate the ethics and consequences of vigilantism in response to systemic failures.

• Mal warns of a potential domino effect, questioning, "Does this set off a domino effect of other people now hunting down other CEOs of healthcare companies?" ([29:23])

• Rory acknowledges the complexity, stating, "Nothing is going to stop with violence when it comes to, to this stuff." ([30:30])

• The group's consensus leans towards the ineffectiveness of such acts in driving systemic change, with Julian suggesting, "The public outcry is like, hooray. Fuck this guy. That's a problem, but nothing's going to change." ([28:38])

4. Daniel Penny Trial and Public Perception

Transitioning to recent legal cases, the hosts discuss the trial of Daniel Penny, a former Marine convicted for the death of Jordan Neely.

• Julian provides context: "Daniel Penny is the former Marine. He was 24... he got involved with someone on the train." ([68:32])

• Rory criticizes the prolonged chokehold Penny applied, suggesting it was excessive: "Anything to that extent is excessive to me. Like, six minutes in this position around someone's throat, it's like, come on, bro." ([74:21])

• The conversation touches on mental health as a factor, with Damaris stating, "I think PTSD is a real thing for our people." ([75:00])

The hosts express sympathy for both the victim and the perpetrator, debating accountability and the influence of military training on Penny's actions.

5. Controversial Discussion on Andrew Schultz's Comments on Hip Hop

A heated segment revolves around Andrew Schultz's critical remarks about hip hop, sparking debates on cultural authenticity and racial dynamics.

• Damaris challenges Schultz's authority to critique hip hop, asking, "What makes anybody able to speak on the culture?" ([48:14])

• Mal defends Schultz's position, arguing that support and participation in the culture grant him validity: "I think if you consume it, I think if you grew up around it... I think that gives you validity to speak on the negatives that come along." ([49:16])

• Rory counters by questioning the relevance of Schultz's criticisms to the broader culture, stating, "What does hip hop have to do with this now?" ([42:46])

The discussion reflects broader tensions about who has the right to critique cultural forms and the intersections of race and authenticity within artistic communities.

6. Life Insurance and Estate Planning Among Siblings

The conversation shifts to personal anecdotes about estate planning and the perceived inequities in life insurance distributions among siblings.

• A caller shares distress over unequal inheritances, feeling punished for his success: "I feel like I'm being punished for being successful and making good choices with my life." ([105:17])

• Julian empathizes, recalling how his family's will caused rifts: "I saw what a will and trust did to my mom's side of the family and how that tore apart her sibling." ([106:31])

• Mal discusses the rationale parents might have for unequal distributions: "They might feel she needs more help and assistance." ([111:03])

• Damaris emphasizes maintaining family relationships despite financial disagreements, advising against vilifying siblings: "Don't make it about her. She didn't do anything wrong." ([109:26])

The segment highlights the emotional complexities surrounding inheritance and the importance of family dynamics in financial decisions.

7. Comedy and Movie Discussions

In lighter moments, the hosts engage in banter about various movies and comedians, showcasing their diverse tastes and humorous takes.

• Rory praises "Training Day," calling it a masterclass in acting: "Training Day checks every box of writing, storyline, acting, action, plot... everything about it is perfect." ([119:07])

• Damaris contrasts it with other films, expressing differing opinions on its acclaim: "I just think it's overrated. I just don't feel like it." ([119:38])

• The group also touches on mental health portrayals in media, referencing "I Care a Lot" and discussing stereotypes: "I'm autistic, but I'm not on the spectrum." ([67:15])

The discussion underscores the hosts' ability to blend serious topics with humor, reflecting their multifaceted personalities.

8. Orlando Brown and Nick Cannon Interaction

A humorous yet pointed exchange about Orlando Brown's remarks on Nick Cannon leads to a broader dialogue on celebrity interactions and public perceptions.

• Damaris refers to Orlando Brown's outrageous claims: "Nick finally called out cap on all this stuff. Orlando Brown's finally called out cat." ([57:08])

• Rory imagines confrontational scenarios, prompting laughter and further jokes: "Can we get him? No." ([60:09])

• The hosts use the interaction to satirize celebrity culture, blending mockery with playful camaraderie.

9. Listener Callers and Interactive Segments

Throughout the episode, listeners contribute via calls, posing questions ranging from relationship dilemmas to personal anecdotes about defending loved ones.

• A caller from London seeks advice on handling unequal inheritance between siblings, prompting an in-depth discussion on familial expectations and fairness ([105:17]).

• Another caller shares a personal story about intervening in a flight altercation, adding to the episode's mix of serious and comedic elements ([77:07]).

The interactive segments enhance the episode's engagement, allowing hosts to address real-life scenarios with their characteristic blend of humor and insight.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Mal: "He listened to it twice. Yeah, you know, once. It's only 42 minutes, 44 minutes or something like that. He listens to it one time. It's his top artist." ([12:35])

• Rory: "Sympathy is not covered in my insurance, so I don't really give a fuck." ([12:35])

• Damaris: "What makes anybody able to speak on the culture?" ([48:14])

• Julian: "The public outcry is like, hooray. Fuck this guy. That's a problem, but nothing's going to change." ([28:38])

• Rory: "Training Day checks every box of writing, storyline, acting, action, plot... everything about it is perfect." ([119:07])

---

Conclusion:

In this episode of "New Rory & MAL," the hosts navigate a broad spectrum of topics, from personal music tastes and significant societal events like the UnitedHealth CEO shooting to intricate discussions on culture, mental health, and family dynamics. Their ability to interweave humor with serious commentary provides listeners with both entertainment and thoughtful insights, making the episode a compelling listen for those seeking a blend of levity and depth.

Transcript

[Damaris]

No worry about this.

[Mal]

Can't be right.

[Julian]

It's all Kendrick.

[Rory]

Are we recording? Mall just discovered that Kendrick is his stuff.

[Damaris]

What did you say Ma?

[Mal]

No, I think it's Kendrick.

[Julian]

And then yg we can start.

[Rory]

We can start with our our year wrap up.

[Damaris]

Text it to Julia I love so he can put it on the screen.

[Rory]

That we got to see the real time reaction.

[Julian]

Say the artist. Say the artist.

[Damaris]

My baby said this can't be right.

[Julian]

Who are you? Who is it?

[Mal]

The top artist. Yeah. Oh, Drake. But Bryson Tiller was second. I don't remember.

[Rory]

What's wrong with that?

[Mal]

I don't remember listening.

[Julian]

You were jamming to that album came out this year. Earlier.

[Mal]

Earlier. I remember listening to that for 3,624 minutes.

[Julian]

Damn, that's crazy.

[Rory]

Talk about a Bryson fan.

[Damaris]

Yeah, like my to it and I'm not.

[Julian]

Wait, you've been listening for that long that. So what's the Drake minutes then? If you were listening to Bryson that much.

[Mal]

5800.

[Julian]

God damn.

[Mal]

Then Don Toliver 2152 minutes. Leon Thomas, 1634.

[Rory]

Love that.

[Mal]

And then. Yeah, Ali 1512.

[Damaris]

So Don Toliver makes sense for you. Do you fuck to the Bryson album? You ain't answered me.

[Mal]

No, I just. I think I. I probably had it on like repeat cleaning and shit like that. And it was one of those type of. You know what I mean? Like the week it came out. But I just feel like I listened to so much all the music this year. Like I was not expecting that to be number.

[Damaris]

Well, it also shows you your top songs, your top songs by the month, which I think is interesting as well.

[Rory]

So all my top songs are bath time stuff. But if I get past that when I go to top songs. Jay. Electronica, Fruits of the Spirit.

[Damaris]

God, you guys are.

[Rory]

And the second one, what did I go through this year? Why is Drake Jaded number two as far as not bath time songs.

[Julian]

Yes, that song goes.

[Rory]

No, Jaded is a classic. But what the was I going through this year? And then after that Lil Sims angel, which is like one of my favorite songs. Then Black Milk. No Wish. And then it's all. All bath time. I don't have much to contribute unless you like Elmo. Splish Splash. Love the classic Too Many Bubbles in the Bathtub. Also a sleeper here. Beach Boys Surfing usa.

[Mal]

Nice.

[Damaris]

What do you just put on the like the bath time playlist? Okay.

[Rory]

Yeah, it's. There's like the kids, but Too many bubbles in the bathtub for the second year in a row. Is my number one song.

[Mal]

My number one song is Ciao by Bryson Tiller.

[Rory]

Yo, because she was chowing down, that's why.

[Damaris]

Nah, that's my. That's fine.

[Mal]

Number two is circadian rhythm. But they could both be number one because they both have 93 plays circadian rhythm.

[Rory]

I like the song. I just wouldn't expect that to be your number two.

[Mal]

That's what I'm saying. I'm like, yo, what? Like, I don't remember listening to this that much.

[Damaris]

Mine makes sense. Mine really, really make sense, Julian.

[Julian]

Oh, my. My songs. I mean, four of my top five songs are jungle. I listen to jungle. And then my fifth song is Salt Record. That's it. And then albums. Damn.

[Damaris]

This wants that y'all playlist. Tell me I don't get no. Except for Ball Market.

[Rory]

My top Surf. Wait, you don't think Surfing USA gets them wet?

[Mal]

Literally.

[Damaris]

Literally.

[Julian]

Top artist, Jungle Future, Drake, Krugabin, Krub. That group that I love that I still can't pronounce even though I listen to 805 minutes.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Julian]

And then I do not think this would be in the five, but it is. Metro's in the five.

[Rory]

I get it. I mean, Metro, I guess.

[Julian]

Incredible album this year salts in the six for me, which makes sense. And then goes on and on. Tyler, pnd, Mac Miller.

[Damaris]

If you guys had to top my top guess my top five artists, who would you think that they would be?

[Julian]

It's all women.

[Damaris]

I'm so predictable.

[Julian]

Lotto.

[Damaris]

That's one. Not. Not Glorilla. Megan is one.

[Mal]

Drake.

[Julian]

No, I was good. I would say Cardi, but she doesn't push out.

[Damaris]

Nope.

[Julian]

What is another woman that does rap?

[Damaris]

It doesn't. I listen to more than just rap.

[Rory]

Tierra Whack.

[Damaris]

She did. Hey, that's good. That's the only female rapper that made your list.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Julian]

No, no.

[Rory]

Little Sims and Sarah Whack.

[Damaris]

Okay?

[Julian]

Dochi made one of my lists.

[Rory]

See, that's what doesn't make sense with some of this stuff. I have ran that Dochi album into the ground, and it's nowhere near anything that's on it. That's the album I've listened to by far the most.

[Damaris]

If you go to months, if you go to top albums by month, which should be all the way. Damn near all the way at the bottom. You can see when her album came out.

[Julian]

It is cool that they did that because I screenshotted mine and it's very accurate to my. Obviously to my, like, listening habits throughout the year. Like, when that Tyler album came out in October. My October, November, or top most played albums. The Tyler album.

[Rory]

I mean, Tyler's my number four played artist, period. In this top artist.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Which. But I don't understand how this works because all my top songs are Bath Time. But Elmo is not number one as far as artists. It's like, how do they do that?

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Rory]

It's just totality of. Of what you listen to.

[Mal]

Too much Bob Marley for that not to be on my none of my list. Like, that's crazy.

[Rory]

Every Apple and Spotify have been doing this. Frank Ocean makes my top five every single year and only has two albums. That's kind of crazy.

[Mal]

Who's going through it?

[Rory]

My top Elmo.

[Mal]

Elmo's greatest hits.

[Rory]

Blonde this year. Yeah.

[Mal]

Wow.

[Damaris]

Mine is Cowboy Carter by Beyonce. Because I'm a real.

[Rory]

Obviously, that's also another album I ran into the ground that isn't showing up here. I'm calling Cap on some of these recaps, man.

[Julian]

No worries. Is my Most place.

[Rory]

Doesn't even make sense to me.

[Julian]

And then that Gambino album in July. Yeah. I mean, it kind of just mirrors what album came out that I kind of like that because it's like, oh, yeah. That's when that came out.

[Damaris]

My top five albums are Cowboy Carter by Beyonce, Sugar Honey Iced Tea by Lotto, Megan by Megan, Thee Stallion, Cut Ties by Keanu, laday and Tyla by Tyler.

[Mal]

That's your top top five.

[Damaris]

That's my top five albums. My top five artists.

[Julian]

Wait, I was still. I wasn't done guessing. I said Keanu today. She has to be in there. That's your.

[Damaris]

So you had Kiana, Megan, and. And who did we say? Beyonce.

[Julian]

Beyonce. And then we always arguing about Mariah Carey.

[Damaris]

She is also one of my. Called it. She is my top art, my top artist. Y.

[Rory]

This is where I'm calling Cap, because Blonde is my number one album, but number two is gnx. It hasn't even been out long enough.

[Julian]

Damn, you looping that like crazy.

[Rory]

I really like the album, but there's no way I listen to GNX more than a written testimony.

[Damaris]

But there's no way. That's how I felt last year when Drake was my number one artist and they said that. Like, I'm like, there's no way. Drake is my. I did not listen to this album that much. Like, that did not happen. But this year, I feel like it's really accurate. Beyonce, Megan, Lotto Keanu, and Mariah Carey. That's extremely accurate.

[Rory]

How many. How many streams did everyone do for. I thought it'd be different. Can we pull that? I don't think that.

[Mal]

Oh, man.

[Damaris]

I don't think it goes as.

[Mal]

That might be my top 40. This is my top 47, I think. Yeah. It's more of a cold.

[Rory]

There's not enough memory on Apple's servers to go that far down to find how many streams it got.

[Damaris]

Well, you made some people's top, though.

[Rory]

I did. Which I. I was actually very, very happy about. All the people that posted for an album that wasn't even from this year.

[Julian]

This is cool. It gives you top playlists in minutes played from their albums. Vulnerability. My ex has a fire playlist that I listen to a lot. It's my most played album, my most played players. Every year. I listen to 1400 minutes of it.

[Rory]

This year just to remember her.

[Julian]

I love her. She's incredible. But she has great music taste. I play that almost.

[Rory]

You really like the music on there?

[Mal]

No.

[Julian]

Yeah, I do. We have very similar memory. I'm long past that relationship, but great music.

[Mal]

Okay. Bob Marley. Essentials is my top. One of my top playlist. Number five. I know. I'm like, bro, I listen to Bob, like, every day like that.

[Damaris]

So he probably didn't make your top albums because you're listening to Essentials playlist, not just one album.

[Julian]

What is a. It says by genre, too. It gives you that. Do you guys have your. It's at the bottom.

[Damaris]

Peach said Dirty South. Peaches said Dirty South. Yeah, it was so funny.

[Rory]

That didn't even really register. Even though I replied to his message of it saying Dirty south. That one of his top genres was. I didn't even know it was a real genre with Apple.

[Damaris]

Yo.

[Mal]

Wait, where's the genre?

[Rory]

Mine is.

[Julian]

It's at the bottom.

[Rory]

Mine is R B and soul, hip hop, rap, pop. And then the last one is hardcore rap.

[Julian]

Who do they categorize as hardcore rap?

[Damaris]

Ew. Mine. R& B.

[Rory]

So spins. I gave Freddie Gibbs album.

[Damaris]

R and B, soul, pop, hip hop, rap, and contemporary. R and B.

[Mal]

Mine's R and B, soul, hip hop, dance, rap, pop.

[Julian]

Damn. Mind.

[Mal]

It got to be. It got to be dance. Because honestly.

[Damaris]

Never mind.

[Mal]

Yeah, that's my. That's one of my top albums I listen to.

[Julian]

I'm Mr. Eclectic over here.

[Mal]

Number five. I'm a top album.

[Rory]

Julian and Damaris will be proud of me. In April, J. Cole was my high high starter.

[Julian]

Might delete later.

[Damaris]

As you should when it came out.

[Rory]

And this is how much of a HOV Stan I am. May. When every. When the whole world went to with Kendrick and Drake. Jay Z is still my number one artist in May.

[Mal]

A real hov J. Cole didn't come out in February.

[Julian]

No, April.

[Rory]

And April is when.

[Julian]

That's when it was April. Then Dreamville was April. This is my. Hold on real quick. Hip hop, R B, alternative, electronic, jazz.

[Mal]

Gotta listen to that. Ella Fitzgerald.

[Julian]

Heavy in my jazz bag.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Rory]

You're so eclectic.

[Mal]

How do you.

[Julian]

You listen to everything like I'm the man.

[Mal]

What don't you listen to?

[Rory]

What don't.

[Julian]

Guys. These guys.

[Mal]

These ears are so eclectic.

[Julian]

These ears.

[Rory]

It's almost too much.

[Mal]

Yes. How do you listen to so much?

[Julian]

My Apple music is too good.

[Rory]

So many genres.

[Mal]

He crosses all genres, dude.

[Julian]

Drake, Jack, Harlow.

[Mal]

There's nothing he doesn't.

[Rory]

For those that don't know, we are.

[Julian]

We're a renaissance.

[Rory]

We are referencing a hilarious clip on YouTube. I wish we could give him credit cuz I just don't know his name. But he has the funniest sketch when it comes.

[Julian]

He does good sketches. He does other stuff too.

[Rory]

To Spotify wrap up. What was. What was the kid's name?

[Julian]

I don't know. You have the video dude.

[Rory]

Liam, are you Spotify wrapped on your story, you Renaissance man?

[Julian]

Hell yes.

[Mal]

Kanye, Drake, Jack Harlow, Tam Impala.

[Julian]

What don't you listen to?

[Rory]

What don't you listen to? I shouldn't even be looking you in the eyes.

[Julian]

A top 1%.

[Mal]

I shouldn't even be looking you in your eyes.

[Julian]

Congrats, bro. Seriously, you earned that.

[Rory]

And I knew your top genre would be underground rap. You were always putting me underneath.

[Julian]

Mine was hard. And your aura hype and chill. That's so you brought.

[Mal]

That's so good.

[Rory]

My aura's not been as glowing. It's been a pretty dark year for me.

[Mal]

Start to finish. Musta lost a couple. Loved ones. Lost a couple.

[Rory]

I have not stopped watching that since Peach sent it to me. How do you go through that Spotify rap playlist and somehow take a hard pivot to people you lost over?

[Mal]

He just. Peaches list is crazy. P only listening to music for 41 minutes this year.

[Rory]

I sat next to him for a whole plane ride. Where was it? To London. To London. And he was listening to Kim by Eminem and cleaning out my closet. Like on the screen.

[Julian]

Pee just that, dude. For those wondering, PJ's top artists were Morgan Wallen, Kendrick, Kanye, Alicia Keys and Young Buck.

[Damaris]

Alicia Keys and Young Buck being the wild cards is crazy.

[Rory]

I think that's a really well balanced Alicia Keys.

[Mal]

Young Buck hasn't put out anything know.

[Rory]

How many, but Straight out of Cashville and Buck the World are both classics.

[Julian]

Talk about eclectic. PJs top genres were hip hop, country, dirty, south R and B, and neo soul.

[Rory]

This guy who's neo soul in that.

[Mal]

He listens to everything. This guy.

[Julian]

Yeah. Who's ne. Tommy Richmond?

[Damaris]

I don't know. Yeah.

[Rory]

Also going from Alicia Keys to Young Buck, it's the craziest.

[Damaris]

It's just the craziest wild card. Like, what fucking year are we in?

[Rory]

I feel like for the New York show, we should have Peach dj. Like that should be our opener. Is Peach just with the auxiliary cord doing whatever the he wants?

[Damaris]

Just playing his recently played.

[Mal]

Well, Peach, you had Kendrick in your top five.

[Julian]

Okay, Number two, fired. Was it the new stuff, Peach or the old stuff? Gnx.

[Rory]

But you don't even like it.

[Mal]

He listened to it twice. Yeah, you know, once. It's only 42 minutes, 44 minutes or something like that. He listens to it one time. It's his top artist.

[Rory]

Hey, squabble up.

[Mal]

Yeah, I get it.

[Rory]

Before we get back into anything Kendrick related, I do want to say rumble, young man, rumble. I respect what happened in Midtown yesterday.

[Julian]

Rest in piss, ass boy.

[Rory]

I know that someone. Someone's life was taken, so we have to treat it with care and all that, but sympathy is not covered in my insurance, so I don't really give a fuck. And I think what happened to the UnitedHealth CEO, not as a person, but as an establishment, was. Was well deserved for how they over us in this country for centuries. So. Yeah.

[Julian]

3. The guy, even though he's still. Even though he's still on the lamb, I hope he never gets caught. There's plenty more to go through.

[Mal]

He's in Midtown drinking coffee right now.

[Damaris]

They said that went to Starbucks. They got him at Starbucks.

[Julian]

His getaway being a city bike, which is traceable by the city, is fucking crazy.

[Rory]

I feel like he. So they found a phone that was left. I think he purposely left that phone. I want to know what manifesto is on that fucking phone. There's no way that guy that. With that type of gun and how he had to keep reloading it didn't just drop his phone. There's a manifesto on there that he may have the Epstein list on that.

[Mal]

Well, he wasn't. He wasn't a professional hitman.

[Rory]

Yeah, I'm not. I'm not saying it was. It was Jason Bourne there.

[Damaris]

Why do you think he was a professional? The video gives John Wick?

[Julian]

No, the video. The gun kept jamming. Like, he just looked kind of, like, flimsy.

[Rory]

And I, I, again, I am a pussy liberal, so I don't know a lot about guns, but I was doing my research on Reddit, so, you know it's true.

[Mal]

Yes.

[Julian]

A lot of experts over there with.

[Rory]

The silencer that he had to make it even quieter. He put the pressure that you have. You have to cock it yourself every time. It didn't jam. He just had to put a bullet back in the chamber.

[Julian]

Oh, that's kind of fire.

[Rory]

And again, this is Reddit, so it's 100 true. Based off this blurry video, I just.

[Mal]

Don'T think it was a professional hitman because he chose to do it in the most lit area of that sidewalk. It literally was under the lights of the hotel entrance. Okay, but if you're a hitman, you're not gonna.

[Julian]

They said he was there for, like, overnight. He was there for a long time.

[Mal]

Yeah, but you're not going to do it right there in the most lit area, that sidewalk.

[Julian]

Yeah, but if you get one shot, one opportunity to seize everything you've ever wanted.

[Damaris]

He looked, too. He's caught. He. I don't know. He might be a professional. He's so calm with that in the middle of midtown.

[Mal]

That's a. That's a migrant man. They got a migrant to. He's a migrant murderer from migrant murder. He's a migrant murderer from El Salvador.

[Julian]

This is who they're killing. Bring them in.

[Rory]

Wait, it can't be a migrant. They get free health care. We don't. Oh, yeah, but why would a migrant do this?

[Mal]

Yeah, that's very true.

[Julian]

Wait, so I had a question, because I think. I thought it was an amateur. I think he's a disgruntled guy because, like, millions of people in this country, the decisions that this guy made affected a bunch of people. A lot of people went broke. A lot of people lost family members, etc. Do you guys ever see the movie I Care A Lot with Rosamund Pike?

[Rory]

No.

[Julian]

It's like she plays an insurance scam woman. It's a Netflix movie. It's really good. It's based on a true story, but basically.

[Rory]

Oh, no, I have seen this. I have seen.

[Julian]

It's great. So I remember, like, the first scene. Spoiler alert. The first scene of the movie, there's, like, a disgruntled guy that, like, she robbed his grandma, his mother's estate. Like, he got out of the will, all that shit. She fucked him over. He's pissed off at her, like, gets arrested or whatever. In the first scene of the movie, like one of the first opening scenes, the last scene of the movie, she's getting out of a parking lot. She just cashed out hundreds of millions of dollars. She's up big. She's like doing her thing. The guy sees her in a parking lot, goes, hey, you. And she turns around, he takes out a gun with a silence or whatever, shoots her in the parking lot and then walks away. I think that was a case of this. This guy knew who the person is that could be the culpable for what happened to someone in his family. And he's like, it. I'm just going to take matters into my own hands. Sometimes it's just the guy you piss off that you don't know.

[Mal]

That's true.

[Rory]

I'm more on that side too. Like, you know, PJ and I were in the studio yesterday. We actually laid tinfoil on the ground. And then while we were waiting for you to come, we actually went up to Midtown to search for clues.

[Mal]

Pause.

[Damaris]

Clues.

[Rory]

I. I don' think this is a conspiracy because I think the conspiracy would want to keep that man alive, not kill him. So, yeah, I think it's probably somebody that has been through the ringer with the healthcare system and happens to be proficient in weapons and isn't dumb. Like, I don't think this is like a mental health crazy. I just think it's somebody that maybe is ex military, maybe ex law enforcement. Somebody that's just been over and you over the person that is proficient in arms.

[Mal]

Either way, I mean, it's just crazy that this is something that happened right here in Midtown, especially where it's at, right in front of the hotel. So many cameras. Obviously the person just didn't give a. They just was like, it, I don't care. I'm killing this guy, his company, everything they did to my family.

[Rory]

On your way to an investor meeting.

[Mal]

I believe conference, I think.

[Rory]

I believe healthcare last year made 32 billion in profit.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Mal]

So I'll get it.

[Rory]

So some of these shootings and all this other shit is not mental health. Sometimes people are really just pissed off.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Rory]

When you fuck over enough people, it is going to come back to you eventually.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Rory]

And sometimes you're going to run into somebody that isn't mentally ill and can actually plan something and maybe even get away with it.

[Julian]

A graphic I saw circulating which could, you know, obviously would lead to a lot of outrage by many Americans. The UnitedHealth UHC had the highest claim denial rates across all insurance companies, the average being at 16%. They were at 32%. So, obviously a lot of angry people affected by the decisions that the people in power made.

[Damaris]

And he supported using AI to make those decisions.

[Rory]

Listen, man, John Q. Put it perfectly. Sick. Help. Sick. Help.

[Damaris]

That's. Yeah, that's your. That's your Denzel voice.

[Rory]

That's Jonathan Q. I don't know who Denzel is. Yeah, a fucking amazing father and a hero in my mind. But sometimes you'll get to people. You'll get a John Q. Like, yeah, some people are just not going to watch their children die because it's your decision. Right in a fucking office.

[Mal]

I just don't. The fact that he hasn't been caught yet, to me, is a little, like, sketchy.

[Julian]

There were more photos, more videos like, that have been released.

[Rory]

But, yeah, what a fucking plan. And granted, I'm no nothing when it comes to Special Ops, but if you are planning to shoot somebody in Midtown, having a bike right there and going straight into Central park, that would have the least amount of fucking cameras. Midtown, you can see everything. Just gunning it to the middle of Central park was, like, the most genius idea you could ever do in midtown Manhattan.

[Mal]

Yeah. No, this person knew what they were doing. This was obviously premeditated, and he had a plan, but still, I mean, for somebody to be killed in Midtown with so many cameras around, and police have yet to find this person and who he is. I don't know. It's just like, something has to be behind the scenes. Something's going on. I don't know who this guy is, who he knows, who he's connected to. But this obviously is not just somebody who didn't think about everything that they were about to do. Try to cross all T's and Dot all eyes as far as getting away. They said that somebody was breaking down. His outfit on social media was like, yo, he had steal this lie, steal this look. He had on 1300 Hermes. They like, yo, he was kind of drippy, though. Like. Like, he went.

[Rory]

He was in Midtown, man.

[Mal]

He went to kill somebody with all that drip on, like. But, yeah, I don't know. I do think that eventually they're gonna catch somebody. Hopefully it's the right person, because I could easily see them snatching the wrong person just to kind of put New Yorkers at ease and say, hey, we got him. And it's like, Central Park. Yeah, that's not the guy. Yeah, my bad.

[Rory]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Mal]

Don't do that.

[Rory]

I know it's your mess. I do find it kind of funny grabbing a coffee before murder.

[Mal]

Why?

[Julian]

Got to be sharp.

[Mal]

Is espresso double shot.

[Julian]

You don't break routine.

[Rory]

You're not. You're not going to do that. Like in which by the way. Oh, I totally forgot on my way here, more information. He's from Frederick Douglass houses. He's from the project.

[Mal]

Do they know?

[Julian]

How do you know that?

[Rory]

The only video they had, I guess when they were tracing back to everything he came out of Frederick Douglass houses on the Upper west side.

[Mal]

Oh, they're gonna try to put it on one of us.

[Damaris]

That white ass man.

[Mal]

I mean, he could be Puerto Rican.

[Julian]

You guys see the bullets?

[Rory]

White people live in the projects.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

No, they put it on one of us. That's what.

[Rory]

Oh.

[Julian]

Well, the bullets that he shot that were found the casings on the scene, they were said deny, defend and depose on the actual casings.

[Rory]

Which is. I read again on Reddit. So in fact. Which is the title of a book about health care or.

[Mal]

You read it on Reddit?

[Rory]

Yes.

[Mal]

Oh, so it's true.

[Rory]

Yeah, there. There's a book denied. Whatever. Whatever. What to do when health care denies your quote or whatever. Yes, that's what they said. It was in the comments. Yeah, I think you just had a delay. Delay, deny, defend. And what's. What's the bottom part?

[Julian]

Sorry, I was looking on the book why insurance companies don't pay claim and what you can do about it.

[Rory]

Yeah. So he wrote similar stuff on each bullet, which is kind of crazy. This is how much I don't know about guns. I didn't even know you could write on casings like that.

[Mal]

Why?

[Rory]

Like messages and I don't know. Yeah, I feel like it would burn off. I didn't think a Sharpie would get through that.

[Julian]

You don't remember when our.

[Mal]

Wait, did he write it on the bullet? He carved it.

[Damaris]

He might have carved it.

[Julian]

You may be able to write it or casing.

[Mal]

I don't know.

[Julian]

Unlike Mrs. They do. Like our politicians are right. Like Hooray. Like on a missile flying into Gaza.

[Rory]

Yeah, but they have. Yeah, but after that missile blows up, it doesn't say Hooray in like in.

[Mal]

The rubble, they don't find the shell and it still says hooray. Nobody's falling. A shell that just dropped out of a real estate. A jet.

[Rory]

It's like in Pearl harbor when they put those Japanese war medals on the bomb as a symbolism. Like it's A nuke, bro. Like, what?

[Mal]

They're not gonna see that. I promise you.

[Rory]

When the nickel.

[Mal]

I get the message, you know, like. Okay, I get it.

[Rory]

Alec Baldwin.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Rory]

I don't know.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

What other CEOs do you guys think it's okay to kill?

[Rory]

I'm not answering that.

[Mal]

Yeah. What you trying to. Yo, what's up with you?

[Damaris]

What?

[Mal]

Line us up. Yo, which other CEOs would y'all like?

[Damaris]

I just. I didn't say that y'all gonna go kill. I said that y'all think that. Okay, let me reword it differently. I'll frame it differently.

[Mal]

There you go.

[Damaris]

So there doesn't seem to be a lot of hoorah about this person dying. Because everybody feels like, because of what they did for work, that it's open season and it's okay for them to die.

[Rory]

Which I was shocked because we're all starting with the major labels. I assumed. I want to be sympathetic for the health care system.

[Damaris]

Who else do you guys think the world would be okay with killing Putin?

[Mal]

Why you? Why you think people would be okay.

[Julian]

With a red dot?

[Rory]

I mean, Russia is not everyone's friend. For, for example, Jon.

[Mal]

Un.

[Damaris]

For example, we can joke about it. For example, somebody said the. The. Somebody said the CEO of Easy Pass is hiding in his basket right now. Like.

[Mal]

Yeah, I wouldn't be. I wouldn't.

[Rory]

He's going to outlive everyone.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Easy Pass was doing, via nypd, doing raids in Staten island for people that owed, like, back tolls. They were doing raids in Staten island, like, busting down doors with the police to make sure Easy Pass was getting their money.

[Mal]

Whoever put up that toll in Midtown, they gotta be careful. They should stay home for.

[Rory]

Well, I mean, that was another scam and another racket because it's not even happening. It was just so a bunch of people get paid.

[Mal]

No, they said it's happening.

[Rory]

It's on hold now. Thank you.

[Damaris]

It's on hold. Yeah. What is. What was it called? Is that. No, that's the congestion.

[Mal]

I just read yesterday that it goes into effect January, something.

[Julian]

They. They had it in effect, put it on hold, and they're bringing it back. I don't know why.

[Rory]

All right, well, Mark, everyone involved with that.

[Mal]

Yeah. Like, whoever's putting those up. Mr. Coffee man, sir, with the 1300 Hermes, there's more work for you to do out here in the city, but.

[Rory]

All right. What would you guys do before he's.

[Mal]

That's the daredevil right there.

[Rory]

We've talked about 24 hours to live. What would you do if you were about to commit murder, what would your morning routine be? Clearly, this guy just did his regular, you know, I'm just. Go get a coffee, kick it.

[Mal]

I think you keep it the same. I think you keep your morning routine the same so nobody suspects it's you.

[Rory]

I just feel like if you're gonna commit murder, you have to think in the back of your mind, this could be my last day on Earth, or I could be going to jail for the rest of my life. I would probably have, like, the same 24 hours to live bucket list I.

[Mal]

Would try the night before going into the. Maybe the morning after. You need alibis. You want to go to your same, like, coffee shop, bakery. You need alibi. People say, no, I saw him in here. He came in everything. He does, every morning, had his coffee, had his. You know, you need that. You need people to vouch and say they saw you here, you were here. So it's kind of like, I have.

[Rory]

A better meal than a scone and a coffee from Starbucks.

[Mal]

Well, you don't want to kill on a full stomach.

[Rory]

That's true. Especially when you have to bike through Central Park.

[Mal]

Yeah. You have to keep it light. You know what I mean? You need enough sugars. You need espresso. You need that. Keep the. You know, the adrenaline going. You need that.

[Damaris]

Here's the thing with the espresso, because I thought about this, too, and it goes into Rory's morning routine. This. You can't. You gotta. Before the kill. Like, you can't. Like, you can't do anything else that's gonna make. You have to. Because you can't bike through central parking and be like, I gotta.

[Mal]

You know, this is why I think he might be a white murder.

[Rory]

And then ask Starbucks for the bathroom code.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mal]

But this is why I think he may be a white guy. Because white.

[Rory]

Because he looks white?

[Mal]

No, because white people, they can drink coffee and espresso, and they won't have to for, like, at least four hours. A person of color, like, we go. Immediately that shit comes out. It's like somebody just turned on the coffee machine again.

[Rory]

I'll tell you secrets. Not white. It's Metamucil and oat milk. Never put real milk in there. Just go all oat milk.

[Mal]

And you won't put Metamucil in there?

[Rory]

No, I drink my Metamucil.

[Mal]

Oh, to get your fiber.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Mal]

Okay.

[Rory]

Before the day starts, then I drink my coffee, and I don't have to immediately run to the bathroom. Before I commit murder.

[Mal]

Gotcha. Okay.

[Rory]

That guy clearly had, like, metamucil on his top lip.

[Mal]

Got it.

[Julian]

You said you would like, the night before you would do a thing like, so I'm thinking, like, similar to what like the 911 terrorists did. They went to the strip club.

[Rory]

Yeah. Which was like. Makes like all the sense in the world.

[Julian]

They were fingering chicks before they got a plethora of virgins the next day.

[Rory]

I would definitely out the gate, not pull out, like, so I could just leave another legacy.

[Julian]

True.

[Rory]

Just a fatherless child. But I would still feel like I would need to take the month before I do this murder to not pull out as much as I could so I could have a second child. My legacy. And I'm gonna be a hero.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Come on.

[Rory]

Killed UnitedHeal. And we should probably name the child after the guy just murdered.

[Mal]

That's a little sick.

[Rory]

But it's not sick to go get morning coffee before you murder. But I can't. I can't try to have another kid.

[Mal]

That's routine. That's routine. You don't change up your game in the ninth inning. Anybody that's playing professional sports, they don't change up nothing during the playoffs. What's their routine all year?

[Rory]

Do you think he said no one talked to me until I had my coffee that morning?

[Mal]

Probably. Probably does.

[Damaris]

Oh, I'll keep saying, does he have a family, but we don't know who this gentleman is. I don't know.

[Julian]

His wife made a statement.

[Mal]

Whose wife?

[Julian]

Oh, the CEO that got killed.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Julian]

She said, like, shit's been iffy. He was getting death threats leading up to this trip, all that kind of stuff.

[Rory]

But I feel like that's probably pretty standard. Anyone that.

[Mal]

Yeah, that's a regular.

[Julian]

Well, I mean, like, this whole thing brings up, like, the real question, which kind of what Demaris is like, alluding to, like, the fact that we're. We're all. We're all in agreeance. Fuck this guy. Who gives a shit? Like. But murder is obviously bad. People probably shouldn't be able to take matters into their own hands and be celebrated at the same time. But, like, what's the real. Like, clearly the system needs to change. So, like, this is an opportunity for maybe, like, a political party. The Democrats could use a win right now to maybe, like, restructure. Sure. Like, what's happening to get to this point, like, the public outcry is like, hooray. Fuck this guy. That's a problem.

[Rory]

Well, here's to your point of it. Shouldn't just be vigilante shit. And people shouldn't be able to put everything in their own hands and just murder someone because I don't. That guy could have been a good person. But what he represents.

[Julian]

Exactly.

[Rory]

I'm gonna go with he probably wasn't. But with that said, this isn't going to change a fucking thing. Like we're saying this guy's a hero, this and that. Nothing is going to change whatsoever. And even to the point of Democrats and Republicans, both of them profit off our health care system. Yeah, nothing's going to change. Like this guy was murdered in cold blood for no reason. And except, except for to make all of us today feel a little better that the little guy has some type of power and we're going to forget about it tomorrow and go right back to City MD and still have a copay.

[Mal]

Absolutely. So it changes nothing.

[Rory]

It did change. I know we're doing the harage but he didn't do anything. Nothing will be different.

[Mal]

No, but I think to what Julian is saying is obviously the people because everybody, nobody seems to be sad about what happened. And people actually rejoicing about it speaks to the fact that a lot of people are not happy with the current health care system in the country. And the dangerous part about this is does this set off a domino effect of other people now hunting down other CEOs of healthcare companies?

[Rory]

Maybe. But I mean every time there is like a mass shooting or even down to Trump's attempted assassination, we always have that conversation. Is this going to trickle down to more and more shit? Yes and no. I mean it's never going to stop with violence when it comes to, to this stuff. I don't know if it'll be connected directly to this, but there'll be more mass shootings, there'll be more assassination attempts, there'll be more of it. But that's been going on in America since I've been alive. I don't know if it changes what's going to happen.

[Julian]

And it seems like every publication got the same PR homework assignment because they all said in their headlines that the CEO kept a low profile. That was the every article. So we see AP News, pbs, Yahoo Finance, this other one, all of these had the same headline reflected referring to this guy that he kept a low profile.

[Rory]

As opposed, as opposed to like influencer?

[Damaris]

I don't.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Mal]

I just don't understand why they felt.

[Julian]

The need on couches at the clubs.

[Rory]

Like yeah, contrary to most, like not every CEO is Jay Z. Most CEOs are, are we don't know who the they are.

[Mal]

Never heard about this gentleman before yesterday.

[Rory]

Yeah, no idea who the he was. Yeah, I just know I have that healthcare system, and boy, does it suck sometimes. Yeah, like when you burn your hand and you still have to pay a copay. I thought I had health insurance.

[Damaris]

How much was your copay?

[Rory]

It was like 200 bucks.

[Damaris]

That for a burnt hand?

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Nah, that's too much.

[Mal]

Gotta put some butter and some lemon juice on that.

[Damaris]

And what the did they even do? For real?

[Rory]

Nothing.

[Julian]

Nothing, bro. You go there.

[Rory]

No, they literally. I was paying for the visit. Yeah, no, they didn't do anything. I was paying for the visitors.

[Mal]

You know what helps that honey?

[Rory]

You know what also helps? Don't grab a skillet that came out of a broiler.

[Mal]

Naturally. But in case you have to put some honey on it.

[Rory]

But again, we all love corporations. We should be defending how could this happen to our healthc care system. Just like the major labels. Do you think we'll get a Charlemagne rant about this one? I'm sorry.

[Mal]

Stop, man. Because you're trying to pull me into something and I don't want to do that. Like, I don't want to. I'm trying to change.

[Rory]

No, but I feel like Charlemagne would want us to defend the health care system and the people that are in charge. We should never question them.

[Mal]

That is true.

[Rory]

It would make sense that Charlemagne would say something like that because he has been on retainer with Atlantic for, I don't know, 15 years. So I do understand why his rant exists. Yeah, nobody should try to audit the major labels because they'll see Charlemagne the God as a line item. And on top of that, I think it's funny that somebody is mad at Drake doing ho shit by sending lawsuits. CND's petitions about being called a pedophile when he has sent C&DS to people because they were calling him a certified pedophile. Anyway, I'm sorry, I got too far.

[Mal]

No, that's. That's. That's. You know, if we're. If it's factual, you know, Fridays, then it's fact Fridays.

[Rory]

And I have no, no, no dog in this fight. Like I always say, no issue with Charlemagne. And by the way, I don't. I don't even really think that rant was about us, but the comments said it was about us, so we have to reply. That's how the Internet works. He didn't say our name, but it must have been about Rory and Mo. So here we are to give the comments what they want.

[Mal]

Listen, I'm on the side of. I don't. I don't.

[Rory]

I just saw Charlamagne and wave to him.

[Mal]

Yeah, there's no beef. It's on today.

[Julian]

Anyway. Back.

[Rory]

No. Some. At horrible. Oh, he. Way back.

[Mal]

Oh, yeah. I don't.

[Rory]

But it wasn't like I'm guys. It was not like a. It was just, hey, what's up?

[Mal]

Yes.

[Rory]

But there's no real issue with. With that.

[Mal]

Anybody that doesn't say my name. I'm not responding to nothing, man. I'm just not. But I love the way you put that so eloquently just now and so factual. So I appreciate that. Thank you.

[Rory]

United Health CEO shot dead outside Midtown Hotel.

[Damaris]

Yeah, y'all are the original OB hoes, though. I mean, I understand.

[Rory]

First of all, some of them say that at all. I think OV Homo would have been funnier.

[Damaris]

Like, actually very funny.

[Mal]

Don't.

[Rory]

Don't regurgitate what Kendrick has as a bridge on the biggest song of the year for your recited Dell computer rant.

[Damaris]

Yo, are you.

[Rory]

I'm sorry.

[Damaris]

I'm sorry you didn't have your coffee today.

[Rory]

I did not.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Rory]

I did not.

[Damaris]

That's what it is.

[Mal]

And nobody can't. Nah, see, I can't. Y'all trying to prove. Y'all trying to pull me.

[Julian]

No, I'm just saying if we need to, we can.

[Mal]

Ah. Because listen, let me. Let me go on the side.

[Rory]

I love a nah. Because.

[Mal]

Nah, nah. Because, like, real talk. I don't. Anybody that says I don't take hit dogs holler. So I'm. I'm not. I don't feel like any of that was directed towards me if he didn't say my name. But I just. I. I just feel like Charlotte. I don't even want to say his name. But he's not the guy to talk like that. When he said he would suck somebody's dick if he lost a bet. I just don't think that any man could speak and that, like, boldly when you said, if so and so doesn't go to jail, I'll suck some dick.

[Julian]

Like, are you referring to when he said he'd suck six nines dick?

[Mal]

Yeah, like, what was that? What part of the bet was that?

[Damaris]

I'm a girl. I don't even jump to, like, sucking dick.

[Rory]

We could have done some push ups. Like, we could have.

[Mal]

Yeah. So when you. When you get to talking about holding dicks and all this other. It's like, again, I don't feel like he was Talking to me. My name is my name. People know who I am. So if you're not saying my name, I'm not responding. But I just feel like he can't talk to whoever he was talking to like that, knowing the shit that he said about sucking dick if he lost a bet. Just a little crazy for you to be talking like that. That's all.

[Rory]

A lesson. My father told me young that I still follow a man honors his debts. That's my real issue with, like, that's my. If Charlemagne wants to do that. But, like, who am I to judge any of that on my side? Like, you honor your debts.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Rory]

That's what a real man does. If you owe something, you pay it back.

[Mal]

Pay that so that man.

[Rory]

So you lost. You lost the bet.

[Mal]

Pay that man. Go pay that man. Pay him what he's owed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it might be interest on top of that right now.

[Damaris]

Damn, he got swallowed even.

[Mal]

For sure. Yeah, for sure.

[Rory]

And by the way, this is all in good fun. I swear. There's no real Charlemagne. He say our name. We joking around.

[Mal]

Drink that baby mud. Drink it.

[Julian]

Oh, my Baby mud is crazy. I've never heard that.

[Mal]

Drink it. He said it.

[Rory]

The.

[Mal]

Y'all.

[Julian]

Look at.

[Mal]

Look at everybody looking at me for. I'm sorry, man. I'm doing this new thing. I'm still grieving the loss of my beloved pet, man. I don't know. I'm sorry, man. I. You know, I don't want to start. No. This going into the new year. I'm sorry, man.

[Rory]

Neither do I. This is all. All in good fun.

[Mal]

Yeah, man.

[Damaris]

So Br Id is just gay, cuz. Why homie want Kendrick?

[Mal]

I don't think he said he wants to sleep.

[Julian]

That he would.

[Mal]

Dude, that's more so of a disrespect. Me and I could. You. I could whoop your ass. I could literally mop the floor with you.

[Damaris]

Have you ever said you wanted to somebody that you knew whose ass you could be? Have you ever said that used to.

[Julian]

Be a Tyson tactic?

[Rory]

Yeah. I'll you. So you love me. Love me and fill in.

[Mal]

I believe him.

[Rory]

The other.

[Julian]

That was hard, too. He meant that.

[Mal]

I believe Mike. When he said that, I was like, you know what? He's not lying.

[Julian]

Maybe.

[Rory]

And if he did, it wouldn't even be, like, an erotic thing.

[Mal]

Yeah, no, no, no.

[Rory]

It would be a violent.

[Mal]

Somebody stop this.

[Rory]

Like, there would be nothing gay about it. It would just be. It'd be horrific.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Rory]

I'll fuck you till you love me.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Rory]

And Then use the F word after.

[Mal]

Yeah. Love it. Love it, man.

[Rory]

All right, so I guess we get into the Schultz thing.

[Mal]

Let me just say this. I think Andrew Schultz. I understand everything he said. I understand where he was coming from. I think that people are just mad that it came from that face. I think if it was a brown, more melanated face, people would be inclined to agree.

[Damaris]

But a brown, more melanated face wouldn't say that.

[Mal]

I mean, Charlemagne said he would suck dick if he lost a bet. So it's kind of interesting.

[Rory]

Let's see how those two things correlate.

[Mal]

Well, Shoulder said he would make love to a man. He was more gentle about it. He's like, I can make love to you if I wanted to.

[Rory]

Okay, but are you on the side of. Only I'm allowed to talk about the problems in my house. Outsiders are not.

[Mal]

No.

[Rory]

Okay.

[Mal]

Because the problems in your house can affect me too. Like, if I'm a teacher.

[Rory]

You think Schultz was affected?

[Mal]

No, I'm just saying if the problems in your house can affect me as well. That's the thing that I think, because you go out into the real world, right? So now if you haven't problems, you have having a bad day, and we work together, and you come into the workspace with that energy. That directly affects me because of.

[Rory]

Certainly happens.

[Mal]

Exactly. So, yeah, it affects. Yeah, absolutely. Not saying that I can tell you how to fix the problems in your house. That's maybe not my place. But to say that the problems in your house don't affect other people, I think is a bit of a stretch.

[Rory]

I mean, all right, I'm on the side of not really giving a fuck what Schultz has to say about hip hop to begin with, and that's not a shot. I think Schultz is a great comedian. I just have never cared what he's ever had to say about hip hop. It's never crossed my mind.

[Mal]

He's one of many people I don't.

[Rory]

And that's not just a Schultz thing. There's plenty of people.

[Mal]

Plenty of people. I don't care.

[Rory]

With that said, I do understand somewhat of the outrage of people that are looking at this like, all right, Kendrick said something about you. Why are you making this a hip hop thing? If you just want to talk to Kendrick Lamar, talk to Kendrick Lamar. Why are you now trying to devalue hip hop? Even if there is some truth in what he's saying, I don't think we needed Schultz to tell us that hip hop has had a misogynistic history. What but why can't it be about Kendrick? Like, I laughed when he said, I'll you in a jail cell. I thought it was funny. I'll make love to you. I thought it was hilarious, but I. I see why people are upset. What the does Schultz have to say about hip hop when you're talking to Kendrick Lamar? Kendra is not the face of hip hop. But he was not all hip. He's not all hip hop. What does that have to do with what we're talking about?

[Mal]

I think he spoke about things directly associated with Kendrick.

[Rory]

He did, but I think what people are more upset about is not him saying, well, I guess some people are upset that he said he'd fuck Kendrick Lamar. But the overall outrage I've seen is who is Schultz to criticize hip hop? And what does that even have to do with you and Kendrick Lamar?

[Mal]

What? That's always a slippery. Because on one hand, Schultz has obviously supported hip hop.

[Damaris]

How does he support it?

[Rory]

I don't want to make this like I'm going against Schultz, but I have to give some. Since fucking when has Andrew Schultz given back to hip hop?

[Mal]

Well, you say she giving back. Do you think that Andrew Schultz has ever purchased tickets to hip hop shows? Do you think he's ever purchased hip hop music?

[Damaris]

I actually don't think.

[Mal]

All right, man. All right. I don't think Andrew sh. Has ever been to a hip hop concert ever in his life.

[Rory]

Cool.

[Mal]

Nobody in here thinks Andrew sh. Has ever been to a hip hop concert.

[Julian]

I don't think. Oh, yeah, of course.

[Rory]

No, he's been to 1550 Cent shows last year. I don't think he paid for the ticket.

[Mal]

I'm not saying I said supported hip hop.

[Damaris]

Okay, so he's spending.

[Mal]

Andrew Schultz has a huge platform. Has he not supported artists in hip hop? Has he not spoken positively about artists in hip hop?

[Rory]

Oh, yeah, probably.

[Mal]

All right then. So why are we. So now that he's speaking.

[Rory]

That's the line.

[Mal]

No, I'm not saying he's responded to somebody sending what he felt like was a direct shot at him on a record. This did not come out of the blue, thin air. He's responded to a shot that somebody sent at him. And that's the problem with people. When you send a shot at somebody, you can't dictate then how they respond to that shot. That's all I'm saying. I understand why people are mad at Andrew. That face, talking about this culture. I get it. But he only responded because he was sent for.

[Rory]

I agree.

[Mal]

So let's keep that in perspective as well.

[Damaris]

What was he not rightfully sent for, though?

[Mal]

Whether he was rightfully sent for or not, he was sent for. So he's responding to somebody sending a shot at him.

[Rory]

And I'm telling you, I have no real issue with him making the jokes back to Kendrick. I actually thought it was a hilarious rant. The second part that I'm saying, and what I think most people are outraged about is who the fuck are you to put hip hop on trial? Who the fuck am I to put hip hop on trial? Like, what are you talking like? Yes, we all know hip hop has a misogynistic path, but who the fuck are you? I think, like, it has nothing to do with your backing with Kendrick Lamar.

[Mal]

I don't think it was more so about him putting hip hop on trial. I think he was directly putting the mirror up to Kendrick saying, look at the hypocrisy that you are speaking of. Like, I can't make jokes about black women, but here. So you, the culture that you're a part of can disrespect, tear down, talk about, degrade, all kind of shit. And you not speaking to none of that, but you speaking to a joke that I'm not.

[Rory]

I think it is fair to say that there has been evidence that hip hop has not supported black women. But as opposed to what the world. Like, why is hip hop now? The niche thing that we have to say is misogynist.

[Mal]

Nobody's saying that this is.

[Rory]

The world is misogynistic.

[Mal]

That's a fact. But nobody.

[Rory]

What does that have to do with your back and forth with Kendrick Lamar? I know he was saying.

[Mal]

He was responding.

[Rory]

Comment. Can't make jokes about black women. And he's saying, yo, but hip hop doesn't. Okay, you're going back and forth with Kendrick Lamar. From what I've seen, I don't know Kendrick Lamar. I don't think he's torn down black women.

[Mal]

No, I don't think so.

[Rory]

What does Schultz reply in that?

[Damaris]

You picked the wrong. You picked the wrong rapper.

[Rory]

I do. With what we're talking about. Like, talk to Kendrick. Has Kendrick been misogynistic? Tell me that.

[Julian]

That.

[Rory]

Why are you putting hip hop on trial? And if you want to put hip hop on trial for not protecting black women, put the world on trial for not protecting black women.

[Mal]

Right. But again, keeping it to the perspective of what this is, he's responding. He's responding to something, particularly to a direct bar from this artist that was. He felt like, again, I don't think Kendrick said his name, but he felt like that was a shot at him. At him.

[Rory]

It was.

[Mal]

Okay, so he responded to that in the way he responded. Were points made in what Andrew Swiss was saying? Sure, that's. That's all I'm speaking to. Points were made, but from who? It's from. People have a problem.

[Julian]

No, but Rory's point is his points were made about the art form, not the person that attacked him.

[Rory]

Yeah, no, he.

[Mal]

He spoke about. He spoke about. He spoke about his affiliations with people who have disrespected women who have cases that they've assaulted. When he. Andrew spoke about all of that. He spoke about all that in that rant. Don't. Don't just look at the clips. Go look at that whole thing. He directly. People that are directly affiliated with Kendrick. He spoke.

[Rory]

We listen. We're flagrant fans.

[Julian]

Yeah, I listen to flavor. I listen to the whole episode. And that's the thing. Like, there's clips going out, but he makes. It's like a running. That whole episode is like a running thing of him jabbing at Kendrick, which I have nothing.

[Rory]

That's fine.

[Julian]

He's totally well with me. Raps about you, but it's run throughout the whole episode. That clip is. Does not do it justice enough. He really goes at it, but I don't know why the not on it.

[Rory]

And we're also like micro analyzing of comedy rant. So, like, we're taking it a little too far. But I understand outrage. Like, I get why people are looking at him like, who the are you to even bring up hip hop and its faults? That's all. If you want to bring up Kendrick Lamar's faults, that's fair, because you guys have a back and forth. Like you said, Kendrick said something about him. He's allowed to reply any way he wants. But what does hip hop have to do with this now?

[Mal]

So, all right, so on one hand. All right, so Angel Shoes can't speak on hip hop because he's not. Because he's a white man.

[Rory]

I never said that.

[Damaris]

No, Rory's sitting right next to you.

[Mal]

So why can't Andrew speak on hip hop?

[Damaris]

Because Andrew Schultz is not involved in the culture of hip hop, that's why.

[Mal]

Well, how is he not involved in the culture? I mean.

[Rory]

You mean what?

[Mal]

How is he not involved in the culture?

[Rory]

Because he doesn't make music, I don't think.

[Mal]

Just tell me. You can't say he's not involved in the culture and don't explain how he's.

[Rory]

Not Andrew Schultz would 1000% be successful with or without Charlemagne. He is an extremely talented person. His success would happen no matter what. But he would not be in this culture had he not set next to fucking Charlemagne in the beginning of his career. We would. Schultz would have nothing to do with anything hip hop related if he was not sitting next to Charlamagne, the God.

[Julian]

Yeah, but that's not fair because that's. That's his life. That's what happened.

[Rory]

No, I know.

[Julian]

So then he is a. To what?

[Mal]

That's like me saying you would have nothing to do with the culture if shot money didn't hire you.

[Damaris]

That's not true, though. That's not true because Roy was raised in this culture like Rory.

[Rory]

To your point, I bought matches.

[Damaris]

But that's the difference. Like when people bring up white people in hip hop. Right. And I'm all for gatekeeping culture. If you know Rory, you know Rory's story. Rory has been addicted to hip hop since he was a kid.

[Mal]

And you don't think Andrew Schultz has been.

[Damaris]

No.

[Mal]

How do you. How do you. How do you know that?

[Rory]

I don't know.

[Damaris]

When has he ever shared that? When has he ever shared park?

[Julian]

He does that often on the show. And he grew up in New York City.

[Rory]

Grew up here.

[Julian]

He grew up in New York City.

[Damaris]

Does not New York City listen to.

[Julian]

This show like he does people in the Midwest. You can't just say that.

[Mal]

Yeah, I'm not. I'm. I don't know Andrew Schultz's like, origins.

[Rory]

Neither do I. I don't want to, I think.

[Mal]

But that's the thing.

[Julian]

Like.

[Rory]

But I can make an assumption.

[Julian]

They say often.

[Mal]

I mean, we both can, but I'm.

[Julian]

Not everyone on that show.

[Rory]

You even agree. Agree with me.

[Mal]

No, I'm just saying I'm not. I'm not going to sit here and say he. He's not a part of the culture. I don't know his background. I don't know. He might have been fucking BMX, riding, tagging, graffiti tagging.

[Rory]

Adam22.

[Mal]

I know Adam was doing. But I'm saying Schultz might have been a part of that as well. I can't speak to that.

[Damaris]

Schultz is more involved in our culture.

[Mal]

I don't know what Schultz has done. I can't speak to that. So I can't say he hasn't. Because then something to come out tomorrow where he was doing all kind of shit in the early 90s that I had no idea about. A part of the culture. And then I look like I got egg on my face, so I can't.

[Rory]

You didn't know Schultz was a B boy?

[Mal]

I don't. I don't know. I don't know. I'm gonna be honest. I don't know much about studio. I don't know nothing much about.

[Julian]

It could have been B boy.

[Mal]

So let's.

[Damaris]

So can we talk about. Because I think this is a conversation that needs to be had. And maybe we aren't the people that have it, but it. We're here. What makes someone a part of the culture? What makes it okay for someone to even comment on our culture and be looked to and given clips and given attention for it? What. What makes you a part of the culture?

[Rory]

I can't answer that because it's not my place to answer. I have admittedly a fucking guest. I don't know who can say what. I listen to the people that can make those calls.

[Julian]

But also, like, if you listen.

[Rory]

I'm just commenting.

[Mal]

What makes anybody able to do that?

[Damaris]

That's the question I just asked.

[Mal]

But anybody whether not just shows like particular. Anybody. What makes them a part of the culture?

[Damaris]

That's the question I just asked.

[Mal]

I'm asking you answer it. What makes you.

[Damaris]

Asking me the question I just asked you.

[Mal]

Okay, but I'm asking what is. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. So let me help you out, because whenever I ask you something, you seem to not understand what I'm asking. Ask you. I'm gonna break it down.

[Damaris]

Neither do you.

[Mal]

What part of the culture do you think Andrew Schultz had to be involved in for him to be able to speak on the culture?

[Damaris]

I just asked you the question. What makes anybody. I'd never said white. I never said Andrew Schultz. Let's break it down. What makes anybody able to speak on the culture? This is your show. I'm asking you.

[Mal]

I think if you consume it, I think if you grew up around it, I think that if you have people that are directly involved in it, I think that if you are somebody who has done your history on it, I think if you're somebody who is. Supports it, embraces it, I think that all gives you validity to speak on the negatives that come along. If you supported it and consumed it and. And helped forward it in some form of fashion, I think that that gives you validity to speak on it. So now what do you think Andrew shoots would have to do for him to speak on the coach?

[Damaris]

Well, you just named everything that you believe. So do you believe that he's done that?

[Mal]

I believe in ways he supported hip hop culture. Absolutely.

[Damaris]

Okay. And you mean buying a tape, buying a ticket. This isn't me trying to argue with you. I'm genuinely asking about however he's consumed.

[Mal]

It, however he supported it, however he's tried to help further it, I think that he can then speak on the negatives that are also in the culture. As long as he's not tearing down and trying to, like, you know, pull the culture backwards. I think that he could speak on the negatives. If he's a part of it, he grew up in it, around it, why can he not speak on. But this is anybody. If you grew up around the culture, a part of it, have partaken in some part of the culture, supported it in any way, whichever your way is, whether you stood online to. To see your favorite artist, bought their merch, went to concerts, shared the music with somebody. I don't. However you supported the. The forwarding of this culture, I think that if you notice something that is negative about it, you can speak on it.

[Damaris]

Okay, but if that's. But do we just give that. When somebody's speaking on it in response to somebody coming at you? Like, if you never cared about the.

[Mal]

Vibe, that's just, man, somebody. If you feel like somebody's coming at you and you feel like you want to respond, that's your choice as a man. I don't have nothing to do with that.

[Damaris]

So then that means that. That the reason your reasoning behind speaking on something, you're not coming from a good place. You're coming from a place of, oh, this person disrespected me. So I want to disrespect them back. Because you didn't give a. About the violence and hip hop towards women before. You can use it as a aha, gotcha. To somebody saying something to you. So that's where it's like, you don't really care about this. This is not a true critique because you don't give a. But if you can use it as. How can you say somebody else?

[Mal]

How can you say he doesn't give a though?

[Damaris]

Because you haven't addressed it before. Well, I have no recognition of him.

[Mal]

All right, so say that. And that's my point.

[Damaris]

But that's the only thing we can speak on, though, is what we've seen.

[Mal]

Which is what I said in the beginning. I don't know Andrew Schultz's origin story. I don't know it. So I can't say he's not a part of the culture. I can't say he's out of line for speaking on the culture the way he did. I don't know his origin story. Now, if you tell me his origin story, and it's like, yo, but you was never really. You never fucked with the culture. You never supported it. You never. Like, then we could have that story. But until then, I'm saying, you can't sit there and say, nah, he can't. Why not? If he. If he comes from the culture and he supported the culture in his life, why can't he not speak on the negatives of it? I speak on cultures that I'm not from, but I've also supported those coaches as well. I could speak on the negatives of it. Like, yo, that's kind of whack. I may not be from it, but I supported it at somehow, okay? It's the same all the way around. And I think that instead of us putting this divisive racial energy into every. Every everything somebody responds to, it's like, yo, but have the conversation. Like, yo, shows. But, yo, where you from? Like, tell us your story if you don't know. Because some people know Schultz better than I do, and they're probably looking at us like, yo, y'all bugging. He used to do this, he did that. He like, he. We might be dead wrong. So that's what I'm saying. I. Me, personally, I don't know. But if you're somebody that's from the culture and you supported it, you can absolutely speak to the negatives of the culture. 100. Why not? We all do it. We all speak on cultures we not from. And the negatives of it. That's fucked up. That's fucked up, yo. They was fouled for that. We not from those cultures, but we supported it somehow.

[Damaris]

But when it's somebody from that culture that you would. No matter what you've done, you're still a visitor. And when it's somebody that's from that culture and they are addressing, directly addressing, they're not just making funny for no reason. They're addressing you, making condemning jokes about black women, Right? And this is an artist who has been. Who no matter what he's done in his real life or whatever y'all believe, has been known for being the black savior and uplifting black women, right? So when that artist says something to you about the disparaging remarks that you make about black women, he's not the only person to critique you about that. Instead of saying something about or internalizing or looking at maybe what the fuck you're saying, you responded oh, but you're black, and hip hop disrespects black women. Yeah, but you're not black, and you're also disrespecting black women. So that's the thing. Like, it's not. People aren't just attacking him because he came back at Kendrick. It's what Kendrick said about him or allegedly about him. You make disparaging comments about black women. Why are y'all letting white comedians make disparaging remarks about black women instead of him shutting up? Cuz he knows he does that and just be like, hey, I do make these remarks. I'm gonna shut the fuck up. You come back and be like, oh, but hip hop.

[Rory]

I thought it was a great combo, by the way. I was enjoying being a fly on the wall. It was like a really big fly.

[Damaris]

House fly. I'm loud horse fly.

[Rory]

No, I really. That was a really, really good conversation.

[Julian]

Schultz did tweet while you guys were talking, the clip of that little short guy, what's his name? Punching Mike Tyson. Alluding to, obviously, Schultz being Tyson in this and him picking up who would be Kendrick in this situation.

[Rory]

Have you seen the clip? When Tyson later found out, he's like, I didn't know that. He was a grown man.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Rory]

But also, to close this, I was a big fan of Brilliant Idiots in the early days because I'm a hipster. Schultz has very admittedly said he's not really a hip hop guy.

[Mal]

Like, okay, so I didn't know that.

[Rory]

Yeah, he's.

[Damaris]

I did.

[Rory]

That was always kind of like the thing when Charlemagne would even talk about hip hop. Schultz at that time, it's drastically changed. But at that time, you're like, I'm a shut up. I don't even know about this hip hop shit.

[Julian]

Like, okay, that whole crew, like, Mark and all the guys on that crew. I mean, I know Alex listens to this show, but, like, Alex is supposed to be. Alex is supposed to be like. They're like, default, like, report on black shit guy. But the funny thing about Alex is, like, now to admit it's too. Like, none of them are hip hop experts. They're not in that space that much. So, like, they're all very kind of like, you know, secondhand information when it comes to, like, reporting on hip hop and all that stuff. But what.

[Rory]

I think mom made a great point in saying that we all do comment on shit that isn't our culture all the time.

[Mal]

We all do.

[Rory]

But I completely understand what Damaris is saying and, like, all right, when it comes to this specific topic. Stay the out of it. If it comes to any. Any respect level with black women, I. I get it.

[Julian]

I think of the two clips that are going viral of his response, so it sounds like the. The outrage from Damaris is coming from, like, him with the. The. The commenting on the black woman. But the other clip that we all seem acceptable and funny was him Kendrick in a cell. Because that's at. Kendrick. That's not at, like, the. That's more of a. To Schultz's credit, like, that's the more comedic. Like, that's the angle you should take is like, you're a sock puppet to me.

[Mal]

Nice.

[Julian]

I get that.

[Rory]

All right, let's. Let. Let's. Let's try to have some fun with. Who do we have in the fight?

[Julian]

Oh, it's not even close.

[Rory]

Yeah, I think I'm going.

[Julian]

Schultz. Yeah. It's not even.

[Rory]

I hate to say it.

[Julian]

Yeah, come on.

[Mal]

No, but can't he be doing is his burpees?

[Rory]

And I think you're not wrong.

[Julian]

Yeah. That video is hard Kung fu Kenny. Okay, Imagine he go out there and start going.

[Mal]

Like, what if. What if. What if Kendrick roundhouse kick shows and put him to sleep. Like. Like, what if Kendrick really knows some martial arts and we ain't know. He was, like, studying Schultz fight. Doesn't he?

[Rory]

Like, so how I know that? And I'm fine telling embarrassing things. When Schultz and I were having our small back and forth about some personal issues, you know, I. My Irish rage tends to get in my brain sometimes. Did some research, Saw him shadow boxing. Saw him sparring. I was like, all right, he can fight.

[Mal]

That's why you had.

[Rory]

And his reach way different than mine. Yeah, he had certain angles. I was like, oh, he could fight.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Never mind.

[Mal]

Let me chill. Let me chill. On my podcast, I. I fare okay.

[Rory]

With a taller person in a fight out of experience and. And technicality. He has technical and way more reach than me. I. I wouldn't fare well enough.

[Mal]

So you're saying he would essentially be able to make love to you as well?

[Julian]

You could be on his other knee next.

[Mal]

Yeah, it'd be like a threesome. It'd be like a threesome. It'll be a little vanilla sandwich.

[Rory]

Schultz, I'm down to go to the Tombs this weekend if you want, and we can settle this once and for all.

[Mal]

Oh, man.

[Rory]

Anyways, what else do we have on this list? Nick Cannon response to Orlando Brown. Speaking of sucking dick.

[Mal]

Wait, Nick Cannon did what?

[Damaris]

Nick Cannon or Orlando Brown? I don't know. Which one of them are is crazy.

[Mal]

Nah.

[Julian]

Nick finally called out cap on all this stuff. Orlando Browns finally called out cat. I mean, I don't know why it took so long. It is pretty funny, but this is the clip.

[Mal]

I suck Orlando Brown's. I'm entertained by all his fucking interviews.

[Julian]

Fucking lying ass nigga.

[Damaris]

Anybody else want some?

[Mal]

Whether he talk about me or you talking about anybody, but I don't take him serious. You can't take back what your butthole receive. He's in a mental space where he knows he's trolling. He don't give a.

[Caller]

He d said if you pay him.

[Mal]

Enough money, he gonna say whatever. But in all fun, because I'm a comedian, I think this shit's funny. I think we should play the clip.

[Julian]

So that was it.

[Rory]

So. So Orlando Brown was on somebody's stream, I don't know. And they were not talking about Nick Cannon whatsoever. They're having a completely different conversation. And then he stood up and screamed that Nick Cannon sucked his dick just out of nowhere. I love the way Nick replied. If Orlando Brown said that about me, I would also scream, I did not suck Orlando Brown's dick. Dick.

[Mal]

Let's.

[Rory]

Can we clear this up? Yeah, let's just put that I did not suck his dick.

[Damaris]

Nobody thought you did, Nick.

[Rory]

But one person was like, that checks out.

[Mal]

Yeah, no, I don't do that because it was definitely some. On social media probably was like, you know what Nick probably did?

[Rory]

He's overcompensating with all these kids.

[Mal]

Exactly. Because he's really gay.

[Rory]

You know, wilding out. What does that really mean? Squad, red squad, squad.

[Damaris]

There are some Orlando Brown Jaguar, Right? Believers, for sure.

[Mal]

Absolutely. 100%. I told you, everybody, somebody. Somebody bought a National Enquirer. Every time they check out at. At the grocery store, people believe in that.

[Rory]

Here's what's so interesting about those two. Like, they both, I think, do have some mental health issues and say some insane things. But every now and then, out of the 10,000 false things they say, they say one thing true. And then that's where all the believers start.

[Mal]

Yeah, I mean, a clock is right. A broken clock is right, you know, twice a day. Yeah, I mean, so there you go.

[Rory]

When was the last time you, like, looked at a real clock?

[Mal]

That.

[Rory]

That I feel like we should get rid of that saying. Like, because if this clock is broken, it's not going to be right twice a day.

[Julian]

Orlando Brown said he sucked his cannon.

[Mal]

See? See?

[Damaris]

Orlando Brown is a national treasure.

[Julian]

I would love to have him on here, I would.

[Damaris]

Can we get him?

[Mal]

No.

[Damaris]

Why not? Y'all would take Orlando Brown? Here's the thing.

[Rory]

I don't think it's a bit like. I really think that's who he is. And I'd be scared. Forget being on Mike. I would just be scared to have him in here.

[Mal]

I don't know how to have a conversation with somebody that might put this microphone in their throat.

[Julian]

Like, he said, y'all had that white.

[Damaris]

Boy fart on the mic.

[Mal]

Mic.

[Julian]

Shout out. Mark Norman.

[Rory]

That is your mic. That's the one.

[Damaris]

No, no, the. It wasn't.

[Julian]

It is. It still smells. It might be this.

[Rory]

If Orlando Brown put his mouth on one of these microphones, would you continue to use it?

[Mal]

No.

[Rory]

Oh, man.

[Mal]

I would actually.

[Rory]

BH is really expensive.

[Mal]

I would actually open my phone to be on B H. Like, as soon as he's. He's done doing it.

[Rory]

As long as it's not the Sabbath.

[Julian]

Now, here's the full quote. When it came down. When it came down to Nick Cannon. He really do suck cannons, and that's what he does. He sucked me a good cannon. He sucked a good cannon out of me. Nick, you sucked my dick and you don't ever forget it. That's why Mariah Carey left your ass. And you're lying.

[Damaris]

Why?

[Rory]

Imagine if Mariah Carey left you because Orlando. Because you were sucking Orlando.

[Julian]

He said, stop lying and running around with Kevin Hart. What is Kevin.

[Mal]

So I'm saying, like, that's. And that's the point. Like, Orlando Brown is just saying anything. It's like, I. But I love the fact that Nick Cannon.

[Julian]

Look at these quotes.

[Mal]

He recognized that. He laughed about it. He's like, listen, man, he's. He's trolling. And obviously, like, I think it's entertaining. Whatever. Like, he's not taking it so serious, you know? I mean, like, he's like, all right, whatever, man. I get it.

[Damaris]

Did you guys ever see his interview with funny Marco and Ray J?

[Rory]

Yes.

[Damaris]

I'm like, the three funniest things on the planet had an interview. They like, who. Who is the producer?

[Rory]

It was tough to get through. It's just. It was so much going on.

[Julian]

It's a lot of personality.

[Rory]

Yeah. Did you guys also see that Nick can. Was diagnosed with narcissism?

[Julian]

No way.

[Mal]

No, no. Who. Finally. Who got the diagnosis right? Who.

[Rory]

There's two things that everyone knew before the actual person. It was that Ariana Grande was going to leave Pete Davidson after he did his PR run. When they got engaged, all of us Were like, bro, this is. This isn't gonna work. He was the last to find that out. And also that Nick Cannon is a narcissist. You don't have that many baby mothers, and you're not a narcissist. And we are huge supporters of Nick Cannon. We love Nick Cannon. But, yeah, that's pretty clear that he's a narcissist. You can't have that many children.

[Damaris]

Death, taxes, Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson. And Nick being a narcissist, the four things we're sure about.

[Rory]

That's probably why Nick is extremely successful and, like, why he is the legend that he is is probably based off a lot of his narcissism. But anyone that didn't see having 45 kids with 40 women, can we put. Is it narcissistic behavior?

[Mal]

What? The definition of narcissist. Because that's a word we use a lot, and I don't think people really know the.

[Rory]

Yeah, it was like when Lauryn Hill taught us reciprocity. Everyone just started using it. Yeah, narcissism's up there now.

[Damaris]

You guys think we have any narcissists in the room?

[Mal]

A narcissist is someone who has a personality style that is characterized by an excessive focus on themselves and their own needs, often at the expense of others. They may have an exaggerated sense of self importance and excessive need for admiration and a diminished ability to empathize with other people's feelings.

[Julian]

Nice.

[Mal]

Okay. Inflated sense of self importance. Narcissists have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They may. They may feel superior and grandiose and expect to be treated as such. Okay. Lack of empathy. Narcissists have a diminished ability to empathize with other people's feelings. They may see the feelings, needs, or desires of others as a signal of weakness. Okay.

[Rory]

Trouble with relationships. Defense mechanisms. Okay, so, I mean, I. I would say Damaris is the only narcissist in here.

[Julian]

Without question. I think there's a photo of her literally the most.

[Damaris]

Literally the most ex. I am the exact opposite of a narcissist.

[Julian]

The photo of her.

[Rory]

And I hate way too much to be one.

[Mal]

You said what?

[Rory]

I hate myself way too much to be a narcissist. I don't even like myself.

[Mal]

I don't expect nobody else to like me. I don't like myself.

[Rory]

I have no value.

[Julian]

You guys know the story of Narcissus? It's a great.

[Rory]

No, I don't.

[Julian]

It's the. The classic, like the. The guy that Was so infatuated, obsessed with himself. He looks into a river and he sees his reflection. And he's so enamored with himself that he falls in and can't swims it and drowns.

[Rory]

That's a cute tale.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Mal]

Who made that tail up?

[Julian]

It's like one of those, like, Greek mythology, mythological stories.

[Rory]

Jesus was a narcissist.

[Mal]

Listen, we don't got enough time to go down that rabbit hole. That's a long episode right there.

[Rory]

Well, I don't think there's narcissists in the room. To answer your question, no. Do you think so you can speak freely.

[Damaris]

Me, I never.

[Julian]

Oh, you were doing this. That's why I said you kept doing this.

[Damaris]

You thought. I thought I was talking about you. Right.

[Mal]

Okay.

[Rory]

Well, that only leaves me Mall and Peach.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Rory]

No, no, of course.

[Damaris]

I don't think there's a narcissist in the room. Some people might have narcissistic tendencies. Yes. Thank you, Peach. Narcissistic tendencies. But I don't think there's an actual narcissist in the room.

[Rory]

I feel like all people probably have a few narcissists.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Across the board.

[Julian]

I feel like that's human nature, though.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Julian]

You kind of have to.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Julian]

To survive a little bit of it.

[Damaris]

Yeah. But I don't think there's an actual.

[Mal]

But I think once you start pushing that onto other people is when it gets crazy.

[Julian]

Crazy kind of sounds like it kind of echoes gaslighting in terms of, like, making other people feel lesser than. Or weak.

[Damaris]

And gaslighting is more about making other people feel crazy or making them judge their own mind state or what they know to be true.

[Rory]

But I feel like that's what a narcissist would.

[Damaris]

A narcissist would gaslight. Yes.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Be great at it. How. When I was reading that headline, I was very curious how someone could even, like, get diagnosed with it.

[Damaris]

So if you. If you have five or more of the traits that you guys read, five.

[Julian]

Or more baby mothers probably a good indicator.

[Mal]

That's probably. Yeah, that's probably on the list too. Like, how many baby mothers you have.

[Damaris]

Five or more of the traits you're diagnosed.

[Julian]

Thorough psychological evaluation, looking for consistent patterns or behaviors, including the things that Mal mentioned earlier.

[Rory]

I would love to, like, just take certain mental disorder tests. Just, like, for fun.

[Julian]

We should do one.

[Rory]

I mean, I'm a little scared what the results would be, but I would love to go through that, like, with a real therapist. Yeah, I think it'd be interesting. Like Even when Chris Rock went on his press run to announce that he was mentally ill, I forgot the condition that he has. I was like, how do you even get diagnosed with it?

[Mal]

Like, what.

[Rory]

What is that process? Like?

[Julian]

Yeah, didn't Jerry Seinfeld have. Say he has something. That's why he can't smile or be nice to people.

[Mal]

Money.

[Rory]

What?

[Julian]

Did not. Sorry. I mean, I have this. It's like, you're just an. Like, it's fine, though. You've been in that. Your character, your career is about you being an.

[Rory]

I mean, but not just even comedians, but I think a lot of creatives in general probably have a lot of mental disorders.

[Julian]

Yeah, he said he has. He said. He said I have autism. And he said that's why I am the way I am. He's like, sorry, guys, I'm this way because I have autism.

[Mal]

But he said, however, he later clarified to Access Hollywood that he is not on the spectrum.

[Julian]

Well, that's not how that works.

[Rory]

That's narcissism right there.

[Mal]

Yeah, that's the narcissist.

[Rory]

I'm autistic, but I'm not on the spectrum.

[Julian]

I got it, but I don't, though.

[Mal]

Yeah, I got it. If I want it.

[Julian]

Like when it's necessary.

[Rory]

When I wake up and I decide if I want to have.

[Mal]

Yeah, today's autistic day or not.

[Damaris]

I think a lot of us have issues, like you said, but to get them. A lot of people don't get diagnosed with these things. It's very expensive. Shout out to UnitedHealthcare. It's very expensive to get diagnosed for these things. Things.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Like, I went to. I wanted to do an ADHD test, and the prices on those things are like. It's like, you know what? I'm good. I don't need to get diagnosed. I'm fine. I'll just act accordingly.

[Mal]

Well, I mean, that's simple. ADHD is simple. You went to go get the test and you forgot to go take it. Means you got it. See how that works?

[Julian]

Save your money.

[Damaris]

I was supposed to call for a follow up.

[Rory]

That was a great dad joke.

[Mal]

Forgot to do it. Forgot to take the test. It's all good. We all got adhd. I don't give a fuck. With nobody. We. Every human has adhd.

[Rory]

Every human crazy girl wants to leave me, but she always forgets.

[Mal]

There you go. We all got it.

[Damaris]

Who said that?

[Rory]

Hope.

[Damaris]

Oh.

[Rory]

In more local news, Daniel Penny trial. Penny, right, yeah. Daniel Penny trial. For those that do not remember Daniel Penny. He was the victim or the see.

[Julian]

All right, Daniel Penny is the. The former Marine. He was 24 at the time. He's 26 now. Well, last. Well, it was last year. It was May 2023. He got involved with someone on the train.

[Rory]

That's involved.

[Julian]

A black man on the train intervened with someone that was kind of, you know, acting erratic, and he was a homeless man, and he put him in a choke, and the choke lasted for nearly six minutes. The victim's name was Jordan Ely. He was choked out on the train. The train doors open, people left the car. The gentleman still stayed on him in a chokehold. Once he finally got off and everyone arrived, whatever the man, the gentleman passed away. So it's one of those quarrels of. Was this guy being a hero, stopping, like, a potential danger, a vigilante, or did. Like, who's this? Like, is he a white knight or is he a.

[Mal]

Well, Jordan. Jordan Neely. The. You know, condolences to his family. He was the victim. Yeah, I. If I recall, he was threatening people on the train. Was it something like that? Like he was making threats?

[Rory]

Yeah, that was the case in this.

[Julian]

In this timeline. They talked about him standing up and, like, whipping his jacket, and it started with asking for food, and then kind of becoming more abrasive towards other passengers, which is, like, not uncommon.

[Mal]

I mean, the. The subways. We grew up on the subways. There's obviously people suffering from mental health issues that we ride the subway with.

[Rory]

That's where they all, like, congregate.

[Mal]

Right. So, I mean, we've all been yelled.

[Julian]

At on the train.

[Mal]

We've all been yelled at. I've been threatened on the train plenty of times as a kid, as an adult. So this just sounds like, to me, a situation where somebody was on the train, a gentleman came on the train, started making threats, being aggressive towards passengers. What's the guy's name? Daniel Penny. Yeah, Daniel Penny.

[Julian]

Former Marine.

[Mal]

Former Marine who probably felt like he has the tools and skill sets to protect himself.

[Rory]

He has a special set of skills, for sure.

[Mal]

He has a special set of skills. He can protect himself and other people on the train.

[Rory]

I only like to make peach left.

[Mal]

And.

[Julian]

And he got it funny on multiple levels because we just talked about how he was just hunting black people. Like, that's a double entendre. Good job.

[Rory]

There was layers to it.

[Julian]

Yeah, there was layers to that.

[Mal]

So this just sounds like he got up, took matters into his own hands because he felt like, I've been waiting for this moment to show what I learned, and had a guy In a chokehold a little too long and end up killing him. He's probably gonna do some jail time. I think they will find him guilty.

[Rory]

And probably rightfully so.

[Mal]

Oh, no, rightfully so, but how much. Find him guilty of what, though? Exactly?

[Julian]

So the charges are second degr. Manslaughter and criminally negligent homicide.

[Mal]

I think he. The criminal. The criminally. The lesser charge.

[Julian]

Up to 15 years.

[Mal]

Yeah, I think he won't do 15.

[Rory]

Years for that, but 100% guilty of that second charge.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Rory]

And I think that's kind of case closed. Unless in the next two weeks, Candace Owens can find out that that gentleman had a fentanyl in his system, and then it's. It's okay to kill him.

[Julian]

It's funny you say that. So the. The. The gentleman, Neely, who had passed away, was diagnosed with schizophrenia, and he had weed in his system at the time.

[Mal]

Oh, and he deserved it, I guess.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Rory]

I mean, then he smoked weed.

[Mal]

He deserved.

[Rory]

Case closed.

[Mal]

Yeah. Come on, man. Let that. Let Daniel Penny walk free.

[Julian]

The weed closed his lungs.

[Mal]

No, but in all seriousness, Daniel Penny will be. I think he will be found guilty of the lesser charge and probably do maybe five years in prison or something.

[Rory]

Not in any way that this is tied into the United Healthcare thing, but I guess it sort of is as far as like. Like citizens taking things into their own hands. I do think New Yorkers should protect each other on the train, but I. This was a little too excessive.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Like, we've all. We've all been.

[Mal]

I think he.

[Rory]

I don't think any situations on the train, and I'm not even mad at someone holding down someone that may be threatening someone.

[Mal]

Yeah, but you.

[Rory]

Right. You knew what time it was.

[Mal]

A chokehold is different. You got somebody.

[Rory]

And you're a Marine. Like, you're not.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Stupid. As far as what, you know, what you're doing with your hands.

[Mal]

Yeah, but I've seen. I've seen that on the subways plenty of times. Somebody. A passenger, you know, gets up and gets into it with somebody on a train that's, you know, harassing or being aggressive with other passengers, and they get into a fight and, you know, they hold the person down until the cops come because it's usually cops at every train station.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Mal]

Right. So they hold the person down, but not in a chokehold.

[Julian]

Yeah. Whatever happened. And just like, pinning someone's arms behind their back or just like, you know, laying that, like. You know what I mean? Just restricting them without cutting off.

[Mal]

I think it's Hard to make that decision if you're in it. Like, I'm pretty sure Daniel Penny was a little. He probably acted out of fear as well and didn't want to allow the gentleman to move and probably didn't know if he had a weapon. Didn't want to get stabbed, didn't want to get cut. But if you have somebody in the chokehold and you can clearly see when they're not moving, they're not even awake anymore, you know, at that point, you know when they're. Yeah. Like, it's like, all right. Like, he's not getting up. Like, you don't have to continue to sit there and keep them in that chokehold. He's not fighting. He's not trying to get up. He's not trying to be aggressive. He's not even moving anymore because he's unconscious. He's passed out. So I just think it was a little excessive, But I've seen it firsthand. I've seen people just out of fear react on the subway and hold somebody down and not want to get off of them because they're like, I don't know if he has. If I let him get up, he might have a blade on him. Something cut me. Like, I'm not letting him get up. But not in a chokeholder. Choke hold is. Is totally different.

[Rory]

That's why you can't let ferry people on the trains.

[Mal]

Ferry?

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Not that fairy mall. You're talking about Staten Island.

[Rory]

Oh, look at where your brain went.

[Mal]

No, you said. I'm like. But don't they get off at a certain stop and, like, transfer to the ferry? Like.

[Rory]

Yeah, to the one train.

[Mal]

Okay.

[Julian]

Yeah, like, that last stop on the One is just. I'm not.

[Rory]

Too many Italian accents for me.

[Julian]

I'm not against the intervention.

[Rory]

Hate the last stop on the one.

[Julian]

Like Ma said, I'm not against the intervention. I think it's just, like, to do anything for nearly six minutes is like. Like, that's just. Anything to that extent is excessive to me. Like, six minutes in this position around someone's neck, it's like, come on, bro. Like, I'm not saying he sought out to kill him, but you know what you're doing. You know, results could become of this if you do something for nearly six minutes around someone's throat.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Rory]

I don't want to make it sound like I'm defending Penny here, but did he actually serve in combat? Did he go to war? Do we know that information? I. I still think PTSD is a real thing for our.

[Mal]

Oh, it's definitely a real thing, our.

[Rory]

People that serve over overseas, but, and sometimes it doesn't excuse anything there. But then it also becomes a mental health on his side too. Yeah, PTSD doesn't give you the right to kill anyone.

[Mal]

Right.

[Rory]

I'm just saying maybe that's a factor of the excessive holds holding someone down for that long. I, I, I do have a lot of sympathy.

[Mal]

I'm sure his soldiers, his legal team doesn't try to use that angle. At some point they're going to try to use that angle of him being a Marine. He probably was active, you know, was in combat, and they're probably going to try to use that. But I think he will be found guilty of the lesser charge, though.

[Rory]

I mean, I feel like they would have brought that up already if he did serve and because if they're going with the weed, he was high theory, that's why he died. That didn't work for Candace Owens either. Like, it's not going to work whatsoever.

[Julian]

Yeah, he served four years in the Marines and his last post was in North Carolina.

[Rory]

Okay.

[Julian]

So I don't know if that, you know, I'm not the, a lot of.

[Rory]

Respect to everyone that, that does serve. And I do, I am empathetic for PTSD from. That doesn't mean you can kill someone. But he's gonna do some jail time.

[Mal]

Oh, yeah. And he should definitely do jail time for sure.

[Rory]

If he, if he would have had a.

[Mal]

He's not gonna do 15 years.

[Rory]

It would have been fine. If somebody was selling cigarettes and he did the same thing.

[Julian]

Yeah. If someone jumped the turnstile, then it just shot him ten times. That's cool.

[Damaris]

Separate from this conversation about these specific people, do you guys think that you're capable of being the vigilante? Like, if one was needed on the train, do you think you're capable if.

[Mal]

Somebody was bleeding on a train?

[Damaris]

If somebody was, if it was needed, if it was, you know, like, if there was. I'm not saying this is what this man was doing, but if a man was like brandishing a weapon and like being dangerous on the train.

[Rory]

Wait, which weapon?

[Julian]

This case. There was no weapon, by the way.

[Damaris]

Yeah, that's why I keep saying separate from them, separate from that. If somebody was in danger on the train, do you guys think you would be capable of being those people?

[Rory]

Again, what is the weapon? Yes, I think I could be the vigilante on the train, but what weapon does that person have?

[Mal]

Have and do I have. And do I have my cape? Because if I left My cave at home. I can't. Everybody's. I can't save nobody.

[Rory]

What's funny is, like, I would be the big tough guy if someone's, like, harassing a woman or whatever, not seeing that they had the machete under the, you know, the coat. The moment the machete came out, I'd be like, listen, man, she probably deserved it.

[Mal]

Yeah, that.

[Damaris]

I'm being serious, guys. Do you really think that you're that one? You really think you're that guy?

[Rory]

I have been on a plane. What do you call that story?

[Damaris]

What the did you do on a plane?

[Rory]

I stopped. I stopped the guy from assaulting a sky waitress.

[Mal]

Sky waitress? Sky wages is crazy. I've never heard a sky either.

[Julian]

What was he doing to her?

[Rory]

He was clearly, like, high as. And I want a big league, everyone. It was in first class.

[Julian]

I was gonna say. They do that in first class.

[Rory]

We were all in our layout beds, and he was standing on top of it, high out of his fucking mind.

[Julian]

And Orlando Brown.

[Rory]

Yeah. And he kept having the sky stewardess come near us, and he eventually went and grabbed her, and then I grabbed him, and another guy did too, like, that. He wasn't a threat.

[Damaris]

Like, where were you going?

[Rory]

Coming from LA to New York. And they. They arrested him when we landed.

[Damaris]

You never told us that.

[Rory]

I told that story on the podcast.

[Julian]

What'd you do to him? Did you put him in the thing for five hours?

[Mal]

He choked him the entire flight.

[Rory]

I had him bed, like, cuddled.

[Mal]

He was cuddled with him. Rory was the big spoon. Rory was big spoon.

[Rory]

I like being a little spoon. Yo, that Nelson, the whole flight just arms like this.

[Mal]

A flight is, though. I feel like a flight is different.

[Julian]

Yeah. You know, he doesn't have a.

[Rory]

It wasn't like a crazy, crazy thing, but he did put his hands on the flight attendant after hit it. It had been, like, hours of, like, them coming to him. Like, you need to relax. He was clearly high out of his fucking mind. And it was a red eye, so I know he probably came from the club and went right to his flight. And, yeah, he put his hands on the flight attendant, and me and the other guy just grabbed him off.

[Damaris]

What drug was it giving? Like, was it giving meth? Was it given.

[Rory]

Like, it was giving mental health that he mixed with alcohol. Oh, that's what I was getting out of it. Like, he's having an episode. And he also probably mixed it with liquor. That's what I.

[Mal]

He probably had a Bloody Mary. No, they love making those on a flight.

[Rory]

Having a Bloody Mary on a flight is the sickest thing I've ever heard. That's gross.

[Mal]

That's what the white people love that on the floor.

[Damaris]

I've never seen anyone first thing in the morning too.

[Mal]

Yeah. I'm like, yo, I don't understand now that we talking about flights and airports, how the are bars and restaurants like serving alcohol in the airport at 6am?

[Damaris]

Well, no, in New York they don't open until 8am I hate that.

[Julian]

You.

[Mal]

Hate that you can't have a drink at 8am in the morning.

[Rory]

The rules of airports where anything can go like.

[Mal]

No. That's why you had to choke somebody out and cuddle for five hours. They wasn't selling no alcohol early in the morning. You wouldn't have to deal with that.

[Rory]

After that happened, the pilot came up. Up who was flying the plane. There's two and there's also like autopilot.

[Julian]

Autopilot.

[Rory]

And there's also two of them.

[Mal]

Let me news flash. The pilots, we sleep. Like if you go flying to LA once they have like they're not awake.

[Julian]

They really only take off and land.

[Mal]

Yeah, that's it. Like they go autopilot. They listen to their headset, they get a report weather divert. Yeah.

[Damaris]

They not New Royal Mall while you trying to get people to LA safely.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Mal]

They don't listen. They don't be up.

[Rory]

I do like the weird nerd aviation YouTube rabbit hole. I did not know that. These flight attendants have like full blown beds anytime I'm trying to get some peanuts. This has been asleep the whole time. There's a whole quarters like through a vent.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Rory]

That they all sleep in. You getting paid to sleep.

[Mal]

Yeah. If nobody, if anybody else is on asleep, what the they do.

[Rory]

I'm awake.

[Mal]

Yeah. But then you ring. They ring the bell and they don't come.

[Rory]

Nah.

[Mal]

You both see he tripping you in.

[Damaris]

First class, they come, you ring that.

[Mal]

Bell, bro, they gonna be there before they gonna be there so fast.

[Julian]

You always seen.

[Mal]

Yeah. Nah, train is different though. Cause like you said tsa, you gotta go through security. I know this dude doesn't have a weapon on the plane. We could just get to fucking him up on the train.

[Rory]

Nah, no vetting process.

[Mal]

You gotta be careful. I mean if it gets to that point where you feel like all right, we're in danger and it's one of those stops where it's going express and these doors ain't opening for like four minutes. We might have to do what we have to do. But I gotta find somebody.

[Damaris]

You Gotta find.

[Mal]

You gotta find somebody. I gotta find one of the homies from Brooklyn or something. Like, man, we not going out like this. Like, we not gonna let him just have his way with us in his train car. Right now.

[Rory]

You have to have your eye to Eye United 93 moment. Yeah, let's roll.

[Mal]

Like, we both have to start hearing eye to tiger at the same time. Like.

[Rory]

Like, exactly.

[Mal]

Like, give each other the nod. Like.

[Rory]

And at that point, like, your train legs really need to kick in so you can really kind of anticipate where the train is going to move. At that point, I'm just gonna tap.

[Mal]

I just need n. I just need. If. If he's in front of you, I just need you to creep up behind him and get on the floor and I'm gonna push him. He fall over. You like, you. Your home.

[Rory]

Somebody used to get.

[Mal]

Get on their knees behind him and you push him and he fall over. We got him right over.

[Julian]

What if he has. Okay.

[Rory]

Doing that on the train, especially with a stranger. No, you remember that in elementary school.

[Mal]

You would have seen what we used to do. Like, all right, come on.

[Damaris]

The wrong. You up now. You pushed him.

[Julian]

Not a machete or a knife. But what if it's a box cutter?

[Damaris]

That's a knife.

[Julian]

No, but it's like a smaller. I'm saying that I would feel safe.

[Rory]

Not a box cutter than a regular knife.

[Mal]

N. Hell, no. I'm taking my. I'm taking my chances with a box.

[Julian]

Surface area there is to cut you with a real knife.

[Rory]

Surface word, man.

[Julian]

They said we have bombs on this plane, man.

[Rory]

The police said they took down the towers with a box cutter. They also found their passports.

[Mal]

Yeah, Full, Fully intact.

[Julian]

Yeah, it just smattered.

[Mal]

He was like, oh, there it is. Rubble. Oh, this rubble. There it is.

[Julian]

Just depleted three buildings.

[Rory]

I still haven't found family members.

[Mal]

Found passports, though.

[Rory]

A box girl doesn't scare y'all.

[Julian]

It.

[Rory]

It.

[Julian]

It. I'm not.

[Mal]

It depends if it's a. If it's a. From the Bronx with it. It. If it's some Puerto Rican you're gonna.

[Rory]

Ask us burrow in the middle of.

[Mal]

Yeah. Where you from?

[Julian]

A box cutter is worse. A switchblade. A knife that's worse.

[Mal]

See, if you pull out a box cutter, I'll take my chances. If you pull out like a shank.

[Julian]

Yeah. Nah, you got it, bro.

[Mal]

I could make love to you. He can do whatever you want.

[Rory]

Small take.

[Mal]

All right, my bad. I'm sorry.

[Damaris]

Saying somebody could rob your booty hole with a shank is crazy.

[Mal]

It happens in San Quentin every day. Like right now. It's happening in San Quentin.

[Rory]

I can promise you something's consensual. There just happens to be a shank there.

[Mal]

They are taking asses in ways that cannot be explained. They are taking asses are being taken in ways that we cannot explain. Yeah. Go to San Quentin.

[Rory]

Orlando Brown thing you can't take back. Back with your received.

[Mal]

That was crazy. That was wild. It was wild as well.

[Rory]

I'm scared of a box cutter. I take a shank in that situation over box cutter.

[Damaris]

What about a gun?

[Julian]

Get off the train.

[Mal]

A gun. Here. Whatever you what, Just send. Send it. Send the hat around and I'll put all my belongings in the hat.

[Damaris]

Am I. Am I crazier for being more afraid of the knife than the guy with the knife than the guy with the gun?

[Mal]

Yes.

[Damaris]

Okay. I mean, I asked if I'm crazy. Okay.

[Mal]

Yeah. Cuz you got to stab me like a few times for me to die with this knife. A gun. You could shoot me. And I'm probably. My chances of dying from one single gunshot wound is way higher than a one stab wound.

[Rory]

But I feel like hand to hand combat.

[Damaris]

I feel like. Because that's what I'm thinking. I'm like, it's the train. We're so close. I feel like you can do more damage to me with a knife once we're here than with the gun.

[Mal]

The gun. He ain't even got to get up on you. He could stand all the way over there and shoot you right in your chest.

[Damaris]

But that's what I'm saying. He not going to see me coming on the train.

[Mal]

Damaris.

[Julian]

Where you think you're.

[Mal]

Where you at? Or what train are you on? Oriental Express. What train are you on? The A. I see you right there.

[Julian]

Bright ass train.

[Damaris]

The.

[Rory]

You mean he ain't going to express is the seventh Great joke.

[Mal]

Don't do that. But don't do that.

[Julian]

Don't do that.

[Mal]

Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that.

[Damaris]

Don't do that.

[Julian]

That's or the grand stop.

[Mal]

And now a word from our sponsors. Put it right.

[Julian]

Like.

[Rory]

It'S like it's an ad for Rush Hour four.

[Damaris]

All right.

[Mal]

A massage ball.

[Rory]

Imagine us doing a massage.

[Damaris]

I feel like that would be a good fit for us. No. I would turn that one down in my ear.

[Mal]

Give me a. Give me a year free massages. I'll do it every day.

[Rory]

I still want to check off Rub and tug off my like list Same.

[Mal]

Why?

[Rory]

I don't know why.

[Mal]

It's not what you think it. That is the most awkward.

[Damaris]

Most.

[Rory]

No, that's why I've never done it because I feel like I've I'm too awkward situation.

[Mal]

There's nothing that is the most awkward ever.

[Rory]

Like. Like locking eyes with an old Oriental woman to jerk me off.

[Julian]

No, you gotta be sleep. You gotta have your leg to do that.

[Mal]

No, you don't have to do this to add. Just go home and do that yourself.

[Julian]

No, but like soft head. She's not gonna have Rory's third degree hand. She's gonna.

[Rory]

Man.

[Julian]

Baby. Soft hands. Well, that's a weird thing to say out loud.

[Damaris]

Yeah, that was. See, see, bro, we're.

[Mal]

Stop speaking to your weird. There you go.

[Rory]

Gentlemen, off camera, that we will not reveal identities. Have you guys ever had a rub and tug?

[Mal]

No. No. That is weird.

[Rory]

Yeah, I just. I don't think I have an. I don't judge anyone that's done it. I want to see they do it.

[Julian]

We can go together after this.

[Rory]

Yeah, we can go together. Going to get Rub and Tugs is a crazy crew.

[Julian]

You want to get the. The Groupon. The group because it's. You save money. It's like carpooling.

[Mal]

You save money.

[Rory]

Groupon for a rubber tuck.

[Julian]

It's like carpooling.

[Mal]

There's a rubber tug right on the corner.

[Rory]

Oh, you don't say.

[Julian]

No, it's not. Don't say that. I love that place. They don't rub.

[Mal]

He kept going.

[Julian]

Five times. They do not.

[Rory]

I'm not quite happy. How do we end this?

[Mal]

You didn't tug me. You only rubbed me. You got a tug now.

[Julian]

Now.

[Rory]

I was listening to a podcast with Eric Andre and herubmaps.com. he brought up what?

[Julian]

All right, let's pull it up.

[Rory]

Peach knows.

[Julian]

All right.

[Mal]

Rub Maps, y'all disgusting.

[Julian]

This site can't be reached. All right, let me just Google search it.

[Rory]

Our WI fi doesn't block this. Or maybe I have it wrong. Is it not Rub Maps?

[Julian]

Oh, this has to be ID. You have to say you're over 18.

[Rory]

I mean, they definitely check for ideas, brother.

[Julian]

Wow.

[Damaris]

Oh, wow.

[Julian]

Wow.

[Mal]

I told you was right up the block.

[Julian]

There's a bunch.

[Mal]

No, wait.

[Rory]

It knows our location.

[Julian]

Wait, let me put in the zip code.

[Mal]

Juling will put near me.

[Julian]

Rubbing tugs near me is Watch the place. I love be on here.

[Rory]

I'm sure it is. They just didn't see you as a suitable client.

[Mal]

He don't want one.

[Julian]

Oh, look at this. Right around the corner.

[Damaris]

Oh, I know that one.

[Rory]

I told you guys the neighborhood we're in. What did you think?

[Julian]

These are so cheap. Holy. $50.

[Damaris]

60 for an hour. Do they do women?

[Rory]

Yeah, they flip $50 to get a hour massage, and they jerk you off after bargain.

[Julian]

$45.

[Rory]

That's not a bargain page.

[Julian]

That doesn't include the he said.

[Damaris]

Yeah, the tug is probably additional. 100.

[Julian]

Okay, that's crazy. 100.

[Damaris]

It's still cheaper than the date with me, so.

[Julian]

Yeah. How do they do that for women?

[Mal]

They just flick the bean a little bit. That's depending on how big the bean is. If it's a kidney bean. If it's a lima bean, they charge.

[Damaris]

Actually, Great northern bean.

[Mal]

Great northern bean.

[Rory]

The way they charge for, like, an oversized.

[Mal]

Same in.

[Julian]

In the.

[Mal]

That.

[Rory]

That oversized click will get extra $10.

[Mal]

Lady pull panties now. They'd be like, that's a navy bean.

[Julian]

In. In the third.

[Rory]

We don't do the transgender thing over here.

[Damaris]

Why do y'all show up every time we got company?

[Mal]

What. What we talking about?

[Julian]

Rubbing tugs in the third column, it specifies which woman you would have the choice of most of. Korean, Asian, Chinese, Etc. The last one here on the first page. Asian, Caucasian. Ebony.

[Rory]

Oh, that second one right there. Wait, there's one with black women?

[Julian]

Yeah. Ebony.

[Rory]

Oh, I'm paying.

[Mal]

How do you think that we're gonna.

[Damaris]

Go in there and throw the card on the tape?

[Mal]

That's not. That's not crazy. You think black women is just for sale? So I'm paying.

[Damaris]

You don't get the respect I didn't defend.

[Rory]

Yeah, no, I bought a ticket, though, so I'm part of the. They have.

[Mal]

They have. My bad. I'm sorry.

[Rory]

Can you imagine being, like, the cop that has to go undercover to find out what spots are the rub and tugs?

[Damaris]

Yeah, it's. He gonna be undercover for, like, a year before he finally bust one for sure. Pause. Double entendre.

[Rory]

Sorry. Sorry, Sergeant. I. I haven't found any ones that are violating the code.

[Julian]

Comes in zipping up his pants.

[Mal]

I'll be back to investigate next week.

[Rory]

Speaking of transitioning, I want to start by saying I am an ally. I'm the last letter. Letter. I love everybody.

[Mal]

What is the last letter?

[Rory]

Z. Q. Oh, no, there's. Isn't that question that keeps going. See, you guys are such novices with the LGBTQ community. There's way more letters.

[Damaris]

What are they?

[Mal]

What did they adopt over the last month?

[Rory]

It's a secret society.

[Julian]

All we ask is it looks like the element chart.

[Rory]

Now, how would you feel if you got this email here with no context? This is from my. My daughter's daycare center. The subject is your child is transitioning. Transitioning. Good afternoon. We're thrilled to announce that your child will be transitioning. And then it gets cut off.

[Julian]

Well, that's. She got.

[Rory]

Then I open. I opened that email and said Fox News was right. Oh, my God, I was so scared.

[Mal]

That's why we got them demon rats out of here.

[Rory]

Then. Then I opened the email and said, full context. We are thrilled to announce your child will be transitioning to the Red Lions in the new year on January 3, 2020 25. Talking about how amazing she is with her development and everything, but not that. Again, I'm an ally. Not that I care about anything in that world. Why would you choose to put the subject from your daycare, your child is transitioning.

[Damaris]

Clickbait. So that you would click on it like you did.

[Rory]

I.

[Mal]

You don't need.

[Rory]

I click every daycare email.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Rory]

I don't need clickbait to see what my daughter's daycare is saying.

[Mal]

Yeah, that's just a wild choice of words. Words especially. And they know the climate. They know what time it is. See, it's those little. They. Those little.

[Julian]

Those little transition Easter eggs.

[Mal]

Easter eggs. She's putting a little Easter egg. Your child is trying to know the. My child is.

[Rory]

I'm. I'm so scared of not even the cancel, but just being wrong and being on the wrong side of history. I was like, well, damn, I guess it isn't my choice. They get to decide.

[Mal]

Yeah. So Trump was trying to tell you. Told you to vote for him. Doesn't matter. He's in any way.

[Rory]

He's in anyways. Do we have voicemails?

[Julian]

Yeah, I was gonna say. Can we please go?

[Mal]

You've got mail.

[Rory]

Did I take it too far? I'm sorry.

[Julian]

No, we don't. Voicemails. Yes. Yeah. Speaking of relationship types, this is a fun one.

[Caller]

Hey, what's going on? Roy Mall and the rest of the cast and crew, I enjoy your show very much. You know, my name and location is not important. Just a quick scenario and question for the group. So I got a really good friend of mine. He's. He's going to turn 40 next year and to celebrate, he wants to go to Brazil. Important information before I go any further, this good friend of mine, he. He's in a. What you call it, ethically non monogamous relationship. The difference between that and an Open relationship. I couldn't tell you. So anyway, my only minor setback or complaint form is, like, he moved. Like, everyone else is in an open relationship or something. So I'm happily married 12 years now.

[Rory]

And so why are you going to Brazil?

[Caller]

I already know. I can't get that off. I'm gonna have to celebrate his 40th somewhere in the States. I can't go to Brazil.

[Rory]

That's a good man right there.

[Caller]

I went to Brazil as a single guy, but, you know, for all my friends who have gone, all I know is sightseeing by day and smashing off escorts by night. That's all I know about. So my question for the cast and all that is, you know, if you're in a relationship, you know, that's not open. Hypothetically speaking, you know, are you able. Would you be able to get that off, you think? And for Damaris, would you let your man go on a man's trip to, like, Brazil or somewhere like that? If you're in a committed relationship?

[Julian]

It's a good question.

[Rory]

Maybe he just wants to go hiking or see the sights.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Julian]

I don't get, like, why is he making this seem like you can only go to Brazil to get pussy?

[Damaris]

Because that's very obviously what his friend is do.

[Julian]

You don't have to do what your friend's doing. You can just go there and be like, I'll go to the soccer game with you, go get drunk and then go to bed. I don't have to.

[Damaris]

In Airbnb, like, you can't. You can't be the. That closed his door. When the. Is running around the Airbnb naked, you.

[Julian]

Can literally just not the women you can.

[Damaris]

But are you going to.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Happily married when there's a bunch of tens running around that only cost 20. Yes.

[Damaris]

Oh.

[Julian]

That'S a question for, like, his, like, free. Like, his ability to.

[Rory]

You know, the escorts in Brazil, like, they're all legitimate.

[Damaris]

They're all your type.

[Julian]

No, they're prettier. I'm not him. I would go there, too. Let's put that out there. I'm not him. I'm not committed. I'm not in 12 years. Happily married. All that. I'm saying, like, you can go to a foreign country and just not the women. That's very doable.

[Damaris]

Not everybody has your.

[Mal]

You can't control. You can. But if it's a guy's trip, your homeboy's birthday.

[Rory]

It's his birthday, bro. You got to cheat on your wife.

[Mal]

Like, come on. Like what?

[Julian]

Like, he's a. What is he like, in his 40s? Like, is that really.

[Rory]

That's the age that they go to Brazil.

[Julian]

No, but I'm saying, like, you can't just be like, yeah, this is a great time. I love Brazil. I do not have to everybody, of.

[Rory]

Course, we have all been in situations where our friends are doing some.

[Julian]

I mean, I.

[Rory]

But that's a fight in a married household. Women are not stupid. Like, they are well aware that. That a guy's trip to Brazil is to escores. Like, they're. They're not fans of Catholicism. To go see the sights of that woman that's up here like this. They're there to horse.

[Julian]

It's not.

[Damaris]

But there are men who would like Christ the redeemer.

[Rory]

Oh, is that Jesus that's up there?

[Mal]

Who did you think that was? You thought it was Carlos? Who. Who did you think it was?

[Rory]

Did you land on Carlos? What a name drop.

[Mal]

Who did you think that was?

[Julian]

Christ the redeemer?

[Rory]

Some woman of the there like Mary.

[Mal]

No, man.

[Rory]

Is it a veil? Isn't there some hail? It better be white Jesus.

[Mal]

Oh, it's definitely white Jesus.

[Rory]

It's blue eyes on that station.

[Damaris]

In Brazil, you know, they ain't let no black Jesus be up there.

[Mal]

Why not?

[Damaris]

They don't like the black people in Brazil. Brazil experiences a lot of racism.

[Mal]

Yeah, but I mean.

[Rory]

Well, yeah, he was about to say something like. Yeah, never mind.

[Damaris]

Like.

[Mal]

No, but it's a very black country.

[Damaris]

One of the biggest black populations in the world herself.

[Rory]

I mean, so is Dr. And Haiti.

[Julian]

But, you know, we love self hate. All right, but back to this gentleman.

[Mal]

So is the Bronx.

[Rory]

I. E. PR and hate.

[Mal]

Yeah, exactly.

[Rory]

I think he's making a good call. Celebrate with your man's in the States. That trip is for one thing and one thing only. And you'll probably kill the vibe because he sounds like a guy that has no interest in cheating on his wife. Don't even put yourself in the situation.

[Mal]

Until you see one of them do.

[Damaris]

He asked with y'all.

[Rory]

Oh, I'm agreeing with him. Of saying celebrate in the States with your friend. I think that's the call.

[Damaris]

You wouldn't. You wouldn't go. You wouldn't go to Brazil.

[Rory]

Well, listen, I love geography like I would go for other reasons.

[Julian]

Geography.

[Damaris]

Now, they got a studio down there for sure.

[Julian]

You can lock in.

[Damaris]

Lock in with one producer.

[Rory]

Locking with one producer is hilarious.

[Julian]

Go, go, go over there.

[Rory]

Down there.

[Julian]

Yeah, there you go.

[Rory]

Here's where I would actually probably be allowed to go. Down there. I don't use condoms. I'm not paying to with a condom on.

[Julian]

That's where Rory draws the line.

[Damaris]

Hold on. No, no, no, no, no.

[Rory]

You have to wear a condom when you pay for sex. I'm not doing that.

[Damaris]

You think that is whack that when you present this idea to our beloved Kia, you think you're gonna say, hey, I'm going to Brazil?

[Rory]

I'm not.

[Mal]

Stop.

[Rory]

I'm not even saying that.

[Mal]

Okay, you're not even. That's not even.

[Rory]

I wouldn't even get to that part of the question.

[Damaris]

Not cheating on me because he don't wear condoms. And you can't a. A prostitute without a condom.

[Julian]

So I know he my man, my man, my man.

[Rory]

Get you a husband like this.

[Julian]

Yeah, no, I know he not cheating cuz he don't wear no condom. It's like the.

[Rory]

That was racist as is what it was. You love Schultz.

[Mal]

Also, it's people that would. Would a prostitute out of condom.

[Damaris]

Oh, oh, yes, definitely.

[Julian]

Well, that's what he's saying. He. If he were to, he wouldn't be wearing a condom. A condom.

[Rory]

Wait, nobody's a prostitute without a condom.

[Damaris]

Mad people. Prostitutes without condoms.

[Rory]

That's not true. This is one of my naive things again.

[Mal]

Yes, yes. I'm telling.

[Rory]

There's no way somebody's a prostitute.

[Mal]

Rory, I'm telling you. Yes, they are. It's just more money for a fact. That's not even a debate. I know this for a fact. There are men that. Prostitutes without condoms.

[Rory]

I'm not even saying like an escort. That may be like high level.

[Damaris]

A street walk walker in Colombia. Yeah, I know somebody who. Somebody in Colombia.

[Rory]

Did they come back with their dick?

[Mal]

They pay extra.

[Julian]

You just pay more. Yeah, yeah.

[Mal]

If it's $40, you'd be like, no condoms. Like, all right, 85.

[Rory]

All right. That. That extra $40 doesn't. Doesn't take away from the disease.

[Mal]

Don't care about diseases.

[Julian]

Look at you talking down on women. Those are some of the cleanest women.

[Rory]

Yeah, I do. I do believe that sex workers are probably some of the cleanest women.

[Mal]

I don't know why you profess that. Not. Not a third world country. No, in Vegas, maybe. In Vegas. Maybe Vegas.

[Rory]

For sure.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

You guys got to go on 304. Tick tock. 304.

[Rory]

That was like rub maps. I thought that.

[Damaris]

So 304 is basically 304 is hoe in numerology. Whatever. Right. So 300 is the.

[Mal]

The what's hoe in Scientology.

[Damaris]

I don't know Tom Cruise. Okay. They are on there giving the regular women hygiene tips. Like the hoes are on there like, like telling like this is how we stay. Like we could 10 in one day and we never catch BV. I put this is how. This is how we do it. And they're like giving out tips. Like it's like a hashtag 304tik tok. They're on there talking about them pegging guys. They're on there saying how much money they made that day. Like it's like a whole thing enamored.

[Mal]

Just like direct to consumer with these.

[Damaris]

They sold out Pedialyte in one of the states that they consumer because they said that if you drink clear Pedialyte it makes your extra wet. So they're drinking. The girls are drinking full bottles of clear Pedialyte before they go to.

[Rory]

I mean I respect the craft and the re. Research and development.

[Mal]

I think that speaks to exactly how dumb some. Some women are.

[Julian]

Reminds me of this, this specialized one over here. Lily Phillips is a porn star only fans girl. She did that thing where she like a few hundred guys in 24 hours.

[Rory]

Yes.

[Julian]

She's going for a record. She's trying to a thousand guys guys in 24 hours. So she has like an application that you can fill out and like you know, submit or whatever. But yeah, it's obviously everyone's wrapped up.

[Rory]

But I'm trying to find a calculator.

[Damaris]

That's. I was gonna say that's like physically impossible.

[Mal]

No, I mean they're not. They're not.

[Rory]

It just means like just I think.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Okay. How many minutes are in 24 hours?

[Rory]

So this is 41 guys an hour.

[Julian]

The one that sent her like viral into like this, this fear was she 101 guys guys in a day being the.

[Rory]

The one is funny to me.

[Julian]

He late.

[Damaris]

He late.

[Rory]

He's the little spoon for sure.

[Damaris]

Yo. Yeah, sorry. That was a. Just a regurgitated thought. But yeah. 304 tick tock.

[Mal]

All right, so what information do it advice do we have for this gentleman?

[Rory]

Don't go.

[Mal]

Don't go.

[Julian]

I think the reason why he said he called in and saying he shouldn't go is because he knows I think he's being honest with himself. He's saying if I were to go I would these women of course he.

[Rory]

Would would which I think is a.

[Julian]

Which I guess that's honorable.

[Rory]

Self aware. Like I'm not going to put myself in a situation where I would cheat.

[Damaris]

So he asked me if I would let my man Go? Depends on the man. But probably, yes, I would let him go.

[Rory]

You would go with him?

[Julian]

Can you scissor with a condom on? How does that work?

[Rory]

It's like a dental dam.

[Julian]

You just mash plastic.

[Damaris]

You good?

[Julian]

No, I'm genuinely curious. Like, how do women. Prostitutes.

[Rory]

I. I know you're mad at him.

[Mal]

I would know now.

[Rory]

Now that he poses the question.

[Julian]

I'm.

[Rory]

I'm curious as well. How do lesbians. I'm talking like. Like, how does young ma go to. To Brazil?

[Julian]

Do you bring your own strap?

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Paying. Well, you. Somebody is crazy.

[Damaris]

You're supposed to use a different strap with every woman. Anyway, that's what I'm saying.

[Rory]

Like, you gotta boil it. We. Come on, we've been through this.

[Julian]

You go into the room to. They have the boiler on, crock pot, croc sizzling.

[Rory]

That's their version of boiled water. She walks out like, oh, I know.

[Mal]

What time you're got oxtail in there. It's two dildos. It's like, like, yo, what we doing? Like, you got two dildos.

[Rory]

No, I'm just. I'm just making pasta. I'm not one of those girls.

[Julian]

You ever get, like, too horny, though? Like, if. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait. I'm not.

[Mal]

There's a lot of gentlemen. There's a lot of gentlemen in prison right now because they got too horny. Oh, no.

[Julian]

Let me ask the question.

[Rory]

No, I think we should leave it at that. Yo, you ever get too horny?

[Mal]

I know some guys. Yeah, they. I know where they at right now, too.

[Julian]

Makes sense.

[Damaris]

Please.

[Julian]

If you're a woman and you're boiling dildos and your girl's, like, waiting for you to finish, like, the boiling process so you can get to it, do you ever just, like, put it on too quick and start before you let it cool? And then it could be like.

[Rory]

I don't know why you're looking at me right now, Damaris.

[Mal]

Well, you. You grab skillets out of the oven so you wouldn't know.

[Rory]

I'm saying definitely. That was a steak, not a dick.

[Julian]

Like, you're in the heat of the moment. You don't want to wait. Like, what. What's less sexy than, like, taking the. Boil the dildo out of the boiler and putting it in a cool bowl of water with ice and then waiting for 10 minutes?

[Damaris]

Well, you. I don't. You don. You have to wait for 10 minutes.

[Julian]

I'm just saying something. When you just want to throw it on your waist and just get to.

[Rory]

Pound Something tells me that dykes like prep. Yeah, I think. I think the dildo is cool and ready to go. Yeah. Something tells me that dykes are prepared. I don't think they're just doing things on a whim. They seem very calculated.

[Damaris]

Do you know how long women take to prepare to go on dates with y'all and have sex?

[Julian]

But I. But I'm saying, like, if it's just like a one night out to, like lesbians me, and it's like, I'm. I never. I know it's about to smash this. I gotta go home and boil my.

[Damaris]

Boil it after they're done using it. Most people clean their sex toys when they're done using.

[Julian]

Oh. Like immediately. Okay.

[Damaris]

Yes.

[Rory]

Really?

[Damaris]

To keep bacteria from growing on them.

[Rory]

Post nut clarity is just shame for me.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Rory]

You have time to, like, clean after with that mindset.

[Julian]

Having to clean after nothing is crazy.

[Rory]

I mean, there's tissue.

[Mal]

I just think that thinking that the dildo that you inserted inside yourself and you, like, I gotta boil it to get this bacteria, like, what's in you, like what?

[Damaris]

Well, back to. Your body has bacteria no matter what. Yeah, but it's your bacteria and bad bacteria. But when you take it out and put it into the oxygen and air, more bacteria grows. Bacteria multiply.

[Mal]

Osmosis. I've seen that before movie.

[Rory]

You wash your hands.

[Julian]

Moses Jones.

[Mal]

It's a great movie.

[Rory]

A Lister.

[Damaris]

That's one of my favorite movies.

[Julian]

Will Smith. I thought it was Chris Rock.

[Damaris]

That's Chris Rock.

[Julian]

Same thing.

[Mal]

That's why he's shouting out Will Smith.

[Julian]

Well, no, Will Smith was Shark Tail. That's right.

[Rory]

Do we have another voice, though?

[Julian]

Yeah, yeah, here we go.

[Damaris]

But yes, I would let my man go.

[Julian]

That's nice.

[Caller]

Hey, Rory and Mal. Julian.

[Julian]

A good one.

[Caller]

I'm calling from London, but I'm originally from the bay and this is my situation. So a while ago, my dad was really ill and he had to have heart surgery. And so before the surgery, my parents shared their will and trust with me and had me review it in case things went left. And so we're out of surgery now, and my dad's okay. But when I was reading their will, it explicitly says that their estate is not going to be divided evenly between me and my sister. She's 25, I'm almost 30. She is getting like a quarter million more than me. And that's very hurtful. To be clear, I'm not upset at my sister. Like, we have a really good relationship, but I'm really hurt. Like by my parents. And their argument is that I don't need the money and she does. And look, I work in finance and she's a teacher, so whatever. But the thing is, like, I have a good job now, but I could get a stroke. I could not be able to work anymore. Like, anything could happen and they just don't care. And at the core of it, I feel like I'm being punished for being successful and making good choices with my life. I got into a top school on the east coast, so I have no.

[Rory]

Beef with your sister. Huh.

[Caller]

Like, this is their way of punishing me for leaving them. So what do you guys think? Like, am I overreacting? Are my parents in the wrong? I know most of you have siblings and worry is a father, so I'm curious what your perspective is.

[Mal]

That's tough.

[Rory]

I would raise hell.

[Julian]

There's a guy on the run right now from UnitedHealth that you could stop.

[Mal]

He's open for work.

[Julian]

Take out the whole family.

[Rory]

But the will is set in stone.

[Julian]

Yeah, no, you can also just kill the system.

[Rory]

Yeah, no, she gotta be yeah's brother.

[Damaris]

I understand where she's coming from. I understand where she's coming from. But I feel like family dynamics plays a part in that. And I don't know your family dynamics. I've had conversations with my father in a joking way, but not joking way that, like, because I deal with him the most, I should get a bigger cut of his will. Like, he has children that don't even speak to him. Why am I splitting our money? Splitting this money evenly. And they don't speak to you. And I deal with you every single day. And I say that in a joking way. And he's like, you all guys are all my children. But like, yeah, I put more work in. In this. I put more hours poison.

[Rory]

All right, so what's that metric? What's that. What's that stream number as far as attention to your father? That should get a return off.

[Julian]

What's the stream?

[Damaris]

I'm just saying. Because if you get sick, I'm gonna be.

[Rory]

What's the daughter worth?

[Julian]

What's the daughter worth?

[Mal]

What's a hug worth? How many times you hug your dad? How many. How many hours did you hug your dad, though? I honestly think about it.

[Damaris]

I'm just saying, like, as a kid, you.

[Rory]

What was your daughter recap this year?

[Mal]

Yeah, like what?

[Damaris]

I am definitely the most streamed daughter. Daughter. I got yelled at the most. I had to deal with his tantrums the most. Like, I am the most Streamed daughter in the wrap up. So I feel like I should get more than everybody else. And he told me I was being a brat. But, I mean, I.

[Rory]

Who gets Harlem in the will?

[Damaris]

Don't do that.

[Rory]

What?

[Damaris]

Don't do that.

[Rory]

Anyway, anyway, Jamaris's family founded Harlem.

[Damaris]

I understand why they gave her more money. I understand why they gave her more money. But I do agree with you when you said you could get sick and no longer younger. But if this was me and my sister, my younger sister, we would. If my parents gave her more money, she would share with me and like, she. We would do it ourselves.

[Rory]

Honestly, that kind of my point to this. I'd be so livid that if my sister needs money, I'll give her money. This should be split evenly. If she gets in a jam, I can take from. First of all, the amount of entitlement is get a quarter million more than me. Like, Jesus Christ, what is in this settlement. But if my sister gets in a jam, I'll give her some money. But let's split it evenly.

[Mal]

Like, I don't understand why you gotta know your siblings, man. Yeah, some of your siblings ain't responsible.

[Damaris]

That, and I was thinking some of.

[Mal]

Them sounds responsible, though. Yeah, Some of them got addictions. You know, I get my brother extra quarter mil. I know where he going.

[Julian]

Well, her t, her sister.

[Rory]

Oh, I'd be Hunter Biden.

[Mal]

He going to Brazil.

[Julian]

No fault. Like, her sister's a teacher, so she's just saying it's not. Her sister's a bomb. She's just saying, comparatively, she works in finance, she makes significantly more money than her sister. Her sister's not a loser.

[Damaris]

No, we're not saying that. What we're saying is she might be bad with money, and I'm not. Again, ma'am, I'm not putting this on you, but she might be bad with money, and her parents might have went to her sister and said, hey, we're gonna give you more money, but if your sister needs it, give it to your sister. It could be that, like, they could have had a whole different conversation with her sister. She might not be good with money. You might be in finance, but you might, you know, have a coke problem. We don't know.

[Mal]

Yeah, I think it depends on if you have a trusted sibling.

[Julian]

If you have trusted siblings, give it to them.

[Rory]

Look, and a coke addict.

[Damaris]

Love to you, man.

[Mal]

No, I'm saying if you have siblings and y'all know each other, you know, you have a relationship, y'all could figure that shit out on the Back end. Like, listen, I know I gotta get.

[Rory]

It figured out on the back end because the parents are the ones that are deciding.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Where.

[Mal]

No, but I mean, once. Once the money is divided, it's like, yo, they gave me a quarter million more. Here's 125.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Mal]

Huh.

[Rory]

They don't get that.

[Mal]

Oh, yeah. I mean, it's going to all get taxed anyway.

[Rory]

Julian, you have like 15 siblings, unless you move to.

[Julian]

I don't.

[Rory]

That are. That are all in the Democratic Party. How do you think your parents. Some would be split up.

[Julian]

I already know. Excuse me, but I don't feel like I should repeat that on here.

[Rory]

Is it even at least.

[Julian]

Yes.

[Rory]

Okay. No, I'm not asking for the actual amount.

[Damaris]

How.

[Julian]

Not the amount.

[Damaris]

How would you feel if they gave your brother more money because he had kids and you. You don't. How would you feel?

[Julian]

I just like to Rory's. For Rory said, like, my parents are very. Everything's even like, so that I just can't even, like, I can't even wrap my mind around if they were to do some like that. It just doesn't seem like something that my parents would. Would do. And like, I don't know. I don't want to like, air this out, but like, my. I saw what a will and trust did to my mom's side of the family and how that, like, tore apart her sibling. Like, it really got nothing I would want to say on air, but it got really messy and affected a lot of the relationships down to like, the cousin level, like me with my cousins and etc. So it's like, I don't, like, I want to do everything we can. Mind you, we are not playing with nearly as much money as they were. But, like, let's just avoid that. I want to avoid everything that can come with what this girl. This is like step one into, like, hating your sibling. This could really fracture and ruin that family.

[Rory]

You can't hate your sibling for a decision. Decision your parents.

[Julian]

I've seen it happen.

[Damaris]

You can. Especially if you uphold that. So if the parents die and you go and take that money that they gave you, you can hate your sibling. Like, okay, mom and dad did that. But you know that that's fucked up. Like, you should give me. And they're like, no, mom and dad gave this to me. And that can cause strife.

[Julian]

This happens a lot too. So, I mean, I don't know. This is what I feel for her. But like, yeah, I would just be like, look, you're like, you said You're. You're smart. You went to a great college. You're fortunate enough to be financially stable. Table. You did what you were supposed to do. You put in the work. You're living a good life. Enjoy the. The fruits of your labor, I guess. Take what your parents give you once you know that. That time comes. But I just wouldn't hold it over my sister's head. I wouldn't try to vilify her because of a decision you're like. I would just try to make it less about my sister. Don't call her a bum. Like, don't like, besmirch, like you took some jabs at your sister in this. Don't make it about her. She didn't do anything wrong. Wrong. She didn't make this decision.

[Mal]

It has to be a reason why. It has to be a reason why her parents felt like. Because sometimes parents would be like, she might need more money because she's not as responsible as you are. You already have a good job. You're already saving money. She's a teacher. She doesn't make, you know, they don't make as much money, unfortunately. But it might be. It's not, it's not necessarily a negative thing, like your parents don't love you as much or don't care about you. Probably they feel like she needs more help and assistance.

[Damaris]

But that's what they said.

[Mal]

Than you do.

[Damaris]

That's what they said. But also, don't let it, don't let it make you distant from your parents either. I know we're saying, like, don't let it make you distant from your sister, but your parents are still alive and that is a blessing.

[Rory]

Also awkward, though.

[Damaris]

Yeah, very.

[Mal]

You get a glimpse of that thinking.

[Rory]

Dad was out of here happened and then.

[Mal]

And now he's healthy and you looking at him at the game like chilling.

[Rory]

Like, hey, I read that will.

[Damaris]

Sir.

[Mal]

Yeah. You want to change some things?

[Julian]

Yeah, I. I would ask like, I would love for a call back, talk to your parents. I. Your holidays are coming up. You're all going to be home.

[Rory]

I would.

[Julian]

I would.

[Mal]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Julian]

Leave your sister out of the conversation.

[Mal]

No, no, no. Don't bring that up over the. That's going to. The whole holiday up.

[Julian]

But like, if she obviously wants to talk, I don't think it's smart for her to just sit and fester in this.

[Damaris]

Well, she asked them and they told her why to keep bringing it up. You're never going to get an. She's not going to get an answer that she's had happy with until she.

[Mal]

Hears, all right, you can get. Yeah, 125,000 more.

[Damaris]

Exactly.

[Julian]

They said, what's your Venmo?

[Mal]

Right?

[Rory]

I mean, I. I love hearing the stress from you guys. I'm an only child and my mom has assured me that there's no money.

[Damaris]

But she has life insurance, right?

[Rory]

She does. So where's that guy that. Never mind.

[Damaris]

I was gonna. You know what's so crazy? You know what's so crazy, Rory? I was gonna say push it on the stairs.

[Rory]

UnitedHealth murderer when you need them.

[Julian]

Claim denied.

[Rory]

Yes, my mom has life insurance.

[Damaris]

Yes.

[Rory]

But yeah, I. I don't know how much. I would. I've never really even thought about that. Yeah, that's never even crossed my mind that there would be money.

[Julian]

My parents did a trip left. They took like a vacation for the first time ever. They went to Portugal together. And my mom told me she called me. And my mom is so like serious with everything. She's like, Julian, cuz they don't fly, they don't travel. So this is all like new to them. She was like, we put the will, the testament, the d. She's like, tell me. She's like in the drawer with the lock and key underneath the.

[Mal]

Just to get on the flight.

[Julian]

Just literally. I'm like, ma, you're going on vacation for a week.

[Rory]

Like, I do respect that though, cuz if both parents are leaving and like something were to happen. Yeah, I think that it's nice of.

[Julian]

Them to be responsible. But I'm like in the mindset of like, oh my God, this is so exciting. I'm so happy for you guys. She's like, when we die, there's a will.

[Damaris]

And I'm like, all right, but that's being a parent.

[Mal]

Yeah, I don't want to have that.

[Damaris]

Conversation every single time one of my parents piss me off. I start. Start adding up them numbers between the both of them. I be. I could take y'all both out. One car crash.

[Julian]

Yeah, I've never had that thought ever.

[Damaris]

They be pissing me off. I would just ask me to pay.

[Rory]

For a hot water heater and so I know there's no money, but unless. But now, now I didn't think about that, that life insurance angle. Cuz she definitely has life insurance.

[Julian]

Yeah, that's what Aaron Hernandez did.

[Damaris]

They'll say that though. They'll say I'm worth damn so up.

[Julian]

She could go out a hero.

[Damaris]

They'll say I'm worth. My parents always say I'm worth more dead to you than I am allowed.

[Rory]

Okay. But also my mother has diabetes. So I don't think her life. Life insurance is just crazy.

[Damaris]

Pre existing conditions premium is just probably.

[Mal]

They always get you with those pre existing conditions, man.

[Rory]

Oh, thank God that I got Merc today. What does she have?

[Damaris]

United. Help. Let me stop. You know what?

[Rory]

Yeah, I think she has. Yeah, she has. United. They have denied her insulin. The amount of money my mother has paid for insulin as a type 1 diabetic is insane.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

So, yeah, kill them all. And Mom, I'm not going to kill you, but Damaris did. Just remind me that you have health insurance.

[Damaris]

Just saying. Something to think about.

[Rory]

Maybe I won't bring the orange juice on the next low blood sugar.

[Mal]

Be slow getting into her.

[Damaris]

You listen to this. In 10 years, when he's starting to get on your nerves, call me. I got all that information.

[Rory]

Out with my life insurance. I got my life insurance when I was as healthy as a human being could be. My life insurance is fire right now. Amar is going to be. She's going to murder me at least in 15, 20 years.

[Damaris]

Didn't you say that you put us on. On your life insurance? You said that, right?

[Julian]

No, that wasn't. Something about the pod.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

It's not life insurance. You have to have insurance for broadcasting. If we say something crazy and we get sued.

[Damaris]

No, I thought I was on your life insurance. Did you lie to me?

[Rory]

You're. When have I ever told my life insurance. What?

[Julian]

Did you lie?

[Rory]

That's not even possible.

[Mal]

I don't. Yeah. I'm about to say I don't even know what she said.

[Rory]

That's not even like a. A thing that could exist on my life. There's insurance on this pod.

[Damaris]

Claim me as a dependent.

[Rory]

Sometimes that is cool when you need a Uber home. Yeah.

[Damaris]

Yeah. I told you.

[Rory]

See? No, there's insurance on this podcast. But that's if we get sued, we have insurance to cover it, so. But don't sue us.

[Julian]

No, no. Cbs. You brought up Blue Cross Blue Shield. I knew they did some. They. They stopped paying complete duration of anesthesia for patients after surgical procedures. So whoever their CEO is, good luck.

[Mal]

Yeah, he's next.

[Julian]

You're up next. I think it's a woman.

[Rory]

Peach. Can you make equal opportunist?

[Julian]

By the way, can you make Maul.

[Rory]

John Q for the artwork for this episode?

[Damaris]

Can you beat a little boy?

[Mal]

I just feel like that's racist a little bit.

[Rory]

That'd be hilarious. Yeah, well, because you make a John Q Joke.

[Damaris]

So why you can't be John Q.

[Rory]

Because that would be blackface no.

[Damaris]

1. Because we made you Snoop without changing your skin color. You were White Snoop in the Baby Boy cover.

[Mal]

I guess White Snoop. He looked like Jamal from a house party. House party, too. What?

[Rory]

Would it be easier for Peach to make that cover me or Maul? Peach got the joke.

[Mal]

This is.

[Damaris]

This was such a good movie. John Q is a classic. He should have won an Oscar for this, not Training Day, by the way, Training Day is overrated. Oh, my God. Don't shoot me. I watched it over the break. I watched it over the break. I watched it over the break.

[Rory]

Second to process, because.

[Damaris]

So this is why, right? I never was a big Training Day fan, and I couldn't figure it out. I couldn't figure out why, because I'm a huge Denzel fan. And I showed it to my little sister for the first time. She had never watched it, and she was watching it, and she was just like, what is the plot in this? And I was like, you have a really good point. What is the plot of Training Day? No, seriously, the plot, not what the. The purpose of the movie. I know the purpose of the movie.

[Mal]

He was trying to get money to pay back the mob that he owed.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah. But, like, you don't figure that out. You don't figure that out. The wrong person in Vegas, 10 minutes.

[Mal]

That sounds like a great movie. You don't know what the. Is about to happen until the end. No.

[Rory]

He goes to the restaurant to meet the. The meeting of the men or whatever it is, all the big cops to say, hey, I'm. I have this debt. I'm gonna pay it. Like, that's, like, in the beginning of the movie. Damn right.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I missed that part. I don't. I don't know. It's just. I. I'm not. It's not a bad movie. It's a good.

[Rory]

You killed me for saying Baby Boy doesn't have a plot now. Training Day doesn't have a plot. No, it doesn't.

[Damaris]

No, I think I agree with you. Baby Boy doesn't have a plot. But I just feel like. I don't know. I feel like it was just so heralded, and I just don't feel like it.

[Mal]

Train Day.

[Rory]

It's one of the greatest movies that's ever true.

[Damaris]

No, see, like, I can't rock with that.

[Mal]

Train Day is a great movie.

[Damaris]

I think it's one of the Goodfellas.

[Rory]

Maybe the only thing you can say that's better than Training Day like, in.

[Mal]

The day was really in the jungles. That alone makes it great. Like those. Those was real bloods.

[Rory]

Like, those wasn't actors. No, those was real bloods.

[Mal]

Yeah, like that. That was a great movie. Trinity was a great movie.

[Rory]

But what don't you like about it? I'm. I'm not that.

[Damaris]

I don't. It's not. I didn't say I don't like it. I never just thought it was just this greatest. Everybody paints it to be like, this greatest movie. And, like, he got an Oscar for it. And I'm just like, what's your favorite movie? My favorite movie of all time. It would have to be Titanic or Good fellas, Bad Boys 2. Like, but my favorite movies don't.

[Mal]

Bad Boys. The best movies over Training day.

[Rory]

Bad Boys 2 is a master class in spending money. Saying, what's the plot of that movie?

[Damaris]

Saying my favorite movie doesn't mean that I think it's the greatest movie ever. It's my favorite. Mulan is one of my favorite movies. Like, I don't think it's the greatest.

[Mal]

Yeah, but I'm just. I'm just listening to what you're saying is your favorites of all time and just comparing where Training Day ranks against those movies in particular.

[Damaris]

Well, for a favorite, it depends on what you look for in movies. Like, Super Bad is one of my.

[Julian]

Favorite movies, but I wouldn't pin that against training.

[Damaris]

Exactly. Like, it doesn't.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Okay.

[Mal]

But I think you also wouldn't say Training Day is overrated.

[Julian]

It's good. I. I don't. I haven't seen it recent enough to say that it's. If it's overrated or not. I just remember being a good movie.

[Rory]

It checks every box. Like, I get what you guys are saying. I love Super Bad, too, but I wouldn't put it against God. Good Fellas. It checks every box of writing, storyline, acting, action, plot. Like, everything about it is perfect. It's perfect.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Julian]

Perfect.

[Mal]

That's. Sure.

[Rory]

It's.

[Mal]

I want to see that, Warren.

[Rory]

Macy Gray went crazy.

[Mal]

I want to see that, Warren.

[Damaris]

Why do you sound like that?

[Mal]

That's how she sounded.

[Damaris]

They're gonna kill me for that Training Day take. And it's Training Day.

[Rory]

Training Day is almost too good.

[Damaris]

I just think that Denzel. I don't know. I really just don't like the fact that he got an Oscar for playing a crooked cop. When he's played way better roles. He's acted way better than he has in. And I just. I don't know. I think he could have got an Oscar for something else.

[Rory]

What do you think he's acted better in John First.

[Damaris]

John, the reason why I brought this up is because we were talking about.

[Rory]

John Q. John Q is incredible.

[Damaris]

If you look at the John Q performance compared to the Training Day performance, you're going to tell me that you think that he performed better in Training Day than in John Q.

[Rory]

Absolutely.

[Damaris]

Okay. That's your.

[Mal]

He should have got Oscar, but he got game for sure.

[Julian]

American Gangsters up there for me.

[Damaris]

Yes. I just watched that for the. I had never seen American Gangsters.

[Julian]

Fucking amazing.

[Damaris]

I just watched it for the first time this weekend.

[Julian]

I'd take that over.

[Rory]

Just watched American Ex.

[Damaris]

I wasn't allowed to watch it when I was younger and I just never went back to it. I'm a girl. It's not something that was a must watch for me. So I watched it for the first time and I loved it. It was so good.

[Julian]

Such a good movie.

[Rory]

He got game. Yes. I agree that Denzel should have got an award for it only because one of the greatest actors ever had to play off Ray Allen. Like that's. That's the master class in acting. How did he even make that work? Ray Allen is one of the worst actors that's ever existed.

[Mal]

And Giselle made him look good.

[Rory]

Do you know the scene when he's shaking his sister and say, we ain't got no money? It's the worst actor I've ever seen in my life.

[Mal]

December 14th, we are home for the last show of the year at Gramercy Theater in New York City. A few tickets are available now atnew Rory Mall dot com.

[Rory]

Very few, very few.

[Mal]

So if you haven't gotten them and if you plan on just waiting until the last minute, take your chances. But tickets are running low. But we will be excited to see everybody. December 14th at the Gramercy Theater for our final show of the year. Rory.

[Rory]

Yes, looking forward to it. Well, let's sign off.

[Mal]

All right, well, have a blessed weekend. Be safe, have fun. It's cold as shit. New York. I love it. So I'll be home most of the weekend just chilling and watching.

[Rory]

Just cuz it's cold, right?

[Mal]

Well, I'm always home. That's what. I'm always home. But now I have an excuse to be home. People like you coming like it's cold as outside. I ain't going nowhere. But be, be safe, be blessed, whatever you're doing this weekend. We'll talk to y'all soon. I'm that he's just ginger Peace.

[Damaris]

New warrior now.