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New Thinking Allowed Audio Podcast
Evidence of the Afterlife Can Heal Your Suffering with Lauren Robertson
01:11:09
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Lauren Robertson
I really believe that everybody has a lasting bond with their loved ones in spirit and the spirit world and your loved ones in them are very keen to make their presence in your life still known.
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Emmy Vadnais
Keep watching to learn more.
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Narrator/Announcer
For early access to our videos and livestream events, sign up for our free weekly newsletter@newthinkingallowed.org New Thinking Allowed is presented by the California Institute for Human Science, a fully accredited university offering distant learning graduate degrees that focus on mind, body and spirit. The topics that we cover here. We are particularly excited to announce new degrees emphasizing parapsychology and the paranormal. Visit their website at CIHS.
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Emmy Vadnais
Book 4 in the New Thinking Allowed Dialogue series is Charles T. Tart, 70 years of exploring Consciousness and Parapsychology, now available on Amazon.
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Narrator/Announcer
Thinking Allowed.
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Lauren Robertson
Conversations on the Leading Edge of Knowledge and Discovery with psychologist Jeffrey Mishlove.
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Emmy Vadnais
Hello and welcome. I'm Emmy Vadnais, co host with Jeffrey Mishlove. Today we'll be exploring how evidence of the afterlife can ease your suffering with my guest Lauren Robertson, who is author of Medium in Manolos, A Life Affirming Guide to Modern Mediumship. She writes the Art and Science of Mediumship on Substack. Lauren is a spirit communicator, transformational coach and speaker. As a psychic medium, she helps people explore their spirituality and overcome difficult emotions so they can live freer and happier lives. Lauren studied philosophy and literature specializing in consciousness studies at the University of Glasgow, Scotland. If you enjoy this program, please like subscribe, press the bell icon and share. Lauren is joining us from Glasgow. Now I'll switch over to the Internet video. Welcome Lauren. It is a great pleasure to have you back with me on New Thinking Allowed today.
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Lauren Robertson
Thanks very much for having me.
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Emmy Vadnais
Amy, you have been a psychic medium for 20 years. You you and I had a previous conversation about love and relationships in the afterlife a couple years ago and I'll link to that interview in the upper right corner of the screen. Today we're going to go more deeply into your truly amazing spirit communication abilities and discuss how you get accurate and detailed information. And to get us started, we're going to learn more about that process for you. But for those of you listening, stay tuned because in a little while we're going to share, or Lauren's going to share with us how you may be able to receive evidence and more detailed information without maybe necessarily having to go to a medium to get us started. Lauren, why is it important as a spirit communicator to receive evidential information from.
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Lauren Robertson
The afterlife when a sitter goes to see A medium. And they are looking for that healing. They're looking for that transformation. What they're really looking for is confirmation. They're looking for that sense that what seemed like goodbye forever can actually be transformed into a new phase or stage of their relationship with their loved one. And in order to pass on messages that hinder help, that healing process, you first have to have the burden of proof. So the burden of proof sets with the medium to prove that the person that they claim is given that message to the sitter is in fact who they say they are. And for many sitters, the healing itself actually comes from the quality of the evidence. Because as that evidence comes in, you know, things like their name, the street that they lived on, how they passed, some shared memories that they had with the sitter. As that evidence comes through that couldn't otherwise be known, it brings with it a sense of wonder and a feeling of awe and a sense of being able to transcend the grief or transcend the feelings that they've been struggling with, to be, I guess what you would call sure, or more sure, as sure as you can be that their loved one in spirit is actually there and that's the one in the and who's given the message. And so that is very, very important, both for that confirmation, but also because the shared experience of the relationship and sharing memory, memories and reminiscing about the person that's in the spirit world is also an important part of the healing process. So aspiring to really great quality of evidence and better and better evidence on your mediumship is a really good thing to aspire to.
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Emmy Vadnais
How do you receive detailed and accurate evidence as a psychic medium?
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Lauren Robertson
Most mediums who are listening to this or watching this will know that feeling of really wanting to do a good job, you know, really wanting to show up and shine and really like, give the sitter everything that they want, give the spirit communicator everything that they want. And with that comes a lot of anxiety. You know, we feel really nervous. We feel worried about how we're going to look. We feel, you know, are we going to get it right? Is this reading going to be full of nos? And as soon as we get into all of that sort of thinking, you know, the trying energy, that's where it all sort of starts to go wrong. So the flip side of that is that really good mediumship comes from not trying at all. Now, that is easier said than done, granted, but it really does come from turning up to the reading with a curiosity, you know, a light hearted curiosity of Can I make myself available here to be the mouthpiece for this communication? Can I make myself available to receive and transmit? Mediums have much less power in the moment of a reading to do a good job than they think they do. And it's by releasing that need to do a good job and instead just going with the flow, allowing the message, message to come through, being in that space of light hearted curiosity that a really, really good message can come. Because it's actually spontaneous. It's very spontaneous. And as soon as you try to wrangle it, you know, you try to catch it with a lasso, you try to make it yours, you try to sort of make it into a formula, it doesn't actually work. You've got to show up and just wait for whatever wants to come through. So the, that is, that's number one, I guess of three ways that I would approach or I do approach in my own practice, bringing forward the most powerful messages from spirit. So yeah, it's easier said than done, but try to relax and just allow what wants to come.
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Emmy Vadnais
I would imagine there are people and people listening as well, who do maybe have a practice of meditation. Whether they are professional mediums like yourself who are wanting to strengthen their intuition, for example, and aren't always able to get specifics, for example, like names or dates, addresses, or let's face it, some people are wondering where the money is hiding.
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Lauren Robertson
Yeah, for sure. I've had all kinds of questions over the years.
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Emmy Vadnais
So how are you able to get those specifics, for example, like names and dates and so forth?
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Lauren Robertson
My number one tip for that, and this is going to sound so strange, but any mediums listen to this, please take me seriously. It's going to change your mediumship practice. You have to think of your relationship to the spirit world as a friendship. Now when I say the spirit world, make of this what you like. But what I really mean is your God, like the benevolent force that's pushing you to do your mediumship. You know what it is, you know what it feels like, you know it's your God, you can call it what you like, but that's essentially what it is, your creator. So you need to create a friendship with that higher power, that godlike force in your life, the spirit world, if you will. And the way that you do that and you create that friendship is the way that you would nurture and maintain any other friendship. So if you think about your best friend in the world, somebody that is like your ride or die partner, who would have your back through anything, why Is it that you feel that way about that person? Really think about that? Because you have to spend the same investment and the same time with the spirit world to create the same friendship and the same familiarity. And from that comes the really specific evidence. You know, it's like when you have a really close friendship with somebody, they only have to give you a look. And you know what they mean by that look. They only have to give you a wink or a gesture that someone's walked in the room. They don't even have to say anything. And you know what it means because the communication between you is so rich and it's familiar and it's comfortable. And if you create that same sort of friendship with the spirit world, your evidence will go to the next level. And the way that I recommend you do that is quite simple. It's sitting in the power. And sitting in the power as a style of meditation that is specifically for developing a. A nurturing, positive, quality time spent dynamic with the spirit world. And all you do is you. You bring a light to your solar plexus and you visualize that light filling up your whole body. And then you extend that light out into your aura. And then you extend that light out a little further and you practice what it feels like to sit in that state. Because that state just beyond your aura is where you become a beacon of light that the spirit world can come to, can align with, and can transmit those messages to you. Essentially, what you don't want is to rock up to a reading feeling really disconnected from the spirit world and really unfamiliar and expecting the magic to happen in that moment. You want it to be comfy, like an old pair of pajamas or your favorite sweater. You know, you want the spirit world to feel like it's you and they there together. And there's no question about that. And it happens through the same investment that you would make in a friendship. It is a relational art. So the more you invest in the relationship with the spirit world, the more they will show up for you in the moment of the readings. And that's where the really good evidence comes from, that understanding that you've cultivated.
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Emmy Vadnais
With each other, cultivating great communication. So it's there, that relationship is there for you to call upon when you want it. And it also sounds like trust is likely very important to be able to trust that connection and what you're receiving.
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Lauren Robertson
Oh, absolutely. And you know, that goes back to point one. Stop trying to do a good job and impress anyone. You know, don't get a piece of information. And then Add arms and legs to it, or try to make yourself a detective and figure out where it fits. If what you got in your mind's eye was an orange, just say, oh, I've got an orange here. That's really strange. And let yourself stay with what's really there. That in itself is an art form, learning not to, you know, interject your own narrative or your own opinions or try to make it fit. And again, ironically, the more you show restraint and just give what's there, the more that what you get will be right and correct and it'll also be more plentiful as well. But the more you try to sort of make it up as you go along and make that little kernel of truth fit, the more you're actually not listening to the spirit world and listening to what comes next. So definitely improving your mediumship is very much working on your own spirit, your own self esteem, your own ability to sit and turn up and not have any pressure or expectation of yourself.
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Emmy Vadnais
So to recap, you have suggested, number one, people be more relaxed, get into that state of just openness and receiving. And then two, is sitting in your power. So really expanding and connecting more deeply with that, with the Creator, the, the oneness of which we're all connected. And then there's also a third tip you have as well.
- [13:16]
Lauren Robertson
Yeah. So one piece of research that I found really interesting, I think it was Professor Chris Rowe that did some research on mediums to do with the five personality traits. So it's the big five personality traits which is the most accurate way essentially to. To profile a person's personality. And you can do a quiz online yourself. There's different ver of it. But what he found out is that all mediums share in common a very high trait openness. So trait openness as openness to experience. So it's the idea of like, how open is your mind to novel experiences. How often do you do something new? How often do you soak up wonder and awe from doing something that you've never done before or meeting new people you've never met before? And so there is some research evidence to suggest that if you work on expanding your trait openness, expanding your mind, expanding your ability to take in new things in your life, that that also will expand your trait openness for your mediumship, meaning you're more open to different kinds of communicators, different types of evidence, different ways of receiving the spirit world. And that's sort of an exercise like going to the gym that you can do for your mediumship. Is practice bringing novel experiences into your life. And just my personal opinion is that because mediumship as a relational art form, if you focus specifically on improving and increasing your trait openness when it comes to relationships, that's where I found it does the most good in helping your mediumship. What that means is making new friends, doing different things with your spouse, you know, responding to your children in a different way, reconnecting with someone from your past that keeps popping into your mind, really relishing and cherishing your relationships and finding new ways to approach them. I found that to be the best way to work on your trait openness that also improves your mediumship.
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Emmy Vadnais
All of that is great advice. Can you share a story of how you helped somebody receive evidence of the afterlife from a past loved one and how that helped them?
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Lauren Robertson
Do you know, there's been one reading that's been on my mind a lot recently, and it was really strange how it happened. The reason it was on my mind is because I've been working on a new book about mediumship, and this reading happened since I wrote my last book. So it's a new thing that I can talk about now. It was actually a podcast host that this happened to. I won't say who it is. She might be listening to this, so I won't mention who it is, and hopefully I won't give away any details because I haven't sought her permission to share this story. But it was actually a podcast host. She had me on her podcast to talk about mediumship. She's also a medium as well, and she had not told me that she wanted me to give her a reading after we had had our conversation. So she didn't tell me that, which was fine. So the conversation ended and we got to the point where she wanted me to give her this read. And all of a sudden, this man came forward from the spirit world really, really strongly. But this man said, I'm not for her. I'm not here for her. This reading's not for her. You need to get her to go get her husband. Can you please ask her now to go get her husband and bring her husband here? This message is for him. I didn't even know if she had a husband. I didn't know anything about this person, but I was like, okay, I'm going to go with this. So in the end, she went and got her partner, her husband. And this message came through from this man in the spirit world that had a completely different timber and feeling and register than what I had ever felt from the Spirit world. And what really shocked me about it was its humanness. You know, this man came forward. I could see him in my mind's eye, and he was like, excuse me, ma', am, you need to tell her this. Reason I'm so sorry is not for her. She has to go get her husband. And I had never felt the whole sense of this person's personality come forward and be having this conversation with me. Like, were just an embodied human. Like, they were right here standing next to me, asking for this and giving me these instructions. So she went and got her husband, and he came and, you know, this is somebody who was very culturally different to me. This is somebody who we did not share many cultural points in common whatsoever. This was not a British person. It was not a white person. And so what was able to come through, There were a lot of obstacles in the way to me having just made it up, you know, from my own experience, or me having assumed things about this person and so was able to give them things, you know, from commonalities that we shared and some of the names that came through, some of the locations that came through, how this gentleman spent his time with the husband that he wanted to speak to and why that was important. All of these things were things that were not in my personal life experience. And so the fact that this man came forward with such sort of bumbling warmth, like it was really a human being that had just thrown the door open and was late for this appointment to come and speak to me and was like, excuse me, ma', am, I need you to go get this other person. It just made me feel like the spirit world is capable of working through me in ways that I didn't know were possible. And the spirit world is capable of giving evidence that transcends cultural limitations. Race, familiar words, familiar names. And these were all things that actually really surprised me. And it surprised me as well. The openness that the host and her husband and the man in the spirit world had to communicate with each other and the willingness that they had to let me be a part of their love and their life and their process as a family and as a culture that was different to mine. And, you know, to this day, I do see this person, this woman, putting my name forward for different things as one of the readings that really shocked her for some of the same reasons that it shocked me. You know, it was so uncontrived because I didn't know she was going to ask me for a reading, and I didn't know the reading wasn't going to be for her. And I didn't know that the spirit world could be that clear on, excuse me, but this is for somebody else that's present in the home with her that I didn't know was there. So both of us, as fellow mediums, were really surprised in that instance by what the spirit world could do. So, yeah, that one really stuck with me.
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Emmy Vadnais
Well, I know you can't share too much about that story right now, but can you give us examples of what is evidential information from the afterlife or maybe other stories where you can share examples of what might be detailed and accurate information that really surprised you and assisted the somebody?
- [20:10]
Lauren Robertson
Sure. So, of course, being able to say someone's name is just really special and really amazing. To be able to say the name of somebody that you're communicating with their first name, their surname, is really amazing. Now, if you are in the zone where you're a medium that can get an initial, for example, it's just a matter of courage and applying some of the things we've talked about today to take it to the next step where you can get that name from the spirit world that is there and you can do it. So I do love being able to receive names, but something that has a very special place in my heart are shared or meaningful objects that belonged to the person in spirit, especially where those things have been passed on to the sitter. I remember one that sticks out in my mind is I was working at a spiritualist church. So I was doing a public demonstration in a spiritualist church, and I was speaking about the grandmother of a woman that was sitting in the audience. And I saw so clearly in my mind's eye a mirrored powder compact that was very fancy, it was gold. And one part of it was sort of more like frosted or matte gold, and then the other part of it was shiny and it had a diagonal line through it, and it was a circle. And I could see that when you opened it up, it had a magnified mirror on one side and a normal mirror on the other. And it was in a black pouch, like a black velvet pouch. I saw this whole thing unfolding in my mind where this lady in the spirit world showed it to me. And I described it to the lady. And do you know that she pulled it out of our bag and showed it to everyone in the spiritualist church as. As we were discussing it. And so what was really special about that for me is she was amazed, Quite frankly, I was amazed. And the whole audience could share and the facts of the item okay, so it's a tangible item. It's a real item. It was there. It was present. She had brought it along with her in the hopes, hearing from our gran. And so when she took it out of her bag, the whole audience were able to be moved by the moment as well. And so I really love meaningful objects as a particular sort of evidence that you can talk about, because objects last, and they last in their physical form. And when it's been handed down as a special heirloom from somebody in spirit to the person that's sitting there, it's something very tangible that they've held, that they've sniffed and smelled, that they've worn, that they look at every day, that they touch every. Every day. And it brings a real concreteness and solidarity to the reading where, you know, some of the evidence that we can get can be quite abstract. It can be emotions and feelings and moments that were shared. And we're sort of trusting that when the sitter says, yes, that that's right, that's true, that they're giving us a true account of what happened. Whereas if the. The recipient, the sitter produces an object, then, as I mentioned, the rest of the audience can share in that moment as well, and it can lift everybody. So those are some of my favorite types of evidence are, of course, really specific names and dates. But I really love a meaningful object. You can't be a meaningful object being produced and everybody being able to share in the moment. You know, I always thank the spirit world for that really concrete evidence that helps everybody sort of mind be opened more and heart be healed a lot more as well.
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Emmy Vadnais
You have spent a lot of time developing your natural abilities, I would imagine, because you have a natural interest to have gone into this as a profession, and your confidence has grown because you have allowed yourself to take those leaps of faith and, say, a letter or a number or describe objects and share messages that have increased your ability to trust that in the future as well.
- [24:12]
Lauren Robertson
Yes. Yeah, definitely. Practice is everything when it comes to developing your mediumship. It really is. And everybody has a sweet spot of how often they should be working with the spirit world. And if you find that sweet spot and you keep using the parts of your being that are required for your connection to spirit, it will get better, it will get easier. It's a skill that you can hone and develop and enhance, just like learning to play the piano. It's no different. So time is definitely a huge factor in growing both in confidence and competence in mediumship. Definitely.
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Emmy Vadnais
Most of us don't like to think about the times in our lives where we have struggled or maybe made mistakes or things we wish we could have done better. I'm wondering if you could share an example of maybe where you had a challenging session, knowing that it was a learning opportunity and maybe what you learned from that experience that helped you grow in your mediumship skills and abilities.
- [25:15]
Lauren Robertson
There's been some horrible settings, and I mean horrible settings where you just can't see anything. Right? The vibe is not right, the connection is not there. And sometimes that's really hard to control because if you are a professional medium and you receive payment in exchange for the service, you've got to try to make that service as predictable as possible so that everybody goes away feeling that they have got a similar, you know, received a similar thing to somebody else that's paid the same amount of money for that service. And. But in reality, people are so, so, so different. And each mediumship setting is like mixing a completely unique set of chemicals together. And you just don't know what's going to happen, that sometimes it goes, you know, it just goes very wrong. And one of the things that I've found lately that I really struggle with is when people come for a sitting and what they need is something else. So a lot of people will come to me when they need a lawyer, when they need a psychiatrist, when they need grief counseling, when they need to speak to their realtor about something to do with their home. You know, I tried to say to them this is, you know, I can speak to you about these things, but you know that this is not the conversation you need to be having. And so sometimes when there's a reading where the person has come with expectations for you to solve a problem of theirs, for example, I personally find that very difficult when people are coming with a need that's too great, where anywhere in the reading there's pressure. So let me just say it that way. Where anywhere in the reading there's pressure. So if the pressure is coming from you, the medium, to do a good job, or if the pressure is coming from the sitter because they have a very urgent need or a pressing need, or they're very single minded about what they want out of the setting, those settings are very, very, very difficult. I have had recently some clients where I've had them for a very, very long time. And I've noticed that one or two of my clients have experienced some cognitive decline recently. And so those are readings that are very, very difficult, where my heart is split in two because in one sense, I feel I still want to be there for that person. You know, we do have a working relationship. And then the other hand, I can sense, I know that this person is not getting out of the session what they used to. And so sometimes there's a bit of a conflict that comes up there as well. So, yes, there can be all kinds of reasons everything goes wrong. And, you know, I've had to give. I've had to give refunds. I've had to send people home from events with refunds. I have had to stop a reading in the middle and just say, look, that's just not the right day. I'm not feeling well enough. Or, this is going on. We need to reschedule this. It is never, never easy to do that. But sometimes these things do happen because, as I say, we're all each as unique as our fingerprint. And so people turn up for a reason. And that's part of, you know, trying to be that mouthpiece and trying to not control the situation is. You don't know what energy is rocking up to be in that region with you. So, yeah, I mean, you can only do your best. But there's been some cl. Clangers. There really has been some clangers over the years. Sorry if you've come to me for a reading and it's been one of those. It's never been my intention.
- [28:42]
Emmy Vadnais
Lauren, thank you so much for your honesty with that. And I think it really shows how, just like how you described having a relationship with the creator or any relationship, it's ideal if the energy or the communication is really flowing. And I think you described really well about how pressure can impact receiving detailed and accurate evidence and information. And at the same time, I think you did a really beautiful job describing how there are times when people simply need something different than a medium, and that it's great that you actually suggest that they maybe talk with somebody else. So it doesn't really mean that the mediumship itself is still not a viable art and science unto itself, necessarily.
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Lauren Robertson
Yeah, exactly.
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Emmy Vadnais
On that same note, how much do people's openness impact your ability to provide them an accurate session? Meaning, like, if they're coming in and they're very open and really believe this and trust what you have to share versus somebody who maybe was dragged there by a significant other or a friend or another relative, and they're doubting it and don't really believe what you have to offer.
- [30:05]
Lauren Robertson
My mind has gone loads of different ways about this over the years because I've had some really Amazing readings where people have come in skeptical, or at least they say they are, and whether or not they really are in their heart and soul remains to be seen. But I do tend to find that if people have come with an open heart and they already trust me, then the reading tends to go a bit better. But then there's always exceptions. What I find is more the case is it has to do personality alignment. So if their personality is aligned with the spirit world and is also aligned with me, that tends to be where the reading goes better. There's a feeling of ease that comes between you. It's almost as if there's lots of data points where the three of you understand each other, so the person is better, you as the medium and the sitter. And the more data points there are where you understand each other to weave together, it's almost like the signal is clearer the more of those that are. So when a person comes to me who is too different to me, and quite a lot of the time that does mean that about kind of, you know, closed off or cynical or disbelieving or too pushy about what it is they want in the reading, because, as I mentioned, it's a process of allowing, then the reading can kind of go off the rails a little bit because that pressure has been introduced. So, yeah. That being said, though, I've also had it where a client has come to me for a reading and the magic has been there that day, and the reading has been amazing. There's been names and dates and really incredible evidence, and they've gone away feeling so good and, you know, they really got what they wanted. And then after that, we haven't been able to replicate that same magic. Sometimes that happens as well. It's almost like I've said what I have to say here. It's time for you to go off and, you know, find somebody else to read for you or take some different steps. And we can't quite recover that magic of the first time. That does happen. Sometimes it also happens where somebody recommends me for a reading and it can either go that the person turns up for the reading, and it's been pumped up so hard, so big in the person's mind that they're a bit disappointed. But it can also happen that they come and because their friend has said, I got so much out of my reading, it was really amazing. You should definitely go see her. They come with a really open heart. They come ready to work with me. And so, again, it really just depends. It can go all kinds of different Ways.
- [32:37]
Emmy Vadnais
Yeah.
- [32:38]
Lauren Robertson
Yeah. I definitely feel that a person's openness can affect it. But what actually is more important. And, you know, I say this as somebody who came to mediumship through grief myself. You know, my mediumship journey was definitely because I'm very high in trait openness, very high in loving other people. But it did also come from losses in my own life, especially the death of my grandmother, which, you know, to this day, I know that she's still with me in spirit, but she was truly a beacon of love and light in my life. And her loss was just. It happened when I was 17, and it was such a formative time and such a time when I really wanted to have her for longer. And. Yeah, so my feeling that she was still very much around me and that we hadn't lost that love happened when she died. You know, it took for her to die for me to think, this is weird. I still really feel this love is something real and that our relationship has just changed. One thing not so much to do with openness, but one thing that people can do if they are trying to connect with their own love, loved ones in spirit, or if they are trying to go to a medium and have a good experience is really sort of work through their own grief properly. It's as much to do with have you integrated as it has to do with openness. You know, have you integrated the loss? So, yeah, I don't know if you want to maybe talk about that a bit more about what people can do to get, you know, the most out of a reading or even getting the most out of signs that they receive from their loved ones dilately.
- [34:10]
Emmy Vadnais
Yes, we'd love to hear about that. And also, I'm wondering if you can address the term living agent psi, where people suggest or have suggested that the way that spirit communicators or psychic mediums such as yourself are able to receive this information is because you are actually getting the information psychically from the person who's living versus the person who is. Or really the body who has died versus the being in spirit.
- [34:43]
Lauren Robertson
Yeah, I mean, these ideas are all very sort of very much on a spectrum. And it's really hard to say where an individual person. I mean, if we are even individual people, maybe we are all just connected together and we're part of a kind of collective consciousness. But the idea that, you know, the information that you're getting is coming from the. The sitter, for example, or from, you know, just a psychic bond between me and the satter. All it takes really is to say something that they don't know and for it to later come true for that to be undermined. So if it's not, if the knowledge is literally not in the setter's mind. So this is an epistemological question, you know, what is it that the sitter knows? If something comes through that the sitter's looking at you blankly and saying, no, that doesn't seem right, I don't know about that. And they then go away and find out that Auntie Sarah did in fact have a dog called Bobby when she was 12 and that they didn't know anything about. And here's, you know, here's the picture of it. They're going to be like, oh my goodness me. Because they couldn't possibly have given the medium that information by living agent sai, because they didn't have any to give. And so there's the epistemological aspect to that. But also, you know, even when you receive a sign from your own loved ones and spirit, which I'm sure many of your listeners have had, just like really amazing coincidences, shall we say, let's call them synchronicities from the spirit world, you could say, you know, how do they know that that's really from the spirit world and not just from their own manifest and powers or from some other source? And I really do think it's important that we focus on the sort of first person experiential aspect of what it feels like to receive a message from the spirit world that you feel and your, your bone marrow. That is right and it's true. And it was really them. The same way if you receive a sign from the spirit world and you really feel struck by the truth that it was really them, it's very hard to sort of quantify that scientifically, but it is not hard at all to know within yourself that that came from your loved one that's in spirit. And the way that I liken it is imagine if you're a child and you're going to a train station or an airport to pick up somebody that you really, really love. And when you get to that, you know, that place of transport, that train station or airport, and you're little and you know what this person looks like, and you're eagerly, excitedly looking for their face in a crowd. And when you see their face in a crowd, you get this welling up of joy, of recognition, of familiarity. That's right. It's veridical. It's how you pick them out in a crowd. So it's a really important sense that we have of how we recognize something by the emotional cadence that it has. And I believe a real message from the spirit world, at least in my experience, has that same emotional cadence to it. Like how you feel when you meet somebody you love at an airport and you're waiting for them. You're all excited, you're a little kid, and you see them and you run up to them and you fling your arms around them. There's no sense of like, oh, but how do we know that that's not living Agent Psy. You know, it's not that sort of a thing when that happens in real life. It's a spontaneous, loving, experiential aspect to being human. And I really feel that if you get a sign from the spirit world or you have a reading from a medium and you get that feeling, try not to let your mind ruin it by picking it apart, because the. The logical analytic mind really doesn't have any place. And whether or not you can recognize a loved one's face in the crowd and whether you're excited to see them because of it.
- [38:32]
Emmy Vadnais
Was there more you wanted to share about how mediumship can assist people who are grieving? And then I'd love for us to get into the ways that people who are grieving can communicate with their loved ones in the afterlife.
- [38:45]
Lauren Robertson
The point of mediumship is to take what feels like a very final loss, you know, a very difficult loss, goodbye forever, and open up the possibility that what you've gone through with your loved one actually doesn't have that sort of a nature. It's not actually a goodbye forever. It's not actually finality in the way that we think it is. Yes, they're. They're done with their body. That is true. But what if your body is the briefest and most boring thing about you? Like, what if that's true? That might be true. I think that that actually is true from the tens of thousands of readings that I've done over the years. And so if we can have people approach their grief and their loss from the perspective of, okay, I'm cultivating a new type of relationship with my loved one where they're a new type of being that they haven't been before, at least not in how I've known them. And yes, there's going to be bits that are missing, but what really is missing might be an interface that doesn't actually represent the whole thing. So the person's body has been this interface that you're used to hugging and smelling and doing things with which, granted, is very important, but if it's not the whole being, and that's the interface that you're used to having, and it's a temporal thing, but what is beyond that is actually still a version of the self that you can still love and create new experiences with and, you know, have these signs and have these conversations and, you know, have this healing experience. Then people who've lost loved ones, you know, people who, God forbid, have lost children, for example, siblings, really terrible, terrible losses that are very, very difficult to heal from, if you think it's goodbye forever, have a different possibility to think about how they can have a continuation with this person that meant so much to them, but just in a different form. And I think that that's right. And I think that when we have the thought that, oh, I guess that's over, you know, this is goodbye forever, we're actually slamming the door shut on something that's causing us more pain than it needs to. This is very much not about denying death or denying that somebody has passed, but it's about opening your mind and opening your heart to true transcendence and that we might be more than we think we are. We might be more than our bodies. A life where a person can reach that understanding versus feeling that they've said goodbye forever can be a life that ends up very differently. You know, that isn't defined by grief and defined by loss. It can go on to thrive, and it can go on to grow around the loss, and it can go on to still incorporate the love of the person into their life moving forward. And my belief is that can end up in a life that's better, that has more love in it, that has more joy in it, that has less fear about opening up our heart again in case we lose somebody, and it's just not worth the hassle. So we're going to shut it down. What we do not need in this world is people with our hearts shut down because of loss. And so if mediumship, either practicing it or seeing a great medium or exploring connecting with your loved ones and spirit yourself, can sort of like, shunt your orbit from being somebody that orbits around loss to being someone that orbits around love and the possibility of keeping that relationship going in a different transcendent way, then I think that, as I say, that can be the difference between a more difficult life and a better one.
- [42:34]
Emmy Vadnais
So beautiful, Lauren. From grief to love and having those. A term I learned not too long ago, having those continuing bonds where we can continue that relationship with People, even though they're not in an incarnate form. Many do talk about how what we perceive as the physical world is in some ways. I mean, it's got its own form of reality, but some suggest it's an illusion and there's a deeper aspect to who we all are. And it sounds like you do a really lovely job of helping people connect with that within themselves and to have that relationship with those when they take their last breath on earth.
- [43:20]
Lauren Robertson
Yeah, I mean, I do my best. Like I say, I'm just here to speak. It's really the spirit world that does it, and the sitter, they bring the love. I just. I'm lucky to witness it. Yeah.
- [43:31]
Emmy Vadnais
So what are steps or ways that people who are grieving can communicate with their loved ones?
- [43:38]
Lauren Robertson
Yeah, So I really believe that everybody has a lasting bond with their loved ones in spirit and the spirit world, and your loved ones in them are very keen to make their presence in your life still known. But there's definitely a few things that enable that and a few things that sort of hold that communication back. And while I do think that mediumship and going to see a medium that's, you know, good and a good fit for you at the right time, while I do think that that is a useful thing to do for a lot of people, there's no reason why you can't have a direct experience. And the primacy of experience is undeniable. You know, if you have an experience with the spirit world where you receive a sign or a dream visitation or a communication, it takes out that middleman of the medium. So it takes out any sort of question as to how. How they had that information or where it came from. It just becomes your direct communion with your loved ones in sp. So I do think that if you are going through grief, it's quite important to try to cultivate that openness, that understanding, so that you can have those direct experiences and don't have to question, you know, if it came through a medium or came from somebody else. So the first thing that I want to sort of talk about to make that possible, and I alluded to it earlier in the call, but it really has to do with grieving properly. You know, if you try to connect with your loved one in spirit as a way to hang on to them or as a way to deny the reality of their passing, it tends not to work as well, or at all. You know, it tends to feel like a sort of grabbing, frantic energy, that energy of really struggling to accept the transition. But actually, I'VE found that really good communication from the spirit world that's direct to the person grieving and happens when we've actually accepted their passing, accepted the loss of their body, you know, accepted that we won't be making any more physical memories with them. And we've sort of gone through those stages of, you know, being in denial, being angry, being sad, being hurt, and getting to the stage where we're willing to be. Willing to be willing to let our life start growing around our grief again. And it's when we get to that point that we can start to really feel, oh, they're here, you know, they're here with us. I'm getting the signs or I'm getting these dream visitations. But a person who's a bit stuck, feeling desperate or feeling if only they can hang on to, you know, the spirit side of their loved one and they don't have to face the fact that they've actually died or that they've passed away, that tends to be actually a block to communication, I find.
- [46:28]
Emmy Vadnais
So proper grieving is a step of communicating with a past loved one. Are there any other ways that people can receive messages? I also really like how you suggest dreams because my understanding with, shall we say, parapsychological psychic phenomena, however you want to describe it, that dreams are some of the most common ways that people receive information in addition to the spirit world, but also precognitive information in general, for example.
- [47:00]
Lauren Robertson
Yeah, that's right. And I coined the term dreamiumship because so many of my clients and sitters and people that were reaching out to me were saying that they were having these experiences and their dreams actually wrote a chapter about it. And my book, the Medium in Manolo's, which came out nearly 10 years ago now. And so, yes, there's really interesting research that shows that the brain state of a medium when they are given a really accurate message looks almost identical to the brain state of somebody that's experiencing the dream aspects of sleep. So there definitely seems to be a measurable vibrational similarity and the brain when people are dreaming and when people are doing mediumship. And so if that's the case, it stands to reason, if, you know, the information has been carried on vibrations, waves, if you like, has been encoded on there, that you would be able to have experiences with your loved ones in spirit and your dreams. It's very common and it's very profound. And, you know, again, with my grand passing away when I was 17, one of the first experiences I had was a dream that was so vivid and so profound, it stuck with me to this day. And, yeah, I mean, I wish that for everybody listening who's lost somebody that they could have that experience of feeling like you're meeting in the middle in that dream state, you know, almost like going across a bridge. Your loved ones come a little bit to you and you go a little bit to them. And I do believe that that is a vibrational state that you can access in your dreams, for sure.
- [48:32]
Emmy Vadnais
So pay attention to your dreams also. How important is it for people to ask for what they want from their loved one in the afterlife as far as detailed information that might help them receive a sign?
- [48:47]
Lauren Robertson
For example, when we're talking about getting evidence of your own loved ones who have passed, what we're really talking about is receiving a sign of some kind. And we all know about, you know, white feathers and robins and cardinals and finding coins in strange places and butterflies and the, you know, these common symbols that have sort of taken root culturally that people now look out for. But trust me when I say your loved ones in spirit can do a lot better than that. They can give you signs that are so specific that will blow your socks off, but you have to ask for them and trust that they can do it. And so ask for something really specific that you wouldn't normally see. A purple teddy bear, a blue button, a man holding a watermelon. You know, I don't know, something really wild. And just see what happens. Try to approach it with a spirit of curiosity. You know, ask your loved one in spirit. Right, Gran? Right. Brother? Right. You know, husband, whoever it might be in the spirit world. Here's what I want you to show me. I want you to show me a man wearing a smiley face T shirt carrying a watermelon. Right? That's the sign. I want you to show me that sign. That's what I'm waiting for. I'll wait for it. And really set that intention. Because the spirit world can pull strings of cause and effect that we don't. We frankly don't know anything about just yet. I mean, quantum entanglement and spooky action at a distance is kind of hinting at it, but I think it goes much deeper than that. It's something more than that. And the term synchronicity, I believe, was coined by Carl Jung. Your listeners can correct me on this in the comments if I'm wrong, but I believe it was coined by Carl Jung, who had one of his clients who was doing a psychoanalytic session for one of his clients, and she was busy talking about a rare beetle. I think it was like an Egyptian beetle that just this beetle came into her dream and it was crazy and she could describe it all in detail. And. And just as they were talking, this beetle actually flew in the window, which had no business not being in Egypt. And Carl Jung wrote this whole session about basically synchronicity and how there are causal relationships between things that we don't understand at all. And the spirit world are definitely a big part of that. So they can playfully and with a sense of humor show you a sign that will let you know that they heard you and that they are responding. Make it really clear, make it really specific. And like I said before, try to stay in that state of light hearted curiosity. Try not to be looking for it every day or hanging all your hopes on it. Just ask for the sign and leave it alone and just see what happens. And if you get the sign, just take it into your heart. Let the awe and the wonder and the confirmation wash over you and take it really into your heart that they've transcended death, that they've heard you, and that they're able to speak to you across space and time in that way. Yeah. Yeah.
- [51:57]
Emmy Vadnais
Oh, beautiful. And when those moments happen, it really is full of awe and feels very magical. And people are really, I think, wanting to know that their loved one really does exist and is continuing and that they can have that relationship versus, as you say, having it be a goodbye forever.
- [52:20]
Lauren Robertson
Yeah.
- [52:21]
Emmy Vadnais
Are there any other suggestions you have about how people can communicate with their loved ones? As far as, can people, for example, have conversations with their loved ones if they wish?
- [52:36]
Lauren Robertson
Oh, of course. I recommend it for sure, definitely. And you know, sometimes those conversations might feel one sided, but sometimes they might not. And even if it does feel one sided, that's still okay. And one of the things I really recommend is a visualization practice where you can have conversations with your loved ones in spirit. And you know, similar to a medium sitting in the power in order to receive and transmit that information for you. You can do a version just a normal person listening to this who doesn't identify as being a medium. You can sit and do a visualization and choose to meet your loved one in a garden or at the beach, or even, you know, in the restaurant that you used to go to together. And you can sit there and you can invite them to come and you can have conversations with them, tell them your news, ask for their advice, ask them what it's like in the spirit world and it might feel like it's just your imagination, but it also might feel like it's not just your imagination and that there's something more to it. And quite often when you go into these sorts of conversations, your loved ones and spirit are able to tell you things that haven't happened yet, or they're able to give you advice about something that's upcoming. And when you have that experience, then it actually happens. You've got to start to really think about, this is beyond my imagination. This is, you know, they've had insight or they've had knowledge from whatever their vantage point is that's been able to assist me. And so that suggests sort of an agency and a personality again, that's, that's transcended the, the loss of their body, essentially. So I definitely do recommend that I did create a meditation which is in my book, and you can also download it as free of charge. I'm sure the details will be somewhere to be able to do that. But you can just sit and imagine your favorite place and imagine meeting your loved one there and chat to them about whatever's on your mind and just see if the practice of that takes on a different feeling and a different meaning in your life than what you would expect.
- [54:44]
Emmy Vadnais
That's very generous of you, Lauren. And I know you have a meeting spirit meditation, as you say in your book, but also on your website. And we'll go ahead and put that information below the video in the description so people can find that link as well. Are there any other tips or suggestions you want to share with our viewers and listeners today about how they can communicate with their loved ones?
- [55:07]
Lauren Robertson
I guess really just one more, which is similar to what I said about the mediums, because really there are no mediums and non mediums. There's just all of us in this together and those of us who decide to open up to it and those of us who don't. So what I said about sort of receiving from your loved ones in spirit being an art of allowing, an art of receptivity. That also applies when you're trying to receive a sign or a message from your own loved ones and spirit directly. What you want to try and stay away from is a trying energy, you know, a forcing energy, a controlling energy. You know, that feeling of I'm going to make this happen and then being like, why isn't this happening? And so much of our life demands that energy of us. We're expected to wield reality and manipulate reality and build things and create things and have sort of agency and force on the world in order to survive, like so much of the world is set up that way, if you think about it. But actually when it comes to receiving a sign from your loved one, the key word there, the operative word is receiving. And so any sort of practice in your life that allows you to just relax and be in a state of receptivity that allows you to get out of trying anything that you do where you're so absorbed in it that the hours just fly by like minutes, is something good for practicing your state of receptivity. Anything that you do that makes you feel that you don't have to try at this, this doesn't need to be hard. You're not trying to prove anything. Spending time doing things where you're just receiving, you're just pottering around. There's no rush, there's no time scale, there's no outcome. And getting really good at being and how that feels is going to attune you to the state you need to be in to receive signs or messages from your loved ones in spirit. Because there is nothing you can do but ask and then be able and willing and allowing to receive.
- [57:15]
Emmy Vadnais
Yes, great advice. Quieting the mind or slowing down the rational judging linear, logical thinking and really shifting into more of an open state. And a greater part of yourself is also consistent with just receiving psychic and intuitive information as well. What do you say to those who may be listening and thinking, well, this is really dark forces or this is the trickster playing tricks on me and one needs to be really careful that this might be evil energy and to protect oneself from it.
- [57:53]
Lauren Robertson
Yeah, that's a really good question. I don't know much about that sort of energy. And I'm, you know, I can understand where certain people would be coming from that might think that way or feel that way. And what I find is that that comes from human heart, you know, so when humans have hurt us, when people have disappointed us, when people have let us down, when we felt betrayed, when we worry that a human person might be a trickster or might be deceiving us, which human people can do, then, you know, I understand why people would have that worry about the spirit world. Because there's one other factor which is that it's the unknown. You know, if you can see somebody right in front of you and you can see their physical body and you can choose to stay away from them, then you know, you can avoid being caught in by whatever it is they're trying to do. But it might seem not so obvious how to do that with this nebulous sort of force that we call, say, the spirit world or, you know, invisible forces that are out there. So understand why people would have this concern. But as I always say, your emotions are a really, really good guide. And if you and your heart of hearts feel that. I really miss my gran. And I got this dream about my gran and I built, you know, I felt the love that I always felt from her. And you don't have any other reason to suspect differently other than the thought in your mind? Yeah. But what if this is something for me to be worried about? Then just be aware that that's your own mind and not actually in the event itself that you experienced. And again, these things are very, very tricky and very slippery. If I can share something just really honest with you for a second. I've just had two kids, so my daughter is two and a half and my son is one. And throughout, just after I had both of the children, I went through a really, really difficult period of postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety. And I was struggling with not being able to sleep and, you know, having a lot of responsibility with the two children. And my son didn't. Still doesn't sleep that well, you know, being so little. And I came the closest I had ever come to experience in psychosis to having experiences that were imaginary hallucinations on the darker side of things. And a lot of it came from the maternal instinct and the maternal aspect to protect my children and to make sure that they're safe being combined with all of my resources being used up. So because I was exhausted and because I was breastfeeding my son and because my daughter needed everything from me, and because I was trying to do so much and be so much, much to them and pushing myself and pushing myself, I was completely out of resources. And I totally understood in that moment when I was having those really frightening experiences mentally, how people can get to a point where they would be really worried about the spirit world being able to harm them. Because I became worried whether my mediumship could bring any harm to my children. I genuinely questioned for the first time in my life, as part of that suffering, as to whether my mediumship could bring any spirits, harm, anything to my children. And I really had to, you know, wrestle with that and sit with that and work through that. But I realized through. Through doing that work and through, you know, gaining back the resources and seeking help. So I went for therapy, I went for counseling. I sought the right help. I got my love network and my support network around me. I realized that it was my scared mind that was taken what was good, right? So for me, mediumship, the spirit world, my gran, God, the creator, all the love that is possible between humanity is all kind of part of the one thing. And it was my scared, exhausted, under resourced mind that sort of flipped it on its head and went, yeah, but if that's a thing, then maybe the opposite could be true. And you know you're going to fail to protect your children from this thing that you don't really know anything about. And what it was, was a wake up call for me to go and get the help and the support that I needed. Because my mediumship has only for myself and my clients, as far as I know, been a good thing, been something that has brought love and healing and togetherness and answers and an exhale where people can go on with their life. And to me, it's the result that has God in it. So if the result is net love, then that is by definition God. That's by definition good because it's net love. And so it was when I was able to start rationally having those thoughts again that I realized I was coming out the worst of the postnatal anxiety and depression. So for anybody out there that might be having those questions, for me it really is an invitation, and again, I'm only talking from my own experience of one here, but it really is an invitation to say, where are there sort of holes in my view of people, my view of God, my view of myself that could potentially be healed? Because it's in those gouges that life has taken out of us that we start to feel that darkness kind of grown where we have felt betrayed or unprotected. In my sense, I felt very unprotected as a young child and a teenager growing up. And so it's those kind of gouges where the darkness can start to settle in. But that doesn't mean the darkness is real. It's just an invitation to heal that within yourself and I guess to fill it full of light. And I was really grateful to be able to do that. So if anybody has those sort of worries, I would look to the invitation to introspect first before deciding that there's something out there that's malevolent, that that's, you know, out to get you. I know it can feel that way. I know because I've been through it. And I know in a way it can be true because there are, there is malevolence out there. But whatever you do to keep yourself away from Malevolence as a person, you're doing the same thing energetically to keep yourself away from it in spirit as well, just by being who you are and being a loving being.
- [64:23]
Emmy Vadnais
Lauren, thank you so much for your honesty and sharing that deeply personal experience. Congratulations on your beautiful children and your marriage since we spoke last.
- [64:33]
Lauren Robertson
Thank you.
- [64:34]
Emmy Vadnais
Yeah, it really highlights how people can be struggling and you just don't know about it. And I'm also grateful for you bringing it up because many women do have similar experiences and they often suffer in silence and that there are resources out there for hope and healing.
- [64:52]
Lauren Robertson
Yes. Especially women who are high in openness. So if you're a woman who's a mother who's listening to this right now, and you're high in trait openness, you probably went through psychological hell when you had your children just by who you are. You know, if you're high in compassion and you're high in openness, and suddenly you've got to be a mama bear who's looking after littles, you know, who are literally part of your very fabric of your being, you're going to lose the plot a little bit. I mean that with love and respect, but that is what I've learned. I'm saying it like that because I've been there. I lost the plot significantly. Yeah, we can laugh about it now. Yeah.
- [65:28]
Emmy Vadnais
It also shows how people who often really have it together and are enjoying life, how simply, even something like sleep deprivation can cause those kinds of experiences. And it really does give an opportunity for all of those listening, for all of us, to really take our own wellness check. And I like also what you say about how when we can be questioning these malevolent forces, whether they're real or not, that that's also an opportunity for people to explore their own relationship to themselves, relationships with others, and really where love may be lacking in your our lives, which is really what we're talking about here with this conversation today, is how people can continue to have their love stay, to continue with their loved ones versus it being shut down and their hearts being wounded and hurt.
- [66:29]
Lauren Robertson
Yeah, exactly.
- [66:30]
Emmy Vadnais
Lauren, you've shared so much today. I'm just curious if you have anything else you want to offer about how evidence of the afterlife can ease or heal suffering.
- [66:41]
Lauren Robertson
What I'm about to say might seem quite ironic considering what we've just talked about, but try to let it be in the background of your life. You know, try to let it be something that you don't focus on too much. I know that that's easier Said than done. If you've lost somebody and you're really suffering, and, you know, the love that you had with them has never really left you, and it can be hard, but try to put your, you know, unless you're a professional medium, you know, it's your entire life, that's one thing. But if you're somebody who, you know, you find your heart and your mind is going to the spirit world all the time, so much so that you might be missing what's right in front of you, then the spirit world, I promise you, will not feel sidelined or betrayed or anything by you focusing on the living reality that you are in right now. You know, don't let your. Your attention, light that shines on the spirit world stop you from attending to things in your life that are important, important to you. Your health, your children, your relationships that are here. You know, your ability to find love again. You know, any countries that you want to visit, bills that needs paid, you know, that sort of stuff. The spirit world will not feel betrayed by you moving your attention away from them and allowing the signs and the little nods and the dreams to just be something that really special that happens every week, once in a while that keeps your heart kind of like, oh, they're still here, you know, for me, that's the spirit world's ideal, is that you're not preoccupied with them, but it's in the background. It's a little miracle that happens every now and again as you're focusing on the big miracles that are right in front of you.
- [68:22]
Emmy Vadnais
You're suggesting that people live their lives and not get caught up in those relationships because there's more of life to live and that those bonds can continue and that it's likely you we will meet again.
- [68:42]
Lauren Robertson
Yeah, for sure. Those bonds are unbreakable. And whenever you live love with your children, with fulfilling your own heart, with being good to people that are close to you and letting them be good to you. Your loved ones in spirit share all of that through you. They are with you for every step of that, but it should be in the background.
- [69:01]
Emmy Vadnais
Beautiful. Lauren, I once again thoroughly enjoyed my time with you. All that you have to share. I know you've logged thousands of hours as a psychic medium, a spiritual communicator. Thank you so much for all that you've shared today and thank you for being with me.
- [69:21]
Lauren Robertson
Thank you for having me, Emmy. It's been a pleasure.
- [69:24]
Emmy Vadnais
And for those of you watching or listening, thank you for being with us because you are the reason that we are here.
- [69:53]
Narrator/Announcer
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