← Next Level Pros
Loading summary
Transcript316 lines
- [00:00]
Chris
People are mentally weak.
- [00:01]
Daryl
Oh, yeah.
- [00:02]
Chris
Like, there's just a lot of weakness spread in our society, and maybe it's because of the luxuries we have, but, like, we need mental toughness. Physically, you can do so much more than you think you can.
- [00:12]
Daryl
Right. Nobody knows what I'm capable of. Nobody's seen me in secret, right? That's where I have to, like, win is the secret battles and just be like, okay, what is Chris capable of? What am I up against? Now I know I'm capable of more. And I think that's where all of us have to get to is like, understand, like, what does God know that I'm capable of doing?
- [00:34]
Tyler
Letting go of control is realizing, like, hey, God has a plan.
- [00:38]
Daryl
Right?
- [00:38]
Tyler
And all that you can do is be the best version of yourself, except that whatever you can do and whatever you're blessed to receive is. And accept whatever that path looks like versus trying to, you know, shape that path ourselves. Yo.
- [00:55]
Daryl
So we are coming from the Waterfall house here in hilo. We got Mr. Tyler McCalla, Alistair here. Welcome, welcome, welcome.
- [01:03]
Tyler
Thank you.
- [01:04]
Daryl
Dude. Excited? So we're going to be spending the next three days here at a Mastermind. A lot of you guys have heard us talk about our focus on masterminds and, like, getting together, solving problems, both personal, professional, everything like that. And the cool thing is, like, this spot, I can say, is my favorite spot in the world for. So I want to. I want to hear. Tyler, you just got here. It's the first time seeing it. Tell us. Tell us like, what your initial reaction seeing this place was.
- [01:40]
Tyler
So if I could make up the perfect vacation home in Hawaii with land, waterfall, river, house, like this is it in real life right here?
- [01:52]
Daryl
Yeah.
- [01:53]
Tyler
Yeah, it's pretty amazing.
- [01:54]
Daryl
I'm not even sure I could even imagine it up right.
- [01:56]
Tyler
Oh, yeah, no, it's. It's. It's incredible. When you say a king lived here and you walk on the property, you're like, this is fit for a king. The location itself is insane.
- [02:07]
Daryl
Yeah. And I wish the cameras could do it justice.
- [02:11]
Tyler
Yeah. You got to see it with your own eyes.
- [02:12]
Daryl
Like when I. When I share it on social media or the pictures, I'm just like, that's. That's not it.
- [02:18]
Tyler
Yeah.
- [02:19]
Daryl
I'm like, that looks cool, but, like, it's. It's different.
- [02:23]
Chris
I think there's more to it, too. It's like what you see, but it's also what you feel. This place has got a feeling to it that I. I love. Like, when I walk in here, I'M like, wow, the magic's here. Like you feel it. There was a guy who helps manage the property, brought an elder from the island here and he said when he came up on the property, started weeping.
- [02:45]
Daryl
What? I didn't know the story.
- [02:46]
Chris
Yeah. And he said he just felt like this was a very like sacred area. Sacred space.
- [02:51]
Tyler
Yeah.
- [02:52]
Chris
And so it's cool when you're here. You feel good, feels. I call it the tree house because you're like up high, you got the river down below and you got these trees, massive trees all, all around you that are kind of encompassing.
- [03:05]
Tyler
Yeah, the nature is incredible here. The plants, we had some rain today. The grass is beautiful. Local tropical fruit and all this. Yeah, Just the whole house and bodies. The experience, you know, I, I think.
- [03:21]
Daryl
It'S interesting because a lot of people listening to this or watching this, they're involved in business of some sort, right? They're either got an idea, they're, they're trying to build a business, start a business, whatever else. And a lot of times, right, like, we focus on just the numbers for me, my career, like when I take time away from the business and I go to places like this for example, and really like focus from a 30,000 foot view on my life, on my business, on my everything else, it's like there's something magical about like removing yourself from being in nature. Like kind of like reflecting on like all the goodness that you have and being able to go and focus. And like, for me, that's really helped in my professional career, just like having these reset type moments. And that's like when I saw this place, when the guy was like, hey, yo, this is about to hit the market. And he sent the pictures, both me and Daryl like call each other up like, dude, do you see that? There's no way that's real. There's no way that's real. And so, but we, we felt drawn to this for like more ways than one. It wasn't just like a good investment or a beautiful property. It was like something like almost like spiritual place to like, like I said, kind of detach, focus in, revert back.
- [04:41]
Chris
I think too, like when you're, when you're having success, when you're trying to have success, when you're doing things, like you got to have more than just like numbers, right? It's like, I want to make a million dollars this year. It's like, why? Right? And it's like, how do you make your life fun? How do you make it exciting? How do you make this life like Meaningful. And it's things like this. It's places like this where you get to experience something that kind of just takes you somewhere special. And I think that's what this place represents for me. It's like having fun, being in nature. It's a special place.
- [05:17]
Daryl
So I'm interested to know from, like, both of you guys, like, what your guys's personal development journey has been. Both business personal. Like, like, what has been important to you that is no longer important to you. Like, how you've learned, grow, develop. Right. Like what? Go ahead.
- [05:35]
Chris
I love the story. Like, in second grade, I was. I was. I was always going out to this, like, group of, like, eight of us. And I remember going out there and I was like, why? Why are we coming out of the classroom? I didn't get it. Like, oh, you guys don't know how to read, so we're teaching how to read. And that stuck with me. And I remember graduating college still in my mind, thinking, I don't know how to read. And I can remember after graduating from college, college, Chris was like, hey, dude, let's read this book. Okay, cool. What is it? It was Rich dad, Poor Dad. And I remember thinking, man, I don't read very well. So I'm going to try to read this book, finish it before Chris can remember that. So I read this book and I got done with it. I'm like, dude, I love that. That was so cool. So then it was like, let's read another book. And we kept reading books, and then all of a sudden it got into just.
- [06:22]
Daryl
So do you think that was like your. Your first, like, where, like, hey, I'm working on myself outside of what the school system told me to do.
- [06:29]
Chris
Yeah, I. I honestly don't think I really understood. I didn't understand entrepreneurship. I didn't understand a lot of things, but I was super ambitious. And I felt like when I started reading books, it was elevating me to think differently than I had ever thought before. Yeah. I had been taught, just work really, really hard. And, like, just work hard. Like, just work hard.
- [06:50]
Daryl
Don't read, don't read.
- [06:52]
Chris
It wasn't don't read. It was just work hard. And there wasn't really this idea that to be creative.
- [07:00]
Daryl
What about you, Tyler? What's, like, your journey been? You just, like, developing, obviously. You're running a very successful business now. You're building a real cool thing down in Arizona. Like, what is. What has been your path to get there?
- [07:13]
Tyler
Mentorship is really big for me. I feel like I learned really well, through others, I'm very curious. I ask a lot of questions and I've always been really drawn to people around me that have had, that are further down the road and have gotten to where I want to get to. And I love earning time with these people to kind of mine what the journey is like. Like, if I can forecast and kind of see a little bit of what that looks like and help me navigate through that a little bit more, I feel like it gives me some of the wisdom of not having to go through so many struggles on my own and kind of helped me adapt the mindset of what it takes to get there. So that's been really helpful. And I have a 30 minute to commute to and from work every day. And so I've learned. I really enjoy audible whenever I'm driving. I can, I can pound through a whole bunch of books and so what's.
- [08:05]
Daryl
Been your favorite one recently?
- [08:07]
Tyler
Profit first.
- [08:08]
Daryl
Profit First.
- [08:09]
Tyler
Yeah.
- [08:09]
Daryl
Nice. Who's the, who's the author of that?
- [08:11]
Tyler
I don't remember. Jared, you remember Michael something. His last name is Tough, so I really like that one. And then Patrick bet David's your next five moves. That was a great. Pretty solid.
- [08:25]
Daryl
Yeah, I haven't read that one. PBD's obviously stud. Right. Like he's got, he's got a lot of really good things. He was very political in this last election, which was fun to see. But, you know, that's cool. That's cool. You know, it's interesting, you said like, like to learn from mentors. Were you always that way?
- [08:46]
Tyler
I would say, I would say yes because, you know, my path in the door to door industry I felt like was successful because I really latched on to leaders and not a pay scale and not a company. Yeah, I latched onto the leaders that I felt like, hey, this is someone who's creating a life and a future that I would like to have and that I want to follow. And so I just highly valued the people that I was allowing to influence me. And that was my focus more so than, you know, an individual pay structure or the company title. And that got me really far in life because I learned what good leadership looked like. I learned what culture was like and the things that I wanted to create in my own life. I was getting firsthand education. And so that mentorship became an anchor in my life. And I was very different than my father. My dad was a very brilliant guy, mechanical, mechanical engineer, very practical, a type personality. And I was very creative. And so, you know, my, my dad Hammered through school, he kept all of his college books. He would still read them. Like, wow. He was just.
- [09:55]
Daryl
I always thought I'd do that. And I kept. I think I still have them, but, like, I don't think I've cracked them.
- [10:01]
Tyler
Yes.
- [10:01]
Daryl
Yeah.
- [10:01]
Chris
I can remember buying every. Every college book I bought. I'm like, I'm read this one.
- [10:05]
Daryl
Well, I spent $300 on this, so. And I forgot to sell it back, so.
- [10:10]
Chris
Yeah.
- [10:12]
Tyler
So my dad.
- [10:13]
Daryl
Good for him.
- [10:14]
Chris
Yeah.
- [10:14]
Tyler
I mean, and my dad's advice was like, stay in school and get a job. But my path led me to entrepreneurship, and so I had to really latch on to people that understood that world, and I had to learn it through, you know, just firsthand.
- [10:27]
Daryl
Dude, good for you. Because, you know, it took. It took me falling flat on my face to, like, start asking for help, right? Like, when I was in my twenties, I loved to act like I knew what was going on, right? Like, and I was pretty intelligent. Like, I had. I. I was. I did pretty good for not knowing anything, right? Like, or. And I definitely thought I knew everything, right? Like, I was. I was too good for education or mentors or asking for help. And, like, dude, it. I mean, it took a toll on me. And, like, I just love to, like, act as if I had it figured out and then just go to try to, like. Like, think through it on my own and then go and do it. And, like, that. That ultimately, like, I wish I would have made the shift sooner, right? But again, the. The failure that I experienced because I was such an arrogant prick, like, is probably the best thing that could ever happen to me where it, like, humbled me and put me in a position where, like, man, I need. I need some help. I need. I need to go and learn from others. Kind of like, Darrell talked about, like, the beginning of our path was like, all right, let's read. Let's read from these mentors that we don't personally know so they don't have to see us asking for help, right? And. And so we. We kind of read books, and then we went to a couple conferences, but then we still could try to figure it out on our own. And we were doing all these dumb little businesses that, like, we had no idea what we were doing.
- [12:05]
Chris
I think to the whole concept of, like, having a coach or paying someone or going to a seminar, that seems so hokey, uncomfortable. Like, why would I pay all this money, you know, Yet I would go to school and pay 1500 bucks in books that I never read, right? Isn't that funny.
- [12:27]
Daryl
Yeah, it's, it's way more comfortable if society accepts it. Right?
- [12:31]
Chris
Yeah.
- [12:31]
Daryl
Or encourages it. And I think, yeah. Like I, the way I looked at like the self development world was like a little hokey, like initially.
- [12:42]
Chris
I mean, even if you talk to the, an average person who doesn't read any of those books, if they have, if they never read those books and you talk about self development, it's like it's kind of like a woo woo thing.
- [12:54]
Daryl
Right.
- [12:54]
Chris
It's like, oh yes, help yourself. Like it's just a weird self help mentality. Yeah. Self help. But yet it's like, it's powerful. Like anyone who's helped themselves, if you help yourself, if you figure out how to help yourself, like you'll, you know.
- [13:10]
Daryl
It'S funny that they even call it self help because it's not.
- [13:13]
Chris
Right.
- [13:13]
Daryl
Like you're, you're helping yourself by having others help you.
- [13:16]
Chris
Correct.
- [13:17]
Daryl
Right. Because whether it's an author or a mentor or a coach or something else.
- [13:24]
Chris
So, so Chris, who is one of your, like, who's, who's one of your top mentors?
- [13:28]
Daryl
I'd say for sure. The guy that I learned from the most from more of a distant, not like a lot of personal interaction was Todd Peterson.
- [13:37]
Chris
Yeah.
- [13:39]
Daryl
And you know, I actually talked about this on a. I was doing like a little training for a bunch of multi level marketing people this last week. They brought me on as a guest and I talked about how like before I worked for Todd, when I was running my businesses, I hated Todd. Right. Like every, everything about him felt like he was an arrogant prick, thought like, you know, just whatever. But then I realized the reason I hated him is because he did it right and I didn't.
- [14:11]
Chris
Yeah.
- [14:12]
Daryl
You know, and, and so then I shifted my mindset when I ultimately, you know, I talk about like there was a four and a half year period where I worked for three different businesses that I call my paid education. And like I was very intentional from learning from these guys. And Todd just taught me so much by the way that, the way he built his empire, right. Like building it with transparency and culture and like just, just so much. Like even the way like he structured his pay scales and it was just like very transparent across the board of like, this is what we pay. If you want to get to the next level, these are the X, Y and Z. There's no secrets, there's no nothing.
- [14:55]
Chris
It was cool to see. I thought like the respect of those around him for Todd was immense and the way he treated everybody like he treated everyone like you were the only person he was talking to. Like, he's. I even had him one time. I was talking with him. It was just me and my daughter and just. He, like, gave us his full attention. He had someone come to him, he told him to hold on and just like, finish talking to us. And it was, it was one of, like, the first times I, it was just me, him and my daughter, and it was just like the amount of respect he gives people. That's why he gets so much respect back.
- [15:29]
Daryl
Yeah. Yeah. So, Todd, you know, I didn't. And the way I look at with mentors, you got to pay them in one way or another. You either pay by working for them or you pay by getting in the room with them. Right. With time, energy or money. And so, Todd, I, I paid for, by, by working for him. Right. And kind of studying him from abroad, which, you know, I, I knew having owned a home security business beforehand, exactly what the margins were, what he was making on my production and everything else. But, like, that was like such an incredible opportunity or the, the, the cost of, of. Of learning from him. It was just, yeah, working, working with him in his, in his corner. So that was a, that was, that was a cool, pivotal part of my career. And like, and Todd has continued to be just a cool person to, to learn from and study from, from afar. And I've had, you know, handful of conversations with him since I've not worked with him. And like, like you said, I think that was like, at an investor conference, right, when you had that conversation with you and his daughter. But yeah, how about, how about, how about you?
- [16:38]
Chris
One, One person I love is. Is Jeff Scholz. And Chris, you know him, but he was a guy that I, I was like. So when I left, when I left home for college, my dad, he was like, told me something. He's like, I want you to leave and you're not welcome to come back. Like, to live back home. You come visit, but just like, can't come back home and live. So when I left for college, I decided to go on a mission. I had some time. I had to figure out what to do with. I was trying to figure out, who do I know? It's Rich and my sister. From my sister, I heard things about this guy Jeff. I'm like, trying to figure out how to work for him, but he was, I go to work for him. And at the time, like, money was like the most scarce thing in the world. Like, and so to be around someone who, who in my perception Had a lot of money. He treated. He always treated people better than he. Like, money was like the secondary thing. And it was good for me to see that because I just. I hadn't been around someone who had money. And he set an example for me that I think has impacted me the rest of my life. Of like, never put money over people.
- [17:44]
Daryl
Well, I remember one of the lessons that you shared from like just that time of like one never allow a meal not to be on just one card.
- [17:54]
Chris
Right.
- [17:54]
Daryl
Like when. Whenever you go to eat, one person always pays and it should almost always be you.
- [17:58]
Chris
Right.
- [17:58]
Daryl
Like that. That's. I know that you learned that lesson from Jeff and like, he would. He would take you guys to eat all the time. All the time and do that.
- [18:07]
Chris
Right.
- [18:08]
Daryl
And. And just it was cool because we had a chance to go to lunch with him just the other day and. Right. Buy him lunch. Which. Which is cool because I know earlier in our careers he was.
- [18:17]
Chris
I mean, he pulled his wallet out too, you know.
- [18:19]
Daryl
Yeah, but. But no, Jeff. Jeff was a. Jeff's a special human in my book because he's actually, besides you, the only person that believed in me. Like, after my bankruptcy, which. Which was really cool to see. Like, he saw how hungry we were and everything else and was willing to put money on the line for somebody that literally had just filed bankruptcy, which was crazy. And so he helped. He helped us build our second alarm company from. Because we didn't. We didn't want to sell contracts anymore. We wanted to in house accounts. And so he put a fund together for us that we could draw on to essentially keep those. Those accounts in house. And now that was just a really powerful lesson for me. Like, like believing people. Right. Like, not. Yeah.
- [19:08]
Chris
I mean, to be honest with Jeff, he gave me so many different loans. Like, I needed one for a car. I didn't have like, credit, so he gave me money for that. Like he would just. And he didn't even. Like, he didn't have any obligation to as well, but he was a guy that was always there to help and like.
- [19:23]
Tyler
Right.
- [19:24]
Daryl
You guys weren't even like really family. Like he was like this extended in law of something else. Right? Like, yeah, yeah. He's definitely a cool, like, early stage mentor of.
- [19:35]
Chris
So let me ask people. Let me ask you this, guys. So, like, what. So I know, like, like business. We learn a lot about business. We have to. Right. Things are always changing in business and stuff. What about your other aspects of life? Like your health, relationships, spirituality? Like what. What are like some mentors or what. How are you developing there? Like, what are the things you use or tools? Tyler, is there anything in those categories that you're working on or.
- [20:01]
Tyler
Well, I'm really blessed. I had an awesome father who was really good at showing love and spending time and showing how to really create connection as a father. And so that was really instilled in me. I knew I had a dad that always would come home, be excited to see me, give me a big hug, and was always there to support me in anything I was doing. And so, you know, I feel like that's. That's an attribute I've been able to carry on for my dad when I come home. I'm good at being with my kids, and, you know, I care a lot about that connection and that time that we have together because I know how quick they're going to grow up. And so, you know, that's been a huge influence on me in my life and the impact of having a good father in the home and, you know, my parents having a good relationship and just feeling like family and home is the best place you could. You could ever want to be. And I want to make sure I perpetuate that with my kids. And so when you talk about money and having fun and all that, like, to me, that's not getting on the golf course or, you know, running away. It's. It's creating opportunities to connect with my kids and my family where I can really invest my time and experiences into them. So for me, I'd say that's been my number one influence there. And then obviously, you know, spiritually making sure that Christ is centered in my life, I feel like the blessings that I've been given in my life, I. I don't feel like are the merit of my own works. I feel like if I need to always stay humble and grateful and. And recognize the blessings that God's given me, because I have an abundance of what the Lord has given me, and I don't want to take that for granted. So making sure I'm amen centered.
- [21:47]
Daryl
Amen.
- [21:47]
Chris
That's awesome.
- [21:48]
Daryl
Hallelujah.
- [21:49]
Chris
What about you, Chris?
- [21:50]
Daryl
Dude, you know, it's. It's interesting. You say to like, okay, this business, whatever. So I've never really idolized somebody in business unless they line up with all the other aspects that I. That I want. I know, like, there's been a few, I guess you call mentors or people that I'm like, okay, I want to learn this one thing from them, but I don't want to emulate Them, Right. Like I'll give you an example. Grant, I love you. But like there, there's only a few aspects about Grant Cardone in the past. He's starting to line up some things now, right. He's starting to get his family and different things like that in order, which I respect. But like, you know, there's like just like this action part of him that I'm like, I want to learn that, but I don't necessarily want to put him in my mentor bucket. Right. So like for me, when I'm, when I'm looking at people that I want to impact me in business, like really, it's like, okay, do they check all the boxes physically, economically, associations and their spirituality, Right. Like, are they aligned? And so like when I look at like a guy like Todd, right. Like I've, I've appreciated one. The guy's kept the same wife and has kids and respectable kids and he.
- [23:00]
Chris
Talks really highly about her, right?
- [23:02]
Daryl
Talks highly about his kids, keeps his family and everything spiritually. Yeah. Like he's, I, you know, I'm sure he's not perfect, but he creates a lot of the same alignment that I want, which, which I'm like, okay, I respect that physically. Guy works out, takes care of his body, everything like that. And so like for me, like that, that's the mentor I've always tried to be as well. Right. Like if I can, if I want to emulate this guy, I want to be the person that people can emulate. Like, I'm not perfect in any of those categories. Right. But like for me, that's, that's the thing I'm always, I'm always looking for. I think it's impossible to like fully separate them out from a, from a standpoint. Like, I think if somebody gets it physically and understands the science of discipline and how a body works and everything else, naturally, nine times out of ten they're going to apply it in these other areas of their life. And if they're not, there's probably something going on here that they're cheating their way to the top.
- [24:02]
Chris
Yeah.
- [24:02]
Daryl
And so, so if you, if you don't cheat, chances are those principles are falling over into other areas.
- [24:11]
Chris
Yeah.
- [24:12]
Daryl
Now I understand there's other aspects to it, right. Like you can't always have. Relationships aren't one sided. For me, that, that's what I'm looking for. And a lot of it like is, is a level of education. Like my dad, he may have not been the best financially, but he was his best financially. Right. Like my dad grew up in a, in a white, like a very, like his dad was an alcoholic. Nobody in his family had ever stayed married, didn't have the gospel of Jesus Christ. Right. Like, and my dad took that, went to school, got a good job, did everything society told him. He was extremely disciplined. Invested half of his paycheck into his retirement. Right. Like did, did all the things. So even though my dad isn't like a perfect like entrepreneur, financially, he, he got like. He's a great example of those, those things which also showed up in his physical life, his relationships, everything like that.
- [25:09]
Chris
You know, I think like, I think if someone's struggling, I think if someone's struggling like in their business or maybe in their relationship or maybe in their health, they should look at something else that they're, they're also avoiding and start working on that.
- [25:27]
Daryl
Yeah.
- [25:27]
Chris
In other words, let's say I'm struggling financially, I should look at my health and figure out how to optimize my health.
- [25:35]
Daryl
Yep.
- [25:35]
Chris
If I'm struggling my relationship, I should figure out how to like figure out another aspect of my life that I could improve that's not so maybe heavy or over complicated and fix that first. I think, I think a lot of times people get so stuck on the one thing when like you said, these principles overlap amongst themselves. And so I think if you can like take the pressure off of. This is way too complicated to fix my relationship with my, in my marriage. It's. It's too complicated. I don't know what to do. Like, get yourself in a really good spot health wise. Get yourself in a really good spot spiritually. And I think as you start to develop those, those principles or alignment, I think it will help your relationship.
- [26:17]
Daryl
You know. One of my, one of my first coaches that I paid for, for right. I, I paid him. It was a pretty big check to, to be in his corner. And for me like September checked all the boxes. He wasn't like this multi, multi millionaire or anything else, but he was doing a lot of things from a financial standpoint. They like were showing me the right principles. But I loved the fact that he put like his fitness and everything. Like he was like cutting down, getting things right. He talked a lot about like not lying to yourself. Right. Like in, in like what areas of life am I, am I living a lie? What, what conversations am I avoiding? What, you know, all the different things. But you know, to your point of like going and starting something different, that's kind of opposite. I think, I think a lot of times it is our first fitness, like I think. I think fitness can teach you a lot. And I think a lot of that originates by, like, why God put us.
- [27:23]
Tyler
On the earth, right?
- [27:24]
Daryl
Like. Like, we're. We're here for a physical experience, and if we understand how the body works. And I'm like, I said no, no physical specimen. I wish I was in better shape. I was, but. But, like, every time I, like, dial in, do something, like, very disciplined physically. 99 times out of 100, I have a better relationship with my wife. I have. I perform better in business. I prefer, like, just all. All the things. Like, I'm more disciplined in my prayers. Like, it's. It's like one of the easiest ways to create a ripple effect is, like, just start chalking up wins on the physical side. And. And like I said, nine times out of ten is going to transfer over.
- [28:08]
Chris
So I'm kind of experiencing a transformation physically. I feel like the last few years, I've learned a lot of stuff from, you know, meditation, Tony Robbins, a lot of these different things.
- [28:17]
Daryl
I mean, you. You're showing it off today.
- [28:18]
Chris
Geez, I'm in Hawaii. No sun's out. But anyways, I remember the beginning of the year. I'm thinking, I've been. I feel like I've gone through this transformation internally. I need to, like, make it external. And so I've been, like, lifting weights, really focused on my diet, eating a lot better, and that's been good. What's really interesting is when we were in Boston, I went and did that half marathon.
- [28:44]
Tyler
That was wild.
- [28:45]
Daryl
And do you guys know about this? Oh, my gosh.
- [28:48]
Chris
Yeah. So. So I. I don't run. I haven't ran at all. And I heard these guys were doing a marathon. And I'm sitting in class, been sitting there all week. I'm thinking, could I do a half marathon? I don't know. Like, 13 miles seems, like, pretty dang far.
- [29:02]
Daryl
And so I get a text across the room, hey, dude, we should run a half marathon tomorrow. And I was like, no.
- [29:09]
Chris
And anytime I have a dumb idea, I try to rope Chris in, but he didn't.
- [29:14]
Daryl
That's like, one of the first times I. I was like, not this time. Usually I'm. I'm down for a dumb idea or something crazy.
- [29:21]
Chris
But it was interesting. I. I ran it. And I. My goal is to not stop running. And I did. And. And, wow, it was, dude crazy.
- [29:28]
Daryl
Like, Daryl, at least give it, like, some buildup here. Shiz. I mean, guy had. Hadn't run more than a mile in the last five years. At one point. One point further.
- [29:38]
Chris
Like 10 years, right?
- [29:40]
Daryl
Like, literally no training. He had lifted weights, done no cardio, anything like that. And you ran. What was your. What was your minute average?
- [29:49]
Chris
It was 10.
- [29:49]
Daryl
10, like, runs a 10 minute average across 13 miles. Like, dude, I'm not sure I could even run a 10 minute, one mile right now.
- [29:59]
Tyler
That's incredible.
- [30:00]
Chris
But it was interesting because you didn't stop running. Never stop, dude.
- [30:04]
Tyler
That's. That's the hardest part.
- [30:05]
Chris
That was my whole goal. I was like, I will not stop running.
- [30:07]
Tyler
It's one thing to finish, but then to have that stamina to keep going.
- [30:10]
Chris
So I had a friend running with me, and while we were running around mile two or three, he says, daryl, if this isn't your pace, if you're running slower than your pace, you're gonna hate it. Like, you make sure you're going your pace, but then don't go faster than your pace because it'll also burn you out. So around mile five, he was like. It was. Our pace was a little, like, just a little faster than he wanted to go because he. He runs a lot. And. And so he started to, like, kind of back off. Who is this, Fabio?
- [30:38]
Daryl
Okay.
- [30:38]
Chris
And so then Flavio.
- [30:40]
Daryl
Yeah.
- [30:40]
Chris
So I decided, you know what? I'm gonna stick to my pace. I feel like it's good. And so around mile five, we separated. So the first mile was, like, forever. I was like, when's this first mile gonna end? And then I'm like, all right, mile two, mile three. And then they started to kind of click off. I'm like, just take one mile at a time. And then what was wild was the people on the sideline cheering.
- [31:03]
Tyler
Yeah.
- [31:04]
Chris
I was like. I would. I would say probably not the nicest things about them from an outside perspective. But now, having ran a race, like, I finished because of those people. Like, it was just them cheering and stuff that gave me energy to keep going.
- [31:18]
Tyler
Yeah.
- [31:19]
Chris
Is being in that whole group of people that, like, gave me the energy. So it was a. It was a completely different experience than I anticipated. And so what.
- [31:27]
Daryl
So what did that teach you? Like, just the. The whole physical experience of going and doing something that's like, just. Just doesn't seem like conceivable, frankly. What were you gonna say?
- [31:37]
Tyler
What was it like, first to finish? Like, I want to hear what that was like.
- [31:40]
Chris
Mile 10.
- [31:41]
Tyler
Yeah.
- [31:42]
Chris
Is when I started. Like, holy crap, this is. I can't. Three more miles. That's like. That was when it got hard.
- [31:49]
Tyler
Yeah.
- [31:50]
Daryl
30 more.
- [31:51]
Chris
Yeah. Yeah, 30 more. I'm just saying all these things in my head and I'm like, it was just, it started to get like pretty challenging at that point and I just started talking to myself and saying all kinds of stuff and having these conversations of like, you can do it. Stop thinking about it. Focus on the little girl on the side of the road. Focus on the people up there. You got a drink coming up in like, you know, I just, I was just trying to like, get myself focused back on where I needed to be. But when I finished, man, I was like, well, no, actually the finish line, I couldn't see where it was, but I could hear it because it kind of like did some turns and it wasn't our normal route. And so I was like, dude, I don't know how much longer I can keep going. Like, I was just like, it was really weird. I had like, I had, I was ready to check out as soon as that finish line came up.
- [32:34]
Tyler
Yeah.
- [32:35]
Chris
But then I, Yeah. Finished. Cross the line finish. And it was, it was a relief. It was a high.
- [32:41]
Tyler
Wow, that's incredible.
- [32:44]
Chris
It was good. But what I, what I got from that, I realized that we have so much more capacity than we're giving ourselves credit for.
- [32:51]
Tyler
Yeah.
- [32:52]
Chris
Like, was it really that hard? No. Like, I did it right. And I'm not the, I wouldn't say I'm like the mentally, the toughest mentally person I know.
- [33:01]
Daryl
Like, but you're also not £400, but. Yeah.
- [33:03]
Chris
Correct. But dude, when I was on mile nine, pretty sure an 80 year old passed me woman. And when I was on mile 10, this dude that was probably twice as much weighted twice as much as me passed me. I'm like, oh, dang. You know, like, focus on your race, don't focus on them. But we have so much in us.
- [33:26]
Tyler
Yeah.
- [33:26]
Chris
You know, we talk about being tired, we talk about being frustrated, we talk about being angry. Like, I do believe those are all choices. Those are all like patterns that we've just programmed into ourselves. And I think there's so much work.
- [33:39]
Daryl
Again, I think there's very little that can teach you that besides physical activity. Right. Like you, you don't necessarily learn that when you're like the closest to that would maybe be knocking doors.
- [33:52]
Tyler
Right.
- [33:52]
Daryl
Like one more door or whatever else. But like very few other things in your life do you get to that mental exertion where it's like, dude, I'm not sure I can keep going. I'm not sure like what I'm capable of or whatnot.
- [34:07]
Chris
Right.
- [34:07]
Daryl
Like, we live in such a Plush society, Right. Like, air conditioning everywhere. I mean, we live better than kings did 200 years ago.
- [34:17]
Chris
I love. I don't know where you got the same, but you've said this for years. It's not what I'm mentally capable of doing, but what I'm physically capable of doing. And I say that to myself in the gym all the time.
- [34:28]
Daryl
Yep.
- [34:28]
Chris
When I'm struggling, like, can I do one more? Like, physically, yes. Mentally, I'm deciding, right? So I do it. I do one more, and then I do one more after that. Because it's. Physically, you can do so much more than you think you can.
- [34:41]
Daryl
Right?
- [34:42]
Tyler
Yeah.
- [34:42]
Daryl
I mean, it's. It's remarkable that, like. Like, in situations where adrenaline kicks in. Right. Like, you can lift a car, you can do one more rep, you can run 13 miles with. With no training. Yeah, right. Like, yeah, the physical limitations are always mentally put on ourselves.
- [35:01]
Chris
But let's just talk about the reality. The reality is, is people are mentally weak.
- [35:08]
Daryl
Oh, yeah.
- [35:09]
Chris
Like, there's just a lot of weakness bred in our society, and maybe it's because of the luxuries we have. But, like, dude, I mean, yeah, there's. There's some. There's some, like, we need mental toughness.
- [35:21]
Daryl
I think. I think one of the best way to get my teeth kicked in is, like, listen to some David Goggins, right? You know, like, a little can't hurt me. Like, dude, I remember the first time I listened to the audible can't hurt me. I literally, like, got on my phone and ordered marathon running shoes.
- [35:40]
Chris
Yeah, I remember.
- [35:40]
Daryl
Dude, I'm running a marathon.
- [35:42]
Chris
I got the text message, hey, Chris. Hey, Daryl. We're running. We're running a marathon.
- [35:46]
Daryl
But, okay, but that was. That was old Daryl, where I would, like, try to get him excited about something, and he would never do it. Like, so, like, it's.
- [35:55]
Chris
I.
- [35:56]
Daryl
It's cool to see a new Daryl in the last year, year and a half, where he's like. He's up more to, like, some of the physical challenges that I wanted because I've always done stupid physical challenges. Like, oh, it's like. Like, oh, I'm gonna go do 60 day juice fast. Or I'm gonna, you know, I don't know, see how long I can stay awake or 72 hour water fast.
- [36:16]
Chris
I was always, like, I've always been active. I've always been skinny. But I wouldn't say I've been, like, optimal health wise.
- [36:22]
Tyler
Right.
- [36:22]
Chris
And I think that's where I'm like, all right, I'm Getting older now, and I want to be optimal for as long as I can.
- [36:29]
Daryl
Well, I think. I think the thing that shifted in you as well is, like, mentally, like, you've been physically active. Just to be physically active. I think you're actually connecting it with, like, the mentality now.
- [36:39]
Chris
Yeah.
- [36:39]
Daryl
Where like, you want to do hard things and like, kind of prove to yourself, like, like, that's always been me.
- [36:45]
Chris
Right.
- [36:45]
Daryl
Like, and I, like, for whatever reason, I haven't ever been able to get you on board with that. Right. You're always like, oh, that's stupid. Why would I do that? Just to do it. Right. So that's. That's been a fun transition in our relationship of like, all right, let's. Let's push the limits. Let's. Let's figure out what we're capable of doing.
- [37:04]
Chris
So it's awesome. Ty, what about you? Where are you at physically? Like, what are some of the challenges you have or what are some of the things you want to change or shift around?
- [37:12]
Tyler
Yeah. So I want to get my eating dialed in to where I know what I'm putting in my body and I understand what my macros and my protein and the calories, I never count that. And I think it would go a long way if I'm focusing a lot more and not like, grabbing quick energy food out of the kitchen and just shoving it down the gullet. And then.
- [37:34]
Chris
So what are your. What are your worst foods you eat?
- [37:40]
Tyler
Probably carbs at night. Like, if I just reach for a bagel and cream cheese at night time, I'm like, about to go to sleep. That doesn't sit well, you know, Nice. But I mean, that's, that's quick, easy fix. If you don't want to do dinner at night, you're just gonna throw down.
- [37:54]
Daryl
Or, you know, guys like you that just really piss me me off, they can, like, eat a bagel and cream. Like, dude, I freaking, like, went a year without white flour, fried foods, and sugar and I still got this dang thing, man.
- [38:08]
Chris
Like, like, I'll give 11 credit to you, Chris. Like, you have What? It's type 2, type 1 diabetes. Type 1 diabetes. I was getting mixed up.
- [38:17]
Daryl
Do not call it type.
- [38:18]
Chris
Type 1 diabetes.
- [38:18]
Daryl
Self inflicted fat people. Sorry.
- [38:21]
Chris
You have type 1 diabetes and you never bring that up as, like, an issue, but I see you always like having to like, you're. I had to get you something, some sugar this morning because your blood sugar was out of whack.
- [38:34]
Daryl
Yep.
- [38:35]
Chris
How do you. How do you deal with that? Because that would be an easy excuse to say, well, I don't operate like.
- [38:41]
Daryl
Everyone else, you know, I, and I think that's like the thing I always have to look at is like okay, Chris versus Chris, right? Like, because if I allow myself to get outside of that, then I look at a guy like Tyler who's eating cream cheese and bagels and like, like, oh yeah, I'm struggling. It's like, screw you dude, you're looking good, man. Like, if I ate cream cheese and bagels, I would be £400, you know, and, but I have to like remove that thought and just be like, okay, what is Chris capable of? What am I up against now? I know I'm capable of more, right? And, and so, and I think that's where all of us have to get to is like that, that understand like what, what does God know that I'm capable of doing? And because like me and him are the only ones that know. Not my wife, not Daryl, not any of my friends, right? Nobody knows what I'm capable of. Nobody seen me in secret, right? And so like that's, that's where I have to like win is the secret battles.
- [39:46]
Chris
Yeah.
- [39:47]
Daryl
And so like, you know, I, I made a, I made a really awesome decision. I don't know what triggered in my little 10 year old brain, but I was sitting in, sitting in the hospital when I first got diagnosed with diabetes. And this nurse, I still remember her name, her name was Kathy. My nurse Kathy.
- [40:10]
Chris
Sweet Kathy.
- [40:11]
Daryl
Because I, she was so nice. I made her a nice card and everything.
- [40:17]
Tyler
Anyways, Kathy, how long ago was this?
- [40:19]
Daryl
This is when I was 10 years old, 30 years ago. So Kathy wheels in this TV and pops in a little VHS and on there there's this NFL player talking about how he has type 1 diabetes. And like he hasn't let that like get in his way. And like, you know, that, that spoke to me as a little 10 year old, 10 year old Chris, because like one, I love football, right? Two, up until that moment I thought my life was over. From a standpoint, I was never going to be able to eat. In my mind, I could never eat sugar again. I was just going to be this weird kid that always had to take injections, you know, just all these different things. And so like, oh, check out that sweet lizard. Wow. Dang, that thing is dope.
- [41:08]
Chris
Looks like. Come on.
- [41:10]
Daryl
He's right here.
- [41:11]
Tyler
He's right here on the corner St. Green.
- [41:13]
Daryl
Oh, that is so awesome. Yeah, so, so yeah, they show me this video and I made a decision right then I'm like, I will not allow myself ever to make diabetes my excuse, right? If he can do it, I can do it. And, and the, what I programmed in my mind was I will never say that I am a diabetic. Like, I will never identify as a diabetic. I have type 1 diabetes, but I am not a diabetic. And so like that just, that just little mental shift is helped me but like I know I could use it as an excuse because frankly, if I'm being honest, like, it's difficult, it's, it sucks. Like when I, when I'm like dialed in with my diet and then I like have to go and drink pure orange juice right like in the middle of the night, I'm like, crap, dude, I was in keto.
- [42:16]
Chris
Even like, even like fasting. You can't fast. Yeah.
- [42:19]
Daryl
Like I've. So I have attempted three day fast three different times. Two of the times my blood sugar got too low to be able to finish the fast. Third time I was able to do it right, like, like things. And again, I even hate talking about this because like I, I don't want it to ever appear to limit, limit me. But if I'm, if I'm being frankly honest, there's like things that I have to deal with that normal human beings don't. Don't have to. Like, like sometimes I yearn to be like, darrell just completed a five day water fast. And I'm just like, man, I really wish that all I had to do was make a decision because it's not just making a decision. I have to decide and then I have to freaking monitor this and make all kinds of crazy adjustments and like limit in my exercise at different times and like, and like, just be well aware like when to make sure my insulin isn't overproducing and just all the, all these things. And so. But again, I think, I think the coolest thing about type 1 diabetes is really, it's been a superpower because it's taught me discipline that I, I don't think I could have ever learned just from normal life.
- [43:26]
Chris
Like it.
- [43:26]
Daryl
And so, so yeah, like everybody's in their own battle. Every, everybody is. And so I always try not to overly. Like, I'm, I'm fairly judgmental from a physical standpoint. Like, I'll look at a 400 pound person and be like, dude, get more discipline. Like, that's what I think. But at the same time I gotta, I always remind myself, like, look, everybody's in their own personal battle if they're Constantly bettering themselves, like, that's all that matters, right? Like, no matter, as long as the trajectory is in the right way, then. And when they slide back a little bit, rebound and get back up.
- [44:01]
Chris
Well, it's interesting because you always say, like, physical first, and I think that's. Because that's where you've had to be. Right? I don't disagree with it. I think, I think you're correct. For, For a lot of people, getting your physical health dialed in can impact the rest of your life in a big way.
- [44:19]
Daryl
I mean, dude, it's the only way we experience life. Right? Like. Like, I can't feel the spirit if I am just, like, shoving myself full of donuts and weigh 400 pounds.
- [44:30]
Chris
Yeah, but you're talking about, like, people are like, maybe overweight, but still you can be like, skinny or you can, you know, I mean, so I, I think.
- [44:36]
Tyler
But it.
- [44:37]
Daryl
But even, but even then, I. I.
- [44:40]
Chris
Guess what I would say to that, like, contrary or a different perspective would be like, I think if you don't have your values lined up, right, it's like you could be the fittest person in the world but completely unhappy because the actions you take.
- [44:54]
Daryl
Right?
- [44:54]
Chris
Right. So it's obviously a balance of all those things. And I see. I could see it from every different direction.
- [45:01]
Daryl
Right.
- [45:04]
Tyler
First case of type 1 diabetes was just cured with stem cell therapy for the first time. Dude, you know, is that true or what'd you say?
- [45:12]
Daryl
You know, I. I saw the article. Yeah. Stem cells cured type 1 diabetes. Like, here's. Here's where I'm at. I want to believe it, like, but, like, probably not.
- [45:22]
Chris
Yeah.
- [45:23]
Daryl
I, I would say the one downfall of our capitalistic society is health. Right. Like, it's. It's. The unfortunate byproduct of capitalism is that there's a lot of people make a lot of money on. On illness.
- [45:38]
Tyler
Yeah.
- [45:38]
Daryl
Right. Like insulin, blood sugar strips, insulin pumps, like, all the stuff it takes to take care of diabetes or cancer or anything else. Dude, those are a lot of people that are going to lose their livelihood if you find a cure. And, and so it's the, like I said, the unfortunate byproduct. And although, like, I want to believe that this has happened, I hope it does. Will it ever be made available to me or how. I don't know.
- [46:06]
Chris
Right.
- [46:06]
Daryl
Probably outside of the U.S. maybe Robert.
- [46:08]
Tyler
Kennedy will figure it out.
- [46:10]
Daryl
RFK Jr. Let's go cure it. Yeah, it is. It is one of those. But I will say my biggest pet peeve. Don't ever call me a type 2.
- [46:22]
Chris
Diabetic, I always forget. I know I'm gonna say the wrong one and I think that's why I always end up saying the wrong one.
- [46:28]
Daryl
And the reason why is they should not be in the same ballpark. Type 2 is self inflicted and they can cure themselves. They literally all they have to do is diet and exercise and they're cured. There is no Cure to type 1 diabetes except for hopefully stem cells.
- [46:42]
Tyler
So cool.
- [46:44]
Daryl
No good stuff. Well, dude, what's next? What's next for you? What are you working on?
- [46:53]
Tyler
In what domain?
- [46:55]
Daryl
Just all the domains. What are you, what are you working on?
- [46:58]
Tyler
Just getting to the next level. I think that getting, getting to a certain height and then getting, you know, getting to the point where you have to break through a glass ceiling. I think that's kind of where I'm at.
- [47:12]
Daryl
What motivates you?
- [47:18]
Tyler
Progression. Realizing that to get to the next level I have to become more. But also, yeah, what motivates me is opportunity. I want, I want more opportunity. I feel like, I feel that restriction of that glass ceiling which is just a byproduct of me. And to get to the next level, I need to become more and, and learn how to develop myself to the next stage. So, yeah, more freedom.
- [47:46]
Daryl
Daryl, what's, what's next for you?
- [47:49]
Chris
What's next for me?
- [47:50]
Daryl
What are you working on right now, man?
- [47:54]
Chris
So working on. I think there's a lot of stuff that's, that's just coming, that's happening. I think it's just stepping into the businesses that are happening. Stepping into the, the. My kids are getting older, so stepping into like the different activities and stuff going on there.
- [48:12]
Daryl
Dude, that's, that's a crazy topic in and of itself. Like both of us have seniors. You have a 14 year old. Like, yikes.
- [48:20]
Chris
There's that they're closer to being a.
- [48:22]
Daryl
Grandpa than I am to being a newborn father. Like, that's wild. Yeah, that's wild.
- [48:27]
Tyler
How old is your oldest?
- [48:29]
Daryl
17. She turns 18 here in like three weeks.
- [48:32]
Tyler
Wow.
- [48:32]
Chris
Yeah.
- [48:32]
Daryl
And she graduates next month.
- [48:34]
Tyler
Oh my gosh. Yeah.
- [48:35]
Daryl
Yeah.
- [48:36]
Tyler
Wild.
- [48:36]
Chris
Yeah.
- [48:37]
Daryl
And my youngest is six, so like. Yeah, within the next six years we could. Yeah, definitely. Grandpa Lee here.
- [48:44]
Chris
Crazy. I think there's, there's kind of two sayings that I always like to live by. And it's, it's. One is like, how can it get better than this? Realizing like, dude, life is really good. There's so many blessings there, but it can even get better. Right. And just being excited for like what that could look like. And then this saying in 10 years.
- [49:04]
Tyler
You'Re going to look back at your time right now and be like, oh, that was the glory day. That was the golden age. Or do you feel like 10 years from now?
- [49:10]
Chris
I think it'll always get better. Like, I do think there is that. That meant you'll always look back and realize, holy cow, that was way better than I thought it was. Yeah, I think we do that initially because we're not tied into these negative emotions that really don't serve us.
- [49:22]
Tyler
Yeah.
- [49:22]
Daryl
And frankly, if it doesn't get better than this, like why, why, why even try? Right? Like, I think it will always, like life is about progression, creation, value. Right.
- [49:32]
Chris
Like actually give you an example of one of those. So there's this place called Narnia and it's a local place here where it's got all these different waterfalls. And we were there before we had this property. And I remember it's a saying in our family, our girls always say it whenever we're in like a really cool place experience or doing something awesome. It's how can it get better than this? Someone will say it.
- [49:53]
Tyler
Yeah.
- [49:53]
Chris
And I remember one of my girls saying it there at the waterfall place. I'm like, I think I said at.
- [49:57]
Tyler
Your property today, but I walked around.
- [50:00]
Chris
And I remember saying, I was like, how could it get better than this?
- [50:02]
Daryl
But like, but I, but I think the, the terminology isn't like, wow, this is the best it can be. It's like, it's like, how do I make sure that I don't limit myself to only this, right? Like, like being, being able to. Because I think one of the biggest self destructive characteristics that any of us have is we self destruct, right? Like, like we, we hit a, we hit a ceiling. And we're like, I'm not worthy of that. Or I, I only should have that. Right? And so then we never get through that. Versus like, okay, I've gotten here okay, and I'm loving this. I'm really enjoying this. This is a freaking phenomenon. I mean, look at this, this waterfall. Like, how can it.
- [50:46]
Chris
Like, so I remember, I remember.
- [50:47]
Daryl
What can I do to make it even better than this?
- [50:49]
Chris
Yeah. And I remember saying that and then coming here and be like, ah, that's. I remember that time, that's how. And now I'm here, I'm like, how can it get better than this? And I've had experiences with people here and that's how it's gotten better. And so like, I just know, like life will continue to unfold, as long as I'm excited and expecting things to be even better.
- [51:09]
Tyler
Yeah.
- [51:10]
Chris
And then the last, the last piece or saying that I like to live by is just trust in the unknown. And I learned that through meditation conference.
- [51:20]
Tyler
But trust the unknown.
- [51:21]
Chris
Trust in the unknown. And so basically what that looks like is like instead of trying to understand how everything's going to play out, trust that the unknown, what you don't know how it's going to play out, like the future is going to be way better than you could imagine. So instead of trying to imagine the future, realize it's going to be even better than that.
- [51:39]
Daryl
It's because we, we create so much anxiety, like trying to predict the future, right?
- [51:44]
Chris
Yeah.
- [51:44]
Daryl
Like, oh, like this should be happening. Or what's, how's this going to impact me? Right. And you know, obviously we've had a lot of professional experiences in which this happened, right. Like early on with our business, getting a million dollar fine from the state. Right. Like, like, how do you, like, if we just ponder on this and dwell on this, it's like, dude, we're done.
- [52:07]
Chris
It eats you up.
- [52:08]
Daryl
Over, we're screwed. Instead of like, hey, trusting the unknown, somehow it's going to work out. I'm just going to keep putting a step, one step in front of the other. And eventually, as long as, as all. As long as I'm living in the present, right? Living in the present and doing my very best, the unknown will take care of itself.
- [52:24]
Chris
I'll give you an example because I think this is so important. I remember, I remember being in Cabo and I had a phone call with a couple employees, high level management, and there was some massive tension. And I remember on the. Before I got on the phone call because I was kind of stressing out about it, I caught myself, I said, you know what? Like, trust in the unknown. Like, this is just a process that everyone involved has to go through and at the end of it, everyone will end up in a situation way better than we currently are. And so I just walked in with that attitude and I was like, good. There was nothing that could shake me in that conversation. I. No matter how, how mad or whatever. But I was in a situ. I was in an emotional state where I could handle anything.
- [53:06]
Daryl
Yeah, dude, I think, I think that the first one's awesome, right? Like, how can I get better in this? I think that's just fun to dream that way.
- [53:12]
Chris
Yeah.
- [53:13]
Daryl
But the second one I think is like one of the most powerful things that you can tell yourself in any situation. Relationships Business spiritually. Right. Like, just gotta, like, breathe.
- [53:24]
Chris
Yeah.
- [53:24]
Daryl
Trust in the unknown.
- [53:26]
Chris
Even, like, even like my wife. Right. Like, I always want my relationship to improve and get better. And, you know, one thing about relationships are two people are involved and they're always changing. And so, like, the relationship has to change. Right.
- [53:39]
Daryl
And.
- [53:39]
Chris
And as we get older, it's like we want our relationship to be even better and better. And sometimes there's struggles and sometimes it gets really, really good. And so we're always trying to, like, level up. But even with that, it's like, I just trust, like, it's going to be awesome. And so I walk into my relationship knowing that I'm going to experience even better days in our relationship. And I just know it's going to come at some point. I don't put a timeline on it. I don't put expectation of how it's going to look. I just walk in knowing it's going to continue to get better.
- [54:10]
Tyler
Do you feel like trust is in opposition of control? Because I feel like part of that means we have to let go of control.
- [54:17]
Daryl
Yep.
- [54:18]
Tyler
And realize that in some ways we really don't have control of an outcome.
- [54:21]
Daryl
But it's. We can influence it, we can impact it. But yeah, like, is there a facade.
- [54:27]
Tyler
Of control that we. That we. Oh, yeah, probably.
- [54:30]
Chris
There's definitely a facade.
- [54:31]
Tyler
Yeah, dude.
- [54:32]
Daryl
And less than control, it's like more like control the response. Right. Like, I love Urban Meyer. His. His little equation E plus R equals O. Have you heard that one?
- [54:43]
Tyler
No.
- [54:44]
Daryl
So it comes from his book above the Line, which is absolutely phenomenal. And so it stands for event plus response equals outcome. And essentially he says, if you want to impact and control the outcome, you just have to learn how to control the response. You're never going to be able to control the event. Events happen and it's this all. It's the same mentality, right? Like, events happen. Like, employees are outraged, somebody's quitting, million dollar fine, whatever.
- [55:15]
Chris
Right.
- [55:15]
Daryl
This is an event. Literally no control over it. Right. Like, you may have been able to impact it before, but it's already happened. Here it is. Nothing's changing it. And so it's okay if this is the event, how am I going to respond if I want this outcome? And so the thing he always talks about is like, okay, understand what the outcome you want and say, if I wanted this outcome, how would I respond to this situation? Press pause. How would I respond in this situation to it? So, like, bring in a relationship, right? Like the outcome I want my relationship with My wife is. I want an eternal companion that's always with me. We're strong, we love each other, we laugh together, we have a good time, right? Like all the different things, right? That's the outcome I always desire. Events. Wife come up to me and says, yo, I want a divorce. Like, that hasn't happened. Andrea, I love you, but say that was the event, right? In that moment, if I can press pause and realize, okay, what outcome do I want? How would I respond to that situation, right? Versus like, I'm not clear on the outcome I want and I'm not willing to press pause that when that event happens. Like, I just like react and respond in a way that's like, what, what are you talking about? Like, I thought things were good. What? You know, that's like versus like, hey, babe, clearly I've done something wrong, right? Like I. If you are feeling this way, like that's blindsided me a little bit here. I'm committed to being your number one. I want this. Like, what? How can we work on this, right? Like, that's a completely different response. And it's same in business, right? Like I want to go and I want to sell my business for $100 million. I get a million dollar fine and we have 10 grand in the bank account, right? How am I going to respond to this particular situation if that's the outcome that I desire, right? Versus, you know, and so it's just, it's just constantly like keeping your eternal, I guess you'd say, or like future perspective of outcome. And so, and not necessarily controlling it, but more just controlling like the response and, and hoping for a better future.
- [57:34]
Chris
It's like, think of the person who already received the $10 million, whatever, right? Now take him and put him in that situation. How would he respond? I think that's the best way to look at it, right?
- [57:43]
Tyler
Yeah.
- [57:44]
Chris
I look at it like in relationships, like my wife thinks I'm the coolest person in the world. 10 out of 10, everything's like perfect. How do I respond to her, right? And then if I always treat her like that, that's how she shows up. And so I think it's important that we show up. Like we want the opportunities or the people to show up.
- [58:04]
Tyler
Yeah. One of the really fascinating and interesting books I listened to this year was called Imagine the God of Heaven. And it's a lot of people that have had near death experience experiences that had out of body experiences, saw their life in review. And one of the interesting ones was this lady who talked about she Saw her life and all the choices that she made were like ripples in a pond. It had all these effects. And she saw that her life had a path, there was something for her to learn. And all the decisions she made in her life were like these rose compasses that kind of led, but they all ended up leading to the same spot.
- [58:38]
Chris
Spot.
- [58:38]
Tyler
But it didn't really matter how she got there. And she just realized that, that she, no matter what she did, there was something in her life that she needed to go through to learn and that there really wasn't any avoiding it.
- [58:52]
Daryl
Right.
- [58:52]
Tyler
And so she could have done all these different avenues in her life and choices, but they all would have led her through this path where she would have had to learn and grow, and there was just no avoiding it. And I think that's part of letting go of control, is realizing like, hey, God has a plan, right? And all that you can do is be the best version of yourself and accept that, like whatever you can do and, and whatever you're blessed to receive is, is. And accept whatever that path looks like versus trying to, you know, shape that path ourself.
- [59:26]
Daryl
And, and I. What I would interpret that as is like, I think, I think where control goes wrong is when we try to control others rather than control ourselves.
- [59:36]
Tyler
Yeah, right.
- [59:36]
Daryl
Like, I think because. Because what you're saying is like, I just need to control being my best version and, and understand that others are going to be the way they are and things are going to happen for a reason. Yeah, right. And I think where frustration happens in regards to control is like, when I, like, want you, like I want to take away your choice or somebody else isn't, like, get this perfect scenario that I have imagined up in my mind.
- [60:00]
Tyler
Yeah. Yep, I guess. And then one, One other story in that book is about this woman who was in this horrific situation. You know, extreme fear, extreme anxiety. She's in a terrible situation, has this near death experience, looks back at her, her current circumstance, and sees her life in review. And, and her mindset is just like, it's all okay because she sees what's next, which is this amazing, like, glory beyond description. And she ends up coming obviously back into her body and waking up in that situation. And her, her peace and her calm that she felt in that circumstance, even though nothing had changed, she was still back in this exact same horrific. She just knew that in the end it's all okay. It's like her perspective changed to an eternal view where it was like, yeah, like what happens right now doesn't matter because this is what's next. And you know she ended up getting out of the situation all worked out but just that perspective that what really matters is what's next after this life and whatever happens here is love it. Not a big deal.
- [61:10]
Daryl
I love it. Well everybody, Tyler, appreciate you being being on the show. It was a lot of fun just having a good conversation about everything.
- [61:18]
Tyler
Yeah man. Appreciate you guys.
- [61:20]
Daryl
Yeah, yeah. It's look forward to spending the next few days here in Hawaii together. It's going to be a good time. Likewise as a reminder, if you haven't taken a look into our programs, the next level pros, we have coaching, consulting workshops, masterminds, all the goodness that we'd love to help you out and no matter where you're at, business, life, whatever, it's all about the trajectory, trajectory that you on and getting yourself to the next level. Until next time.