Podcast Summary: Next Level Pros – The Strain Every Entrepreneur’s Spouse Feels

Host: Chris Lee
Guests: Daryl and Joanna (entrepreneurial couple)
Date: September 16, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of Next Level Pros takes an authentic look at the unspoken realities faced by entrepreneurs’ spouses and families. Host Chris Lee sits down with entrepreneur Daryl and his wife Joanna for a candid, heartfelt conversation focused on how building businesses impacts marriage, parenting, and personal identity. Drawing on nearly two decades of partnership, Daryl and Joanna offer wisdom, anecdotes, and practical insights—revealing both the challenges and joys of growing a family amid relentless entrepreneurial ambition.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Reality Behind the Facade of the "Perfect" Entrepreneur Family

• Perception vs. Reality:

  • Chris expresses admiration for the couple’s seemingly strong marriage, but Joanna quickly admits, “Yeah, it’s anything but perfect.” [02:51]
  • Joanna shares the highs and lows: “There’s moments where everything’s great … and there’s moments where you’re like, we’re taking on too much.” [04:17]

• Emotional Disconnect:

  • Joanna talks about feeling out of sync: “Sometimes with work for him … I have to cover the rest. So then when we meet together, we’re not as connected.” [03:27-04:12]

2. The Impact of Entrepreneurship on Marriage and Family

• Juggling Roles:

  • When Daryl is consumed with work, Joanna picks up the slack at home—a dynamic familiar to many entrepreneurial households.

• Parenting Highs and Lows:

  • Joanna references a happiness chart: “Adults that have children, their highs were higher and their lows were way lower.” [05:54]
  • Daryl humorously notes, “When you have young kids like that… your life… she must hate life.” [05:40]

• Feeling Lost in Motherhood:

  • Joanna candidly describes losing herself in supporting her children and household: “You lose yourself in this quest of wanting to make your children’s life the best it can be… you stop maybe doing things you’re interested in or forgetting what you might be interested in.” [16:59-18:51]

3. Building Trust, Handling Uncertainty, and Embracing Change

• Early Days of Entrepreneurship:

  • Joanna recalls trusting Daryl’s drive and willingness to try anything—even when entrepreneurship "wasn’t as cool as it is now." [09:58-11:24]
  • Daryl: “When I graduated [in 2008], I realized…I can’t get a job. I have to go figure out how to do this a better way.” [08:58]

• Dealing with Big Moves and Uncertainty:

  • Each child’s birth coincided with a move or new business. Joanna admits, “Moving around was fun when our kids were younger, but it did get to a point where we needed to stay in one spot.” [14:29]

• The Planting Flowers Metaphor:

  • Joanna shares her desire to “plant flowers and see them next year”—a symbol of wanting stability after years of change. [14:37]

• True Joy and Contentment:

  • Despite outward success, Daryl reflects: “On paper…everything I’ve ever wanted, I have. But…you still have to find happiness…it just changes where it comes from.” [15:14-15:51]

4. Rediscovering Self: Hobbies, Health, and Identity

• Finding Herself Again:
  • Joanna shares her journey back to personal interests, including joining a pickleball league and lifting weights with Daryl:
    • “When you start paying attention [to your health], you start noticing other things and fine tuning…” [19:05-20:24]

5. Rules and Principles for Marriage Success

• Never Speak Poorly About Your Spouse:

  • Joanna explains her rule: “If I go tell someone else about my fight with Daryl, they don’t ever hear the resolution…So it doesn’t really do any good.” [20:48-22:08]

• Intentional Home Design / Energy (Feng Shui):

  • Joanna takes pride in creating a “sanctuary” through thought-out home design—a skill honed by years of frequent moves:
    • “I love looking at a room…I can feel how things would just feel better. Not because someone has to buy new things—but because of the size and the placement…” [24:01-25:06]
  • She believes the energy of a home affects the whole family’s well-being: "If I put it back together, it'll help this part of my life." [26:51]

6. Handling Struggles: Mental Health, Relocation, and Postpartum

• Coping With Postpartum Depression:
  • Joanna shares raw details about her severe postpartum depression after her fourth child and how she sought medical testing and support:
    • “I just started paying attention to my health and what I was eating…Joy was easy for me to obtain…and then at this point that just changed. It went away.” [27:51-28:32]

7. Trust, Communication, and Shared Adventure

• Living With Risk:

  • Joanna supports risk-taking: “There’s not much, especially if you’re in the beginning…like, the worst thing that could happen isn’t really that bad.” [30:21]
    • She adds: “I think there’s more to lose not trying.” [31:27]

• Handling Rejection:

  • Joanna recounts a traumatic experience being dismissed by a pediatrician for a personal health choice, but ultimately finds a supportive doctor:
    • “Sometimes when you have like, experiences like that, I just tell myself, like, that really hurt…But because I felt that low…I’m going to feel a high from that experience.” [32:55-33:49]
  • Daryl calls this the “pendulum swing”: embrace the lows, knowing highs will follow. [33:53]

8. Family Culture: Mission, Values, and Parenting

• Mission Statements and Values:

  • The family adopts principles for unity:
    • Mission: “Uplift our lives and the lives of others.”
    • Values (U.P.L.I.F.T.): Unconditional love, Physical well-being, Love of learning, Inspired by Christ, Financial mastery, Trust in the unknown. [39:41-40:12]

• Bringing Kids Into the Culture:

  • Kids were engaged in building family values and symbols—this buy-in strengthens family identity and resilience. [40:12-41:53]

9. Money, Time, and Happiness

• Money as a Tool for Quality Time:
  • Joanna: “It gives us ways to use our time better…if we can…we’re going to pay more money to have a better experience with our time.” [42:53]
  • Daryl’s hack: Tip the hostess to skip long lines because “time is the true value.” [44:04-44:38]

10. Conflict, Negotiation, and Lasting Partnership

• Arguments and Growth:

  • Joanna: “Arguments bring up something that’s not working. A lot of times you do make changes after arguments…usually you renegotiate.” [49:40]
  • Daryl: “Throughout your marriage you have to renegotiate your relationship. It’s not the same…it changes so much.” [50:12-50:22]

• Recognizing Anger’s Message:

  • Chris observes: “Anger is never a primary reaction…it’s a great catalyst for the real conversation we need to have.” [51:34-52:33]

11. Opposites Attract: Harnessing Differences

• Enhancing Through Opposites:

  • Daryl: “Being married can give you an unfair advantage…you become more opposite, which allows you to cover more or do more together.” [55:08]
  • Joanna: “I really thought, like, as a kid, once you got married, you don’t have problems anymore…it’s crazy how much character development happens from marriage.” [56:01]

• Dealing with Big Life Gaps:

  • Joanna describes periods when she and Daryl were living totally different existences: “How could we be in the same relationship and having completely different experiences?” [54:14]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Joanna’s Honesty:

  • “Being an entrepreneur back then wasn’t as cool as it is now.” [09:58]
  • “The worst thing that could happen isn’t really that bad…there’s more to lose not trying.” [30:21, 31:27]

• On Connection:

  • “I have to cover the rest…when we meet together, we’re not as connected.” [03:27-04:12]

• On Family Changes:

  • “The request was: I want to plant flowers and I want to see them next year.” [14:37]

• On Personal Sacrifice:

  • “You lose yourself in this quest of wanting to make your children’s life the best it can be…” [16:59]

• On Money:

  • “We’re going to pay more to have a better experience with our time.” [42:53]
  • Daryl: “When you tip the hostess 100 bucks, you’re basically just cutting in line…there’s always a game involved. That’s what makes it fun.” [44:08, 47:08]

• On Family Mission:

  • “Uplift our lives and the lives of others.” [39:41]

• On Partnership:

  • “I think arguments bring up something that’s not working…and…you renegotiate what’s going on.” [49:40]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening – Perception vs. Reality: [00:00-04:12]
• Juggling Marriage & Parenting: [05:31-07:56]
• Early Entrepreneurial Years: [09:46-11:24]
• Moving with Kids & Seeking Stability: [11:40-15:15]
• Losing and Rediscovering Self: [16:35-20:24]
• Marriage Rules / Not Speaking Poorly: [20:24-22:08]
• Home as Sanctuary & Feng Shui: [24:01-26:51]
• Big Relocations/Postpartum Depression: [27:04-29:03]
• Trust in the Unknown: [29:29-31:27]
• Handling Rejection & The Pendulum Swing: [32:14-34:05]
• Family Values, Mission, and Core Culture: [38:06-41:53]
• Money and Time: [42:53-46:13]
• Marital Conflict, Negotiation, and Growth: [49:40-51:23]
• Learning from Opposites & Living Different Lives: [54:07-56:21]
• Actionable Marriage Best Practices: [56:31-60:56]

Practical Takeaways & Best Practices

For Entrepreneurial Couples:

• Schedule regular check-ins: “What can I help you with today?” [56:44]
• Communicate when and how to reach each other, adjusting for work context (e.g., sales days vs. flexible days). [57:23]
• Find shared rituals—workouts, car rides, casual time together.
• Resolve conflict by talking when emotions cool—silent treatment followed by dialogue can minimize regret. [58:41]
• Celebrate each other’s roles and differences; renegotiation is key at every life stage. [50:12-50:22]
• Share the positives about your business day to prevent your spouse from worrying only about the negatives. [60:20]
• Never badmouth your spouse in front of others; others rarely witness your resolutions. [20:48-22:08]

Final Note

This deeply personal conversation illuminates the hidden strains, personal growth, and unique joys that come from being the spouse of an entrepreneur. Joanna and Daryl’s partnership—marked by honesty, adaptability, and intentional culture—offers a roadmap for other couples navigating the sometimes chaotic but always meaningful adventure of entrepreneurship.