BEST of UNC STORIES Part 2: Type of BABY Unc was like + Rookie HAZING flashbacks

Summary

Nightcap – "BEST of UNC STORIES Part 2: Type of BABY Unc was like + Rookie HAZING flashbacks"

Date: July 23, 2026
Hosts: Shannon Sharpe, Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson, and guests

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Episode Overview

This episode of Nightcap is a continuation of the hosts' deep dive into their UNC (University of Northern Colorado) memories, family dynamics, childhood, and the unforgettable rookie hazing escapades from NFL days. Shannon Sharpe ("Unc"), Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson, and friends blend hilarious storytelling with heartfelt reflection on how tough upbringings, eccentric family members, and locker room shenanigans shaped their worldviews and careers. The episode moves seamlessly between nostalgia, family legend, coming of age in sports, and the often-absurd rites of passage that marked their NFL rookie years.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Family & Childhood Stories

[02:52 – 04:14] "Shannon as the Baby": Loyalty Runs Deep

• Shannon’s underdog story: Ocho and Joe tell how Shannon, despite all odds, "wasn’t supposed to be here," remarking on his surprising eloquence and drive.
  • “He ain’t supposed to be as successful as he is right now. He ain’t supposed to be as articulate as he is, even though sometimes he get his words mixed up and he gets excited... I know what he’s saying.” – Ocho [02:52]
• Family loyalty gets deadly: A dramatic anecdote: “My grandfather was gonna kill his own brother over my brother, that’s how he felt about Shem.” – Ocho [03:32]
• Old-school discipline and grudges: The hosts laugh about how when family feuded, there was no making up: “When they hated. They hated… Ain’t no coming back from that.” – Ocho [04:23]

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Tough Upbringing: Lessons from the Farm

[05:02 – 09:54] "Hard Work & Discipline Makes the Man"

• Carrying wallets & straight razors as essentials: “Two things a man should always carry. A wallet and a straight razor or a gun.” – Ocho [05:14]
• Grinding from a young age: Vivid stories about catching chickens for pennies, working fields at 7 a.m., then going to play sports in the evening but always back in the chicken house at night.
  • “A good night is you carrying six [chickens], three in each hand. Now you want to catch, you had that night you got four in one hand and three in the other.” – Ocho [06:44]
• No complaints, just work: They emphasize that when you don’t know different, that norm isn’t hard; “That norm is okay, man. That norm is not hard. That norm is not difficult.” – Ocho [09:15]
• Food as discipline: “The fact that he was feeding and clothing us… That’s your pay right there.” – Ocho [09:54]

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Sibling Rivalry and Growing Up Broke

[13:09 – 18:20] "Basketball 'Cheating' and Golden Days"

• Sharing everything and brotherly sabotage: Stories of paying each other's bills in the league, fighting over cars, “junkyarding” a Mercedes, and epic basketball games that ended with cheating accusations.
  • “He told a lie...He said he beat me in basketball. He ain’t never beat me in basketball.” – Ocho [16:05]
• Juvenile hustles: Joe recounts how he’d score milkshakes, cheeseburgers, and coin-filled piggy banks from relatives.
• Family games as Super Bowls: “Fourth Sunday…that’s my NBA championship...the best it's gonna get so this gotta to hold us for a month.” – Ocho [18:23]

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Growing Up Country: Guns, Eating Wild, & Rugged Life

[31:31 – 41:42] "Lessons from the Country"

• Guns as part of daily life: Tales of loaded shotguns at age nine, the warning— "Dead is a long time" [32:26]—meant business.
  • “When we grab it, it’s time to go to work. Ain’t cocking nothing, there’s one in the chamber.” – Ocho [32:26]
• Rough entertainment: Rock-throwing games, BB gun bird hunting, and serving up "trophies" on a clothesline.
• Country food: Sharp divides on eating chitlins, raccoon, turtle, and more.
  • “I never ate a chitlin. I've never had a chitlin in my mouth after cleaning them, I was like, no, this is not going down that way.” – Ocho [38:00]
• Fishing hijinks: Throwing fish back to save them, biting fish heads for fun.

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Hazing Flashbacks: NFL Rookies in the Fire

[43:06 – 52:04] "If you’re a rookie, you gonna get got"

• Dorm pranks: Toothpaste on doors, penny-locking teammates in, and trashing rooms with syrup, flour, and feathers.
  • “We filled up all the trash cans with syrup, water, and flour, cut up the pillows and dumped the feathers in there.” – Joe [45:03]
• Goalpost tie-ups and ice baths: Classic rookie rites—tying guys to goalposts and dumping water/Gatorade [45:43]
• The infamous rookie dinners: Stories of first-rounders being run up $22,500 bills—“Make you pay for 150 steaks you didn’t eat.” – Joe [49:02]
  • “$125 a shot...let me get 15 of those. The rookie, Portis and Lily, gonna pay for it.” – Joe [49:43]

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Debating Hazing: Carrying Pads, Donuts, And Breaking Point

[52:31 – 55:14] "When It’s Too Much"

• Ocho took it easy on new guys: “I never made the rookie have to do anything...I was cool about it.”
• Running rookie errands: Fetching chicken, donuts, coffee, and fighting the urge to actually throw hands over unreasonable demands.
  • “I wanted to fight the N-word for real…and I know they couldn’t beat me.” – Joe [53:07]
• Finally saying ‘No more’: “I said I ain’t bringing no more donuts...If they cut me, I’ma whip everybody. Every last one of y’all.” – Joe [53:28]
• Why Big Greasy? “They gave me the name Big Greasy for a reason.” – Joe [55:24]

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

Quote Highlights

• On Shannon’s rise:
  • “He was basically my grandfather’s baby...that’s how he felt about Shannon.” – Ocho [03:00]
• On their upbringing:
  • “We’ve been working, you know, because in the Bible it says, do things not for your human master, but for your heavenly one. But I been working for God all my life.” – Ocho [06:11]
• On hazing:
  • “They messed up so many. We messed up people, computers. I’m sorry, guys. I am so sorry that we messed up your computer, man.” – Joe [45:50]
• On refusing to be bullied:
  • “You do that one more time, bro, I’m gonna beat your ass. And you’re gonna beat me. And I don’t think you can beat me.” – Joe [57:02]

Funniest Moments

• The “junkyarding” of a brand-new SL Mercedes [13:58]
• Sibling brawls over basketball that end with the ball in the hog pen [17:41]
• Eating (or pointedly not eating) wild critters and reminiscing on survival food [38:00]
• Rookie pranks escalating from popcorn in cars to outright threats of violence over donuts [53:28]
• Ocho contemplating wearing an eye patch if his cataract surgery goes wrong: “That’s okay. We know what’s under there. You gonna be like Slick Rick.” [69:13]

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Notable Segment Timestamps

• Shannon the baby & family loyalty: [02:52–04:23]
• Farm work, chicken house, and lessons from the country: [05:02–09:54, 31:31–41:42]
• Basketball cheating and sibling rivalry: [16:05–18:20]
• Rookie hazing stories (dorms, penny-lock, rookie dinners): [43:06–52:04]
• Hazing pushback & ending the madness: [53:07–55:24]
• Physical rookie altercations: [56:07–57:17]
• Eye surgery comedy/skirmish: [66:27–69:33]

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Tone & Style

The episode is packed with warmth, mischief, and brutal honesty. Ocho and Shannon riff off each other like true siblings: sentimental one moment, clowning each other the next. The dialogue is often rapid-fire and full of regional flavor, Southernisms, and the kind of inside jokes that only come from years in the trenches together.

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Recap & Takeaway

Nightcap’s UNC Stories Part 2 delivers uproarious, revealing tales about humble beginnings, harrowing and hilarious family lessons, and the sometimes-absurd, always-unpredictable world of NFL rookie hazing. Listeners are treated to a masterclass in barbershop storytelling—where pride, pain, and pranks coexist, and life’s hardest times end up the most golden in the rearview.

For listeners who missed it:
You'll come away with a new respect for Shannon's journey, the wild South Georgia upbringing, and why even the richest pro athletes can’t escape “rookie treatment.” You may even find yourself wishing you'd been there, dodging rocks and wringing chicken necks—or at least penny-locking a future Hall of Famer in his dorm room.

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Transcript

[Chelsea Handler]

This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. Every week the news gets worse, the world gets crazier, and Yamanika is here to tell whoever's responsible, you're the problem.

[Yamaneika Saunders]

Do you know I just found out who Sydney Sweeney was? If he got a bunch of women, then I should have a bunch of men do better or do less so I don't have to do so much. I'm Yamanika, and I'm out. Listen to youo're the Problem With Yamanika on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Nick Turturro]

I'm Nick Turturro. You probably know me from NYPD Blue, the Longest Yard, or Spike Lee's blackkklansman. And on my new podcast, Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, I deliver pizza to a new guest. I've shared a slice with everyone from Seth Rollins.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

What are you doing?

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

My belt.

[Nick Turturro]

To Bill Burr.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am.

[Nick Turturro]

And now we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Turturro. It's called Happiness, Delivering Happiness and many, many more. Open your free iHeartradio app, search Happiness with Nick Turturro and listen Now.

[Lele Pons]

My first guest is Paris Hilton. Shakira, Luke and Yerim have surprises.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Many surprises.

[Lele Pons]

Welcome to the Sweet 305 podcast where the group chat comes to life.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

What up?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

You're the only person I know that

[Lele Pons]

loves a yellow Starburst.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

It's lemonade.

[Lele Pons]

This is Sweet305. Here, oversharing is encouraged. Listen to Sweet305 with Lele Pons on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Hey, Portlandia fans, Kerry Brownstein and Fred Armisen here, the dream of the 90s

[Fred Armisen]

is alive in podcast form.

[Kerry Brownstein]

We're launching AO Rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made.

[Fred Armisen]

And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators and friends, including director Jonathan Krisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Kyle is going for it. Here you fully improvised, not just words, but a song about.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Well, I thought you were all going

[Chelsea Handler]

to write a song.

[Kerry Brownstein]

I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia AO rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ari Chambers]

What's up Fam, I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers.

[Sam J]

Hey, what's up, y'?

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

All?

[Sam J]

It's your girl, Sam J.

[Ari Chambers]

And we're the host of Everyone Watches Women's Sports, a new podcast from Together and I heart women's sports.

[Sam J]

We're breaking down the biggest headlines.

[Ari Chambers]

Naomi Osaka showing out shout outs to you, Naomi. The viral moments.

[Sam J]

I've been obsessed with Chrisean Rock's boxing journey.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

She looks good.

[Sam J]

Her combos are swift.

[Ari Chambers]

And the stories everyone's talking about across

[Sam J]

women's sports because everyone watches women's sports listen to Everyone watches women's Sports on

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

[Sam J]

you get your podcast.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

So, you know Shannon, Shannon, you know, as the baby. Shannon, Shannon, I am probably more proud of what he turned into because Joe, he wasn't supposed to be. He ain't supposed to be there. He ain't supposed to be where he is right now. He ain't supposed to be as successful as he is right now. He ain't supposed to be as articulate as he is, even though sometimes he get his words mixed up and he gets excited and they don't come out right. It's okay. I know what he's. I know what he talked. Hey, Ocho. I know what he's saying. I. I know what he's saying, but he. He was. For that time. He got enough of what that time was, man. It's. It's. It is. And. And these stories are. These are just a few of the stories. I mean, when my. My grandfather was gonna kill his own brother over. Over my brother, that. That's how he felt about Shem. That's how he was a ba. He was basically my grandfather's baby. Even though my uncle James is his baby boy. That's how he felt about Shannon. So he was gonna kill him.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

No, he didn't.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

He's gonna kill his brother. He's gonna kill his brother over Shannon. Yeah, he was gonna kill his brother over Shannon. That's. That's how.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

And he left, Ocho. He left. Check this out. He left his way. He tell you he left. He never came back. And when my grandfather died, he wasn't going to church.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. That is. Yes, sir. Now I'm talking about that. It's kind of funny, you know, spiritual as they were, man. Look, when they hated. They hated when they were angry. But there was no. I'm sorry. Ain't no coming back from that. That, you know, because they hold for what you saying, man.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

They.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Yeah, my My. I'm trying to think.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Granny wasn't like.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

No, Granny was totally.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

They would have told. I don't know how they got together, because they were the total.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

That's why.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Now Granny would get.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

That's why.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

But she wasn't like, yeah, my grandpa. Yeah, Papa. You never, you never saw him without that. 45 in his back pocket. You never saw him, too.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

She's carrying strike razor, too. Yo.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Hey, boy.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Hey. Two things a man should always carry. A wallet and a straight razor or a gun. That's the two things. A wallet or a straight razor or a gun.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I was five. I was five years old. Ocho had a wallet, had a bill for it in his pocket.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

And because we were robbing him, he didn't know it. He started carrying a chain on his wallet. Cause we were taking money out to buy ice cream. Hey, I'm telling y' all this. I've already asked for forgiveness. So I'm telling y', all, Let y' all know I've already had. Already asked God for forgiveness. But, man, you know what, Joe? Ocho, fellas, I, I will say this. You know, a lot of people can pinpoint one or two things. I, I, I, I don't think I'm here, you know, getting the chance to play golf all over the country. Getting a chance to enjoy my NFL friends, my celebrity friends. Without that upbringing, I, I don't think I'm here. I don't think that that discipline of I'm. We've been working, you know, because in the Bible it says, you know, do things not for your human master, but for your heavenly one. But I've been working for God all my life. Because the way Barney Porter had you do stuff, oh, God had to be pleased with the work we did. God was thoroughly pleased with the work we did because that's how we was raised. There wasn't a number.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

How much, how much do we make for catching chickens?

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

A$1000. So if there was 14,000 chickens in there, Let me see. Me, me, Shannon, Arnell, Eugene, Lanny, Robbie, Bernard. So the seven of us had, you know, 10 had 12, 13, 14. Every now and then we get a 18. We love getting 18. 19,000 chicken house, because that's $19 in our po. We getting up in there, bro. And a couple of the older guys from Claxton were catchers, so they were catch. So a good night, Ocho Joe. A good night is you carrying six, three in each hand. Now you want to catch. Hell, you had that night where you got four in one hand and three in the other. And I'm talking about you like, 12, 13, 14, 15. Bro. You. I'm like, weight strong has never bothered me. That ain't never been a problem. And. But that, that's that upbringing, man. Because you didn't go in there going, oh, man, I hope Uncle James. I hope Uncle James or I hope Earl don't come tonight, man. Nah, bro. We were like, we need to get it. We need to get this money if we plan on getting, you know, because we used to get jeans back in the day, but they were all blue, they were all the same size. They were all the same length. So regardless, if you had six pair of jeans, they were identical. So. So, so you didn't wear them out so, so bad. Joe, I'm telling you.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

But, but, but we come chickens, that's after you don't work in the field.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

I mean, you don't win.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

You don't win. You don't got that seven. Got in the field at seven, got home at five. You ate. Hey, we go play basketball. Sit back down, because it. Cause they're gonna come get you when it comes.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Now we ain't playing now, now, now.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Black share by day.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Yeah. He ain't playing basketball down at direct. That's me and him out in the yard working on.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Yeah.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

And then, because, you know, back in the day, you had to wait till it got dark to kick, so chickens would all gather in one spot. So, you know, we getting picked up at 9, 9:30, depending on where we were going. Get picked up at 9:30, 10 o' clock at night. And then we in the house, in the chicken house by 11, and we. We need to get up out of there by 11 30. We need to be in the car on the truck, you know, getting back to the house, because we got seven o'.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Clock.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

We got seven o'. Clock. Yeah. Mr. Joe. The Tatum brothers.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Are we gonna. Are we gonna go in the back the fields again? Oh, we was doing.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Doing school too. Yeah, we had to get. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

So that means y'.

[Sam J]

All.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Y' all had to be sleepy.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Well, Shannon was. As you can tell. Shannon was sleeping. He was sleeping. I. I was not sleep. Ocho. But. But the thing is, man, and I'm gonna say this again, when you don't know any better. That's all right. That. That Norm is okay, man. That Norm is not hard. That Norm is not difficult. I don't ever remember us complaining about it being too hot. I don't. I mean, because you gotta understand, in the tobacco field, you got on long sleeves. You got on blue jeans and long sleeves in the chicken house.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

And a hat on your head to keep it.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

And the chicken house, you got on blue jeans and long sleeves. So everything. Keep your chicken.

[Nick Turturro]

Yeah.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Cause so. So, you know, when you don't know any better, that ain't nothing wrong with this. Because, I mean, we. Because when my grandfather was alive, we were working for Barney Porter. The fact that he was feeding and clothing us, as he used to say all the time. That's. That's your pay right there.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

That's your pace.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Yeah, yeah. You know, that sound like.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

They sound like Denzel and fences.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Yes,

[Sam J]

he's.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

That's what.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

That's exactly what he said. That's a good one.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

You're not gonna get no pay. I feed you.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

And he's. And he's.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

And clothing you and put a roof over your head. You know what? You said something earlier. You said, you proud of me because I wasn't supposed to be here. Tell them what granny used to tell me every day.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Which part? Because first of all, somebody was going to get him in that glob of mouth is so they were. Somebody. He end up going to kill him. Yes, somebody gonna kill him. And then, you know, and even, you know, I'm gonna say it. When he, you know, his senior year, when he. He was all this and all that, and. And you know, they weren't calling or coming to see him. I wasn't worried about him because I was like, if this, you know, and I wasn't in college to go to the NFL. I was in college because that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to play pro football, and that's what I had to do. But Joe, which is really. Fellas, which is really crazy, is when I got drafted, bro. The draft came on and the phone rang. So, you know, I'm in the car headed to the airport. When he got drafted, the first day went by and we were over at our good friend Melville and Jim Bower, Peter and Michael Bolwer's mom and great family. I just saw Jim and Melville the other day. As a matter of fact, Jim told me to tell you hello. We were over at their house. So when we get back to my house, he's disappointed and he's hurt. So we get up the next morning, we go over to the University of South Carolina to work out. I'm like, bro, let's just go get it in. So we ended up working out, and the whole time I'm driving down There telling me, but I just want a chance, man. I just, I just want a chance, man. So he's gone from I should be in the first three rounds to I just want a chance. Well, to me, I didn't care, because I'm like, bro, you gonna live like I live whether you make it or not. You know, I know you want to play and you want to establish your own. I got that. But, bro, you see what I'm driving. You already dropped. Hold on. He had a Mercedes before I did, so he was in the NFL, and, and, you know, since we putting each other's business in the street, bro, I paid Shannon bills in the NFL until my daughter was born, so he was in the NFL, and I was.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Man, when I told you about Dry snitch, it ain't nobody asked you that,

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

you know, hey, hey, hey, I told. Hey, I have told you, girl, you started it. That's why Libby don't want you writing a book, because, see, Libby would have to come out with all this. And you know, the first story Libby gonna tell is stealing the the ring, saying it's your fire truck.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Hey, y' all try to get mad.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

I didn't care, you know, at that time. I know, you know, I know how important it was to him, but I didn't care because I was like, brother, where I live, however I'm living, you gonna live the exact same way, bro. This ain't me living this way. And you gonna be over in a, in a mobile home. And there ain't nothing wrong with a mobile home if that's how you prepared to live. But I was just gonna make. He was my brother and what we had gone through together, bro, whatever I got. And I mean, he'll tell you, bro, I had one. I had the first SL convertible in the state of South Carolina. My brother wrecked it. No, he didn't.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Baddies going by, Ocho,

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

fellas, he didn't wreck it. He junkyarded it is what he said. What he did was, is he ran into someone and hit the Mercedes emblem and snatched the Mercedes emblem out the grill. So he calls me and he goes, hey, man, I, I junkyard your stuff, man. Wait, what? Yeah, Brad, junkyard your stuff, man. What? What are you talking about? Your car, man? I, I, I, I wrecked it. You. You wrecked my, my new car? Yeah. I said, well, that's all right, bro. We get it, you know?

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

You all right?

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Yeah, yeah, I'm good. You coming back? No, no, I'm gon more days, like, boy,

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

you know, hey, you can't you kept driving it.

[American Express Advertiser]

Yeah,

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

man, I'm in a convertible sl. Brand new, man. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Joe. Oh, and they sitting on the back of it like they in the parade, too.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Hey, Joe. Joe. Hey, man. Hey. So. So. Well, man, you know, just come on back, you know. You coming back today? Oh, no, man. I'm gonna stay a few more days, man. I'm just gonna come back, you know, when it's old. Because you know I'm gonna come back when it's old. Oh, you're gonna come back when? When the party over Black Holly, Spring break. Okay,

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

and then that lead, right. Hey, Joe, didn't that lead right in the freaknick? See, he ain't tell you, but he with me with Freaknick, though. He's like, man, this is for me, though. I see this.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Yeah, I can't.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Hey, Joe. I was like, hey, hey, boys.

[Nick Turturro]

Yeah,

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

I'm building a name for myself, and I don't need my name over here. That's what I didn't need. I need my babe over here. But no, Joe, hey, growing up with this dude, man, it was. Hey, Joe. He. He told a lie, and I like to call out lies. He said he beat the time he beat me in basketball. He ain't never beat me in basketball.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I beat him, Joe.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Hey, hold on, hold on, Og. How bad you used to do it?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Okay, so.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

So, Joe, you. Okay, so you ISO. Joe. I used to ISO. Back in the day now. So. Hey, hey, hey, Joe. Joe. I was bigger than him, so of course I'm going in the post. So just so I could. We could get. Make the game go longer. I kind of can't play him hard. So what he figured out was if he. If he score first, I'm gonna win the game. So what he started doing was he would score and then run in the house and be like, man, I beat

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

that big old joke.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

I can't believe that big joke. I'm beating it. So. So now, Joe, I'm hot. So now I got to go in. You know, I got to go in the house, yo.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Right?

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Hey, Ojo, you know, he. He doesn't. He. So he. I gotta let him score because now I got to work on my moves because we ain't playing organized sports in high school. We only playing me and him. So I gotta let him score. So he score one nothing. So, you know, he go to take it out. He dribbled it two times. He take off running to the house. I beat that big old joker.

[Yamaneika Saunders]

I can't believe.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

You ain't gonna never. You ain't gonna never play on anybody team, Joe. Boy, that joke used to have me so hot.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Did I lose, Joe? I thought I throw the ball in the hog pin. He go in there, tell Granny, like a. Like a tattletale Granny. That boy threw the ball in the hog pin. Him.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Y' all done. Yo, Granny would be like, y' all done playing. Well, no, he threw the ball in the hog pin. You know what? Somebody gonna either hit that boy in his old big mouth or they gonna kill him. That's what they gonna. No, Granny, I'm gonna kill him.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I'm gonna be the one to kill him.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Hey, hey, hey, hey. When you think back to them days, bro, like, those are like golden days. Golden times, when you think back, because they mold you into the people who y' all are. I totally understand those type of.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

You know,

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

in the times, especially in the last year or so, having to go back and think about, you know, us growing up, they were so special, Joe. Because at the time, you're thinking, this is all we gonna ever be able to do. You know, we never gonna be able to play organized sports. You know, we're never gonna be able to really fulfill what talent we think we got. So, you know, man, let me tell you, you want to see some moves? You should have been there on fourth Sunday when all of us are together playing dodgeball or kickball or softball. Man, look, you talking about athletic, bro. Bro, athletic was. I mean, was an understatement for us, just because it was one. It was. It was literally once a month that we got a chance to do it. And, you know, those times are real special because you like, this is my NBA championship. This is my Super Bowl. This is my MLB championship. You know, this is the. This is the best it's gonna get. So this is gonna have to hold on for a month. So we gotta put together this type of energy and effort because it's gotta hold us for a month. So, yeah, it was very special times back then. Very special, man.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

You realize it's now that we sit down and we call and we think about. Think back to being in those saplings. And Granny would say, boy, y', all, stop bending them saplings. Them trees. They go, y' all gonna break them. They ain't gonna be able to grow. And we sitting on there. We come over, so you better not have to take them clothes off. You got red bugs on you, probably. And that. We sit back and think about it. Joe. And no, Joe, it's like.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

And.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

And every Time. And like he said, you know, he would. You know, we fight and everything. And I would tell my grandma, My grandma never punished him. She'd say, son, we never really fought.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

It was usually two licks pass. I hit you, you start crying. And that was pretty much the end of it, you know? And then I feel bad. Cause I'm peeking on a weaker kid and I'm gonna need him again tomorrow. Cause we gonna be right back out there on the court tomorrow. So I can't punish him, but I gotta let him know what he doing, right?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Only for him, he was cheating, Ocho.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

He was cheating.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

How I get him, though? I let him do something. I let him do something. And then I threatened to go tell papa. He know that'd be the end of it. Cause so when he cut me on my thigh with the jeans, he had a. He had a knife and he was sharpening. He was sharpening chainsaw fire. He sharpened on that chainsaw file. Man, that thing was so. So he's like, let me see how sharp my knife is. So I went and put on two pair of shorts, a pair of jeans. Joe, man, that joker, he hit me with it. And I. I re. I said, dang, it started tingling and

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

I. I felt with it down to the white. And I saw blood down to the white.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Joe. I said, yeah, I gotta tell papa.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

No, you don't. Hey, Joe, Joe, no, you don't. That's why I got this. I got this cut right here. Cause I had to let him cut me back so he wouldn't go and wrap me.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Yeah, y' all had to cut me back.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Yeah, that joker, that would never.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Hey, Ocho, what kind of fool is this? You cut me and I take that

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

would have never made it.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I get a cut. I got a two dollar bill and I got two.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

He would have never made it in the mall. That joker was. Boy, he'd been giving us both left and right. He would have never made it.

[American Express Advertiser]

But there's nothing like my American Express platinum card. I love that I can earn hotel credits when I travel. I can also earn resi credits. So, you know, I'm hitting the restaurants everyone's talking about. Plus, with the digital entertainment credit, I'm even more excited to catch my favorite shows. All in all, I can access over 3500 dol in annual value with benefits and eligible purchases across travel, entertainment and more. Learn [e-mail] Explore Platinum Enrollment Requirements monthly and other limits and terms apply.

[Ari Chambers]

What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers.

[Sam J]

Hey, what's up, y'?

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

All?

[Sam J]

It's your girl, Sam J.

[Ari Chambers]

And we're the host of Everyone Watches Women's Sports, a new podcast from Together. And I heart women's sports because, let's

[Sam J]

be real, women's sports is giving us way too much to talk about these days.

[Ari Chambers]

So Kelsey Finler, she became the first female solo rower to go from California to Hawaii.

[Sam J]

My first thought is just like, what's up with the snacks? Like, what are we?

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

What are we eating?

[Ari Chambers]

The highlights, the rivalries, the breakout stars, the moments that take over your entire

[Sam J]

timeline, and the conversations that start during the game and somehow keep going all week. Every week, we're breaking down the biggest stories across women's sports.

[Ari Chambers]

Naomi Osaka showing out. She beat Sabalenka.

[Sam J]

Shout outs to you, Naomi, you get the palm.

[Ari Chambers]

Naomi, you get the palm for that.

[Sam J]

Because we're not just interested in what happened. We're interested in why everyone's talking about it. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to everyone watches women's Sports on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Fred Armisen]

Hey, Portlandia fans.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Kerry Brownstein and Fred Armisen here, you

[Fred Armisen]

know us, or rather, you know them. Tony and Candace, Nina and Lance, Spike and yes, the chicken.

[Kerry Brownstein]

We've played a lot of iconic characters over the years, but today we're showing up as ourselves to tell you about Podlandia. Ao rewatch our brand new podcast.

[Fred Armisen]

Each week, we'll revisit an episode of Portlandia from the very beginning, breaking down the sketches, exploring the backstories of our most iconic characters, revisiting the Portland locations you know and love, and opening up about our creative process.

[Kerry Brownstein]

How did any of this get made? Why do we think that was a good idea? We're ready to talk about it.

[Fred Armisen]

And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Krisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Kyle is going for it. Here you fully improvised not just words, but a song.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Well, I thought he was gonna write. I thought you were all gonna write a song.

[Kerry Brownstein]

I remember you thinking that.

[Fred Armisen]

Listen to Podlandia.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Ayo.

[Fred Armisen]

Rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Lele Pons]

My first guest is Paris Hilton, Shakira, Luke and Yerin Samira e Gracie. I'm so excited.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

On the bouncy bed, you have surprises, many surprises.

[Lele Pons]

Welcome to suite 305, where the group

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

chat comes to life.

[Lele Pons]

Whatever.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Hola, amiga. Hola, mejo amiga.

[Nick Turturro]

Hola.

[Lele Pons]

What up?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

You're the only person I know that

[Lele Pons]

loves a yellow Starburst.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

It's Lemonade

[Sam J]

Persona.

[Lele Pons]

This is suite 305. Listen to suite 305 with Lele Pons as part of my Cultura podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. Every week the news gets worse, the world gets crazier, and Yamanika is here to tell whoever's responsible, you're the problem.

[Yamaneika Saunders]

If you come over here to play games, I' ma check you. Okay? If you do some in the news that don't sound good, I'mma play you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Join Yamanika Saunders as she breaks down the week's most problematic stories on her new podcast. You're the Problem with Yamanika.

[Yamaneika Saunders]

Do you know? I just found out who Sydney Sweeney was.

[Chelsea Handler]

New episodes weekly every Wednesday as part of my new network, the Dear Chelsea Network.

[Yamaneika Saunders]

If he got a bunch of women, then I should have a bunch of men do better or do less so I don't have to do so much.

[Chelsea Handler]

So join Yamaneika each episode as she answers one question. Who's the problem?

[Yamaneika Saunders]

I'm Yamaneika, and I'm out. Listen to youo're the Problem with yamaneika on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Yeah, Joe, hold on. You think I would let that man cut me? And I can't get no cut back.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Damn. Hey. He said, you gotta get your gift back.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

No matter what he did me, I stuck a pig fork in his leg. He took it and stuck it right back in my league.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Y' all don't understand. There is no right or wrong. When it got to Barney Porter's desk, all parties involved were wrong. There ain't no. Well, you shouldn't have it. No. Y' all both getting it and. And just to keep from getting it, like. Like he used to be, like, hey, y' all get out of bed on Saturday morning. Y' all get up. I ain't raising no lazy youngins. Y' all get up and watch the sunrise.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

But what we had to get up.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

What they had to get up Watch the sunrise.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I told oo oo yeah, y' all boys get up.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Y' all boys get up and watch the sunrise. I ain't raising those lazy young like, oh, Lord. Hey,

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

hey, hey. Y. Y' all ain't have it when. When your grandma used to Tell you go out there and give me that switch, and you better.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

No, sir. We never. We were never that lucky. But we were never that lucky. Hey, our. Our grandparents were equal opportunists. They did their own hunting. They did their own scalping. They did their own switch getting, bruh. And no, because they knew we wasn't gonna come back with nothing of significance. They already knew us that well, so, you know, we ain't never had to go get our own. But then. But then, too, around our house, you get hit with anything I'm talking about, you'd be like, I'm looking at this light cord right here, and I don't know how many times the light cord got snatched out. And I'm like, can't really do that.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Hey, hold up, og. For real, like, I'm telling y', all, man. I seen my cousins. Them get beat with stitching cords. I'm talking about. I'm talking about. Look, look, they get whooped so bad,

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

I ain't even get hit.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

And I'm crying.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

You crying Cause you don't want.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Now you crying cause you don't want to get hit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've been. We've been down that road.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Yeah, we were. See, the thing is, is if somebody got in trouble, we all got in trouble. If. If he did it, we got in trouble because we older and we let him do so. We all got it. I mean, there was a. There was a line.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

You know what I said, O Joe. That's how I get.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

There was a line.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Y' all don't want me to tell Papa is go coach you.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

There was a. There was a. Yeah, that.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

The girl gets. The girl got suspended. Somebody got suspended. They got suspended from school, huh? Oh, who got suspended? Oh. Cause you don't know. Well, you better not tell Barney Porter you got suspended for school. So they got to get on the bus just like they going to school. Get so. And drop off and just walk around, the whole.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Walk around downtown until school is out,

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

get back on the bus and come back home. Well, you had to pay for my. Had to pay for my secrecy, right? You don't pay, Ocho.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

I should have kept. Hey, Ocho.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Hold on.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

How much, Ocho? In 1975. 76. January. I should have killed him way back then. Cause, bro, that joker. But it was just like, you were in constant. It was like you were constantly nervous. Because, see, the thing was, is, everything I did, I did with him, right? Yeah, but he never got the punishment. Like. Like, not one time. Like, you Know he did it. I was just. But you let him do so. Come here. Because you. You let him.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I was his response.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

How am I gonna let him.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Granny used to make him take. He wanted to go date. Granny said you got to take.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

How am I going. How am I gonna keep him from setting granny garden on fire? He imagined the wind blowing at 700 miles an hour. We don't know what could happen. But you gonna blame me, so. So I'm walking around the truck because I'm trying to explain myself to him because I don't deserve to be down. See, this is what happened. So I'm walking around the truck. My sister knows that the more my grandfather walked behind me, the madder he gets. So she's just, like, gonna make the decision that I should just go catch him, hold him so he can get this over with. Cause the more he walk away, the harder it's gonna get worse.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

So you had to tell me. I made a good little come up. I had a good little hustle, Ocho. Plus, they were dating. You know, my Aunt Mary, now she passed away, she was the one. And she would always take me with her, but she already knew. Large milkshake, cheeseburger, fries. Leave me in the car. Wind the hat part down. I'm cool.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

She comes home with this piggy bank. Well, it's a smiley face, smiley face. And so she would put the spare change that she came across in there, but it was for him. So I should have killed him for the money back then, but I didn't. There was, you know, and it's tragic in. In some ways just thinking about all, like, we would get a gun. We would get the, you know, the shotgun or the 12 gauge or the. 30, 30. And we would, hey, Granny, we going hunting. She'd be like, y' all be careful. That was. That was the. Like every.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Every gun we had loaded. There was never. There was never. And it never dawned on us like, you hear, kids, somebody had an accident. He told you, no time.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

This ain't nothing is a long time. That's what he told me. He said, hey, hey, boy. Dead is a long time. He said, so if you go messing with. He has.45, his army.45 on the seat. He go, if you go messing with this right here, dead is a long time. Now, I ain't know what that meant, but I understood that that gun was not to be touching. And when you talk about our guns being loaded, I'm talking about one in the chamber. We ain't cocking nothing. When we Grab it. It's time to go to work. Yeah, we ain't cocking. It's in. There's one in the hole. As we grew up then we were. We learned how to swim. We all got thrown in the same clay hole. Hey, hey, I'm throwing you in. Get yourself out.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

But that was the thing, Joe.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

We.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

It never dawned on us to go get a gun and play with it because he had. First of all, if somebody told that somebody went and got a gun, you

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

gonna die anyway or wish you were dead.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Man, look here. But like, like. And when papa died, the gun still what was left? Because my uncle James took some of them. But the guns were still loaded. I was nine, ten years old, Joe. I go get the shotgun, I go get the rifle and go down there and try to kill squirrels or shoot the birds or whatever. Whatever I could at 9 years old, what, 19 year old, you know. Now to go just get a good. Go get a shotgun, go get a rifle and just walk off and go shoot it.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

It depends depending on where you live. You got to be in the country with nobody, with nobody around where the next house is miles away. That's about the only place. Yes.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Oh, and the chickens. Oh, we got into trouble. Hey, they could have said. They could have. They could have ruined me because I killed Papa Bodrock boy.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

They were throwing them rocks. But you know, let me tell you something now. Let me tell you something. My brother should have been. My brother should have been a baseball player, Joe. He should have been a baseball player

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

because what I was accurate with that ball. That was that rock, Joe.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Yeah, hold on, I gotta tell the story. But one day we came up with the idea for entertainment. We in the row outside the house is dirt road, so it's grass, you know, all the rocks. So och, we come up with the thing. He About 30, 40 yards away. So we throwing rocks at each other. You know, we trying to hit each other. But this is our entertainment, bro. This is our entertainment. So we trying to hit each other. So I think once or twice I might have got him on the leg or on the waist. So, bro, we thrown probably 6, 700 rocks trying to hit each other. So I'm down trying to pick up a rock. And you know how you get that? That, that, that. The hairs on the back of that weird feeling, Joe. I looked up, I was like in slow. It was coming in slow motion with nothing I could do but take it. Hey, it was. It was one of the only times I ever quit a competition. It was one of the only times I ever quit a competition, Jo, I was like, man, it was. I was trying to find, you know, you trying to get that rock that you can get that. That index finger so you can get that spin.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Yeah.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

And I was down there looking for it. When I looked up, it was like in slow motion. What? Nothing I could do, Joe.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I could. Joe, I could kill birds with a rock. They'd be. They'd be sitting on a branch.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Yeah, that joker had it, that Daisy air rifle.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

How long I had that BB gun. Swaggy.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Years old. There's got to be fit. It's got to be 50 years old.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Damn.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

I'm saying it's got to be 50.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I would have the birds lined up on the clothesline.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Yeah, it's got to be 50. I'm 61. It's got to be 50 years old. It's got to be 50 Years old. But let me tell you, Joe's about this long. That was Eddie Oakley and all the other great shots. That joke. That's one thing he can do with that BB gun, dog. If it was out there, he brought it.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I'm coming back. I all coming back with blue jays, red cardinals.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Thank God there was none. Thank God there was none on the endangered species list because he was killing them all. You kill the caring them all, dog. No, he was just putting it on the clothesline.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I put him on the clothesline so they can see him.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Trophies.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Trophies.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Hey, the cardinal. But that's one pre.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Yeah, my brother had a bunch of them on the clothesline. Blue jays, a bunch of the robins.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Oh, y' all telling you, when I come back. Oh, I got my. I got.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

My team called the robins. We used to call them old red belly robins. Yeah, he used to have the clothesline. Yeah, he used to have a clothesline full of it.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

You can eat a robin, though. Ocho and Joe. You can eat a robin. Yeah, more big red belly, big fat ones.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Yeah, that's another thing, too.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I was trying to get a squirt. I was trying to get quail, but I couldn't smell.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

That's another thing, too. He talk about all the stuff he ate. I. I ain't. I didn't partake in. In a lot of the stuff that he ate because I was if like chitlins. I never ate a chitlin. I've never had a chitlin in my mouth after cleaning them, I was like, no, this is not going down that way. We're not doing that. Hog maw.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Yeah.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Pig feet. I never. Okay. Raccoons, squirrels. Yeah, I've never eaten apostle. I ain't never partake in that. I. I'm not he bougie.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Okay, do it out. Like what?

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

You like the people? Do you like the people across the river? Do it out.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Do it out. Okay, I will eat. Hey, Joe. I will eat. Nah, I ain't like no chitlins. I ain't like no hog, Mo. But I eat some livers a lot. I eat pig ears. I eat pigtail. Pig feet.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Meat.

[Nick Turturro]

Yeah.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

I'll eat collards. I'm not eating mustard green. Nope. Not gonna.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

No, I don't like.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

I'm not gonna do that.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I don't like rutabaggers, Joe.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

If I. If I can't wait, that's what I got to eat. Is that. Or cornflakes. I'll take the carnation instant milk. I will mix it in water, and I will eat me some corn flakes.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Yeah, but you. You at. You ate that alligator turtle.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

I tried it, and I was like, yep, never. I promised God never again.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Alligator turtle. Oh, by big.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Oh, y' all call the alligator?

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Yeah. Well, you. Well, you got a soft shell, which is. I mean, it's.

[Kerry Brownstein]

It's a.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

His shell like leather. It's real smooth. They streamline long. Got a long, pointy nose. That's a soft shell. And then you got the alligator. Snapping turtle.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Yeah, it got.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Got a tail like. It got a ridge like an alligator.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

How you cook it?

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

How you cook? Hey, hey, Take them out of the shower. That's a conversation y' all need to have when I'm gone, because I don't need to know that. I don't even know how to. Yeah, we ain't eating that.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Hey, if we go fishing, Joe, we go fishing and we catch it, because we're gonna have to clean them. We throwing the fish back greatest. Yeah, I see y' all throwing the fish.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Well, she must have called about 200 look like in that bucket. But me and Shannon. Me and Shannon were throwing them on the bank. Save yourself, fishes. Save yourself. They were flopp. Tried to get back in that water. Grain was like, I know this ain't throwing them fish back. It shows what you.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Yeah, ain't nobody tried to clean all the damn.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

I promised God when I left Georgia not cleaning another one. I'm not cleaning another one.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

And then we get together with our cousins, and we came up with this bright idea that the little fish, we gonna bite the head off and throw it back in the water.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

What y' all gotta understand it's entertainment, man. It was entertained. It was entertainment. But whatever you need to do to entertain yourself, we did it.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Hey, hold on. So you bit the head of the

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

fish off and threw it back in the water? Yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Okay. Okay.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Damn.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

That's how it all started, huh?

[American Express Advertiser]

Okay.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

That's the only fish I had him about. Don't say you go, Ocho.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

See, I know where you go.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Hey, listen, I'm keeping pg. I mean, we, we got, we got, we got, we got OG on.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

No, these came out of the water. Yeah, these, hell, you had them on the end of a hook, so. Nah, I. I see where you're going, but. No, we ain't going there. Yeah, but now, man, baby, man, thanks

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

for stopping by, giving us a few

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

minutes of time, man.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

You good. You good, though? You need anything?

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

I mean, you know, you know, I'm retired, man. Old Po Hussick are using some. Hey, Joe, I. I see. You know, I see the show Nightcap doing good. I was like, well, I think the show doing good. And then they were like, yeah, I. So Joe gonna be joining us? I was like, I. I saw Joe joining the show forever, man, you know, and then I'm looking around his neck, and now I see jewels around his neck, Joe, you know, I see the. I. I see. You see. Hey, Joe, this is what we used to have is right here. We used to just.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Yeah,

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

that guy stole when they.

[Nick Turturro]

Bro,

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

that's what we used to have, Joe. But, but as you can see, you know, nightcap, club, shade doing real well, so.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Oh, yeah, you know.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Yeah.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

I don't want to get rid of my 8, 4 because this is the only. You know, I've had this since I just the first thing I bought when I got drafted and. But, but I. I like what bro got around his neck. I don't want the chain. I just want what it costs. But the chain costs. I take the money, you know, and do what I want to do with it.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Hey, hey, hey.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

He come a long way from the farm, man. That man got petites on, AP's on.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Hey, Joe, Joe, he got really good memory, but that joke ain't been back near the farm in about 400 years. I think we were all slaves last time. That joke been back then.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Nah, I ain't been home last time I've been home.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Did you come back after granny funeral?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Probably 2013, 2014. When Kiara graduated, I stopped by.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Yep, yep, yep.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Hey, we gotta. We gotta get out. We gotta get out there, man. We gotta go you know we gotta go hunting now.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

I'm not going.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Hey, what I will do, I'll hunt with my golf ball. If I do get it out of the fairway. But that's about as much hunting as I'm doing. I ain't looking for nothing that day. Anything out there. Living in the wild, you good with me. And we pray, a prank.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

So everybody, man, I. I brag about six or seven tools of toothpaste. Cause in the morning, I'm gonna wake up in the morning, and I'm gonna put toothpaste on somebody door. So when they walk, I just pull the door. Cause you know, ain't nobody looking. They just close the door. Come on, Sharp. I'm headed to bed. Man, ain't nobody do that with Sharp, man. I'll be like. So I go by the time I get to the cafeteria. Shop, I man, you need to stop playing.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

I said, what are you talking about? I just woke up.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Nah, man, ain't nobody did that but you. Stop playing or we'll poke rubbing alcohol and set it on fire.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Hey, come out.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Nah, man. Sean, leave us alone or we'll penny lock you in the room. You ever penny lock somebody in the room, Joe Ocho?

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Penny lock what that means?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Yeah, you take pennies. You know, it's just. It's just enough so you put pennies in the door so they can't open it. Either way, they can't pull it over or push it open.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Oh, I. I ain't never seen that.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

I ain't either.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

And I kept. I can't. We kept people penny locked in the room, or we'll knock your peephole out. Hey, come on, man. I want to talk to you about something. Nah, Shop, you play too much. Five things all in your room.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Oh, that's messed up.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Oh, man, come on.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

The last night, man, we did, the last time we was up in Greeley, this was a 2002. I'm sorry, Harpo, I got to give you a up. I said, harpo, I need a master key. You know, everybody called me Sharpie. Sharpie. What you need it for? I said sharp. I said, harpo, we got to get the rookies, man. They've been misbehaving. He say, after we do room check, come down and get it. So now me burns about five of us. We don't went. We don't went. I think it was King Supers or something. But we don't got. We take all the trash cans.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

We fill it up with syrup, water, and flour, and we Cut up the pillars and dump the feathers in there.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Oh, man.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Hey, about what? 1 o', clock, 1:30. The bottom joker sleep.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Hey, I know. Hey, I know. They were. I know.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Hey, but they sound asleep. Ocho joke.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

I know they were mad.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

What were they?

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Hey, hey. Because as a rookie, man, you gonna get gagged anyway no matter what you do. It don't matter if you're doing everything right or if you're doing everything. They gonna get you, bro.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

In Baltimore, we just. We tied them up. We tie them up to the goal post, dump water on them, put them in the cold tub.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

But in Denver. Oh, yeah, we got them. Man, we messed up so many. We messed up people, computers. I'm sorry, guys. I am so sorry that we messed up your computer, man.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

I took care when they go to

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

pop, but we did about 45 and all the fact we go get five of Steven Shop, everybody float. We empty those, that thing like a winter wonderland. Yeah.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Hey, hey. They go get your keys out your locker while you in practice, and they popcorn your car, man. You know how hard it is getting all this stuff out your car, bro.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

That's funny, Joe. We steal somebody car and drive it about a mile away, leave it running, doors open, lights on.

[Ari Chambers]

Damn.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

By the time practice over here, that thing dead.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

I got. I got off easy as a rookie. The most they did to me tied me to the goal post, left me out there, pulled all the Gatorade out the practice.

[American Express Advertiser]

Yep.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Gatorade on top of me. The water on top of me. That was pretty much it. And my rookie dinner. My rookie dinner. I had to pay where I had to pay for the receivers. I got off easy.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Oh, yeah, and we're gonna make you late. You got to be late. You got to be elite for one practice. Cause we gonna nail your locker shut. Nail it shut. Man. Come on, man. Who did this, man?

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Showed him some fun.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Hey, put them in your helmet. It.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Oh, yeah,

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

baby powder. And you be sweating that thing like. Man, what the. Come on, man. Man, y' all play. I said, bro, I don't know why they everybody blame it on me. Like I'm the only guy on the team. Man, ain't nobody but sharp. It had to be sharper burns. I bet you, man. Come on, bro. Y' all need to stop blaming me for stuff that I did. I mean, I didn't do.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Hey, hey, hey. I try. I try to do everything right, Uncle Ocho. What you need? Coffee.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

What you need?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Prophylactic.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

What you need? Newspaper. I'm bringing it All I'm making sure I ain't missing.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

He got you, Joe.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Cause it was two. It was three of us as rookies. So, you know, like, if one of us ain't doing what they ask, hell, we all gotta pay. Man, we came outside one day, boy, them cars was full of popcorn. I'm talking about as soon as you open the door, it come flushing.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Oh, man, I got unlucky too, Ocho, because I was the only rookie and they didn't want to do anything. So I got. I had a limbo. I got limo, had the thing, and ain't nobody show up. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Jesus. But Clinton porters. Oh, we got porters. Clinton Portis. Clinton Portis, Ashland Lee.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Y' all got C.P.

[American Express Advertiser]

did we.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

I know he was mad.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Nah, he was a good sport about it.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Oh, he was cool. Okay.

[Yamaneika Saunders]

Okay.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Good about it. I mean, it ain't called. I mean, they call him, but like 22, 5.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

That's only about.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

That's it. 22 5. 2000. 22, 500.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Well, y'.

[Lele Pons]

All.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Y' all would have had to see me, huh?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Hey, the thing is, look, I say, look, guys, this is what we're gonna do. We not taking anything home because, you know, because guys have started. They order. They order steaks. 150 steaks. Take home my in laws coming in town. No, your in laws ain't gonna eat none of this. Man, them jokes about.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Come on.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Buy a three thousand dollar bottle of wine to take home. Now, if you want to drink some Rothschilds from Protrudes, or if you want a shot of that King Louis. Hey, what's the most expensive? Cause back then, that King Louie. That's all we knew. Yeah, it was like a hundred dollars. 125 a shot.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on.

[American Express Advertiser]

One.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Come on.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

You said that like. You said that too casual. 125 for what?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

A shot, an ounce, maybe two ounces. About this much.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Come on now. Come on now.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

They just let me get 15 of those.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

15?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

15. Who gonna pay for it? The rookie, Portis and Lily.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

What?

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Damn, that's cold.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Oh, you gonna pay for it.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

My car would have declined. Hell, it wouldn't even. Mine wouldn't even.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

It would have went through joke.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Hell, no. $22,000. When I was a rookie, on my car.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Oh, you first round pick, Joe. You got it.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

I ain't saying, oh, yeah, you got it. But I got. I had. I had a limit on my card and 22 grand, it wasn't gonna Go through.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Don't worry about it. What would have went through?

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

You paid for it.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Guess what? We got it. We take it out your check.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Hey, ojo, ocho. Mine had about like a seven to $8,000 limit. That was if y' all went over there and one.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Yeah. And you had to get me a limo. I had to get a car by myself. I couldn't ride with nobody because I was gonna leave and when I was ready to leave. So you got to get a limo just for me.

[Ari Chambers]

You.

[Kerry Brownstein]

You.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

You made the price go up even more.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

For sure.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

But, you know, sometimes we had rookies. They. They wasn't no high draft picks. You know, I went. I help them out, right? But if you were the first round draft pick and you on the skill position, running back or wide receiver.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Yeah, you got it.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

You get all that.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

You know what's funny too, is what's that? You know, it's tradition. All NFL teams, obviously rookies, based on position. You all have rookie night, obviously. The dinners. When I was a veteran, I never did it. I never made the rookie have to do anything.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

You ain't do.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Oh, I. I ain't made no boy do nothing. I had to deal with it.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I was.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

I was kind of cool about it. I wasn't with the haze. And you ain't got to carry my pad. You ain't got to carry my helmet. I was cool. I was just chilling, man.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I dropped my stuff right down the foot. Hey,

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

real.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Drop them pants right down there.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Hey, bro, let me get some. Hey, give me some Gatorade.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

That's the whole part about it. So hopefully you be inspired to make the team. So you guess what you get.

[Nick Turturro]

You're a rookie.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

I was kind of cool about it.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I had to get chicken, and I ain't even want no chicken.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Well, that's right. I had to do Popeyes, huh? Yeah, for the receivers. I had to do Popeyes on game day as a rookie. Joe.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Hey, I wasn't dressing.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

I still had to get Popeyes.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Listen, man, I had to get. I had to get coffee, donuts and a newspaper.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

These folks ain't looking at Joe.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Now, this is very important now, man, when you go get donuts, we talk about Dunkin Donuts and we talk about Krispy Kreme.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

I was getting Dunkin Donuts at the time, okay?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Nah, they had this place. I think it's called Winchell's. And they talk about.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

I know about winches.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Yeah, I think that was the name of it. Ocho and Joe, they talking about they want them hot and they wanted six glaze and they wanted with jelly donuts, and they won't. I said, come on, man.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Damn. Hey, hey.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

And they want breakfast sandwich. They got this spot. They got breakfast sandwich. Sandwich. I want bacon, egg and cheese. I want sausage, egg and cheese. Well, I won't. I want mine on the console.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

You be late for that plane. You want to.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Please. But I wanted. I wanted to fight these dudes for real. And I know they couldn't beat me. I want to fight the N word for real.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Hey.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

And then I just. Like, you know what? I ain't gonna Elijah. But like, week eight or week nine.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I just told. I said, I ain't bringing no more donuts.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

You said that?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I said, I ain't bringing no more donuts. They said, all right, you know what's gonna happen? I said, okay, if nice knowing y', all, cuz they gonna cut me. I'mma whip everybody. I said, I'm whip every last one of y'.

[Sam J]

All.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Did you bring them?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

No, I was done. They weren't even eating them. Hey, okay, first of all, I'm a seventh round draft pick. Ooh, stuff. I ain't got no bread like that.

[Yamaneika Saunders]

I'm.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I'm buying all this stuff.

[Ari Chambers]

And.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

And when I leave, you know, I set them in the guy's locker. Yeah, they still. I mean, somebody might eat one donut. Somebody might eat, you know, one breakfast sandwich or two breakfast sandwiches. I don't bought 7.

[Fred Armisen]

8.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Nah, they didn't want you to put the work in. They just want you. Hey, they just want you. They just want to put your ass.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I'm having to get up early.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Hey, they wasting your money, huh?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I said, okay.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Hey, hey. Not only that, you gotta leave practice early on days we finna fly. Yes, you gotta leave practice early. Cause you gotta go get all these sandwiches.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Thank you, Joe. Thank you. Subways.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Boy, you gonna be late. We calling you. You ain't got about 10 minutes. Boy, you pulling up sweating like I don't know what.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Yeah, somebody want Popeyes. Somebody want Kentucky Fried Chicken? Somebody want Burger King? I mean, why can't you just go

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

get Popeyes and everybody get air rides?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I want spicy, I want mild, man. I'm done.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

That's crazy.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

That's how it happened.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

That's crazy.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

So that was the end of that. I did. I did it for as long as I could. Once I kept doing it, if they were eating the sandwiches, I kept buying them, no problem. But nah, Y' all not eating them, and then, you know, the d. Liming eating them and the offensive lineman eating them. Nah.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Right, Right.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I say, hey, well, I guess that's a ass cut I'm g. Have to take. But I tell you what.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Two of y' all gonna get effed up. I promise you that.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Did they complain what they gonna do? I told them whatever y' all want to do.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Right? Oh, damn. They gave the name.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

They g. You know, they. They. They. They gave me the name Big Greasy for a reason.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Yeah. Hey, hey.

[Yamaneika Saunders]

Huh?

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

I would. I would have had to jump on you, boy. I would have had to jump on you, boy, like.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Hey.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Like a chicken.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Nah, I got. I got into it one time.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

For real?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Yeah, me and CK Because I was a rookie. Because they. When they moved. When they moved me to tight end, obviously I had to go into the tight end room.

[Sam J]

Right.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

CK Was a vet. CK Said behind me. And every day, you know, I. I don't want to cause no trouble. My grandma say, boy, I don't see you nowhere. Know how. You know how to behave. You know how to act.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Yes, sir.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

CK kept knocking my. Knocking my. So I have all my thing out. So I'm trying to take notes. So I have my notebook out, man, it. And where y' all like to make me say this ninja would like kick the book and all my papers. Fine. So you know, I got to rearrange them, right? And so I thought, okay, it's a rookie. I'm a rookie. Okay, I'm gonna eat this couple of times. You know, one of them days, guys, you just don't even feel like being bothered.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Snap, Bunk.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

You catch. You catch. You catch the right guy, but it just happened to be the wrong day.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Yep.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Man, that Joe kicked that. He kicked that thing over one more time that last time, boy, I jump out that seat. Death flipped over.

[Sam J]

Damn.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

By that time I had. I was all. I was right here. I had. I got him out of his seat. I said, ck, you do that one more time, bro, I'm gonna beat your ass. And you're gonna beat me. And I don't think you can beat me. Yeah, I don't think you can beat me.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Who broke it up?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I ain't have nothing. Nobody. They were just looking like. Well, damn.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

I bet. I bet he said, I'm just playing.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I bet he ain't do it no more. Cause at that time, my eyes. When I get really, really upset. Yeah, my eyes get really red and they start to water. I had a. I Had a young lady that used to call me Beast.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Beast.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Because when I get really upset, she's like, man, look at your nostrils. So she called me man. I was, boy, look here, had I been a. Well, he wouldn't have done that if I was a vet, right? But he thought like. And see, I don't, I don't like all that picking. That's what they call. We call it either side. We call it picking.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Now, trying to bully you.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Don't do all that picking it and grow and grown men don't play like that. I had to tell the man, stop that, man. I was, I was thinking, you know, the, the, the coach, the tight end coach was gonna say something, but he didn't. That was it. And then I slapped the dude one time cuz he was playing.

[Yamaneika Saunders]

Damn. Huh?

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

You slapping people at work?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Look here, man. Would a man tell you to stop playing? What you do, Joe?

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Stop playing.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Hell, it was cold.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

And

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

he knocked the ball out of my head. I'm talking about it was cold. I'm talking about, bundle up, I got two sweatsuit, two pair of sweatpants on. I'm talking about. It's cold like that. Come on, man. So he knocked the ball out my hand. I said, man, stop playing. So catch me a pass. I come back, he hit the ball and the ball hit me in the face. And before, and before I had knew it.

[Yamaneika Saunders]

Wow.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I had them punched him dead in his face.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Yeah, a little slight reaction.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Hey, I'm talking about that thing was. I'm talking about I snapped one. He said, man, you for real? They said that man just punched the. At you. What you think I went about my business? That was the end of that.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Hey, bet he ain't do it no more.

[Yamaneika Saunders]

Nope.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I mean, we ain't speak for a couple of days, but we were cool after that. I don't do our. Look, we had a group that we used to play jokes on each other. Me, Burns, house, double A, dude named Alan Aldridge, rest his soul, he passed away. It was about four of us and foots. So we would play jokes on each other. Couldn't do it in the cafeteria. But if you, if we saw you somewhere outside, like, man, joker be eating in his locker and you come knock all this food out.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Oh, okay. We did that in high school. We did it in high school.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

So check this out, Joe. Check this out. Joe Nocho, this dude, I get my food and Ray Jacobs, that's who it was, Ray Jacobs. So every day I would come with pancakes. I come with pancakes from Lapee I get wheat germ pancakes, banana sliced on top. That's it. That's what I would get. I'll park in the same spot every day. How about dude laying up under his car, huh? He laying up on this. I ain't thinking nothing about it, man. I got my, got my pancakes, got my orange juice. I'm just a. Oh, I'm gonna tear this up. Look how dude roll up on his car and just kick my bag right up out my hand. Oh, pancakes go everywhere. Yeah, he laid on the ground under his truck like Cape Fear. You see the movie K Fear with Robert De Niro?

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Yeah, Justin.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

That's how old boy did me.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Hey, hey, you know, back in high school, we play that and you got something in your hand. They slap it out your hand real quick and it hit the flow,

[Kerry Brownstein]

but

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

it hit the floato, Joe. So you can't eat it no more. Yeah, I play three second rule, boy. I'm. If I three second rule, I'm picking it up. I mean, I'm eating mine.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

You couldn't eat that. Cause we hit on the floor and just step on it. Okay, you ain't eat that. O Joe. That's exactly what guys would do. Tell my. Oh, three second rule. Let's go.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Three second rule. Yeah, Joe. Y' all ain't play that three second rule, Joe.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Nah, nah, nah.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

We, hey, we, we, we.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

We played games. Like if you had something in your hand and I liked it and I knocked it out, then it was like, okay, okay, okay. Yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

We be in training camp, Ocho. I go around and screw the top off and just barely put it back on. All the salt and pepper shakers. So when they like get some, ah, all the pepper in the plate, all the salt on their food.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Hey, boy, you man.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Good days, bro.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I did, I did. That was, hey, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was all the stuff that I wanted to do at. Like I said I couldn't wait. They got me, Joe.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Yeah, yeah, that's. That's the thing.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I gotta get my get back. Yeah, I hated when. Because that was my. In 2003, my last year playing, we had training camp at the facility. That's when they had started, you know, bringing in. And we didn't go back to Greeley anymore, but to go to Greeley, to be in that dorm because we, we stayed at a UNC University of Northern Colorado up in Greeley, man. Oh, we stayed in some, we stayed in some mess.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Oh, man.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Oh, we. Oh, should have been mad. Oh, we got Ocho. Who we got? Oh, you're a rookie.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Nah, but I'm. Now you. Y'.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

All.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Y' all would have loved me. Y' all wouldn't mess with me.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Yeah, we would have. And you're rookie here. And then we got you like, oh, I'm getting me somebody back.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Yeah, they. Hey, hey, they. They make something up to get you, ojo. It don't matter if you're doing everything right. They gonna. They gonna make something up.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

It's all good. It's all good. Yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Can you. You only a rookie once, Ocho.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Yeah, you're right. You're right.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

And then guess what? You're gonna be a vet longer than you're gonna be a rookie.

[Fred Armisen]

Rookie.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

So guess about all the rookies that come in after you.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Yeah, I let all the rookies slide that came after me. I was. I was a good sport about it, too, Uncle Joe. I was a good sport about it. I won triple. Listen, listen, I understand this tradition. I really ain't into that, so I'm gonna accept it. I'm gonna pay what I need to pay. Hood, before the games, I'm gonna get your Popeyes. You know

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I want no Popeyes. I want you to sing. Where you from? Put your hand over your heart. Where you from? Oregon State. What position you play? Wide receiver. How much was your signing bonus? 500. Oh, hell, no. How you get $500,000?

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Hey, the worst thing. The worst thing in the NBA was when they made you as rookies. They make all the rookies carry these little girl backpacks. You had to worry. You had to carry, like, a pink backpack, Ocho. Or it may have to be clear to where you can see everything and you be. Oh, man. It may have. It might be a butterfly backpack.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Door to door.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Oh, man. Oh, yeah. Door to explore all that. Yeah, yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Whole season. But that. That's going on. What we did was passed down. They have been doing that for, like, 40, 50 years, Ocho Joe.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Yeah. Damn.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

So we just want to keep. Keep the tradition going.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Okay.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

All that. They're cutting up. We ain't cutting no haircut. I mean, I see some people cut people here. Now. We ain't cutting nobody. I ain't cutting nobody here.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Now, that's wild.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Oh, yeah, man. They begin to do. Man, they cut half the. Half the side of the hair off like this here. The rest of the side just is.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

They give you a mohawk. They do all. Oh, man. Joe. I said, oh, no, that. Y' all doing too much for that. That's too much. There was the days. I'm sorry, man. You know what? Now that I think about it, y' all ain't getting no rookie initiation, Joe. You did, though, Joe. We ain't get y' all no rookie initiation, Joe. Yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

What we gonna do to him?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I don't know. We think of something there.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

I'm. Hey, I'm two years in now.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Yeah, yeah, you right, Joe.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Damn.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

But even if you took.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

We done passed the.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Not really. We still got to initiate you, though. Hey, Unc, you know what? I'm kind of mad, too, Unc.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

What?

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

That.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

For what?

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

I'm mad. He faking an injury, trying to duck me, man.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Oh, he ducking you off?

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

He ain't got nothing.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

He ducking me. I'm thinking. I just. I just.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

What I ain't doing in the big three ain't got nothing to do with you, Paul.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Oh, I'm gonna be.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

I'm gonna be able to tend to you soon. Don't you even worry about that.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Damn.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Don't worry about that.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

You think so?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

You know that left leg? He said that left leg is only like 115, so he ain't gonna be able to push off it.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Hey, all I'm do. I'm go. I'm gonna go to his right because you got to push off that left.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

That's right. That's right.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Yeah.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

You can't see. You can't see in that damn right eye. So are we even?

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

That's right.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Hey, Joe.

[Nick Turturro]

Hey.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Hey, Joe. Don't talk about my eye, Joe. For real.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Hey, that thing a little murky, though. For real, though. Yeah, I know.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Hey, can you see it? Can you see it?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Yeah.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Yeah, man.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Huh?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Yeah, man.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

That's.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

That's why with Michelle. I'm gonna go get the cataract removed, man. I'm gonna do it, man.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

You.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

You probably need to.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

I am. I am, man. I be. Man, I don't know, man. I be. I don't know, man.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

You scared, huh?

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Well, I don't want to have to go.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

I remember what it was like when. 1994, when I had that surgery and I had inflammation on the inside. My grandma thought it was pink eye. I don't know what it was, but I remember they put the. They took the Q tip.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

And it. Take the Q tip on top of the eyeball.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

And you feel that needle go in, but you can't feel the pain because they haven't.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Oh, they numb it. It.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Oh, that's the. Oh, that's the worst feeling, man. I just don't want to go through that no more, man.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

That ain't what they do with a cataract now. They actually lift it up and pull it out.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Ah, come on, man.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Yeah, yeah. They got to get that up out of there.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Go and get it done, bro. You gotta get right.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Yeah, I'm gonna do it. I'm do it, Joe. I'm gonna do it.

[Fred Armisen]

I just.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Oh, that. Just the eyeball, man. And what if I get that lazy eye again?

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Oh, that far as Whitaker.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

No, my eye. In high school, my eye was stuck like that. It was off to the side, like.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Oh, you think that thing. Cockeye, huh?

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Yeah, I was like that. For real. I don't know how. Like. Hey, hey, Joe, you can see how. You see how I'm looking at you right now?

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

It wasn't like that when I was in high school. My eye was stuck. It was stuck to the right like Biggie Smalls. I don't know how it got to the point. And I can't. I can't see. I can't see nothing out the right eye. I just don't want that to happen. I go back in there, I go back under the knife, and then my eyes stop. I'm 50, 50 years old and I'm cockeyed.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

We gonna start the show every night. What a joke or two. Oh, don't think just cause you got a Cockeye at 50 years old, we ain't gonna join you, boy. Please.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Hey, come on, man. Y' all can't do me like that, man.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Yes, we can. Yes, we will. Although Joe might not, but I will.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

Oh, hey, nah, hey, hey. You know I got to get mine.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

You know what? I'm gonna wear a patch. Don't worry about it.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

That's okay. We know what's under there.

[Uncle Joe or another close family/friend figure]

You're gonna be like. Hey. You're gonna be like Slick Rick.

[Joe (likely Joe Ocho or Joe from the conversation)]

Yeah, man. That's why I'm nervous about getting it done. Because I just know after that surgery, my eye. I had a cockeye all through high school. Sophomore. I had to deal with it in college. And once I got to Santa Monica, for some reason, it started to straighten back up, but I still couldn't. I still couldn't see how that.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

Hey, y' all remember that? Remember Clump when Dave Chappelle Reggie where they asking, Should I get him, get him, get him. Should I get him? What would he do for a Klondike bar? Now we know who leading Gil was.

[Ocho (likely a nickname for a main speaker)]

Great.

[Joe (likely Joe Greene or another Joe)]

I bet when you cut him. He bleed chunky?