Nightcap Gone Wild Part 1: That time Ocho got CHEATED ON, On the ROAD SHORTIES, No-Sex RULE

Summary

Nightcap Gone Wild Part 1: That Time Ocho Got CHEATED ON, On the ROAD SHORTIES, No-Sex RULE

Podcast: Nightcap
Hosts: Shannon Sharpe (“Unc”), Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson, Joe
Date: July 22, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this candid, hilarious, and sometimes raw episode, football legends Shannon Sharpe (Unc), Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson, and Joe get deeply personal, sharing stories from their pasts that go way beyond sports. The trio weave through themes of getting cheated on, the temptations of being a professional athlete on the road, changes in male sexuality over time, and the cultural phenomenon of the “no-sex rule” in sports. With unfiltered opinions, nostalgic flashbacks, friendly jabs, and occasional moments of vulnerability, the episode offers a look into the lives, lessons, and growing pains of these sports icons, both on and off the field.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Ocho Gets Cheated On & Lessons Learned

• Story Retold: Unc recalls being “cheated on” back in his freshman year, how friends warned him about the girl (“she was a goer”), and the life lessons it taught him about trust.
  • "Hey, it wasn't really no reason to feel bad for me because it was only two weeks. My homeboys have warned me..." (04:35)
• The Transition from Savage to Calculated: The experience made Unc more cautious and emotionally shielded but not cynical.
  • “Obviously, no not get. To tell you the truth. Not even a savage, because everybody deserves the benefit of the doubt. And you should be able to trust everybody. All it take is one.” (06:37)
  • “It just heighten your awareness. That's all it did, Ocho.” (06:48)
• Hierarchy and Relationship Roles: They riff on being “number two” (the side guy) versus “number one”, how men tend to be more comfortable as number two, enjoying less headache and more freedom.
  • “Number two was such a beautiful spot. I ain't got to deal with the headache. I ain't got to deal with the fussing. I ain't paying no bills. You come to me to vent and I'm a shoulder to cry on.” (07:39)

2. Life on the Road: Shorties, Hotel Stories, and Temptation

• Pro Athlete Realities: The crew discusses what it’s really like during road games—freedom, access, and the ever-present temptations.
  • “In basketball, you gonna practice two hours out the day. You got the rest of the day to chill. Game night on the road...you might got a little something. Something come through.” (18:20)
• Nostalgia and Changes: Stories about high school and college girls, reunions, and how people’s looks (and lives) change with time.
  • “Most of the time you graduate. Then they had two, three kids, and, you know, they'd be a little bell pepper, Joe.” (21:56)
  • “When you're in high school, they fine for no reason. They ain't got to work out or nothing.” (29:02)
• Road Rules and Room Checks: Athletes’ rare curfews, who does room checks, and how mostly it’s partners/spouses tracking, not teams.
  • “Only person gonna be room checking you is your damn girlfriend or your wife.” (19:24)

3. The "No Sex" Rule Before Games

• Knicks' 10-Week Ban: Discussing the (supposed) Knicks’ 10-week no-sex rule during their championship run.
  • “Mikal Bridges confirmed owner James Dolan issued a 10 weeks no sex man prior to the team big win. 10 weeks.” (29:41)
• Skepticism and Reality: General disbelief that any pro player really follows those rules, especially married ones.
  • “You know damn well none of them boys listen to that shit. NBA players.” (29:52)
  • “10 weeks is a long time though.” (30:17)
• Personal Experiences: How frequency and desire change with age; playful ribbing about declining “numbers” and performance.
  • “I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm one once every two weeks, maybe.” (30:42)
  • “I play around a lot, but you can tell by my voice and my delivery, I'm not joking.” (31:03)

4. Changes in Libido, Diet, and Aging

• Candid Confessions & Health Trends: Unc opens up about a declining sex drive, thinking maybe age or diet contributes. The crew pushes back with jokes (“you eat a lot of McDonald's—so it lowers your testosterone level!”), advice on supplements, and reminders about regular doctor checkups and prostate cancer risks.
  • “You probably just got a lot going on...You can't be...Still can’t.” (32:32)
  • “You need to get your testosterone level checked.” (33:58)
• Hilarious Analogies: The guys liken sex to eating: “Once you set the table, I might not even be hungry, right? Once you set the table, I will eat a belly full.” (33:00)
• Aging Realities: Stories of “dud performances,” comfort from partners, and how the double/triple “shift” days are gone.
  • “Hey, but about 50. 50 seconds to a minute, boy. A dud. A whole dud.” (38:41)
  • “Now look at you now, look at you. Take you out, pull up the double shift, ask you to work overtime, you work overtime. I don't work two days straight as it is.” (40:33)

5. Parenting, Catching Kids in the Act, and How Times Change

• Passing It Down: Ocho and Joe swap stories about their kids’ personalities—how some are like them, how some scare them, and moments of catching their own children making moves they never would’ve tried at that age.
  • “My daughter and my youngest son do [act like me]. My oldest son, he a little different, Uncle Ocho ... I gotta keep my eye on his ass...” (50:37)
  • “He got a light on. And I could see people in there moving around. And I'm like, hey, hey, man, y' all, come on, man. She gotta go home, bro. You gotta go.” (53:39)
• Parenting in Modern Times: How technology, security cameras, and tighter neighborhoods make sneaking around harder for their kids than it was for them.
  • “We live in a little cul de sac where it ain't but, like three houses in this gated community. So it's probably 10 to 12 cameras as soon as you turn on the block.” (58:40)
  • “Whatever you think about. I done thought about it twice. Whatever you did, I did it three times.” (59:47)

6. Clubbing, Regrets, & "Taking Nightcap to the Next Level"

• Clubbing FOMO: Unc shares missing out on classic club life—standing on couches, poppin’ bottles—which Ocho and Joe say he didn’t miss much (unless he was “hunting”).
  • “I want to know what it's like to go to the club...to pop bottles...to stand on the couch, Joe. I still have yet to do that, Joe.” (63:44)
  • “It's overrated. But when you go there...we used to be out hunting...thinking like, oh, yeah, I'ma find me something new tonight.” (64:00)
• Moving to Houston? The Devil’s Playground: A playful debate erupts about all three relocating to Houston to set up a Nightcap studio, with both temptation and business sense at play.
  • “Houston's on another level right now. I call it the Devil's playground.” (70:44)
• Joe’s Wisdom and Reluctance: Joe is firm—“Every man gotta know his limitations.” (72:09), referencing the temptations of Houston.
• Nightcap Stadium Tour Dream: The crew fantasizes about massive Nightcap live events at venues like NRG Stadium (Houston), Paycor Stadium (Cincinnati), etc. as a business move.
  • “We could do a live Nightcap show and sell out NRG stadium.” (76:17)

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Notable and Memorable Quotes

• On heartbreak & learning:
  “All it take is one.” — Unc (06:47)
• On the joys of being a ‘number two’:
  “Number two was such a beautiful spot. I ain't got to deal with the headache…” — Unc (07:39)
• On the realities of temptation in pro sports:
  “Only person gonna be room checking you is your damn girlfriend or your wife.” — Ocho (19:24)
• On the “no sex” ban:
  “You know damn well none of them boys listen to that shit.” — Unc (29:52)
• On aging:
  “Now look at you now, look at you. Take you out, pull up the double shift, ask you to work overtime, you work overtime. I don't work two days straight as it is.” — Joe (40:33)
• On parenting and sneaky teens:
  “We was once 17, 18, 19. Once trying to be sneaky, man, I know all these damn tricks you trying to pull up in here.” — Unc (56:02)
• On Houston’s allure:
  “Houston's on another level right now. I call it the Devil's playground.” — Joe (70:44) “Every man gotta know his limitations.” — Joe (72:09)
• On business & nostalgia:
  “We could do a live Nightcap show and sell out NRG stadium.” — Unc (76:17) “You gotta think business, man. Business.” — Unc (77:09)

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Important Timestamps

• 04:35: Unc on being cheated on, “she was a goer” story
• 07:39: “Number two was such a beautiful spot…”
• 18:20: Life on the road and athlete temptations
• 29:41: Knicks’ “10-week no sex rule” discussion
• 32:30: Male performance, getting older
• 38:41: Unc on “dud” nights & performance anxiety
• 50:37: Parenting, kids behaving like them, and getting caught
• 58:40: Modern parenting—door cameras, tracking kids
• 63:44: Unc’s clubbing FOMO
• 70:44: Houston is “the devil’s playground”
• 76:17: Nightcap stadium show business pitch

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Tone & Language

• Camaraderie & Realness: The episode is filled with brotherly banter, vulnerability, and comedy—even as they discuss sensitive, occasionally embarrassing subjects.
• Unfiltered & Authentic: Speakers don’t hold back, dropping jokes, street wisdom, and a few explicit notes in good humor.
• Nostalgic & Reflective: The trio look back at youth, changing desires, sports careers, and the different roles of men and women, mixing nostalgia with lessons learned.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a quintessential slice of “Nightcap”—funny, wild, honest, and wide-ranging, blending locker room stories with fatherly advice and some sharp insights about life, masculinity, and aging. If you’re new, expect more than just sports talk—expect the kind of real conversations that only legends (and real friends) can have.

Transcript

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[Lele Pons]

My first guest is Paris Hilton, Shakira, Luke and Yerim.

[Joe]

You have surprises.

[Ocho]

Many surprises.

[Lele Pons]

Welcome to the Sweet 305 podcast where the group chat comes to life.

[SimplePractice Advertiser]

What up?

[Joe]

You're the only person I know that

[Lele Pons]

loves a yellow Starburst.

[Unc]

It's lemonade.

[Lele Pons]

This is Sweet305. Here, oversharing is encouraged. Listen to Sweet305 with Lele Pons on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Fred Armisen]

Hey Portlandia fans, Kerry Brownstein and Fred Armisen here.

[Kerry Brownstein]

The dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form.

[Fred Armisen]

We're launching AO Rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made.

[Kerry Brownstein]

And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Krisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more.

[Fred Armisen]

Kyle is going for it. Here you fully improvised, not just words, but a song.

[Joe]

Well, I thought you were all going

[Chelsea Handler]

to write a song.

[Fred Armisen]

I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia AO rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ari Chambers]

What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers.

[Sam J]

Hey, what's up, y'?

[Chelsea Handler]

All?

[Sam J]

It's your girl, Sam J.

[Ari Chambers]

And we're the host of Everyone watches women's Sports, a new podcast from Together and I heart women's sports.

[Sam J]

We're breaking down the biggest headlines.

[Ari Chambers]

Naomi Osaka showing out shout outs to you, Naomi. The viral moments.

[Sam J]

I've been obsessed with Chrisean Rock's boxing journey.

[Joe]

She looks good.

[Sam J]

Her combos are swift.

[Ari Chambers]

And the stories everyone's talking about across

[Sam J]

women's sports because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to Everyone watches women's Sports on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Joe]

Hey, guys, it's your favorite unk here. Go ahead and click that subscribe button below so you don't miss a single episode of Nightcap. That button right here. Come for the sports, stay for the stories. It's maddie 22:15, unk and ISO. How did joel embiid had oo x when he was rolling up those wires?

[Ocho]

What?

[Joe]

When oo called his girl in the back. You and j. Cross are my favorite ISO players of all time.

[Unc]

Hey, that was funny, boy.

[Joe]

Dang, Ocho, I feel bad.

[Chelsea Handler]

Hey, that.

[Unc]

That was a class. That was a classic night one.

[Joe]

Because I heard. I kept hearing people say, man, he. Man, he had that girl in the Haitian Hucker book. I say, so that's what the Haitian Huckabook.

[Unc]

Let's see. Hey, it wasn't really no reason to feel bad for me because it was only two weeks. My homeboys have warned me, man. This ain't that, man.

[Joe]

You pulled that much out of me and your girl in two weeks.

[Unc]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, listen. Hey, listen, down here we call him. She was. She was a goer. Oh, you know, she was the goer.

[Ocho]

You just didn't know it. You just didn't know it.

[Unc]

No, they told.

[Fred Armisen]

He knew.

[Unc]

Hey, Joe.

[Joe]

That's how he got her so quick.

[Unc]

Yeah, I was.

[Joe]

I was. But she was easy come, easy go.

[Unc]

Yeah, that was a freshman, Joe. So I thought, you know, I thought I was doing something.

[Ocho]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Unc]

You know.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Unc]

No, I was. I was playing way above my pay grade.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Unc]

And that's how it be.

[Joe]

Yeah. You know, Joe said she was good. She was a lot of. So she was nice and flexible.

[Ocho]

Oh, man.

[Unc]

Come on. Come on, man.

[Joe]

I'm.

[Unc]

Hey, I'm good now, though, you know? Hey, listen, I see any signs of anything. Okay, Bet. Hey, hey, hey, hey, Joe. Hey, hey, Joe. Let me tell you. Let me tell you what that turned me into.

[Ocho]

Now I already know.

[Unc]

Hey, I don't even play. I see any signs of anything. Oh, so you want to be funny? All right, it's gonna be a comedy show.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Now.

[Unc]

Come on, we. Hey, we can. We can both play. Yeah.

[Ocho]

Hey, Joe.

[Joe]

Hey, listen. Come on, man. Hey, listen, I said that, man.

[Unc]

Pull out.

[Joe]

I said, oh, my God. That's an old travel. Look where he put all that.

[Ocho]

Oh, no, I know it. Oh, Joe, I know it turned you to a savage, bro.

[Unc]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Hey, hey, hey, Joe. Absolutely, matter of fact, not.

[Chelsea Handler]

Not.

[Unc]

You know what? Obviously, no not get. To tell you the truth. Not even a savage, because everybody deserves the benefit of the doubt. And. And you should be able to trust everybody. All it take is one.

[Joe]

It just heighten your awareness. That's all it did, Ocho.

[Unc]

That's it. Yo, it take. It take one thing, Joe, and then.

[Ocho]

And.

[Unc]

And always. Let me see how I say this the right way without being respectful, because I. I played number two for such a long time.

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Unc]

When I put myself in the number one position.

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Unc]

All the don't work.

[Ocho]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Unc]

You get what I'm saying?

[Ocho]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Unc]

None of it works. None of the game. None of the lad. None of the. Oh, my. But none of it.

[Joe]

But the difference is, Ocho, between a guy and a lady. See, a guy is fine being number two. He don't really care about being number one. Number one lady, she trying to be number your number two lady trying to be number one.

[Sam J]

Yeah.

[Joe]

I be back up. I be here sitting drums. I don't need to be lead single. I don't never want. Need to get on the microphone. I just beat these drums. Absolutely not,

[Unc]

Joe. Hey, Joe. Number two is such. Number two was such a beautiful spot. I ain't got to deal with the headache. I ain't got to deal with the fussing. I ain't paying no bills. You come to me to vent and I'm a shoulder to cry on.

[Joe]

Yep.

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Unc]

And also. And ride now Man.

[Ocho]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe]

Dead and bubblegum.

[Ocho]

Hey, yeah.

[Joe]

Hey, I'm perfectly fine being Jerome. What? I mirror at od Odie O. Hey, I don't need to be married. I'm Jerome. I'm holding the barrel.

[Unc]

Hey, I'm doing the bird.

[Joe]

Have you heard?

[Ocho]

Don't tell nothing about the bird.

[Unc]

Hey, you. I grew up on that. Hey, it was a day, Joe.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Now.

[Unc]

Now, I got me a nice little night.

[Joe]

Oh, they got Cambodia.

[Unc]

Yeah, I'm good. Not Joe.

[Ocho]

Yeah, he locked in. He locked in.

[Unc]

Hey, Joe ain't got no problem, but, you know.

[Joe]

Hey, hey, hey, hey. At first, hey, he was like Gattaca. Y' all remember that movie Gattaca with. With a Halle Berry? Everybody was dressed alike. Ocho, you know when they say, got a tight?

[Ocho]

Yeah, he got a tight.

[Yamanika Saunders]

What

[Joe]

me do he.

[Unc]

You think I gotta. You think I got a typo?

[Jake Brennan]

Yeah.

[Unc]

Hey, let me tell you something. Hey, Joe. Hey, Joe, what's up? When I get a bag of Skittles.

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Unc]

I eat every color. I don't pick and choose, okay? I pick and choose.

[Joe]

That man had a party. Had ojo.

[4Patriots Advertiser]

Girl.

[Joe]

Shadow. Sorry, Jenna.

[Yamanika Saunders]

Sorry.

[Joe]

I started my de. Control girl right there.

[Ocho]

Hey,

[Unc]

hey, hey.

[Joe]

Look at himself.

[Ocho]

He can't help himself. Oh, Joe.

[Unc]

Hey, come on. Hey, Unc, man. Hey. Hey, Joe. Hey, this. Hey, Joe. This way back in 1992.

[Joe]

Hey, hey, hey, hey. But.

[Ocho]

But you know that feeling, though.

[Joe]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ocho]

Oh, hey.

[Unc]

Hey. Oh, we didn't. Hey, we didn't all been there.

[Ocho]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Unc]

We didn't know. We didn't all be. We didn't all been there.

[Ocho]

That's why I say, boy, it scarred you a little bit, but that's okay.

[Unc]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Matter of fact, it scarred me to the point where I have. I. I approach things with a better understanding.

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Unc]

Like, even if we. That doesn't belong to me. That's not my property. Come on. Hey, what that is

[Joe]

why you got

[Unc]

birthday stuff.

[Ocho]

Throw it out tonight, Oto.

[Unc]

Hey, Unc. Hey, Uncle. Off that liquor tonight.

[Ocho]

Boy, He can't help himself. He can't help himself.

[Unc]

Hey, I bet some of the people in the chat lost, they might not know what the hell we talking about.

[Ocho]

Yeah, they know what he talking about.

[Unc]

They would have had to be here for that show.

[Ocho]

Oh, my.

[Joe]

Oo, you got some more stories.

[Unc]

Hey, hey, I got. I got about. I got about two more, but I ain't. I ain't going to tell you tonight.

[Joe]

Oh, my goodness, man. Oh, man. Oo. I'm sorry, man.

[Unc]

Now you good, you good, you good, you good. You know, it's good to let y'.

[Yamanika Saunders]

All.

[Unc]

You laughing at my pain.

[Joe]

I wouldn't do that on your.

[Unc]

Nah, you know, you gotta think this back in 92, so it don't really mean it don't make me none no more.

[Ocho]

Yeah, man.

[Joe]

Yeah, me and my homeboy just. Hamlet's good, Ocho.

[Ocho]

What's wrong with it, Ocho?

[Unc]

Oh, hey, he on that liquor tonight.

[Joe]

I ain't have nothing but some water tonight. I ain't had no liquor tonight. I ain't drink nothing tonight. I'm saving it. I'm saving Saturday and Sunday.

[Unc]

Oh, you sober? Okay,

[Joe]

Chad. I'm sorry, Chad. We gotta get through this. We gotta get through this. Come on.

[Ari Chambers]

What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers.

[Sam J]

Hey, what's up, y'? All? It's your girl, Sam J.

[Ari Chambers]

And we're the host of Everyone Watches Women's Sports, a new podcast from Together and I heart women's sports because, let's

[Sam J]

be real, women's sports is giving us way too much to talk about these days.

[Ari Chambers]

So Kelsey Findlar, she became the first female solo rower to go from California to Hawaii.

[Sam J]

My first thought is, like, what's up with the snow? Like, what are we?

[Joe]

What are we eating?

[Ari Chambers]

The highlights, the rivalries, the breakout stars, the moments that take over your entire

[Sam J]

timeline, and the conversations that start during the game and somehow keep going all week, every week, we're breaking down the biggest stories across women's sports.

[Ari Chambers]

Naomi Osaka showing out. She beat Sabalenka.

[Sam J]

Shout outs to you, Naomi.

[Ari Chambers]

You get the Palm. Naomi, you get the Palm for that.

[Sam J]

Because we're not just interested in what happened. We're interested in why everyone's talking. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to Everyone watches women's Sports on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. Every week, the news gets worse, the world gets crazier, and Yamanika is here to tell whoever's responsible, you're the problem.

[Yamanika Saunders]

If you come over here to play games, I' ma check you, okay? If you do some in the news that don't sound good, I'mma play you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Join Yamaneika Saunders as she breaks down the week's most problematic stories on her new podcast yout're the Problem With Yamaneika.

[Yamanika Saunders]

Do you know I just found out who Sydney Sweeney was.

[Chelsea Handler]

New episodes, weekly, every Wednesday as part of my new network, the Dear Chelsea Network.

[Yamanika Saunders]

If he Got a bunch of women. Then I should have a bunch of men do better or do less so I don't have to do so much.

[Chelsea Handler]

So join Yamaneika each episode as she answers one question. Who's the problem?

[Yamanika Saunders]

I'm Yamaneika and I'm out. Listen to youo're the Problem with yamaneika on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jake Brennan]

I'm Jake Brennan, and on the Disgraceland podcast, I explore the wild lives of rock stars and unbelievable true crime stories from music history. These are the stories you haven't heard, the kind you'll end up telling someone else. Like the time Paul McCartney spent in one of the world's most notorious prisons. Imagine that you're Paul McCartney. It's 1980, you're an ex Beatle, and you're doing time in one of Japan's worst prisons right there alongside Yakuza gangsters. And for a ridiculous charge or the bizarre crime Lady Gaga is accused of, who is the artist Lady Gaga is being accused of doing the unthinkable to after allegedly stealing her music and style to become famous. And what about that time Blondie's Debbie Harry escaped a serial killer? The man who had given her that ride she barely escaped from was Ted Bundy. Listen to Disgraceland on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Hey, Portlandia fans.

[Fred Armisen]

Kerry Brownstein and Fred Armisen here, you

[Kerry Brownstein]

know us, or rather you know them. Tony and Candace, Nina and Lance, Spike and yes, the chicken.

[Fred Armisen]

We've played a lot of iconic characters over the years, but today we're showing up as ourselves to tell you about Podlandia. AO rewatch our brand new podcast.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Each week we'll revisit an episode of Portlandia from the very beginning, breaking down the sketches, exploring the backstories of our most iconic characters, revisiting the Portland locations you know and love and. And opening up about our creative process.

[Fred Armisen]

How did any of this get made? Why did he think that was a good idea? We're ready to talk about it.

[Kerry Brownstein]

And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators and friends, including director Jonathan Krisel, the mayor himself, Kyle MacLachlan, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more.

[Fred Armisen]

Kyle is going for it. Here you fully improvised. Not just words, but a song about.

[Joe]

Well, I thought he was going to write. I thought you were all going to write a song.

[Fred Armisen]

I remember you thinking that.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Listen to Podlandia ayo rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Lele Pons]

My first guest is Paris Hilton, Shakira, Luke and Yerin Samira e Gracie. I'm so excited.

[Joe]

On the bouncy bed, you have surprises, many surprises.

[Lele Pons]

Welcome to suite 305, where the group

[Joe]

chat comes to life.

[Lele Pons]

What up? You're the only person I know that loves a yellow Starburst.

[Ocho]

It's lemonade.

[Lele Pons]

This is sweet. 305. Listen to suite 305 with Lele Pons as part of my Cultura podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Joe]

Okay.

[Ocho]

You know, in basketball, you gonna practice two hours out the day. You got the rest of the day to yourself, to chill. Game night on the road.

[Joe]

Road.

[Ocho]

I don't give a damn what it is. We ain't got to stay in the hotel. You know what I mean? Yeah, bro, you might got a little something. Something come through. You ain't.

[Joe]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, before the game.

[SimplePractice Advertiser]

Joke.

[Ocho]

Hey, man, you gotta get it. How you live? We in different cities almost every other night, man. I'm just saying, I. I ain't. Don't. Don't sit here and act like it ain't, you know, it ain't easy now, you know?

[Unc]

I mean, I ain't.

[Kerry Brownstein]

I ain't.

[Unc]

No joy. I ain't never did nothing like that. But go ahead.

[Ocho]

I'm just saying, you know, hey, not today.

[Joe]

I mean, maybe the night before the game, not the day of the game. Joe, you ain't trying to do nothing like that before the game.

[Ocho]

I'm saying, okay, if I'm in the city for only one night, you know what I mean? I ain't coming back. We only play this team one time in their building.

[Joe]

Well, you know, you know, like Lucy, Pedro say, if only for one night.

[Unc]

Damn, Joe. Y' all know, now that I think about it, that is a whole lot of cities. 82 games, man.

[Ocho]

Listen, listen. They don't do no room check. They don't do none of that.

[Joe]

Y' all do no room check.

[Unc]

I ain't got no curfew, Joey. I ain't got no curfew.

[Ocho]

The hell no. Only person gonna be room checking you is your damn girlfriend or your wife.

[Joe]

That's it.

[Yamanika Saunders]

Damn.

[Joe]

Oh, Lord have mercy.

[Unc]

I ain't know that joke, man.

[Joe]

They got security on the hall right there by the. By the elevator and the doors.

[Unc]

You got. Hey, you better be in your room by 11 o'.

[Ocho]

Clock. Nah, I'm just keeping.

[Joe]

They got come out of coming by, checking their rooms. No, now, you know, guys might be in the room playing video games or playing cars or something like that, but ain't nobody. Ain't no, ain't no dope, man.

[Ocho]

I got like, for instance, like, it's cities that, you know, you go to, you know, people. I ain't necessarily saying it's just, you know, females. I'm saying you may know some cats you went to school with, high school with, college with. And you know, you only go, hey, man, we go out, we get something to eat, let's go bowling, let's go do something. Like, it's this.

[Joe]

I ain't trying to see nobody I went to high school with and get that thing.

[Ocho]

Hey, hold up. You ain't double back on nothing you went to high school with?

[Unc]

No, well, you know, everybody you go to high school with, I mean, after year, by the time you made it, they done got kind of big. Joe.

[Ocho]

No, no, not, not early in your career, Ocho, you know what I'm saying? It may be something in high school, you know, you thought was nice. You ain't touching high school. So you like, hold on.

[Unc]

Nah, Joe. Everything nice in high school and got a little fluffy. They a little bell pepper.

[Ocho]

Joe, that's 10 years. That's your 10 year reunion. That's is but two, three years removed from high school.

[Unc]

Man, please, Joe, think about this. Joe, think about this. And I'm sure people in the chat could attest to this.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Those.

[Unc]

That was fine as hell. They used to be. Oh, they was, they was them. You know, as far as female, they don't. It don't, it don't be that years down the line, Joe.

[Ocho]

I'm saying 10, 15 years down the line. They may not be like that, but you still, you still gonna have. You gonna have a few Ocho, that's gonna really take care of themselves and keep themselves up. I don't know where y', all, where y' all from, you know, I mean, what y' all got going, what school y' all went to, but where I'm from.

[Unc]

Yeah, yeah. Hey, I'm just telling everybody get, you know, get a little healthy, a little weight on them, you know, Ain't nothing wrong with that. I'm just saying it's never what it used to be. That's not how I remember you in high school, man. It was that one. Like, I couldn't wait to come out in the hallway and see you walk by because you was that one.

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Unc]

You know, I Mean,

[Ocho]

I get what you're saying, Ocho, but there is a few, bro. There's a few.

[Joe]

Look, look, you know, because, you know.

[Ocho]

You know, like, in high school, they may be a little slim. You know what I mean? Two, three years out of high school, they didn't get a little weight.

[Joe]

Good weight, right?

[Ocho]

You know what I'm talking about?

[Unc]

Yeah, I feel you. I mean, I ain't really seen nothing like that, Joe. Most of the time you graduate. Then they had two, three kids, and, you know, they'd be a little bell pepper. Joe.

[Ocho]

Not all of them.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Unc]

I mean, yeah, maybe not. Where you from? I'm talking about down here in Miami.

[Ocho]

Conversation.

[Joe]

And, Joe, I hate to go against you, but. Ocho, right? Ocho, right? Oh, different.

[Ocho]

I'm telling you, look, two, three years out of high school. Let's say you at Savannah State, you a junior in college. Yeah. You mean to tell me it ain't no girls in high school that you done seen? Or you be like, boy, look, I

[Joe]

ain't backtrack in high school.

[Ari Chambers]

You didn't?

[Joe]

Nope.

[Ocho]

I mean, I ain't acting like I did.

[Joe]

I'm just, you know. Yeah, I know you did.

[Ocho]

I'm just saying.

[Joe]

I ain't acting like I did.

[Ocho]

I'm just saying.

[Joe]

But, hey, hey, O. Joe, I saw. Hey, I saw big things in their future in high school. I'm talking about, you know, a job promotion. I saw big things on the horizon. Just saying,

[Unc]

hey, now. Hey, Joe, you. Now you got me thinking. I'm trying to think, who was who. Who was that?

[Ocho]

Oh, you. You from Florida, boy. I know y' all got some.

[Yamanika Saunders]

Boy.

[Joe]

No way.

[Unc]

I'm trying to think who.

[Jake Brennan]

Who was.

[Unc]

Who was the IT person.

[Joe]

Oh, so most of them was having B. Joe, they was having babies. I mean, a lot of them had babies while we was in school.

[Unc]

Yeah.

[Joe]

I mean, the youngest was 13. She got pregnant at, like, 13. I think she had a kid at 14. We said she got pregnant in seventh grade, had the baby in eighth grade.

[Ocho]

Damn. I.

[Joe]

How old are you in the eighth grade? Eighth grade?

[Ocho]

Thirteen.

[Joe]

Thirteen.

[Ocho]

Fourteen. Thirteen. Hey, I had some girls in my elementary. Pregnant. Sixth grade? Yeah.

[Unc]

Joe.

[Ocho]

Wait.

[Unc]

Joey. Oh, you know what? You out there in Arkansas. Okay.

[Ocho]

Yeah, yeah. Project girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe]

I'm like. I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, Joe. That was it.

[Ocho]

Yeah. I ain't had no pretty girls in high school, bro.

[Joe]

They were pretty in high school.

[Unc]

Yeah.

[Joe]

I went to college for four years. That was high school. That. Four years ago.

[Ocho]

And you Mean, tell me. All the prettiness gone from.

[Lele Pons]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Interested. You weren't interested then.

[Unc]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Now you interested now.

[Unc]

Hey, listen, they always interested after. After what they choose don't work out.

[Joe]

Exactly. You want a guy to drink and smoke weed, you ain't want me. Hey, but look, hold up.

[Unc]

Hey, hey. Now. You want me two, three kids later?

[Ocho]

But hold up, hold up. You're a little more experienced now.

[Joe]

What, you ain't trying.

[Ocho]

What you trying to wipe?

[Joe]

You ain't trying to.

[Ocho]

You ain't trying to.

[Joe]

Microphone. I don't want it. No, I'm good.

[Unc]

What we trying to do, Joe, man,

[Ocho]

let me tell y' all something. At Little Rock Central, where I went to high school at. Let me tell y' all something. We had all the pretty girls at Central, bro. Like, if you went to another high school in Little Rock before our bell rang, when school was out, you see dudes driving through there.

[Joe]

You hear me? Damn.

[Ocho]

Yeah, dudes come through there. A lot of the girls that I went to high school with, especially the pretty ones, they probably dated somebody at a different school. You know what I mean? Yeah, but we had them, boy. We had them.

[Joe]

You hear me? Well, we didn't.

[Ocho]

Damn.

[Unc]

I mean. Hey, Joe. I think we had them, too, Joe. I mean, it's Miami, you know? I mean, it's a melting pot. Of course, everyone is gorgeous. But things change in a short amount. In a short amount of time, from by the time you graduate to four years later.

[Ocho]

So you ain't had, like, no little skinny girl in high school. And then two, three years later, she gained some good weight.

[Joe]

Yeah, I'm. I'm saying. Oh, Joe. I mean, Joe, me, my high school, my girlfriend, high school. When we broke up, I had my girlfriend in college. I ain't look back. I ain't messing with no. I ain't mess with nobody from.

[Ocho]

All right, okay.

[Unc]

And now you got me thinking. I wonder where the people.

[Joe]

I'm trying to think college is a different story.

[Ocho]

Call it something else, boy.

[Joe]

Oh, Lord.

[Unc]

I'm trying

[Joe]

to tell a story.

[Ocho]

Hey, yeah. Hey, college.

[Unc]

You got me thinking, Joe, what I

[Ocho]

got you thinking about.

[Unc]

And now I'm trying. I'm trying to. I'm trying to think back who was fine back in high school. And I wonder where they at and what they doing now. And what do they look like now?

[Joe]

After all, you ain't worried about nobody right now. You might have been worried about them when you got out of college, when you got out of Oregon State.

[Ocho]

That's the fact.

[Unc]

They were on the topic, huh? That's all. The fact that we on the topic, like, it's jogging my memory. I'm like, damn. I wonder where so and so at from 1995, 1996.

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Unc]

That's all,

[Joe]

man. I had this one. Boy, hey. She went to a rival high school. Boy, she was so fine like that. What.

[Unc]

What's her name? Huh?

[Joe]

I ain't telling.

[Unc]

We might be able to find them.

[Joe]

I know where she is. My sister, see, all the time.

[Unc]

Oh, for real?

[Joe]

Yeah, he looking for.

[Unc]

Okay, my bad. She's still fine.

[Ocho]

He don't want to say, man, she pushing 60 here,

[Unc]

and that might be. That might be the one. Never mind.

[Joe]

We broke up.

[Unc]

What you did wrong?

[Joe]

I ain't do nothing wrong.

[Unc]

You just said y' all broke up.

[Yamanika Saunders]

We did.

[Unc]

Well, 98 of the time. It's the man.

[Joe]

Look here, see, if I. If I tell the story, everybody gonna know who it is, and I don't want people to know who it is. I don't want to put a business out there.

[Unc]

Okay, okay, okay, okay. My bad, My bad.

[Ocho]

Hold on. The people you went to high school go know.

[Joe]

Everybody go. Yes.

[Unc]

Oh, wait, hold on. Y' all was together, and it was private.

[Joe]

Hey, no, hey, no. Hey, man, look here, man. You know what I'm saying? You know.

[Unc]

Are you a creeper?

[Joe]

You know that on y', all, I had padded feet.

[Unc]

Okay, I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you.

[Joe]

You know, we. We quietly broke up at.

[Ocho]

Yeah, I know, man. I ain't gonna lie. I ain't gonna lie. Some of the best times of my life, bro, if I'm keeping it real with y', all, was at high school, bro.

[Unc]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe]

Oh, yeah.

[Ocho]

High school was fun, bro. College, College. When I got to college, I could see my dreams right in front of me. Meaning, like, the NBA. I was so focused on that, it wasn't nothing gonna throw me off my pivot. Same thing in high school. But in high school, I had so much fun because I went to high school with a lot of cats who I really grew up with. High school was fun, bro.

[Joe]

You threw caution to the wind. Boy, I am so glad there ain't no way I could have survived with social media now in high school with

[Ocho]

this, man, what you talking about?

[Unc]

Hey, with that. With the access and overexposure.

[Ocho]

Hey, what you talking about?

[Joe]

No, sir.

[Ocho]

Hey, listen, because when I was in high school, boy, you had to. You had to go check. You had to go home and check that call ID to see who Calls you. You know what I'm saying?

[Unc]

Don't you know about that? What you know about that? Call id, Joe.

[Ocho]

Hey, Ojo. I should be. I go straight home and check it. Trying to see. Trying to see if this. Hey, let me see if she hit me up or something. Let me see what's going on.

[Joe]

Yeah, but that was a good old day. Yes. You find Ocho, you talk about. Oh, bye. I'm talking about Stack. I'm talking about that girl had body. Body.

[Ocho]

Hey, hey.

[Joe]

Because.

[Ocho]

Because, you know, when you're in high school, they fine for no reason. They ain't got to work out or nothing.

[Joe]

Come on.

[Ocho]

Hey, what's up, Right?

[Joe]

Yeah, yeah. You, you, you. You with me for a minute, man, Let me stop. I get myself. Drake, Let me get. Hey, speaking of sparks. Two days after the Knicks claimed their first NBA title in 53 years, Mikhail Bridges confirmed owner James Dolan issued a 10 weeks no sex man prior to the team big win. 10 weeks.

[Ocho]

Damn.

[Joe]

Alone. I mean, I heard. You hear, Ocho, you know, the fight game. And Joe, you've heard fighters, they go away and no sex. And they want to build that testosterone. Ten weeks.

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Unc]

And you know. You know damn well none of them boys listen to that shit. NBA players.

[Ocho]

You don't think so, Ocho? The majority. Hold on. The majority of them guys on the Knicks, though, they married. Huh?

[Joe]

I ain't got nothing to say.

[Ocho]

Oh, y' all ain't got nothing to say? Y' all don't think. Y' all don't think. Them dudes. Y' all don't think they.

[Joe]

I do.

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Sam J]

Yeah.

[Joe]

10 weeks a long time, though.

[Ocho]

Yeah, it is. It is. Especially when you used to going like every other.

[Joe]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you go harder to paint.

[Ocho]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe]

Then all of a sudden you say, hey, bad plea.

[Ocho]

Yeah, see, I know that probably. I know that's hard for you on Ocho. Cause y' all thinking like, here about every two, three days. I need. I need to. I need to make this thing throw up. You know what I'm saying?

[Joe]

Every two or three days. I'm talking about every two or three hours. What the hell you talking about? Hey, what you.

[Unc]

Hey, you know. You know what? Hey, Joe, I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm not as active as I used to be. You know, I'm one once every two weeks, maybe.

[Ocho]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unc]

I don't know. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm beyond. You know, we family. I can talk to y' All.

[Ocho]

Yeah, yeah, I know.

[Unc]

I play around a lot, but you can tell by my voice and my delivery, I'm not joking.

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Unc]

Like, you know, once every two weeks. Sometimes maybe, you know, twice in two weeks. I don't know.

[SimplePractice Advertiser]

Why.

[Kerry Brownstein]

I just.

[Unc]

Maybe because I'm on the go so much,

[Ocho]

and wifey, she ain't. She don't live with you, do she?

[Unc]

No. She often. It feels like she live with me, you know?

[Ocho]

Yeah. Okay.

[Unc]

Okay.

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Look here. As I've gotten older, there are things, you know, I don't have the same level of appetite.

[Unc]

Right.

[Joe]

I don't. You know, I don't work out like I want to, but that there.

[Unc]

Hey, hey, you know, you thinking because I'm older now,

[Joe]

I don't know what your problem is. That ain't got nothing to do with me, Ocho. You need to figure that out. You need to talk to somebody about that.

[Unc]

I'm just thinking how it was. Hey, hey, hey, Joe. I'm thinking about how it was in my 20s and 30s.

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Unc]

As opposed to how I am now, where it's like, no, you know, most of the time I initiate stuff, but when it does happen, she has to be the one to initiate everything. I think age catching up to me, boy.

[Ocho]

You think so?

[Joe]

Look, a little bit I was. Was that. Don't get me wrong, but I guess I can. I can afford to tamper it back, right?

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Joe]

You know what I'm saying?

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Joe]

I mean, let's just say Usain boat still fast.

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Joe]

He ain't what he once was, but he's still fast.

[Ocho]

Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah. I get your drift. I get it, I get it, I get it.

[Unc]

It might be something wrong with me, bro. I don't know.

[Ocho]

No, ain't nothing wrong with me. You probably just want to go a lot. Got a lot going on, you know? I mean, you can't.

[Unc]

Yeah.

[Ocho]

You already know. You can't be. Still can't. Yeah. I mean.

[Jake Brennan]

Yeah.

[Ocho]

Hey,

[Joe]

can't you on the right day. Hey, hey, Hercules, Hercules, Hercules. Do the right thing.

[Ocho]

All right? It's.

[Joe]

I mean, look, look, man, you know, Ocho, look, good times don't owe either us anything. You know? I think the thing is that when you know what, you know, being professional athletes and having. You're like, it's not the same. But, you know, once you set the tab, I might not even be hungry, right? Once you set the table, I will eat. I will eat a belly full.

[Ocho]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe]

You know, hey, let me get some of the mashed. Potatoes. Let me get some of them, you know, Let me get some Hawaiian rolls, you know. Hey, I take a slice of ham.

[Lele Pons]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Hey, let me get some turkey. Oh, oh, I take oxtail.

[Ocho]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe]

Cornbread, too. I take a slice of cornbread. Yeah.

[Ocho]

A little bit of this, a little bit of that.

[Joe]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ocho]

There you go. Yeah, yeah.

[Joe]

But I don't know what is wrong with you, Ocho, but maybe you know what? Maybe your testosterone level are low. You might need to go get your testosterone levels checked.

[Unc]

Hey, y' all told me to take them supplements. And don't them supplements help with that?

[Ocho]

Oh, no, this. What this was going on. I'm starting to put two and two together. See, you eat a lot of McDonald's,

[Joe]

so it lowers your testosterone level.

[Ocho]

It lowers your testosterone level because you ain't getting the proper proteins that you need in your body. Magnesium, sodium, ain't no way you getting out. Hey, look, you ain't getting the right fibers in your body. Yeah, man, you need to get right, homeboy.

[Joe]

You got to realize you were. You were an athlete, and so you had to build that testosterone, and plus your adrenaline level. So you had that fight or flight. Think about how many times you had that fight or flight. Yeah, you just burned through that reserve.

[Ocho]

Yeah. Yeah,

[Joe]

Boy, I think you damn. Probably at zero now.

[Unc]

Yeah, damn. Y' all sound like I ain't got no hope.

[Joe]

Hey, you got hope now.

[Ocho]

I'm just saying it's still time.

[Unc]

Hey, Joe, y'.

[Yamanika Saunders]

All.

[Unc]

Y' all supposed to send me the supplements to take, man.

[Yamanika Saunders]

That.

[Unc]

That provide all the magnesium and stuff.

[Ocho]

Oh, no, but your eating habits.

[Joe]

You cannot exercise a bad diet.

[Fred Armisen]

Yeah.

[Joe]

In a situation like that, the question is yours.

[Ocho]

Yeah, I mean, the question.

[Joe]

What do you want to do, Ocho? You want to be like. I'm not saying it's going to cut. I mean, but it'll be better than what it is. Do you want your levels to come back to what they were or close to what they were? Obviously, once you hit 30, your testosterone level stop to dip.

[Unc]

Hey, what. Doug Flutie and Frank Thomas taking that commercial. That's what it's about, ain't it?

[Joe]

That's. That's. You got to be careful with that. You got to make sure. You got to do blood work. You got to get all that stuff taken care of, because, you know, black people, black men, especially black men, have a high rate of prostate cancer.

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Joe]

So you got to be careful.

[Ocho]

Hey, hey, hey. You gotta slow down on them glizzies. Yeah. You gotta Slow down, bro.

[Unc]

Hey, I had. Had two at. At the.

[Ocho]

See, I'm talking about.

[Unc]

Yeah, at the stadium.

[Ocho]

See, I'm talking about.

[Unc]

Make a big man making fun of me eating my hot dogs. But you ain't gonna. You ain't gonna dress it up or nothing. Oh, no. Somebody. Hey, hey, Jay. They making fun of me. Cause I'm eating my hot dogs plain. I mean, condiments cost. I ain't paying for that, too.

[Ocho]

Oh, man. Man.

[Joe]

So guess what? If prescribed, new sexual health patients get $15, their first order of sparks on a reoccurring plan. Connect with a provider at Ro Co nicap to find out if prescription rose sparks are right for you. Told you, you gotta change your diet, bro, because as you get older, you can't.

[Unc]

You.

[Joe]

Because as a young man, you produce bounds and bounds.

[Ocho]

Yep.

[Joe]

Yeah, once you hit 30. Yeah, that's why you gotta change something, bro.

[Unc]

And I'm gonna hit 50.

[Joe]

That's why you can't lose weight like you once could. That's why you can't cut up like you once could, because your body don't produce the testosterone that it once did. That's why it's easy for a man to get in shape than a woman, because a man has higher testosterone level, produce estrogen. Estrogen. That's why it's easy for a man. That's why you hear women say, man, you don't drop 10, 15 pounds in a month. Two months.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Yeah.

[Joe]

It take me a year to do you lose that.

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Joe]

You have big muscles. Big muscles require energy. Energy burns, fat.

[Unc]

Hey, the doctor. The doctor could describe some testosterone pills for your boy.

[Joe]

Now, you would have to get blood work.

[Unc]

Yeah, I could do that. You know, I like. I like needles.

[Ocho]

Hey, but you got. You got to have. You got to. You got to clean up your eating habits, bro.

[Unc]

Okay, I could.

[Sam J]

I could.

[Unc]

I McDonald's once a week, then I won't do it like, three, three, three, four times a week. I could do that.

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Unc]

Yeah. But I got to. I got to. I got to worry about.

[Joe]

I mean, if you want. If you want. If you want to come back, if you want to put down a ring demonstration like, three, four times a week like you once could.

[Unc]

Yeah, okay. Okay. Okay.

[Ocho]

Yeah, he. He ain't ready to make that change. I could tell. I could tell. I could tell. I could tell.

[Joe]

Yeah, I see the hesitation that. I see the hesitancy.

[Unc]

Hey, listen, I'm. Hey, I'm willing to do anything to improve my life, you know, any. Anything, you know? You know, I Mean, you know, that one time. That one time every two weeks is. Oh, no, that's. Hey, that's a demonstration in itself.

[Ocho]

Yeah. Okay.

[Unc]

You know what? I kind of embarrassed myself in New York, bro. I kind of embarrassed myself in New York.

[Ocho]

What happened, man?

[Unc]

Well, hey, but about. About 50. 50 seconds to a minute, boy.

[Ocho]

A dud. A whole dud. Yeah.

[Joe]

50 seconds.

[Unc]

Yeah.

[Ocho]

Too excited.

[Unc]

Yeah, it was. Yeah, it was rough, boy.

[Ocho]

Too damn excited.

[Joe]

Premature.

[Unc]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it was ugly, boy.

[Ocho]

Hey, hey, Ocho, it don't make you no bad, brother, man.

[Joe]

Yeah, we all had one of them.

[Unc]

Hey, hey, Joe, honestly.

[Joe]

Yeah, I have now. I mean, you. I was much younger. Yeah, I had. You know, that's why you got to control your breathing. Yeah, Yeah. I be. I'd be thinking about something else. I mean, I'd be like, oh, man, that's an elephant. That's a treat. I can't be thinking about what I'm thinking, man. Please.

[Unc]

Yeah, it was tough, boy. It was sad, you know?

[Ocho]

I mean, ain't nothing you can say, man. Just.

[Unc]

No, I tried to make an excuse. I was like, damn.

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Unc]

Hey.

[Ocho]

Yeah, just roll over, take a nap, bro.

[Unc]

And she. She held me tight, though. She held me tight.

[Joe]

You already know.

[Ocho]

Hey.

[Joe]

Oh, hey, Joe. You already know it's a bad time when she started just kissing it. Oh, baby, it's okay.

[Ocho]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe]

Just get off me.

[Unc]

Yeah, yeah, I was. I was a little discouraged, but just for her to hold me and, you know, rub my head and stuff. Man, it's gonna be all right.

[Ocho]

So, yeah.

[Joe]

She rubbing your back like you're a child, like your mama. Your grandma used to do your back. It's okay, baby.

[Ocho]

Yeah. Damn. You ain't. You ain't bounced back. You ain't.

[Unc]

That's what the testosterone come in at.

[Chelsea Handler]

I ain't.

[Joe]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Ocho]

Oh, you. You couldn't catch your second win?

[Unc]

Nah, I ain't had no. Yeah, it was rough, boy. It was rough.

[Ocho]

Oh, man.

[Joe]

See, you know, back. Hey, you know, back. Back in the day, you used to pull a double or triple?

[Unc]

Triple.

[Joe]

You can pull a triple shift, triple with no problem.

[Unc]

Hey, with no problem at all.

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Now look at you now, look at you. Take you out, pull up the double shift, ask you to work overtime, you work overtime. I don't Work two days straight as it is.

[Ocho]

Out there fighting for your life.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Lele Pons]

Yeah.

[Ocho]

Hard, but it's fair.

[Joe]

Sad, but it's true. Better you than me, though.

[Unc]

Yeah.

[SimplePractice Advertiser]

No.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Yeah.

[Unc]

It's all good. Don't. Don't make Fun of me now, don't.

[Joe]

I don't make no fun of you. Look, it could happen at any given moment.

[Unc]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ocho]

Hey, it's a happen to plenty of people in the chat, I'm sure, bro. They can.

[Joe]

They can relate.

[Unc]

Yeah, but. But not at my big age, Joe. At my big age.

[Joe]

Just be. Just be glad. Just be glad it still work at you.

[Ocho]

Hello. Hello.

[Unc]

Yeah, you're right. You're right.

[Sam J]

Hello.

[Joe]

Right, because I. Hey, it gonna be a time. Ain't no time soon, but they ain't gonna be able to do nothing but look at Obama.

[Ocho]

Oh, man, don't.

[Joe]

Or I get them two popsicle stick of the rubber band. You put the popsicle stick together that rubber band. That's all I got for you, mama. I'mma keep it whooped out. That's all I got. I'm sorry.

[Ocho]

Yeah. Oh, man.

[Joe]

Hey, you got them old people. You see them on the porch? Joe and Oo, just rocking, rocking back and forth, baby. You remember? Yeah, I sure do, dude, that's just a figment of my imagination.

[Unc]

Damn. I'mma bounce back though, man.

[Joe]

But I'm saying go to the doctor, get your blood work done, let him see where your levels are. Hey, they got. They got something to help you out. Yeah, but the problem is Ocho, once they. Once you go to the doctor and he get your levels back up, boy

[Ocho]

be hard. It's gonna be hard to tame him, man.

[Joe]

He go hard, it's harder to a. Going to be hard to turn it off.

[Unc]

She got. Hey, don't she got insurance now? She got insurance.

[Joe]

Yeah, well, cat boy, see that wheel? See that wheelchair up in the corner? Talk about what you got a wheelchair for? Tomorrow you'll find out.

[Ocho]

Oh, damn, man.

[Unc]

Oh, man. Hey, just. Just rem.

[Joe]

How cambodio.

[Unc]

39.

[Joe]

Okay, so she like seven, eight years younger than you. I know, Joe, your people. Hey, and then, you know, hey, where. Please.

[Ocho]

Yeah, What? What?

[Joe]

What? You get that sweet spot by 35 or 45. Yeah, yeah, man, you talking about. I'm talking about they. They thinking the wheelchair rubber. And, you know, wheelchair got no.

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Ocho going to the doctor.

[Unc]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Get your blood work done.

[Unc]

Yeah, I got you. Yeah, I got you. I got you.

[Joe]

You'll be all right.

[Unc]

I got you.

[Joe]

I'll be all right.

[Unc]

I do. I got.

[Joe]

But just go ahead and tell her beforehand, because she gonna be like, well, you. You ain't never performed like this before.

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Unc]

Yeah. I mean, no, no, they know, you know, in the beginning, you know, when you first Meet.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Unc]

Yeah.

[Joe]

This ain't no first meet. This when you 22. This is when you a teenager.

[Unc]

Yeah, Ocho, I could summons it up, you know, on the first time.

[Ocho]

Ocho, she gonna look back at you and say, what is wrong with you?

[Unc]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Come on now.

[Unc]

Come on now.

[Joe]

Yeah. Hey, Ocho, like your boy. They all in the closet looking upon their face. Come on, who helped you? Ain't no way. Ain't no way you did this by yourself. That is just me.

[Unc]

Hey.

[Joe]

So just go ahead and say hey, I'm getting my levels checked out. Make sure everything's okay. X, Y, and Z. Yeah. Hey, your best year, what you have? 1600. That's a 1900 receiving yard season. That's what you about to put down. Yeah. 115 catches, 1900 yards, 16 touchdowns.

[Ocho]

On your.

[Unc]

Ooh, I like that. Yeah, I need to get back to that.

[Ari Chambers]

What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers.

[Sam J]

Hey, what's up, y'?

[Unc]

All?

[Sam J]

It's your girl, Sam J.

[Ari Chambers]

And we're the host of Everyone Watches Women's Sports, a new podcast from Together. And I heart women's sports because, let's

[Sam J]

be real, women's sports is giving us way too much to talk about these days.

[Ari Chambers]

So Kelsey Findler, she became the first female solo rower to go from California to Hawaii.

[Sam J]

My first thought is just like, what's up with the snacks? Like, what are we eating?

[Ari Chambers]

The highlights, the rivalries, the breakout stars, the moments that take over your entire

[Sam J]

timeline and the conversations that start during the game and somehow keep going all week. Every week, we're breaking down the biggest stories across women's sports.

[Ari Chambers]

Naomi Osaka showing out. She beat. So Sabalenka shout out to you, Naomi, you get the Palm. Naomi, you get the Palm for that.

[Sam J]

Because we're not just interested in what happened. We're interested in why everyone's talking about it. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to Everyone watches women's Sports on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Jake Brennan]

I'm Jake Brennan, and on my podcast, Disgraceland, I tell the stories behind music's biggest names, the moments that shaped them, haunted them, and changed music history forever. Like how the story of the Foo Fighters and Dave Grohl isn't just about music. Imagine that you're in the biggest band on the planet, as Dave Grohl was in 1994 in Nirvana, and the phone rings and you learn that your singer, your friend, the reluctant voice of a generation, Kurt Cobain is dead. This is a story of fame, pressure, friendship, and the weight of fulfilling your destiny. Learn more about the moment everything changed. Disgraceland is part of the Exactly Right network. Listen to new episodes every Tuesday, bonus episodes Thursday, and rewinds on Sunday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. Every week the news gets worse, the world gets crazier, and Yamanika is here to tell whoever's responsible, you're the problem.

[Yamanika Saunders]

If you come over here to play games, I' ma check you. Okay? If you do some in the news that don't sound good, I'mma play you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Join Yamanika Saunders as she breaks down the week's most problematic stories on her new podcast. You're the Problem with Yamaneika.

[Yamanika Saunders]

Do you know I just found out who Sydney Sweeney was.

[Chelsea Handler]

New episodes weekly every Wednesday as part of my new network, the Dear Chelsea Network.

[Yamanika Saunders]

If he got a bunch of women, then I should have a bunch of men do better or do less so I don't have to do so much.

[Chelsea Handler]

So join Yamaneke each episode as she answers one question. Who's the problem?

[Yamanika Saunders]

I'm Yamanika and I'm out. Listen to youo're the Problem with Yamaneka on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Hey, Portlandia fans.

[Fred Armisen]

Kerry Brownstein and Fred Armisen here, you

[Kerry Brownstein]

know us, or rather, you know them. Tony and Candace, Nina and Lance, Spike and yes, the chicken.

[Fred Armisen]

We've played a lot of iconic characters over the years, but today we're showing up as ourselves to tell you about Podlandia. AO Rewatch, our brand new podcast.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Each week, we'll revisit an episode of Portlandia from the very beginning, breaking down the sketches, exploring the backstories of our most iconic characters, revisiting the Portland locations you know and love, and opening up about our creative process.

[Fred Armisen]

How did any of this get made? Why do we think that was a good idea? We're ready to talk about it.

[Kerry Brownstein]

And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Krisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more.

[Fred Armisen]

Kyle is going for it. Here you fully improvised. Not just words, but a song about.

[Joe]

Well, I thought he was gonna write.

[Unc]

I thought you were all gonna write a song.

[Fred Armisen]

I remember you thinking that.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Listen to Podlandia. Ayo. Rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Lele Pons]

My first guest is Paris Hilton. Shakira.

[4Patriots Advertiser]

L.

[Lele Pons]

I'm so excited.

[Joe]

On a bouncy bed, you have surprises, many surprises.

[Lele Pons]

Welcome to Suite 305, where the group chat comes to life. What up?

[Joe]

Hola, amiga.

[Unc]

Hola, amiga.

[Lele Pons]

What up?

[Joe]

You're the only person I know that

[Lele Pons]

loves a yellow starburst.

[Ocho]

It's lemonade.

[Lele Pons]

This is Sweet305. Listen to Sweet305 with Lele Pons as part of my Cultura podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast or whatever. Wherever you get your podcasts like that.

[Joe]

You know what? I have all my kids together, and I'm Have Jordan to post a picture.

[Unc]

Yeah,

[Joe]

my kids don't have none of my personality. I mean, some of it, like my daughter Kayla, she kind of like, quiet. She kind of like, to herself. She moody, explosive personality. But as far as like that, none of them took that from me. I'm talking about none of them. They got all they.

[Ocho]

Mom.

[Joe]

I say thank you, Jesus. Thank you.

[Ocho]

I can't say the same. I can't say the same.

[Unc]

They got your personality, Joe.

[Ocho]

I wouldn't. Nah. My daughter and my youngest son do. My oldest son, he. He a little different, Uncle Ocho. I got.

[Joe]

I got.

[Ocho]

I gotta keep my eye on his ass, but, yeah, he different. He different, you know? Yeah, he. Hey, if I'm just keeping it real with y', all chat, y' all hear me out. I done caught him a few times, you know, doing some. Doing some stuff he ain't got no damn business doing.

[Unc]

Hey, Joe, you gotta think about it now. When you was that age, I wasn't doing.

[Ocho]

No, I wasn't. I was his age, Ocho. I wasn't doing that, bro. No, I was too locked in. I was too locked in. You know what I mean? On what it was I was trying to accomplish. You know what I'm saying?

[Unc]

Right?

[Ocho]

And, yeah, you know how it is, man. You know, but, but, but when you get up in them age 17, 18, 19, your hormones go to raising as a young man. And boy, look, you looking to get that thing wet at the end of the day.

[Unc]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You like Chris. You right. You like Chris.

[Ocho]

Yeah.

[Unc]

Trying to go sailing now.

[Joe]

Yeah, I'm going explore. Hey, I'm a gelling. I'm going to discover. I'm gonna discover something, man. I don't know where, but I would discover something. Hey, but, no, but I. But. But I. I look. I look at my kids, and sometimes I catch him. I was like, damn, my Son, my son had two girlfriends his entire life. He broke up with the one and then he married the other one. You've been married for, I think, five years. My daughters, I'm talking about, they nothing. Nothing like me, right? I'm talking about absolutely nothing. I knock on wood. Thank you, Jesus. But I just knew I was like, man, God gonna pay me back for this. He got to.

[Ocho]

That's what I'm saying, bro. Real talk. I. I can't make this up. Okay, Ocho, check this out. So when my son was in, he had to be about. He had to be about eighth grade. Ninth grade. So, you know, he said, man, he. You know, he playing at basketball games. After the basketball game, he said, dad, can my girlfriend come over? This is school night. It's already about 9 o'.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Clock.

[Ocho]

School night. He said, making my girlfriend come over for, you know, a couple hours. You know me. I'm like, yeah, man, she can come over. So she come over. Now, I'm keeping a close eye. I'm like, y' all sit y' all ass in the kitchen on the couch, you know, watch tv. Ain't no going to the bedroom. Ain't gonna be none of that. You know what I mean? Just keeping it 100. So I leave them in the kitchen. So when I do come back in the kitchen, I'm making noise because I want you to know I'm coming. In case you're trying to do something sneak, you need to get. You. You need to get right. About two, three times, I guess they had done got comfortable. Hell, I come back through there. By the third time, the lights off. I'm like, damn, lights off in this. I go in there, I go in the kitchen, I go, I turn the lights. I'm like, damn, why it's so dark in here, boy? There ain't nobody in the kitchen.

[Joe]

Come on, Joe.

[Ocho]

Nobody in the kitchen, Uncle Ocho. But to the right, to the right of the living room, it's a bathroom. It's a. He got a light on. And I could see people in there moving around. And I'm like, hey, hey, man, y' all, come on, man. She gotta go home, bro. You gotta go.

[Joe]

What's going on?

[Chelsea Handler]

So.

[Ocho]

So that's why I say, boy, listen. Cause it's stuff like that I wouldn't have never tried with my mama.

[Joe]

No.

[Ocho]

You feel what I'm saying?

[Joe]

No, no. First of all, I was too embarrassed because we didn't have no indoor plumbing. We have nothing. So what? Nobody coming to the house. And even when we got the New house. Wasn't no. I couldn't in good conscience right have. No. Now, I ain't say in the driveway, in the car, but you ain't coming in the house.

[Unc]

Hey, that's funny, bro.

[Joe]

Nah, nah, nah.

[Unc]

And Joe. Hey, you. Hey, Joe Light.

[Ocho]

Where you like a mug? Let me tell you something, boy. You think you finna bring a child in here and you a child? You think, Boy, please.

[Joe]

Exactly.

[Ocho]

We ain't doing that. Ocho.

[Joe]

They already. Hey, I had my daughter Jo. A boy. You thought I was jogging, Anthony. Mun. Munos. The way I was blocking,

[Ocho]

I had

[Joe]

that chime on the door every time. Hey, come on, look here. I said, guys, cuz, all her friends stayed. They stayed over. I said, look, I said, I'm responsible for y'.

[Ocho]

All.

[Joe]

I said, if y' all can't do right, y' all gonna need to go.

[Ocho]

That's all I'm saying.

[Joe]

I said, ain't gonna be no sneaking, ain't gonna be no go curling on like that. I said, y' all just need to go. I said, kayla, I'm sorry, baby. They gonna just have to go. Go home. I say. Cause Big, y' all done told everybody y' all at Mr. Shannon's house and I'm responsible for you. I said, ain't nobody. I said, ain't no. I said, ain't nobody coming over here.

[Unc]

I didn't. I didn't have that problem already too. Now, my old. My older daughters, you know, they. I mean, they grown. They grown, grown, you know, got their cardi working, you know, doing their thing. My 11 year old baby Kennedy. After school, school over. Daddy, no school is over. I just want to know because some of my friends come over and we have a sleepover. I say, hey, listen, Mama, we not doing that because I'm not being responsible for nobody.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Kids.

[Joe]

Exactly.

[Unc]

Nothing to happen over here. Now, I know you're only 11. You probably ain't doing nothing wrong. You probably. It's probably innocent. But even still, I don't want nobody kids under my supervision. And I act like a child myself.

[Ocho]

Because you know what? You know what? They don't understand, bro. We was once 17, 18, 19. Once trying to be sneaky, man, I know all these damn tricks you trying to pull up in here.

[Joe]

Come on, man.

[Unc]

You know. You know, I'm. I'm a grandfather now. Yeah, see, you know cj, CJ got a. CJ got a little dog, I think. My son, daughter, she four or five again. We're getting ready to be fired.

[Ocho]

Damn.

[Joe]

Hey, yeah, man, look Here, man, I thought I was sleep. I. I didn't like I wait to my grandma go to sleep, man. I ease out the house. I didn't know until much years later. Libby say, Granny say Libby. I prayed a minute a night for that boy. I'm thinking, I'm being sleep. Hey, she's. I'm thinking she sleep right? I'm sneaking out the house. She said, I heard that call. She had a stick, man, please. I had to. Hey, me and my homeboy, we had to get it. We got it in. Hey, everybody knew who I was. I just needed one to ride a shotgun with me. Cause I was gonna. I was gonna get me, me. Now I needed somebody. That's why you gotta have that one. Guy better take one for the team. Even if ain't a team.

[Ocho]

Hello.

[Joe]

He'll take it.

[Ocho]

Hello.

[Joe]

Yeah, I had it, but, you know. But I got my girl. Hey, my father gonna take care of her.

[Ocho]

You gotta have one of them.

[Joe]

You gotta have one. Got that. He was the one. It didn't matter. It didn't matter.

[Unc]

It didn't matter.

[Joe]

She could be 500 pounds, right? She could be. She could be 3, 11 and 92 pounds. Yeah. Right up his alley.

[Unc]

Damn.

[Ocho]

Take it down through there. I already know it. I already know it.

[Joe]

So. But that was. Them were the days, Joe. I was like, lord have mercy. I was like. Because I was thinking, like, I wonder if anybody else doing this.

[Ocho]

Everybody doing it, bro.

[Joe]

Yeah, but see, I couldn't. I couldn't. Like, you know, my man, I snuck such and such in the house. My mom was working and so forth. They were gone. And I. Man, I couldn't, man. I couldn't do it. I went, man, please. Ain't nobody bringing on them calves down them iron ass bed. All that squeaking going on.

[Ocho]

Hey, you know, like I tell y', all, my oldest been called a couple times. I know he gonna be probably embarrassed cause he be watching the show.

[Joe]

But,

[Ocho]

you know, like real talk, like, you know, we live in a little cul de sac where it ain't but, like three houses in this gated community. So it's probably 10 to 12 cameras as soon as you turn on the block. So it ain't nothing you can do that. It ain't gonna. It ain't somebody gonna see. Even if my neighbor see it, they gonna come, right? Oh, we see a. We see a car parked back there. And who is that? Oh, okay. All right. Let me check on that. You know what I'm saying? Hey, Ojo.

[Joe]

He had to.

[Ocho]

He had to sit out there in the car with his girlfriend. One time, I guess they had been out there about two, three hours. The car didn't cut off. It didn't stop. It wouldn't start.

[Joe]

So damn. So her dad.

[Ocho]

Her dad calling. But I don't. You know, I'm like, man, I don't know what the hell you talking about. Like, what you talking about? Like, I ain't thinking my son out there, man, that man out there, you know. I said, man, don't you know, bro, I once used the car at times. I know what you out there doing, bro. You know what I'm saying? They think we crazy, man. Like, bro, why you think I'm so crazy, man? I know everything that going on for sure,

[Joe]

Abs. And that's what I'm saying. I'm like, guys, y' all trying to pull something that I. I did. Whatever you think about. I done thought about it twice. Whatever you did, I did it three times.

[Ocho]

You can't fool me.

[Joe]

I said, y' all gotta realize. I said, the differences between. I was. I was a. A star athlete. Everybody in the surrounding condoms knew who I was, right? So it was nothing. Like I said, I had a homeboy. Hey, I had a homeboy that. Hey, we be walking the street. Well, you know, I. I. You know, I want to, but. Hey, hey, I called my homeboy. I should have. I should have had liberty to have you call in and ask him. Oh, yeah. Oh, man, I already know Shop gonna have him. He said, I take leftovers. Hey, hey, I still eat leftovers to this day. I could call it right now. To this day. Hey, man, look here. I got something I need you to do, man. She probably. Hey, I'm telling me. She ain't no looking now. Like my grandma used to say, boy, she ain't easy on the eyes. She hard on the eyes, man. Sharp. You know that ain't. Hey, you know that, right?

[Unc]

Yeah, he got it.

[Lele Pons]

Yes.

[Joe]

Right? To this day. Take it for the team. You need one. Because, you know, most of the time, every. See, the thing is, if you think about it, O Joe.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Ain't a whole lot of teams travel with tens because they want to be the baddest one in the group.

[Unc]

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[Joe]

They gonna Travel with a 10. They're gonna be whoever the 10, they might. Might be one more. But then you're gonna go a lot of, like, eight, seven, six, and you only have a two, three in there. Cause, you know, guess what? They got one. They gonna need one to take one for the team.

[Ocho]

Hey, hey, cuz, guess what? Cause she gonna be hating. Boy, that look. That two of that four in the. In the group.

[Joe]

He gonna be hating.

[Ocho]

Oh, she gonna be hating.

[Jake Brennan]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Shut up.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Unc]

Hey. Hey, you. You trying to help.

[Joe]

You talking for. You know, you used to be down there on the car. Hey, you be down there like this here. You on one leg in the passenger window. You like this here. Hey, what's up?

[Kerry Brownstein]

What's up?

[Joe]

She in the back. He ain't no. Will you be quiet? Damn.

[Unc]

It's always one.

[Joe]

Yeah. Ain't nobody talking to you. First of all, you not driving. You in the back seat for a reason. Cause they don't want nobody to see you. I'm talking to her or the driver.

[Ocho]

Yeah. Yeah. Every time. Hey, everybody lying, boy,

[Joe]

I want the day to come back.

[Ocho]

Like I said.

[Joe]

Thank you. They got nothing like they pop, huh?

[Unc]

Good day. That was a good day, though.

[Joe]

That was a fun time. They were. But all you had was like, man. Man, what you gonna be like, man, when you get 25? I said, Man, I'm being the NFL. He'd be like, man, sharp. I know, boy. I know you gonna have them. Oh, boy, you gonna have them. My grandma used to tell me all the time, boy, good times ain't gonna owe you nothing. It won't and it don't. That's why. That's what Joe with Ocho be talking about, man, you need to get out. You need to go.

[Ocho]

You done it.

[Joe]

Done it.

[Ocho]

O joke. He didn't. He already threw that thing apart, boy. He didn't. Threw it apart at plenty of time.

[Joe]

Look at it. Vegas. I used to come to. I used to come to Vegas.

[Unc]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Oh, Lord.

[Unc]

Hey, Joe. See, Unc done had a time, right? But I never had to. I never had the opportunity to have the kind of time he had. I wasn't a clubber. There's certain things I still want to do, even at my big age, that I was never able to experience, even during my playing days.

[Joe]

What you want to experience?

[Unc]

I want to know what it's like to go to the club. I want to know what it's like, Joe. To pop bottles. I want to know what it's like to stand on the couch, Joe. No, I want to know what that feel like. I still have yet to do that, Joe. I done been in Miami all my life, Joe. I ain't been to club live yet, Joe. I done been to booby trap one time that. Cause my older daughter took.

[Ocho]

Hey, Ocho. Ocho. It's overrated. It's overrated. But when you go there and you hunt like we used to do back when we were young, we used to be hunting. We used to be out hunting.

[Joe]

Hear me? Yeah, for sure.

[Ocho]

You know, we going in there thinking like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna find me something new tonight. Yeah.

[Joe]

Yeah, I'm gonna.

[Ocho]

Something new. Yeah.

[Unc]

Now, it can't be overrated, Joe. From the stories I'd be hearing, Joe, it can't be overrated.

[Joe]

But what's you. But once you've done it. Joe said, once you've been there and done.

[Ocho]

Yeah, see, you ain't. See, Ocho. You go party now, you ain't gonna be hunting. You just gonna go out there.

[Joe]

Yeah. You got no more.

[Unc]

Listen, I. I would. The stories that I hear, the stories that I've heard over the years, I want to experience that. And Joe, you know. L. You know why I ain't go. I ain't spending no money. They telling me how much the. The table and the section.

[Joe]

What y' all doing?

[Unc]

And I'm. You telling me how good of a time you had. I'm listening to the numbers that you paid. I'm saying, what you doing? And here I go about the money you're wasting.

[Ocho]

I understand that. I understand that.

[Joe]

Yeah. I mean, you got me with. I mean, it's over. You got. I mean, for you to. To fully get the concept of what it's like, you got to be single. Absolutely. That's the only. That's the only way you can experience. Because something. There's nothing like a lived experience. Somebody telling you something is one thing. You living it.

[Unc]

Right.

[Joe]

Is something entirely different. Like, I can tell people what freaknik was like, and unless you were there.

[Unc]

Right. You'll never know.

[Ocho]

Hey, hey. And if you ain't single, that mean you.

[Joe]

You ain't.

[Ocho]

You don't give a damn. It's one or the other either you single, you don't give a damn.

[Unc]

Right?

[Ocho]

Yeah. Yeah. That's the only way you're going to enjoy now.

[Joe]

Hey, hold on.

[Unc]

I'm going to take. I'm going to take. I'm gonna take Mother half with me now.

[Ocho]

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Okay.

[Joe]

Well, you ain't gonna get. I'm. I mean, look, and from what I hear, they be like that, but I. Nah, I'm good.

[Unc]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Hey, ain't nobody else. Ain't nobody else getting on the team.

[Unc]

Hey, hey, Joe, why you think I keep telling Unc, man, we gotta. Man, we gotta get down to Area 29.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Unc]

The small experience that I had, that adrenaline Rush that high. Being that it's something that I don't do often, that was exciting to me. And I'm good.

[Joe]

It's exciting now, you know. You know, I was. Went to the city and them girls fine. I mean, I didn't go a whole bunch, but when I.

[Ocho]

Hey, they.

[Joe]

Hey, I can see why guys be marrying them. Cause they be fine as a mofo. And I'm talking about. And I'm talking about tens.

[Unc]

Hey, hey, hold on. Joe. Chad. Joe. I did. I was in. I think I had a sign. And I had a sign. I was in. I was in Houston for one hour. Had to go do a sign right now. One hour. But for one day, I did the show from Area 29. I asked. I said the owner, I say, dude, I've never been here before. Would you mind. How's the WI fi? Is the WI fi here good? Can I do the show here so I can show Unk? Like, boom, I'm here. I made it. Happy. I'm a grown man. Why I'm excited to be in Area 29? Because I'm not used to being in that type of environment, Joe. I had.

[SimplePractice Advertiser]

We had.

[Unc]

We had three dances on the show, Joe. Joe. They were so. Wait, I can't get myself in trouble, Joe. Like that to my team.

[Joe]

Yeah, they was on. They was on the show. They tell their name and.

[Unc]

Yeah, Joe.

[Ocho]

Hey, I've never been to Area 20. Was 29.

[Unc]

Yeah. Hey, Joe. Oh, my God.

[Ocho]

Like that. Oh, Joe.

[Unc]

Joe. I could sit here and cry right now on cue, Joe. I ain't never seen that. I ain't.

[Joe]

Look, when I went to the freak nick and I saw those women, I said, I gotta move here. Hey. I say if I tell the. Hey. I said, I went home because I got there that. That Friday, and back then, we have no hotel. Me and my brother stayed right at the Hyatt. Joe. You know the Hyatt right now? Yeah. So went to a. I said, hey, bro, meet me in Atlanta. I said, okay. He said, where we gonna meet at? I said, meet me at the Hyatt. Because back then ain't had no gps, ain't had no Map Quest. I say, hey. Cause we had stayed at the Hide before got there. I said, y' all got any room? They're like, yeah, but you gotta. I ain't have. Hey, got no credit card. I said, I got cash. How much. How much we gotta put down for the deposit? So how many rooms? I said, we need two rooms. I say, I give you $2,000 cash deposit. For both rooms. Cause, you know, back then, hey, I ain't leave home. I ain't leave home without 10 bands on me. Never left home without 10 bands. At least. At the bare minimum. I don't care like that. I got credit cards now, so I ain't got to carry no kind of cash. Got in the room, me and my brother, I said, man, I said, what you think, Spank? He said, man, shh. He said, I'm gonna stay in South Carolina. I said, I'm moving here. I said, I'm moving, man. I called. I got home, got home Sunday night, Monday. I called my agent lady met me, like on a Tuesday or Wednesday. Yeah, man, I'll close them. Hey, I had me a house that Thursday. Closed on that thing a month later. Yes, yes, Lord.

[Unc]

Hey, hey, what you think? What you think about. Let's get a place in Houston?

[Joe]

Oh, hey, boy, you out your. Look here.

[Ocho]

Oh, oh, hey, you talking about all three of us?

[Unc]

Yeah, y' all all. Let's get some, you know, probably in the same gated community, you know, some, you know, 10,000 square feet.

[Joe]

No, absolutely not.

[Ocho]

No.

[Unc]

Hey, you know what? You get a lot of bang for your buck when it comes to, you know, that your housing.

[Joe]

Now, all I'm saying is this, is that I came this close to moving to Houston before I moved to Vegas. Looked at Austin, looked at Dallas, looked at Nashville, looked at Houston, looked at Vegas. Vegas won out. Because I spent so much time in LA, right? Only a 40 minute flight from Vegas to LA and back and forth to be in Houston. That was the only reason. And then, Lord have mercy, what happened?

[Unc]

Take your time now. What happens?

[Joe]

I can't, I can't, I can't,

[Ocho]

I can't. I mean, I love it.

[Joe]

I can't, man. Look here, look here, bro. Every day. Every day. I gotta walk the straight and narrow every day. Yes, sir. Houston got. I used to think Atlanta and Atlanta and Atlanta got some nice looking women, don't get me wrong.

[Unc]

Absolutely.

[Joe]

But Houston's on another level right now.

[Unc]

Different

[Joe]

right now.

[Unc]

I call it the Devil's playground. Yeah,

[Joe]

so I'm good. Me and babe, you know, Vegas, you know, Vegas, be.

[Ari Chambers]

It.

[Joe]

Be popping. It don't. But I'm cool. I don't need it to be popping. I don't go down to the Strip unless I got a function. I got something got to do, you know, we doing something with, you know, X, Y and Z. Other than that, I don't go to the Strip. Houston, y'.

[Fred Armisen]

All.

[Joe]

Somebody get a place in Houston.

[Unc]

Yeah, man, come on. Hey, hold on. We gonna be out the way now. We ain't got to be in the mix.

[Joe]

Can you.

[Ocho]

Hey, can you. Can you imagine the opportunities what we get in Houston?

[Unc]

Yeah. Nightcap opportunity.

[Joe]

You talking about the cat opportunities y' all talking about? I don't want no part of it.

[Unc]

We talk about business. You know we talk about business.

[Joe]

Mm.

[Ocho]

Mm.

[Joe]

No, I'm good.

[Ocho]

Damn, man, you ain't even think about it. Your answer so quick.

[Joe]

That man talking about. Oh, oh, hold on. Joe. He talking about, man, I call Houston the devil playground. You looking at the devil. What the hell? No, man, I'm good. No, already know me. Every man. Clint Eastwood said it. Every man gotta know his limitations.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Yes, sir.

[Joe]

Every man got to know his limitations.

[Unc]

Remember what Joe said? Joe, what you said about the menu?

[Ocho]

You can look at the menu. You ain't got to order nothing.

[Unc]

There it is.

[Joe]

You can look at the menu.

[Unc]

We good.

[Joe]

How many times you don't like. You know what? As a matter of fact, let me change that. Let me. Instead of that baby potato, let me get. Let me get the grotting potatoes. How many times you don't change your mind looking at that? Damn me, man look at it for joke. Ain't listening to that joke. Hey, show out of his damn mind.

[Ocho]

Well, hey, look, Houston ain't no joke. For real. I already know. All right,

[Unc]

Just a thought.

[Joe]

Ain't no thought. And plus, of all you in Miami. So we all go. Go. We all go. Go to Joe. Go get a place. You go get a place. I will get a place. That means I got three places. I got a place in Atlanta, I got a place in Vegas.

[Unc]

You don't need. You don't need your place. Place in Vegas. Cause you. You finna. You finna get you a big boy out there and using.

[Joe]

Oh, no, let me tell you something. Oh, no, that's not gonna be my main residence.

[Unc]

Listen, all jokes aside, if. If y' all were to do it for real, I. I leave Miami, because that ain't nothing but an hour and 40 minute flight. I leave. Kids come. Kids come with me and all.

[Joe]

Yeah, no, I'm good.

[Unc]

Oh, you know the kind of house I can get in. In. In Houston.

[Joe]

Oh, I know, man.

[Unc]

What? Please.

[Joe]

I know.

[Ocho]

I'm good. I'm good.

[Joe]

I mean, you know, Joe, legends, you know. Hey, Joe, you stay in Atlanta. I'm gonna stay. I think. I think it works perfectly. So, Ocho, you in Miami. Joe in Atlanta. I'm in Vegas. I mean, we get. Hey, we got A nice little.

[Unc]

Hey, nah, hold on.

[Kerry Brownstein]

But.

[Unc]

But think about this. Think about if we all lived in Houston and we all had a studio we can all go to and do live. Do live every night. We right there. Entertainment.

[Ocho]

No, I don't agree with Ocho too much now. I don't agree with him too damn much, but. Yeah, man got a point now.

[Unc]

Hey, hey, hey.

[Joe]

Yeah, he do got a point. Unfortunately, it's on the top of his head. And I ain't listening to nothing that man said. Hell, no.

[Unc]

Hey, think about it now. No state taxes now.

[Joe]

Ain't got no state tax in Vegas. They didn't have no state tax in Tennessee.

[Unc]

Yeah, but that's why.

[Joe]

Those are the state. That's why I looked at Texas. Dallas, Austin, Houston, Nashville, Vegas. Like, okay, Nashville was just too far. Nashville is a place that. Once I'm done. Done with this, I'm. I can see myself in Nashville. Have me a farm. Have me a couple of little mini Highlanders, cows and.

[Unc]

And.

[Joe]

And. And horses and some raccoons and stuff on the farm. Stuff like that. Dogs running the property. Stuff like that. But no, no, man, I can't do Houston. Guy, Come on, man.

[Unc]

Hey, think about it, boy. My grandma say you only live once now.

[Ocho]

Yolo.

[Joe]

And you know what? If you do it right, that's all you need. I'm good. If you live right, you don't need to live twice.

[Unc]

I got you, man.

[Joe]

Bad. Oh, you outvoted. Bad Joe. Bad. See, I keep telling y'.

[Kerry Brownstein]

All.

[Joe]

Y' all keep. Y' all keep sleeping on Joe now. Y' all see Joe colors.

[Unc]

Yeah.

[Ocho]

Listen, listen.

[Joe]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Ocho]

Listen, I'm following you guys lead, man. I'm following Ocho League.

[Joe]

I ain't mentioned nothing. I ain't mentioned nothing about Ocho. Did.

[Unc]

Yeah, I. I'm just. I'm just thinking about the opportunity.

[Joe]

We gonna listen to Ocho, huh? Since we started.

[Ocho]

That's what I'm saying.

[Yamanika Saunders]

He.

[Ocho]

I normally don't listen to him, but he got a pretty good damn point right now.

[Unc]

Hey, I'm talking about taking Nightcap to the next level. Can you imagine? Hey, hey, hey, Joe, what's the name of the Texas stadium?

[Ocho]

Texas.

[Joe]

Nrg.

[Unc]

I think it's nrg, but think about it. The Houston.

[Joe]

You talk about the Texas place, but, yeah, I think it's nrg.

[Unc]

Let me tell you, right? We moved to Houston, Joe. It's summertime.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Unc]

Huh?

[Joe]

We.

[Unc]

We could do a live nightcap show and sell out NRG stadium.

[Joe]

I see that I can see that.

[Unc]

What we talking about? What are we talking about?

[Kerry Brownstein]

Huh? Huh?

[Unc]

Think about the. The business opportunities that we can have in you.

[Ocho]

Hey, Ocho, I'm with you when you write. We just got to get one person on board. We got to get them on board.

[Unc]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Ocho]

You got to get them on board.

[Unc]

We could go do night. We could do nightcap at Denver. I don't even know. I don't know the name of stadium. I don't even know the name of stadium. We can sell out Denver Stadium right now like it's a football game in Cincinnati. We can go sell out Paycor Stadium right now, Nightcap in Cincinnati, live with the big three. Man, talk about, man, we can come out to our own.

[Ocho]

You talking about a time? You talking about a time?

[Unc]

Oh, you gotta. You gotta. You gotta think. You gotta think. Business, man. Business.

[Joe]

Let me think about it.

[Unc]

Yeah, okay. Hey, that's my dog.

[Joe]

Let's go.