Don Lemon for President?! - Scrolling w/ Hayley (Ep. 269)

Summary

Scrolling with Hayley – Ep. 269: "Don Lemon for President?!"

Host: Hayley Caronia
Air date: April 2, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Hayley Caronia offers her signature sharp, conservative commentary as she responds to Don Lemon’s tongue-in-cheek contemplation of a 2028 presidential run, covers recent viral incidents at Chick-fil-A, scrutinizes the changing taste of Reese's, and examines trending culture-war stories—from Tiger Woods’ latest car crash to viral TikToks about language, identity, and outrage culture. The episode is packed with media analysis, snappy humor, and crowd-pleasing rants.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Don Lemon’s “Soft Launch” for President (00:30–15:00)

• Viral Headline: Hayley kicks off with Don Lemon’s surprising musings about running for president, as aired on Pod Save America. Hayley initially thinks it's an April Fool’s joke due to the timing and Lemon’s ego ("That SOB is indeed that out of touch.” – 00:46).
• Don Lemon’s Presidential Pitch: Lemon claims, “I think I could be President of the United States. I could definitely run this country better than Donald Trump.” (01:55)
• Hayley's Reaction: Mocks Lemon, calling him “beyond delusional” and "narcissistic" for believing he's more electable than Trump (02:15–03:30), and frames his move as the Democrats’ desperate search for a diversity candidate after Kamala, Hillary, Pete Buttigieg, and others fizzled.
• Identity Politics Satire: Hayley satirizes the Democrat’s “DEI” (diversity, equity, inclusion) approach, suggesting Lemon could be the DNC’s unlikely savior: “He's black and gay, and then he can claim...he was targeted, unfairly targeted by the Trump DOJ.” (04:40)
• Lemon on Picking Sides: Lemon admits, “I probably would have to become a Democrat” (05:47), prompting Hayley to slam his faux independence: “He is a Democrat. He’s been a Democrat, will always be a Democrat.” (06:14)
• Montage of Lemon’s Partisanship: Hayley runs clips of Lemon calling Trump a liar, scorning Republicans, and using charged language (06:44–07:43), concluding, “Do we think this is a moderate independent person?”
• Media Aspirations: Lemon also claims he could fix a news network “lickety split,” which Hayley lampoons, calling out his revisionist history post-CNN firing (08:59–11:29).

Memorable Quote:

• Hayley: "He is narcissistic on a level I really haven’t seen before… Don Lemon is wildly overestimating his popularity." (02:15)
• Don Lemon: “If I wanted to, I know people are going to think I’m crazy... I could definitely run this country better than Donald Trump.” (01:55)
• Hayley (mocking): “Darn it. I have to pick sides. Darn it. I have to become a Democrat.” (06:14)

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2. The Problem with Modern News: Factuality vs. Siloes (11:29–15:00)

• Lemon on News Audiences: Lemon says, “They're never going to watch any network that is a factual news organization,” (11:50) showing, in Hayley’s words, that even he doubts CNN’s middle-ground appeal.
• Hayley’s Analysis: "Shouldn't a news network be in the middle? That’s the point… audiences...want to be told what they want to be told." (12:05–12:40).
• Journalism Critique: Hayley calls out Lemon's biased “boots on the ground” protest coverage as activism, not journalism (14:01–14:59).

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3. Tiger Woods’ Endless Bad Driving (15:03–25:30)

• Fresh Crash, Old Pattern: Hayley reviews Tiger Woods’ March 2026 rollover crash in Jupiter, FL, contextualizing it with his long list of “car-related mishaps,” DUI arrests, and rumored substance abuse (16:42–21:52).
• Public Tolerance: Commentary is critical of Tiger’s refusal to hire a driver for reasons of privacy, with Hayley frustrated by the risk to others: “If he's so concerned about his safety…have a friend—or just don’t drive on pills.” (22:57)
• Dave Portnoy’s Take: Portnoy's viral quote: “I don't care if he's abusing pills...But you can have somebody drive you.” (21:52)
• Social Commentary: Hayley abhors the “celebrity exemption” and repeats: “Those are the only options. Everyone agrees. Everyone agrees.” (25:30)

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4. Chick-fil-A Firings for “Lewd” Viral Dance (27:56–34:22)

• TikTok Scandal: Eight employees fired over a staff dance posted online, which went viral—the video described (27:56) as “boobies jiggling…bouncing and jiggling.”
• Behind the Scenes: The employee creator explains that “it wasn't that serious”—not a “real deal” Chick-fil-A, more like a college sublease (28:43–33:22).
• Immediate Reinstatement: The same employee later is rehired: “No lesson learned, everyone. No lesson learned.” (34:15)
• Hayley’s Stance: Criticizes social media stunts at work and supports companies policing their brand; “Keep your personal phone and social media away until work is over.” (30:58–33:04)
• Contrast with McD’s: Hayley compares with McDonald’s viral dance employee not fired—perhaps “she’s a good dancer.” (32:30)
• Explanation of “Fake” Chick-fil-As: Andrew, the co-host/producer, explains college cafeterias running Chick-fil-A franchising (33:22–33:58).

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5. Chick-fil-A’s New “Phone Coop” (34:19–38:20)

• Encouraging IRL Connection: Some Georgia Chick-fil-A outlets offer free ice cream if customers stow their phones during meals. Hayley praises this for restoring actual family, friend, and social connection.
• Trend Setting: 200 locations participating after 10,000 “coops” made (35:44–38:00).

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6. Stolen KitKats, Taste Tests, and Candy Outrage (38:20–49:55)

• 12 Tons of Stolen KitKats: Hayley laughs about the non-April Fool’s story and tracks her KitKat’s barcode live on the show (38:20–39:48). Not stolen.
• Reese’s “Maha Makeover”: Hayley spotlights Brad Reese’s viral open letter decrying Hershey’s downgrading to “compound coatings” and “peanut butter-style creams”—no longer “chocolate and peanut butter” (40:33–43:06).
• Viral Taste Outrage: Plays viral TikTokers disgusted by Reese’s’ new taste ("tastes like straight chemicals"), tries it on-air: “It’s definitely waxier… that’s my review,” (43:28–44:39) and calls for a return to “Make Peanut Butter Cups Peanut Butter Again.”
• Hershey’s Response: Reports of Hershey defending changes and vowing to revisit core recipes under consumer pressure (46:19–47:56).
• On Candy Costs: Hayley laments cheaper, chemical-packed ingredients: “That’s how this all… this is how we all die. It’s their plan. They’re not playing the short game.” (50:01)

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7. Viral TikToks: Identity, Language, & Outrage (50:01–58:38)

• On “Partner” instead of Boyfriend/Girlfriend (50:01–52:54):
  • Hayley mocks the idea as “corporate and cold," insisting, “I’m never going to call someone my partner ever, unless I say ‘Howdy, partner.’"
• Wheelchair Discourse (52:52–54:34):
  • Hayley and Andrew ridicule a TikTok where a woman in a wheelchair stands up to dance, satirizing the “victim mentality” and Americans abusing accessibility perks.
• Gay vs. Straight Guessing Game (56:39–58:33):
  • Hayley plays a viral game where men guess one another’s sexuality. Observes, “Even the men think other men are gay… everyone just hates each other. Basically, everyone’s gay, and everybody hates each other.”

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8. AI & Pets: Lighthearted Finales (59:12–60:09)

• Cat Translation with ChatGPT: Plays a TikTok of a couple trying to use AI to talk to their cat—cat is nonplussed.
• Hayley on Pets: Jokes that she already talks to her own pet (“Birdie talks back at me… we have a little conversation.”)

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9. Viral Elderly Dog Meme (60:09–63:38)

• Ancient Poodle “Lita Beta Boda Butt”:
  • Hayley reacts to a viral video of a frail, ancient poodle, reading through humorous comments: "She's the same age as water," "She was on Noah's Ark," “She needs to run for Congress.”
  • Commentary likens the pet’s old age to America’s need for term limits in government.

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Notable Quotes & Moments:

• On Don Lemon for President:
  • "That SOB is indeed that out of touch." – Hayley (00:46)
  • "I think I could be President of the United States." – Don Lemon (01:55)
  • “Don Lemon is wildly overestimating his popularity.” – Hayley (02:15)
• On Chick-fil-A Scandal:
  • “If he had ass to shake, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” – Hayley (29:38)
  • “They may not be open, but it is not a day of rest. Confirmed. Because he got fired on a Sunday.” – Hayley (30:16)
• On Sweet Backlash:
  • “Make America great again. Make chocolate great again. Make—make peanut butter cups peanut butter again.” – Hayley (41:36)
  • “No more rubber candy, no more coatings, cream stuff—no more cheap, poisonous substitutions.” (49:11)
• On Victim Culture:
  • “This is victim mentality to a T. These people are just dying to be a victim at all times.” – Hayley (52:54)
• Pet Meme Moment:
  • “She was probably on Noah’s Ark.” “Term limits—no one at the same age as Lita beat a boda butt needs to be in office.” – Hayley (62:52–63:34)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Don Lemon’s Presidential Bid: 00:30–15:00
• News Media Analysis & Lemon’s Bias: 11:29–15:00
• Tiger Woods’ Ongoing Crashes: 15:03–25:30
• Chick-fil-A Dance Firing/Rehiring: 27:56–34:22
• Chick-fil-A’s Phone Coop Initiative: 34:19–38:20
• KitKat & Reese’s Taste Test: 38:20–49:55
• Language & Outrage TikToks: 50:01–58:38
• AI Cat Translator & Oldest Dog Meme: 59:12–63:38

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Tone & Style

Hayley delivers her commentary with biting sarcasm, pop culture references, and plenty of direct listener addresses. The tone bounces between incredulity, mockery, and bursts of relatable humor—particularly when discussing hot-button topics in the culture wars or viral social trends.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This lively episode covers the spectrum from DC politics to TikTok absurdities, always filtered through Hayley’s unapologetically conservative lens. Expect punchy takes on the current news cycle, plenty of pop-cultural satire, playful on-air taste tests, and viral video dissection—all underpinned by Hayley’s mission to “scroll through the chaos of the modern world—one bold opinion at a time.”

Transcript

[Haley Carnea]

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[Don Lemon]

One in four tax paying Americans has paid the price of identity fraud.

[Haley Carnea]

What do I do? My refund though.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

I'm freaking out.

[Haley Carnea]

Don't worry, I can fix this.

[Don Lemon]

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[Haley Carnea]

I'm so relieved. No problem. I'll be with you every step of the way.

[Don Lemon]

One in four was a fraud paying American.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

Not anymore.

[Don Lemon]

Save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com podcast terms apply.

[Haley Carnea]

Hello and welcome to Scrolling with Haley. I'm Haley Carnea. Don Lemon thinks he's going to make a good President of the United States. Even better than Donald J. Trump. Time for a reality check then. Chick Fil A fired eight employees for lewd dancing on the job. We're going to show you the videos. You can decide if you think that this is inappropriate or not. And actually, these employees were reinstated, so it's quite the story. Plus, Reese's peanut butter cups are getting a maha makeover. And so much more. If you are watching the show live right now, copy the link and send it to a friend right now. Then put your phones on. Do not disturb. The show starts now. So, on Sunday's episode of Pod Save America, Don Lemon teased the idea of running for president. And I saw this on X yesterday morning and it was posted at 5am or something. So I thought, surely this is an April Fool's joke. Which is why I hesitated to cover it yesterday. Because I thought, well, let me just let this simmer and make sure that it's legit before I weigh in. Surely Don Lemon can't be that out of touch. Well, I'll be damned. That SOB is indeed that out of touch.

[Don Lemon]

Listen, pay cut. But it's not about money for me. So do I ever think about it?

[Haley Carnea]

Yes.

[Don Lemon]

Could it happen? Yeah, it could happen. If the opportunity presented itself. The right opportunity presented itself. Look, if I wanted to, I know people are going to think I'm crazy. This is going to be the headline and people are going to laugh about it. I think I could be President of the United States. I could definitely run this country better than Donald Trump.

[Haley Carnea]

Paper towel roll cut. But yeah, you would see market improvement. A towel roll could run the press. Could be the President of the United States. I don't know why people would listen to this podcast, but okay. Don Lemon is beyond delusional. He is narcissistic. On a level. On a level I really haven't seen before. And in that clip, he says he could run for president. It's not about the money. He says he could run for president. He would have enough support to win. And he thinks he could do a better job than Donald Trump. Donald Trump, the guy who won the presidency twice despite all the odds, won every swing state, won the Electoral College, the popular vote. Don Lemon is wildly overestimating his popularity. But the Democrats don't have the DEI hire right now to run for president. They don't even have any other options, really. I mean, Kamala Harris was a total failure. She. And she was the trifecta, right? She was Jamaican and Indian, black. Whatever they needed her to be, she would be. Of course, she was a woman. So she was great. A great DEI hire, if you will. Hillary Clinton, you know, she could have been the first woman. No one likes her. So they're running out of options here. And Pete Buddha, Judge, total failure. Nobody likes him. You know, all these polls and not that we believe the polls, but he's so far gone, people don't like him. He's got nothing. He's got no spark. People, people aren't going to rally behind him. So unfortunately, the Democrats are in this, this situation now where Gavin Newsom seems to be their only hope. And that's, that's a bad thing for the Democrat Party because he's a straight white man. So I think that Don Lemon might be soft launching this, just throwing it out on Pod Save America, hoping that someone from the DNC comes and saves him from obscurity. They'll just like, pluck him out from his little podcast that he's doing and say, you're our, you are our only hope. And, you know, he's really everything that the Democrats could hope for because he's black and gay. Michelle Obama has even said that she doesn't think Americans are ready to vote for a woman. I disagree. I think if the woman isn't, you know, bleach bidding her hard drive and smashing her to 30,000 emails and, you know, she isn't falling out of a coconut tree, I think Americans could be convinced to vote for a woman who's not a total lib dart. But whatever. Michelle Obama thinks that women aren't the way to go. And honestly, the last two women that the Democrats have run, they were just horrible candidates. So they haven't been successful. So I think they're, they're course correcting, right? They saw Jasmine Crockett fall on her face in Texas. They went for James Talarico instead And I think they're thinking, all right, you know, Gavin Newsome is the way to go. Maybe Don Lemon might be a running mate. This is. I'm, like, giddy thinking about it just because I think it would be funny. But, you know, he's black, he's gay, and then he can claim and they can run on this. They can make a huge thing about how he was targeted, unfairly targeted by the Trump doj, you know, because he thinks he was just being a journalist when everyone else in the world saw that he was rightfully arrested for, you know, conspiracy to deprive individual rights and interfering with religious freedom. But here he goes, talking about how he would have to pick sides if he ran for president. And he's just such a moderate, such an independent. Listen to this.

[Don Lemon]

As an independent, though, there would be a hard time for me to run for anything because, you know, the way the system is set up, I'd have to choose a side. And so, you know, I probably. I probably would have to become a Democrat, and probably. Yeah. So, you know, am I at the point. That point now? No. And I know people are going to say, don Lemon crazy, but, yeah, that's. Look, why can't I think about running for office? Why can't I think about being President of the United States?

[Haley Carnea]

Oh, darn it. I have to pick sides. Darn it. I have to become a Democrat. I think I'm going to have to become a Democrat. He's not an Independent. He's an independent in name only, maybe. I would highly doubt that he'd be super torn up about having to identify as a Democrat. He is a Democrat. He's been a Democrat, will always be a Democrat. So here's just a montage. I just put, you know, a few clips together, examples of Don Lemon being a lib. You tell me what side of the aisle you think this guy stands on.

[Don Lemon]

I think that you can be a rational maga, be black and be a rational MAGA person. I think you can be black and be a Republican.

[Haley Carnea]

I think they would find that very insulting.

[Don Lemon]

Well, I mean, the truth is often insulting white men. Something is broken. Something is cracked deep inside. When so many of you believe the answer to fear, to loss, to change, is violence. Donald Trump is a liar. I don't need to. I don't need to explain that to you guys. You guys know, the only people who don't know is a cult who follows him. People are just now ready to say, trump, F you. I think people are tired of being respectable and like, you Know going high when they go low.

[Haley Carnea]

Oh, my God.

[Don Lemon]

And I think it's perfectly okay. Like, sometimes you just have to say, I'm fed up. This is some bullshit. So F him. Fuck him. I'm sick of this.

[Haley Carnea]

All right, what side do we think he's on? Do we think this is a moderate independent person?

[Andrew]

Seems pretty neutral.

[Haley Carnea]

He seems very neutral, very level headed, normal. Doesn't seem to be triggered by anything or anyone who might be, you know, in the office right now. He just seems very level headed, you know, open to both sides. And, yeah, I don't think he would do very well if he ran as an independent. I. For the obvious, obvious reasons. And I think there is truth to what Don Lemon is saying. I mean, you do have to pick sides. Anyone who runs as an independent just gets walloped because, you know, we've got the DNC and the RNC and all the money and everything. I mean, there is this system that, you know, falls into place, and everyone kind of just has to fall into line, basically, if they want to win or have a chance of winning. So he is right on that. But, yeah, for him to even. Well, I guess I'd have to be a Democrat. Okay, I. I think you'd be all right with that. And, you know, he's obsessed with sex and gender and race and color and Trump. So he's. He'd be perfect for them, really. And even more deranged than saying that he would run the country better than Trump, which he can't. Is Don Lemon saying he'd be really great at running a news network. Watch.

[Don Lemon]

Do you know what else I think that I could run better than most people. And I was talking, actually talked about to my husband about that last night. A news organ, a news organization, because I was there. I've been in the game for so long, and I'm not interested in being, you know, the anchor out front. I could come in and fix the bulk of their problems and lickety split, in no time flat.

[Haley Carnea]

Lickety split. Don Lemming could just go into a news network and fix all their problems, clean it all up. He's got all the answers. He's the perfect journalist, as we've all seen in the last few months. He's just the perfect journalist. Also, he says he's not interested in being an anchor anymore, but he could run the show and pull the strings, fix all the pro. I mean, this is revisionist history, because when he was fired from his anchoring job at CNN in 2023, he said he was totally blindsided so it's not like he left on his own accord because he wanted to do the independent podcast thing. And then he says he's cut out to run a network and he's getting schooled by people when he does these man on the street interviews. I don't know if you've seen these videos, but I didn't want to pull too many clips of Don Lemon for the show today just to save everyone. Yeah, he was interviewing some guy on the street about Iran, and this guy is like, yeah, I am fully supportive of Trump because, you know, I grew up in this regime and it's horrible and blah, blah, blah. And Don Lemon is just sitting there dumbfounded. Like, he just gets schooled by people and, you know, he's talking to this. He was in Times Square, I, I, I, this was maybe recent, I don't know. And he's talking about, oh, Trump, with this, with this, like, black guy. And he's like, yeah, I'm a full Trump supporter. And he just keeps getting in these situations where he thinks he's going to, like, get the gold sound bite, and it's just not exactly what he hoped for. It's the exact opposite. And he obviously wants to be the star of the show. He's got his own podcast. He definitely does want to be the anchor. He's still doing man on the street interviews. He definitely wants to make content. He's wearing a Lemon Head, Lemon Nation hats, like he's, he definitely wants to be the star of the show. And if he wants to be running a network, then he would certainly need to brush up on what journalism really is, because he claims he would be good at it. But this is Don Lemon talking about why CNN wasn't successful and why telling the truth won't help them also think,

[Don Lemon]

mistakenly, that they're going to gain an audience by trying to move a network into a certain direction. And these days, it's to move it to the right because, because they believe that that audience is going to come to them. Because I was speaking to Kevin o' Leary the other night, and he said, well, CNN has to. They've got to come to the middles to gain more audience. I was like, you're out of your mind. That's never going to happen.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

Are you crazy?

[Don Lemon]

I was like, those folks are never, ever going to watch cnn and they're never going to watch any network that is a factual news organization, so that's never going to happen.

[Haley Carnea]

He just said the quiet part out loud.

[Andrew]

I think I'd prefer my news to be factual.

[Haley Carnea]

Also, shouldn't the news. Shouldn't a news network be in the middle? That's the. That's the point. And, and that's what Kevin o' Leary was saying to him in that. In that conversation that they were having. Yes, CNN is going to have to move closer to the middle because they're far left over here. And it's not the answer to be far right over here either. I mean, if you are in the business of telling the truth, then you should tell both sides. And to do that, you meet in the middle and you just tell the straight facts. And CNN is not doing that. And Don Lemon says, yeah, but the audience doesn't want that. And I agree. I don't think the audience wants the truth. I think audiences on both left and right want to be told what they want to be told. They don't even want to be challenged even anymore. They just go to their silo where they get. They go into their echo chamber and they hear exactly their own viewpoints parroted back at them. And they like that. And they don't want to be challenged. They don't want to have a debate. They don't want to have conversation. And I think, you know, a little bit, Don Lemon is right. That is the crux of the CNN viewership. They don't want to be told the truth. But I think it's funny that he left that network and then started telling the truth. As soon as he left, he started saying, yeah, those people, those viewers, they don't. They don't want to hear the truth. So he pretty much admitted that when he was there, he was lying, which we know. But, yeah, and those are the viewers that, you know, those CNN viewers. I would say, and I would argue that those are his viewers now. Those are the viewers that watch his podcast, probably, and those are the. Those would be his voters if he ran for president. And he thinks they're so misinformed that they don't care about the truth. But here's really exhibit A as to why Don would not make a good network boss. This was his idea of good old boots on the ground journalism. Watch.

[Don Lemon]

These are resistance protesters. They're planning an operation that we're going to follow them on. I can't tell you exactly what they're doing, but it's called Operation Pull Up.

[Haley Carnea]

Why not?

[Don Lemon]

And it's the Kima Armstrong, and she has been doing this since George Floyd, Dante Wright and others, where they surprise people, catch them off guard, and hold them to account. And so that's what we're doing here, and then we're after that. After we do this operation, you'll see it live. And these. These operations are surprise operations. Again, can't tell you where.

[Haley Carnea]

You know, it's funny, I'm kind of realizing this now, as I. I've seen this clip so many times. Right. We obviously covered it when it happened. And watching it back, I'm realizing that he's like, I can't tell you what they're doing. Isn't that the purpose?

[Andrew]

Covering it? The ops were out there. He had to whisper and make sure.

[Haley Carnea]

He's like, well, you know, they're planning something and I'm in on it, but I can't tell you what's going on. Aren't. Isn't that why you're out there? To tell us all what's going on and what they're doing? No. He didn't want to screw up the operation.

[Andrew]

We want to be part of what you're doing. You're dying to know.

[Haley Carnea]

We're dying to know. Tell us. Tell us. Yeah, so he's talking about these protesters as if he's with them, because he is. He said, we are going on a mission. We. He said the word we. After we get done here, we're going to go here, and we are going to get into people's faces and hold them to account. Interrupting a church service and halting that service and scaring away worshipers is not journalism. And yet Don Lemon thinks he's got what it takes to run a network and a country. So good luck. I do want to talk about Tiger Woods. I haven't talked about it on the show yet, but it's sort of been all over the Internet these days. And I posted on X right when this happened, I saw the headline come out. You know, tiger woods in a crash. And he's. He's not new to this. He's. He's crashed before, and just once or twice or four times. But when I saw the headline, I honestly, I just thought, oh, my gosh, he was in a crash. And the last one was so bad and he was so hurt that I posted, we should put Tiger in some bubble wrap. And I posted that before. You know, the dui, the pills, like, all that. And I was like, ugh. Anyway, here we go to Tiger Woods. He's got a great track record when it comes to driving the ball, not so much driving his car. These are four car crashes, honestly, that we know of. Not that I think he could get away with crashing and us not finding Out. But you don't know what's happening in parking lots. I would not put it past him to, like, sideswipe someone in a parking lot. And just this guy, I think he's driving under the influence. I would assume more often than. Than what we're seeing. These are just the times that he's not getting away with it.

[Andrew]

You would hope that that's not the case. But, yeah, the track record.

[Haley Carnea]

The track record is not good. So, you know, in 2009, we all remember this when he crashed his Escalade into a fire hydrant. Then he crashed it into a tree outside of his house. This was in the morning. And then his wife at the time came out eland. She was breaking the car window with the golf club. And that was apparently to break him out of the car or get him out of the car. I think it's because he was cheating. And that's, I think, what the consensus is. And that's how I remember the story. And at that time, he was cited for careless driving. No charges were pressed. Now there is some. Some revision, not like revisionist history, but people look back on that moment and I think for millennials, and I'm a millennial, when you were a kid at that time, when you see these news headlines and stuff, it seems bigger than it really is. I thought the Tiger woods was guilty of something much, much worse than driving into a tree in front of his house. I remember this being much bigger drama. And maybe this is just when you're a kid, you're sort of susceptible to this, like, media hyper, you know, fixation on a story and this sensationalism. But, yeah, this I'm not alone. There are other people that have tiger trauma. Listen. But him cheating on that white wife. I remember he crashed a car or something. It just was so scandalous. I remember I was young. I don't remember what year this was, but I do remember I was young. And I was watching it like, he's going to jail. I thought he was going to jail.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

That's how. That's how insane. Like, if you were not there live time.

[Haley Carnea]

I thought that cheating was illegal. When that happened, I said, oh, my God, he's going down Guantanamo Bay.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

I ain't gonna lie. When I was younger, I always thought Tiger woods killed somebody. Whole time, this was just a serial cheater. I remember being a kid watching the Tiger woods documentaries and seeing they was looking at his metal correctors, looking at all his enterprises, information, his history, who he was cool with, who he wasn't cool with. They damn near had an investigation. Crime scene at his crib. I'm thinking Tiger woods then pulled off some mean ass O.J. i'm like, how the is this still free? Tiger woods, what did you do? And y' all might think I'm joking, but I'm dead ass. I thought, I thought Tiger woods was on some Melendez brothers, some Aaron Hernandez.

[Haley Carnea]

I agree. I remember this being such a huge deal, a much bigger deal. And I really do think that cheating should be illegal. Like throw people in jail, Throw cheaters in jail.

[Andrew]

Shouts out to that guy for having a grandfather clock where he was.

[Haley Carnea]

I think that was just a sound effect. Like, I think that was.

[Andrew]

I don't think so.

[Haley Carnea]

Really?

[Andrew]

I don't think so.

[Haley Carnea]

Anyway, then in 2017, this was the. No, this wasn't even the worst one. 2021 was the worst one. In 2017, he passed out behind the wheel of his Mercedes. This was at 3am he likes driving in the morning. Okay. He likes long drives. At that point, he was arrested on DUI charges and he had multiple prescription drugs in his system. And he pleaded guilty and had those charges dropped. Dropped. And he went on probation. Then in 2021, this was the serious rollover crash in California. And he's got different cars. Like obviously he's got to get different cards. He keeps totaling them. And not that he can't afford it, but this is a very expensive little hobby he has of flipping his cars over. So he was going, you know, almost 90 miles per hour and a 45, he struck a median, he struck trees, he rolled over multiple times. And this is when he suffered multiple injuries to his legs, his ankle, um, he had to get surgery, put rods and screws in his legs and all that. Again, no impairment charges were filed. It was just, they claimed that this was just, you know, excessive speed. And he lost control of the car, I guess. And now, most recently, March 27, 2026, in Jupiter, where he lives, was involved in another rollover crash. And he's was trying to pass on a narrow two lane road and the SUV turned over. He was not seriously injured, but he blew zeros. He was not drunk. However, he had pills in his pocket. So this was his second DUI related arrest. And at this point, people are fed up. People don't really have a tolerance for drinking and driving in this day and age or taking pills and driving with all of the resources that normal people have. Like, if I am drinking, I am not going to drive. I will just get an Uber and if I can do it, I Know, Tiger woods can do it. Especially if you're Tiger Woods. Come on. If you could afford to flip your cars over and buy new ones, you can afford a driver. And this is what Dave Portnoy had to say. And I just have to say I agree with everything.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

Listen, I don't care if he's abusing pills. I don't care if he's got an abuse problem, alcohol problem, a drug problem, banging blonde problem. I don't care about any of those problems. But you can have somebody drive you.

[Haley Carnea]

Yeah, I mean his rich, rich, rich drive you.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

He should have a driver with him wherever he goes. There is no excuse. It's not hard. Just have somebody with you at all times who is driving him.

[Haley Carnea]

Totally agree. And you might be wondering why then if everyone agrees that Tiger Wood should just get a driver, he could certainly afford one. Then why wouldn't he have one? Well, here's the headline that says this is why he's refusing to hire a driver despite these latest DUI arrests. And it says, sources say the 15 time major champion doesn't want anyone tracking his movements or knowing his whereabouts at all times.

[Andrew]

Yeah, dog. Every time you wreck your car, every

[Haley Carnea]

time you roll over, we know exactly where you're at. And the entire world knows that you just flipped your car over again. And if you're cheap, let me just say, because maybe it's not so much about his security and I think that there's something to that, which I'll get to in a minute. But even if it's cheaper to buy an Uber, it is cheaper to pay a driver and probably have him on full staff than it is to flip your car over. Legal fees, get the new car every few years. Like hello, get help. Get help and then get a driver. It's really not that hard. And he insists that he is perfectly capable on driving himself. Clearly he is not. And I can understand, you know, you're famous, people are going to know where you live. They're going to find out where you go. You know, Tiger, doesn't he have a restaurant in Palm beach or in Jupiter? Like people are going to probably, if they want to see him out and bother him and be annoying, which I'm sure people do. They're going to know that he might be there or might be around town and people are just going to. That's the name of the game. And it sucks. People are going to stalk you and that sucks. Sucks. But you can't drive on pills because you don't want to be stalked by people. Hire A driver, make them sign an NDA that he can't tell you. You know, he can't tell people where he's dropping you off or, like, where you live. I'm sure people already know where he lives. But it is not worth it to put yourself in harm's way and most importantly, everyone else on the road. It's so selfish. You want to drive yourself everywhere, then get help and stay sober. Those are the two options. Alcoholism, drug addiction. It's a disease. It is hard to overcome. People try, they fail. They relapse, they try again, they fail. If you were in the process of getting better, hire a driver or carpool with a trusted friend or family member. If he's so concerned about his safety, he doesn't want people to know where he lives or where he's going. Have a friend that you're. I can't imagine he's going out all alone all the time, right? Unless he is. I don't know. Does he just go out drinking alone? I don't know. I don't know what he's up to. But I'm assuming if he's meeting someone for dinner, can you say to that person, hey, could you drop me off? Or a family member, hey, I have a dinner. Could you pick me up? I don't know. Or if you are totally sober, then you can drive yourself. Those are the only options. Those are the only options. Everyone agrees. Everyone agrees.

[Andrew]

I mean, he swings a driver, great,

[Haley Carnea]

but he just doesn't drive very well, dude.

[Andrew]

Too well behind the wheel.

[Haley Carnea]

No. No, he doesn't. I saw there was this joke online. People are saying a lion wouldn't flip their tiger. A lion wouldn't flip their car over, but a tiger would. A lion wouldn't roll their car over or get a dui, but a tiger would. Anyway, taking a quick break to tell you about my morning coffee, Blackout Coffee. It is a premium American coffee company known for bold flavor, high quality beans and roasting right here in every order shifts straight to your door. So when you need a cup, you have a cup. And what I love is how smooth and rich it tastes without any bitterness. With that perfect balance of flavor and energy getting me through busy mornings and long days, you can try their subscribe and Save program. So you could always have a fresh cup of coffee on hand. You can switch flavors anytime, pause, cancel whenever you want. Plus get discounted pricing, free shipping, and reward points on every order. It is simple, flexible, and saves you money. They offer dark roasts, any flavor you could ever think of. You go on your website, and you could. You could find it. They've got to have something for you, I promise. Espresso blends. Iced coffee. They've got something for every coffee lover. So now is the time to try blackout coffee. Go to blackout coffee.com and use code scroll for 20 off your first order. Once you try it, you won't want to go back. All right, let's get into some Chick Fil A stories because I'm getting hungry. I can't wait to get into this section of the show because I. This is just a little tease, but we have a taste test here that I'm going to do later, so stay tuned. We're going to get on a sugar high on this show. But let's get into the Chick Fil A first. So eight Chick Fil? A employees, they were fired after they posted this video. Watch. Hey. Oh, there's a lot about. If you're listening, for my people listening to the podcast today, just. Just picture some boobies jiggling. That's really all. That's really all it is. Just bouncing and. And jiggling. Okay, so apparently this went very, very viral. Like, millions of views viral. And. And these employees were let go. So here's one of the employees who orchestrated this entire video, and here's what he had to say.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

We got fired. Every single last one of us got fired. I'm going to tell you how I made the video, how the thought process of the video came up. Before I made the video, I asked. I said, hey, I'm about to make this video real quick. If you want to be in it, let me know. If you don't want to be in it, let me know. All I need you all to do. And I showed them what I wanted them to do. I said, bounce your chest. I'm a boy. I don't really have to. I have to work harder to bounce my chest than a girl. Girls have titties. I have to extra, you know. Oh, I'm a little big. I like how he has to explain

[Haley Carnea]

this part of the video about you

[Chick Fil A Employee]

showing up for y'.

[Haley Carnea]

All. No, we get that.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

That's beside the point. It wasn't that serious. This is what I'm trying to say. It wasn't that serious. First of all, our location isn't even like an actual Chick Fil? A. We barely have anything on our menu. If you pull up to our location, I'm not gonna say where it's at, but if you scroll down on my page, you'll see where I'm located, and you walk into our Chick Fil A, you'll see that we don't have much on the menu. Our Chick Fil a doesn't even take gift cards. We don't do that. Our Chick Fil a doesn't even take cash. We don't do that.

[Haley Carnea]

So therefore, we can shake our ass.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

I'm saying all this just to let y' all know that this is not an actual chickfila. It's a chickfila, but it's not a real deal Chick Fil A, if you get what I'm trying to say. It could have been just the simple fact that it was the whole crew doing the same thing. And maybe I did little. Did do a little bit too much when I turned around and I shook my back because nothing.

[Andrew]

That's what it was.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

But back and fat was moving. No ass. Okay? None.

[Haley Carnea]

If he had ass to shake, we wouldn't be having this conversation. That is obviously the problem. The problem is that he didn't shake his butt enough.

[Andrew]

That's exactly corporate. Got together in a boardroom or like. All right, we need to take a look at this. Instant replay.

[Haley Carnea]

Listen, if you're going to shake your butt, don't embarrass us. Don't embarrass us.

[Andrew]

Definitely advances Chick Fil A's brand.

[Haley Carnea]

Right. So obviously, you know, this isn't good for the brand, to your point. And Chick Fil a said, yeah, we're not. We're not going to be doing this here. Which I understand. And apparently, according to that video. Well, he was. You pointed out that he's eating Chick Fil A while talking about getting fired

[Andrew]

from Chick Fil a. Unbranded. Very smart.

[Haley Carnea]

Yep. Well, no, he was drinking out of the cup in some of the parts of the video. But he was fired on Sunday. You know what that means? People are working on Sundays. They are working on Sundays. They may not be open, but it is not a day of rest. Confirmed. Because he got fired on a Sunday anyway eating the Chick Fil A. And I was thinking, because I'm seeing. I'm looking, and I'm like, those are Chick Fil A fries. Those are Chick Fil A fries. I wonder if he went to a different location to pick those up. Or do you think that he went to the location that he got fired from? And then who was working if they fired everyone? I guess they have more than eight employees, but they fired all the eight in that video.

[Andrew]

B team.

[Haley Carnea]

Yeah, the B team. The. The JV team came in to. And they were like, under no circumstances you shake your ass on this shift. No ass shaking on the shift. And in the comments, everyone is supportive of the crew that got fired. No one was supportive of the firing, which is just crazy to see in today's day and age. You know, people make tiktoks at work. They go viral, as you know, this one did. And sometimes it looks good on the company, sometimes it doesn't. And in this case, you have a conservative parent company firing employees for making a TikTok that is sexual in nature at work. And these people are old enough to know not to do that, and they did it anyway. Companies are well within their rights to not allow employees to make social media videos for their personal pages on the property. Unless these were social media managers for chick fil A. And I, I think it's safe to say that these are not. You keep your personal phone and your social media away until work is over. Depending on the situation. They claimed that the restaurant was closed, so no customers were there. They were like, okay. No one was there to see it. Okay. But then you posted it on social media and millions of people saw it. So anyway, people do do this though, and I think that this is sort of what they were hoping for. They wanted to go viral for dancing on the job like these McDonald's employees. One thing about me, I'm the baddest alive he know the pretty is the income until I arrive. I don't know. Bitches get to me. I fucking. Are you all entertained today? So that woman was. Those employees at McDonald's were not fired for this. She actually posted on her account because I went back to check and she quit three years later. So she posted these videos, went viral for dancing at work and the company had no problem with it. Probably because it. She's a good dancer. So maybe that had something to do with it. Again, to that guy's point, maybe if he was a little better at it, he wouldn't have gotten fired. So I think these chick fil A workers saw similar videos go viral and thought we'll just, you know, we'll dance on the job with no consequences. And that wasn't the case.

[Andrew]

I hope that these people have two brown the. The tale of two brands.

[Haley Carnea]

Yes, exactly. Exactly. But they Chick fil a has not put out a an official statement. And maybe that is because this is not a real chick fil A. Like he was explaining. Andrew, do you want to explain why this is not a real chick fil A?

[Andrew]

Here's my theory. At the college I Went to show yourself.

[Haley Carnea]

So people know who's. Who's talking. Voice of God explaining Chick Fil A. Fake Chick Fil A sub Chick Fil A's.

[Andrew]

All right. Basically the school cafeteria like subleases the name of Chick Fil A and they run it locally so they have all the Chick Fil A offerings. But it's managed by the on site food people.

[Haley Carnea]

Right? Like a college food company.

[Andrew]

Correct. So I think that's the, the theory that I'm going with.

[Haley Carnea]

So then he posted on social media that he was actually reinstated. He got his job back. Watch this. Who got they job back? And he's no lesson.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

She walking around with all the damn ass on her.

[Haley Carnea]

No lesson learned, everyone. No lesson learned. So anyway, he's back. But the. There's, there's a lot of good happening at Chick Fil A. Maybe not that one fake Chick Fil A location, but there is a lot of good happening at Chick Fil? A. Of course they're known for their great service. They are known for happy faces, fast service, and they really are a well oiled machine. And I think a lot of people are upset that they're not open on Sundays because they want more Chick Fil? A. It's good quality food and again, they get it fast and everyone's very nice. It's a, it's a good thing, fast food experience, in my opinion. And this one Chick Fil A, or actually now a few Chick Fil A in Georgia, they have created a cell phone coupe. So Brad Williams is, he owns two Chick Fil A locations in Georgia. And he started this trend where it's a box that sits on every table in his restaurant. And if diners put their phones in that coop while they're eating for the entire time, if the phones stay in the box and the entire meal, diners get to get a free ice cream dessert. So it is, it encourages people to turn your phones off, phones off, friends on. That's what my friends in college used to say. We would go to dinner, put your phones in the middle of the table, phones off, friends on. It's nice to have IRL experiences, dining experiences. No one wants to go to dinner and, and be across from the table from someone like this rude. So I think this is great. And especially as someone with a phone addiction, I am severely addicted to my phone. But I know to, if I am out with someone, you know, out to dinner, I'm. I'm not touching my phone. So unless they go to the bathroom, then I'm like, I'M like a drug addict of taking my phone out of checking my notifications. But I think it's rude and I think that this is such a wonderful thing to start. I think it's a, it's a cool trend. And he started doing this in mid January with just his two restaurants. And since then 10,000 coupes have been made and there are 200 chick fil a locations that are also implementing this kind of phone coupe idea where people want to create a, a phoneless dining experience. And he thinks, you know, this guy Brad Williams is saying that he hopes that this creates, it's not just a trend, but he hopes that people really stick to it. And, and people start to create a no cell phone zone where we're going to place the, the conversation over or phone scrolling. And I think that that's great. So maybe this is hard for people, but I think that it's, it's good to train especially. I feel like families take their kids there and it's good to show your kids that we shouldn't be on our phones at the table. And, you know, people, I think just stick iPads in front of their kids now because they take them to a restaurant and they want them to shut up and act right. So then they think, you know, if they're distracted by this game on my phone or this iPad, then at least they'll act right in public. But I think this is a good way to teach your kids that you can act right in public without staring at a screen. I think we need to bring that back. But let's get into this candy business because KitKat needs our help. We already told you that 12 billion KitKats were stolen. They were stolen. And again, it seems like a gimmick, right? It's around April Fools. The company has come out and said, no, this was not an April fool joke. This is not a gimmick to, to make you buy more KitKats. No, these 12 tons of KitKats were actually stolen in Europe from Poland, Italy. Somewhere in between Poland and Italy, someone really stole 12 tons of KitKats. And they do really want to know where they all went. So they've created a stolen KitKat tracker that lets you check if your KitKat is one of the stolen KitKats. So, shall we?

[Andrew]

Did it make it to the States?

[Haley Carnea]

Did it? I mean, I feel like that would be very difficult, but we've got my, my. What is. Oh, well, I'm checking this barcode here.

[Andrew]

This could be evidence. Yeah, just read me, read me the barcode and we'll put it in, see what's up. The actual barcode. I know there's a lot of numbers. You can only put numbers in. So, like, the actual barcode number.

[Haley Carnea]

Like this number, right?

[Andrew]

Indeed.

[Haley Carnea]

Okay. 034-2460.

[Andrew]

Please hold. All right. Little drum roll here. Wait, do you think it's stolen?

[Haley Carnea]

No. Because how would I feel like if the people who stole it got the candy all the way to the United States, they'd be able to check it, right? I mean, you don't just. Unless Kit Kat. You know, huge truckloads of Kit Kats are jumping the border. I feel like we would notice that. Especially if. Especially, oh, this KitKat wasn't stolen. Keep searching and help us widen the search by sharing.

[Andrew]

Okay, KitKat. If I must go buy more KitKats.

[Haley Carnea]

Here. Here is a good question for everyone. How do you eat your KitKats? Do you break it apart or do you just eat it like a serial killer? You all know where I stand. You have to break it apart and eat one by one, right? Is that how you do it, or do you just bite into it like a crazy person?

[Andrew]

I don't like the chocolate on my fingers, so I eat it out of the wrapper unbroken.

[Haley Carnea]

That's crazy.

[Andrew]

I'm on your side, Haley.

[Haley Carnea]

Come on. Why? Why would there be perforations in it?

[Andrew]

If not, I also drink chips. Like, I'm a bad test subject. I've got a thing with stuff on my hands.

[Haley Carnea]

Wait, you what?

[Andrew]

Like, if I get a small bag of chips, I'll crush them up and, like, pour them into my mouth. I don't like the stuff on my fingers.

[Haley Carnea]

You need to eat your chips with chopsticks.

[Andrew]

Andrew is an odd specimen.

[Haley Carnea]

Yeah, that's weird.

[Andrew]

Yeah, I know. I'm in the minority. I get it.

[Haley Carnea]

Well, that tasted good. I will say the chocolate's kind of, like, gooey.

[Andrew]

That's not how it's supposed to be described.

[Haley Carnea]

I know. And we are going to get into this because in other chocolatey news, Hershey is making some maha updates to Reese's Peanut Butter Cups after Brad Reese, the grandson of HB Reese, who invented the Reese's Peanut Butter cup, penned an open letter to Hershey's, the parent company. So this is a letter that Brad Reese posted on LinkedIn. Open letter to Todd Scott saying this. My grandfather, HB Reese, who invented Reese's, built Reese's on a simple, enduring architecture. Milk, chocolate and peanut butter. Not a flavor idea, not a marketing construct. A real, tangible product identity that Customers and consumers have trusted for a century. But today, Reese's identity is being rewritten not by storytellers, but by formulation decisions that replace milk chocolate with compound coatings and peanut butter with peanut butter style creams across multiple Reese's products. How does the Hershey company continue to position Reese's as its flagship brand, a symbol of trust, quality, and leadership, while quietly replacing the very ingredients, milk chocolate and peanut butter, that built Reese's trust in the first place? Amen. Make America great again. Make chocolate great again. Make. Make peanut butter cups. Peanut butter again. I agree. I agree. And he goes on. It's about whether Reese's, the world's number one chocolate brand, is being protected or diluted. So I'll throw this out to the chat. If I have any candy lovers in the chat, any Reese's Peanut Butter cups lovers in the chat, I will say Reese's Peanut. Peanut. Reese's Peanut butter cups are my favorite candy. I will say I haven't had them in a long time because I really don't eat chocolate that much. I try not to eat this stuff, but if I had a choice, this would be my top choice. And people were saying online that they have been noticing a difference in how Reese's tastes. So this has been going on for years because I remember when I was working at Newsmax, one of my colleagues, my coworkers, he would order boxes of Reese's from the factory. I don't know how he did that, but he would get like a big box and they did taste different. It was almost more fresh or something. He got it straight from the factory and instead of, you know, the distribution of to the store, sitting on the shelves, whatever. And they were very good. And other people online have started to take notice that Reese's taste different. Watch this.

[Andrew]

Has anybody else noticed that Reese's peanut butter cups taste nasty? Now, I was dipping into my kids Halloween candy and figured I'd go for one. And it tasted like straight chemicals. And I swear they didn't used to taste like that. Now I understand they are indeed chock full of chemicals, so it makes sense. But I could swear they didn't used to taste that nasty.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

Okay.

[Haley Carnea]

I just saw somebody say, why do Reese's peanut butter cups taste disgusting? I thought it was just me. They're inedible. I can't even eat a Reese's peanut butter cup. All right, well, I'll be the judge of that.

[Andrew]

Show the poll. Wait, show the bottom. How'd you do? Wow.

[Haley Carnea]

Pretty perfect.

[Andrew]

Pretty perfect.

[Haley Carnea]

Yeah. But maybe that's because it's not real chocolate anymore. Like, maybe the coating doesn't get stuck. Stuck to the bottom anymore. Ever thought of that?

[Andrew]

It's that compound chocolate.

[Haley Carnea]

Yeah. There's, like, pla. There's probably plastic in it or something. I'm just. This is my morning micro dose of microplastics. Okay.

[Andrew]

According to compound chocolate, it has cocoa, vegetable fat, and sweeteners.

[Haley Carnea]

E.

[Andrew]

Producer Josh hit you with that information mid bite so you could really dwell on what you're eating.

[Haley Carnea]

I already put it in my mouth, thanks. It doesn't really taste that different.

[Andrew]

I don't think we need the classic milk chocolate back, though, so that's a good call on them. It's definitely waxier. That's my review, and

[Haley Carnea]

a little bit's coming off on my hands, but not a lot. Which brings me to my next video, because now people are really questioning the contents of Hershey's chocolate bars, because this is happening when they open them. Watch. Guys, I don't think chocolate's supposed to look like this. I don't either. Why is it so, like, elasticy? That's nasty. We'll see. And it tastes chewy, too. It doesn't melt in your mouth. Like, chocolate melts in your mouth. Okay, well, mine just broke off. How. How long do you have to let it, like, sit out for it to start?

[Andrew]

There might be a, like, that, like, freshness issue with those ones on the video. Like, if it sits and kind of, like, let it melt or something, I'll

[Haley Carnea]

let this melt on my pants. I'll let you know. And I'll let you know. But that's, like, really nasty. People are saying that's an eraser from a book fair. I was going through the comments. People said old Hershey would have melted five seconds after you touched it. I will say this is really not melting on my hand at all.

[Andrew]

Gross.

[Haley Carnea]

Yeah. And I'm eating. Does.

[Andrew]

Does it melt in your mouth, though? Like, if you, like, leave it there. Like, let me see.

[Haley Carnea]

Someone in the chat keeps saying, don't eat it. Don't eat it. Too late.

[Andrew]

This is a perfect opportunity to plug. There are so many great apps out there that you can, like, scan and find out what's really in your food. And, like, 10 out of 10 love using those.

[Haley Carnea]

Yeah, it's. It is melting in my mouth. It's. Yeah, it's kind of, like, chewy. I don't really. I'm not getting the chemical taste that people are talking about. I'm sure there are. You know, there's Chock full of chemicals in here. But I don't know. But anyway, after all this hubbub and all this social media backlash, Hershey says it is going to go back to the basics when it comes to Reese's. So at first, Hershey was kind of defending its decision, and they said to a statement to CBS News, sometimes, you know, we have to make product recipe adjustments. We have to make changes. And, you know, Reese's peanut butter cups are made the same way that they've always been. But then they said, you know, we've grown and expanded the Reese's product line. And I think when I think they're talking about the new shapes like the Christmas trees and the Easter eggs and things like that, and because the ratio is a little different, they've made changes. And they said to keep up with the demand of Reese's fans, they've had to change some things. But, you know, they're saying the essence of what makes Reese's unique and special is still there and that it is chocolate and peanut butter. And, you know, to Brad Reese's, I think that's his name point. Yeah, it's chocolate and peanut butter flavor, but they're not using real milk chocolate and peanut butter anymore. They're using some, you know, bs, weird mixtures and creams and coatings and whatever. I will say, is this normal that it's like. I guess it's breaking off, but it is a little, like, malleable.

[Andrew]

Again, not a great way to describe chocolate.

[Haley Carnea]

Well, no, I think chocolate is that way.

[Andrew]

Malleable.

[Haley Carnea]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

You don't want. You don't want, like, malleable chocolate.

[Haley Carnea]

Hold on. I'm doing a little more market research here.

[Andrew]

We need Willy Wonka's expertise.

[Haley Carnea]

It is coming off on my fingers a little bit, but I don't know, it's kind of gross. I don't really eat this stuff anymore, though. So.

[Andrew]

Yeah, a little waxy.

[Haley Carnea]

I don't know. But I think with all this backlash, I think if customers like Reese's. Customers. Do I chocolate on my mouth? No, I think if they all get together and say, hey, we actually really prefer the real chocolate and real peanut butter. And if Reese's sees a bump in business, I think that Hershey's should really make the maha changes. This is, like, not sitting well.

[Andrew]

Do you need some water?

[Haley Carnea]

It's, like, really not sitting well in my mouth. Actually.

[Andrew]

Chemicals are kicking in.

[Haley Carnea]

It's. The seed oils are, like, clogging my throat up. I think, like, yeah, it's kind of gross, but yeah. No more rubber candy. No me. No more coatings, cream stuff. No more cheap, poisonous substitutions. I just say make chocolate great again. And on that note, let's get into scrolling time. Ooh. Someone in the chat said, make Hershey the next Bud Light. People are getting ready to cancel Hershey's now.

[Andrew]

Just as long as it's done canceling by Halloween, because that's when I really care.

[Haley Carnea]

I think we should just use healthier ingredients. And here's the problem. Everyone wants to make a cheap product, and that's how they make money. But all of the better, healthier alternatives to chocolate products and candy products are so much more expensive than people. They rely on the prices of these bigger box brands. And anyway, that's how this all. I don't know. This is how we all die. This is their plan. It's. It's. They're not playing the short game. They're playing the long game. They're getting us all nice and pumped up with whatever. It's great. Anyway, this liberal is saying that it is very nice. It's very nice to the trans community to start calling your significant other partner. Watch. I just want to remind you that people don't say partner to normalize queerness. Straight people say partner so that queer people don't have to out themselves at work. If everyone's saying partner, then when a queer person says partner, they are not outing themselves. It is a protective measure, not an attempt at normalization. Let me just say if you're queer, we can all tell. No, no queer person is, like, getting outed because, you know, they're not calling their partner partner or anything like that. I can tell that this girl making the video is queer. She looks like she voted for Kamala Harris. I know she did. She looks like she, you know, protests ice. She looks like she lays down in the street and, you know, she wants to die on the sword. She's very performative, and she wants all these straight people to go do what she wants. They want straight people to abandon the language like boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, all of the, you know, all of these gendered terms that we've used for years because, you know, man and woman, and I'm not abandoning that, and normal people are not abandoning that. I am never going to call someone my partner ever, unless I say, howdy, partner. Howdy, partner is the only time I'm saying partner ever or business partner. I would never use the word partner to describe a romantic relationship that I am in. Partner is so weird. It is so corporate and cold. To describe the person that you're in love with. Like, no, that is my boyfriend. And I was going through the comments on the video, and people were saying, well, I'm older now, so it's weird to call someone my boyfriend. I use partner because I feel too old to have a girlfriend or a boyfriend. Get over it. These are the terms. You can't be too old to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. That's just what it's called. I don't care. Get over it.

[Andrew]

You're not Batman. You don't need a partner.

[Haley Carnea]

It's crazy. I totally agree. It's just. It's howdy, partner, or nothing in. In my book. Now this is even worse because I. I can. I can deal with the first video. I could deal with it. But this is where I draw the line. This is victim mentality to a T. These people are just dying to be a victim at all times. And this woman, she claims that she needs a wheelchair, and she also does this, and I'm just with them. Why do people get so mad when they stand up from a wheelchair and she starts dancing? Ableism. Oh, so it's ableism. I think that's the opposite. Like, what she's doing is ableist.

[Andrew]

I'm going to be 100% with you. If I am waiting in line at Universal and she rolls up and stands up and gets on the ride before me, I'd be a little sad.

[Haley Carnea]

No, this is like the extreme of a person who isn't handicapped, but they have the handicapped little sign for their windshield, and then they put it in, and then they. They pull up to the handicap spot, and then they get out and they, you know, hop, skip, and a jump out.

[Andrew]

You know, Florida. A flight. Flight from Florida is a miracle maker. Everybody's in a wheelchair to get on the plane, and once they're where they need to be, they walk right off.

[Haley Carnea]

Really? I've never noticed that.

[Andrew]

Next time you fly out of Florida, everybody wants to get on the plane, so they're all in a wheelchair. And then you land at the next place and they want to get off the plane as fast as possible and not wait for the wheelchair people to come back and they walk right off.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

Whoa.

[Haley Carnea]

I've never noticed that, but I've never known to look for it because I just assume that if you're in a wheelchair, you need it.

[Andrew]

Yep.

[Haley Carnea]

Wow. This is me assuming the best in people, and I really shouldn't do that. I really shouldn't do that. Anyway, the woman who is the account holder and she gets up out of her wheelchair and starts dancing. Her name is Leanne Firestone, and she calls herself an autistic advocate and disabled unicorn. So you can already disregard everything that she says because, yeah, you're not an expert. And she says that she wears wrist braces because she has hyper mobile hands and she has pots, which means you get dizzy when you stand up too quickly. You get brain fog, you have fatigue. And this is just like a quick generalization of these things. I'm sure there are people out there who really have these things, and maybe she does really have these things and they struggle. But she also said in another video that I have EDS and all of the major symptoms are dislocation and dizziness. So she gets dizzy when she walks up. Not in that video. She got up very quickly and started dancing. So I don't know, maybe she just was having a good day. And she says that her hands hurt. So she wears braces on her legs and her hands and on her stomach, like on her back, around her back, because parts of her body will just dislocate. It's sort of like a mix between. I tried to look into this because I'm thinking, you know, am I. I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. And I think it's sort of like you're. What's that word? When you're like, your legs are, like, hyperextended. It's sort of like that. She deals with that. So anyway, believe her or not, she certainly can get up out of a wheelchair and walk and dance. So anyway, this next video, because you all know how my gay R goes off on everyone, I think that most men are. Are gay these days. At least the ones that post on social media. Not. Not all men, but the men that I see when I'm scrolling. And I did find this funny because these guys think that guys are gay. Also. Watch this.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

Are you gay or straight? I'm straight, man. Do you think other people would think that?

[Haley Carnea]

Of course.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

Yeah. Do you think they. This guy is gay or straight gang? What makes you say that? I don't know. That's just the vibe he gets off. Are you gay or straight? I'm not gay. I'm straight. Do you think other people would think that? Yeah, they think I'm straight.

[Haley Carnea]

Yeah.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

Do you think this guy is gay or straight? I get, like, probably D.L. oh, for real? What makes you say that? I don't know. Like, he don't give off gay. Are you gay or straight? I'm straight. Do you think Other people would think that?

[Haley Carnea]

Yeah, he look gay.

[Andrew]

I can't even count.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

What makes you say that?

[Haley Carnea]

Just the way he looks.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

Are you gay or straight?

[Haley Carnea]

No, I'm straight.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

Hey. Or straight.

[Don Lemon]

I'm straight.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

Do you think other people would think that?

[Haley Carnea]

Yes.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

Do you think this guy is gay or straight? Gay. What makes you say that? How you posing? You could just tell, are you gay or straight? I'm straight. Do you think other people think that? I don't give a what nobody else think. Does this guy look gay, gay or straight?

[Don Lemon]

He look.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

He look gay to me. Like, man to man, though. What makes you say that? Just giving sass, bro. Are you gay or straight? I'm straight. I say I'm a pretty. I like women. Do you think other people would think that?

[Andrew]

Yeah. Oh, no, he gay as hell.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

Nah, that's a gay man right there

[Haley Carnea]

if I ever seen one.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

Look at him.

[Andrew]

He got the tongue out.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

Yeah. Nah, he gay. Are you gay or straight? I'm straight.

[Haley Carnea]

It's just the vicious cycle of, are you straight or gay? No, I'm straight. Do you think that other people would think that? And then again, even the men think that all the men are gay. But you have to explain this to me. Do you just think that other guys look gay or what? Like, they don't actually mean that, right?

[Andrew]

Yeah, I mean, they're just saying, like,

[Haley Carnea]

yeah, he looks gay.

[Andrew]

Yeah, all guys hate other guys in a fun way.

[Haley Carnea]

Great. I feel like everyone just hates each other now. Like, women hate women, men hate other men, women hate men, men hate women. Everyone just hates each other. Everybody. Basically, everybody's gay, and everybody hates each other.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

At least with guys, though, like, one quick little spat and then you're. You're like best friends for life.

[Haley Carnea]

Yeah. Yeah. Women hold grudges a little bit more. Can you bring me my iPad for the last video? And then I'll play video 21. This is, you know, my. My feelings on AI and if we can use AI for good. Okay. If I feel like AI is being used for bad in most cases, and it's really not foolproof. Like, there's a lot of things that are good with AI and some that aren't. And you know, this couple, they used ChatGPT to try to talk with their own cat. Watch this.

[Andrew]

Hello, you guppy.

[Haley Carnea]

Chachi, PG is translating. Guppy, are you hungry? He says, I don't think it works. The cat is like, can you guys shut up? Actually, when I was playing that video on my phone, Birdie was kind of like, looking at me. So I don't know what it said,

[Andrew]

but I was just about to ask, like, do you do this?

[Haley Carnea]

No, I do not do this in my evenings. No, I do not. I talk to Birdie and she talks back at me. We just aren't speaking the same language. But every, every time that I talk, she does like chirp back at me and makes noises and we, you know, we have a little conversation. I don't know if she knows what I'm saying. I don't know what she's saying. But I can assume that it's give me more treats or it's time for bed.

[Andrew]

There's a connection there for sure.

[Haley Carnea]

There's a connection there. Okay, so this last video, this is a dog who's on its last legs and her name is Lita Beta Boda butt. My baby. This is Leda Vita Bodabut. She is so old and so fragile. Anybody to make fun of her has to be insane. This is my baby that I will take care of until she dies. I love her. She is my everything. Her and Emerald Jade Greenball Leta beat a Boda Butt is my everything. She may be old and fragile, but you know, everybody and every, every human and every animal, they, they, they're born and then they get old and die. People is like this. They get old and fragile. Every human will be like this. Old and fragile if they live long enough. That's true. Just think about it. If you live long enough, you'll be old and fragile just like her. Animal and human are the same. We are all the same. Someone in the chat said, looks possessed. Omg, that poor dog. Poor thing is cataracts. It's like a zombie dog. All right, so let's go through the comments here because people were having the same feelings. Someone in the chat said, is that animal dead? Better looking than Nancy and Hillary in the chat. I like it.

[Andrew]

Crypt keepers. Poodle is a top tier one for me.

[Haley Carnea]

Yes. So people in the comments were saying, what do you feed it souls? She was so cute when she was a pup. And it's a picture of hieroglyphics on the wall. On the wall of a cave. Date of birth. 1, 1, 1. Like the first year ever. She's still wearing her life jacket from the Titanic. That dog walked on and off of Noah's ark. She doesn't look a day over 2000 girl. She passed in 1895. People in the chat saying, that's an ugly dog. That poor dog. 1% battery life. She has seen empires rise and fall. First registered poodle in 22 BC. Her prime was with the dinosaurs. That's the original dog. I'm not sure she's ever dying. I wonder what she feeds this thing, how much water it gets. Like, how is it getting to this point? She's been here since Adam and Eve. If dogs had Social Security numbers, hers would be one. You're not supposed to dig them back up once they're in the ground. And on the eighth day, God created Lita. Lita Beta Buddha. But say her name three times and all my furniture started floating.

[Andrew]

That's a tough one to say. Three times fast, actually. Sorry I wasn't on the news.

[Haley Carnea]

She invented fetch. I just know her breath would clear when clear a room. She looks like she could see the past, present and future. I can hear the dog whispering, Release me. Let that ancient artifact rest in peace. She's the same age as water. She needs to run for Congress. We'll. We'll leave it at that. Term limits. And no one. No one at the same age as Lita beat a boda but needs to be in office. What? How old is she in. In human years, you think? What is it, like dog years or seven years? Human years plus time. Seven.

[Andrew]

It's transcendent time. At this point. She just is. She exists.

[Haley Carnea]

Yeah, she's beyond. She's beyond her time. Anyway, thank you for scrolling along with me. I will see you right back here tomorrow. Bye.

[Andrew]

Vince Colonnades is redefining News Talk.

[Haley Carnea]

I'm Vince Colonnades, host of the Vince Podcast. I'm bringing you the truth beneath the headlines of all of the nation's top stories. In depth interviews. We feature newsmaking interviews with the top guests on the whole planet.

[Chick Fil A Employee]

And I'll ask the questions you only

[Haley Carnea]

dream of other interviewers asking. And a front row seat to the most important conversations of the day. It's a show with an obsessive focus

[Don Lemon]

on what's good for America.

[Haley Carnea]

You are going to love Vince the Vince Show.

[Andrew]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform.