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Monica Kelsey: The Woman Who Is Saving Countless Babies - Nightly Scroll w/ Hayley Caronia (Ep.175)
00:28:06
In this episode of Nightly Scroll: Monica Kelsey, founder of Safe Haven Baby Boxes joins the show to discuss her amazing life story and organization, which has saved dozens of innocent babies to date.
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- [00:04]
A
When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans, send event invites and pin messages so no one forgets mom 60th and never miss a meme or milestone. All protected with end to end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone. Learn more@WhatsApp.com welcome to the Nightly Scroll.
- [00:31]
B
I am Haley Carania. Thank you for joining me this evening. Thank you to everyone who joins me live at 6pm Eastern Time. So hello to everyone in the chat. I have got a wonderful guest with an inspiring mission on the show tonight. But first a quick reminder to subscribe. Rumble.com Haley will bring you to the Bondino Report channel. Make sure that you are subscribed there so that you never miss a show. Monday through Friday 6pm Eastern time. If you can't catch us live and scroll with all my homies in the chat, that is okay. Watch whenever you want or catch us on Apple podcasts or Spotify. So thank you. I appreciate it. Tell a friend about the show and let's get into it. So some of the most shocking headlines I've seen recently involve these young mothers abandoning their babies. Back in September, a mother was arrested after her baby was found alive in a dumpster in in Columbus, Georgia left for dead behind a motel. Then in October, Lake and Snelling was charged after giving birth to her son at the University of Kentucky, admitting to authorities that her son was showing signs of life before she left him in her closet to die while she went to McDonald's. Then most recently, a 30 year old woman was charged after leaving an infant at Penn Station in New York City. And and despite safe haven laws in all 50 states that allow for women to drop off their babies, no questions asked, babies are still abandoned. These are the kinds of stories that make you wish there was some kind of a way to prevent all of this. To to give distressed mothers and women a safe way out and most importantly, to protect the innocent lives of the infants being left behind. Well, my next guest is the founder of Safe Haven Baby Boxes and she is on a mission to to provide round the clock support for mothers in need and an anonymous solution to get abandoned infants into helpful hands as fast as possible. Monica Kelsey joins tonight's episode of Nightly Scroll. Monica, thank you so much for joining me. I was just talking to you before this all started and I said I've been following you on social media for so long and I'VE always wanted to interview you, so I'm very, very glad that you're here tonight.
- [02:49]
A
Thanks for having me. I really appreciate it.
- [02:51]
B
So, because I've been following you, I know a little bit about your story, but for people who aren't familiar, how did this all come about for you? Were you always pro life and passionate about babies left behind, or was there something about your birth story that inspired all of this?
- [03:09]
A
So I grew up in the church. My parents raised us in the church. And so I've always been pro life, but I didn't really know what that meant until I kind of came face to face in the pro life movement with a story that I wasn't ready to accept, but realized that it was my life that I was. I was hearing. And I got to meet my biological mother when I was 37, and she was 17 years old. She was brutally attacked and raped and left along the side of the road. And this was in a time in our country when abortion was illegal, even in the cases of rape and incest. And I only say that because that. That literally saved my life, that law being in place. And so. But she pressed charges against this man, and he was arrested and he was charged. And that wasn't the worst of it. When her life was finally getting back to normal, she found out she was pregnant, and she was hidden for the remainder of the pregnancy, and then gave birth in April of 1973 and abandoned her child two hours after that child was born. And that child was me. So I literally stand on the front lines of the pro life movement and the abandonment movement as one of these kids that wasn't lovingly and safely and legally and anonymously, you know, saved in a safe haven baby box by a parent that wanted me. But this is my legacy, and I'm now their voice. I'm. I'm the voice for these moms who. Who choose something safe for their child, but sometimes just need a little help. And. And so I'm trying to be what my birth mom didn't have back in 1973.
- [04:36]
B
Well, that's wonderful. Do you know where you were abandoned and how you got into rightful hands?
- [04:43]
A
So I was abandoned at a hospital in Montpelier, Ohio, which was a small community in Williams County. And I literally, after I found all of this out, I went searching, and I got to know Montpelier, Ohio, pretty well. But. But, yeah, Montpelier, Ohio. At the hospital there, a little girl back on April 19, 1973, was left.
- [05:06]
B
Wow. So how does this work? Were you. You're abandoned at the hospital. And then were you put into a foster care type situation, waiting to be adopted? How does that work?
- [05:17]
A
Yeah, so they had never had a case like mine before. And they actually, I was at the hospital for nine days. I didn't need medical care, but they didn't know what to do with me. And so then they placed me in foster care and I spent nine weeks in foster care. And then the social worker called my, my mom and said, hey, we, we have a little girl that needs a home. And my, my mom said, bring me my daughter. So that's how it all started.
- [05:42]
B
Well, you are living proof that something beautiful, a blessing, can come out of something so horrific. And I think more women need to know that there, it's not the end for you if something like this happens. There's, there's life at the end of the tunnel. And certainly you went on to do a lot of great things, which we're going to get into. But you served in the military, right? So I want to get into how you became acquainted with baby boxes when you were in Cape Town, South Africa.
- [06:12]
A
So, yeah, so right after high school, I joined the United States military. I spent eight years, and that's where I got my love for firefighting. And then after I got out of the military, I joined the fire service, became a firefighter and a medic for many years. So I've always known about the safe haven law, but I didn't really realize what Christ was going to use me for until I was in Cape Town, South Africa, on a speaking tour with Pam Stenzel, who is an amazing speaker. She invited me to go, and we were standing at the only church in Cape Town, South Africa, that had a baby safe. And as I'm walking into this church, I'm like, what is this and what is it used for? And they said that, that women use this at night so that no one can see their face and they're completely anonymous. And I was just so intrigued by that, being a firefighter and a medic, knowing the safe haven law. I was like, could this work in the United States? And on the flight back from Cape Town, South Africa, on a delta napkin, I hand drew my version of the baby box and then brought it back to America and started an uphill movement. And I say uphill because this has been a fight. This has been a fight from the very beginning. We continue to fight today to make sure that women have this option. But Christ knew what he was doing when he gave me this job because he knew that I would never give up.
- [07:26]
B
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- [09:39]
A
Yeah. So no baby boxes was not in the United States. I actually started this in 2016. I installed the very first baby box at my firehouse and 18 months later, we got our first baby. And that changed everything, literally in the United States, because people seen that it could work. And women before were leaving babies at unsafe places. A lot of those places were just at the doors of Safe Haven locations where women at a firehouse, let's say a woman goes to a fire station and wants to surrender. Well, she walks up to the door, she rings the doorbell. They might be out on a call, they might be at a fire. And so whether she chose to ring the doorbell or not, these babies were being found on the doorsteps of these fire stations. And so I came up with a way for that to still happen, but by these women placing these babies in an electronically monitored baby box that alerts officials within two minutes.
- [10:33]
B
That's amazing. So, yeah, let's go into how these baby boxes work, what they look like, how the whole process works. Let's say a mother gives birth, she no longer wants to keep this child or can't care for this child. She knows that she wants to surrender it. She goes to a baby box. What happens next?
- [10:50]
A
So when a woman walks up to one of the baby boxes, all they have to do is open the door, place their unharmed child inside. There's an orange bag that actually falls out that has resources for the parent. She can take it or she can leave it, but then she just shuts the door and she walks away. The. The box automatically does everything. So mom doesn't have to do anything or dad doesn't have to do anything. All they have to do is open the door, place the baby inside, shut the door, and literally walk away. The box is already calling 911, and we've got three separate alarms on these boxes. So if one was to fail, the second one picks up because they're not connected to each other. And that's a safety feature of the design because we know that electronics can fail. And so if the door alarm fails, we know that the inside will pick up. And then we also have a power off alarm that if this box ever loses power, this box alerts first responders to let them know that box is without power. And then they have a key that they actually lock the outside door because the box is no good with no power.
- [11:45]
B
Right.
- [11:46]
A
So we've had, you know, and it's interesting, too, because I took what my critics were saying about the box and made it better. And so I'm saying one of the very first critic was we installed the very first two baby boxes in Woodburn and then Michigan City, and the door did not lock. And so when a mother places the baby inside the box and she shuts the door, right now the box locks. But prior to that, it didn't. And so my critics were like, well, what if somebody tries to steal this baby? They're just going to be able traffickers, whatever, can just walk up to the box, open it up, take this baby. And I'm like, you know what? They're right. And so I took that idea and I went back to our engineers and I said, I need this door to lock. As soon as that door is shut, it cannot reopen until first responders unlock it from the inside of the baby box. And we went to work and we redesigned the two boxes that were in the firehouses and then started every box after that having a lock.
- [12:44]
B
That's amazing. What's the success rate with the baby boxes? Getting the baby that's put into the box into helping hands?
- [12:52]
A
The success rate is 100% because our boxes have never failed. We've had 70 babies come through the baby box itself and 176 handoffs. And so over 250 women have come through the baby box program and 250 infants. And so that, to us, is a huge success.
- [13:07]
B
Wow. I mean, of course that's a success. So if a mom is, she's given birth, she is totally panicking. She's never heard of a baby box before. Maybe she doesn't even know about safe haven laws. If she is googling, what do I do with this baby? Will safe haven baby boxes come up? How do people find locations?
- [13:26]
A
That's actually the biggest expense we have is trying to get the wording right. So when somebody types something in that it comes back to either us or to a crisis pregnancy center, something that this mother can get help with. But yes, typing in abandoned baby, Safe haven law, baby Moses law, baby box, leaving baby at a fire station. It's all going to bring up resources for Safe Haven Baby Boxes hotline. And, and I want to make sure that everybody understands that when someone calls our hotline or 24 hour hotline, we're not, we're not telling these women to just go to these boxes. We're, we're asking them if they, you know, need help with a parenting plan or an adoption plan or could you walk into a fire station and hand that child to a person? If they can't, then obviously we're going to give them the directions of the baby box. But, you know, we've, we've had 176 women allow us to walk them into a fire station, you know, through the US on the phone. And. And that, to me, is success, because a lot of these baby boxes, of those 176 women, there were baby boxes in the wall at the firehouse. But we got these moms to walk in because we understand that a baby being handed to someone is safer than placing a baby in a box. But of course, we also understand that if a mother's not going to walk in, we want to have an alternative to where she doesn't have to face anyone and this baby's still safe.
- [14:42]
B
Right. And I've heard you talk about the difference between anonymity and confidentiality because, you know you can hand off the baby, and there's this wink, wink, nod, nod that you know you're not supposed to say anything. This is all in confidentiality. But a mom might be afraid to hand off the baby and have, you know, maybe this is the fire station in her hometown, and it's a small town, and people know, and maybe she feels embarrassed or ashamed or scared and doesn't want people to know. So talk to me a little bit about this anonymity aspect.
- [15:13]
A
Yeah, confidentiality is basically, they. They know who. They could. They could possibly know the identity of the person, but they're not going to tell anyone. And so anonymity means that anybody that goes to this box, obviously is getting anonymity, where we don't know your skin color, we don't know whether you're male or female. We are not going to ask any questions because we don't even know you're there. And so anonymity to some parents is very important. To others, confidentiality is just fine. But in a small community where everyone knows everyone, usually anonymity is what these women want because they're afraid that their dad's brother or their dad's friend works at the fire station and they might find out.
- [15:48]
B
And where does the baby go?
- [15:50]
A
So.
- [15:50]
B
So a mom drops her baby in the box, closes the door, it locks, alarm sounds. What happens?
- [15:58]
A
So the baby goes immediately to the hospital. It's immediate medical care. And then the baby is placed with the department of child Services in every state in this country but two. And the baby is placed in what we call the foster to adopt program. So these parents are already vetted to be able to adopt this baby. And then in two states, the babies go to an adoption agency, and they are placed then with a family that is basically paying for a child. Right. I do have my concerns about that, but that's for another day.
- [16:34]
B
And you have your baby boxes blessed, Is that right?
- [16:37]
A
I do. Every single one of them. Every one of them gets blessed before we. We actually flip the switch and make them live.
- [16:44]
B
That's awesome. I mean, the power of prayer is very powerful. That goes without saying. And I think all of these babies are blessings. And what's a little extra prayer gonna hurt? Not at all. So I wanted to tell you about or talk to you about this Lake and Snelling case. The University of Kentucky student, you know, the probe revealed that she told medical staff that the newborn she had given birth to in her college housing had a little bit of fetal movement and made a whimper after he was born. You know, it's easier to judge from where we're sitting and say, you should have done that. The roommates should have done this. You should have called. Right. So I'm not trying to, you know, victim blame here or. Or anything like that, but I'm thinking, you know, hours went by before her roommates called. What if the baby could have been saved? What if there was a baby box nearby? And I think a lot of these women, they. They're acting in the moment. They're making poor decisions. They want to remain anonymous, and then they're arrested, and their face and their name is all over the news when they could have just dropped the baby off, no questions asked, and it could have been anonymous. So how do you get the word out about baby boxes to younger women who might even be more scared in this situation?
- [18:11]
A
Our biggest marketing tool is social media. Social media is huge for us. We have about 2 million followers between TikTok and Facebook, and that is where a lot of these mothers even contact us. They will. They will DM us. We've had a mother that contacted us on Instagram after she placed in the box and only wanted to talk to me, and I did a TikTok on that, actually. But these women, they're trusted us, and the. The baby boxes is kind of the draw, to be honest with you. People are so intrigued by the baby boxes that when somebody sees a baby box video and me standing in front of a baby box, it gets millions of views. And so we're very strategic with those videos and, you know, grabbing the hearts of these moms so that they can trust us because we will fight for them. Now, this Lincoln Stelling case, you know, it's. It's a tragedy in itself. I don't know if she knew that. That the safe haven law existed in the state of Kentucky. I. I don't know that. But we we also have to be responsible for the decisions that we make. And unfortunately she did not make a good decision. And, and there's, there's punishment for that. But I, I do wish though that she would have reached out to us because we could have kept her safe, we could have kept her baby safe. But unfortunately that's not the case today.
- [19:29]
B
You know, safe haven laws differ state by state. I was reading about this recent case in New York where this 30 year old, 30 year old woman dropped a baby off in Penn, Pennsylvania Station. And in New York the safe haven law says that the baby has to be under 30 days old and left in a suitable location hospital or a manned fire station or police station. So what happens if someone is in a state where the safe haven law says it's 30 days, for example, and then someone puts a three month old in a Safe Haven baby box?
- [20:06]
A
We've actually have the, have this happen. This has happened in one of our boxes and our job doesn't change. Our job is still to take the baby, treat the baby and then transport the baby to the hospital. The person's job that changes is the Department of Child Services. They have to decide whether they're going to prosecute a mother who places a 90 day in our box or if they're going to try and contact her and give her some help. So it's truly up to them whether they want to prosecute. In this case that I, that we have already had, this baby was not placed through Safe Haven even though it came through the box. They, the Department of Child Services then changed it from a safe haven to an abandonment case and they did track down this mother. We highly came against that. Behind the scenes, you know, it's a, it's a CHINS case so it doesn't, you know, get any movement with the media, but behind the scenes we were fighting for this mom.
- [21:00]
B
Yeah, absolutely. What's your take on the differences by state? You know, like some states say that the baby can be a few days old, no questions asked. Other states say that you could drop a one year old off at a fire station and no questions asked. Do you have an. I mean I'm. Obviously we want all children to be saved and, and, and helpful and they, we want them to get the help that they need. But do you have an opinion on when the cutoff should be and should it be a nationwide thing? Is this something where you're pushing for certain legislation or is it just a state by state thing?
- [21:36]
A
Currently it's a state by state thing. It needs to be changed, though, it needs to be the same across the board. Because if we don't understand state laws, how are we supposed to give the information to the moms? You know, you're right, though. There is some states that are 72 hours. There's some that are, you know, seven days, 14 days, 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, one year. And if we're educating a mom in Indiana in the schools, which we do every year in schools, we're in schools and high schools and colleges, but we're educating her on the Indiana Safe Haven law, and then she goes to college in another state. Now it's a different law. And so we want to make sure that we're getting the right information to these moms. And unfortunately, sometimes when they leave one state and go to another, it's different. So we think 30 days, 95% of our babies that come through our baby boxes are within 24 hours old. These babies that we're getting still have placenta still attached. Their cord is cut but not clamped. I mean, we're getting babies that are born in places that no one knows, and then they're being brought to us, which is fine. You know, we want this to happen if this is how she wants to do it. Um, but having it at 30 days across the board or 60 days across the board, I think would be ideal. A year. I have my reservations with a year. I mean, if someone surrenders a baby that's 11 months old, this baby's been with that family for 11 months. And so we're talking about a different psychological trauma to a child that has been loved by one family and now all of all of a sudden ripped away. And. And, you know, babies that are 24 hours old, they haven't bonded with anyone yet. And so getting them to a family immediately is crucial so that they can bond with that family. And that's one of the things that we fight for across this country, is getting these babies in the arms of their forever families as quickly as possible.
- [23:28]
B
You know, after the overturning of Roe vs Wade, there was this narrative that pro life people are really only pro birth. And then, you know, know, once the baby's born, they don't care anymore. And just based on this conversation, I know that that's not true because you have a 24 hour hotline for moms to help them with this parenting plan if they need it. Do you keep up with any of the Safe Haven babies or box babies when they get older? Do you follow their stories at all?
- [23:56]
A
We do. And that's probably the best part of my job, is loving these mamas and loving these babies. Um, now, if an adoptive family doesn't want us to be a part of their. Their child's life, then obviously we can't. But the majority of them, they call us and. And we. We go to their birthday parties. I was at an adoption party last month in New Mexico. Um, just being able to love on these kids, you know, we. We fight so hard for these moms and these babies, and then to be able to love on them is just kind of the bonus, you know? I mean, it. It's. It's probably the best part of my job, to be completely honest with you.
- [24:29]
B
Well, that's wonderful to hear. And your logo is the footprint of a baby Amelia. So what is her story, and how does she inspire what you all do every day for all of the rest of the babies that you come in contact with?
- [24:42]
A
So baby Amelia was actually found in the woods in December of 2014 in Indiana. And it's interesting, this case, I talk about this a lot because the footprint is baby Amelia's that is on our logo. And when I heard her story first, I was so intrigued by this, because I wanted to see the autopsy of this case. And I. I say intrigued as in not excited, but I wanted to see how she died, because that speaks volumes when you find a baby in the woods. But this baby. Baby Amelia was found in the woods, and the coroner gave us a copy of her footprint because her arms and legs, that's the only thing that we could get, because her arms and legs had been gnawed at by animals. And that's the reality of. Of infants being left in unsafe places. And so getting the. The autopsy and seeing this. This case broke my heart. And it makes me want to fight harder knowing that. That she didn't die from exposure, she died from blood loss. And that just tears my heart up. So we honor her in Indiana with the footprint on our logo. And so her footprint has been seen millions of times on social media, on our boxes, on our literature, on our billboards. And so we're. We're bringing a. A footprint to life, you know, and we all have a footprint, but it's all always different. And so she's. She's changing the world with her footprint, whether she knows it or not.
- [26:18]
B
That's amazing. How much does it cost to install a box at a fire station or elsewhere?
- [26:25]
A
So the installation is always different. I cannot give an exact total. We've had locations that pay, you know, for everything. 17 18,000. We've had some locations that pay 25,000. You know, every fire station is built differently, and so every contractor that they hire. We don't hire the contractor. They hire the contractor to come in and install the box charges different. And so that's really the difference is what the contractor charges. But for literally $25,000, we've had one baby box that had four babies in it. We've had, I think, three baby boxes that have had three babies in it. And you think about that. Just $25,000. And that's on the high end. $25,000 for four babies saved so far. That's just what they've saved so far. And so we're literally saving babies one box at a time. And. And for $25,000 for lives. Yeah. 100%. 100%.
- [27:22]
B
So how can someone who's watching or listening support you or even sponsor a box? And how can they get involved?
- [27:28]
A
We have to get the literature into the schools because we can install boxes all over this country, but if no one knows they're there, no one's going to use them. And so that. That's. That's one of the jobs that our volunteers do. Um, so the volunteers are critical to an organization like ours. So if someone wants to volunteer, contact us. We can always find something for you to do.
- [27:49]
B
Well, I would love to be a volunteer. I will go to schools around here and, you know, scream it from the rooftops about Safe Haven baby boxes. So you can count on me. I will. I'll raise my hand right now. I am. I'm very passionate about what you're doing. So thank you so much for joining Nightly Scroll.
- [28:06]
A
Monica, thank you so much for having me. Truly appreciate it.
- [28:09]
B
Wow. Like I said, I have been wanting to interview Monica for so long, and like she was saying in the interview, I was one of those people that was enamored by her videos of her standing in front of the baby box. And I thought, what is this? I've never seen this before. I've never heard of this before. So I was one of those people that saw that video and was immediately hooked. I followed her. I've been following her for years, and I'm so, so glad that I got to do this. Sit down. And so if you are like me and you are interested in finding out more about Safe Haven baby boxes, go to shbb.org thank you so much for tuning in. I hope you enjoyed this interview as much as I did. You can follow me at Haley Carania on social media, and I will see you right back here next time. Bye.
- [29:00]
A
Sam.