Nightly Scroll with Hayley Caronia

Episode 185: Waddle & Gobble Receive Presidential Pardons!
Host: Hayley Caronia
Guests: Scott Bryson (former Secret Service agent, security expert)
Date: November 26, 2025

Overview

Hayley Caronia brings her characteristic sharp conservative wit to a pre-Thanksgiving episode centered on the White House tradition of the presidential turkey pardon, with this year’s headline-making turkeys: Waddle and Gobble. The episode quickly pivots into keen political commentary, some viral pop culture, lively discussions on security during holiday shopping, social media trends, and biting critiques of political and cultural figures. Laughs abound as Hayley reviews Trump’s stand-up-worthy turkey pardon event, then turns practical with guest Scott Bryson’s seasonal safety advice and wraps up with viral TikToks and cultural side-notes.

Presidential Turkey Pardons Take Center Stage

The Tradition & This Year’s Honorees (03:05–06:30)

• Background: The annual Presidential Turkey Pardon has grown from a grim practice (the turkeys used to be eaten by the President) into a family-friendly tradition since the 1970s.
• White House Festivities:
  • The National Turkey Federation presents two turkeys, this year named Waddle and Gobble.
  • “It's so cute. It’s so wholesome. And the President… is presented with a live domestic turkey.” — Hayley Caronia (03:46)
• The Turkeys’ Five-Star Stay: Turkeys sleep at the Willard Intercontinental Hotel prior to their Rose Garden debut. Hayley jests, “If illegal immigrants can get hotel rooms, the least we can do is put up the turkeys.” (05:02)
• Pop Culture Flair: The White House social media team introduced Waddle and Gobble in a "Love Island" style video:
  • “52 pounds of golf-loving and Bojangle biscuit eating energy…”
  • “Fueled entirely by sweet potatoes and Cheerwine floats…” (04:49–05:55)
• Fun Fact: The public helps name the turkeys. Previous pairs included Chocolate & Chip, Peanut Butter & Jelly, Liberty & Freedom, etc. (06:13)

Trump’s “Standup Special” Pardon Event (07:01–12:54)

• Re-Parsoning & Political Jabs:
  • Trump jokes that last year’s pardons by “Sleepy Joe Biden” with an autopen are invalid:

    “After a thorough and very rigorous investigation… I have determined that last year's turkey pardons are totally invalid, as are the pardons of about every other person that was pardoned, other than... Hunter’s was good.” — Donald Trump (07:19)

  • “President swoops in, President Trump swoops in to save the day!” — Hayley (08:38)
• This Year’s Pardon:
  • Trump officially pardons Waddle and Gobble, cheesily declaring:

    “Gobble, I just want to tell you this, very important: you are hereby unconditionally... hard gag—” (gobble sound) — Donald Trump (09:02)

  • Hayley cracks up: “I like the noise that came out of President Trump. I don’t know if he was trying to imitate the turkey’s gobble, but again, right on cue.” (09:23)
• Don Jr.’s Quip:
  • “How long till a leftist federal judge reverses the turkey’s pardons?” — Hayley quoting Don Jr. (09:32)
• ‘Chuck and Nancy’ Joke:
  • “I was going to call them Chuck and Nancy. But then I realized I wouldn’t be pardoning them. I would never pardon those two people. I wouldn’t care what Melania told me. Darling, I think it would be a nice thing to do. I won’t do it, darling.” — Donald Trump (10:09)
• ‘MAHA Turkeys’ and Subtle Jabs at Pritzker:
  • The turkeys are the largest ever, at 52 pounds. “Secretary Kennedy has formally certified that these are the first ever MAHA turkeys.” (10:52)
  • Trump takes a jab at Illinois governor J.B. Pritzker’s size, then backtracks:

    “I would never want to talk about his weight. I don’t talk about people being fat. I refuse to talk about the fact that he’s a fat slob. I don’t mention it.” — Donald Trump (12:11)

Holiday Safety & Scam Awareness

Navigating Holiday Events & Black Friday (16:32–23:02)

With guest Scott Bryson (ex-Secret Service, security expert):

• Staying Safe in Crowds:

  • “What you have to do… you have to like we talk about on your show all the time, the color codes of awareness… have an avenue of escape… be attuned to your environment…” — Scott Bryson (17:12)
  • Situation cited: Chicago tree-lighting turned into a riot; the need to be vigilant even in “sleepy little towns.” (16:57)
  • Keep to the outskirts of crowds, be situationally aware, and watch especially for out-of-place lone individuals (18:11–18:41)

• Black Friday Deal Scams:

  • Viral video shows “sale” tags with the same prices as pre-Black Friday (19:21–19:45)
  • “It’s a retail psy-op.” — Scott Bryson (19:45)
  • “Is this something that I need or is this something I want?” (19:50)
  • The lines between real bargains and marketing are increasingly blurred—watch for fake discounts!

Package Theft & Porch Pirates (20:28–25:24)

• Sophisticated Rings:
  • News clip details a 14-member “porch pirate” ring in Suffolk County, NY, apparently assisted by FedEx insiders.
• Homeowner Defenses:
  • Viral video: Carlos Mejia confronts a thief with a bat. He refrained from violence. “You know, in this crazy world that we live in, he would be the one going to jail instead of the other guy.” — Scott Bryson (24:20)
  • Cameras help for evidence, but thieves less deterred; best defense is to time deliveries for when you’re home. “If someone comes up my driveway at 4 o’clock in the morning, I’m not gonna remember that you ordered Amazon. It’s going to be a problem for somebody.” (24:50)

Political & Cultural Scuffles

White House Press Room Drama (26:04–27:20)

• Caroline Levitt vs. April Ryan:
  • Levitt, the White House Press Secretary, maintains composure as liberal journalist April Ryan “yaps” out of turn.
  • Hayley’s “golden rule”: “Sit down and shut up. You have to know when that’s appropriate.” (26:44)
  • Hayley draws a parallel to Trump’s infamous “quiet piggy” retort, expressing empathy for Levitt’s patience.

Joy Reid & Left-Wing Media Outrage (28:41–33:55)

• Critique of “I’ve Had It” Podcast & Joy Reid:
  • “They are just lashing out at [Republican women]. … They just lose all decorum. Anything goes with them.” — Hayley (30:01)
  • Joy Reid and podcast hosts speculate about a conspiracy involving VP J.D. Vance’s wife and grieving widow Erica Kirk, with racial undertones:

    “That ain’t gonna work. That's why he's throwing his wife under the bus… Or she’s in on it, right?” — Joy Reid (28:41)

  • Hayley’s rebuke: “They are the ones obsessed with race. … They are the ones who are racist.” (31:31)
  • Reference to Democrat double standards (Jill Biden kissing Kamala Harris’s husband)—“No divorce rumors were swirling. Nothing.” (33:24)

Transgender Controversies in Sports (33:55–41:01)

• Strongman Games Incident:
  • Jamie “Jammy” Booker, a transgender woman, wins the “women’s” strongman event, is later disqualified after protest.
  • “If blood tests are required ahead of time for all sporting events in the future — do it then. It’s the only way…” — Hayley (36:27)
  • UK lifter Andrea Thompson, “the rightful woman winner,” reacts: “This is bullshit. Can we go now?” (34:26)
  • Hayley questions the organizers’ professed ignorance: “If all the women knew, how did the organization not know?” (35:47)
• California Locker Room Safety:
  • Tish Hyman confronts Eric Swalwell over men in women’s locker rooms:

    “I will protect women. No woman should be harassed in a locker room. That’s a crime.” — Eric Swalwell (40:45)

  • Hayley calls out evasiveness: “He never said he’d keep trans people out. … Mentally ill men can still enter the women’s locker room in Eric Swalwell’s view.” (41:01)

Democrat Meltdowns & Virtue Signaling (42:00–45:00)

• Afton Bain’s Antics:
  • Outspoken Dem Nashville candidate, seen dragged out of the Tennessee House gallery for disruptive protest.
  • Hayley’s main worry: someone’s Chick-Fil-A lunch fell in the scuffle. “I just want to make sure. Is the Chick-Fil-A okay?” (44:13)

Cultural Commentary: Body Image, Ozempic, and Pop Culture (45:00–52:43)

• Lizzo’s “Fat Erasure” Rant:

  • “Why is everybody losing weight and what do we do? Sincerely, a person who’s lost weight.” — Lizzo (45:31)
  • “The healthier the people are, the better. … It’s about living as good of a life as you can.” — Hayley (47:39)
  • Lizzo claims she fought “mammy tropes” with hypersexuality in her act—Hayley calls it “a crazy thing to say.” (47:11)

• Wicked Movie Cast’s Extreme Thinness:

  • Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo’s dramatic weight loss (are they abusing Ozempic?).
  • “Maybe they’re on Ozempic, maybe it’s something else… but they’re scary, very scary looking.” (49:40)
  • “I hope that these women are okay because it’s not looking good.” — Hayley (52:19)

• Martha Stewart, 84, in ‘Give Great Jeans’ Campaign:

  • “[Martha] looks really good for 84.”
  • “After doing ‘great jeans’ and seeing how the left melted down over it, they’re doing it again. Give great jeans!” — Hayley (54:18)
  • Recaps hysteria over “blonde hair, blue eyes equals fascism” claims when American Eagle featured Sydney Sweeney.

Viral Scrolling Segment (55:00–End)

• TikTok Misconceptions:
  • Viral TikToker thought glasses contained “medicine”—“At her big age, she thought there was medicine in the glasses…” — Hayley (56:45)
  • “If you were wondering who she voted for, it wasn’t Trump.” (57:08)
• DIY Prank Video:
  • “This would freak me out. This would get me.” (58:36)
  • Hayley laughs at a drill prank gone viral—has fun with lighthearted content after heavy topics.
• Kid Drama:
  • Young girl shrieks “Chop my foot off!” over a minor scrape—classic “kids are dramatic” fare to cap the show. (59:55)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Trump’s Turkey Pardon Comedy:
  • “This was a standup comedy special if I’ve ever seen one.” — Hayley (07:17)
• On Waddle & Gobble’s fate:
  • “They’re going to live in peace forever. They never have to worry about becoming Thanksgiving dinner ever again.” — Hayley (06:33)
• On scams:
  • “It’s a retail psy-op.” — Scott Bryson (19:45)
• On strongman controversy:
  • “If all the women knew, then how did the organization not know? … I think they need to figure out who has a penis in their pants before the competition begins.” — Hayley (35:47)
• On cultural double standards:
  • “They are the ones obsessed with race. … They are the ones who are racist.” — Hayley (31:31)
• On body image:
  • “It’s not healthy to be fat. It’s not healthy to be too skinny. … I just hope the little girls who are watching this don’t think that this is something to aspire to be.” — Hayley (51:51)

Key Timestamps

| Segment | Time | |-------------------------------|-------------| | White House Turkey Pardon | 03:05–12:54 | | Security Tips: Holiday Events | 16:32–18:41 | | Black Friday & Retail Scams | 19:21–19:45 | | Porch Pirate Crime Ring | 20:28–23:16 | | Viral TikTok: Glasses “Medicine” | 55:53–57:08 | | Martha Stewart for AE Jeans | 53:01–55:12 |

Tone & Take

• Hayley’s Delivery: Blunt, humorous, and unapologetic, balancing outrage at progressive politics with comedic punchlines.
• Scott Bryson’s Advice: Down-to-earth, practical, with a slightly weary edge from years in law enforcement.
• Notable Moments: Trump’s standup-worthy speech; wry quips about activist judges overturning turkey pardons; gripes at leftwing “virtue signaling”; trenchant jabs at “trans lunacy” and Democrats’ gender politics.

For Listeners Who Missed the Show

Hayley’s episode is a quick-moving, irreverent blend of politics, culture, and viral trends, laced with sarcasm and strong conservative commentary. Catching this show gives you a snapshot of the current holiday season’s culture-war flashpoints, the latest meme-worthy moments from D.C., a healthy dose of skepticism about modern retail, and, of course, a solid helping of turkey humor.