No Dunks – "Ranking Every Team's Best Player"

Date: September 23, 2025
Hosts: Trey Kirby, Tas Melas

Episode Overview

Trey and Tas tackle the ambitious project of ranking each NBA team's best player according to their relative level among NBA peers for the upcoming 2025–26 season. Using a tier system—MVP Table, All-NBA, All-Star, Good Starter, and "In the Land of the Blind, The One-Eyed Man is King"—they debate, analyze, and often bicker about who deserves to sit where. The episode is littered with banter, fresh off-season optimism, frustration about injuries and league trends, and plenty of signature No Dunks humor.

Key Segments & Discussion Points

Early Season Vibes & NBA News

[00:08 – 12:29]

• Hosts’ banter about off-season optimism: Trey and Tas joke about always wanting to go "over" on team win totals before the season's reality sets in.
• Fred VanVleet's ACL injury (Houston Rockets):
  • VanVleet likely out for the entire season, severely impacting the Rockets' title hopes.
  • Discussion on Houston’s replacement options (Amen Thompson, Reed Sheppard, Aaron Holiday).
  • Rockets' need to make a trade for a veteran point guard; names mentioned include Kobe White, Jrue Holiday, CJ McCollum, Monte Morris, and skepticism about Russell Westbrook.
  • Quote (Tas, 03:20):
    "The Rockets aren’t a championship team without Fred VanVleet. He is a rock."
• Tyler Herro's foot surgery (Miami Heat):
  • Out for 8 weeks; Heat likely to struggle offensively with Norman Powell and Davion Mitchell filling in.
  • Heat’s future outlook; “play-in” tier expectations, and Miami’s slim NBA Cup chances.
  • Quote (Trey, 15:48):
    "They don’t have options… Norm Powell certainly starting should be the main perimeter option for the Heat."

The Tier System Explained

[19:53 – 22:15]

• Tier definitions:
  • MVP Table: True MVP contenders.
  • All-NBA: Among league’s best, likely All-NBA.
  • All-Star: High-level players, but not quite All-NBA material.
  • Good Starter: Quality starter, but not a star.
  • One-Eyed Man is King: Merely the best guy on a bad team.

Team-By-Team Best Player Rankings

Atlanta Hawks – Trae Young

[22:24 – 25:09]

• Consensus: High-level All-Star, bordering All-NBA if the Hawks perform.
• Quote (Tas, 22:24):
  "This is the year Trae Young says I’m leading this team… I think he’s grown as a player."

Boston Celtics – Jaylen Brown

[27:47 – 30:47]

• Debate if he’s a “solid starter” or All-Star; concern about injury and increased responsibilities with Tatum out.
• Quote (Tas, 27:53):
  "I’m putting him as a solid starter… he was up and down without Tatum."

Brooklyn Nets – Michael Porter Jr.

[30:55 – 33:29]

• “In the land of the blind…” tier; a solid starter but not a true #1.
• Quote (Trey, 33:27):
  "You don’t want him to be your best player, which is why I had to create the tier."

Charlotte Hornets – LaMelo Ball

[33:29 – 36:43]

• “Good starter” tier due to injury history and team context.
• Quote (Tas, 33:57):
  "It’s weird when a guy doesn’t play a lot of basketball… I just don’t see him making the All-Star Game."

Chicago Bulls – Josh Giddey

[36:43 – 38:36]

• “Good starter” tier; acknowledged upside but uncertainty if he should be #1.
• Quote (Trey, 37:48):
  "You don’t want Josh Giddey to be your best player, but guess what? He is."

Cleveland Cavaliers – Donovan Mitchell

[39:09 – 40:45]

• “MVP table,” fifth in MVP voting last year, first All-NBA team, Cavs should be strong again.
• Quote (Tas, 39:09):
  "Throw him at the MVP table. I think he belongs in the conversation."

Dallas Mavericks – Anthony Davis

[40:45 – 42:59]

• “All-Star;” games played and lack of a true setup man could hinder higher honors.
• Quote (Tas, 41:22):
  "When he’s not seriously hurt… 10 All-Star appearances is wild."

Denver Nuggets – Nikola Jokic

[43:17 – 44:16]

• MVP table—no debate. Possibly league’s best player.
• Quote (Trey, 43:49):
  "He is sitting at the MVP table."

Detroit Pistons – Cade Cunningham

[45:16 – 46:57]

• “All-NBA” tier; massive leap last season, expected to sustain production.
• Quote (Trey, 46:57):
  "I still do think Cade is going to make all NBA this season."

Golden State Warriors – Stephen Curry

[47:10 – 51:06]

• “All-NBA;” debate if he’s MVP-table material, but lingering age and depth issues push him down.
• Quote (Trey, 50:07):
  "I don’t think Steph Curry is ever going to win another MVP…"

Houston Rockets – Alperen Sengun

[51:57 – 54:17]

• “All-NBA” after a breakout, with Fred VanVleet’s absence pushing larger playmaking load.
• Quote (Tas, 52:28):
  "He’s a lock for an All-Star forever."

Indiana Pacers – Pascal Siakam

[54:51 – 56:29]

• “All-Star,” maybe a fringe All-NBA if Pacers overachieve.
• Quote (Tas, 55:43):
  "He needs somebody beside him who is awesome to actually make it to All-NBA."

LA Clippers – Kawhi Leonard / James Harden

[57:40 – 60:10]

• “All-Star,” but only if healthy. Both described as fading stars.
• Quote (Tas, 57:40): "He hasn’t been an All-Star much recently… he’s fading from the All-Star status."

LA Lakers – Luka Doncic

[60:36 – 62:25]

• “MVP Table,” behind Jokic and Giannis, but clear elite.
• Quote (Tas, 62:28): "Even though I want to stick him at the end of the [MVP table]… he belongs ahead of Donovan Mitchell."

Memphis Grizzlies – Ja Morant

[63:46 – 66:08]

• “Good starter;” recognized as a former All-NBA, but off-court issues and Jaren Jackson's ascendancy drop him down.
• Quote (Trey, 64:30): "When I think of Ja Morant, I definitely don’t think of him as just a good starter… but that’s kind of fair for right now."

Miami Heat – Bam Adebayo

[66:58 – 69:01]

• “Good starter;” valuable defensively, but not offensive centerpiece.
• Quote (Tas, 67:54):
  "It feels odd excluding him from the All-Stars, but I have him as a solid starter."

Milwaukee Bucks – Giannis Antetokounmpo

[69:01 – 71:19]

• MVP Table—top three, consistent MVP threat with massive load this year.
• Quote (Trey, 69:44):
  "As long as he plays 65 games, the guy finishes top four in MVP every year."

Minnesota Timberwolves – Anthony Edwards

[71:22 – 73:58]

• MVP Table—ascending into league’s top crop.
• Quote (Tas, 73:58): "He may be the best American player very soon… he belongs [at the MVP table]."

New Orleans Pelicans – Zion Williamson

[75:04 – 76:59]

• “Good starter;” health concerns dominate, despite immense talent.
• Quote (Tas, 75:31):
  "He hasn’t played in an All-Star Game the last two seasons … I see a world where Zion does not make the All-Star Game."

New York Knicks – Jalen Brunson

[79:20 – 80:41]

• MVP Table—Knicks viewed as prime overachievers, Brunson should get credit.
• Quote (Trey, 80:41):
  "If you’re telling me Jalen Brunson is the guy who’s going to be doing the order, he’s got to be sitting at the table."

OKC Thunder – Shai Gilgeous-Alexander

[81:55 – 83:08]

• MVP Table—reigning MVP, second-best player at worst.
• Quote (Trey, 82:25): "There’s no way he’s lower than two on the list of best players, which is where we got him now."

Orlando Magic – Paolo Banchero

[83:51 – 86:07]

• “All-NBA” tier—projected to break through with Magic’s rise.
• Quote (Trey, 85:19):
  "I think Paolo will make All-NBA and I think Franz [Wagner] will make his first All-Star team this year."

Philadelphia 76ers – Joel Embiid (or Tyrese Maxey)

[86:36 – 88:02]

• "Good starter" due to health; last year's MVP has fallen far with injury and uncertainty.
• Quote (Tas, 87:41):
  "The best thing we could put him at is good starter. A former MVP player who’s not super old."

Phoenix Suns – Devin Booker

[89:06 – 90:04]

• “All-Star;” leadership under scrutiny as roster has turned over.
• Quote (Tas, 89:06):
  "I’m putting him at the All-Star category."

Portland Trail Blazers – Deni Avdija

[91:15 – 91:53]

• “Good starter;” embodies team’s transitional state.
• Quote (Tas, 91:15): "Deni is a really good player. He’s easily a solid starter."

Sacramento Kings – Domantas Sabonis

[92:46 – 94:06]

• “Good starter,” borderline all-star but other pieces crowd him out.
• Quote (Trey, 94:06):
  "I think he slots in where Bam Adebayo is – not a lock as an All-Star."

San Antonio Spurs – Victor Wembanyama

[95:17 – 97:30]

• "All-NBA;" not yet in MVP race but rapidly rising.
• Quote (Tas, 95:17):
  "There will be a day where he’s at the MVP table; not this year."

Toronto Raptors – Scottie Barnes

[97:58 – 100:12]

• “All-Star” (borderline); development depends on Brandon Ingram’s impact.
• Quote (Tas, 99:28):
  "He could do it. Again, it’s on Brandon Ingram’s shoulders to me, but I think Scottie Barnes would get the credit."

Utah Jazz – Lauri Markkanen

[101:38 – 102:49]

• “All-Star” (borderline, but on a bad team); hosts argue if he'll get another nod.
• Quote (Tas, 102:30):
  "He’s too good to be a one-time All-Star in this league."

Washington Wizards – Alex Sarr

[104:13 – 106:02]

• “One-Eyed Man is King;” maybe C.J. McCollum, but Sarr symbolizes the franchise’s current status.
• Quote (Trey, 105:03):
  "I think the Wizards might have the worst best player in the league."

Notable Quotes & Running Bits

• On Brooklyn & Washington’s rosters:
  (Trey, 33:27) "You don’t want him to be your best player, which is why I had to create the tier."
• On the crowded MVP Table:
  (Trey, 81:55) "It is getting crowded. We already got six people at dinner. I know there’s another, at least one that’s going to be added."
• League metaphors:
  Consistent use of the dinner/MVP table as a metaphor for league hierarchy, with in-jokes about "who’s ordering."
• On Victor Wembanyama’s future:
  (Tas, 95:17) "There will be a day where he’s at the MVP table; not this year."
• On Wizards’ rebuild:
  (Trey, 105:03) "I think the Wizards might have the worst best player in the league."
• On Toronto’s optimism:
  (Tas, 99:28) "He could do it. Again, it’s on Brandon Ingram’s shoulder to me, but I think Scottie Barnes would get the credit."
• Nuggets about team-building and the state of NBA parity, like: (Trey, 51:06) "I wonder what that guy’s gonna do with his post NBA career. Go to the Senior PGA Tour?"

Rankings Table Snapshot (Partial)

| MVP Table | All-NBA | All-Star | Good Starter | 1-Eyed Man is King | |-------------------------|--------------------|--------------------|----------------------|-------------------------| | Nikola Jokic | Paolo Banchero | Trae Young | Bam Adebayo | Michael Porter Jr. | | Giannis Antetokounmpo | Cade Cunningham | Devin Booker | Ja Morant | Alex Sarr (Wizards) | | Luka Doncic | Shai Gilgeous-Alex.| Pascal Siakam | Josh Giddey | | | Jalen Brunson | Alperen Sengun | Jalen Brown | LaMelo Ball | | | Donovan Mitchell | Victor Wembanyama | Kawhi Leonard | Zion Williamson | | | Anthony Edwards | Stephen Curry | Scottie Barnes | Deni Avdija | | | | | Lauri Markkanen | Domantas Sabonis | |

(See episode for full table)

Memorable Moments

• [25:20] Trey drops, "It’s over for Patrick Beverly. As Trae Young said. He said, thank you for your service. It’s been great. You’re done."
• [51:57] Both hosts refuse to name Kevin Durant as Rockets' best player since he hasn't played a game in Houston yet—leading to discussions of Photoshopped jerseys.
• [107:16] Hilarious aside about Glenn Powell in "Chad Powers" and then pivoting to a recommendation on recent movies.
• **Banter about who would (literally) do the ordering at the MVP dinner table, and talk about “kids’ table" for borderline MVPs in the Stream Team chat.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:08 – Introduction & early season optimism
• 02:40 – Rankings project + injury news (VanVleet, Herro)
• 19:53 – Tier system explained; team-by-team starts
• 22:24 – Atlanta (Trae Young) discussion begins
• 39:09 – Cleveland (Donovan Mitchell) joins MVP tier
• 43:17 – Nuggets’ Jokic: “the world’s best player” talk
• 79:20 – Knicks (Jalen Brunson) enters MVP debate
• 81:55 – Thunder (SGA): Reigning MVP talk
• 95:17 – Spurs (Wemby): All-NBA/ MVP table debate
• 104:13 – Wizards (Alex Sarr): worst-best player
• 108:43 – Final recap: "should there be 15 at the top tier?"
• 110:00+ – Tease for second-best player episode

Tone & Language

• Tone: Irreverent, clever, stat-nerdy, playfully combative (especially around player tiers and injuries), and full of meme/stream culture references.
• Language: Conversational, passionate, peppered with NBA slang, No Dunks in-jokes, and gentle jabs at each other (and some teams).
• Interaction with listeners: Active engagement and Q&A via the "Stream Team," referencing comments live.

Takeaways

• The pod offers a fun yet insightful look at the league’s hierarchy and just how many teams’ best players are fringe stars or “one-eyed men.”
• Major injuries (VanVleet, Herro, Embiid, etc.) fundamentally shape perceptions about contending teams’ ceilings.
• Some teams are loaded with young potential but have yet to find a true face (Wizards, Blazers, Jazz, Nets).
• The NBA’s parity and movement create a tier structure that is often subjective and fluid—a theme the hosts embrace.
• As always with No Dunks, the mix of basketball smarts and sitcom-like comedy means you get entertainment and analysis in full measure.

Final Word (111:32):
"Embrace the breakfast, people." —Trey