Dee Salmin has spent years talking to other people about love, sex and relationships as the host of triple j’s The Hook Up. But behind the mic, her own dating life was far more complicated than you might expect.

In her early twenties, Dee found herself stuck in a pattern — chasing men who were hot and cold, accepting behaviour she now knows she deserved better than, and constantly seeking validation that never quite stuck.

So she made a radical decision. She stopped dating entirely.

For nearly three years, Dee went “boy sober”, stepping away from apps, relationships and even casual flings to figure out who she was without men at the centre of her life.

In this conversation with Kate Langbroek, Dee opens up about what that time taught her, the therapy that helped her understand her patterns, and the moment everything shifted.

She also shares what it’s been like to find love again — this time in the public eye — and how she’s approached building a relationship on her own terms, without losing herself in it.

And beyond her own story, Dee reflects on the reality of modern dating, why so many women feel like the bar is on the floor, and what it actually takes to build a relationship that feels secure, respectful and real.

Dee Salmin's book is It’s Not Love, Actually is out now.

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CREDITS:

Guest: Dee Salmin

Host: Kate Langbroek

Group Executive Producer: Naima Brown

Executive Producer: Bree Player

Assistant Producer: Coco Lavigne

Audio and Video Producer: Josh Green

Social Media Producer: Olivia Colman

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