Ten Years, One Afternoon, and a Donor She Wasn't Supposed to Find That Fast

A brief note: this episode touches on Jessica's mum's terminal cancer diagnosis, which arrived while she was starting IVF. Nothing graphic — just wanted you to know it's there.

Jessica always knew she'd be a mum. What she had, that a lot of solo mums don't, was a role model: her aunt, a solo mum by choice back in the early '90s, back when it wasn't spoken about at all. Jessica set herself a deadline — 32 — and spent the years before it doing the groundwork: leaving a teaching career that had wrecked her mental health, retraining as a nurse through COVID, having bariatric surgery, losing 70 kilos.

By the time she walked into her fertility clinic, her mum had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Jessica kept going anyway — her mum wanted it that way. She found her donor on the very first afternoon she looked at profiles, then spent days convincing herself it couldn't really be that simple. It was. Her egg collection came back lower than hoped, four eggs, three fertilised — but two became embryos, and her fresh transfer implanted the same day her nan passed away.

Her mum was too unwell to be in the room for the caesarean she'd always planned to be at. Her dad stepped in instead, and cut the cord. Jessica calls it the best moment of her life — calm, exactly as she'd hoped, nothing like the year that was about to follow.

In this episode:

Growing up with a solo-mum-by-choice aunt, and what a good example of the journey looks like when you're young
Leaving teaching, moving home, and choosing nursing — specifically anaesthetics — for the job security and flexibility motherhood would need
Bariatric surgery, losing 70 kilos, and reversing her PCOS along the way
Her mum's terminal cancer diagnosis landing right as she started the fertility process — and choosing to keep going
Finding her sperm donor on the very first day, and the days it took her to believe that was real
A lower-than-hoped egg collection — 4 eggs, 3 fertilised — and why "still four" was enough
Falling pregnant the same day her nan passed away
Hyperemesis gravidarum, advanced maternal age, and working as an anaesthetic nurse through a high-risk pregnancy
Her dad stepping in for the planned caesarean, and cutting the cord

Key Takeaways

Groundwork for solo motherhood — financial, physical, mental — can start years before you make the "official" decision
Finding your donor fast isn't a red flag. It's allowed to be simple.
A low egg collection number isn't the end of the story. It only takes one.
You don't have to pause a fertility journey because life gets hard at the same time — sometimes it's the reason to keep going

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility

Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

Pregnant or TTC Solo?

Expecting Solo takes you through everything you need to navigate pregnancy solo, share your news with confidence, and bring joy to the journey. Find out more.