Listen Now: Talkaboutable

Summary

Podcast Summary: No One Is Coming to Save Us – Listen Now: Talkaboutable (Lemonada Media)

Episode Air Date: September 9, 2025
Host: Dr. Susan Swick (previewing her show, "Talk About Able")
Main Content Starts: [00:06]

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Episode Overview

This episode offers a special preview of Lemonada Media's new advice show, "Talk About Able," hosted by child and adolescent psychiatrist Dr. Susan Swick. The focus is on helping parents navigate difficult conversations and family transitions, emphasizing curiosity, empathy, and open dialogue. The preview features a poignant therapy session where a mother explores her anxieties about introducing her new partner into her family and managing her sons' emotional responses to upcoming changes.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Introducing a New Partner to the Family

• The mother (Mom) shares her experience dating "Brian the dentist" and navigating her children's reactions ([01:02]).
  • Mom: "It's a little awkward and maybe it's just awkward for your mom to date and like hold hands with somebody else in the house." ([01:02])
  • She recounts specific instances of her sons, Ethan and Chase, interacting with Brian after periods apart. Notably, both boys greet Brian respectfully despite lingering awkwardness.

2. Family Bonding Moments

• The family engages in shared activities to foster connection:
  • Mom: "We, the three of us, had this incredible conversation about the Enneagram. And then we went into dinner and he wanted to play rummy 500. So then we played cards for two hours." ([02:00])
• These moments suggest progress and gradual comfort, though the mother is mindful that connection is still forming.

3. Fear and Anxiety About Change

• The mother is considering moving in with her partner — an idea she hasn't yet told her sons ([03:09]).
  • Therapist: "It sounds like you guys really talk about so much, and you have great clarity about this being a person you want to... move in with." ([03:15])
• She expresses concern about minimizing harm to both her sons and Brian.

4. Anticipation of Emotional Reactions

• Mom worries about her sons’ potential reactions: withdrawal, moodiness, or emotional outbursts ([04:10]).
  • Therapist: "So let's pause there. What happens if they act out the feelings? Like, play me that movie." ([04:10])
  • Mom: "Chase retreats to his room, spends less time out... less communicative, less talkative, and he can be snarky... Ethan gets really moody also, isolates, is not nice. And then comes back with, like, apologies and hugs." ([04:18])

5. The Complexity of Home and Grief

• The family must move due to their rented home being sold. This raises emotional challenges connected to grief — it was their last home with the children's late father.
  • Mom: "Brian died in this house. It's the last place we lived as a family. And if I let it go, I might be creating space for Brian the new—the dentist—that I didn't know I was withholding." ([05:50])
• The mother discusses the tension of honoring her sons’ feelings while also needing to make big decisions as a parent.

6. The Pressure of Change and Nonverbal Communication

• The timing of introducing new changes (the move and living together) is faster than she would prefer, but forced by external circumstances.
  • Therapist: "It sounds like... the pressure to move a little quicker than you might have moved otherwise, because you're losing this house... That might lead to them struggling and maybe even punishing you, but you can handle it... But you're worried about Brian being punished by them." ([07:22])

7. Transparency and Anticipating Children’s Awareness

• Although the formal conversation hasn't happened, the therapist points out the children likely suspect what’s happening.
  • Therapist: "I would suggest they may suspect that if he's looking with you at homes and they know that you can't keep this home..." ([08:01])
  • Mom: "They might already know, or they're wondering." ([08:28])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Mom: "I want to do as little harm as possible in the process. Not just for the boys, but for the dentist, too." ([03:40])
• Therapist: "Let's pause there. What happens if they act out the feelings? Like, play me that movie." ([04:10])
• Mom: "I'm scared that they will leave and never come back to me." ([05:14])
• Mom: "If I let it go, I might be creating space for Brian the new—the dentist—that I didn't know I was withholding." ([05:50])
• Therapist: "You're worried about Brian being punished by them. And in not knowing how to inoculate against that, you're kind of waiting to say it out loud." ([07:22])

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Important Timestamps

• [00:06] – Dr. Susan Swick introduces "Talk About Able"
• [01:02] – The mom describes the awkwardness of dating as a parent
• [02:00] – Family bonding moments, discussion of the Enneagram and card games
• [03:09] – Mom reveals she hasn't told her sons about moving in with her partner
• [04:10] – Therapist asks mom to envision her sons' potential reactions
• [05:50] – Discussion of the home’s connection to grief and moving forward
• [07:22] – Therapist highlights the challenges of accelerated change
• [08:28] – Acknowledgement that the children likely sense what's coming

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Tone & Format

The conversation is empathetic, thoughtful, and filled with humor and honesty. Dr. Swick models curiosity and openness as she guides parents through uncertainty, emphasizing that parenting isn’t about perfect answers, but about making every topic discussable—“talk aboutable.”

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Takeaway

The episode provides a relatable, emotionally nuanced look at the complexities of family transitions after loss, cohabitation, and maintaining open communication with children through uncertain and challenging times. It underscores the importance of honoring both parental authority and children's feelings, and gently reminds listeners that the hard conversations are often the most important.

Transcript

[Mom]

Lemonada.

[Dr. Susan Swick]

Hi listeners. I'm excited to share a new call in advice show from Lemonada Media called Talk about Able, Hosted by me, Dr. Susan Swick. I'm a child and adolescent psychiatrist and I'm here to help parents tackle challenges with humor, curiosity and empathy through candid questions and answers and real conversations. I'll remind you that it's not about having the perfect answer. It's about staying curious, trusting your instincts and making any topic, well, talk aboutable. Talk About Able is a podcast for parents who want to show up even when they're unsure what to say. After this preview of our first episode, just search Talk About Able wherever you get your podcasts or click the link in the show notes. I hope you'll join us.

[Therapist]

So it sounds like. So I'm delighted to hear that Brian thinks your kids are amazing. How did they get along with him? How's that gone?

[Mom]

I mean, it's a little awkward and maybe it's just awkward for your mom to date and like hold hands with somebody else in the house. Like, it's probably just awkward.

[Therapist]

Can they say that? I mean, will they tell you? Will they be like, mom, that's just weird or gross? Like, will they say that kind of stuff?

[Mom]

Yeah, I, but I mean, what Ethan says is like, I don't want to know the details, but I'm so happy you're happy. And at least do you have somebody now who like, is like, this is good for you. And then Chase is like, well, it's awkward. And like, you know, he's nice, he's smart. So like last night, you know, both the boys have been gone for, for a while, for like over a month. And so, you know, when Ethan got home, when, when Brian the dentist came over and I was like at the pool or whatever and Ethan had just, they'd seen each other for the first time in two months. Like he, you know, was like really touched, moved that like Ethan approached him, hugged him, you know, shook his hand and was like, how are you? What's been going on? They like had this whole exchange. So. And that had been after not seeing each other for a while. Chase just got home the other night and last night when he came home from practice, Brian was there and he got right out of the car and was like, hey, it's been a minute. And like, you know, started chatting with him, asking questions. Then we went out to the community barbecue and we're making dinner and Chase came to spend time with us. And Chase is also really to the Enneagram. And so we, the three of us had this incredible conversation about the Enneagram. And then we went into dinner and he wanted to play rummy 500. So then we played cards for two hours. So, like, there are these moments where I, like, I. Whether they're trying or it's just the slow burn of getting comfortable with another man that seems to be happening, but, like, it's not like, I want to go. I want him to teach me how to drive or like, it's, like it's still. For me. I think it's still forming, but I want to move in with him. And I, like.

[Therapist]

Do they know? Do they know that that's.

[Mom]

No, I have. That's the thing I haven't said out loud yet, so. And I.

[Therapist]

So that's so unusual for you. It sounds like you guys really talk about so much, and you have great clarity about this being a person you want to. You want to move in with. And then how. How to. How to. How to manage that in a way that makes it work well with your family.

[Mom]

And I. I also, like. I want to do as little harm as possible in the process. Not just for the boys, but for the dentists, too. Like I care.

[Therapist]

What are you worried about? What are you worried about?

[Mom]

I. I'm worried about the middle part. Like, I have a vision for the end. It's like the transition to the change. I'm worried. I'm worried about they're going to act out the feelings that they might have about it or I'm worried.

[Therapist]

So let's. But let's pause there. What happens if they act out the feelings? Like, play me that movie.

[Mom]

Yeah. I mean, Chase retreats his room, spends less time out. He. In my experience, he gets less communicative, less talkative, and he can be snarky.

[Therapist]

Okay.

[Mom]

Yeah. Okay. And then Ethan, he. He's moot. Gets really moody also. Isolates, is not nice. And then comes back with, like, apologies and hugs and. I'm so sorry. I didn't. I don't like that I was like that. I love you. I am sorry. Like, a lot of like. And. And sometimes it's like. It's a. You know, I. I love that in the reciprocity of our love and relationship. And. And I think he has a lot of thoughts and opinions that he doesn't always verbalize out loud. And when he does, it's not, like, productive in the moment. It's productive later. And so I guess the harm a little bit is the dentist feel like getting the brunt of that in some way. And then Ethan retreating. I guess I'm scared that they will leave and never come back to me. And one of the things about moving in together that I was really emotional about, and the boys and I did talk. Talk about this part, because I'm. I'm renting the home we're in for eight years now, and my owner decided to sell, and I, like, literally decompensated for a week in May. I was crying. I was like, I can't leave this place. She wants to sell it to me, literally. Brian and I go out to dinner, and he talks about moving in together. And it's like, if you really want that place, we can buy it together. And. And. But he doesn't love it, right? But he's like, but I would rather buy something different than a townhouse, whatever. And I. In that moment, like, I. I. Then I go back to my. My outdoor deck where I spent a lot of the year of my deepest, deepest grief, and think and get real quiet, right? And then I start to listen to my knowing. And in that listening, I was like, oh, I'm holding on to something emotionally here. Brian died in this house. It's the last place we lived as a family. And if I let it go, I might be creating something space for Brian, the new the dentist that I didn't know I was withholding. And I. And I. So I talked to the boys about, we have to move. We have to find a new place.

[Therapist]

They know that.

[Mom]

They see me going and looking at places with Brian. Right. But I don't like to be that kind of person either. I don't want to, like, just, like, swoop in and be like, we're moving, and you have to figure it out, like, deal with it. And I want to honor whatever feelings they might have about it. And I'm going to still decide. I'm the mom. So I, like, that's where I'm kind of getting a little, like, caught up in the. The narrative or the loop that I'm in about. About talking about it.

[Therapist]

Yeah, no, I understand. It sounds like it feels like, in a way, the pressure to move a little quicker than you might have moved otherwise, because you're losing this house and it's, you know, you want to live with the dentist, that it's. That it's pushing. It's pushing the boys in a way that rather than the pull that you got to experience, it's pushing them in a way that. That might lead to them struggling and maybe even punishing you, but you can handle it. Sounds like. But you're worried about Brian being punished by them. And in not knowing how to inoculate against that, you're kind of waiting to say it out loud. Although I would. I would suggest they may suspect that if he's looking with you at homes and they know that you can't keep this home, that.

[Mom]

They might already know, or they're wondering.

[Therapist]

They're wondering.