Noble Blood: Dunstan and Eadwig's Notorious Twosome

Podcast Information:

• Title: Noble Blood
• Host/Author: Dana Schwartz, produced by iHeartPodcasts and Grim & Mild
• Episode: Dunstan and Eadwig's Notorious Twosome
• Release Date: November 26, 2024
• Description: Author Dana Schwartz explores the stories of some of history’s most fascinating royals: the tyrants and the tragic, the murderers and the murdered, and everyone in between. Because when you’re wearing a crown, mistakes often mean blood.

Introduction

Dana Schwartz opens the episode by setting the stage in the tumultuous year of 955, introducing the young King Eadwig of Wessex and his notorious counterpart, Abbot Dunstan. Schwartz promises an exploration of scandal, political intrigue, and the manipulation of reputations in medieval England.

"Salacious gossip about the sex lives of people in power is not a modern invention." [03:45]

The Rise of King Eadwig

At just 14 years old, Eadwig ascends to the throne of Wessex following the death of his uncle, King Edred. His coronation is marked by celebration among the nobility, but the festivities take a dramatic turn with Eadwig's sudden disappearance during a feast.

The Scandalous Threesome

During the coronation feast, Eadwig is conspicuously absent, prompting Archbishop to send Abbot Dunstan and Bishop Kinesier to find him. Upon their arrival, they discover Eadwig engaged in a scandalous act:

"He was disporting himself between two women as though they were wallowing in some revolting pigsty." [07:20]

The women include his fiancée, Alphavu, and her mother, leading to allegations of incest and abandonment of royal duties. Dunstan forcibly removes Eadwig from the scene, an act that becomes a pivotal moment in their fraught relationship.

Slander and Historical Accounts

Schwartz delves into the credibility of the threesome incident, highlighting that the story primarily appears in pro-Dunstan biographies, which are known to exaggerate his virtues and vilify his enemies.

"These biographies have a notably pro Dunstan slant and a tendency to exaggerate." [15:10]

Many historians argue that the tale may have been fabricated to tarnish Eadwig's reputation amidst the intense rivalry between him and Dunstan.

Origins of the Rivalry

The enmity between Dunstan and Eadwig dates back before Eadwig's reign. Dunstan, born in 909, rose through religious ranks to become a trusted advisor to multiple kings. His political acumen made him a target in the volatile court environment where kings often faced threats of assassination or replacement.

1. Conflict with Aethelstan: Dunstan's favoritism under King Aethelstan led to rumors of heathenism, resulting in his first exile.
2. Conflict with Edmund: Under King Edmund, Dunstan was accused again, this time surviving an assassination attempt, which earned Edmund's begrudging respect.

Despite temporary reconciliations, the rivalry intensified with Eadwig's accession, culminating in Dunstan's exile and the alleged scandal.

"Edwin was convinced that Dunstan was screwing him over." [25:30]

Political Maneuvering and Power Struggles

Eadwig's reign was marked by aggressive political actions aimed at consolidating power and undermining Dunstan:

• Exile of Dunstan (956): To prevent Dunstan from challenging his authority, Eadwig exiles him, redistributing his lands to loyal allies. Historian Nicholas Brooks describes this act as a "coup."

  "Dunstan's exile was a coup." [32:15]

• Marriage to Alphavu (956): Eadwig's union with Alphavu, a noblewoman from a powerful family, was both a political alliance and a potential threat to Dunstan's plans to install Edgar, Eadwig's brother, on the throne.

  "Teaming up with Alphavu's powerful family shored up Edwig's rule against his mother, the Archbishop, and Dunstan." [40:00]

• Annulment of Marriage (958): Under Dunstan's influence, the marriage was annulled on grounds of consanguinity, severing a key political alliance.

  "The Archbishop's separation of the married couple now also had a political motive." [50:05]

The Division of the Kingdom and Eadwig's Decline

By autumn 957, Eadwig's authority began to wane, leading to the division of Wessex between him in the south and Edgar in the north along the River Thames. Pro-Dunstan sources attribute this to Eadwig's incompetence and neglect of his northern territories.

"King Eadwig totally abandoned by the people north. They despised him for his imprudent discharge of the power entrusted to him." [55:45]

This division significantly reduced Eadwig's power and facilitated Dunstan's efforts to elevate Edgar to sole rulership.

Eadwig's Death and Aftermath

Eadwig's reign was short-lived; he died on October 1, 959, at the age of 19. His death led to Edgar consolidating power and restoring stability to England. Dunstan's political ascent continued as he became a key figure in Edgar's court, eventually being canonized as a saint.

The Fabricated Threesome: A Medieval PR Triumph

The story of Eadwig's alleged threesome, introduced posthumously by a chronicler named Bee during Dunstan's exile, serves as a potent tool for slandering Eadwig. Schwartz highlights how this narrative was strategically propagated to:

1. Discredit Eadwig: By portraying him as morally corrupt and unfit to rule.
2. Elevate Dunstan: By casting him as the virtuous hero who restores proper conduct.
3. Serve Political and Moral Agendas: As historian Catherine Weickert points out, the tale reinforced moral and political norms, discouraging similar alliances and consolidating the current regime.

"Marriages like Edwig's had to be undermined on every possible level... to use sexual humiliation." [1:05:20]

Additional Legends and Their Implications

Following the threesome story, other legends emerged embellishing Dunstan's confrontations with the devil, further enhancing his saintly image while keeping Eadwig's reputation tarnished.

"These stories, true or not, became popular legends spreading throughout the medieval world." [1:27:10]

Conclusion

Dana Schwartz's exploration in "Dunstan and Eadwig's Notorious Twosome" uncovers the intricate blend of political rivalry, rumor-mongering, and moral judgment that shaped the legacies of these two historical figures. While the truth of the scandalous accusations remains uncertain, their story exemplifies how power struggles in history are often fueled by both fact and fiction.

Notable Quotes

• Dana Schwartz: "Salacious gossip about the sex lives of people in power is not a modern invention." [03:45]

• Historian Nicholas Brooks: "Dunstan's exile was a coup." [32:15]

• Pro-Dunstan Source: "King Eadwig totally abandoned by the people north. They despised him for his imprudent discharge of the power entrusted to him." [55:45]

• Catherine Weickert: "Marriages like Edwig's had to be undermined on every possible level... to use sexual humiliation." [1:05:20]

Final Thoughts

This episode of Noble Blood offers a compelling narrative of how historical reputations are crafted and manipulated. Through the lens of Dunstan and Eadwig's tumultuous relationship, listeners gain insight into the complexities of power, influence, and legacy in medieval England.

For more episodes of Noble Blood, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or your preferred podcast platform.