Noble Blood: A Deep Dive into the Ridiculous History of England's Kings and Queens

Episode Release Date: November 19, 2024
Hosts: Dana Schwartz, iHeartPodcasts, and Grim & Mild
Guest: David Mitchell, Comedian, Author, and Historian

Introduction

In this captivating episode of Noble Blood, host Dana Schwartz engages in an enlightening conversation with the multifaceted David Mitchell. Known for his prowess as a comedian, actor, and writer, Mitchell delves into his latest literary endeavor, "The Ridiculous History of England's Kings and Queens." This book offers a humorous yet insightful analysis of England's monarchs, exploring their impacts on British and human culture.

Inspiration Behind the Book

Dana Schwartz opens the discussion by highlighting the breadth of Mitchell's work and the significance of his new book.

[00:37] Dana Schwartz:
"David, thank you so much for joining me."

David Mitchell attributes his inspiration to the global pandemic, which provided him with the time and impetus to explore historical narratives. He likens the sudden arrival of COVID-19 to the unexpected incursion of the Vikings into Anglo-Saxon England, a metaphor that underscores the theme of unforeseen disruptions in history.

[01:37] David Mitchell:
"Well, it was definitely partly the global pandemic in that I was sitting around doing nothing... It was just something that came out of the blue and was a real pain for everyone."

Mitchell reflects on the universal feeling of powerlessness during the pandemic, drawing parallels to the Middle Ages' pervasive uncertainty.

Research Process

Mitchell describes his approach to historical research as a blend of personal knowledge and extensive reading. He emphasizes his primary goal: to make history amusing and accessible without sacrificing factual integrity.

[04:29] David Mitchell:
"I started writing about what I knew about already and to try and find a funny way through it."

He acknowledges his limitations, admitting that he did not consult primary sources but instead relied on existing literature to reconstruct historical events with a comedic flair.

[05:29] David Mitchell:
"I see myself as a comedian, not a historian. And I thought the first thing the book needs to be, if at all possible, is amusing..."

King Arthur's Myth and Its Modern Perception

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around King Arthur, a central yet mythical figure in British history.

[07:11] David Mitchell:
"King Arthur is a lovely idea, but he didn't exist. But very, very important if you're writing a book about kings, because that's the template."

Mitchell critiques the romanticization of King Arthur, pointing out the absence of historical evidence for his existence. He argues that Arthur serves as an idealized symbol, a "template" for kingship that later monarchs aspired to, despite his likely mythical origins.

[09:28] David Mitchell:
"You choose to start earlier than William I... I loved your analysis of King Arthur."

He connects this to modern nationalism, drawing parallels to slogans like "Make America Great Again," which similarly evoke an idealized, possibly fictional past.

Underrated and Overrated Monarchs

Mitchell offers his perspectives on various English kings, highlighting those he finds underrated or overrated.

Underrated: King Henry I

[14:19] David Mitchell:
"I've got a soft spot for Henry I... he really worked at it."

Mitchell praises Henry I for his competent and professional governance, emphasizing his efforts to maintain order and ensure a stable succession. He suggests that Henry I's reign was relatively successful compared to the tumultuous standards of the Middle Ages.

Overrated: King Henry V

[23:35] David Mitchell:
"He had that one buzzy battle, though, amazing battle. Agincourt definitely won against the odds."

While acknowledging Henry V's military success, particularly at the Battle of Agincourt, Mitchell criticizes the prolonged and ultimately futile English attempts to claim the French throne. He views these campaigns as wasteful and counterproductive.

Principles of Kingship: Stability vs. Competence

A recurring theme is the balance between maintaining stability through clear succession laws (primogeniture) and the competence of individual rulers.

[15:34] David Mitchell:
"Predictability feels like a sort of undersung factor in what makes a good king."

Mitchell argues that the predictability of succession is paramount to preventing civil wars and ensuring governmental continuity. He contrasts the meritocratic yet chaotic Anglo-Saxon elective kingship with the primogeniture system, advocating for the latter's stability despite its occasional shortcomings.

[16:04] David Mitchell:
"The entire principle of kingship is saying, never mind how good the ruler is, let's just know who it is."

The Controversial Reign of Richard III

Mitchell addresses the enduring debate surrounding Richard III, particularly his alleged role in the deaths of his nephews, the Princes in the Tower.

[26:23] David Mitchell:
"He definitely took the throne, you know, usurped the throne from his nephew... I think he probably did that."

While acknowledging Tudor propaganda's role in vilifying Richard III, Mitchell leans towards the conventional historical consensus that Richard was responsible for the princes' demise. He finds the emotional investment in reimagining Richard as a misunderstood hero both fascinating and emblematic of history's complexities.

[28:48] David Mitchell:
"History is the story that we tell ourselves... It’s an incredibly messy series of complicated people and complicated events that will be forever unknowable."

British Identity and the Monarchy

Mitchell explores how British and English identities are intertwined with the monarchy, noting the lack of a unified English identity compared to other nations within the UK.

[30:09] David Mitchell:
"Within the United Kingdom and the British Isles, the nations that aren't England, Scotland, Wales, and Ireland have very, very strong senses of cultural identity. And England doesn't?"

He argues that the English identity often lacks a cohesive sense of self, relying instead on the monarchy as a unifying symbol. This dependence on monarchical symbolism contributes to England's obsession with its heritage and an idealized, often rural, past.

[31:32] David Mitchell:
"The monarchy then becomes a sort of symbol of a unifying one, even for those that are against the monarchy, if you see what I mean."

The Future of the Monarchy

Addressing the contemporary relevance of the monarchy, Mitchell contemplates whether nostalgia and national identity are sufficient to sustain it.

[34:19] David Mitchell:
"I don't know. But certainly I have no problem with the constitutional monarchy at all."

He appreciates the constitutional monarchy's role as a non-political figurehead, providing national dignity without wielding actual power. Mitchell expresses uncertainty about the monarchy's longevity but highlights its current utility in the UK's political framework.

[35:37] David Mitchell:
"It would leave you so vulnerable to the Vikings."

Mitchell humorously suggests that abandoning the monarchy could lead to political instability, drawing back to his earlier metaphor of external invasions.

Conclusion

David Mitchell's "The Ridiculous History of England's Kings and Queens" offers a blend of humor and historical analysis, shedding light on the often absurd aspects of monarchical rule. Through his engaging discussion on Noble Blood, Mitchell provides listeners with a nuanced understanding of England's royal past and its enduring impact on British identity.

[35:45] Dana Schwartz:
"Unruly the Ridiculous History of England's Kings and Queens is out in paperback in the UK and across the pond. You should absolutely pick it up."

Mitchell's insights not only entertain but also provoke thoughtful consideration of how history shapes contemporary societal structures and identities.

Notable Quotes:

• David Mitchell [04:29]:
  "I see myself as a comedian, not a historian. And I thought the first thing the book needs to be, if at all possible, is amusing..."

• David Mitchell [15:34]:
  "Predictability feels like a sort of undersung factor in what makes a good king."

• David Mitchell [28:48]:
  "History is the story that we tell ourselves... It’s an incredibly messy series of complicated people and complicated events that will be forever unknowable."

• David Mitchell [31:32]:
  "The monarchy then becomes a sort of symbol of a unifying one, even for those that are against the monarchy, if you see what I mean."

This episode of Noble Blood serves as a testament to the intricate dance between history, humor, and national identity, all through the lens of England's most colorful monarchs.