Hoax! | E2 | Balloon Boy

Summary

Noble Blood: Hoax! | E2 | Balloon Boy

Air Date: August 18, 2025
Host: Dana Schwartz
Co-Host: Lizzie Logan

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Episode Overview

In this lively and incisive episode of "Hoax," author Dana Schwartz and co-host Lizzie Logan unravel the infamous 2009 “Balloon Boy” incident. They revisit the live, televised spectacle that captivated (and confused) the nation: a Colorado family claimed their 6-year-old son had floated away in a homemade helium “UFO.” Through a comedic yet critical lens, the hosts break down the event, the role of the Heene family’s media ambitions, public reaction, the investigation, and how the tale sits at the intersection of viral media, bad parenting, and American spectacle culture.

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Key Discussion Points & Structure

I. The Balloon Boy Incident in Context

• Setting the Scene
  • Lizzie introduces the event as “somewhere in between the White Bronco chase and Baby Jessica in the well” (04:20).
  • October 2009: Fort Collins, Colorado.
  • The "protagonist" is not Balloon Boy (Falcon Heene) himself, but his father, Richard Heene—a self-styled inventor and aspiring reality TV star (06:37).

II. What Happened?

• The Sequence of Events
  • The Heene family, led by showman Richard, is launching an experimental, saucer-shaped, helium-filled balloon in the backyard for supposed “science” (08:10).
  • During the launch, someone claims 6-year-old Falcon has climbed inside and floated away.
  • Panic ensues: FAA, 911, and local news are all contacted (09:28–10:55).
  • The balloon drifts 70 miles, up to 8,000 feet, live on cable news—air traffic rerouted, rescue plans concocted (11:49–13:05).
  • The balloon lands gently in a wheat field, but Falcon is nowhere to be found (19:39).

III. The Twist—Where’s Falcon?

• Searchers swarm the Heene home. Falcon is discovered alive, hiding in the attic—supposedly scared after being yelled at for playing near the balloon (20:16–24:36).
• Media elation swaps to suspicion: Was this a hoax?

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Notable Quotes & Moments

On the Absurdity:

“The best way I can describe [the balloon] is like when you make popcorn on the stovetop at the beginning of Scream.” – Lizzie (07:52)
“You had said that we did this for a show, man.” – Falcon, literal quote that triggers the hoax suspicion, on Larry King Live (26:48)

On Parenting Anxiety:

“Every parent’s nightmare, right? You’re a great parent 23 out of 24 hours in the day. The two minutes you look away, something happens.” – Lizzie (17:22)

On Media Ethics:

“If Falcon is up there and dead, they are broadcasting a child’s coffin… Is that okay to do?” – Lizzie (16:24–16:39)

On Viral Culture:

“He’s trending on Twitter. People are making Balloon Boy merch on Redbubble. Balloon Boy is having a meme moment.” – Lizzie (16:00)

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IV. The Heene Family: Fame Seekers

• Pre-Balloon Media History
  • Richard and Mayumi Heene were serial applicants for reality TV: met in an LA acting class, starred in Wife Swap (twice), YouTube “science” shows, odd inventions, and bizarre screenplays (29:43–35:03).
  • The Wife Swap portrayal: unorthodox, storm-chasing, chaotic parenting, and on-screen misogyny (34:10–36:00).
  • The family’s digital footprint is quickly mined as evidence when suspicions arise (18:36–19:21).

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V. The Aftermath & Hoax Allegations

• Media Pressure & Falcon’s Comments

  • On Larry King Live, Falcon utters: “You said we did this for a show, man,” amplifying public suspicion (26:48).
  • The family’s repeated media appearances, including live interviews where Falcon vomits from stress, fuel perceptions of attention-seeking (28:05).

• Investigation, Motives, and Circumstance

  • Authorities investigate: accusations center on the possibility the hoax was a ploy to land a reality TV series (28:43–29:43).
  • Evidence: previous reality TV pitches, Wife Swap appearances, casting website profiles, YouTube “science” exploits, and a Gawker exposé by a former collaborator (Robert Thomas) (40:00–42:34).
  • Ultimately, circumstantial evidence mounts: a family obsessed with fame, repeated unorthodox media plays, and a chaotic household.

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VI. Legal Fallout

• Charges & Plea Deals
  • Richard: 90 days for “attempting to influence a public servant” (a felony).
  • Mayumi: 21 days for filing a false report (a misdemeanor).
  • Both plead guilty to avoid harsher outcomes (deportation for Mayumi, child removal), though they maintain innocence (44:03–46:43).
  • Court bars profiting from the incident (46:43–47:00).

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VII. Reputation, Redemption, and Life After Balloon Boy

• Post-Scandal Life

  • The family moves to Florida, shifts to homeschooling, and continues inventing and self-promotion, e.g., a band (Heene Boyz), patented inventions (the infamous condiment “shakedown” device), “Balloon Boy No Hoax” music video, and American Chili: The Opera (51:05–53:14).
  • Online investigations and a 2017 YouTube doc dissect the “hoax” theory—verdict: still ambiguous (56:41–58:31).

• The “Hybrid Hoax” Theory

  • A journalist uncovers Mayumi’s notes: they intended a minor hoax (pretend Falcon was missing for a short time), but the plan spun out of control when Falcon hid in the wrong place and fell asleep, forcing the family to play along as events snowballed (62:11–63:46).

• Official Pardon & Coda

  • 2020: The Colorado governor pardons the Heene parents, but public skepticism never fully fades (64:02–64:27).
  • The family reportedly no longer seeks publicity; the “Balloonacy is over” (64:17).

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VIII. Reflections & Cultural Impact

• Hoax, Media, and Moral Judgments:

  • The hosts debate the ethics, media complicity, and the difference between “good” and “bad” hoaxes—a line crossed when children become pawns.
  • Lizzie: “What really doomed them is the perception that they’re not very good parents... I don’t think they were apologetic, humble, and embarrassed enough” (67:03).
  • Dana: “They used their children as props for their fantasies of reality television. They were negligent parents” (68:01).

• On the Modern Hoax:

  • The story prefigured the “craven social media self-promotion” era—if it happened today, their notoriety might have been more lucrative, not less (53:24–53:33).

• A Postscript – Netflix Doc:

  • After recording, a Netflix documentary revisited Balloon Boy, largely from the family's perspective; the hosts say it adds little new, ultimately maintaining, "The ongoing saga...did not end" (72:51).

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IX. Closing Quotes & Takeaways

“Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”—Lizzie, on the fate of the Heenes (74:13)
“Don’t use your kids. Don’t lie about kids... Say that your wife is in the balloon. Say that your dog is in the balloon. Don’t lie about kids.” – Lizzie (68:31; 70:09)

On the enduring riddle:

“Only the balloon knows.” (71:47)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 04:20 — Comparing the event to “Baby Jessica” and the OJ Bronco chase
• 07:52 — Description of the balloon
• 09:28 — The balloon floats away and chaos ensues
• 11:49 — Media and rescue mobilization
• 19:39 — Balloon lands, boy still missing
• 24:36 — Falcon found in attic; “best case scenario”
• 26:48 — Falcon’s infamous “for a show” comment on Larry King Live
• 29:43 — Deep dive into the Heene family’s reality TV and “science” pursuits
• 34:10–36:00 — Wife Swap escapades and family chaos
• 40:00–42:34 — Gawker exposé and hoax suspicions
• 44:03–46:43 — Legal results and plea deals
• 51:05–53:14 — Florida move, inventions, and “Balloon Boy No Hoax” song
• 62:11–63:46 — The “mini-hoax gone wrong” revelation
• 64:17 — 2020 pardon: “The balloonacy is over.”
• 72:51 — Netflix documentary postscript

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Tone & Language

The episode blends snark, empathy, and sharp critique. The hosts balance humor (“We did this for a show, man”) with social commentary and candid moral reflection—never losing sight of the strangeness and seriousness embedded in viral American hoaxes.

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Final Thought

This episode not only relives the implausible story of Balloon Boy—it investigates why we’re so eager to believe, meme, and judge, and how “truth” vs. “hoax” sometimes matters less than spectacle and perception.

Transcript

[Lizzie Logan]

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[Dana Schwartz]

You're listening to Hoax, a production of iHeart podcasts, folks. It's a hoax.

[Lizzie Logan]

How come no one ever seems to.

[Dana Schwartz]

Believe me when I swear I never was receiving the blast Watcher in. Welcome to Hoax, a new podcast.

[Lizzie Logan]

Or is it?

[Dana Schwartz]

It is.

[Lizzie Logan]

Every episode, we sort through the lies we wish were true and truths that sound like lies.

[Dana Schwartz]

This is not just another scam and scandal podcast. Oh, no.

[Lizzie Logan]

These are stories of pranks and grifts throughout history so big and bold they make us question why we believe.

[Dana Schwartz]

I'm the ghost of Dana Schwartz.

[Lizzie Logan]

And I'm the evil twin of Lizzie Logan.

[Dana Schwartz]

Welcome to the show.

[Lizzie Logan]

So, Dana.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yes.

[Lizzie Logan]

This is my first episode that I'm in charge of, and I'm so excited. And it is a topic that I have been just chattering about to everyone I run into.

[Dana Schwartz]

When we talked about doing this podcast, this was, like, the first idea you had.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yes. I really lit up on it. I'm, like, picturing a text with a lot of exclamation points and me being like, can I do this topic? Dana, what comes to mind when I say the words Balloon Boy?

[Dana Schwartz]

I vaguely remember a news story I could not even tell you, like, when, like, maybe I was in high school. So let's say, like, you know, Facebook era. Let's say, like, I'm gonna say 2010. And what I remember is there was a story that a boy from a family was missing, and then they said that he floated away in a balloon. And then it turns out that he wasn't missing. He was just hiding. Is that. Am I entirely correct? Is the episode over?

[Lizzie Logan]

Episode over? Good job.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

So basically, Balloon Boy was very much a live television event. I would slot it somewhere in between the White Bronco low speed chase and, like, Baby Jessica being trapped in a well where, as it was happening, it was very dramatic because, like, someone could die afterward. It was like, oh, either you watched it live or, like, you didn't.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah. Yeah. Was Baby Jessica live? Did they know that she was down in the well? Was that the whole thing?

[Lizzie Logan]

I will talk about Baby Jessica because I think that it provides an interesting framework for what happened with Balloon Boy, because Baby Jessica, basically, there was, like, a little opening in her front yard that she barely fit in, which was the problem, because once she fell into this opening, she got stuck because it wasn't really big enough.

[Dana Schwartz]

And it was a well.

[Lizzie Logan]

They call it a well. I think it was more of, like, a hole in the ground through which you could access the water. Table, maybe. But she was actually totally fine. She was, like, not even freaking out down there. She was too young to know what was going on. And they got her out.

[Dana Schwartz]

Oh. But the news, like, covered the attempts to get her out.

[Lizzie Logan]

The news was, like, parked on her front lawn being like, there's a baby in the ground. What are we gonna do?

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

So what happened with balloon Boy is very similar. It was October 2009.

[Dana Schwartz]

Okay.

[Lizzie Logan]

A six year old boy was reported to be in this balloon that I will show you pictures of later. Some stories say that it was a weather balloon. It was not a weather balloon. But that is sort of the framework people use because, like, they're like. What do you mean, balloon? Yeah, like a hot air balloon. It's not a hot air balloon.

[Dana Schwartz]

And it's not like a birth. A giant birthday party balloon.

[Lizzie Logan]

It is not a giant birthday party balloon. It is a sort of experimental aircraft. We'll get to that in a sec. I will also say, just going into this, the kid is fine.

[Dana Schwartz]

Okay, great.

[Lizzie Logan]

So if we are flippant and making jokes, it is because the kid is fine. Spoiler alert. I would not talk this way about a story in which a child dies.

[Dana Schwartz]

And also, baby Jessica's fine.

[Lizzie Logan]

Baby Jessica's also fine. I'm so happy for everyone. I'm so happy.

[Dana Schwartz]

Where are we? Are we in Utah?

[Lizzie Logan]

We are in Colorado.

[Dana Schwartz]

Okay.

[Lizzie Logan]

So basically. Yes.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

So before we get into the story, what you will come to see is that the protagonist of the balloon boy saga is not balloon boy. It is very much balloon boy's dad. Richard. His name is Richard Heaney.

[Dana Schwartz]

It's balloon dad.

[Lizzie Logan]

It is Balloon Dad. So let's go through a mostly factual account of the events of October 15th through 18th, 2009. Okay, so the wife's name is Mayumi.

[Dana Schwartz]

Mayumi.

[Lizzie Logan]

Mayumi and Richard Heaney live in Fort Collins, Colorado. He's a general contractor and inventor. They have three boys, all pretty young. They're each like a year and a half apart. There's Rio Bradford and the youngest, Falcon, who is 6. This is balloon boy.

[Dana Schwartz]

Balloon boy. His name is Falcon.

[Lizzie Logan]

His name is Falcon.

[Dana Schwartz]

He flies away and his name is Falcon.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yup. Okay, great, great, great. This is the energy we're going to be on the whole time.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

It's 11am On a Thursday. The kids are not at school because it is a, like, parent teacher conference day.

[Dana Schwartz]

Love those days.

[Lizzie Logan]

And they have a balloon in the backyard. I'm gonna show you a picture of the balloon.

[Dana Schwartz]

Okay. It's like, kind of it's like a mylar silver, shiny. It like looks like it's designed to be like a UFO in a home movie.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yes. It looks very 50s. The family sometimes refers to it as a flying saucer because it is saucer shaped. And it does look like. The best way I can describe what it looks like is like when you make popcorn on the stovetop at the beginning of screen. Yes.

[Dana Schwartz]

Why do they have this in their backyard?

[Lizzie Logan]

That's such a great question. They are a family of scientists and they are gonna do experiments. Sure.

[Dana Schwartz]

Is it like a. It like floats. Is it a helium balloon?

[Lizzie Logan]

So it is filled with helium. It's 20ft wide and 5ft tall. And it has a little compartment at the bottom with some. Some electronic equipment in it. And the idea is they have this like purpose built structure in their backyard. The idea is they want to test this theory that they'll be able to control it with electricity. Like if you electrified the top of it negatively and the bottom of it positively, can you get it to move left and right? As it turns out, none of this would have worked. But that's like their. Their home hobbyists. Richard only has a high school education, but he very much fancies himself an engineer.

[Dana Schwartz]

Sure.

[Lizzie Logan]

So they are. They're basically gonna launch it and see what happens. So they have this purpose built structure. And the idea is that this is launch day. But there's a tether. So it's supposed to go up in the air, but it's only supposed to go 20ft up in the air.

[Dana Schwartz]

Okay. They've never sent it up in the air before.

[Lizzie Logan]

It's not supposed to go up in the air. Yeah, yeah. It's just not supposed to. Falcon, the whole family is out in the backyard. Falcon is playing near the balloon. Richard yells at him and says, hey, stop messing with the balloon. All of this is on video because they were recording it, like for science.

[Dana Schwartz]

For science.

[Lizzie Logan]

He and Mayumi are recording. They do a countdown and they go, okay, then launch. It's only supposed to go up 20ft and the balloon just starts flying away. Richard's freaking out because she's like, mayumi, Mayumi, you didn't tether it. Then Bradford screams that falcon was inside the balloon. Question number one that people have. Could a balloon lift a six year old? Yes.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah, I saw up. I saw the scientific documentary. Up.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah, up. Which one broadcaster will reference during this news event. And someone online is like, that's a little flippant. Falcon's little. He only weighs 37 pounds and this balloon is Full of helium. So yes, it could have lifted him.

[Dana Schwartz]

It's a 20, 20 foot balloon. It's a big balloon.

[Lizzie Logan]

It's a big balloon. Big balloon. They look all over the house. They can't find Falcon. The first call Richard makes is to the FAA because they can't see the balloon anymore.

[Dana Schwartz]

Oh God.

[Lizzie Logan]

So they're like, we need someone who can get eyes on the balloon. So he calls the FAA. The FAA is like, I don't know, man. Call 91 1. It's unclear whether or not 911 puts him on hold or maybe he and Mayumi are making different calls. But basically the, the other two calls that get made, 1 to 911 and 2 to the news, which will come up later when people are accusing them of wanting publicity that like, oh, they called the news before they called 911. What they say is that they wanted somebody who had a chopper.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

Because they just, they want eyes on the balloon.

[Dana Schwartz]

I mean, that makes sense in theory.

[Lizzie Logan]

Sure. It makes as much sense as any of this is going to make sense.

[Dana Schwartz]

And also, like you're talking to a 911 dispatcher. They would be like, what are you talking about?

[Lizzie Logan]

The 911 call is really frustrating to listen to because they just keep repeating false information. And they're like, so he's in the plane? And they're like, no, it's. They don't know how to describe it. So sooner rather than later, CNN interrupts the live news.

[Dana Schwartz]

The.

[Lizzie Logan]

The eyes of the nation around the world are on this balloon because their.

[Dana Schwartz]

Six year old son is in this amateur helium balloon that has flown away.

[Lizzie Logan]

Has flown away and is sort of drifting. And I will say now knowing that everybody's okay and he wasn't even there looks really stupid. Like it looks like a Jiffy Pop thing, just like hovering above Colorado.

[Dana Schwartz]

And they got eyes on it. Clearly someone with a helicopter, they've got eyes on it.

[Lizzie Logan]

The balloon drifts for about two hours. It goes 70 miles and it goes up to 8,000ft in the air. So there's a lot of dangers. It could hit a pole or a power line. It's very cold up there. Falcon could be hurt by the cold. It could crash. And of course he's potentially breathing helium.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yes.

[Lizzie Logan]

Which would kill you pretty quickly.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah. Is 8,000ft. I mean planes are 30,000ft.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah.

[Dana Schwartz]

Is the air breathable up there? I guess not if you're in a helium balloon, like potentially.

[Lizzie Logan]

They say that like there's a flap. He might be breathing like through the flap because it's just like a sort of little cardboard box that's stuck to the bottom that he's supposedly in.

[Dana Schwartz]

That also feels like a risk that it just could fall apart.

[Lizzie Logan]

That's the other thing, is that he could potentially fall out, but everyone is. Is acting as if he is alive because, A, if he's dead, they can't just let him, like, oh, well, goodbye. And B, like, they have to act as if he is alive and could die at any moment. And they need to get him down as soon as possible. Yeah. Oh, and flights are being rerouted out of the Denver airport, which, if anybody wants to do research on the Denver airport. There's a lot of conspiracy theories about the Denver airport.

[Dana Schwartz]

That's also crazy. Like, there are people whose days are getting ruined because these flights. Indeed, someone was late or didn't make it to their sister's wedding.

[Lizzie Logan]

They. Yeah, they have to basically take off going different directions. Oh, it is like a freaking hassle. Like, this is not just a kid playing hide and seek in the woods. They have launched an aircraft. So there is no plan for getting the balloon down. You cannot fly a helicopter close to it because the wind created by the helicopter would just push the balloon away.

[Dana Schwartz]

Oh, God.

[Lizzie Logan]

It's going too slowly to fly a plane parallel to it. A plane would just whoosh past it. Then Colorado Army National Guard sends up two helicopters with the idea that maybe they'll fly a lot above it and lower somebody down or. Or maybe they'll lower down some weights.

[Dana Schwartz]

I have an idea.

[Lizzie Logan]

Literally, I was just gonna say, Dana, how would you get this boy down?

[Dana Schwartz]

Big old net.

[Lizzie Logan]

Okay, 100%. I am also on team Net.

[Dana Schwartz]

So it's like, get the big helicopter above it to drop a net. To drop a net.

[Lizzie Logan]

Drop a big ol net, obviously.

[Dana Schwartz]

Do they not think of big old net?

[Lizzie Logan]

I think some people think of big old net. They also were like, maybe we could get some hang gliders to, like, hang out near him. I don't know.

[Dana Schwartz]

I feel like it would be difficult to hang glide with that sort of precision. Unless you're like, mission impossible. Ethan. Ethan Hunt.

[Lizzie Logan]

Ethan Hunt. Well, he would.

[Dana Schwartz]

He would be able to get this balloon boy.

[Lizzie Logan]

Remember when Elon Musk was going to go get those boys who were trapped in a cave?

[Dana Schwartz]

Oh, yeah. He did not.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah, but Tom Cruise totally could have gotten balloon boy.

[Dana Schwartz]

Tom Cruise. I think not even Ethan Hunt. I think Tom Cruise 100% could have gotten balloon boy.

[Lizzie Logan]

100% could have gotten balloon boy. But anyway, so there's some ideas of what they might do. But nobody's. There's no, like, contingency plan for what if a boy is in a balloon.

[Dana Schwartz]

And the longer you go, the longer you're like, yikes, this is not good.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yes.

[Dana Schwartz]

Because there's a boy in a balloon breathing helium very high up.

[Lizzie Logan]

Very high up. So it's October 2009, and something that I think is interesting about this story is that you see a split between, like, new and traditional media. Because all of the newscasters covering this are not saying it's a hoax. They are, you know, a, I think very cynically, I'll say, I think a lot of news stations wanted it to be real for the ratings. And B, potentially a child's life is in danger. And we have seen, you know, baby Jessica's life was in danger. We have seen this happen. So Anderson Cooper is taking it very seriously. Everybody is taking it very seriously. The entire Internet is like, lmao, this is a hoax. Like, right away, to me, it's similar to what happened with Oceangate, where everyone on the news was like, oh, no, they're dead. And it just immediately became a meme.

[Dana Schwartz]

A meme. I have a question.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yes?

[Dana Schwartz]

When did people start calling him balloon boy?

[Lizzie Logan]

I want to say right away.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah, it seems like a no brainer.

[Lizzie Logan]

Especially because I don't think they would have released his name right away. So first he was just like the boy in the balloon. But yeah, there are Facebook groups coming up about this. He's trending on Twitter. There's like, people are making balloon boy merch on redbubble. Like, balloon boy is having a meme moment.

[Dana Schwartz]

And for the news. It's very rare that you get a news event that is unfolding live.

[Lizzie Logan]

The media ethics here are kind of interesting to think about because if Falcon is up there and dead, they are broadcasting like a child's coffin.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

And like, is that okay to do?

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

Like, isn't that creepy?

[Dana Schwartz]

It's absolutely creepy. It's also, like, it's the. What is the purpose of news? Like, it's interesting. It's an interesting story. And I totally understand why balloon boy captured the entire country's attention. Because it's exactly the combination of things that people love, which is something high stakes. And, like, everyone's watching. I mean, like, dead children. Like, children in peril. Like, you just think of, like, true crime and, like, everyone's macabre fascination with, like, children. And then there's like, the element of absurdity and whimsy to it.

[Lizzie Logan]

He's in the air. It's insane.

[Dana Schwartz]

He's in a slow moving balloon in the air. And you call him balloon boy.

[Lizzie Logan]

He's balloon boy. His name is Falcon. And this is every parent's nightmare, right? Which is you're a great parent. 23 out of 24 hours in the day, the two minutes you look away, sit. Something happens.

[Dana Schwartz]

This is my own personal balloon boy situation. I have a little.

[Lizzie Logan]

You did put your son in a balloon.

[Dana Schwartz]

I put my son in a balloon. We got him. But he did float away for a little bit. No. We thought that my cat Eddie, who I love very much. She's a very sweet little kitten.

[Lizzie Logan]

Sweetie.

[Dana Schwartz]

Had gotten out and ran away. It turns out she did not. She was hiding under a dresser. But in the time that I was looking for her, the thought that she was somewhere scared, like, I'm. Like, my chest hurts thinking about it. And look, if Falcon was in that balloon, the thought that he's up there scared is like, my chest is tightening. Like, that's so sad.

[Lizzie Logan]

That's so scary. It's scary. He's fine.

[Dana Schwartz]

That's why I'm, like, the reason we can get through this is, like, he is okay.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah. So another interesting aspect of this happening in 2009, as opposed to, you know, the year of the bronco chase or the year of baby Jessica, is that the Heaney family has a pretty significant digital footprint.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah. This dad seems like someone who likes attention.

[Lizzie Logan]

He likes attention. And while the balloon is up there, they need to fill the time somehow. And so people start finding all of these YouTube videos that this family has made, all of which have now been scrubbed from the Internet, but you can still find, like, descriptions of what they were.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

And this is, I think, like, possibly Nancy Grace. This is a quote from her broadcast that day. They made a video, including some rough language from the kids, slamming traditional families who play it safe. We can't actually repeat it on the air. The word they used to describe the men in such families. And I did find the title of this video, Play it safe, was called not pussified.

[Dana Schwartz]

Oh, all right.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah. All right. The balloon lands. This is basically the best case scenario. It lands very gently in a wheat field.

[Dana Schwartz]

That's like a dream.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah.

[Dana Schwartz]

It lands in a. Yeah, it just is in a field. Yep.

[Lizzie Logan]

It lands gently in a wheat field. And guess what?

[Dana Schwartz]

No boy.

[Lizzie Logan]

No boy.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yes balloon. No boy.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yes balloon. No boy.

[Dana Schwartz]

And like, the media, I imagine, was there at the wheat field.

[Lizzie Logan]

Oh, yes. Eyes on the wheat field. Rescue workers. There's no boy inside. So one of the possibilities is one did he fall out?

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

And two, is it just like has he been kidnapped? And coincidentally also a balloon is launched? Like okay, if he wasn't in the balloon, then where the F is he? Yeah, the Kini house is covered in rescue workers, reporters, police, etc. And guess who wanders into the living room?

[Dana Schwartz]

Is it Falcon?

[Lizzie Logan]

It is six year old Falcon Heaney. He's like what's up everybody?

[Dana Schwartz]

Oh my God, he's home.

[Lizzie Logan]

He's home. He was in the attic.

[Dana Schwartz]

Okay, and now I need to understand. I need to understand why he was. Who put him there?

[Lizzie Logan]

Great, so that was the kidnapper. That would be the question of the rest of this episode is how do you end up in the attic looking.

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[Lizzie Logan]

Here's what I'll say. It is ridiculous that they would have searched the house and not found him in the attic.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

However, if I am the sheriff of this town, the first thing I'm doing when I get this call is rechecking the house. Nobody found him. So before anybody wants to call the parent stupid for not noticing him in the attic, nobody found him. So I guess he was really well hidden.

[Dana Schwartz]

So the sheriff did all people did.

[Lizzie Logan]

Check the house, or they should have. I'm just saying there were people all over this house and whoever was in charge of checking the attic either didn't check or didn't see him.

[Dana Schwartz]

Also, not to put it on the parents, but if I thought that my child had floated away in a balloon, I wouldn't be doing like, a methodical check of the house. You're in, like, panic mode.

[Lizzie Logan]

This is true.

[Dana Schwartz]

Think that your child's in the balloon.

[Lizzie Logan]

It was Bradford who said Falcon was in the balloon.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah. Okay. But they have a big reunion on the front lawn. Everyone's really happy. Best case scenario, kid was never even in danger. I'll show you a picture. Falcon tucks his little head into his shirt because he's six and very overwhelmed.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

Here is what the original explanation is, okay. Is that Falcon was playing in the balloon. His dad yelled at him about it, so he got embarrassed, ran and hid in the attic and fell asleep.

[Dana Schwartz]

Okay.

[Lizzie Logan]

And that's what happened.

[Dana Schwartz]

Sure.

[Lizzie Logan]

If this happened to you with Arthur, how would you handle it? Would you be embarrassed? Would you be relieved? Would you think it was funny? Would you think it was dramatic?

[Dana Schwartz]

And this is after the balloon boy situation?

[Lizzie Logan]

Yes, after, like, that night.

[Dana Schwartz]

Okay.

[Lizzie Logan]

What Would be your. How would you approach that first, like.

[Dana Schwartz]

Overwhelming relief that my child was not in danger. Like, probably like tears. Like, I think I would just be crazy. Like, thrilled and then embarrassed for the media. Like, embarrassed that, like, the FAA and helicopters were involved. So relief and then humiliation.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yes. So Richard does make a comment where he's like, we're going to keep a better eye on him and listen, little boys be crazy.

[Dana Schwartz]

That's. That is, I think, would be a little too flippant for my reaction. I think I would be like, oh, my God, I can't believe I thought my son was in danger. And he's alive.

[Lizzie Logan]

Would you do more press?

[Dana Schwartz]

No.

[Lizzie Logan]

Okay, so this is the big thing is they keep doing press and they will say later that the sheriff told them that, like, do press now, so they'll leave you alone later.

[Dana Schwartz]

I guess you do one interview to be like, we're so embarrassed. That's. I guess that's what I would do if I had to. I would be like, this is mortifying. No parents should ever have to go through this. And I'm so sorry.

[Lizzie Logan]

Maybe do a PSA about balloon safety. So that night, via satellite, they go on Larry King Live. It's not being hosted by Larry King, it's Wolf Blitzer's on that night. And they give an interview as a family. And we're gonna read just the little part of this interview. So it's three people are talking. It's Richard, Mayumi, and Falcon. But there's only two of us. So would you like to read the parents or Falcon?

[Dana Schwartz]

I'll be the parents. Falcon, did you hear us calling your name at any time?

[Lizzie Logan]

Mm.

[Dana Schwartz]

You did. You did. Well, why didn't you come out?

[Lizzie Logan]

You had said that we did this for a show, man.

[Dana Schwartz]

No.

[Lizzie Logan]

All right, so this is where the trouble begins.

[Dana Schwartz]

You had said that we did this for a show.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yes. This is the smoking gun of balloon boy.

[Dana Schwartz]

Falcon.

[Lizzie Logan]

I love. Falcons are the heroes of this story, so this really damns them. Wolf Blitzer does not push back on that right away. Later, Richard will explain that after he was, like, discovered to be fine, he showed a, like, report, like a Chinese reporter where he had been hiding. And so that's what he thought his parents were asking about. He was like, oh, you said that it was for the show that I was in the attic. The show meaning the news. Okay, so he was. And again, this is a six year old who's had a long day. Yeah.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

So this is not like a confession necessarily.

[Dana Schwartz]

It could be a little confusing.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yes. That night, the sheriff is like, it's not a hoax. All is well that ends well. The sheriff says, you know, this would not be the first time that a kid hides. Parents freak out, and then the kid, realizing that people are looking for them, is so embarrassed that they don't come out for a while. Like, this is kid logic, kid behavior.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

Over the weekend, the family does more pressure. They go on two morning shows, and Falcon throws up during both of them.

[Dana Schwartz]

Oh, Falcon, we shouldn't make him do this.

[Lizzie Logan]

He's 6, and he's really stressed out. They also bring the parents in for some more questioning. They question all of the family members individually. The details of that questioning we're gonna get to by Monday. The sheriff is like, so this was a hoax? We've kind of always thought it was a hoax, but we were saying that we didn't think that to get the family to play along with us. We think the whole family was in on it. But we're not going to charge the kids with anything.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah, don't charge the children.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah. Specifically, what they say is that Mayumi admitted it and signed an affidavit to that effect. And they use that to get a search warrant to search the house. And they say that through this search, they find evidence to prove that the family was trying to get a reality TV show and had money troubles. Okay, Dana, how does that sound to you as a motive? Does that sound like the logical conclusion?

[Dana Schwartz]

It doesn't sound logical, but it sounds plausible.

[Lizzie Logan]

Sure.

[Dana Schwartz]

If I had money troubles and wanted a reality TV show, I don't know if I would think Child Away in a Balloon. I just don't know if my brain would go there.

[Lizzie Logan]

What about the opposite direction of investigation? Like, if I said, oh, my God, Dana, I heard about this family. They did this thing. Why do you think they did that? Would you immediately jump to, they were probably trying to get a TV show? No.

[Dana Schwartz]

It just feels like a big leap.

[Lizzie Logan]

So why would they think that? Well, because here's everything the Heaney family did to try and get famous before 2009.

[Dana Schwartz]

No. Yeah, because I would be like, why would they give a reality TV show to this family?

[Lizzie Logan]

Great question.

[Dana Schwartz]

Because of a balloon. But, yeah, I would love to know what this family did.

[Lizzie Logan]

Richard and Mayumi, who's originally from Japan, met in a Los Angeles acting class.

[Dana Schwartz]

Okay.

[Lizzie Logan]

In the 90s.

[Dana Schwartz]

All right.

[Lizzie Logan]

@ the time, Richard wanted to be a comedian, and Mayumi was in a rock band.

[Dana Schwartz]

I mean, that's cool.

[Lizzie Logan]

Sure.

[Dana Schwartz]

I mean, they should make an indie.

[Lizzie Logan]

Film I think it was called Balloon Boy.

[Dana Schwartz]

Oh, God.

[Lizzie Logan]

They married three months later and started an entertainment business. They're doing the LA thing. In 1999, Richard wrote a script about a man who inherits a desert gas station that doubles as a restaurant and hotel. It's cursed because one of his ancestors killed Native Americans after consuming peyote. He loses his mind after taking peyote, setting off a gross and grisly escapade involving laxative laced chili serpent monsters hiding in toilets, et cetera.

[Dana Schwartz]

That's from an article that doesn't sound like the worst movie I've heard. Heard about.

[Lizzie Logan]

No, it doesn't sound good.

[Dana Schwartz]

No. But I'm like, I've heard of worst screenplay ideas.

[Lizzie Logan]

Make it.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

In addition to their Hollywood ambitions, Richard has some theories. He's into electromagnetism and the potential electromagnetic energy that comes off of dead bodies. He's really into gadgets and gizmos. He has this theory that storms are not caused by temperature changes, but by electromagnets and the earth's polarity.

[Dana Schwartz]

You know, what if this sounds like some people are just untaught geniuses and those are very rare. But it's that thing of like, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing where if you, like skimmed an article about electromagnetism and you're like, well, I have some big ideas now. But if you actually talk to like an engineering professor or like someone who does electrical engineering, they'd be like, no, that doesn't make sense. For these reasons, 100%.

[Lizzie Logan]

He's very much someone who has a lot of interests and not a lot of, like, study.

[Dana Schwartz]

He like, listened to a podcast.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah. Like, he would be really into Joe Rogan anyway. He thinks there might be civilizations on Mars and hey, there might be. There might be. But I don't want to talk about it.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

The family moves out to Colorado, leaving behind a trail of debt. They never stopped trying to get famous. Richard made a documentary about tornado chasing. Tried to sell it to a TV station. No takers. CNN used to have, I guess, sort of like their own version of YouTube. That was CNN iReporter where you could make your own videos and upload it. So again, all of this has been scrubbed from the Internet, but in coverage, you'll sometimes see them being like CNN I reporter contributor. Richard Heaney.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah, he.

[Lizzie Logan]

He does this YouTube show that's very podcasty called the Science Detectives. That's like P S Y. Like the P. Science Detectives.

[Dana Schwartz]

Science.

[Lizzie Logan]

I can only find one episode online, but it's him and two other people just talking about how the world's gonna end in 2012. So, like, it's not even very original fake science.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah, it's like recycled fake science. He.

[Lizzie Logan]

And this is a piece of evidence that the police did for sure find that at the time of the incident, he did have a profile up on a, like, casting website for reality tv.

[Dana Schwartz]

Okay, well, I understand his character. Yeah. We live in la. We come across these people.

[Lizzie Logan]

Oh, sure. Dana, do you remember the television show Wife Swap?

[Dana Schwartz]

Oh, my God. Yes, I do. It's an absurd television show.

[Lizzie Logan]

What if I told you the Heaney family was on Wife Swap? No, Hayna, what if I told you the Heaney family was on Wife Swap twice?

[Dana Schwartz]

Oh, my gosh. Well, should we explain the concept of Wife swap?

[Lizzie Logan]

Please explain the concept of wife swap.

[Dana Schwartz]

As I remember it, it would be a family where two families that are very different. One that's like a very, like, military organized Boy Scout family, and one that's like a very hippie family. And I guess for a week, they would swap moms, and the moms would, I guess, like, isn't it funny that this, like, family where they're all, like, hippies now? The mom's like, we wake up at 6am and make our beds. So, like. And then at the end that, I guess parents come together and are like, I guess I learned something about parenting styles.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yes. So that's basically it. So it's, I think it's two weeks. The first week, the mom has to live like the host family, and then the second week, she gets to set some rules. Okay, so the Heaney family appeared in season five, episode one of Wife Swap. This is right before Balloon Boy happens. This is 2008.

[Dana Schwartz]

I can't believe this. What was their, like, archetype?

[Lizzie Logan]

So they are presented as free thinking storm chasers.

[Dana Schwartz]

Okay. Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

Who? The kids sleep in their clothes because they might be woken up in the night to go chase a storm. Yeah.

[Dana Schwartz]

That they're like, the preppers or they're just, like.

[Lizzie Logan]

They're, like, really into extreme weather and. Yeah, they're like adventurer, prepper science types. They're very into the science side of supernatural stuff. Like, not so much magic, more aliens.

[Dana Schwartz]

Okay, I get it. They're sci fi, not fantasy.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yes. At one point, the voiceover says, Richard rides a motorbike into the center of the tornado to take readings. For research.

[Dana Schwartz]

For research.

[Lizzie Logan]

Favorites. His favorite breakfast is something called Spaceship eggs, which is basically just a piece of toast and a fried egg. And then he, like, Puts the egg on the toast and is like, it's on the spaceship.

[Dana Schwartz]

That's so cute. I think it's cute when a family has a little bit.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yes. And also, here's what I'll say. The kids are like, they're not bad kids, but they are so unparented. They fart and burp at the table. They use filthy language. They have to be bleeped out. And Falcon is five at this point.

[Dana Schwartz]

No.

[Lizzie Logan]

Richard and Mayumi seem to really like each other, but they're always yelling. They're yelling at each other. They're yelling at the kids. The kids don't listen. They don't really have a bedtime. It's just kind of chaotic. They swap with a Connecticut family that's like very buttoned up. And Richard. And Again, this is 2008 and he's definitely hamming it up for the cameras.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

He's such a misogynist. Oh, no, he's super misogynistic. He's super chauvinistic. He expects the wife to be very wifey and yells at her when she doesn't. He drives this woman so insane that she goes and spends the night at a hotel for a couple nights.

[Dana Schwartz]

I mean, good for her.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah. And yet this got big ratings. So later that season, it's wife swap episode 102. Fan favorite families are picked to do a swap, and bahinis come back.

[Dana Schwartz]

I bet Richard was thrilled.

[Lizzie Logan]

He. I really think he was. So it is no longer storm season. So they are instead making a UFO that looks a lot like the balloon to try to contact aliens. Oh, great.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

That's their family project. And Richard is showing off his inventions like a motor that needs no fuel and a machine that's gonna solved it.

[Dana Schwartz]

It was good that someone got on there.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah. Hello. And a machine that could dissipate a tornado. Twister.

[Dana Schwartz]

Can you. Can you say Twisters?

[Lizzie Logan]

That's literally a plot point in Twisters, which if that's not his favorite movie.

[Dana Schwartz]

Maybe he thinks they stole it from one of his screenplays.

[Lizzie Logan]

Maybe.

[Dana Schwartz]

Isn't that the plot of Twisters?

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah. It's less a machine and more. She thinks this one chemical will disappear, absorb the moisture.

[Dana Schwartz]

That's where he went wrong. I didn't see Twisters.

[Lizzie Logan]

It's fun.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

The family that they swap with, you would think they would get along because the mom is a psychic.

[Dana Schwartz]

Oh, yeah. But that's too like fantasy for they don't think there's science for aliens. There's no science for psychics.

[Lizzie Logan]

He's so mean to this woman. She's not as good at handling conflict. He calls her fat and lazy to her feet face. No, he at one point throws milk on her and the producer has to step in.

[Dana Schwartz]

He sounds awful. I hate this man so much.

[Lizzie Logan]

He's very unlikable.

[Dana Schwartz]

I wanted to come in, like, with an open mind to balloon boy family, but he. Oh, that's so awful.

[Lizzie Logan]

He's pretty awful. I will say Sheri, the woman that he threw the milk on then goes on the news and is like, I don't think they'd lie. So, like, what? Good. Good for Sheri. Good for Sheri.

[Dana Schwartz]

But also, just because the person you threw the milk on is okay with it doesn't mean you should throw milk on people.

[Lizzie Logan]

No, you shouldn't. Men need to be nice to women, period.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

All right, let's check back in with the Heaneys. Post balloon boy.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

Things are not looking good. Child protective services has been called.

[Dana Schwartz]

So am I. I don't want to fast forward through. No, we can, but the. No, no, I don't wanna skip any, like, if you're gonna get to it, but. So basically they had arranged this whole thing. The whole thing was fake.

[Lizzie Logan]

They to this day maintain that it was not fake and that they thought Falcon was in there.

[Dana Schwartz]

Really? Yes, but really, people are like. People think they kind of orchestrated it. Told Falcon to hide.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yes.

[Dana Schwartz]

Because. Which it's kind of galaxy brain because.

[Lizzie Logan]

He went on CNN and said, we did this for a show.

[Dana Schwartz]

No, but I'm like, it's kind of galaxy brain to be like. They knew that if they pretended a child was in a slow moving balloon, people would care. Like they were correct about that.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah.

[Dana Schwartz]

And like. Yeah, they got all the news attention.

[Lizzie Logan]

They got the news attention. And then Falcon sold him out.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah. Well, he's six and he was stressed out.

[Lizzie Logan]

He was six and he was really stressed out.

[Dana Schwartz]

Okay. Sorry. After. So.

[Lizzie Logan]

No, so that's fine. So let's check back in with the Heaneys. Child Protective services has been called. Child Protective services decides the kids are fine. They don't file a report. There's no evidence of abuse, but people are still digging through their past, calling everybody they know. They find a record of the police showing up at their house after like a 911 hang up. That maybe was a domestic violence situation. They heard yelling, but the family says that it was the kids yelling. Mayumi has a red mark on her face. She says she's fine. So, you know, I don't want to tell tales out of school. But they're digging up dirt on this family.

[Dana Schwartz]

There's, there's some suspicion.

[Lizzie Logan]

I mean, they're getting canceled. You know, they're, they're digging through their tweets. Metaphorically.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

They find all of their old YouTube videos where, like, kids are saying slurs. He made this like, weird parody of an attack on the Capitol. Or he's like, you know, did JFK fake his death? Is Hillary a reptile?

[Dana Schwartz]

Like, like, this is looks continuing.

[Lizzie Logan]

So people are now continuing to find old stuff. Okay, so there's more. Just every day, more is coming out of. Can you believe these people are combing, looking through their tracks, shall we say? The FAA opens an investigation. The investigators find out that the Heaneys were in talks with rdf, which is the company that produces Wife Swap for their own show. And RDF is like, yeah, we had a conversation. We're not doing that anymore.

[Dana Schwartz]

Sure.

[Lizzie Logan]

A student, like a 25 year old research student in Colorado, contacts Business Insider saying they have proof it was a hoax. And does Business Insider want to buy that proof? And Business Insider says, we don't pay for stories, but we'll publish, like, your statement on our website in case anybody else wants to buy it.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

The National Enquirer is interested, but it ends up this guy's name is Robert Thomas, and he sells his story to Gawker.

[Dana Schwartz]

Gawker. There's a Gawker cameo in this story.

[Lizzie Logan]

Gawker was all over this in the day. A lot of this is deleted now because the Gawker archives have kind of been raided. So, like the actual proposal and the PDFs of all the emails aren't there. But you can find the essay that this guy Robert Thomas wrote about his experiences with Richard.

[Dana Schwartz]

So there is actual proof that it was a hoax.

[Lizzie Logan]

Potentially. What he says is that he and Richard were working on a pitch for a Mythbusters slash Mad Scientist type show. But Richard was more into being famous and Robert was more into the science.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

Do you want to read a couple quotes from this essay that this guy writes for Gawker?

[Dana Schwartz]

I would love to. Richard said, quote, well, think about it. We were the 100th episode of Wife Swap. And why are we the most recognized Wife swap family and episode? It's because of the controversy. I don't care what people say about me as a person, but the fact of the matter is they know who I am. Not wrong. And then here's another quote. Bluntly, I think Richard's ego blinds him to his brilliance. The only thing Inhibiting him from progressing is a steadfast determination to. To become famous and live a Hollywood lifestyle. Someone needs to slap him in the face and say, wake up. This is not what's important. He has an amazing family that has already been subject to a tremendous amount of criticism. I especially feel bad for Falcon. He's going to be known as balloon boy for the rest of his life. That's not something you want to tell a girl on the first date. I mean, it would be an. That is actually an interesting thing to tell a girl on a first date.

[Lizzie Logan]

Also, like, it happened when you were six. You don't have to tell her.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah, you don't have to tell her. But also, like, that's kind of like, that's a fun fact.

[Lizzie Logan]

So. Yeah. So people are really coming for the Heaney family. And another point that Robert makes, which it speaks to this thing of, like, people really think they know what the truth must be based on what they know about these people, which is, like, anybody can act anyway at any time.

[Dana Schwartz]

Did Robert have any, like, actual proof, or was it just like, I had this experiment experience?

[Lizzie Logan]

He says that in the proposal, which now I can't find, but it's like, he had apparently talked to Richard about, like, well, it sure would get a lot of ratings if a kid was in a balloon.

[Dana Schwartz]

And. No, no, no, no. Like, he had floated the idea, the notion that it would get a lot of attention.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yes. So he says that they had these conversations, and then there's proof of, like, some series they were gonna try to pitch. There's a lot of circumstantial proof.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

And another big takeaway is he says that the story about Falcon going and hiding the attic because he was scared after his dad yelled at him is impossible because Falcon's not afraid of his dad.

[Dana Schwartz]

I mean, that seems relevant, especially because it seems like this family's yelling at each other all the time.

[Lizzie Logan]

Right. But it's also, like, that's so embarrassing if, like, you can't get your kid to.

[Dana Schwartz]

There's no sense of discipline.

[Lizzie Logan]

You should be able to discipline your kid.

[Dana Schwartz]

No sense of discipline in this family.

[Lizzie Logan]

Dana, question.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yes.

[Lizzie Logan]

Now, knowing all of this, if you're the county prosecutor.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

What do you think the charges should be, and what do you think the sentences for those charges should?

[Dana Schwartz]

Be?

[Lizzie Logan]

Like, what laws have they actually broken? I know.

[Dana Schwartz]

I wish I knew more laws. I'm like, fraud. It feels like something because they didn't collect any money. Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

So it's not like they had a gofundme. Yeah, Frau.

[Dana Schwartz]

Fraud seems like a blanket thing. Oh, you're, like, lying to, like, police. Like, lying to police and to 911. Like, you can't do that. You're not supposed to lie to police.

[Lizzie Logan]

No, you're not.

[Dana Schwartz]

So whatever that is per. No, that's not per jury. I did model UN not model.

[Lizzie Logan]

You didn't do mock trial.

[Dana Schwartz]

I did mock trial in high school. I should know at least some laws. But I would say whatever, like, obstruction of justice is, and I would say it should be, like, six weeks in prison or a hefty fine.

[Lizzie Logan]

Great. So, Richard. So they both end up pleading guilty to what they're charged with. They get plea deals. Richard gets 90 days after pleading guilty to one count of attempting to influence a public servant.

[Dana Schwartz]

Okay.

[Lizzie Logan]

Which is a felony. He's a felon. Mayumi gets, like, 21 days on a misdemeanor of making a false report.

[Dana Schwartz]

Okay, that's. That's kind of. I kind of nailed it. Thank you, Dana.

[Lizzie Logan]

Nailed it.

[Dana Schwartz]

I kind of nailed it.

[Lizzie Logan]

A.

[Dana Schwartz]

My mock trial history comes right back.

[Lizzie Logan]

If your teacher's listening. Great job.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

Mayumi states many times that she thought she was going to have her kids taken away or that she could be deported. She's not a citizen. And Richard says that he pled guilty to get the felony wrap off of her so that she wouldn't be deported.

[Dana Schwartz]

So they still maintain that they're innocent, that the balloon boy was not a hoax, but they are just trying to protect themselves 100%.

[Lizzie Logan]

And it's a little unclear how the deportation might have factored into this, because the county, of course, says we never threatened anybody with deportation. And also, they kind of can't even guarantee that she wouldn't be deported because, like, the Colorado police are not in charge of that.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

So even if they said, like, hey, plead guilty, and we promise we won't deport you, any lawyer would be like. Like, ICE can still deport you even if you strike this bargain.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah. Colorado does not have that power.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah. They can't guarantee it. So it's a little unclear whether or not that was ever, like, a serious threat. But basically, they just want this to go away. They want to avoid a trial. And she's not deported. And they don't really do any hard time either. He does a couple weeks, I think, in, like, the county jail, and then he gets out on a work release. She does work release on the weekends. She doesn't even, I think, spend a night in custody and has community service hours. And they have to pay a very hefty fine.

[Dana Schwartz]

I mean, that. That sounds right.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah. The judge says that they're not allowed to profit from this, so no selling balloon boy merch.

[Dana Schwartz]

Ooh, I thought that was devastating.

[Lizzie Logan]

No selling your story to cnn. You're not allowed to get paid for this.

[Dana Schwartz]

What about a reality show?

[Lizzie Logan]

No, the reality show Dreams have been dashed. I feel like today them being liars would only increase their value in the reality.

[Dana Schwartz]

I was really gonna say, like, I feel like now if balloon boy happened and these people were so craven. That's like, part of it is like, look at these terrible, craven people who manipulate their children.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah. Andy Cohen could really do something with them.

[Dana Schwartz]

I mean, look, if the Baldwins have a TV show, that's all.

[Lizzie Logan]

I can't even. They just. I mean, they need the money because they have too many kids.

[Dana Schwartz]

They have too many kids.

[Lizzie Logan]

So typically, when you take a plea bargain, I don't think you're supposed to go around saying, I'm innocent. And I only take this plea bargain, like, to avoid doing hard times.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

Because Richard also had to, like, make an apology in court. But it's a little bit funny when this comes up. The, the. Everyone's like, hey, Sheriff, like, they say that they took a plea bargain for all these reasons and that they're actually innocent. Like, aren't you mad about that? And he's like, well, everybody knows they lie. So, like, whatever. They could say what they want.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yep.

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[Lizzie Logan]

In 2010, they get the balloon back.

[Dana Schwartz]

Oh, good for them.

[Lizzie Logan]

So that's, that's.

[Dana Schwartz]

You mean it's not in the Smithsonian?

[Lizzie Logan]

It is not in the Smith, unless they donated it. But they get the balloon back and they move to Florida and homeschool their kids.

[Dana Schwartz]

It does seem right that these people moved to Florida. Somehow that feels like the fitting epilogue to this story.

[Lizzie Logan]

Absolutely. They don't quite stop trying to be famous.

[Dana Schwartz]

Oh, yeah, you can't. You can't. What's the idiom? I was gonna say teach a horse new tricks. I have a baby, my brain is broken.

[Lizzie Logan]

You can take the family off reality TV, but you can't take reality TV out of the family.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

In 2011, Richard goes on HLN, which is like a 24 hour news cable news channel dressed as Aluminum man, which he says is like the superhero for the working man that he invented that's supposed to be the mascot of Occupy Wall Street.

[Dana Schwartz]

Oh, okay. He's trying to weasel his way into anything where news cameras are.

[Lizzie Logan]

Uh huh. He is hawking his Heeny Doody truck bed invention that's like a sort of like a lift thing to get stuff in and out of your truck.

[Dana Schwartz]

All right.

[Lizzie Logan]

In 2015, the family writes a musical opera called American Chili that is based on that screenplay I described. And they do put out promotional material that's like, featuring Balloon boy Falcon Heaney.

[Dana Schwartz]

It feels like they're walking a fine line.

[Lizzie Logan]

The judge would not be happy about this, but I think at this point, nobody cares. The boys start a heavy metal rock band called the Heaney Boys with a Z.

[Dana Schwartz]

That's cute. Are we gonna talk about his best invention that I saw that infomercial for?

[Lizzie Logan]

Oh, sure, sure, sure. Well, in a sec.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

They have a song called Balloon Boy no hoax.

[Dana Schwartz]

They have a song called Balloon Boy no Hoax.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah, it's Balloon Boy parentheses. No hoax.

[Dana Schwartz]

The parentheses are important.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah, yeah. Okay. It has a Balloon boy themed music video that goes along with it. Great. You can look it up. They have comic books, CDs, and other merchandise. In 2016, there's an article written about them which includes the very funny line, the family wouldn't comment for the story, but did release a publicity photo of the band. And here is that publicity photo.

[Dana Schwartz]

Oh, wow. All right. Okay.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah. So they're just like long haired, shirtless boys.

[Dana Schwartz]

Just long haired, shirtless boys running around, rocking out. This. It does feel. This was, what, 2009, you said the Balloon Boy thing?

[Lizzie Logan]

Yes.

[Dana Schwartz]

Like, it does feel like they were 10 years almost too early of how craven social media self promotion has become.

[Lizzie Logan]

In a way. Yes. Yeah, they really tried.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah, they really tried. And they're, I guess, still trying. So they.

[Lizzie Logan]

I would potentially watch a reality show about them, but. Yeah. So Richard continues to make inventions. One of his inventions is this contraption that gets stuff in and out of your truck. Another is a $20 piece of plastic that you stick on the wall that looks like a tree branch so that you can like, scratch your back like the way bears do. I don't know why a door jamb isn't good enough for that, but it.

[Dana Schwartz]

Seems like actually something that people would buy on Etsy.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah. Anyway. And of course, the. Your shakedown. Would you like to tell us about this invention? Yeah.

[Dana Schwartz]

This is what Lizzie showed me at the beginning of this episode. It is a. Was it six easy payments of $30.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah.

[Dana Schwartz]

So six easy payments of 29.99. So an $180 contraption that looks like it's about the size of, like, a mini fridge. Yeah. That you put on your counter with rubber bands. And it's for when you have, like, ketchup or mustard or relish or something, and you want to get the bottom out of the. Out of the container. So instead of just holding it and, like, shaking it pretty hard like a normal person, or just, like, leaving it bottom down in your fridge, you put it in this giant contraption, and it goes, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom. And shakes it to the bottom.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah. But also, you have to crank it so it's not like it even frees up your hands.

[Dana Schwartz]

So for $180, you can have this massive thing that takes up so much counter space so you don't have to shake your own ketchup.

[Lizzie Logan]

And I think he realized that because in a lot of the materials, he's, like, trying to sell it to, like, restaurant supply stores, that maybe this would help people, like, you know, marry the ketchup bottles at the end of the day. But it's really just solving a problem no one has.

[Dana Schwartz]

Also, imagine it's like, okay, how often do you even buy ketchup? And imagine the money. Whatever money you'll save from not throwing away that little bit of ketchup at the bottom. You're like, am I. Is it $180 worth of ketchup? I don't think I'll ever spend $180 of ketchup in my. Over my entire life.

[Lizzie Logan]

That's like your whole lifetime condiment budget. Yeah. Yeah. It's insane. He says, like, it pays for itself in a year. And I'm like, you would have to have, like, industrial amounts of ketchup and.

[Dana Schwartz]

Also just be so lazy and have.

[Lizzie Logan]

But not even. Because you still have to get up and crank it. No.

[Dana Schwartz]

Who has that counter space? I think because I live in a small house, and I am, like, very attuned to, like, clutter and objects. Like, when I see a kitchen gadget, I have, like, a visceral reaction of just like, where does it go?

[Lizzie Logan]

I have no idea where it goes. It's a bad.

[Dana Schwartz]

It's a bad invention.

[Lizzie Logan]

I'm sorry. If you're near a computer, look up.

[Dana Schwartz]

The youe shakedown, Richard Heaney, your shakedown, and tell me where it would go.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah. If you have. Oh, my God. If you have one of these, send us a Picture.

[Dana Schwartz]

If only Gawker was still around, because Gawker would do a story about, like, we bought at Richard Heaney, your shakedown.

[Lizzie Logan]

There are so many times where I'm like, gawker needs to be on this.

[Dana Schwartz]

I know.

[Lizzie Logan]

In 2017, okay, a YouTuber called Internet Historian, who's like a pretty big YouTuber and his videos get millions of views, decides to dig into the balloon boy of it all. And he comes out, he comes down to being like 50, 50 on whether or not it was a hoax. And he sort of goes through all of these assumptions and he basically says, like, let's take Falcon's confession out of it because he was a six year old.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

Is there any evidence that it was a hoax? Not circumstantial. Not.

[Dana Schwartz]

Not like these people are fame hungry.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah. Like, not assumptions based on 2 plus 2 equaling 4. Like, is. Is there any actual evidence it was a hoax? Some of his arguments I find more compelling than others. Okay, well, one of the things is, like, he sort of looks at this home video and he's like, they look really genuinely worried.

[Dana Schwartz]

They are actors.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah, Anyone can get upset. And he's like, they had all this science stuff. Clearly they didn't just buy it for the hoax. And I'm like, no, but they still could have done a hoax with science stuff they already had.

[Dana Schwartz]

Correct.

[Lizzie Logan]

Basically, he. He breaks down the police's version of events that, like, they bought the balloon specifically for the hoax. But, like, there's evidence they had the balloon before whatever date they said they bought the balloon.

[Dana Schwartz]

I would have said, even just hearing that, I would have assumed that they had the balloon and then were like, oh, and we can also use it for this.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yes, yes. So it is not like a real like, oh, we solved it type video. And also, Falcon never cracked again. And they tried to get him to. They did some, like, shady stuff to interview him without his parents present. And there's video of it and he sticks to his story that he was hiding because his dad was mad at him.

[Dana Schwartz]

All right.

[Lizzie Logan]

This video also features a clip from some interview that Richard did where he is pointing his finger at the sheriff, saying that the sheriff wanted to run for governor and the sheriff is corrupt and that it was the sheriff who got a taste of the limelight and wanted to make it a bigger thing. Richard sees this video and loves it. So he sends Internet historian, like a three, 30 minute video of himself talking to the camera, going through like the case files, the affidavit, like, really breaking things down, like, footage of the, like, interrogations, et cetera, et cetera. This is the most calm I have ever seen. Richard. He's so. I mean, it's calm, like, for Richard Heaney.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

But if he had just acted this way the whole time, I don't think anybody would have liked been as. Reacted as strongly. He pretty methodically goes through all of these things that the police did wrong. He says that he was afraid of being framed. That's why he took a guilty plea. He's like, we could have won in court based on the evidence, but they would just make up evidence.

[Dana Schwartz]

Okay.

[Lizzie Logan]

He points to specifically in this county, a man who had already served 10 years for murder had just been freed on DNA evidence. And so he's like, well, the same court that put this innocent guy away was gonna put me away, so that's why I took a guilty plea.

[Dana Schwartz]

Okay. I mean, yes, the court has historically put innocent people behind bars.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yep. He. He looks. He sort of says, like, you know, they. They said that with the dimensions of the balloon, no reasonable person would think it could lift the kid. But they got the dimensions of the balloon wrong. This is. They're fabricating evidence, and I'm like, I don't know, man. He says that Mayumi's confession was coerced, that she doesn't speak very good English and doesn't really know what hoax means.

[Dana Schwartz]

Okay.

[Lizzie Logan]

Potentially true.

[Dana Schwartz]

Listen to this podcast, Mayomi.

[Lizzie Logan]

It's so. But yes. And also, you know, get a lawyer. In all these reports, they're talking about how he has, like, such a bad attitude when they're trying to give him a polygraph, but he's diabetic, and he hadn't slept, and his blood sugar was going crazy, and so that's why he was acting like he was gonna fall asleep and stuff. So basically, he paints, like, a pretty good picture of the cops having it out for him.

[Dana Schwartz]

Okay.

[Lizzie Logan]

Which isn't the same as saying it's not hoax.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yes, it's true.

[Lizzie Logan]

And some of his stuff, it's like, okay, I'm sorry, but that's the cops. Where he's like, it was a Saturday, so I couldn't call a lawyer because all the lawyer's offices was closed. And I bet they did that on purpose. And I'm like, well, this thing happened on a Thursday, man. That's how cops are. Anyway, 2019, he presents all his evidence that way. He's. He's gotten his story out on YouTube. A writer for a Denver magazine comes to the family in Florida. They're going to get to the bottom of it once and for all.

[Dana Schwartz]

Okay.

[Lizzie Logan]

Richard is complaining that he. The big. The big. He's a lost work because of this balloon boy. Balloon boy incident and people thinking that he's a liar.

[Dana Schwartz]

And B, also, wasn't his work just like inventing stuff?

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah, but like, he's like a contractor and people don't want him in their homes.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah. That's fair.

[Lizzie Logan]

I also think he never really made a lot of money. They seem to be living in like a camper.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

He really wants to go on Shark Tank because he is an inventor with.

[Dana Schwartz]

The shakedown, I imagine.

[Lizzie Logan]

I would hope so.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

But you can't go on Shark Tank if you've been convicted of a felony in the past 10 years.

[Dana Schwartz]

Ah. Well, it's almost up.

[Lizzie Logan]

It's almost up. But he's still salty.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

So the writer gets Mayumi's permission to go through her case file that her lawyer sends over, and he finds handwritten notes from Mayumi that tell a slightly different version of the entire story.

[Dana Schwartz]

A smoking gun.

[Lizzie Logan]

A smoking gun. What these notes seem to imply is that they had the idea to do a mini version of this hoax, that they were going to launch the balloon for like 30 minutes and say that he was in the balloon and get like just enough attention. Like maybe not get like the whole Justice Department involved.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

But they were just going to do a mini hoax and then they were going to go find Falcon hiding in the basement and it would be like, ah, whoops.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yep.

[Lizzie Logan]

But this is the problem with doing schemes that rely on a six year old. Falcon didn't hide in the basement. He hid in the attic.

[Dana Schwartz]

Oh.

[Lizzie Logan]

So they went down to the basement, couldn't find him, freaked out, and maybe actually thought he was in the balloon.

[Dana Schwartz]

Oh, my God. Double twist, slash.

[Lizzie Logan]

Couldn't be like, it's okay, you don't need to. You don't need to look in the balloon. He's not there. But we don't know where he is. They have reporters on them and they don't know where their six year old is.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

So they had to just keep playing along until finally you can't be like.

[Dana Schwartz]

He'S supposed to be in the basement, but he's not.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah. So apparently he was supposed to only hide for 30 minutes. He was supposed to be in the basement, but he was in the attic playing with toys and fell asleep.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

The writer calls up the Heaney family to be like, hey, is this what happened? And they just start like crying and screaming. And that's how that article ends.

[Dana Schwartz]

That's the most plausible version.

[Lizzie Logan]

To me, it seems quite plausible. Christmas Eve 2020, the governor of Colorado issues a series of pardons, including the Heaney family. Which is not to say that they are, like, acquitted, but they're just like, you don't need to be a felon anymore.

[Dana Schwartz]

So he can go on Shark Tank.

[Lizzie Logan]

He can go on Shark Tank. To my knowledge, he has not done that yet. But the attorney for the Heaney family says the balloonacy is over.

[Dana Schwartz]

The balloonacy is over.

[Lizzie Logan]

Richard says, this is like a new launch. I'm flying high.

[Dana Schwartz]

Oh, God. He had been thinking of that pun for a long time.

[Lizzie Logan]

I know. And when you read, like, the sort of original day two coverage of this, every single article is like, they're full of hot air.

[Dana Schwartz]

Oh, God.

[Lizzie Logan]

They start, like, a tiny home business. They're renovating houses as a family.

[Dana Schwartz]

Are they trying to do a reality show about it?

[Lizzie Logan]

They don't seem to want publicity anymore. All right, Falcon is on Instagram and TikTok. He's, like, pretty funny, but not more so than any young boy.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah, he's just a boy on TikTok.

[Lizzie Logan]

And that's kind of where we leave them.

[Dana Schwartz]

I mean, they didn't end in a worse place from when they started.

[Lizzie Logan]

Not necessarily. So to my thinking, there are essentially four versions of what could have happened.

[Dana Schwartz]

Okay.

[Lizzie Logan]

Number one, they just fully thought he was in the balloon.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah, they freaked out. Thought he was in the balloon.

[Lizzie Logan]

They just fully thought he was in the balloon. Number two, and this is a theory I have that I've not seen anyone else have that it was, like, a prank by the kids.

[Dana Schwartz]

Oh, yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

Because it would be so easy for a kid to be like, I'm gonna go hide, and you can go find me. And then for Bradford, the son, to be like, I'm gonna tell our parents you're in the balloon.

[Dana Schwartz]

Prank by the kids.

[Lizzie Logan]

Prank by the kids.

[Dana Schwartz]

That is. That would be a hoax.

[Lizzie Logan]

That would be a hoax. But also, like, I don't know. I would forgive a child much more easily than I would forgive the parent.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

Number three, it was sort of that hybrid version of it where it was supposed to be, like, a little hoax that accidentally turned into a big hoax. And number four is just that they fully did a hoax.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

Dana, what do we think?

[Dana Schwartz]

I think it was a little hoax that turned into a big hoax. I think they wanted publicity for a reality show or for whatever they wanted, or they were in talks with the wife, swap people for a reality show, and they Knew the same way that now it's like, if you want a book deal, you have to have a lot of Instagram followers. They were like, you know what would help us get a reality show is, like, some news coverage. And it's like, wouldn't it be kind of not wholesome, but, like, you know, you can picture the story that's like, oh, the boy was in the balloon. And then, like, we found him. And if it was within a shorter time span, people wouldn't have taken it as seriously. It's like, because it was ours that it became such a big deal. So that is very, very plausible to me. And I kind of 100% think that's what happened.

[Lizzie Logan]

That is usually where I come down as well. This is my big, like, galaxy brain take is that it almost doesn't matter. I think what really doomed them is the perception that they're not very good parents.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

And I think that's true.

[Dana Schwartz]

Well, you think that they're not very. A not very good parent.

[Lizzie Logan]

I think that, like, they were negligent.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yes.

[Lizzie Logan]

Not every parent whose kid has some sort of misadventure is bad, but I think that they were negligent. I don't think they were apologetic, humble, and embarrassed enough. I think that's what really doomed them to the public. I think if you have scientific equipment in your backyard, you should have a fence around it. You should have a conversation with your kids. If you have tanks of helium and a balloon, I think it's not enough to say, oh, we forgot to tether it.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

I think you need to be really on that. I think you need to be the parents in the situation and don't let your son play inside the balloon. I think that the perception was that they put adventure, fame, and fun over the safety and wellness of their family or their responsibility to the community. And whether or not it was a.

[Dana Schwartz]

Hoax, like, that is true a hundred percent. And whether or not it was a hoax, they put their child in date. They used their children as props.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yes.

[Dana Schwartz]

For their, I don't know, fantasies of reality television. They were negligent parents.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yes. And. And I will say, like, I don't think that they're like, horrible, abusive people. Like, I'm not going so far as to say, like, take their kids away.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

But just like, yeah, they seem like they kind of sucked that day. And I also think, like, you know, we're laughing, etc. Etc. But, like, don't lie about kids.

[Dana Schwartz]

No. And don't use your. Don't use your kids.

[Lizzie Logan]

Don't use your kids. Don't lie about kids. Say that your wife is in the balloon. Say that your dog is in the balloon. Don't lie about kids. Do you know the movie A Cry in the Dark?

[Dana Schwartz]

No.

[Lizzie Logan]

So this is. It's a Meryl Streep movie. It's based on a true story. It's where the line, a dingo ate my baby comes from. This woman went to prison. I think she got out because again, you know, you turn away for two seconds every parent's nightmare. Her baby disappeared while she and her husband were camping in the Australian outback. And her defense was, I think a dingo snatched him and the whole world was like, no, you murdered your baby.

[Dana Schwartz]

Oh, my God. This is like my nightmare. Because imagine how horrible it would be, right? I'm gonna cry.

[Lizzie Logan]

A, she's lost her baby. I'm sorry, I don't wanna make you cry. A, she's lost her baby. B, now the whole world hates her. There is some evidence that maybe a dingo really did eat that lady's baby.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

So it's like this is what happens when you boy who cried wolf about kids is that then when something really awful does happen to a kid, people turn on the parents when maybe they shouldn't be turning on the parents. Because people like the balloon boy parents have made society question, you know, like.

[Dana Schwartz]

I mean, our news media system is broken. The way that things become, quote unquote, viral, and the things that get the attention of the public are these sort of like junk food bites where no one is able to pay attention to, like, the boring, important news that matters. And I think that they hijacked that in a way that is. I mean, you could be like, they're just using the system. But it is incredibly cynical. It is incredibly damaging. And then I think using children is kind of unforgivable in that way.

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah, I mean, again, that's just my thing. Like pretend an adult's in the balloon and I don't care. But I would also babies.

[Dana Schwartz]

I also think, like, I think a lot of hoaxes are like fun and flim flam and like, the, you know, I think the cottingley fairies is all good fun for some reason. The how cynically they were just trying to exploit media attention really rubs me the wrong way because I think that our attention span is so precious. And the way that, like, people respond to news and news media and how short our attention span is and how it seems like the Internet can kind of only focus on one thing at once. The people Exploiting and manipulating that with falsehoods, especially right now, feels troubling. I mean, the good news is the boy is fine. He was never in a balloon.

[Lizzie Logan]

He is fine. I, you know, I looked through his Instagram. Like, he seems pretty well adjusted. Like, you know, I loathe as I.

[Dana Schwartz]

Am to give these people any more attention. I want to be like, would you make a movie of this? And I actually do think, like, a movie about the truth of Balloon Boy. And, like, the cynical parents, like, exploiting the situation. Is it real? Is it fake? In a sort of last duel situation would be a good movie. I mean, yeah, it's interesting.

[Lizzie Logan]

I almost want it to be like a play.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yes.

[Lizzie Logan]

Like, the parents just freaking out and being unable to call off the search, but also unable to find their kid is like a good absurdist premise.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yes. See, you went for the comedy of, like, the absurdist. Funny thing of, like, the parents who are in too deep. Yeah. And I'm like, I want, like, the moral ambiguity. Like, we don't know what actually happened. Multiple points of view.

[Lizzie Logan]

Only the balloon knows.

[Dana Schwartz]

Only the. And they have the. They have. They got custody of the balloon.

[Lizzie Logan]

They got the balloon back. It stopped being evidence. They have the balloon back. Yeah. We interrupt this program for a breaking news bulletin. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. In between us recording the Balloon boy episode and the balloon boy episode's premiere, Netflix released a Balloon Boy documentary.

[Dana Schwartz]

And so it's like, part of their. They do, like, a series on things, right?

[Lizzie Logan]

Yeah. A series on things, indeed.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Logan]

It's called Train Wreck, and it was Trainwreck. Balloon Boy. I watched it. It contains, I think, basically zero new information, but I did watch it. And so it is part of the ongoing Heaney family fame lore.

[Dana Schwartz]

Did it? Was it not? I wasn't going to say flattering to them.

[Lizzie Logan]

No, 100%, it is flattering to them. It is their point of view.

[Dana Schwartz]

Oh, okay. So you think they're happy that they got this Netflix?

[Lizzie Logan]

I totally understand why they did it. I think it is their attempt to put their point of view out there and to have, like, to me, it was like, you know, there's been sort of a reevaluation of a lot of these, like, tabloid cases of, like, Monica Lewinsky had a reevaluation, and like, Paris Hilton had a reevaluation, like, Britney Spears had a reevaluation. And I think probably. I don't know if they approached Netflix or Netflix approached them, but they had the opportunity to sort of like set the record straight and like give their point of view and they are very believable in their talking head interviews. They come across very level headed and the boys are grown up and come across like well spoken adults. And so I totally understand why they did it. And they don't seem like fame hungry monsters who are still trying to capitalize off their 15 minutes. Like, I totally get why they did it, but is there any new information that like makes it clear once and for all that we should believe them? No. Do they explain why they invented that little condiment machine? No. It honestly, like, it just seems like stupid versus stupid. Like play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Like the fact, the fact that just that they want us to believe that he was in the attic above the garage and that the parents searched the whole house and then the cops searched the whole house and neither the parents nor the cops found this six year old boy. I'm like, then you're both idiots.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah, like, it's not, it's an unfortunate story that like makes me sad just based on everything. Like, as we were describing, I watched a movie where a child was in danger and I just started openly weeping in the theater even though the child was not in real danger. Like the Balloon Boy story just makes me sad for everyone. And I think it's really scary to believe that your kid might be in danger. That's it. I don't, I don't, I still don't believe them.

[Lizzie Logan]

It also, like there is one point at which the producers or the documentarians push back on what Richard is saying and he does get flustered. And so I don't know, I guess it's worth watching for that. It's like a little under an hour. It's maybe worth watching for that one moment. And they have a lot of the family home movies. I think if you have listened to this point in the episode, you don't need to watch Trainwreck Balloon Boy because you have all of the information and more. We did a lot of digging for. We here at Hoax do a lot of journalism, but yeah, you can go watch it. And we just wanted to record a little addendum to say that the, the ongoing saga of this family being in the news did not end in, you know, whatever year. We just ended this. We recorded the bulk of this episode a while ago. So I actually don't remember where the story ended. It, it ended mere weeks ago with Trainwreck Balloon Boy on Netflix. Oh, and Richard did say one interesting thing in the documentary, which is we couldn't afford cable. So I was in the dark as to what was going on, which is that he says that he had no idea that they were becoming a cable news story while the balloon was in the air because they couldn't afford cable. And I'm like, well, who gives a shit? You thought your son was dying, so who gives a shit if you could afford cable or not? Like that would be the last thing on my mind is what the news coverage was.

[Dana Schwartz]

Yeah. Well, Lizzie, this was delight. Thank you for sharing the story with me.

[Lizzie Logan]

I had so much fun looking this up and just blowing my mind open every 20 minutes.

[Dana Schwartz]

And now I know what I'm going.

[Lizzie Logan]

To get you for your birthday is a big balloon.

[Dana Schwartz]

It's a your shakedown for your apartment. Finally, all your condiments.

[Lizzie Logan]

Thank you. I need to get the peanut butter out of the bottom of my peanut butter.

[Dana Schwartz]

Think about the money we'll both save.

[Lizzie Logan]

I'm so excited. Dana, thank you for being here and to our listeners.

[Dana Schwartz]

You know, don't Hoax, don't don't hoax. Hoax responsibly, please.

[Lizzie Logan]

Hoax responsibly. Bye. Hoax is a production of I Heart Podcasts. Our hosts are Dana Schwartz and Lizzie Logan. Our executive producers are Matt Frederick and Trevor Young with supervising producer Reema El Kayali and producers Noams Griffin and Jesse Funk. Our theme music was composed by Le Elaine Montgomery. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks for listening. Every day has a to do list.

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[Lizzie Logan]

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