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Nobody Should Believe Me
S05 Ep01: Sophie Saves Zambia
00:45:02
We begin the season by delving into Sophie Hartman’s 2016 memoir about her time in Zambia, Crowns of Beauty, where we learn about how a young woman from Michigan came to be the adopted mother of two Zambian girls by the age of 25.
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- [00:04]
Andrea Dunlop
True Story Media before we begin, a quick warning that in this show we discuss child abuse and this content may be difficult for some listeners. If you or anyone you know is a victim or survivor of medical child abuse, Please go to munchausensupport.com to connect with professionals who can help. There is a family in Renton that I want to introduce you two. Mom Sophie went on an inspiring trip to Zambia in her college years. She's since adopted two girls. One of them has an incredibly rare disorder. Doctors say it's a one in a million chance. The audio you just heard is from a news story that aired on King 5 television back in May of 2019. This story wasn't on my radar, but I had a lot going on back then. I had just had a baby and had a new book coming out. And this was around the time that Munchausen by Proxy was really entering my work life. The month that this story aired, I'd done my very first interview about my own family story for Vanity Fair, and this was followed by an appearance on a local station about my third novel. We came here to forget this was all taking place amid the second investigation into my sister for Munchausen by Proxy abuse of her children. By the middle of that summer, the courts would return my sister's children to her, and a few months after that, the prosecuting attorney would make the decision not to file charges against my sister, Megan Carter, despite the horrifying and voluminous evidence against her. But back to Sophie. In general, seeing stories about sick kids in the news is upsetting for a bunch of reasons. So family friends are banding together. They're trying to raise money, and this is something that is, you know, no little ask. We're talking about like $60,000 for a vehicle for them. So we just wanted to put their positive energy out there. Of course, there are the particular fears and questions that I bring to it, given my experience with my sister. Is this mom telling the truth? What if this child isn't a victim of a rare disease, but a victim of the person purporting to care for them? Even when there are no red flags for abuse, which is mostly the case, these stories are pretty dystopian because they illuminate a tragic failing of our country's healthcare system. The horrible reality that families, many of whom I'm sure would prefer to keep their children's health private, are forced into a situation where they have to perform their trauma publicly in the hopes that kind strangers might step in to relieve the skyrocketing medical bills that could otherwise bankrupt their family. So while I usually avoid these types of stories in my day to day life, once I did see this news report, right away I noticed that Sophie was positioning herself as the only, only one who saw what was happening with her child. I started noticing just kind of weird things or times where her body would just feel really different. Like it would either be super, super tight or like really limp. Doctors visits filled the first few years of life, and right away they found pretty significant brain damage. And so she was diagnosed with CP at the end of 2015. This is like a sandwich. But Sophie quickly realized was experiencing something much more concerning. Complaining to the neurologist, saying, like, she's having seizures. So they would bring her in for an EEG and it was nothing. They're like, no, we don't see anything. Maybe she is. Here's the walls. Sophie admits she started to question her own instincts. There'd be times where she was like, literally totally paralyzed. And I go to her doctors and be like, I know she's walking right now, but like, she was literally paralyzed all day yesterday. And they'd be like, no, that's not possible. And like, but like, she couldn't move, like I'm telling you. And they're like, okay, but she can now. And I'm like, right, I know. But after seeking a second opinion and running through genetic testing, she also has one on the ATP1A3 gene, which is associated with a disorder called alternating hemiplegia of child childhood, which is a extremely rare one in a million genetic disorder. And she's right. It affects one in one million children. It is progressive and has no cure. Wow. Lord, you took me up to the fullest extent on what I told you I was willing to do. This piece on the evening news ended up being the first chapter in what would become a major national news story. This is rare for Munchausen by proxy cases, which usually garner little national coverage outside of the truly sensationalized stories like Gypsy Rose Blanchard and Maya Kowalski. But there were many elements of this story that caught people's attention. For one, there were the optics. Sophie, who is young, white, blonde and conventionally pretty, had adopted two children, sisters from a faraway nation. I went to Zambia after my freshman year of college on a month long mission trip. And when I was there, I just encountered the plight of an orphan. Which one is in the hand? Adoption wasn't on my radar at all. In the televised segment, there are images from Sophie's life with her two adorable girls interspersed with footage from the interview and B roll of Sophie's younger daughter, who we're referring to as Cee, who is smiley and cheerfully dressed in the family's kitchen. At one point, as the two play a game together, Sophie sitting beside her daughter's wheelchair, the little girl says this at all, oh, I don't want to get a poke. I'm so scared. It would be easy to miss this blip in the audio, but the little girl is saying, I don't want to get a poke. I'm so scared. This moment is odd because they're not in a medical setting and there's no medical equipment nearby. To most, this might be a throwaway moment, but for me, it's a harbinger of how this seemingly inspiring story of a mother who'd moved heaven and earth to help two Orph became this so this is Detective Werwerk with the Renton Police Department. Today's date is March 17, 2021. It is approximately 8:03 hours.
- [06:16]
Sophie Hartman
And then.
- [06:16]
Andrea Dunlop
Can you just state your name for me? Sophie Hartman. In 2019, KING 5 first met Sophie Hartman after she adopted two sisters from Zambia. She told us one has a rare neurological disorder called alternating hemiplegia of Childhood or AHC. At the time, Hartman set up a GoFundMe page to raise money for a wheelchair vehicle. Today she faces second degree assault charges against a child, her own daughter. This is not based off of one investigator. It's not based off of a quick investigation. This was months of investigation by police and several experts who weighed in. Kent county prosecutors are accusing Hartman of subjecting her daughter to medically unnecessary surgical procedures and restraints. Records say the girl underwent more than 474 medical appointments since 2016 when the Sophie Hartman case broke. It was the typical litany of eye popping numbers of doctor's visits and procedures that her daughter had to endure. But this season we're diving into the complicated, many layered story of Sophie Hartman, a white evangelical woman from a small town in Michigan who traveled thousands of miles to Zambia and returned with two vulnerable little girls. People believe their eyes. That's something that is so central to this topic because we do believe the people that we love when they're telling us something. If we didn't, you could never make it through your day. I'm Andrea Dunlop and this is Nobody should believe me. Well, friends, it's 2025. It's here. This year is going to be. Well, one thing it won't be is boring. And that's about the only prediction I'm going to make right now. But one piece of news that I am excited to share is that the wait for my new book, the Mother Next Door is almost over. It is coming at you on February 4th from St. Martin's Press. So soon. I co authored this book with friend and beloved contributor of this show, Detective Mike Weber, about three of the most impactful cases of his career. Even if you are one of the OG est of OG listeners to this show, I promise you are going to learn so many new and shocking details about the three cases we cover. We just go into so much more depth on these stories and you're also going to learn a ton about Mike's story. Now I know y'all love Detective Mike because he gets his very own fan mail here at Nobody Should Believe Me. And if you've ever wondered how did Mike become the detective when it came to Munchausen by proxy cases, you are going to learn all about his origin story in this book. And I know we've got many audiobook listeners out there, so I am very excited to share with you. The audiobook is read by me, Andrea Dunlop, your humble narrator of this very show. I really loved getting to read this book and I'm so excited to share this with you. If you are able to pre order the book, doing so will really help us out. It will signal to our publisher that there is excitement about the book and it will also give us a shot at that all important bestseller list. And of course, if that's simply not in the budget right now, we get it. Books are not cheap. Library sales are also extremely important for books, so putting in a request at your local library is another way that you can help. So you can pre order the book right now in all formats at the link in our show notes. And if you are in Seattle or Fort Worth, Mike and I are doing live events the week of launch, which you can also find more information about at the link in our show notes. These events will be free to attend, but please do RSVP so that we can plan accordingly. See you out there. This episode is brought to you by Amazon. Sometimes the most painful part of getting sick is the getting better part. Waiting on hold for an appointment. Sitting in crowded waiting rooms.
- [10:04]
Chad Golder Sojourner
Standing in line at the pharmacy.
- [10:06]
Andrea Dunlop
That's painful. Amazon One Medical and Amazon Pharmacy remove.
- [10:09]
Chad Golder Sojourner
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- [10:11]
Andrea Dunlop
Things like 247 virtual visits and prescriptions delivered to your door thanks to Amazon.
- [10:16]
Chad Golder Sojourner
Pharmacy and Amazon One Medical.
- [10:18]
Andrea Dunlop
Medical healthcare just got less painful. If you'd like to support the show, the best way to do that is to subscribe on Apple Podcasts or on Patreon. You get all episodes early and ad free, along with extended cuts and deleted scenes from the season. You also get two exclusive bonus episodes every month. And for the first time ever, we have the entire season ready for you to binge right now on the subscriber feed. That's right, you can listen to every episode of season five right this minute if you subscribe to the show. And as always, if monetary support is not an option for you right now, rating and reviewing the show wherever you listen also helps us a great deal. And if there's someone you feel needs to hear this show, please do share it with them. Word of mouth is so important for independent podcasts. For even more, you can also find us on YouTube where we have every episode as well as bonus video content. Figuring out where to start with these cases can be a challenge and going in I always know that hearing from the person at the center of it is probably unlikely. However, in this instance we had a pretty compelling source document because Sophie wrote.
- [11:36]
Sophie Hartman
A memoir the strong ache in my stomach that felt like homesickness was for another country, a land where children ran freely and dust filled every crevice. A place so different and foreign, yet one where heaven met earth more clearly than I had ever seen before.
- [11:54]
Andrea Dunlop
That was an Excerpt from Sophie Hartman's 2016 self published memoir entitled Crowns of Beauty. The book offers her first person account of her time in Zambia and her journey to adopt her two daughters. Sophie's younger daughter, who we're referring to as C and Sophie's older daughter, who we're referring to as Mr. The COVID is a moody professional photo of Sophie carrying her youngest on her hip and holding her older daughter by the hand. Born in 1989, Sophie Hartman grew up in a small town outside of Kalamazoo, Michigan. From what I've been able to glean about her childhood, she appears to have had a fairly normal upper middle class life. I've spoken to some folks on background who know the family and they told me that they were well off and well respected in town. The whole family was also very active in the church and according to Sophie's memoir, she began her devout relationship with God at the age of 14 during a Christian summer camp. Sophie was a talented athlete and played basketball and soccer growing up and after graduation went on to college. And then, according to her book, a summer mission trip prompted her to leave school about two and a half years early, changing the course of her life.
- [13:01]
Sophie Hartman
Scenic Kafui screams of a divine artist's touch, one that faithfully brings forth beauty each day within moments of setting foot on the soil. That day in 2008, draped behind the fierce beauty of Kafue's landscape, I witnessed the torments of everyday life by the people who called this compound home. I saw malnourished children ply their way through sewage drains, chewing on plastic bags, and my heart burned in my chest. Filthy, unclothed babies crawling alone in the middle of the street caught me completely off guard, their desperate empty eyes gazing lifelessly back at mine. The dramatic and contrasting reality that was present every day in Kafui devastated me, and I've never been the same. But maybe I had been missing something. Maybe beauty could always be found in places long thought to be dark, and maybe beauty could still surface in places of utter darkness. That is, if someone was willing to fight for it.
- [14:04]
Andrea Dunlop
Sophie appears to have been in and out of Zambia from roughly 2008 to 2015, but the details of where she was and with whom are obscured in her memoir. In fact, everything about her time there is obscured, as she notes to the reader that she's changed the names of not only the people who appear in the book, but even many of the towns that she lived in and traveled to. I can certainly understand changing the names of people to protect their privacy, but the lengths she goes to to hide the details of her life there are somewhat extraordinary given that this is a memoir. Notably, in her acknowledgments, which appear in the opening pages of the book, she thanks a large number of Americans by name. But given that the memoir is focused on her time in another country, her words of thanks to the folks in Zambia are strikingly different.
- [14:50]
Sophie Hartman
My big Zambian family, you have changed my life forever. Thank you for not just being eager, but ecstatic about this book. And thank you for letting me tell those stories. I'm so grateful we'll get to be together in the age to come. I look forward to amazing chocolates and the biggest pillow fights forever. You are beautiful to me.
- [15:14]
Andrea Dunlop
And that is it. I've written acknowledgments of my own for five books now, and especially on the first one, you name just literally every person ever. Like the barista who got your coffee while you were writing in the morning. Your third grade teacher, your dog walker. If these Zambian friends were so ecstatic about the book, why aren't we thanking any of them by name? The book is largely focused on her time abroad, and we're given scant details of Sophie's life before in Michigan. In fact, we mostly hear about how much resistance she encountered for a decision to go to Zambia.
- [15:50]
Sophie Hartman
A believer very near to me aggressively questioned my decision. What do you know about helping people in Africa? And how do you think you can handle all the poverty and the horrible situations when you have never experienced that you will not be safe. And all I'll be able to say when you come home is I told you so.
- [16:10]
Andrea Dunlop
And look, I can imagine that Sophie's parents were probably a bit dismayed at the idea of their daughter dropping out of college to move to Zambia. However, an idealistic college kid heading out to save the world is so common it's a cliche. We all know the guy who goes on to be an accountant but never shuts up about his time in the Peace Corps, but Sophie's description of the town's reaction to her decision elevates her to the status of martyr.
- [16:37]
Sophie Hartman
Images of leaving my upper class education and culture and stepping into the dusty lives of children deemed filth triggered thoughts of a scripture passage I had read time and time again. Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves. For the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly. Defend the rights of the poor and needy. Proverbs 31:8 9.
- [17:02]
Andrea Dunlop
In the beginning sections of the book we also hear from Sophie's little sister Sam, who contributes journal entries describing the change she sees in her sister I saw Sophie walking through a towering doorway, given away by her bright blonde hair and beaming smooth smile. She rolled two large suitcases behind her and she was wrapped in colorful Zambian fabric. I clung to Sophie's right side the entire ride, wide eyed and in awe of my big sister who looked like an African princess. After her initial trip, Sophie returned less than a year later and at 19 started interning for an orphan sponsorship ministry. And that was where Sophie would find her true calling. Foreign I genuinely could not be more excited to tell you about our next sponsor because I am obsessed with this brand. I had already done some holiday shopping for other people on quints because I had heard so much about their iconic Mongolian cashmere sweaters. I got one for my husband and I got a Quint's gift card for my daughter's teacher, so I was thrilled when they came on as a sponsor and I got to shop for myself. I picked up one of their cashmere hoodies and one of their beautiful cashmere pullovers. They are my new favorite things and I also got one of their washable silk tees which I can tell is just going to be a go to for me. I am at a stage in my life where I want my clothing to be simple and classic and I want it to be nice. So basically I don't want to shop anywhere else now. Quince is all about everyday luxury at an affordable price. They are famous for their Mongolian cashmere sweaters which start under $50. They've got Italian leather handbags, European linen sheet sets and 14 karat gold jewelry and all quint items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They are able to do that by partnering directly with top factories and cutting out the cost of the middleman, passing the savings on to you. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices so you can feel good about shopping there. I genuinely cannot recommend this brand more. I am going to be out and about on tour this year and friends you're going to see me in my quints. So treat yourself this winter without the luxury price tag. Go to quints.com believe for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q U I n c e.com believe to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com believe and remember that shopping our sponsors is a great way to support the show. Our house has two working parents, a six year old, a two and a half year old and zero time. And you know what is my least favorite part of parenting? Trying to get my kids to eat anything other than junk. So I am so glad that I discovered Thrive Market to help me get some decent nutrition into my little snack monsters. Thrive Market makes it so easy to find better options without the hassle. They have this cool feature called the Healthy Swaps Scanner in the Thrive Market app where you can scan any item and it will instantly suggest cleaner, healthier alternatives. This is how I discovered their Snack Mates sticks which I got in the chicken and maple flavor. I got these for my kids but honestly I have been chomping on them too. They are so delicious. I also found out that Thrive Market sells Sahali snacks. These are my husband's favorite thing ever and for some reason we can never find them anywhere. So I felt like a dang hero when I brought him these. Another thing I love is Thrive Market's Smart Cart feature. When you create your account, Thrive Market asks questions and automatically builds a grocery cart tailored to your needs filled with healthier alternatives to your favorite brands. From there you can adjust, add or remove items before checking out. Easy peasy. Ready for a junk free start to 2025. Head to thrivemarket.com nobody and get 30% off your first order plus a free $60 gift. That's T H R I V E market.com nobody thrivemarket.com nobody and remember that shopping our sponsors helps support the show.
- [21:14]
Sophie Hartman
He has called me to Zambia. I was there and then he told me he wants me to move there. I'm still in college but I'm leaving soon. He's called me to be a mother in this nation. He's called me to serve these children and to be a voice for those who have no voice. It's crazy. Most of my friends and family are trying to stop me from going, but I can't say no. I love Jesus. I love him. I love him. Oh I love him.
- [21:46]
Andrea Dunlop
Reading this book was a disorienting experience. Given the context a young white evangelical setting out to, quote, save the people of Zambia. I was expecting the writing to be a bit problematic, but it was also settling in for what might at very least be an interesting fish out of water story of someone leaving everything they've ever known. And I didn't know anything about Zambia, so I was looking forward to hearing the little details about day to day life. You notice so much when you're in a new place. It's what makes traveling abroad so thrilling. Suddenly everything from the food to the fashion to the local shopping habits and modes of transportation are new and fascinating. I was also quite curious to know what a 20 year old college kid even does when they land in Zambia. And after reading the nearly 200 pages of this memoir, I learned none of that. Reading this book was the beginning of an experience that I continue to have as I try to get a handle on Sophie's story. It's like the closer I get to it, the more it pixelates. It's like trying to see through layers of smoke only to discover more smoke. Sophie's primary descriptor of Zambia is that it's, quote, dusty and basically just kind of hellish.
- [22:57]
Sophie Hartman
Walking through the streets of shanty Zambian compounds does something to me. These compounds are slums, squalid, densely populated areas where poverty and disease are rampant. Whether I return home with mud between my toes because of the rains, with dust in every crevice during the dry season, or with soiled clothes because of a mixture of urine and diarrhea from all my little friends, something unexplainable happens. My heart is moved every time, and something in the depths of me yearns.
- [23:29]
Andrea Dunlop
For Jesus because of the obfuscation of many of the exact locations. I can't say for sure whether Sophie really encountered this much dust, but certainly the whole country is not dusty. Zambia is a developing country, but to reduce the nation to scenes of crushing poverty and desperately maltreated children, as Sophie does in this book, is unfair and inaccurate. Zambia is one of the most urbanized countries in Sub Saharan Africa. In 2008, when Sophie first arrived there, Zambia would have still been reeling from the global economic crisis, but they'd also undergone about a decade of economic growth and export diversification. Progress was being made in education, lowering maternal and child mortality rates, and tackling the HIV AIDS epidemic. But there isn't much nuance to Sophie's descriptions of Zambia. The picture she paints is evocative of those Sally Struthers commercials from the 90s. For about $0.70, you can buy a can of soda, regular or diet in Ethiopia. For just 70 cents a day, you can feed a childlike Jamal nourished, refreshing meal. Since 1938, Christian Children's Fund has helped children of many faiths and their communities with food, medical care, clothing, a chance to go to school, or whatever is needed most. Today, so many children around the world still need your help, and through Christian.
- [24:52]
Sophie Hartman
Children's Fund, you can reach out to one of them by sharing, well, just.
- [24:56]
Andrea Dunlop
A little of your pocket change. It takes so little for you to.
- [25:00]
Sophie Hartman
Become a special friend to a child in a developing country, but, boy, the good it can do is worth more than you can imagine.
- [25:10]
Andrea Dunlop
So while there certainly is poverty in Zambia, much like in most places, Sophie's descriptions feel troubling. Now, it's hard to say on its face whether the problem here is that Sofie just needs to take a few more creative writing workshops, or if this is evidence of something deeper. But I just couldn't get over how the people she was with and the place she was in just never came into focus. Much more vivid than her descriptions of life in Zambia were Sophie's internal experiences, mostly talking to God. These were numerous and florid, occasionally veering into downright romantic passages like this will.
- [25:47]
Sophie Hartman
Find that I have loved you, Lord, I have loved you hard and with abandonment. My eyes are on you, locked in, I'm gazing. You will find me fully and wholly in love with you. I will drink this cup, this double agony, this double grief, this searing pain, this deep anger and this hatred of injustice because of them. And I will love you wholly as I drink this cup, Sowing in tears, sowing in tears, sewing in tears.
- [26:24]
Andrea Dunlop
In her memoir and when she speaks to the media about her daughters. Sophie refers to the two young girls she brought home from Zambia as orphans, and there's an important cultural nuance here in the United States, when we say orphan, we usually take this to mean a child whose parents are dead. However, because of the differences in family structure, the word orphan has a pretty different context in Zambia. According to Zambian journalist Glory Machingi, children become orphaned when they lose their parents. But parents are not seen as the only primary caregivers in a Zambian family. Zambians embrace the extended family system, so the adults that we would refer to as aunts and uncles are also considered parental figures and often referred to as mom and dad as well, especially in traditional village settings. Similarly, cousins are referred to as sisters and brothers, etc. So when someone loses their parents and can't live on their own, the other adults in the family automatically take over custody of that quote orphan. In a few circumstances where families are too poor or too abusive, the orphans will be taken to an orphanage where they will remain until they are able to be reunited with family, or in cases where that's not possible, come of age and go out on their own. So while in the US we may think of an orphanage as a place where abandoned children await adoption, orphanages in Zambia can serve as more of what we think of as a foster home for children. Because of the vagueness and frankly, the strangeness of Sophie's writing, it's hard to get a grasp on what she was doing day to day in Zambia prior to meeting and adopting her older daughter. M. Largely, it seems that she was in the business of saving souls. There's a lot of talk about saving women and children and being a mother to them, but the particulars aren't clear, other than various mentions of proselytizing and Bible study and occasional mentions of meetings with various healthcare providers. And Sophie doesn't appear to have any specialized training. However, as well demonstrated by the book, she sure does seem to know a lot of scripture. There's a lot about Jesus in this book. I would say at least a third of the text is Sophie in rapturous conversation with him. Now, as for any of the earthly men she encounters in her time in Zambia, Sophie has nothing good to report.
- [28:41]
Sophie Hartman
One afternoon in late 2010, I was walking home through the compound where I lived, dialoguing with Jesus about my day. Drunken men directed profanities at me as I passed a tavern, but simultaneously my eyes fixed on three little girls playing in the dirt just a few feet in front of them. Their soiled dresses barely covered their bottoms, making it obvious that they wore no undergarments. My heart burned and adrenaline shot through my veins as I recalled that three days earlier a young child was severely raped in an alley nearby. A fire rose within me as I recalled another very complex sexual assault case in which three precious young girls confessed that they had agreed to give themselves to a man for a gift, which turned out to be a single lollipop for the three of them to share.
- [29:36]
Andrea Dunlop
Now, sadly, sexual assault is both pervasive and universal, and unfortunately, it has not been possible to corroborate or disprove any of the anecdotes Sophie shares in her book. The story she tells here could be true, but her descriptions of the people in Zambia, particularly but not exclusively, the men, often paints them as cruel and violent.
- [29:58]
Sophie Hartman
The transition from my southwest Michigan normal to my new Zambian compound normal was tough. It was now normal to cry myself to sleep every night, to be fondled and grabbed by men throughout the day, and to encounter severely abused women and children. It was also normal to hear heinous sexual comments by drunken men. It was normal to have bruises and sore limbs from being dragged into an alleyway, to be threatened with stoning and being thrown in fire while fighting, to rescue children, and to be harassed and followed by individuals with legions of unrestrained demons possessing them. It was normal to hold babies who had been dumped in sewers, to feed children whose bellies and bottoms were being eaten away by worms, and to listen to little girls replay the abusive events of the night prior.
- [30:54]
Andrea Dunlop
And while we don't get any sense of the daily details like meals or dress, the passages about the suffering of the children she encounters are vivid and gruesome. The book positions Sophie as both a martyr and a savior, helping various women and children at great, great risk to herself. And while Sophie talks a lot about Jesus, she also paints herself very much as a Christlike figure. Her story culminates with the adoption of her two daughters, C and M, following a lengthy battle with the Zambian government, who, according to her, fought her every step of the way. Sophie was under 25 at the time, which made it against Zambian law for her to adopt children. She was also less than 21 years older than M, her eldest daughter, which went against a separate legal requirement. However, the adoptions did eventually go through, with M. In 2014 when she was 5, and with C. The baby when she was less than a year old. In 2015.
- [31:53]
Sophie Hartman
One day after I had completed my primary responsibilities, I was prompted by the Holy Spirit to visit a crisis orphanage. I had been there only once before, and since then I had repeatedly asked Jesus for another opportunity to go. I declared under my breath that because Jesus made it clear in the Bible that visiting the orphan was true religion, I knew that more would happen during my time at the orphanage than would meet my eye. I walked in and there she was. As she wiggled beneath three blankets, I could start to make out her tiny frame. It was obvious just by her face though, that malnourishment had left her entire body skeletal. Her body came to a rest as I drew her near. I looked down. Gazing into her eyes. I couldn't help but stare at such beauty. She pulls her little fist close to her face and she rubs her tired eyes. I've never seen something so precious. My hand supports her damp bottom. The smell of urine meets my nose as the most fragrant glory.
- [33:06]
Andrea Dunlop
Oh, such a clutch off season Pickup Dave I was worried we'd bring back the same team. I meant those Blackout motorized shades lines.com made it crazy affordable to replace our old blinds. Hard to install? No, it's easy. I installed these and then got some from my mom. She talked to a design consultant for free and scheduled a professional measure Install hall of Fame son. They're the number one online retailer of custom window coverings in the world. Blinds.com is the goat. Go to blinds.com for 40% off site wide blinds.com rules and restrictions may apply. Be honest When's the last time you had a homemade meal? We get it between meetings, workout classes, and the kids after school sports. Who's got time to cook? That's where HelloFresh comes in. No matter how busy you get, HelloFresh has everything you need to get an easy home cooked meal on the table. With flavor packed recipes like Parmesan Herb Crusted Salmon, you'll be filling your kitchen with the cozy aromas of a homemade meal in no time. So go ahead, try HelloFresh. It's homemade made easy. Learn more@hellofresh.com every other case I've covered on this show has concerned parents and their biological children, so I wanted to better understand the nuances of the adoptions in this case and get some insight into the girl's experience. To help us understand the process and complexities of transracial adoption, we sat down with Chad Golder Sojourner, a Seattle based writer, educator and performer who counsels families and organizations on this topic. What do you think is the biggest kind of misconception or set of misconceptions about transracial adoption in particular when you're talking about like a white family adopting black children.
- [34:47]
Chad Golder Sojourner
So I think so I think one of the misconceptions is that the white parent knows more. Think about that way. We have this weird way about adoption, especially transracial adoptee, is this narrative that the adoptee should be grateful. Some home is better than no home. How dare you not be grateful in this? I remember the whole, was it the Sally Struthers ads with the kids and the flies and all that, even that mentality. And the fact is that's not right, you know, and the fact is that you have to put in more energy and time. So one thing I did when I did consulting is that somebody's going to be uncomfortable. It's just how life is. And if the parent is not feeling uncomfortable, you can assume that the child is uncomfortable. For transracial adoptees, especially with adopting black kids, is you have to prepare them to enter into the world they're going to live in.
- [35:52]
Andrea Dunlop
I have a two year old and a six year old and I really see my job as a parent to prepare my kids for the world that they live in. And this is hard enough as it is. So I can only imagine what an uphill battle it would be if you had such a difference in your lived experience to what you know that your children's will be. So it's really important to me to note that neither Chad nor myself is against adoption, transracial or otherwise. Families come to be in all kinds of different and often beautiful ways, and families are always complicated. It's also true that there are some additional layers of complexity when adoption comes into the picture. And as I know from talking to friends who've adopted, including our season two family, the Wayburns, it's just a lot to navigate. As Chad explained, there is always the risk that children in these situations will come to be seen as commodities, and consideration for them and their birth parents isn't always top of mind. Sadly, in the worst case scenario, adoption can be seen as a marketplace. For example, prospective parents can flock to states that allow shorter windows of time for birthing parents to change their mind. And when you add international borders into the discussion, children are also at an increased risk of being fundamentally and profoundly disconnected from their homeland.
- [37:09]
Chad Golder Sojourner
I think one reason that people benefit from international adoptions is because it's harder for you cut the kid away. So there's no three days, you can't take them back. You know, it's less likely this kid's going to be taken from, right?
- [37:29]
Andrea Dunlop
So this Family. You know, it is a transracial adoption. It's a white mother of two black daughters. And it's also an international adoption that is a faith based adoption that took place in the context of this woman when she was quite young going to Zambia to do missionary work and then eventually returning to the States with these two girls. So can you help us kind of understand these, these different sort of complications that come around with these things?
- [37:54]
Chad Golder Sojourner
Well, so first of all, as somebody who's been running with Jesus since the Carter administration, I would tell you that God will Never tell an 18 year old to go 6,000 miles to get a child. Okay? He might then go down to the soup kitchen, go mow the guy's lawn. So I think the problem with international adoption for a couple reasons is you have no idea. First of all, you don't know what you're going to get. And I don't mean that you're going to a place where you don't know local currency. You can't spell, you can't find it on a map. I can't play. I'm not saying I'm. But I'm not going to Zambia to get a kid. There's all these different things, you know, nothing with history. And you want to take a kid and remove them. Just erase that part, which is very bold and brash. It just seems like who, like where, like where is that biblical? You know, the Bible talks about God helps the widows and orphans. He doesn't like talking about just removing them.
- [38:55]
Andrea Dunlop
Missionary work itself is very fraught territory. It's mostly young white kids going to countries that have often been destabilized due to long histories of colonialism and foreign conflict. And as Chad pointed out, Sophie's traveling to Zambia to take two girls home was probably not the most efficient or economical way to help out.
- [39:16]
Chad Golder Sojourner
I mean, being the plane fares, all the money that they. All the stuff that goes into these questions, like why it goes back to why. My other concern about transracial international adoptions is I just think that kids should be able to put their feet on the soil. So my thing is, are you taking the kid back? When are they going back? Because it's all interesting. Oh, we can afford it. Well, you afforded it the first time, you know, you went to Ethiopia to get the kid, but now you can never afford to go back. So I think, I mean, I don't want to seem just totally disparaging about it, but I think there's a lot of stuff there that still doesn't make sense. I Think when you look at this whole concept. I don't want to use the word white nationalism the way we all think, but there is the this is white savior complex.
- [40:11]
Andrea Dunlop
This is the troubling vein running through Sophie's book. It's the grandiosity of thinking that Zambia is a problem and it's one that she's equipped to solve.
- [40:21]
Sophie Hartman
A fierce fire started to burn in me with the knowledge that I had been born to fight for justice. The core of my God given personality combined with the circumstances of my life had given me a unique skill set that seemed particularly valuable in Zambia's darkest compounds.
- [40:38]
Andrea Dunlop
And the two kids that Sophie ends up adopting are not the only kids that she tries to save from Zambia. She attempted to adopt twins before she successfully adopted her older daughter, Em. She also describes many other instances in her book where she's saving kids in a different way.
- [40:57]
Sophie Hartman
I took a few steps in Espina's direction. She immediately retreated backward and began shouting, almost barking. In that moment, I became certain that she was under a demonic influence. And I immediately felt a generous boldness to share the gospel. Completely unhindered, I began to share the gospel from Genesis to Revelation. Espina was now seated with intense anger across her face. I calmly approached her and gently placed my right hand on her head. She pulled away, falling down in the dirt. And immediately I could tell that the little girl in inside her was held captive by darkness. I got down in the dirt beside her and proclaimed freedom over her. I could hear her calling out, jesus, Jesus. And then suddenly she would stop. I made no retreat and simply continued to declare freedom in Jesus name. Espina thrashed around on the ground for quite a while, sometimes extending her hands up to the sky, but kicking up a dust storm, she. She screamed as if her entire body was chained. And I stood in agreement with Jesus as he ordered the demons to let go.
- [42:03]
Andrea Dunlop
I don't want to be dismissive of anyone's beliefs, but also what? While the religious piece of Sophie's perspective feels pretty foreign to me as an agnostic, and we're going to bring in an expert to help us unpack those parts of the story, the positioning of Sophie as both a martyr and a savior feels extremely familiar to me, as does the book's fixation on crisis and suffering. So much is glossed over in the book, but the scenes like this one where Sophie is heroically saving children feel downright cinematic. So as we move away from Sophie's account of her origin story and the adoptions go through for both C and M, in 2015, this brings us back into the real world, a world where Sophie is now a single mother of two. And after leaving Zambia, she doesn't choose to head home to Michigan, where her family and friends live, where her childhood church congregation is, or where her entire support system appears to reside. She moves to Seattle, where I live. This season on Nobody Should Play. If she wasn't guilty of these allegations, if she was not doing what this search warrant was alleging, you know, how horrific. I mean, she seems like a saint. She would start to talk about money.
- [43:28]
Sophie Hartman
And how, you know, she doesn't have.
- [43:30]
Andrea Dunlop
Any money and she needs fundraisers and all this stuff. But her daughter is in one of the most expensive sports, and I believe the church raised about round $30,000, something like that. I'd gone through a very traumatic experience having her children taken away, and we as Haven Church got the opportunity to support her and hold her up with our prayers. But from my observations, she's like the healthiest kid I ever seen in my life. Would eat as much as we'd feed her. But given the fact that her digestive system is so messed up, my daughter has to regulate that.
- [44:10]
Sophie Hartman
I had a hard time imagining being.
- [44:12]
Andrea Dunlop
A parent and.
- [44:15]
Sophie Hartman
Making videos of those.
- [44:17]
Andrea Dunlop
Kinds of things for my kid.
- [44:19]
Sophie Hartman
Did you ever witness having what Sophie calls one of her episodes?
- [44:25]
Andrea Dunlop
I did not. She allegedly had this journal entry that talked about how she had an issue with lying. Every time I go in to the doctor, she wouldn't be exhibiting those symptoms. I'm like, I know this sounds crazy, but I'm not making this up. This is not. This is not. Yeah, well, you're the mom. Yeah. Would it surprise you if I told you that AHC is not a terminal disease? Yes, it would.
- [44:49]
Chad Golder Sojourner
So I think that all of the.
- [44:50]
Andrea Dunlop
Signs and symptoms are here for, like, it's obviously a concern that she's pushing this child towards death. Nobody Should Believe Me is written, hosted, and executive produced by me, Andrea Dunlop. Our senior producer is Mariah Gossett. Story editing by Nicole Hill. Research and fact checking by Erin Ajayi, and our associate producer is Greta Stromquist. Mixing and engineering by Robin Edgar. Book passages were performed by Ilana Michelle Rubin. Special thanks this week to Chad Goeller, Sojourner Glory Machingi, Francisco Alvarado, who originally covered this story for the Daily Beast and the many people who spoke to us on background. If you or anyone you know is a victim or survivor of medical child abuse, please go to munchausensupport.com to connect with professionals who can help.
- [45:51]
Chad Golder Sojourner
SA.