Podcast Summary

Podcast: Noche de Pendejadas with Alannized
Episode: Jackie Calderon Talk All: Toxic Childhood, Speaking Up, Pregnancy, Motherhood, CHISME & MORE!!
Date: January 9, 2026
Host: Alannized
Guest: Jackie Calderon

Episode Overview

This deeply personal episode features TikTok creator Jackie Calderon in an open, honest conversation with Alannized (Alan). Jackie unpacks her Mexican-American upbringing, living through a toxic home environment, and surviving family trauma. The episode spotlights her journey through healing, motherhood, and her viral success as a content creator. With characteristic Spanglish warmth and a balance of lighthearted and heavy moments, listeners gain insight into Jackie’s resilience, wisdom, and humor. The episode also includes reflections on generational cycles, candid “chisme” (gossip) about influencer life, and fun moments discussing viral content and motherhood mishaps.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jackie’s Upbringing & Toxic Childhood

Jackie shares stories from her early years as the eldest daughter of immigrant parents. (03:22)

• She describes herself as an initially “loud, talkative, and bubbly child,” becoming more reserved due to familial circumstances.
• Her dad was a dedicated provider; her mom was a stay-at-home caregiver.
• Jackie notes emotional needs being secondary: "They didn't really focus on, like, the emotional parts... My parents have never really loved each other in a way. Maybe they just stayed together because they had kids." (05:41)

Generational Trauma
Jackie discusses being caught in the middle of constant parental conflict, especially as the “emotionally available” older sibling:

“My dad would often ask me, like, ‘Who do you think is right?’ And I’m just there like, I’m a kid, like ten. Why are you putting me [in the middle]?” (06:16)

• Realization of abnormality came from seeing other families: "I'd see their parents, like, hugging each other... and I'm like, my parents don't do that." (08:27)
• These experiences lowered her expectations in relationships and set her up for toxic dynamics later:

“I just thought, oh, this is normal. This is how all relationships are.” (09:37)

Coping & Breaking the Cycle
Jackie admits lingering struggles with emotional regulation:

“I hold all of my problems in...there’s a point where I just break and lash out.” (11:46)
She’s now consciously working to break this cycle for her own daughter.

Advice to Listeners in Similar Homes:

“Just take it one step at a time…So, when you have your own family, you’re going to be able to like set the right example.” (14:37)

2. Surviving Family Sexual Assault & Speaking Out

Jackie bravely recounts childhood sexual abuse by a related family member.

• Occurred at age 12. She was manipulated into silence:

“Ever since that happened, I didn’t say anything for three years...He told me, 'Don’t tell anyone or I’m going to do it to somebody else.'” (16:53)

• The trauma haunted her birthdays (they shared the day) and daily life:

“For a couple of years, I just hated my birthday.” (18:40)

• Sought solace in secrecy, struggling with guilt, self-disgust, and the fear her family would not believe her.

Disclosure & Aftermath

• First told her boyfriend at age 15 at a park. The boyfriend, concerned, told his mom, which led to a mandatory report to CPS and police involvement.
• Unexpectedly summoned by police at school:

“I’m like, okay, I didn’t commit a crime. Why is there police officers here?” (22:13)

• Telling her mother was the hardest part:

“I was just thinking the whole time, like, I’m her baby, you know... like, I felt so bad.” (24:49)

• Family split reactions: Her mother's support contrasted with disbelief and hostility from other relatives:

"His sisters came to my house, and they like, were yelling at me...They’re like, 'You’re such a liar...You’re trying to get something out of it.'" (26:56)

• Therapy helped Jackie realize, "It’s not your fault." (29:02)
• She describes therapy’s role in reducing anxiety and restoring her trust in herself and others. (29:34)

Empowering Message to Survivors:

“If you’re able to and you have the courage to, you should speak up...if you speak up, you'll get the help that you need and you can heal." (31:28)

Healing Insight:
Jackie now finds comfort in seeing others share their stories. She’s considered sharing publicly but fears internet backlash. (32:13)

3. School, Education & Finding Her Path

High School & College Life

• Jackie was known but not “popular”—seen as the friendly “try-hard” who liked English. (33:26)

“When the teacher forgets to collect the homework…I’d be like, here's my homework.” (33:59)

• College was motivated by her father’s dream; she majored in Business Administration (original intent: psychology). (35:24)

“Honestly, I didn't really want to go college...but I was like, maybe I can make his dream come true.” (35:24)

• She juggled work (Planet Fitness) and studies, picking easy professors via RateMyProfessor. (36:28)

Graduation

• Felt proud to walk the stage magna cum laude, despite one troublesome B:

“The only reason why I didn’t get the highest honors was because there was one class where I got a B.” (37:48)

4. Pregnancy, Motherhood & Transformation

Discovering Pregnancy & Reactions

• Jackie’s pregnancy was a surprise—her period was never late, but “that 1%” of IUD failure happened:

“Of course it is. Clearly, that 1% is a big 1%.” (39:34)

• Filmed her reaction for TikTok as a joke, and was genuinely shocked when it was real. (40:01-40:24)

Pregnancy Experience

• Morning sickness, aversions (could only eat fruit; pickles became a favorite), body changes (“either I look pregnant or I look fat to people”). (41:11; 42:07)
• Gained 30 pounds, struggled post-partum to return to pre-baby size but is now comfortable. (42:36)

Birth & New Motherhood

• Induced by walking, birth at 38 weeks, smooth labor:

“My birth was pretty smooth... I was in labor for a total of 12 hours, but I only pushed for 10 minutes.” (44:50)

• Strong bond felt immediately:

“When they pulled her out, that’s when I was like, I’m a mother.” (45:20)

• Grateful for post-partum support:

"If I ever needed a break, like, either [grandparent] would come and watch the baby...I feel like that really helped me not feel lonely." (47:29)

Motherhood Meaning & Changes

“Motherhood is like the most beautiful thing ever... I love being a mom. It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” (53:08)

• Jackie laughs about toddler tantrums, baby-proofing, her daughter’s snacks, and little language milestones. (49:18-52:10)
• She’s grateful for “the village” that supports her, especially her mom.
• Not planning for more children soon; wants to give her daughter all her attention. (51:08)

5. Social Media, Content Creation, and Dealing with “Chisme”

Starting Out

• Began content creation during quarantine, making meme and trolling videos, quickly gaining a following. (54:31)
• Playful “ships” with other creators (e.g., Lalo)—clarifies rumors they were never a real thing. (55:33)

Handling Hate & Rumors

“I can turn off my phone and like, you’re gone. Like I don’t even know who you are.” (57:14)
Hurtful comments on her body post-pregnancy sometimes get to her, wishing she could explain:
“I had a kid...I can’t like explain myself…Those are the comments that get me a little bit mad.” (57:26)

She’s also addressed viral misinterpretations, like accusations of being “envy-osa” (envious) or two-faced on streams (58:17).

Branding & Business Aspirations

• Social media enables her to work from home and be present for her daughter. She aspires to more brand deals and launching her own faja (shapewear) line:

“I want to, like, start selling my own fajas or something.” (59:13)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On being forced to choose sides in parental fights:
  “My dad would often ask me, ‘Who do you think is right?’ And I’m just there like, I’m a kid, like ten. Why are you putting me [in the middle]?” (06:16)
• On seeking love in relationships:
  “It really, like, put the expectations super low because I didn’t realize, like, how a man should be treating a woman.” (09:14)
• On enduring and healing from abuse:
  “As more family members started finding out about this, everybody was against me...A lot of my family members, they kind of turned their backs on us.” (28:17)
• Advice to survivors:
  “If you’re able to and you have the courage to, you should speak up...you’ll get the help that you need and you can heal." (31:28)
• On pregnancy surprises:
  “Of course it is. Clearly, that 1% is a big 1%.” (39:34)
• On body confidence post-partum:
  “There was a moment where I was like, either I look pregnant or I look fat to people.” (42:07)
• On online hate:
  “I can turn off my phone and like, you’re gone. I don’t even know who you are.” (57:14)
• On motherhood:
  “Motherhood is like the most beautiful thing ever...I love being a mom. It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” (53:08)

Key Timestamps

• Toxic Upbringing and Childhood: 03:22–14:37
• Recounting Family Sexual Assault: 15:38–33:03
• Education, College, and Finding Her Path: 33:11–38:21
• Pregnancy and Motherhood: 38:21–53:36
• Content Creation and Social Media Experiences: 54:05–59:31

Tone & Language

The conversation flows in authentic Spanglish, moving easily from heavy, emotional topics to moments of humor and candor. Alan’s supportive, teasing style is met by Jackie’s honest, sometimes shy, sometimes hilariously blunt responses.

Conclusion

This episode of Noche de Pendejadas is an intimate portrait of generational cycles, survival, and resilience. Through real chisme and “never have I ever” vibes, Jackie’s story stands as both caution and inspiration for listeners navigating difficult families, trauma recovery, and the chaos of young parenthood—influencer-style.