Podcast Summary: Ep 209: Finding the Courage to Say No
Title: Nonprofits Are Messy: Lessons in Leadership | Fundraising | Board Development | Communications
Host: Joan Gary
Guest: Glenda Testone, CEO of the Nonprofit Leadership Lab
Release Date: August 17, 2024
Introduction
In Episode 209 of Nonprofits Are Messy, host Joan Gary engages in a candid conversation with her colleague Glenda Testone about a pervasive challenge faced by nonprofit leaders: the struggle to say no. Both Joan and Glenda draw from their extensive experiences in the nonprofit sector to explore why saying no is difficult, the consequences of overcommitment, and effective strategies to navigate these dilemmas.
The Challenge of Saying No for Nonprofit Leaders
Joan opens the discussion by highlighting the inherent passion and commitment of nonprofit leaders. "Nonprofit leaders are strong and fierce most of the time. Except when they're not," she asserts (00:00). Glenda concurs, identifying the core issue: the reluctance to disappoint those who rely on them. "People rely on us, and we like that. And that means we don't want to disappoint people," Glenda explains (03:43).
Category Discussions
The conversation delves into four main categories where the difficulty of saying no manifests: Programs, Staff, Donors, and Board Members. Each category is explored through real-life anecdotes and strategic insights.
1. Programs
Glenda shares her experience with the Lesbian Cancer Initiative, a program that served a specific subset of the LGBT community. After losing funding from the Susan G. Komen Foundation, Glenda grappled with the decision to discontinue the program despite its meaningful impact on a small group. "We strung it out too long... supporting this program with no funding, and it wasn't great for anyone during that time," she reflects (09:18).
Key Insight: Glenda emphasizes the importance of timely decision-making. "I think I would have moved more quickly... the kinder thing to do would have been to admit that more quickly, not waste anyone's time, and move to transition participants," she advises (14:14).
2. Staff
Joan narrates a common scenario where an internal candidate undermines a new executive director, creating a toxic work environment. She coaches her clients to assess the "worst thing that could happen if you keep saying yes" versus "if you say no." "What's the worst thing that happens if you say no?" she challenges (16:27).
Key Insight: Evaluating both potential outcomes empowers leaders to make informed decisions. Joan underscores the responsibility of ensuring donor dollars are invested wisely, reinforcing that tough decisions ultimately protect the organization’s integrity (17:57).
3. Donors
Glenda discusses the complexities of dealing with donors who make well-intentioned but challenging requests, such as hosting fundraisers at their homes. She illustrates how such requests can lead to unforeseen burdens on staff and question the return on investment. "Everyone... it's not going to be the donor, it's going to be you or it's going to be a staff member. It's going to be work," she explains (18:33).
Strategy Highlight: Glenda introduces the concept of an inventory of stories—building a repository of past experiences to bolster confidence and credibility when negotiating with donors. "It builds your confidence and your list of... credibility," she states (22:24).
4. Board Members
When donors are also board members, power dynamics intensify. Glenda shares strategies for handling such situations, emphasizing the importance of data and evidence in advocating for or against certain initiatives. "If you give that one more ticket, how is this going to impact Brian?" she questions (31:35).
Key Insight: Building a factual basis through past experiences allows leaders to respectfully decline requests that do not align with the organization's objectives. This approach fosters transparency and maintains trust (24:43).
Strategies to Overcome the Pleaser Personality
Throughout the episode, Joan and Glenda propose several actionable strategies to help nonprofit leaders assertively say no without compromising relationships or mission integrity.
1. Preemptive Strike
Anticipating common requests allows leaders to establish clear guidelines upfront. Glenda shares how her organization designated specific criteria for complimentary tickets to events, making it easier to decline additional requests without confrontation (40:08).
2. Can You Look Me in the Eye Sniff Test
Joan introduces a practical exercise for leaders: envision a major donor scrutinizing every decision. "Could you look me in the eye at that meeting?" she asks, urging leaders to assess whether their choices align with the organization's mission and sustainability (37:57).
3. Building an Inventory of Stories
Documenting past decisions and their outcomes provides a robust framework for justifying future no's. Glenda highlights how this inventory enhances credibility and supports informed decision-making (22:24).
4. Team Consultation
Engaging the leadership team in decision-making processes ensures collective support and diverse perspectives. Both Joan and Glenda emphasize that leaders do not have to make decisions in isolation, reinforcing the importance of collaborative governance (33:15).
5. Focusing on the North Star
Maintaining a steadfast commitment to the organization's mission acts as a guiding principle when facing difficult choices. Glenda shares a poignant example where honoring a true community member aligned with the mission, despite opposition, underscoring the necessity of prioritizing core values (30:10).
Key Takeaways
- Timely Decision-Making: Leaders must avoid prolonged periods of indecision that can strain resources and morale.
- Clear Criteria: Establishing guidelines in advance helps manage expectations and simplifies the process of saying no.
- Documentation and Evidence: Keeping detailed records of past decisions fortifies leaders' positions when advocating for or against initiatives.
- Collaborative Governance: Leveraging the expertise and support of the leadership team fosters a more balanced and effective decision-making process.
- Mission-Centric Focus: Prioritizing the organization's mission ensures that all decisions contribute to long-term goals and community impact.
Conclusion
Joan Gary and Glenda Testone conclude the episode by reaffirming the necessity for nonprofit leaders to embrace their role as fierce advocates for their missions. By implementing the discussed strategies, leaders can navigate the complexities of saying no, thereby safeguarding their organizations and the communities they serve. "You have to really be good at saying no... because you're advocating... for your community," Glenda emphasizes (44:23). Joan echoes this sentiment, encouraging leaders to remember their initial passion and commitment as they make tough but essential decisions (48:10).
Notable Quotes
- Joan Gary (00:00): "Nonprofit leaders are strong and fierce most of the time. Except when they're not."
- Glenda Testone (03:43): "People rely on us, and we like that. And that means we don't want to disappoint people."
- Glenda Testone (14:14): "The kinder thing to do would have been to admit that more quickly, not waste anyone's time, and move to transition participants."
- Joan Gary (16:27): "What's the worst thing that happens if you say no?"
- Glenda Testone (22:24): "It builds your confidence and your list of like. It builds your credibility."
- Glenda Testone (30:10): "We need to put this... we can't forget that."
- Glenda Testone (44:23): "It is really critical."
- Joan Gary (37:57): "Could you look me in the eye at that meeting?"
Timestamp Navigation
- Introduction: 00:00
- The Challenge of Saying No: 03:43
- Programs Category: 09:18
- Staff Category: 16:27
- Donors Category: 18:33
- Board Members Category: 21:05
- Strategies Discussion: 22:24
- Key Takeaways: 38:20
- Conclusion: 48:10
- Notable Quotes: Scattered throughout
Final Thoughts
This episode serves as a crucial resource for nonprofit leaders striving to balance generosity with organizational sustainability. By acknowledging the difficulty of saying no and equipping themselves with practical strategies, leaders can enhance their effectiveness and ensure their organizations continue to thrive in fulfilling their missions.
For more insights and resources, visit joengarry.com and nonprofitleadershiplab.com/podcast.