Podcast Summary: Normal Gossip — Bonus Episode: Try Hard with Erika Casupanan

Podcast: Normal Gossip
Episode: Bonus Episode: Try Hard with Erika Casupanan
Guest: Erika Casupanan (Winner, Survivor 41; Host, Happy to See Me podcast) Host: Alex Sujong Laughlin (of Try Hard podcast, cross-featured) Date: September 17, 2025

Episode Overview

In this special crossover episode, Normal Gossip’s Rachelle Hampton introduces an episode of “Try Hard,” the new podcast by Normal Gossip creator Alex Sujong Laughlin. The feature centers on Erika Casupanan, Survivor 41 winner and podcast host, taking on the challenge of conquering her fear of singing in public. Centered around self-expression, vulnerability, and facing fears, the episode tracks Erika’s personal journey from childhood dreams of stardom to the vulnerability of karaoke in adulthood, culminating in her empowering performance at a lesbian bar.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

The Longing to Be Seen

• External Validation and “Try-Hard” Energy
  Alex: Opens with reflections on how external approval often motivates us to attempt new things. “External validation is delicious and maybe even a little addictive, I’ll admit it. But when you’re a try hard like me, the desire to be good at something… can hold you back from trying new things.” (02:43)

• Erika’s Childhood Aspiration
  Erika: Describes her childhood dream of becoming “a rock star”:
  “I always thought I needed to be a rock star. And then… in the church choir… I would describe myself as an extremely mediocre member of the choir... I never really got to have a solo.” (07:26)

• Desire for Validation and Fear of Rejection
  Erika: Reflects on not being chosen for a lead role in her school musical:
  “I sang ‘No More Drama’ by Mary J. Blige … And then I didn’t get, like, what I consider a real part... So this was a thing I thought I could do, and I feel like the realism of not getting chosen has affected me.” (12:32)

Navigating Adulthood & the “Try Hard” Mentality

• Growing up & High Achiever Mindset
  Erika: “I did a lot of things growing up that suggested a lot of confidence… but as I got older… there are so many things I was doing to meet certain expectations.” (13:51)
  She recalls taking secret singing lessons as a young adult, only to give them up due to limited finances.

• Embracing Authenticity and Change
  Erika recounts cutting her hair and dyeing it purple as an act of self-ownership:
  “I kept it because everybody told me that they liked my hair... And then I added purple streaks to my hair and just... I could just do the thing I always wanted to do and it was totally fine.” (15:51)

Vulnerability after Fame

• Post-Survivor Public Anxiety
  Erika admits that since Survivor, she feels constantly “perceived,” leading to new anxieties about public singing:
  “I haven’t done public karaoke since winning Survivor because I no longer felt like I was an anonymous person... I was always potentially being perceived.” (27:31–29:36)
  She describes being worried someone would record her karaoke and post it online.

• Intersection of Identity and Performance
  Coming out and joining Toronto’s queer community, Erika linked her anxiety to performing in public queer spaces:
  “For some reason, like, the combo of karaoke, lesbian bar really freaked me out... How can I go up in front of the lesbians and sing when I still am feeling like this?” (31:00)

Attempting to Conquer Karaoke

• Five Weeks of Lessons
  Erika jumps into singing lessons with little hesitation but soon feels overwhelmed:
  “I did five weeks of singing lessons... the first lesson... only sang for two minutes. How am I supposed to be ready in five weeks?” (25:33)
  She describes the lessons as challenging—“overwhelming… a lot that’s beyond what I learned before.” (25:33)

• Progress and Finding Her Old Teacher After some struggle, Erika begins to build confidence, especially after reconnecting with her first singing teacher—who is now also out and performs in a queer country band:
  “She was like, ‘When you had come in 10 years ago, you were, like, trying to figure out what you wanted to do… Now... you’ve grown into the person that you always wanted to be.’” (35:42)

• Choosing the Song: “Someone Like You” by Adele
  Erika picks the same song she was working on years ago for a sense of closure and challenge.
  “What an opportunity for me to go back and finally close the loop and actually finish working on that song.” (32:33)

Challenge Day: Karaoke at the Lesbian Bar

• Preparation, Jitters, and Announcing Herself
  Erika describes nervous energy, inviting friends, and telling the bar in advance. She addresses the crowd:
  “Yeah, I’m working on this other project... been taking singing lessons... my goal is to be able to sing in front of all of you on the first day of Pride Month.” (39:03)

• Setting Boundaries on Filming
  Erika explicitly asks the crowd not to film her—the host affirms the space as safe and consent-based:
  “‘This is a safe space and nobody should be filming anybody without their explicit consent.’” (39:45)

• The Performance and Aftermath
  Erika perseveres through nerves—
  “As I’m singing, the bar just gets quieter and quieter... And there were parts that I was really nervous about... but at the end, the bar was mostly quiet... And then just the next person goes up and sings... I had built this up to be the scariest moment in my head. And I was like, wait, that was totally fine. Everyone moved on. Everyone is good.” (40:20–41:52)
  Erika is surprised by the warmth and support of the crowd, and later duets “Breaking Free” from High School Musical with a friend.

• Reflections and Next Steps
  Erika is pleased with her progress and the experience:
  “I did better than I expected. I exceeded my own expectations. And even when I went back and I listened to it again, I thought that, wow, I sounded better than I expected.” (44:00)
  She’s now open to more karaoke and possibly additional lessons:
  “It’s back on the table, which is really nice.” (44:57)

Broader Themes and Takeaways

• Connection > Perfection
  Alex: Reflects on Erika’s lessons:
  “Perfection impresses people, but imperfection drives connection. I love that so much...” (45:30)
  She concludes that trying, especially in community spaces, is ultimately about forging new connections—not about flawlessness.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Childhood Aspirations:
  “I always thought I needed to be a rock star… I just always thought I needed to be a rock star.”
  — Erika (07:26)

• On School Disappointment:
  “So this was a thing I thought I could do, and I feel like the realism of not getting chosen has affected me…nothing stings quite like the first one.”
  — Erika (12:32)

• On External Perception Post-Survivor:
  “I think that I…became really conscious of who saw me. And then I also created this fear in my head that if I was to ever do public karaoke, then someone would, like, recognize me from Survivor and film a video of me and post it on TikTok.”
  — Erika (29:36)

• On Growth and Authenticity:
  “I realized it was actually the best to be singing at Three Dollar Bill with all of the lesbians. And honestly, if anyone is in Toronto, I highly recommend, if you’re a Sapphic, go there for karaoke because it was the best.”
  — Erika (43:17)

• On Connection over Perfection:
  “Perfection impresses people, and imperfection is what drives connection.”
  — Advice Erika received before her performance (37:26)

• Final Reflective Note:
  “Perfection impresses people, but imperfection drives connection.”
  — Alex (45:30)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Introduction & Episode Premise: 06:41
• Erika’s Musical Childhood & Choir Memories: 07:12–08:39
• Fear of Visibility & Impact of Fame: 27:31–30:42
• Queer Community Barriers & Karaoke Challenge: 31:00–33:13
• Singing Lesson Journey: 24:07–27:31
• Reconnecting with Old Teacher: 34:51–35:41
• Challenge Day—Performance & Aftermath: 36:20–44:00
• Reflections and Takeaways: 44:00–45:30

Episode Tone and Style

The conversation is warm, funny, self-effacing, and encouraging. Erika’s storytelling is open and relatable, blending humor about past embarrassments with thoughtful insight into fame, queer identity, and the joys and terrors of putting oneself out there. Alex maintains a supportive, enthusiastic tone, celebrating effort, vulnerability, and connection.

For Listeners/Newcomers

This episode is a joyous, honest look at confronting old fears and insecurities—about singing, being seen, and shaking off perfectionist paralysis. Whether or not you know Erika from Survivor or are part of the queer community, her journey to the karaoke stage is a hopeful encouragement to try hard, support each other, and let go of perfection in favor of real connection.