I'M THE OTHER WOMAN!?!? 😱 I STILL LOVE HIM!! 😭 | NOT LOVELINE Ep 66

Summary

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Not Loveline Episode 66 Summary

“I’M THE OTHER WOMAN!?!? 😱 I STILL LOVE HIM!! 😭” | April 20, 2026

Hosts: Tana Mongeau & Trisha Paytas
Theme: Candid, unfiltered advice and stories about love, breakups, betrayal, and healing—with listener call-ins fueling honest conversation.

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Episode Overview

This episode of Not Loveline is all about breakups, heartbreak, moving on, confronting “the other woman” dilemma, generational trauma, and the comfort of nostalgia. Tana and Trisha—self-described experienced but far-from-expert “advice givers”—share personal stories, answer listener calls, banter about history trivia, and dive deeply into the vulnerabilities of love and self-worth.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Warm-Up Banter, History & Trivia (00:34–15:31)

• High School Dropouts & Knowledge Gaps: Both hosts drop truth bombs about their unconventional education and knowledge gaps.
  • Tana: “I didn’t go to school until my senior year. ... I end up graduating.” (02:35)
  • Trisha: “I also dropped out at my sophomore year of high school.” (02:34)
• Unabashed Ignorance & Pop Culture Connections: Tana and Trisha admit to confusing basic U.S. history, such as presidents and inventors (“Was Thomas Jefferson the president or the guy that did the light bulb?” – 06:32), but celebrate learning through musicals like Hamilton and memes.
• Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?: They quiz each other on trivia about U.S. anthem lyrics, Supreme Court justices, and more, often getting it wrong but making self-effacing jokes.
  • Trisha: “102 bones. ... Mind you, I probably have maybe with all the mounjaro, I definitely have 102 bones left.” (12:23)
  • Tana: “I knew it. But you’re so fast. Your brain is so fast today. Mine’s a little... my wig was on. I had to pop it off.” (12:01)

2. Call #1: How to Get Over a Good Guy Breakup (16:05–24:43)

Caller: Recently broken up with, still in love, but the guy was honest—no future.

• Trisha: “The bar is in hell to the point where you want to give the man the flowers for at least just being perfectly honest. ... But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.” (19:11)
• Core advice: Give yourself time to mourn the person and the future you imagined; avoid blaming yourself; don’t jump into something toxic; understand that healing isn’t linear.
  • Trisha: “Sometimes you need to mourn the idea of the future that you had and give yourself grace.” (19:20)
  • Tana: “What’s meant for you won’t miss you. ... Nothing could deter me from Moses at this point because he is just giving me so much love.” (23:12, 25:03)
• Key Insight: The best relationships are mutual. Seek someone who loves you as much as you love them.
  • Trisha: “The number one thing that you should be looking for in a partner is someone who loves you as much as you love them.” (23:29)

3. Call #2: Parental Abandonment & Motherhood (28:41–34:53)

Caller: Pregnant, estranged from mother, coping with abandonment.

• Tana: "I always talk about my relationship with my parents as kind of an unfillable void... The second I recognized this void is always going to be here, but I don't have to try to fill it with alcohol or sex or drugs or toxic relationships." (29:57)
• Supportive Advice: Become the mom you wish you had, form a chosen family, seek support groups or mentors, recognize the ongoing void but focus on fulfilling other parts of life and breaking generational cycles.
  • Trisha: “You probably made that decision with your future child in mind, which is already showing that you are going to be so fulfilled in knowing that you are going to be the type of mom that shows up.” (29:57)
  • Tana: "Be the mom you wish you had." (32:16)

4. Tangents: Thrifting & Nostalgia (36:11–48:57)

• Bonding over thrift finds: The thrill of finding unique vintage items, love for Barbie, Elvis, and the importance of collecting memories over buying mass-market goods.
  • Trisha: “I replace drinking with thrifting. No question. It's an addiction though. ... The dopamine of the good find.” (42:06)
• Decor talk: Critiquing influencer-favorite “farmhouse” styles versus “homes with character” and the joys of collecting personal, mismatched home goods.

5. Call #3: Pretty Little Liars Fashion (49:11–51:05)

Caller: Did you dress like Pretty Little Liars after watching?

• Spoiler for Tana: She never watched it.
• Trisha reminisces on her obsession, expensive ugly shoes, and how tastes change with money and age:
  • “I walked through life thinking I was Allison De Laurentiis...” (49:57)
  • “You don’t understand for a long time... Now, I really have garnered a specific taste.”

6. Call #4: What to Do When You Find You’re “The Other Woman” (56:33–61:58)

Caller: Dated a man for a year, discovered he had a girlfriend the whole time; advice?

• Trisha: “Sweetie, whatever you do, do not stay, okay? ... Tell the girl. So then you will sleep at night.” (57:12)
• Ethics & Empowerment: Tana advocates for holding cheaters accountable—whether via direct contact or, humorously, “expose” videos.
  • Tana: “Once I found out someone's a cheater, I was like, I'm making a video with their name in the title...” (60:22)
• Trisha: “You can't build a home on top of an insecure foundation.” (61:23)

7. Call #5: Struggling With No Contact Post-Breakup (62:02–66:48)

Caller: Can’t stop wanting to reach out post-breakup, how to stay strong?

• Trisha: “Sometimes we try to make closure and seek closure and force closure... The way that it is is your closure.” (62:48)
• Practical Tips: Treat breaking no contact like resisting a drug relapse, distract yourself, block/delete the number, seek validation from other sources if needed, and journal reasons for wanting contact.
  • Trisha: “In moments of wanting to break No Contact, you have to look at it as, like, a drug addiction... I’m not gonna relapse. I’m gonna go to Color Me Mine.” (64:04)
  • Tana: “Sometimes deleting the number helped me because I would just want to text.” (64:38)
  • Trisha: “There are definitely things in my life where I’m like, that could have been a shorter lesson... You could have learned the same lesson in three months that it took you two years.” (65:33)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Heartbreak:
  Trisha: “Sometimes a part of you literally does die with a person ... and there will always be that small version of yourself that ... has love for that person.” (20:41)

• On Relationships & Self-Worth:
  Trisha: “You will be someone's perfect future just as who you are. ... Healing isn’t linear.” (19:20)
  Tana: "What's meant for you won't miss you." (23:12)

• On Being the Other Woman:
  Trisha: “If someone's doing that in the beginning, at some point their eye could start wandering again, even if they don't ever cheat again... I would say nine times out of ten, you lose them how you got them.” (59:49)

• On Closure:
  Trisha: “Someone who couldn’t provide you with a relationship is sure not going to be able to provide you with closure.” (63:41)

• On Thrifting and Collecting:
  Trisha: "I replace drinking with thrifting. ... The dopamine of the good find." (42:06)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• History trivia, humor & education gaps: 00:34–15:31
• Caller 1: Breakup with a “good guy”: 16:05–24:43
• Caller 2: Parental abandonment & pregnancy: 28:41–34:53
• Thrifting, nostalgia & collecting: 36:11–48:57
• Caller 3: Pretty Little Liars fashion: 49:11–51:05
• Caller 4: The "other woman” scenario: 56:33–61:58
• Caller 5: Surviving no-contact: 62:02–66:48

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Tone, Language, & Takeaway

The tone is warm, unguarded, and often hilarious. Tana and Trisha blend real pain and wisdom with undeniable comedy and self-deprecation. The episode is comforting for anyone experiencing heartbreak, betrayal, or loss—offering genuine validation: you are not alone, the pain is real, and your future isn’t defined by this moment.

• Trisha: “Breakups are arguably some of the most important things we go through in life because you end up learning so much. ... You have to go through them.” (25:25)

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode is a treasure trove of real talk—if you’re struggling to move on, feeling lied to, or just navigating the mess and magic of love, Tana and Trisha offer laughter, validation, and a little tough love. Their advice: let yourself grieve, prioritize being loved back, don’t chase closure from someone who can’t give it, and remember—the right people will love all of you, and you’re building something even better with what you learn.

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Transcript

[Trisha Paytas]

Focus features in Blumhouse Obsession. When I have a crush on a

[Tana Mongeau]

guy no one knows.

[Trisha Paytas]

Be careful. I wish Nikki loved me more than anyone in the entire world. Who you wish for? Obsession is 96% fresh on rotten Tomatoes.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love you so, so, so, so much. It's blood soaked nightmare fuel.

[Trisha Paytas]

Brooke's blood you put on her.

[Tana Mongeau]

You have been warned.

[Trisha Paytas]

Obsession.

[Tana Mongeau]

Rated R under 17, animated without parent

[Trisha Paytas]

only theaters May 15 with special engagements in Dolby. I just. Well, I. I like commotion. And left like she knew I was cra. Well, she was.

[Tana Mongeau]

Was she there?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. Yes. So, like, it was all at once. I guess it was. I was dating someone and then he was pretending this girl was his assistant and cousin and then was also just dating her at the same time as me. The angels up in the clouds.

[Tana Mongeau]

What a song. What an anthem. Not our audience at all, by the way. I. I one time sing it at a concert, I think during, like, eras of Trish.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, you didn't.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. I was like, wait, watch this one. Because they love Addison. When I'm doing Addison, I'm like. I'm like. And I was like, wow. And I'm like, okay, here's this one. And it's like, that was so loud. And then everyone's just like, silent. No, the crossover's not there.

[Trisha Paytas]

What's moving to them, huh? What if it was, like, so moving.

[Tana Mongeau]

Nobody was.

[Trisha Paytas]

Nobody knew.

[Tana Mongeau]

What is this song? No, I swear. And I came back to just Christian. I was like, I'm really surprised. Like, they love Addison. I'm like, I'm. When I went to Alex, it's like the same hype house, same thing. He's like, no, it's like middle aged moms in Ohio that, like, that is fair.

[Trisha Paytas]

That is.

[Tana Mongeau]

Which is a big audience. Pentatonix has that audience. Like, it's a big audience. Not my audience. They were very like, the.

[Trisha Paytas]

I'm trying to think. I went to his last concert, and I'm trying to think about what I thought the demo was, but I just think I wasn't paying attention, so I'll shut up.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, you wouldn't. I wouldn't either. I thought, oh, they're gonna love this, Alex.

[Trisha Paytas]

I wasn't paying attention to the audience, but I also love that type of music. I'm very like, sad girl, low, low voice, like Lewis Capaldi esque. Make me cry.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay. Yeah. It's not. It's. It's not my dream. I was just trying to be cool. And then when I realized no one knew, I was like, no, Fame is a gun. I was like, okay. Like, okay. Not that. So I was like, they love. Yeah, they love that one. But anyways, really funny. We're doing a little history chat. We're into calls. We're into calls, but I think we need a five minute history. What Tana Mongeau knows from history. As a high school dropout, what did you learn before the age of. By the way, I was going to tell you two episodes ago. I also dropped out at my sophomore year of high school.

[Trisha Paytas]

What?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I didn't go to school until my senior year. And they kind of just put me back in there at 17, even though I missed two years of school because I was like home school, but I never did my work. And then my parents were like, you have to go back to school cuz you're not doing. Yeah, but.

[Trisha Paytas]

So you did graduate.

[Tana Mongeau]

I end up graduating.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, yeah, I've seen the photo of you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. I had to go to this, like, little town with like, literally 40 people. I'm like, you can just graduate here. And I was like, all right. And all I did my senior year was just take like, five gym classes. And like, you passed. But I had no math, nothing. So I'm at the same level as you. So I say that with all the love. Cuz two episodes we were talking about how you didn't grad, and I was like, I also dropped out, but I

[Trisha Paytas]

know I'd love to learn more. McCo is really good about. I don't know, sometimes he'll be on a tangent and like, in my head I'm like, I know I don't really care about rock formations or the presidents or history or science or biology or whatever, but he's so knowledgeable that I do, like, soak up a lot of it, which I appreciate. But then also, if you ask me any question ever right now, I would probably fail you.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, but we're gonna find out. Right now. I think history is great. Moses very good with world history and biblical history. He's very good at. And I was like, oh, now I know about Job. There's a new note. Oh, Walton Goggins is in a new movie about Job. You know Job from the Bible?

[Trisha Paytas]

I don't know about Job.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay, well, he's Old Testament. I think he's the one with the whale. Did he go into the whale's mouth? Job in the whale? Maybe not. Maybe it's a Job. Job has a book in the Bible I don't know about. I just asked Moses, but Walton Goggins Is playing job, apparently.

[Trisha Paytas]

Anyways, that was his denim robe. Would be a job.

[Tana Mongeau]

Jonah. Jonah and the whale. Who's job J O, B job in the Bible. Anyways, doesn't matter. We're doing history. We're doing president earlier.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. So we were just trying to name presidents.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like you were saying you didn't know the third president the United States or three presidents ago.

[Trisha Paytas]

I didn't know the third president. Like, I know the first. Essentially I was talking about like the anatomy of tucking for like, and how like different tapes that drag queens use. And I was like, mind you, I'm so knowledgeable on this. And then like, I don't know. I don't know the third president, you know?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, but that's more important.

[Trisha Paytas]

Do you know the first John Adams was the third president.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think John Adams was the second.

[Trisha Paytas]

Okay, what a name. John Adams.

[Tana Mongeau]

John Adams. Well that's from Hamilton where he's like, john Adams, sit down, you fat mother. Like that was the whole thing because he. He proceeded, I guess proceeded. Exceeded. He proceeded the first president, which was George Washington.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, I know that. I know that. George Washington.

[Tana Mongeau]

I didn't know before Hamilton. That's very impressive.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like he, he's like the star of Hamilton. Act one is George Washington. So you're just like, okay, we.

[Trisha Paytas]

And I would like weirdly enjoy going to like a George Washington museum. Like, show me those teeth.

[Tana Mongeau]

We need to do that. Or like going to like one of those revolutionary towns like in where George Washington grew up in like North Carolina and just like find his home and like doing those reenactments of like the Civil War.

[Trisha Paytas]

And this has nothing to do with what you just said, but also the Titanic.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. I'm in my Titanic era, for sure. There is one that's like a replica of it. I fall for AI where it's like you can go on the Titanic ride and like the water's like rising up. I'm like, oh my God, this is a crazy experience.

[Trisha Paytas]

Have you been saying, like, are you on like scary animatronics talk? No, like, I'm just like, weirdly like, I'll see that. Like rides, like, like just Jurassic park rides. And it's like so realistic, I don't think. I like animatronics.

[Tana Mongeau]

Animatronic ride. So you don't like, like Pirates of the Caribbean?

[Trisha Paytas]

Well, yeah, I don't really like rides at all, but I guess I just really don't like animatronics.

[Tana Mongeau]

It can be creepy, especially like when the lights are on or the Dolls in Small World never shut up. Never shut off. Like they always are going 24 hours. Like it never shuts off when someone's there.

[Trisha Paytas]

So it's like, imagine being that one worker inside, like at night, like trapped

[Tana Mongeau]

inside of it or something.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Just even having to like dust them off and they're like still going.

[Tana Mongeau]

They're still moving.

[Trisha Paytas]

Right.

[Tana Mongeau]

They have to be cleaned and. Yeah. Like manage, I suppose.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. And like, some worker probably has to ride that boat like dead alone.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh. Kind of cool, but also kind of scary. For sure.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm on the side of tick tock with the cheating fruit. Have you seen them?

[Trisha Paytas]

No. Oh.

[Tana Mongeau]

Anybody know? Okay. But there is a experience where you sit on an iceberg and it's like projection. So it looks like you're. The boat is sinking.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, very. The sphere. Like, like you feel like you're in it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. I wonder where that is. That would be fun to go left a tank. Do you know the third president?

[Trisha Paytas]

The third president, George Washington.

[Tana Mongeau]

John, that's pretty impressive that you knew those three.

[Trisha Paytas]

I do not know. Like Thomas Jefferson, was he ever a president or was he the guy that did the light bulb?

[Tana Mongeau]

He does seem like. Yeah, he ran against George Washington in the first.

[Trisha Paytas]

He's the third president.

[Caller]

Third president.

[Trisha Paytas]

Do you know?

[Tana Mongeau]

It's just. Wow. Wow.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, but when I tell you I was just guessing, like, full guess. I'm talking Vegas guess. Like, I didn't know.

[Tana Mongeau]

That was really good. Guys.

[Trisha Paytas]

Who am I confusing him with? Thomas Edison? Is Edison the, The ball? Okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, Thomas Edison did the light bulb. Like Edison Electric? Yeah, he did. I don't know much either, but I do know.

[Trisha Paytas]

Should you ask us, are you smarter than a fifth grader? Question.

[Tana Mongeau]

Those are so fun. Yes, I love those.

[Trisha Paytas]

I'm like, so, so, so, so, so down.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

Because I am actually not smarter than a fifth grader, and I know that.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I love that you're smart at

[Trisha Paytas]

one point in my life. Like in school when you're little, you learn all the. You learn all 50 presidents. Like, you learn and then if you just. If you don't use it, you lose it. Kids, welcome to Not Love Life, where we take calls and give advice.

[Tana Mongeau]

Do you know, do you know any of the capitals? Or do you like, you pretty good with those?

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, decent again? It's like one of those things where I definitely don't know all 50.

[Tana Mongeau]

What's Vegas?

[Trisha Paytas]

Nevada's Carson City.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, see, I would have guessed. Like, I don't know.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, he's my capital. Let me tell you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Something about him because of Henderson. Like, I don't know. Yeah. Oh, Carson City.

[Trisha Paytas]

Carson City. Which, like, that's pretty good. What the hell? I, like, I don't think I've ever even been to Carson City.

[Tana Mongeau]

We should go.

[Trisha Paytas]

I don't know if we should go.

[Tana Mongeau]

You were talking about doing presidential stuff for a video, and I was just like, oh, we should start at the Capitals.

[Trisha Paytas]

Devin, do you have. Are you ready for the first one? Yes. What phrase makes up the last four words in the US national anthem? Oh, wait.

[Tana Mongeau]

What?

[Trisha Paytas]

Land of the free, home of the brave.

[Caller]

Oh.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God. You're so fast.

[Trisha Paytas]

You mean I'm really competitive?

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay. Okay.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Let's do it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Let's do it. Okay, we're just gonna shout. Let's do it. I was, like, confused at all.

[Trisha Paytas]

Really weird, though. That was good because I'm also not ever competing with you, ever. I love it.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love it. No, you're so smart.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's the last phrase of the national anthem. Like, if I didn't know that by now, like, the amount of. Because I love people botching the national

[Tana Mongeau]

anthem, watching the compilations.

[Trisha Paytas]

I live for seeing someone botch it. Like, who really botched it?

[Tana Mongeau]

Fergie. Roseanne.

[Trisha Paytas]

Roseanne Bar did the national anthem.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, she got booed really bad. Like, in the ro. She was like, really? And I think she was trying to be funny, but obviously. And then Fergie, you know, that was obvious.

[Trisha Paytas]

What did she do again, though?

[Tana Mongeau]

You remember? It's like,

[Trisha Paytas]

did she get the words right, though?

[Tana Mongeau]

It was just like.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I don't know. It was maybe. Yeah, I think she got the words right. But yeah, when you. Oh, you're talking about when they flopped the words.

[Trisha Paytas]

Either one.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Crazy. Okay, what's the next question?

[Trisha Paytas]

True or false? Light is the only thing that can escape a black hole. No idea what the is a black hole. Like, what do you mean? Light is the only thing that could escape a black hole? Like, what's. Like, I know black holes. Like, a. Holes. I know black holes. Like when I sleep in a dimmed curtain room for 18 hours. This is a good one. How many justices serve on the u. S. Supreme Court? What do you mean? How many is justices a person? Like, they're like a lawyer. What a cool job title. What do you do for a living? I'm just justice of the United States. Yeah. Like, I'm justice.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, that's like. Right. I get to judge you because I'm the justice system.

[Trisha Paytas]

And then what does serve mean? Like. Like, they Just work. Yeah, they work on the u. S. Supreme court. How many justices serve on the supreme

[Tana Mongeau]

court by the president?

[Trisha Paytas]

I like 12. I'm gonna say go together. Yeah. Wait, like no one knows. 26, nine.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, wow. Damn.

[Trisha Paytas]

Not to like run for congress or anything, but I think we need more than nine.

[Tana Mongeau]

This is giving immigration when. When Moses got his u. S. Citizenship, they ask you all these questions. They're like the three branches of government, like, what's the. And it's like. And we didn't know, so we're like studying beforehand that we're gonna do this test. And it's all these questions about, like, stuff I don't even know as a. A citizen of America. Like a natural born citizen. Like, it's so crazy.

[Trisha Paytas]

And like, what? Like, if every us Like, I don't know, Judicial's a branch judicial.

[Tana Mongeau]

Do you know the other two? Yeah, I didn't either. It was like. Well, I know now because that was the question. It was executive and legislative. Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Because I'm like, we should run for president.

[Tana Mongeau]

It is. We should. And then I would take that out of the immigration process because I'm like, I don't think you need to know that to be a u. S. Citizen, because I don't even know that. So it's such a crazy thing.

[Trisha Paytas]

And we also just live in la, I think so. It's so prevalent to me, like, how many people I know that do not know that. How many people I know that are like, you know, like, I know nothing.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, it was actually crazy. It was like one person, by the way, same. What's that? Who's our congressman? Who's our statesman? I'm like, who? That I don't know.

[Trisha Paytas]

All I know is about Gavin Newsom, because they play that thing about they. Well, I know a lot of things Gavin Newsom has done. Like now, because I'm more like aware. But for a while, he was just the voice at lax. Like, you know, they play that thing at LAX like every two seconds or it's like, I'm Gavin Newsom and you, your bag can't be unattended. Like, he just had like a free Wednesday. That's also not what he's saying. Ask another question, please. Devin, what do you call a scientist that's studies weather? A scientist, I know it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Meteorologist. I don't know. It's like, I'm your meteorologist Glenn Campbell.

[Trisha Paytas]

You know, like the way I loved. You know it because. No idea.

[Tana Mongeau]

I knew it. But you're so fast. Your brain is so fast. Today mine's a little. My wig was on. I had to pop it off. Mine's a little like.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, you're cranking. Meteorologist. I was literally going to say, like, the slayer of the forces. Avatar Aang. Air bender. Like, I don't know.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love that.

[Trisha Paytas]

How many bones are in the human body? 102.

[Tana Mongeau]

206. Me getting embarrassed. I know.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's so 206. 102. Mind you, I probably have maybe with all the mounjaro. I definitely have 102 bones left. Like, you're lying.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, that is the biggest bag of. We got, like, two things. Of fries. And it's like this huge bag of

[Trisha Paytas]

06 was kind of. I remember Hannah Montana. We're doing the bone dance. You live and you learn it.

[Tana Mongeau]

That was her song again and again.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, she, like, had a whole thing because she had to learn the bones.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And did she say there was 206 bones?

[Trisha Paytas]

I don't know if she actually says that in the song, but she did the bone dance and I lived for it.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's kind of cool. You can, like, learn stuff from movies like that.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

You're like, oh, I know this because, like, like, truly Hamilton. I've seen it so many times. Like, I do know about John Adams and Thomas Jefferson and George. I know everything. Like the Constitution, the words life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. Like, the. Because of Hamilton.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's crazy. That is. I do love that you are street smart. One more. One more. Okay, I'm taking. What does the term IQ stand for? I quit. It's funny because the other day I was on a tangent to Amari about someone, and I was like, she just doesn't have eq. I was talking about someone who, like, doesn't have, like, emotional intelligence and, like, cannot maneuver through conversations in, like, an emotionally intelligent way. And he was like, what's eq? And I was like, it's like iq, but emotional. And in my head I was like, please don't ask me what it stands for.

[Tana Mongeau]

I like that you just came up with it because.

[Trisha Paytas]

I don't know, IQ is a thing.

[Tana Mongeau]

But what's eq?

[Trisha Paytas]

It's like the equivalent of the equivalent of iq.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, it's being emotionally. Oh, iq. It's being emotionally. But, like, what do they stand for? Like, what does IQ stand for? EQ is Emotional intelligence. IQ is intelligence Quotient. Quotient.

[Tana Mongeau]

Quotient is craz.

[Trisha Paytas]

Can you define quotient? I'm having a neck pain. A quotient It's a result obtained by dividing one number by another. Like, I don't know why math pisses me off so bad. Like everything else, I want to learn and I'm open to learn. And then like, I'm hearing quotient being defined and I'm like, I drop out again.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, the quotient's crazy, cuz I never heard that either. I was like, what? Tinder's new astrology mode is assigned to put yourself out there. Whether you're someone who talks everything up to Mercury being in retrograde, or someone who has no idea what that means, but maybe is a little curious. Be honest. I know you guys are looking at the sign compatibility between you and your crush. Behind the scenes, you're all moonlighting as FBI agents trying to uncover someone's exact time of birth via their mom's social media. Well, I'm happy to report that now you can retire, because now you can see how your sign's compatible with someone else. On Tinder, with astrology mode, you'll fill out your birth chart info on your profile and be shown a glimpse of your astrological compatibility with potential matches. Things like communication, emotions and vibes. And don't worry, the feature is designed to be easy and fun. Regardless of birth chart info, you'll see what could make your match one that's written in the stars. Your earth might need a little air. Your fire might might need a little water. And whether you're in a committed relationship with a zodiac system or a certified skeptic, astrology mode is a fun way to break the ice and see if the stars align. Try Tinder astrology mode. Explore all the possibilities for yourself. Tinder. It starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today. Let's take some calls.

[Trisha Paytas]

We're going to take some calls. And there are 206 bones. I almost just said in the US body, by the way.

[Tana Mongeau]

Not anything international, just.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, in the US Body there too.

[Tana Mongeau]

Moses with his are how many have less or more? I don't know, nine day fiance.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, I'm just. I need to read some books. But until then, we're gonna give people advice because obviously we are so smart.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love it. Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. We know everything and we're so smart.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Here we go. Woo.

[Trisha Paytas]

Call a thon.

[Caller]

Hi, Trish. Hi, Tana. Am I a bottle of champagne Deep? Yes. Did my boyfriend break up with me a couple hours ago? Yes, he did do that. So I guess my question would be, how do you get over someone who you don't hate? You Know my last boyfriend cheated on me, right? Don't give. Don't give a shit about him. This. This new man's. Or me saying new man's when he literally broke up with me today. It's fine. I'm fine. It's gonna be okay. How do you get over a man that really didn't do anything wrong? Like, he ended things with me because he didn't see a future, which I'm first of all, like, so you've been beating this up for the past three months. Was there no future there? I'm kind of confused. How do you get over a guy that you still love?

[Tana Mongeau]

You know what I mean?

[Caller]

Because hating someone is a lot easier than loving them. Please let me know. Love you ladies more than the sun loves the. Not the sun. I love you more than the moon loves the tide. Austin Mahomes. Who? Okay, bye. I know I'm not gonna hear this on the podcast, but if it does, I'll like cream and. Oh, cream. Oh, my God. I meant to say scream and cry. Oh, my God. But I said cream. That was kind of perfect.

[Trisha Paytas]

I was just gonna say, if we ever need a third co host, like, we're calling her every.

[Tana Mongeau]

Was that the most well spoken?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes, she Love that. She did. So good. She's really, really funny, by the way. I'm like, I will always. Yes. I will always resonate with. Copes with humor and like, you're very.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, I thought it was out. Okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

Sometimes I don't even know.

[Trisha Paytas]

I never know when they're out. Okay. Not out. I'm back. God, that's hard.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's so hard. It's the hardest. Like you said, it's so much easier to hate someone and. Yeah. Oh, I'm so bad at the. How do you get over this situation? Because I could never get over somebody until I love someone more, which is so toxic. You should be able to be alone with yourself, so maybe you're better off to handle this. I've also never been broken up with. And that's not a flex. I've only been blocked. No one's ever been like, this just isn't working. I wish someone would tell me that. I wish, like, I just don't see a future with you. It was always just, like, ending. Toxic, tumultuous, like, blocked me again.

[Trisha Paytas]

But I get that. I definitely. I've had both for sure, so I know that feeling. I know this feeling.

[Tana Mongeau]

I mean, you had someone be like, it's just not working.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. For. Oh, for sure.

[Tana Mongeau]

What? How do You. What do you say?

[Trisha Paytas]

How do you. Well, a lot of the times I was super toxic, and then it wasn't working, and then I was, like, trying to gaslight them and, like, whatever. I do not talk.

[Tana Mongeau]

Keep it. You try to keep it.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. I definitely think I always was fighting for something that wasn't serving me. And it's like, oh, my God. To have the. That time back would be crazy, I think.

[Tana Mongeau]

And would they stay?

[Trisha Paytas]

Sometimes. But then, like, obviously eventually, then it just comes to a much more tumultuous end because it was always meant to end and stuff like that, you know, I don't know if I've ever just had someone like. Like, this is a very niche situation. And you. The bar is in hell to the point where you want to give the man the flowers for at least just being perfectly honest.

[Tana Mongeau]

Right?

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, it's better than a lot of things that a lot of other men do. That doesn't make it hurt any less. Like, that doesn't make it any less painful. But, like, I just. I guess I really want to, like, drill to her that, like, you cannot blame yourself. If I was more this, if I was more that, then he would have seen a future with me. You don't want someone who doesn't see a future with you. And, like, like, you will be someone's perfect future just as who you are. Like, yeah, you know, so it's good that you got out of that. It really is. And, like, I don't know. Sometimes I think that you need to mourn the person and you need to mourn the idea of the future that you had and, like, give yourself grace. Like, you might have some good days, you might have some sad days. Healing isn't linear. Like, just let it be. Like, feel it, and that's okay. Don't turn to something toxic. You don't need to jump, like, necessarily into something else. Like. Like, just be like, he was honest with me, and I don't want someone who does not want all of me for me, you know? And, like, a lot of times, too, men use excuses like, he might be saying, I don't see a future with you, when in reality, he doesn't see a future right now where he can be a good partner, you know, or he doesn't see a future where he can be loyal. He doesn't see a future where, like, you know, so I wouldn't take that, like, personally, I think is my biggest advice. And, like, you don't just unlove someone overnight, and sometimes you end up holding love Like a part of you. We're talking about this on the car right here. Like sometimes a part of you literally does die with a person. Like a small part of you. And you have to. There will always be that small version.

[Tana Mongeau]

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[Trisha Paytas]

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[Tana Mongeau]

Watch only on Prime Girl.

[Trisha Paytas]

Winter is so last season and now spring's got you looking at pictures of tank tops with hungry eyes.

[Tana Mongeau]

Your algorithm is feeding you cutoffs.

[Trisha Paytas]

You're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders that perfect hang on the patio sundress. Those sandals you can wear all day and all night. And you've had enough of shopping from your couch. Done. Hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear open that envelope. It's time for a little in person spring treat. It's time for trip to Ross. Work your magic of yourself inside of you that like has love for that person or like you did at one point, you know, and you can recognize that you carry that with you. That's baggage, you know, I did hear

[Tana Mongeau]

someone describe a breakup as like mourning someone that's still alive because it's like all of a sudden they're just not going to be in your life anymore and you cannot reach out to them. Something like that is a crazy feeling. Especially when you do still love somebody and you know they're alive but it's like they're dead to you basically. And it's like you have to accept it. And it's like. So I guess it is a morning. I guess, I guess just time. I feel like that with anything time heal.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. And just try to make friends with that. Try to be like there is this part of me that like he did, like he changed. You know what I mean? Like we all are a big puzzle of all of the people that we loved. And eventually we get to our partner, our forever partner. And it's like you might not know this now, but when you meet that person that you're going to like walk down the aisle with, you're going to be like, I'm so thankful that I had that breakup. I'm so thankful for the lessons I learned across that relationship. That was exactly what I needed at the time. I truly believe that like everything happens for a reason. And just take it day by day, girl. And eventually you'll get back out there and you'll find someone who isn't him. I think that's also hard. You like break up and you're like, oh my God. But he's the love of my life and all the ways he is. And then you like come out of it a year later and you're like, eh. His communication style kind of really sucked. And he never really got me flowers or like he had a moldy toothbrush or like, sorry, that was like a little. But like, you know, like you start to see the person with less rose colored glasses and you'll meet someone else where you're like, wait, they're perfect for me in every way.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, it's always like we say that like too spiritual. But like what's meant for you won't miss you. You know what I mean? It's like love something, let it go. It's just very much like what's not meant for you will. And what is yours, nothing will stop it from being yours, you know?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. One time gave me advice.

[Tana Mongeau]

I want to hear it. I like it.

[Trisha Paytas]

And it actually stuck with me for my entire life. So I will say that. And she said, the number one thing that you should be looking for in a partner, Tana, is someone who loves you as much as you love them. Like a lot of times in life I found myself in unrequited love or in a situation where I so clearly love someone so much more than they loved me or I was yearning for someone who didn't want to be with me. And what I needed was someone who loved me back as much as I loved them. That is the number one partner. That is what you're looking for. And this person cannot provide that for you. And there is some closure there. And it will get easier and easier and easier over time. And eventually you're going to be literally really so happy. He did that, I think.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I've heard something like that too. I think we talked about this off camera maybe on camera before where it's like they have said like on Tick Tock and stuff, people be like, for a relationship to work, the guy has to be a little more in love with the girl than the girl, because it is. And I feel that's to be true. Not to say like Moses more in love with me. I do feel like we love each other equally. But he is the guy. Sure. Like, but if a guy is just like kind of loves you a little ways less than you, it's just like Might not work because it's like, guys are always like one for the door. They're so all over the place.

[Trisha Paytas]

And there's someone out there who will. Yeah, there's someone out there who will love you like 110 that nothing you

[Tana Mongeau]

can do will give them the ick. Like, nothing. Like everything about you is perfect for them.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. And they see a future with you who you really are, not who you're pretending to be, not who they want you to be. Like, that person is out there, diva. And you just gotta, you gotta be sad right now. You gotta mourn it. You gotta eat your favorite ice cream. You gotta watch the sad movies, call your friends. Like, we all have that moment where it's like, I'm never gonna find love again. And he was the one. And then you like, wake up and

[Tana Mongeau]

it's like, oh, I'm so thankful for all the heartbreaks because it's like you just appreciate it it so much more. And like, nothing could deter me from Moses at this point because it's just like he is just giving me so much love. And I've seen all this, like, I've been through and I was just like, oh my God, this is it. Well, I don't think I would have appreciated him earlier on. And so sometimes he's a heartbreaks and stuff like that, you know, you go through so true, like really find the one you want and then once you find him, you're like, oh, like, when

[Trisha Paytas]

she finds her like, man who undoubtedly like, wants her for the rest of her life and loves her so much for her, you're going to be like, oh my God, I'm so happy I experienced what it was like where someone didn't see a future with me for just me, because holy, holy. This is so awesome. Yeah, you know, so we believe in you, diva. It's hard, but also it's character building and it's important. Breakups are arguably some of the most important things we go through in life because you end up learning so much. Even if you feel like you wasted your time and all the things your brain tells you, it's not true. You have to go through them.

[Tana Mongeau]

My first copy of the book with my editor and my publisher was just like, ah, we love all the stuff with all the guys and the breakups, but maybe just, just, how are you? How are your other relationships with your mom, your sister, your career? Like, they're just like, what else is happening? Because my whole life has been defined by breakups and it's in the book. But it's definitely more like, okay, what else is happening at the time? Because my whole life I just really saw like I broke up with this guy and this guy is. Yeah, it like was my whole life. And it. They do define you. Breakups can define you. And anyways, it's something everyone has to go through.

[Trisha Paytas]

Always something to learn. Like even if it's just the point blank lesson here that like, I want to be with someone who wants a future with me as much as I want a future with them. Or maybe you will start to look at the relationship without rose colored glasses and see all the things that maybe you wanted better, you know, you wanted different. So we love you and you got this girl. Breakups build a bad.

[Tana Mongeau]

She sounds like she's having a good time anyway. So like for just getting broken up with, you sound like you're chilling.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. And she's a funny girl. You know what I mean? You, you are clearly so funny and smart. I think it's. It takes intelligence to be that funny. And you deserve someone who is utterly obsessed with that. Like we are. So we love you. I am so excited to see Tana and Trisha take Vegas on June 12th at the CAUS Cosmopolitan.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. Well, you know, you can get tickets at Sea Geek. They might be available there. And you can find out the best deals. Best thing, maybe while we're in Vegas, maybe we'll go to the Sphere, see Backstreet Boys. Maybe we'll see a Billy Joel impersonator, Donny Osman. Who knows? You know, you're like all excited about that. So seeking has you covered for all types of events. We just saw Paw Patrol. If you don't like someone that like sports, they got sports for you. There's, there's something for everyone on SeatGeek. With over 35 million downloads, SeatGeek is the number in rated ticket up.

[Trisha Paytas]

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[Tana Mongeau]

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[Trisha Paytas]

Get your Vegas tickets now, babe. Concert season is right around the corner. To make it even better, you can use code not loveline10 for 10 off your Seat Geek tickets. That's 10 off with promo code, not loveline10.

[Tana Mongeau]

Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you, seatgeek, for sponsoring today's episode.

[Trisha Paytas]

We love you. See Geek.

[Caller]

Hi, guys. I. My name is Kaylee. I don't know if I'm allowed to say that, but I love you guys so much. You both literally raised me. I'm 25 years old now, but I've been watching y' all since I was like 13, so slay. Anyway, I'm knocked up right now. I'm pregnant as hell. I'm six months pregnant. And I just kind of want to get advice from, I guess more Tana because me and her kind of have the same parental issues, but my mother is not involved in my life at all. She doesn't care to. She doesn't care that I'm having a baby. And I'm just wondering, like, what are some ways that you deal with, like, abandonment from a parent when you're going through, like, big life things that you, like, want to tell your parents about, you know? Yeah. And Trish, if you have any pregnancy tips for my hormones and like, how sad I am all the time, let me know. But yeah, I mean, I'm also a retired crazy girl, so like, I'm right up there with y'. All. I feel like yalls child some days. But yeah, I love you both a lot.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's good merch. Retirement center for crazy girls. Yes, literally.

[Trisha Paytas]

That is us.

[Tana Mongeau]

Former. Former crazy. I love it.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

So good.

[Trisha Paytas]

That is good merch. Well, hello our fellow craz girl, you are our daughter and we love you so much. And. Oh, poor thing. Like, I can't imagine with the pregnancy hormones too. And just like I always talk about my relationship with my parents as kind of an unfillable void. Like, I spent a lot of my life trying to fill the void. And I think that I only found myself in deeper when I was trying to fill the void. I think the second that I recognized and fully, deeply recognized this void is always going to be here right next to me. But I Don't have to try to fill it with alcohol. I don't try to fill with sex. I don't try to fill with drugs. I don't try to fill it with toxic relationships. I know it's there. You know what I mean? And what else is happening around me that makes up for the void, you know what I mean? Whether it's friendships, whether it's interests, whether it's knowing that I'm a better person than they were, knowing that, like, I'm. I'm sure just. I don't know. Because you didn't say. But if I had to guess by you going, no contact. And I also always say to people who don't understand no contact. Like, no one ever wants to. You're gonna try absolutely everything under the sun before you go. No contact with a parent. Right. So it's like, for you to have to make that decision, it's just as hard as them missing you or all the things society says, you know? But you probably also made that decision with your future child in mind, which is already showing that you are going to be so fulfilled in knowing that you are going to be the type of mom that shows up and steps up and breaks those generational curses and just focus. I don't know. I don't know if the. The baby. The baby daddy is a part of life right now or, like, friends or even support groups. Like, you want to help yourself, you're placing this call. So do everything you can to fill your time with things that show you the same love that you put out, you know, because you will be just fine. And it is a new normal. And it does. Does suck. And like, us girlies, we were robbed of something that a lot of people get, and society reminds us of that all the time, you know, but, like, I acknowledge that. Like, I. I think it's so important to just acknowledge that that void is there and acknowledge that I was robbed. But also, I'm going to prevail. You know, I'm still going to create an amazing life for not only myself, but my future kids one day. And I believe in you to do it.

[Tana Mongeau]

So, yeah, that baby's coming. And I think that's. So that's the best advice. Yeah. Is like, be. Be the mom you wish you had. I. I feel like that obviously, like it with, like, my kids and stuff like that. It's like, I don't want to fill their head with, like, diets and being like, I want to be the, like, somebody that I didn't have. My mom was Great, obviously. And she, like, didn't know, you know, Obviously. But you learn from your parents, obviously. If your mom's absentee, you're not around. Like, you know, you're just like, I want to be there for my kids, but, yeah, just trying to be the best mom you can.

[Trisha Paytas]

It is so true. And, like, girl, you could end up going to. To the church or going to. Not to go all God, but. Or to go all God, like. Or going to a support group or something like that. And you could end up meeting a woman who is a little older than you and inspires you so much. And, like, I think I. A lot of that too. Like, I. I realized I might not have parents, but I have so many people that I have gone out and, like, sought out. You know what I mean? I had to put in the work for myself that do inspire me in the same ways that I can fall back on. In the same ways, like, you will find people to show the love and to help ease that void in so many ways. Like, you could very well meet someone in the next few years where you're like, you're not my mom. And I know that. And I'm not trying to make you my mom, but, like, I look up to you and I can ask you for things, and I just. Sometimes us girlies who are left alone in this world, we do unfortunately, have to go the extra mile to seek out the love and the family and the people we look up to and all those things, but they are there. And that's the beautiful thing about life and love. Like, don't let it Jade you. To think that everyone's bad because they aren't, you know?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. You did great at nurturing your friendships and, like, chosen family and stuff. You're so good at that. Like, you really did that. Amazing. Like, your support system around you is amazing. Like, I always think about that. I'm like, oh, my God, when you have kids, you're gonna have, like, 50 people you can call on to help you, which is, like, really great. And not everyone has that, you know, when they don't have, you know.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. But I will say that, like, I had to spend a lot of time kind of looking for that. Like, there was definitely a big part of my life where I was. I was, like, lost. And I did have to kind of go fend for myself. And that is the feeling, I guess, about. You know, most people are born into this world with two people who are looking out for them and two people they can count on and they can rely on and like all these things and when you don't have that, you are kind of hunting and gathering your own new normal. But eventually you will feel so normal in it, you know, and you're going to be a great, great mother. Because I think even the awareness of asking that type of question just shows that you are already trying to not only protect yourself, but to protect yourself to be best mom you can be. And that's huge. You know what I mean? Break those generational curses, girl.

[Tana Mongeau]

Everyone's doing it now. It's so, it's. I see that all on Tik Tok is just people that like didn't have fathers around and they're being there for their kids like this. And I see it with my own kids, like so many dads. It's like we took them to swim class on a Sunday and it was all dads in the pool and we're like, oh, I love this because like when I would go on the weekdays it was all moms and it was just like so cool to see dads or in ballet, like taking their kids to class or watching the girls dance. And I was like the. This is so nice that a whole new generation is like being fathers in

[Trisha Paytas]

their kids life and like you will have friends that help you with the kids and you will. And sometimes, yes, it is annoying that you have to go seek those things out. But like there will be a point where you're sitting there with your child and you have people that you can rely on and you, you are being this present amazing mother and you'll be like, you know what? This is my life and this is my truth. And I'm. I made the best with the hand I was dealt, you know. And I believe in you. So.

[Tana Mongeau]

You look so pretty. Say oh my God, like stunning. Like it's crazy.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's your makeup artist. I swear I said give me the Trisha special.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's everything. You're like a low. It's crazy. Oh my God. You look like a totally different person. You always look pretty.

[Trisha Paytas]

I told you I was going all fake. Give me. It's funny cuz if you look really close. I actually forgot. I keep meaning to apologize for how dark my tan is. Six hours in, it's. I got it last night and it's developed really dark. I'm well aware I'll be washing that that off soon. And I have crazy bruises under this lip from like my lip filler.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, you can't tell. Yeah, you look like Gisele Bunchen when she was like young dating Leonardo DiCaprio. I'm not kidding. I was like, you look, like, so good. You look at your secret model. It's crazy.

[Trisha Paytas]

Absolutely cutting you off at Gisele Bunchen

[Tana Mongeau]

at, like, 21 when she's, like, dating Leo.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, she looks so good at 21 when she was dating Leo, you know, side by side.

[Tana Mongeau]

Jimmy put a side by side.

[Trisha Paytas]

Honestly, I'm owning it. Me and Leo are at the edge of the boat like this. You're right. You know what? I'm Heidi Klum. Oh, let's go. Imagine I start, like, pressing supermodels. I'm like Adriana Lima.

[Tana Mongeau]

Check that.

[Trisha Paytas]

You do. You literally.

[Tana Mongeau]

I saw Alexandra just came out like, her Sports Illustrated. Do you Sports Illustrated or no? No, we really. I feel like so many influencers were doing it. What do you.

[Trisha Paytas]

Influencers did it? But it would be my own, like, the way. You know what it is? It's this it. Maybe I could get the body to be where I need it to be, but my face in every single photo would be this. I'd be sucking it away.

[Tana Mongeau]

Your face so hard. Get. I'm going to get the Polaris and carry on and, like, just insert them where it's just like, no photo touching, nothing. And it's just, like, so gorgeous. Every face she did was just like, we're throwing chips. And she's like. Like, she's just so locked in.

[Trisha Paytas]

I was just horrified today of the idea of there being one photo where I was, like, blinking. I was locked in. But then I came in here and I almost passed out. I was like, I haven't breathed in over an hour.

[Tana Mongeau]

And also, like, those. I think I have such high hopes for these photos, but now I'm scared to have high hopes. I'm like, oh, my God, what if I, like, hate them? But, like, those Polaroids, I remember looking at you and just big. Who is this? Like, it's just.

[Trisha Paytas]

We are in a transformative era. I really am. And honestly, the people were right. Like, darkening the hair a bit.

[Tana Mongeau]

This hair was the move. I, like, even, like, responded to your story. I, like, had never responded stories. And I was just like, this was it. This was the move. It was so good.

[Trisha Paytas]

It was all because of that wig that you wore. I swear to God. You wore that wig on Loveland? Yes. And I was like, I need my. I need to be able to. I want to be going to the bathroom and sit down at the toilet and have to worry that my hair is going to dip in the bowl. I want hair. I Can sit on, and I want it. And it ended up darker. And I honestly, I think that people might be right about.

[Tana Mongeau]

Wow. Yeah. Because this is perfect. Is that perfect brown Bron? Does they say bronze?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Honestly. And it's weird because now I'm kind of addicted to it. I'm like, I want to go darker. I'm like, who? I'm either having, like, an episode, I come back next week with cheek filler, like, entering the room before me. Like, I just keep doing more. I'm trying not to, but I did that in Cabo.

[Tana Mongeau]

Makes you happy, you know?

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, I'm trying to do things in moderation, you know? Trisha also, I will say she looks so cute right now in her chrome hearts. We talked about this on, like, a previous episode.

[Tana Mongeau]

Where on air? Was it? Like, did we say it on air?

[Trisha Paytas]

I don't remember. I would think I was in Chrome Hearts or just talking about it, and I was like, they have. Have pink. And I always forget that when you tell her something, that means, like, she is going to order it online that night.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think you had chrome Hearts boot boots on one episode. And I said, cut. I really want to be a Chrome Hearts girly, but I don't think it's, like, me. And I'm like, I really want a sweatshirt. I wanted a sweatshirt for years. Jason, one of my hair stylists, like, always wears chrome hearts, and I always want one, but I cannot bring myself to buy one. Like, I'll go into Malboon. It's just, like, they're just so expensive. But then after that, you're like, they have pink. And I was like, well, I could wear it on just.

[Trisha Paytas]

And the pink is also, like, rare.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I guess.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, I've never seen the hot pink.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I kind. I did. I. This one was a splurge, but I was. I haven't. I have not spent minus the Dior a little haul. But before that, I. That was a recent. Because of St. Patrick's Day, but before that, I truly had not bought a new purse in, like, three years.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, honestly, it's so, like, it's noble is what it is.

[Tana Mongeau]

So I've been saving even when we go to Target. I go to Target now twice a year, and it's like spring and Halloween. We just did a Target trip, and I will not spend more than 250.

[Trisha Paytas]

And it.

[Tana Mongeau]

If it's like 300, I put stuff back. Like, I'm very, very, very.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, my. Yeah, I can't go to Target. I'm not allowed, like, oh, really? You're just like, the other day I had the shopping inch, and I go, omar, you know what? Let's go to Dollar Tree. And I got some bags of chips and I got some post it notes, but I still spent $70 at the Dollar Tree. That means you bought 70 items.

[Tana Mongeau]

That is like, is this everything still a dollar there?

[Trisha Paytas]

Well, no, like a dollar fifty. So I guess less.

[Tana Mongeau]

We should do one because, like, a swap. Because, like, you love thrifting and it's like, I'll go to the thrift store with you.

[Trisha Paytas]

I see things all the time when I'm thrifting that make me think of either you or one of your kids. And I always almost get it for you. And then I'm like, I don't know if she, like, wants more stuff.

[Tana Mongeau]

That is what everyone's saying now because I've been getting rid of everything. And, like, Moses used to always bring back little, like, knickknacks for me. He's just like, I know we're just, like, trying to get rid of stuff in the house, but I will if it's, like, a gift from someone I, like, love.

[Trisha Paytas]

The other day I went to by far, like, genuinely, actually. Oh, my God. I got these earrings I wanted to show you, and I didn't wear them, and I brought them them. It's my new favorite store in California by far.

[Tana Mongeau]

What is it?

[Trisha Paytas]

It's called Sherman Oaks Antique Mall. I hate that I'm putting anyone on. Literally. Don't go. I'm not a gatekeeper, so I'm saying it, but, like, please don't go.

[Tana Mongeau]

What is it? What's the gag?

[Trisha Paytas]

It's just all antiques and, like, thrift stuff. And, like, a lot of it's for the home people. Like, a lot of times go prop shopping there. But I'm talking. I got these little, like, Chanel earrings. I got, like, a lot of Elvis stuff. I got a Barb. A 1980. 1986 Barbie magazine. Barbie on the moon. And it's like, Barbie on the moon. And it's this magazine.

[Tana Mongeau]

Literally, all my kids, Barbie and Elvis.

[Trisha Paytas]

Literally. Oh, my God. I didn't even. Like, that is so funny. And, like, just so much I bought.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love that.

[Trisha Paytas]

I brought. I bought a street sign. Like, a real street sign. Like, intersection. Like, it's a whole sign.

[Tana Mongeau]

What is the intersection, though?

[Trisha Paytas]

Coachella Drive. And I was like, I need this in my house because it was real. Like, someone stole it for sure. Like, it's huge. It's heavy.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's huge.

[Trisha Paytas]

I got a Big mermaid for like my wall in Hawaii. But. But like, I would love. I kept thinking of you because there was so much like Barbie and so much like just all the, like so much Elvis. Like all the little things that like, we both like, love and like jewelry. And I was like, I just. I love thrifting.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I would love to go. I would love to try. I've never done it. It's so fun. We were Goodwill kids. My mom would always go to Goodwill. So I think I had like a little aversion to it. Cause I was like, kids were like, you just have a Goodwill. And I wanted to have like Old Navy or something. And so I had like a little bit of a trauma. But I think it's cool now. Like, you've made it cool again. And I'm like, oh, I wanna.

[Trisha Paytas]

It is. I replace drinking with thrifting. No question.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's a good replacement.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's an addiction though. It really is. It's my favorite cuz. The dopamine of finding like Moa just found this. Do you remember when Bath and Body Works used to do free gifts with purchase?

[Tana Mongeau]

Like what kind of gifts?

[Trisha Paytas]

Like insane tote bags kind of.

[Tana Mongeau]

I remember before I secret doing. I didn't know Bath and Body Works did it.

[Trisha Paytas]

They did it too, but like, same thing. Like, do you remember circa 2010s when free gifts with purchase were like actually insane items? Like, they weren't just. Just like a canvas tote. They weren't stickers. They were like big bags and like nice stuff.

[Tana Mongeau]

Perfume, like boxes. Oh my gosh.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. I'm like, the free gift renaissance is over. Okay. Like, you're lucky to get a temporary tattoo. And we were thrifting. And for 12.99. Oh my God, my earrings. I want to show you.

[Tana Mongeau]

I found the fries. I was like, what is that?

[Trisha Paytas]

He found a Bath and Body Works leather bag and it's like crocodile. People keep asking him if it's literally like hermetic. No, no.

[Tana Mongeau]

I saw a red bag earlier.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's the red one. It was 12.99 and it's bath and Body Works. And it looks like it was a thousand dollars. Like, you found it, Makoa. Yes. And he's been carrying it everywhere. Everyone's obsessed. The dopamine of the good find. Speaking of.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love it.

[Trisha Paytas]

How cute are they?

[Tana Mongeau]

You want that Thrifting?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. Sherman Oaks Antique One was the other one.

[Tana Mongeau]

Is it just one in my hand.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, and they were buttons that someone repurposed. Like, I don't give a Damn.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love. Those are go.

[Trisha Paytas]

I'm showing the viewer, like, this is a haul that is. But I swear it also, there's something about something having a past life, like the prices also being like, wow, I got this for this. I got this little mini cheetah couch. It's like a. Like, it's literally. It looks like that, but mini. Like, it's literally a cheetah couch. It's tiny and it opens up as a jewelry box. And it was like 18 bucks. Bucks. Like, and the finding and knowing I'm not contributing to the landfill of it

[Tana Mongeau]

all, it's just like. And saving money. I mean, that's like 18. Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Barbie on the moon was 24. I was like, I would have paid five grillion. Barbie on the Moon is ready to soundtrack your summer with Red Bull Summer All Day Play. You choose a playlist that fits your summer vibe the best. Are you a festival fanatic, a deep end dj, a road dog, or a trail mixer? Just add a song to your chosen playlist and put your summer on track. Red Bull Summer All Day Play. Red Bull gives you wings. Visit red bull.com brightsummer ahead to learn more. See you this summer.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like a.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's just a magazine.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay.

[Trisha Paytas]

That was like a figurine and like vintage Playboys. Like, all my vintage. My vintage Playboy collection is getting so good.

[Tana Mongeau]

Playboy. Oh, my God.

[Trisha Paytas]

Just so. And it's so fun. Even, like, being in the thresh and looking through all the old Playboys.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, that's so fun. I love old magazines. Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

I was gonna buy one in New Orleans because it was Heidi Montag's cover. Do you remember her cover?

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, what was hers?

[Trisha Paytas]

So it was right after she did all of her surgery. She did Playboy.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay. And as she should you get a new body. Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

And she was like, they almost had her covered in, like, dirt and then like, on her stomach.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, yes, the Playboy.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. They carved it out, but it was just like 200, I guess it was like a rare Playboy. I didn't know how many they made.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God. Does Heidi know that?

[Trisha Paytas]

And I was like, I need to just ask Heidi. Like, do you. Do you have one laying around? But I don't know. I just. I really want to take you one of these days.

[Tana Mongeau]

So fun. I'll go to that one. That'd be fun. Okay. I would really think of a day a lot.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. And I like, I. I will start grabbing you little things, but I'm just like, okay. I never know if, like, you want things.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm like, that with people too. But if it's from you, I always do.

[Trisha Paytas]

Okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. I love the Aquaman shirt you got me like right when Aquaman was born from like Amazon. I literally wear that all the time. Like I wear it all every night. I got rid of like all my big shirts except for that one. I was like, I. I want to keep this one.

[Trisha Paytas]

This wait.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's cute.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Cuz that was right after he was born.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I remember you showed up and I was like gagged. I love that shirt so much. And I thought I bought every Aquaman merch there was. And then I saw that I was like, I haven't seen this one. Like, I was like, even that.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, I know we could so find you some crazy like vintage Aquaman, vintage Elvis, vintage Barbie.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, yeah, I do love that you're into like vintage Elvis. That's so cool. I don't know. Like, I feel like Elvis is such like a thing.

[Trisha Paytas]

And I think as I'm getting older I'm just realizing, I don't know, like Tick Tock shop just every five below. Everything is made so poorly and with no character. Like so many things are just made with no character. Now I'm not saying they're not good things for sale from certain brands right now. Like, I'm not saying that. But like a good vintage decor piece with like character is just intricacy. I like.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I'm on that side of Tick tock. Do you know like the Tuscan mom style? Have you seen that?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay. Like the old Tuscan Italy houses. You remember the ones? Yeah. Like trapped sparker had that was like raw iron, like staircases and it's like what happened to that where like the moms were in wedges and like the coach bags and I was like. So I was in my thrifting era. I was trying to find like one because I'm like, oh, I want to go. I think Nikki and Gabby did a Tuscan mom inspired one. They went to Panera. They're like romanticizing the Tuscan mom life. And so that's like me, I want to go to Olive Garden and just like romanticize.

[Trisha Paytas]

Absolutely. I'm joining you.

[Tana Mongeau]

The French manicure. Like everything about that light because it was so unique back in the houses had so much character. Yes. And we're talking about that. And I think you were talking about like the modern farmhouse.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, the fact that I bought a farmhouse is the bane of my existence. I had an interior cuz I want like, well, let me just shut the up. But like I want a Spanish or like a mid century home now. Like that's where I'm at. Where I'm like, this, this farmhouse does not fit my vibe. And I had this interior designer come over the other day. She walks in, first words out of her mouth. I would just expect you to have a mid century modern home, not a farmhouse.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I was like, wow, that's very me. Everyone's going to Porter Ranch, which is close to us, and it's booze, like Porter's booze. All the influencers are getting like big houses that are like modern and nice and lit up. And as much as I thought that was me, like I love in my area there's all like 90s homes. Our house is a 90s home. And I love like little step downs. I love like just like yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

Character.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like my house is just all the walls are white paneling and the light fixtures are wayfair down. Like I don't know how to explain it. It's just. It's a great home. But it's like so. It's so Republican. I'll keep saying it like that's so funny.

[Tana Mongeau]

Is every influencer has that kind of house. Like a James Charles has a farmhouse. Like everyone has the farm, which I. I like them, I do like them. Like Joe Gracefa has one, but it's just not me. Yeah, that's very in right now. So yeah, like them.

[Trisha Paytas]

But I just, I think that like a lovely whatever. But you haven't.

[Tana Mongeau]

Your taste has changed too. I feel like you weren't like a thrifter before. Now you're into like vintage.

[Trisha Paytas]

That is true my taste. Because in Hawaii I started doing a lot of thrifting because like they either have thrifting or like the really expensive stores for stuff. There's not a lot of like middle ground. So I started doing a lot of thrifting and like, I don't know, just joy and the dopamine and like randomness. I think for so long like everyone had that gray marble and everyone wanted like the same of every cup and the same of every put and it's like, that's no fun. I want to look at all my mugs and be like, I collected these over the years. I want to look at my cups and be like, I collected these here and these here and they were $4 and they would. And they were someone else's before they were mine.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love memories like that. Just like, oh, I had this here and there. Yeah, yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's just better. It really is. And I don't have no idea how we got here here.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't either. We have a question. Okay, let's take a question. Yeah, we're answer 15 calls.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, maybe four.

[Caller]

Hi, Tisha. Hi, Tana. I love you all so much. So this is probably a stupid question, but I was wondering if you guys watched Pretty Little Liars when it came out and if you guys dressed liked them like them after, like, with the high heels and the dresses. Okay, bye. Love y'. All.

[Tana Mongeau]

I guess this is a you question.

[Trisha Paytas]

Did you watch Pretty Little Liars? No.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oscar has told me about it. I have no idea. I never even remember this. Meow.

[Trisha Paytas]

I think that after season seven, someone, or like season whatever, like three fourths of the way in, someone took over who was on, like, writing that show. Like, it was so great until there was like a million A's. And obviously hindsight looking back, like, the Ezra Arya storyline is kind of. It was like.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's what I know about it.

[Trisha Paytas]

And like, Like, I don't know, like, just a lot. But I definitely. I walked through life thinking I was Allison De Laurentiis, like, the main girl. She's like. And like the. She's like, almost like Amari. What would you do? Like, I would almost describe Allison De Laurentiis as like, kind of the Regina George of them. Yeah. And like, I thought I looked like her. I thought I acted like her. I didn't do either. I was obsessed. I did do the. I remember I had these, like, Saint Laurent ugly suede heels. They were so, so fugly. And I, like, bought them full price and I'd wear them with dresses and.

[Tana Mongeau]

But you thought they were so. At the time.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, my God. I was like entering my foot into a room, like, minutes before. Like, look at this. And looking back, it's like they were square toe, square heel.

[Tana Mongeau]

I do appreciate sometimes you look back at, like, bad fashion. Big at the time, I was obsessed. And no one could tell me otherwise that I was like, the baddest. These shoes.

[Trisha Paytas]

And like, it is like, I think, like, growing up with no money and then you come into money.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

You don't understand for a long time. Like now I very much just now, really the last, like, two years years have I, like, garnered a specific taste. Like for a while I was like, oh, this is expensive.

[Tana Mongeau]

So.

[Trisha Paytas]

And it's like, no, you know, like,

[Tana Mongeau]

yeah, money doesn't always equal good.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, like, exactly. Like how expensive and simplicity can be great. Like a plain sweater and jeans.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I think, you know, I love Kim Kardashian Kim Kardashian got me into that. I feel like the basics that she wears, like. Oh, she just looks so chic.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like black sweatpants and a black shirt

[Trisha Paytas]

and like everything doesn't need a tassel and a charm and of course it's

[Tana Mongeau]

nice sometimes we do.

[Trisha Paytas]

But. But like in my day to day, like, I'm just so happy that I can be a little more. A little more capsule y. But yeah. PLL4L. I don't know. It's definitely like all of the characters are iconic. You know, like they. Shay Mitchell ended up so iconic. Like everyone ended up so iconic from it and it was an iconic time. Like, I remember being so obsessed with like, who's A. But then I just think that the ending went to. And that's my opinion, so.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I know nothing about it, but Shane Mitchell's in the new, new Baywatch.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. And so is like Noah Beck and

[Tana Mongeau]

what do you think?

[Trisha Paytas]

Livy Dunn. I love Liv's name.

[Tana Mongeau]

Brooks Nader. Nader.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. She's in it.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know any of these people.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, I'm excited to watch it. I loved Baywatch. Like, no, I actually don't always live for a reboot, but I do like to tune in to see if it's done.

[Tana Mongeau]

Did you like the movie Baywatch with the Rock and Zac Efron and Logan Paul?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. I just rewatched it recently and I

[Tana Mongeau]

was like, what was he like? Background. He didn't have a line, did he?

[Trisha Paytas]

He had a line.

[Tana Mongeau]

What was his line?

[Trisha Paytas]

I have no idea. I have no idea.

[Tana Mongeau]

Idea.

[Trisha Paytas]

I didn't mind that movie, actually. I like, just re watched it.

[Tana Mongeau]

I hated it. And I like, love Zac Efron.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, love.

[Tana Mongeau]

Obviously, like love that everyone. I thought it was horrible and like their outfits, their swimsuits. Like, what are these?

[Trisha Paytas]

I was also on tour.

[Tana Mongeau]

Long sleeve ugly swimsuits.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Like, the OG Bay watch was so montagey and like, just. It's funny, I've been watching a lot of OG Baywatch because it plays on cable in Hawaii and sometimes when I'm lazy on my tv, I just won't. And then I'm in Hawaii too, so I'm like, I. I'm so Baywatch and it's like you're eating Cheetos in bed still. You're eating Cheetos in bed. Just because you're in Maui doesn't mean you're so Baywatch.

[Tana Mongeau]

Did you ever see the Baywatch Hawaii? Did we talk about that before?

[Trisha Paytas]

No.

[Tana Mongeau]

The Hawaii version of Jason Momoa was on it, and it was like, later on, like, in the early 2000s or something like that. But the original is so good, and you just can't recreate that at all.

[Trisha Paytas]

And the story lines were just, like. I was watching one recently where they, like, found an alligator, and I was just, like, living for the randomness. I don't know. I'm excited to watch the reboot, though. Like, I will give it. I'll give it a try. Yeah, it's me.

[Tana Mongeau]

I am. I'm not obviously. Like, obviously they offered it me. I was like, you want to be in bail? I'd be like, yes. I just. I don't love the idea because I just, you know, it's so hard. The original's so good.

[Trisha Paytas]

Reboots are just so 50. 50. They're a good reboot. The icarly reboot was okay. Fuller House was. I think that's totally on Candace Cameron Christian weirdo. Like, she just stained it for me.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, she stained Christianity for me, and I love Christianity.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. I think I'm blanking entirely, actually. Just let me, like, shut up.

[Caller]

Up.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, there has to be. I think, like, I love the Brady Bunch movies. I thought those were really good.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, Dexter's reboots were great. I love. I live for, like, current day Dexter, actually. Phenomenal. Flawless.

[Tana Mongeau]

Sometimes a reboot is. Speaking of. I was thinking. What did I just say? Where do you want? Oh, I don't know. Why Ben Stiller. Did you see his new soda?

[Trisha Paytas]

No. Hey. At all. Hey. I did not see Ben Stiller's new soda, but I would love for you to tell me about it. Is it called Update for Dance? And is he investing in Kim Kardashian? So many goddamn drink. Well, that's what his is, because his

[Tana Mongeau]

is literally like, Shirley. There it is. Stiller. Shirley Temple.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love Stillers. Like, and the. The. The font is.

[Tana Mongeau]

It is giving. Like, beer. Like Stillers, Coors Light or something. Like, it is giving ever.

[Trisha Paytas]

I swear to God, it's like, the mailman will have a drink next week.

[Tana Mongeau]

Everyone has a drink. Well, there was a video going viral on. On Twitter, and he's promoting it and, like, a Whole Foods. Like, he's standing there promoting his Stiller drink, and no one is going up to him. And so Twitter is, like, ripping him apart. I don't know his Lord.

[Trisha Paytas]

If I Ben Stiller in Whole Foods, I absolutely am saying, hey, Ben Stiller, what are you doing here?

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, someone's, like, filming him from afar, and he's like, you know, no one's coming up to him. And he's just like. Then he shows his drink. He's like. And what is weird to me is, like, Twitter's, like, tearing him apart as if, like, I don't know anything about him. I don't know if he's, like, super mega or what. Like, everyone just, like, serves him right. Like, whatever. And I was like, what?

[Trisha Paytas]

I don't know what he's done, but what I will say is he made Severance.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, what does that mean? What does that mean?

[Trisha Paytas]

He made the show Severance? Like, yeah, like, he. Like, he either wrote it or created it. Like, he's the creator of the show Severance.

[Tana Mongeau]

And why is he not whole food selling Stiller is so.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, like, just please, we want a season 2 anyways. Tell me what's happening with Hel. I'm literally hell, helly begging.

[Tana Mongeau]

So you love a Ben Stiller?

[Trisha Paytas]

I mean, I love Severance more than anything.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, that's your fave.

[Trisha Paytas]

Severance is one of the greatest shows I've ever watched, for sure.

[Tana Mongeau]

Did you watch the Beauty?

[Trisha Paytas]

I tried to tie and I were, like, super stoned, and then I was just like, why are people exploding? I think we thought that Bella Hadid was really going to be in it, so we were, like, gagged, and then she exploded, and I was kind of like, yeah, over it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay. Like, just a knockoff of the substance. You love the substance.

[Trisha Paytas]

I do love the substance, and maybe I would love it if I got into it more. I feel like I was also just. Sometimes I love to be like, oh, I didn't really get into that show. But it's also like, you were playing Subway Surfer at the same time that you were watching it. Like, maybe you just didn't pay attention that part.

[Tana Mongeau]

Sometimes you have to, like, pay attention.

[Trisha Paytas]

Did you watch it?

[Tana Mongeau]

The Substance or the Beauty?

[Trisha Paytas]

The Beauty.

[Tana Mongeau]

I watched the end with what's her name? Nicola Peltz. Is that her name? The one that's married to the Beckham boy? I saw it just because I was like, oh, let me see this. It looks like death becomes her, you know, I love Death becomes her. Shit it. Love.

[Caller]

I. Hi, guys. So, first of all, I love both of you, and I have forever. But basically, I wanted to ask, what do you do when you find out that you're the other woman? I have a guy I was talking to for a really long time, about a year, and he had bad drug issues. I was helping him through that, and now I find out the other day that he's had a girlfriend and he's pretending like he doesn't know me. So what do you do when you find out you're the other woman? Thank you, guys. I love you.

[Trisha Paytas]

What are our. Sweetie, sweetheart, Whatever you do, do not stay, okay? If he's gonna lie to you like that, that is never going to change. You deserve someone where you're the only woman I'm really big on. Like, when anyone in my life has ever come to me with this, I say you tell the girl and you like you hey, girly. Because then you will sleep at night. You will be able to.

[Tana Mongeau]

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[Trisha Paytas]

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[Tana Mongeau]

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[Trisha Paytas]

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[Tana Mongeau]

Find Ollie Sleep solutions for the whole [e-mail].

[Trisha Paytas]

that's o l l y dot com.

[Tana Mongeau]

You can't reason with the sun. Trust us, we've tried. This summer, it's time to put that angry ball of fire on mute.

[Trisha Paytas]

Columbia's Omnishade technology is engineered to protect

[Tana Mongeau]

you from the sun's harsh rays that

[Trisha Paytas]

can burn and damage your skin.

[Tana Mongeau]

The sun is relentless, but so is our gear.

[Trisha Paytas]

Level up your [e-mail] to spend more

[Tana Mongeau]

time outside and less time slathering on aloe lotion. You're welcome.

[Trisha Paytas]

Columbia Engineered for whatever. Be like I didn't. And, like, I think sometimes it can create this dynamic where you're trying to be, like, better than her. Like, you know what I mean? And, like, all these things. But that's all so unhealthy for you. And you just deserve someone where you're the sole woman.

[Tana Mongeau]

Have you ever found out?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. I had to think about it. Yeah, absolutely.

[Tana Mongeau]

And you told her?

[Trisha Paytas]

I just. Well, I. I, like, caused a commotion and left. Like she knew I was great. Well, she was.

[Tana Mongeau]

Was she there?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. Yes. So, like, it was all at once. I guess it was. I was dating someone and then he was pretending this girl was his assistant and cousin and then was also just dating her at the same time as me. And so, like, he. She. But she was. I don't know who was the other woman because she would, like, be over and she'd be, like, folding his clothes and we'd be, like, hanging out, watching a movie, like, kissing on the couch. And I'd be. And she'd be, like, doing, like, the dishes and, like, Doing things like that an assistant and a cousin would, like, do. So, like. But then, like, she was low key, so I guess she was the other woman. But I also felt like the other woman. I mean, it's kissing.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I mean, I was. She knew about you?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. Yes. Like, she was definitely, like, I guess the one that. But to me, it's the same thing. Really?

[Tana Mongeau]

Really.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, he was dating both of us? No, I guess she knew. I guess. Yeah, she was the other one.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know where the fries. I guess the food. The food is like, the flies are coming. We'll move it. Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

I just think that, like, it's so easy when you're young to, like, make this scenario and, like, he's gonna leave her and he's gonna change forever. But I was talking about this the other day, and I'm, like, a pretty firm believer in, like, lose them how you got him. Like, if you. If someone's doing that in the beginning, at some point in your life, their eye could start wandering again, even if they don't ever cheat again. Some people do change in that way. They will. L. Like, they will. I don't know. I think if you're capable of that, like, some people change. There are exceptions to the rule, but I would say nine times out of 10, like, you lose them how you got them. I don't know.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know, I think that's great. And yeah, at the end of the day, I like what you said. Let the other person know. I. I used to make exposed videos. Once I found out someone's a cheater. I was like, I'm making a video with their name in the title and Big Blink Blake is a cheater. And then they'd, like, text me, like, okay, she found out. She knows. Because I was like. He'd be like, oh, I have a girlfriend. Or someone told me they had a girlfriend, I'd, like, lose my mind. It's the worst feeling. It's like, it is the worst feeling.

[Trisha Paytas]

And I feel like I. I do believe that the universe can punish people and that we don't. We shouldn't have to be karma. But at the same time, I also believe that there are. People should be held accountable and that sometimes being loud in those situations is not a bad thing because it's like, you might be the person to stop this man from getting away with behavior like that. And sometimes you convince yourself you don't have it in you. You. And, oh, but he really loves me. And maybe someone else out there won't. But, like, no, he doesn't. And like, actions speak louder than words because if someone really loved you, they wouldn't put you in that situation. And I highly, highly advise to run because you can't build a home on top of an insecure foundation. And you'll never be secure in this, ever.

[Tana Mongeau]

And once that lie comes out, it's like, how do you have any trust again? Yeah, absolutely not.

[Trisha Paytas]

And you just, you can't be with someone that you don't trust.

[Tana Mongeau]

Trust. Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

And like, sorry, I had to crack my jaw. I don't know. Yes, I think telling her is up to you. You don't really owe anyone that. But it might make you feel better to know that you did the right thing through and through. And like, also stopped him from doing it to other people. But when I say run for the hills, like, I mean it with my whole chest, like, run, run, run, run, run. Non negotiably. No matter how much it hurts you, you will get over it. You will find someone better. Better.

[Tana Mongeau]

Let's go. One more question. Five. I think that's five questions. That's pretty good.

[Caller]

Hi, Trisha. Hi, Tana. I actually met both of you in the parking lot in the Madonna Inn. You're both so lovely. But I'm calling today because I'm no contact with my ex. It's been three and a half weeks and I'm struggling every single waking second to not text him and reach out. And I'm having panic anxiety with this need to like fix it and get a conversation. So I would love your advice on how to let the space happen and to not panic about never speaking again and let the no contact happen. So thank you so much and love you both. Bye bye.

[Trisha Paytas]

We love you. I actually remember that so well and it was like one of the first times I think you and I were ever somewhere and like we met someone out in public like together.

[Tana Mongeau]

That is might be our first like public outing.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes, yes, yes, literally. And he was so sweet. And it's funny because I remember thinking he was like straight and I was like, why is this straight man approaching us? I was so scared. And then he was like super sweet and amazing. Breaking no contact. The age old question. Don't do it. Like, I just feel like sometimes we try to make closure and seek closure and force closure, you know, like, like just like I'm going to talk to them and I'm going to get the closure I need. But in reality the way that it is is your closure. Like you like someone who couldn't provide you with A relationship is sure not going to be able to provide you with closure. Okay. And, like, unless the breakup was for no reason and they're a really good person and you really want them back and you really, like, just really want to rewrite that and they are your dream partner.

[Caller]

Partner.

[Trisha Paytas]

You probably broke up for a reason. And, like, I don't think you should break it. I think that if there's a reason for the no contact and you don't feel like you're in the wrong and you feel like they're like, let that be your closure and distract yourself, like, genuinely. I think in moments of wanting to break no Contact, you have to look at it as, like, a drug addiction and be like, I'm not gonna relapse. I'm gonna go to Color Me Mine.

[Tana Mongeau]

Do you have, like, a tip to when you're feeling the relapse, what to do?

[Trisha Paytas]

Sometimes just speaking to, like, one other person that's show interest into you is a nice reminder that, like, this person is not my be all and, like, end all. You know what I mean? Like, someone else will want me and, like, I shouldn't go back to this thing. That was awful. You know what I mean? I'm not saying, like, that external validation is the sole fix, but if you really feel like you're going to relapse on no contact, posting a hot photo and getting some comments and likes and responses to your story, or like talking to someone else on a dating app is better than relapsing on no contact talk.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. You know, I think it's great. Yeah, it's hard. I'm, like, such a weak person. I have, like, no willpower. Like, I would be the worst at no contact. Sometimes, like, deleting the number helped me because I would just want to text. And it's like, if the. If the number's like, not in the phone, I'm just like, then you can't text them.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's so real. Like, putting that boundary to yourself of, like, blocking them or delete. That's such good advice.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Because it's like, then you can't and you'll thank yourself later. And I will just say as some someone who. Any relationship I was ever in where we went no contact and then we broke it, and then we went no contact again, and then we broke it and then we went no contact again and whatever. I definitely look back and I'm like, you didn't have to do that six times, diva. You knew the first time, like, as much as I'm every lesson Happens for a reason and whatever. There are definitely things in my life where I'm like, that could have been a shorter lesson, that you could have. You could have learned the same lesson in three months that it took you two years.

[Tana Mongeau]

But then that's really ingrained in you. You. That lesson, you know, it's true.

[Trisha Paytas]

And I'm. I don't want to change anything, but I definitely, like. I don't know. I think that sometimes we just naturally, as emotional people and caring people, try to, like, create closure, but in reality, sometimes the circumstance itself is the closure. And I love you, and I think that you should try everything under the sun and really, really deeply write down the reasons why you want to break. No contact. Are they good person? Did they give good advice? Were they there for you? Or are you just lonely and bored and used to this comfort? Like, just make sure with Plan B

[Tana Mongeau]

emergency contraception, we're in control of our future. It's backup birth control you take after

[Trisha Paytas]

unprotected sex that helps prevent pregnancy before it starts.

[Tana Mongeau]

It works by temporarily delaying ovulation, and it won't impact your future fertility.

[Trisha Paytas]

Plan B is available in all 50

[Tana Mongeau]

US states at all major retailers near

[Trisha Paytas]

you, with no ID, prescription, or age requirement needed.

[Tana Mongeau]

Together we've got this.

[Trisha Paytas]

Follow Plan B on Insta at Plan B.

[Tana Mongeau]

One step to learn more.

[Trisha Paytas]

Use as directed. What are your reasons? I think that's a really good way to start as well, because it's like, what if the only reasons are just that you were once comfortable in that and they suck?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

You know, Great advice. So. I love you. Don't do it. Mommy loves you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Call this number again if you need help during that dying thing. I was gonna call my ex. I'm gonna call. Not loveliness.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes.

[Tana Mongeau]

Call us A.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, don't do it. There's so many people out there. Unless they're amazing and you're in the wrong. We love you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, that's all the time we have here, Dan. Not Loveline. It was a great episode. We answered calls.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes.

[Tana Mongeau]

Did we get our cycle today, or was that the last episode where we were getting into that weird, like, cycle of just like, the last episode was

[Trisha Paytas]

our Trauma Bond episode. Today was kind of like thrifting X calls. And we love you guys so much for just being here, for all of it. And June the 2012th, we are going to be in Las Vegas. I don't care if you live in Maine. Get on a flight. Buy a ticket now.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, that was good. I love the begging approach. I think that's great.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. I'm begging, begging, begging. It's funny because next week I'll come back and be like, sorry for the begging.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's why I, like, sold out. Like, we can't get it. Hopefully. Wishful thinking. I cross my fingers. Good or bad? I cross my fingers. I don't know if that means good.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, I think. No, we're praying. We're hoping and praying. Some people do it when they lie, but we. But we're not like that. Okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

My fingers were crossed. It's like, what the hell does that mean?

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, my God. I used to do that. Like, I'd be in a relationship, I'd be like, I swear on everyone's life, I'm crossing my toes.

[Tana Mongeau]

That is so weird.

[Trisha Paytas]

I've learned a lot. Come to Vegas. Love you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Thereby.