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Welcome to Notes from the Edge where we have the conversations we should have been having all along. We talk about the things that we're not talking about. I'm your host, Lisa Lacey, writer, trauma educator, executive advisor, and author of the upcoming memoir, Notes from a Certified Mad Woman. Welcome to the Edge. Hey. Hey, my friends. Welcome back to Notes from the Edge. I am your host, Lisa Lacey, and this is the place where we talk about the things we should have been talking about all along. In here, we say the stuff that you guys aren't saying, but it might help you if you did. Some survival strategies do not look like survival at all. Sometimes they look like competence. They look like being the reliable one, the person who solves the problems. The fixer remembers the details. You look put together well. Today's guest, Lauren Silverman, spent nearly two decades working in technology, program management and digital transformation. And he became very good at pushing through, solving complicated problems and just placing one foot in front of the other. We talk about that a lot in here, guys. But eventually he realized, and I love this, persistence without awareness can become a trap. So today, Lauren is a transformational life coach. We know how important those are. And the founder of Silverman Coach, where he helps nerds, geeks, overthinkers and overwhelmed professionals trade chaos for clarity. Who doesn't love some clarity? Create some real boundaries that actually work and follow through with what actually matters to them. He's also the creator of Life Reboot nerd edition, a 90 day coaching experience built around pausing, reassessing, and creating meaningful change through small, repeatable choices. See, we get our choice back in here no matter what trauma we have survived, rather than dramatic overhauls. So this conversation is for those of you who are doing it all but feeling exhausted. My friend. Lauren, welcome to Notes from the Edge. How are you today?
B
I'm wonderful. Thanks for having me.
A
Yeah, yeah, thanks for being here. Always enjoy you guys who are taking what you've learned and gotten here in a non linear way. So let's talk about that first because not necessarily your origin story, but what was the moment you decided, all right, I want to get out of all this technical work that I'm doing and actually help people make transformation. When did that click for you?
B
Yeah, so I'd been working in the enterprise, excuse me, in the enterprise digital transformation ecosystem for about two decades when Russia invaded Ukraine and my entire development team was Ukrainian. And I kind of saw their lives get turned upside down. And I, as the program lead, started looking into some contingency plans, make sure that they're safe, make sure that they can still work. Trying to figure all that out. And the corporate leadership team that I was working for, rather than do that, even though I created a whole plan around it, wanted to find a different team in a more stable environment, either local or near shore. And that just didn't sit right with me. So I started googling, how can Americans help Ukrainians? And two weeks later, I was on a flight landing in Krakow, Poland. I hooked up with a British transportation company. There were no US kind of services people that had gone over there. So I hooked up with a British transport company, drove to the border, and then spent the better part of the week transporting people, refugees that had come over from Ukraine to Poland, to doctor's appointments, to safe houses, to family members. I had an opportunity to drive a British marine from, from the border who had just come back from fighting and volunteering on the front lines, completely traumatized. Guy had the opportunity to drive him four hours to Warsaw so he could get a flight back home. And when he sat in the car and said, do you mind if I close my eyes? And I said, absolutely not. And I saw his whole demeanor change. It was like the first rest that he'd probably gotten in just eight ages. The first time he felt safe clicked for me. Even in the technology space, even in all of the stuff that I had been doing before, I enjoyed seeing the people that I was working with succeed. I enjoyed seeing them thrive and helping them get there. I'd like seeing my direct reports become VPs or start their own businesses. And that's when it clicked for me that I was not following my actions, were not following my values. My actions working in the tech world and working for these companies whose values I didn't subscribe to created a lot of friction in my life. So once I kind of realized that and aligned values with my actions, it led me to coaching so I could help other people avoid that burnout trap and align their values with their actions so that they could really live the life that they want to.
A
I love that. And congratulations for finding your way into what you're trying to true mission is you bring up values. So let's talk a little about values. Because knowing our values, knowing your top five values is something I, I work with people on. But a lot of people don't even know what their values are, right? You ask the question, what are your values? They're like, I don't, I don't know. So how do you help people determine? And how can other people listening figure out what Their values are.
B
A lot of times I give them a list and that is something that has helped me. When I first kind of got into trauma therapy and really working on some old stuff and old tropes that, that I believed about myself, I didn't know how I felt. I didn't know what emotion to, to to say. And I had to kind of like look at a list and pick and choose from like a wheel of 60 different emotions which one felt right. So if you're not really sure what your values are, I have an exercise I, I call them quests. Kind of goes along with the whole life Reboot Nerd Edition, which is like a combo of Dungeons and Dragons meets coaching.
A
I love that. How fun is that?
B
Yeah. So I give people quests or we have main quests that we want to accomplish. These are our main goals. One of the first quests that I, that I give people that I'm working with is a, is a values to voice guide so that they can learn what their values are. And I give them a list of values that kind of trigger and help, you know, them come up with what resonates with them. And once you find out where your values are, it is much, much easier to align your actions to those. And it's, there's not a magic trick, but the friction just kind of melts away because you're doing things that you're aligned with that feel right, that feel good, that make you feel good, that you know that's how you want to show up in the world. So you know that that's kind of how we start.
A
I love it. You start off with values and then you kind of use that as, as the map to determine are you, where you're going to serve your, your best purpose, that that's going to bring you the, the peace and the joy and the, the meaning. Because when we have meaning and purpose, we are not stuck in hopelessness. And when we have hope, we stay around. And we talk a lot about that in this space too. So I love, and I love turning everything into a game and a. The work fun because sometimes the work can feel a little trudgy. So when you turn it into a quest, it changes it.
B
Yeah, I mean, you know, I like to say we're the heroes of our own story. Right. So when you start working with the Life reboot Neutered Edition, you do a character sheet like you're doing a dungeon Dragons role playing game type thing and you create the character based on how I've mapped communication to dexterity. And different dungeons and dragon terms and tropes and you do regular coaching and then you kind of see your character level up in real life. Your quests earn you XP points. You apply those XP points to the different areas that you're working on and different goals that you're setting.
A
You get points, guys, you get points.
B
You get points. You get, you get points. You get tokens. Little, little campaign complete or origin beacon awards that I've created and I 3D print. Just fun to have like a little tactile reminder of what you've done. And yeah, I have a lot of fun with it.
A
Oh, fun, yes. And friends, I, I want to highlight and this comes up often in our space, the difference between, say, talk therapy and your deep level trauma work and a transformational coach is this. If you want to take a look backwards and see what has occurred, what has happened, maybe why your patterns are the way that they are. You know, talk therapy is a rite of passage to, to take a look backwards. It was transformational coaches that really made the exponential change for me. Primarily because when I started working with transformational coaches and it's why I love talking to them now on the podcast, it's why I became one. We are interested in forward mom momentum. We want to move you forward. So Lauren has created a great way to move you forward. That sounds so fun and I, I love that you turned it into a game because sometimes it can feel like a trudge. So you spent two decades, that's 20 years. That's a chunk of change of your life in technology and digital transformation. When did healthy persistence, right, the push, the, the keep going, the suck it up, toughen up, keep going. When, when did you realize for you it became self abandonment. And how can other people recognize that in themselves?
B
Yeah, it stopped being fun. It stopped, I stopped enjoying going to work. I. It just became a grind and a drag. And you know, we've kind of been told in our culture, at least I was growing up, that, you know, the grind is how you succeed. And you know, especially in technology, enterprise technology, there's such a grind culture and you know, heroics, staying up until 4am to get the release, you know, out the door and you know, the product shipped. And yet all of these companies say up front, if you look at any of their about us, they tout, you know, people first kind of culture. And I've yet to truly find, I found a lot of camaraderie. I found a lot of friends I've yet to truly find in the space that I was working in a truly, like, people first culture. So you kind of have to create your own. But for me, I was like, it just stopped being fun. I stopped enjoying going and, and doing the things that used to excite me and light me up.
A
That's a, that's a, a very important point, guys. And let's not gloss over is possible to get paid for things that light you up, but sometimes it requires you to heal yourself, work on you, and then take some really big leaps into trusting yourself. And many of us working in this space have had to do that, take the really big leap to leave what we were doing. I left the corporate environment to do what I do now because it. Well, in my situation, Lauren, my corporate gig was supposed to be temporary and 30 years went by, right. Because it paid, paid the bills and it paid the bills well. And I was like, okay, I'll just stay in the grind and work 20 hour days and deal with the stuff that came along with it. So I love that. Look at, you know, is it, Are you wanting to get up to go do it in the morning? It can be that simple. And that's a good reality check for people. Are you doing something that lights you up?
B
Yeah. And, and I would say, you know, I mean, I don't get up every single day bouncy and, and excited for the day. You know, I'm a human being and sometimes I have things that I'm dealing with. But if it starts to become a pattern of like day after day after day, you don't, you know, you don't get excited to get out of bed, then you should really look at what you're doing.
A
Yeah. And guys, I highly encourage you to work with mentorship, somebody kind of guiding you as you begin your healing journey. So I now still have a team. I have a holistic psychiatrist. We do meds when necessary, we do supplements when we can. I have a business coach, I have a personal coach, so. And I had a therapist, different therapists every couple of years for a very long time. So get a team under you and make sure they're where you want to be. You know, if they, if they're where you want to be and enjoying life in a way that you see, wow, I want that. And yeah, Lauren, I'm not up every morning doing cartwheels because I'm not a morning person. I need my coffee first. But I'm also not up every morning going, I don't want to do this is a big difference.
B
Totally. Yeah. It's a huge, huge difference.
A
Yes. I at least wake up and go, what do I have to do today?
B
Yeah. And I do want to say, or at least predicate, because you'd mentioned, you know, talk therapy, you know, leading into. Into transformational coaching. You know, I. I kind of started this journey. The pandemic allowed me to take some real time in 2021 to do some deep trauma work. And that is the work that allowed me to take the risk to fly to Poland, you know, on two weeks notice.
A
Yeah. Friends, if. And listen, trauma is simply part of the human experience, and we all have it to varying degrees. Once we hear each other's stories, we would know why. But it is part of the human experience. It just. It just is. And if you have not done work around it, I guarantee you it's showing up. It's showing up in your relationships, it's showing up at work, and it's showing up in the things that you say and do. And you might be on autopilot with it instead of making what Lauren points out, the conscious choices. Because as children, many of our choices might have been taken away from us, but as adults, we get to make choices. So, Lauren, you work with nerds, geeks, overthinkers, love that. And overwhelmed professionals. Is overthinking the inability to make a decision, or is it an attempt to avoid vulnerability? Talk to us about the overthinking mind and how you work with that.
B
So to answer both of your questions, the answer is yes, it is both of those. Avoidance. Right. So the number of people that, That I work with that just feel scattered and overwhelmed and don't know what direction to take, it's usually a cover for some kind of fear of. Of something. Fear of judgment, fear of. Of a failure. I don't know that I subscribe to the fear of success trope. You know, I know a lot of people say that their fear, their fear of success, but I don't really haven't met anyone that's like, oh, I'm so scared of succeeding. You know, they're scared of failing, right? Yeah. So. So. So, though, those are. Those are the things that cover up the truth. That one of the exercises I have is a. Is a future. Is a current Facts vs Future Fear worksheet. So you kind of like, look at, what is it that you're like, what's the reality? Because people will be like, I don't have time for this. Everyone has the same amount of time. You might just have a priority question, like, what's important to you? What should you do next? Or you Might think that the thing is too big to accomplish. And that's where the overwhelm comes from. Break it down into the smallest next task. What's the thing that you can do in the next 20 minutes to move that action forward? You know, so, so, yeah, but most. Most of the time, that, that's just. It's just a cover for.
A
For fear. I love that. Overthinking is sometimes a cover for fear. I love that. I love that. So people often say they. They need better time management or they don't have time. You hear that all the time. I don't have time. I don't have time. I don't have time. But you believe they have what you just said, a priority or values alignment problem.
B
Yeah.
A
Talk to us about that.
B
Yeah. So we all have 24 hours in the day. There is no more time afforded to people that are more productive versus people that are not as productive. We all have 24 hours in the day, so we don't have a time problem. It's like, what are we going to work on next? And a lot of times the thing that we think we should work on doesn't align with our values. So it creates this friction. It's like, doesn't. It doesn't feel easy. So when things don't feel easy, we resist them. We don't want to fail. We don't want things to be hard. We want things to be smooth and frictionless. So if you can get those. That misalignment of values and actions to, you know, to line up, you don't have that friction of the two things kind of bouncing against each other. Knowing what your values are helps with your priorities.
A
Absolutely.
B
So if you kind of align your values and then fig, you know, that'll help you figure out what your priorities are. You'll realize that it's not a time issue because we all have the same amount of time. It's. It's a. It's a what. What should I be doing? What do I want?
A
So you didn't want to do it issue?
B
Yeah. Yeah. What do I wanted? It's not knowing what to do next, so figuring out what it is to do next. And again, like, if it feels too big, shrink it. You don't have to do. You don't have to do the whole diet overhaul. You don't have to start the Monday, you know, I'm doing no carbs thing. Maybe skip pasta this week. Do something that's achievable. Do something that proves to yourself that you can do it. Because People get caught in that trap of proving to themselves that they can't do it. That reinforces that, you know, vicious cycle of, well, it didn't work out last time, so I might as well be like, that's going to be too hard for me to try to figure out,
A
not even try again. Yeah, well, and we set ourselves up for failure when we take it all on at once and then we only last a week and then don't succeed. And then you're right, we might get stuck in that loop of, well, it was me, it was my fault, I can't again. Some of that childhood were coming up in those wounds, showing up. But yeah, you're. You're absolutely right. I love the fact that you start with validation values and you use those as a map. And I love the word alignment because you're right. When the work that you are doing, when the relationships that you have, when the hobbies that you have are in alignment with who you are, there is so much more ease in your life and way less friction. You're absolutely right. Right.
B
Totes.
A
Yep. Yep. Yeah. All right, so you now teach people to create change through those small, repeatable conscious choices instead of the massive overhauls. So for if somebody's listening right now and they're feeling stuck, they're feeling exhausted, what is one manageable action that they can take today to start feeling change, feeling a difference, finding those things that light them up.
B
Yeah. I would look for a low hanging fruit. So instead of the big overhaul or, you know, the big change, look for something that's achievable and reachable and that feels good to you. You know, could be like, whoops, I knocked my microphone out. It could be like I said, you know, just skip pasta this week. Or it could be make that one phone call that I've been avoiding. Or it could even be, put the phone call in my calendar. Oh, yeah, tomorrow. Right. So it could be just whatever is the next smallest step. And if you keep asking yourself, well, this is the whole thing that needs to get done, what's smaller than that? What's smaller than that? What's smaller than that? If I only had 20 minutes, what could I do? If I only had five minutes, what could I do?
A
And then that gets you started.
B
That gets you started. And that's the ball rolling and that's the momentum and that's proving to yourself that you can do these small, repeatable
A
moves and then they build on each other.
B
Exactly.
A
Yeah. I love that. I love that. Well, Lauren, how, how can people find you if they want to work. We're going to put it all here. Guys, you don't have to write this down, but I want Lauren to let you know if you guys are looking for a transformational coach, how can people find you? And then we're going to talk more about the programs that you have because it sounds like you have a couple of things going on that you do.
B
I do. Yeah. So anyone can schedule a free 30 minute session with me at Silverman Coach. We'll work on a real issue that you have. See if there's alignment between us and how I work and how you work and go from there. They can find out more about me@silvermancoach.com so silverman.coach to schedule silvermancoach.com to learn more info.
A
And we'll put those links where they're just clickable. Guys. You don't even have to write that down. So Lauren, you have a couple of different ways you work with people. Talk to us about that.
B
Yeah. So I do one on one coaching that is tailored to an individual's goals. If they are of the nerd type and want to do the Life reboot Nerd Edition program, they could do that. Which includes one on one coaching each week. And then I have a group program that I run periodically when I get a cohort together. And that takes my experience of moving from New York into Arizona, not knowing anyone, taking some risks and starting one of the largest board game meetup groups that we have here in Arizona. I had gotten 80 people to show up on a weekly basis.
A
Whoa.
B
Take over a bar and play board.
A
It ain't Easy to get 80 people into action consistently. Yeah, yeah.
B
So this is the other program. So I have Life reboot Nerd Edition one on one coaching which could be tailored to you. And then building connections is the group program where we just take that experience and people who are like have some difficulty or some social awkwardness or challenges, kind of building that friend and support group. I teach you how to do that.
A
Talk to us about support and how important it is on this journey. Having support and having human connection. Guys.
B
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. I mean, I can't say enough about that. I rely so much on, on my friend group, my family group, you know, was so important for me to coming out of that trauma work to have like I moved from New York because I wanted something completely different than what I was experiencing my whole life. And Arizona is pretty different. The pace of life is different. And you know, it took a lot to kind of get Myself here and then to take the risk to introduced myself to people every week that were coming to the meetup and watch it grow from eight people to two dozen to ultimately 80. But there was a real risk in that of putting myself out there. And, yeah, that's having done that. I've also seen how that. And I've heard from good friends of mine or people that have become good friends of mine. You saved me. I didn't have a group of people to call my own, and your board game meetup allowed me to meet my friend group. So having those people in your life to bounce ideas off of, to rely on, you know, you gotta have people in your corner. It's all about connection.
A
Yeah. And you do need people to have your back on this in this journey. When I actually went to inpatient rehabilitation, it was a dual diagnosis center for mental health and addiction in Arizona. Love Arizona. We.
B
We might be the same person,
A
but listen to this. So I'm on the plane, and I. I worked as a healthcare consultant, so of course I got my records before I left. And I'm getting to the last page, and I went in thinking I had a slight drinking problem and a bad marriage. That was not the case. I came out with a jar like this there and so many disorders, and, man, the last page, though, just was like, oh. Because it said, prognosis for recovery, poor to none due to lack of familial support. That's how important support is. On any journey that we take. A big move can be stressful. Addiction recovery, trauma recovery. You want other human. You want to know that other humans have your back when those heavy days hit. And I don't care how long you've been doing those work, they're gonna hit. You know, you're gonna have your 20 days. And that's where your community comes in. Because sometimes just being around them and just, you know, talking about what's going on in your life can utterly change the trajectory of your day and. And how you feel. So. So community is so important, and that's why I love the podcasting arena, because it is humans connecting, and it. It has been such a cool experience. Well, Lauren, is there anything else that you want to add? Because before we close, we have two questions that we ask all of our guests. Is there anything else you want to add to the people that might be out there feeling stuck?
B
Yeah, I mean, I think the conversation we just had around connection. If you feel stuck or scattered, it's not a crime to ask for help. It's not a Crime to reach out. And having an accountability buddy, like I like to say, is super, super important. Just having someone that you can say, hey, I'm planning on doing this tomorrow. And then someone that you could say, hey, I did the thing, you know, have that. That that person or persons is so key to just achieving what you want to achieve.
A
Yeah. And find people that will also call you out on your bs. I'm surrounded by friends who will. And so they'll say, do you want to be right today or do you want the truth? I'll be like, yeah, I want to be right. And then the next day they're like. I'm like, okay, I was the asshole in that situation. They're like, yes, absolutely, you were. So you have both. They support you, but they also call you out on your BS if you call them that day and go, I'm going to do this, they go, yeah, that's probably not a good idea. You want people in corner that can do both. For sure.
B
Yeah. Coming out of. Coming out of my. My treatment In Arizona in 2021, I still every Sunday get together with like, the people that were in my primary therapy group. So every Sunday we just get together and check in. It's not, you know, necessarily, you know, anything formal. It's just like, this is what's going on with me. This is what I need help with, or I'm doing great and just want to share that, you know.
A
Yeah. Yeah. Well, my husband and I met each other with both only 30 days clean, and we 13th stepped our way into a healthy marriage. But we are each other's accountability partners. And it definitely comes in handy to be alongside somebody who is also on. On the sobriety journey because he does his work, I do my work. We meet in the middle, and it works.
B
I met my partner in my coaching certification course.
A
Did you. Oh, my go see, guys. Okay, get out there. Get some help. Get it. Get out of the shame spiral of asking for help. There is nothing shameful about needing support and help. And I spent 30 years in the corporate environment and I had all the things, the money, the cars, the toy, all of it. And that's not what I needed. I needed other humans to know the truth. That's why we talk about the truth in here. And I needed people to have my back. And I'm going to say something, folks. Observation is not neutral. That's quantum physics. It's quantum mechanics. If you will take a. A brutal look, a brutal excavation of yourself to determine you would look around and go, wow, you know What? I'm not really digging this. That's hard to do sometimes. It requires brutal honesty. And then reach out to people like Lauren to help guide you to the next step. We're simply not built to do this journey alone. And I think we have a loneliness epidemic right now. We're so connected, but we've never been more disconnected, I feel. Are you feeling that?
B
Oh, yeah.
A
Yeah. That's why it's so important to. To ask for the help, to reach for the support and observe in your own life where you might need to be more fulfilled. And I promise you this, once you observe it, because observation is not neutral, it already starts to shift for you, and the opportunities will start showing up for you. All right, Lauren, two questions. You ready?
B
Go for it.
A
All right, the first one is, in your own life, what did you perform in order to survive? And what did dropping that role, mask, or performance do to change your life?
B
Yeah, so I just became super competent about everything that I could. So, you know, I was the trusted go to authority. I was the answer person. And dropping that and being myself and being authentic gave me genuine peace and happiness.
A
Oh, I just felt. I just got chills when you said that because you so mean it. There's so much freedom in dropping the map masks and. And having congruency across. Now, that's not, say, going to a board meeting and trauma dump in the board meeting. That's not what we're saying, folks. But there is a sense of peace and freedom that comes from being yourself in. In all the arenas of your life. So. And competence can be camouflaged for a lot of stuff. Yeah, yeah, it can be camouflaged.
B
Trying to hold it all together.
A
Yeah. Buy it by a thread sometimes, because I was. I was by a thread. But on the surface, it. It. I. I had made it. Right. I made it. Yeah. And. And by the time I told somebody I had done such a good job of plastering the. The veneer, the pictures on Facebook, and people were like, what's happening in the background? I'm like, yeah. I mean, I had done such a good job of. Of holding up the masks that some people were like, I don't believe it. I don't believe that you've been dealing with all of this behind the scenes. So, friends, if you are feeling the loneliness epidemic, there is no shame in saying, I need help. I need support. I need friends, any community. I need mentor. I need guidance. Yeah. All right, second question. What do you wish we were having conversations about more often? What do we really need to be talking about.
B
I think we've, I think we covered at least the beginning of that here. It's the connection factor. It's the tribal nature of our being. It's the not to be sheeple but, you know, find your people.
A
I love that.
B
You know, like we need to be talking about, you know, saying I love you to, to your friends, whether they're male or female, you know, like just being connected. That's what makes the world so beautiful. That's what makes life so beautiful. It's the people that you surround yourself with and who have your back and whose back you have.
A
That's exactly right, my friend. Because when it is all said and done, I, I live with a congenital blood disease, I face my mortality every day. And this last near death experience at the beginning of the year just really made me realize when it is all said and done, it is not going to be the things you're thinking about, my friends, not the house, not the car. It's going to be the people in your life, the memories you have. And what you don't want is for some of your regrets to be the memories with those people that you missed out on. So be sure to grab those. Well, Lauren, thank you so much for being a guest on Notes from the Edge. Guys didn't need to write it down. We're gonna put everything about Lauren in here and you can just click directly to work with him. It sounds like he set up something that is so much fun to do. So if you need some mentorship, you need a transformational coach, you need some guidance, you are feeling stuck, reach out to Lauren. In the meantime, I'm your host, Lisa Lacey. Don't forget, ask yourself, what are you performing in order to survive and what would dropping that role masker performance possibly do to enhance your life? And when you answer that, welcome to the Edge. We'll see you next time.
Podcast Summary: Notes from the Edge – "The Competence Trap" with Loren Silverman
Host: Lisa Lacy
Guest: Loren Silverman, Transformational Life Coach
Release Date: July 24, 2026
In this deeply honest episode, host Lisa Lacy dives into the often hidden costs of competence with transformational life coach Loren Silverman. Together, they dismantle the myth that always being "the reliable one" leads to fulfillment, and explore how survival strategies can disguise themselves as hyper-responsibility and burnout, especially for high achievers and “overthinkers.” Loren shares his unconventional path from tech leader to trauma-informed coach, the importance of aligning values with actions, practical ways to create real change, and the non-negotiable need for authentic connection and support.
On values and alignment
On overthinking as self-protection
On competence as a mask
On connection
On radical honesty
Lisa and Loren end by urging listeners to examine what roles they’re performing just to survive, and to imagine the freedom that comes with dropping the mask—moving towards authenticity, community, and aligned purpose.
“Ask yourself: What are you performing in order to survive—and what would dropping that role ... do to enhance your life? And when you answer that, welcome to the Edge.” – Lisa Lacy (36:38)
For those feeling stuck, exhausted, or "too competent," this episode reminds us: You don't have to go it alone. Small steps, authentic connection, and honest self-reflection are where real transformation begins.