B (5:56)
And let it go good. Our story tonight is called the Joy of Missing out and it's a story about recharging your body when your battery has run down. It's also about frost on the windows, reading a favorite book snuggled deep under the covers, being honest about what you need and giving others permission to do the same. The Joy of Missing out we were a week or so away from Thanksgiving and it felt like Halloween was yesterday and that Christmas would be tomorrow. As much as I loved this time of year, sometimes it seemed like a mad gallop rushing from October to the New Year and I wanted to slow it down and savor it before it was gone. So instead of picking apples for next week's pies at the orchard, or heading to downtown to stroll the streets and watch the shopkeepers put together their holiday window displays, or meeting friends coming into town for dinner, or a hundred other things that I am thoroughly fond of, I am instead relaxing into the joy of missing out. I realized this morning as I sipped my coffee in bed that my battery had run out. I just didn't have the energy to do today, and at first I resisted it, feeling like I should push myself up and into my clothes and out of the door and that if I did maybe I would find the energy. But I realized even if I did I wasn't likely to find the joy. I could put one foot in front of the other but couldn't put an honest smile on my face. No, I needed a deep factory reset, and in the moment I surrendered to that I felt myself relaxing. I hadn't even realized that I'd been wearing my shoulders like earrings tensing against the day. As I let my shoulders and my guard down, I breathed deeper. I felt a warm thank you for listening from my body spreading through my limbs. I would make no plans today and I would cancel the ones I did have. I drank till my cup was empty, pushed it onto my bedside table, and slid back down into my sheets. They were still warm and puffed up from a night of sleeping and I burrowed in till just my head was out. There was frost on the window this morning and I spent some time just looking at it, watching how the light of the rising sun struck and bounced off of it. I could feel that given its druthers, my body would not have awoken this early and that there might be a way back into sleep. I took my book from the table and curled up around it, keeping as much of me as possible in my cocoon of blankets. As I opened it and began to read, a memory from childhood ran through my mind of the first time I read a whole chapter on my own. It had been a morning like this one, frost on the windows and me tucked up in bed with a thin chapter book. I remember fumbling my way through the words I didn't recognize, sounding them out slowly but determinedly until I turned a page and found a big two marking the start of the next chapter. I had felt so proud it felt like I had reached a turning point. I could read now, all by myself and whenever I wanted. I thought of little Me smiling at her book all those years ago and felt so tender toward her and grateful as I was still turning pages and enjoying stories all these years later. My current read was one I read every autumn. It didn't matter if I was right in the middle of another book, if I had a tall stack waiting for me beside the bed, if the pages were starting to be dog eared and the spine cracked once. It felt crisp and the leaves turned. I plucked this one from the shelf and treated myself to a long dip into its world, which was full of mystery and magic and near misses and impossible love. As my eyes moved over the lines on the page, I felt my eyelids drooping. I kept starting over, rereading a line, opening my eyes again until I finally let the book fall onto the comforter beside me and drifted. I dreamt in a swirl of snow and colors, nothing concrete enough to form into a storyline but with the atmosphere of Christmas, a sea of trees lit up on a mountainside and excitement and sleigh bells. When I woke again, I felt replete. I stretched my limbs in bed and took deep breaths at the window. Tying my robe around me, I watched cars coming and going. A neighbor, wrapped in a huge parka with a scarf slipping down his back, was unpacking boxes of twinkle lights and a whole herd of reindeer onto his front lawn. I smiled as I scooped up my cold cup from beside the bed and felt how lovely it was to be missing out on all of that today. In the kitchen, I started a fresh pot of coffee and sprinkled a good bit of cinnamon in with the grounds as it brewed. The house filled with the lovely roasty, sweet scent, and I sent a couple of messages to cancel the plans I'd had for that evening. I did it without the least bit of regret or guilt, just knowing I was doing what I needed to do to take care of myself. The responses came back with little hearts and thumbs up. No one was mad. No one was expecting more of me than I could give. In fact, one friend gratefully said she'd decided to stay home, too, that I'd given her the nudge she needed to slow down. That's the thing about just being honest about what you need. When you do, you give others permission to do the same, and we all get a little closer to having those needs met. I thought of things I might like to do while missing out. Watch old movies. Take a long hot bath. Fill up the bird feeders. Do the crossword puzzle, maybe cook something. Or maybe just order something tasty that could be delivered right to my door. That sounded like plenty for a full day of doing nothing much. Yes. Before I knew it, I'd be putting up the tree, rushing to a holiday concert, making a New Year's resolution. Well, here was an early resolution I thought I might be able to stick to. Every now and then, when I felt the need, I would politely absent myself from the busy world and remember how to rest. The joy of missing out. We were a week or so away from Thanksgiving, and it felt like Halloween was yesterday and that Christmas would be tomorrow. As much as I loved this time of year, sometimes it seemed like a mad gallop rushing from October to the new Year, and I wanted to slow it down and savor it before it was gone. So instead of picking apples for next week's pies at the Orchard or heading to downtown to stroll the streets and watch the shopkeepers put together their holiday window displays or meet friends coming into town for dinner or a hundred other things that I am thoroughly fond of, I am instead relaxing into the joy of missing out. I realized this morning as I sipped my coffee in bed that my battery had run out. I just didn't have the energy to do today, and at first I resisted it, feeling like I should push myself up and into my clothes and out of the door, and that if I did maybe I would find the energy. But I realized even if I did, I wasn't likely to find the joy. I could put one foot in front of the other but couldn't put an honest smile on my face. No, I needed a deep factory reset, and in the moment I surrendered to that, I felt myself relaxing. I hadn't even realized that I'd been wearing my shoulders like earrings, tensing against the day. As I let my shoulders and my guard down, I breathed deeper and felt a warm thank you for listening from my body spreading through my limbs. I would make no plans today.