A new book of poems by Kate Baer wrestles with the realities of middle age

Summary

NPR’s Book of the Day: Kate Baer and the Realities of Middle Age

Episode Date: December 11, 2025
Host: Andrew Limbong
Guest: Kate Baer (poet, author of How About Now?)
Location: Midtown Scholar Bookstore, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

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Episode Overview

This episode spotlights poet Kate Baer and her latest collection, How About Now?, which grapples candidly with the complexities and contradictions of middle age. Speaking with NPR's Scott Jetrow in the beloved Midtown Scholar bookstore, Baer reflects on vulnerability, chafing against literary conventions, and the evolving boundaries between her art and personal life. Through intimate readings and honest conversation, Baer explores themes of time, self-acceptance, family, and the challenge of embracing one's own story.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kate Baer’s Connection to Bookstores and Browsing Habits

• [02:20] Baer starts the conversation by discussing her love for bookstores, particularly Midtown Scholar where the interview takes place.
  • She describes her routine: “I always go to new releases first. And then I do poetry.” – Kate Baer
• Since becoming a published author, she feels more skeptical about blurbs:
  • “I don't believe blurbs as much, because now I see how blurbs are exchanged.” [02:34]

2. On Sharing Shelf Space with Renowned Poets

• [03:14] Baer expresses gratitude and disbelief at seeing her works alongside poetry icons:
  • “It never ceases to amaze me that I get to share shelf space with incredible poets like Ada Limón, Sharon Olds, Wanda Coleman... It’s such a privilege.”

3. Vulnerability in Writing and Family Reactions

• Reading from her poem “to Senda” (paraphrased):
  • “I typed my dirty secrets onto the page. My mother said, I don't particularly like that poem. My husband said, oh, wow. My children said, I don't know why I can’t read any of your books.” [03:37]
• On the writer’s dilemma of what to reveal and what to shield:
  • “It's a very tricky and hard line...when you’re writing from personal experience.” [04:34]
  • She tries to balance honesty with protecting others, especially her children: “I try to write from a place of deep honesty and share as much as I can... But I do definitely keep things to myself, especially about my children. I just try to keep it from my perspective.”

4. Balancing Life, Art, and Privacy

• The “write as if your parents are dead” advice is weighed against Baer’s reality:
  • “My in-laws live 15 minutes away. And so there is a very tricky line there about who I'm protecting.”
• The good writing lies in honesty, even when there’s discomfort: “That's where the good stuff is.” [04:34]

5. Humor and Truth in Long-Term Relationships

• Discussion around the humor and truth of her poem, You used to text me for nudes, but now it’s just for information for our taxes:
  • “There’s very few times in a writer’s life...where the angels kind of sing... When I wrote the last two lines...‘Put your mouth to the horn and call me back to you,’ I heard the angels sing. I thought, oh, that's it. That's what I was trying to say.” – Kate Baer [06:14]
• This poem exemplifies how ordinary life evolves and how poetry can capture its poignancy and humor.

6. Contentment, Aging, and Existential Reflection

• Baer unpacks the book’s recurrent theme: wrestling with contentment and the uncertainties of middle age:
  • “A lot of us, when we're reaching middle age, are kind of grappling with that. You're kind of holding both the feeling of, I've never been more myself... While also... facing my own mortality.” [07:13]
  • She reflects on her personal health scares in her late 30s and how these catalyzed a “midlife crisis” and deeper self-examination.
  • Questions of purpose persist: “Have I done what I’ve wanted to do? Am I who I've always wanted to be? So, yeah, I think that's very relatable.” [07:13]

7. Writing as a Form of Processing and Healing

• On whether poetry brings clarity or more questions:
  • “I think both things happen. It really depends... The more I talk about whatever it is, the easier and the quicker I can reach a conclusion.” – Kate Baer [08:23]
  • Repeated writing is akin to conversations with friends: “The more we repeat those stories, we kind of come to a peace about it and an understanding.”

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Featured Quote & Reading: “How About Now?”

• The book opens with a quote from Cher: “do everything you can do now,” and ends with the title poem.
• [09:15] Baer reads her poem “How About Now?”:

  “We are born dying, which is one way to look at it. Another is to wake up knowing we are made of impossible things. Crystal caves, singing dunes, dark matter held in mortal hope.
  It’s true. Time has a way of making lists and ledgers. And you say you want a garden. Beds of lavender and daffodils.
  You say we have a lifetime love. We’re in our lifetime. How about now?”

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Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes

• On blurbs' authenticity:

  “It's not that they're not authentic all the time. It's that there are lots of networks in publishing, just like in every industry.” – Kate Baer [02:41]

• On honesty and vulnerability:

  “I try to write from a place of deep honesty and share as much as I can about my life because I find that’s where the good stuff is.” – Kate Baer [04:34]

• On the writer’s epiphany moment:

  “When I wrote the last two lines of that poem...I heard the angels sing. I thought, oh, that's it. That's what I was trying to say.” – Kate Baer [06:14]

• On middle age’s complexity:

  “You're kind of holding both the feeling of, I've never been more myself... While also... facing my own mortality.” – Kate Baer [07:13]

• On writing and peace:

  “The more we repeat those stories, we kind of come to a peace about it and an understanding.” – Kate Baer [08:23]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:20] – Baer on bookstore routines and changing perspective on book blurbs
• [03:14] – Reflections on shelf space alongside poetry’s heavyweights
• [03:37] – Reading and unpacking the poem “to Senda”
• [04:34] – Discussing privacy, honesty, and protecting family in her poetry
• [06:14] – The origin and impact of the poem on long-term partnership
• [07:13] – Grappling with contentment, identity, and aging
• [08:23] – Writing as emotional resolution
• [09:15] – Title poem reading: “How About Now?”

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Conclusion

Spirited, vulnerable, and deeply honest, Kate Baer’s interview captures the universal search for meaning in the messy middle of life. Her poetry—and the discussions behind its creation—offers comfort and camaraderie to anyone navigating change, cherishing connection, and asking, “How about now?”

Transcript

[A]

Hey, it's NPR's Book of the Day. I'm Andrew Limbong. Longtime listeners of the POD will know that writers will sometimes give, I don't know, writerly answers to questions about craft. Right. Like they'll say stuff like, oh, the story just told me where to go, or the character led me to that point. Sometimes I buy it, other times I don't. But in today's interview, I believe the author 100%. It's with the poet Kate Beyer, whose new collection is titled How About Now? And it's Different Meditations on Middle Age. And she tells NPR Scott Jetrow that there are two lines of poetry in this collection that when she wrote them, she heard the angels sing. How can you not buy that? More after the break.

[B]

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[D]

When I lived and worked in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, I always loved spending time at Midtown Scholar. It is one of my favorite bookstores in the world. It's a converted old theater with cozy wooden walls, several floors of books, a stage, a balcony filled with little tables and a coffee shop. Midtown Scholar is also one of poet Kate Baer's favorite bookstores. So on a rainy day last week, we met there to talk.

[E]

I always go to new releases first.

[F]

Okay.

[E]

And then I do poetry.

[D]

Behr is a best selling poet who lives in central Pennsylvania.

[F]

Has the way you browse a bookstore changed as you've become more of an established author?

[E]

I don't believe blurbs. Maybe I shouldn't say that I don't believe blurbs as much, because now I see how blurbs are exchanged.

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

And it's not that they're not authentic all the time. It's that there are lots of networks in publishing, just like in every industry. And so I'm not as much picking up a book and saying, oh, they said it was good. So I know it's good. It's. It's more. I think it's more of like a subjective. Are we going upstairs?

[F]

I think so.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

We head up to the balcony to talk with her about her latest book of poems. How about now? Sitting in the poetry section, her name and. And her books are prominently featured alongside other heavyweights.

[E]

It never ceases to amaze me that I get to share shelf space with incredible poets like Ada Limone, Sharon Olds, Wanda Coleman, all these wonderful poets. It's incredible, and it's such a privilege.

[D]

Behr's new book is filled with poems that wrestle on the page with the realities of middle age and what it means to be vulnerable. She takes that head on in this poem to Senda.

[E]

I typed my dirty secrets onto the page. My mother said, I don't particularly like that poem. My husband said, oh, wow. My children said, I don't know why I can't read any of your books. There is a complaint among the writers on Kith and kin not reading any of their books. Oh, if I could, I'd slice myself in two. One for my life and one for you.

[F]

I wanted you to read that because there's several poems in this book along that theme. And you write so openly about your life. You write in ways that really are vulnerable, that just put everything out there. And you also live your life. And there are several poems at that intersection. I'm wondering how that's changed over the years, how you think about what's material and what isn't and what goes in the book and what doesn't and what is too private and what is something that you just have to address in place. A poem.

[E]

Yeah, it's a. It's a very tricky and hard line, I think, for a lot of writers, when you're writing from personal experience. I love poetry because it hides under the guise of fiction. It's in the fiction sections. It's labeled as fiction. But for so many poets, and especially for me, the work is so deeply personal. And it's very obvious that it's personal. That. That. That can be hard. I really have to ask myself, when I feel that guarding, I have to ask myself, am I not writing about this because of my Ego. Am I not writing about this because I'm gonna be embarrassed about talking about my sex life that my dad will read about, or I'm talking about something that I find shame in and embarrassment in, or am I trying to protect somebody else? And I do think there's that distinction. There's that advice, you know, write as if your parents are dead or my in laws live 15 minutes away. And so there is a very tricky line there about who I'm protecting. And I try to write from a place of deep honesty and share as much as I can about my life because I find that's where the good stuff is. But I do definitely keep things to myself, especially about my children. I just try to keep it from my perspective.

[F]

You have a poem, and I think I read that you said this is your favorite in the book. The title is, you used to text me for nudes, but now it's just for information for our taxes. And it's a really funny title, but I think a lot of people in long term relationships immediately relate in one way or another. That's like a very. It's a very real thing.

[E]

Oh, I love that poem. I will say, though, it's not because of the title that I love that poem. There's very few times in a writer's life, or I'm just gonna speak from my experience, where the angels kind of sing and there's this four part chord that happens. I write so much by ear. And when I wrote the last two lines of that poem, it says, put your mouth to the horn and call me back to you. And I heard the angels sing. I thought, oh, that's it. That's what I was trying to say. And it feels so good. That's happened maybe four or five times in my life. That's why that's my favorite poem, because it just, it's. It came to me and I was finished. And like I said, that's, you know, 90% of the time that's not happening.

[F]

But there's a lot in this book of wrestling with. Am I content with where I am right now?

[E]

Sure.

[F]

Shouldn't I be more content with where I am right now? How much were you thinking about that beforehand? Is that something that came out the more you wrote?

[E]

Yeah, absolutely. I think that a lot of us, when we're reaching middle age are kind of grappling with that. You're kind of holding both the feeling of, I've never been more myself. I've never felt more rich and fuller and beautiful and like, who I Am. While also, you know, facing our. Facing my own mortality. I went through a bunch of health issues, 38 and 39, which is kind of a young green age to have a midlife crisis, but that's what was happening. And I was kind of holding these two truths, like, yes, I feel. I feel so much like myself, but also my body is failing me. My mind is failing me. Time is moving faster than it ever has before. My children don't need me as much anymore. Have I done what I've wanted to do? Am I who I've always wanted to be? So, yeah, I think that's very relatable. As I've talked with other women, I find this to be a pretty common thread.

[F]

Yeah. Yeah. Does the process of putting those words to paper more often than not.

Settle the feeling in your brain or just kind of stir up even more questions?

[E]

I think both things happen. It really depends. I do think the more I talk about whatever it is, the easier and the quicker I can reach a conclusion. And so, yes, when I'm writing something, and then for me, after I write it down, I have to repeat it over and over maybe 100 times before I feel like it's done or if I need to keep working on it. And in that repetition, I do find myself finding peace in that, just in the same way as when I'm having a conversation with my girlfriends on something that happened five years ago. But we found a new way of looking at it. The more we repeat those stories, we kind of come to a peace about it and an understanding.

[F]

So the book opens with this quote from Cher, do everything you can do now. And it ends with your poem called How About Now? Yeah, we were hoping you could read that one for us, too.

[E]

I would love to. This is called How About Now? We are born dying, which is one way to look at it. Another is to wake up knowing we are made of impossible things. Crystal caves, singing dunes, dark matter held in mortal hope. It's true. Time has a way of making lists and ledgers. And you say you want a garden. Beds of lavender and daffodils. You say we have a lifetime love. We're in our lifetime. How about now?

[F]

Kate Baer, thank you for meeting me in your favorite and also my favorite bookstore.

[E]

Thank you so much for having me. It's been such an honor.

[F]

Her new book, How about now? Is out now.

[A]

On books we've loved. We convince you to revisit some of the books closest to your heart. Our Eric Thomas, for example, remembered being wooed by the surprising relatability of Zora Neale Hurston's Their Eyes Were Watching.

[F]

God, it's like a 16 year old cisgender boy. I was like I am this 37 year old woman. I am searching for love and identity.

[A]

Find books we've loved in NPR's Book of the Day podcast, feedback on the NPR app, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[G]

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