NPR’s Book of the Day: Kate Baer and the Realities of Middle Age

Episode Date: December 11, 2025
Host: Andrew Limbong
Guest: Kate Baer (poet, author of How About Now?)
Location: Midtown Scholar Bookstore, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

Episode Overview

This episode spotlights poet Kate Baer and her latest collection, How About Now?, which grapples candidly with the complexities and contradictions of middle age. Speaking with NPR's Scott Jetrow in the beloved Midtown Scholar bookstore, Baer reflects on vulnerability, chafing against literary conventions, and the evolving boundaries between her art and personal life. Through intimate readings and honest conversation, Baer explores themes of time, self-acceptance, family, and the challenge of embracing one's own story.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kate Baer’s Connection to Bookstores and Browsing Habits

• [02:20] Baer starts the conversation by discussing her love for bookstores, particularly Midtown Scholar where the interview takes place.
  • She describes her routine: “I always go to new releases first. And then I do poetry.” – Kate Baer
• Since becoming a published author, she feels more skeptical about blurbs:
  • “I don't believe blurbs as much, because now I see how blurbs are exchanged.” [02:34]

2. On Sharing Shelf Space with Renowned Poets

• [03:14] Baer expresses gratitude and disbelief at seeing her works alongside poetry icons:
  • “It never ceases to amaze me that I get to share shelf space with incredible poets like Ada Limón, Sharon Olds, Wanda Coleman... It’s such a privilege.”

3. Vulnerability in Writing and Family Reactions

• Reading from her poem “to Senda” (paraphrased):
  • “I typed my dirty secrets onto the page. My mother said, I don't particularly like that poem. My husband said, oh, wow. My children said, I don't know why I can’t read any of your books.” [03:37]
• On the writer’s dilemma of what to reveal and what to shield:
  • “It's a very tricky and hard line...when you’re writing from personal experience.” [04:34]
  • She tries to balance honesty with protecting others, especially her children: “I try to write from a place of deep honesty and share as much as I can... But I do definitely keep things to myself, especially about my children. I just try to keep it from my perspective.”

4. Balancing Life, Art, and Privacy

• The “write as if your parents are dead” advice is weighed against Baer’s reality:
  • “My in-laws live 15 minutes away. And so there is a very tricky line there about who I'm protecting.”
• The good writing lies in honesty, even when there’s discomfort: “That's where the good stuff is.” [04:34]

5. Humor and Truth in Long-Term Relationships

• Discussion around the humor and truth of her poem, You used to text me for nudes, but now it’s just for information for our taxes:
  • “There’s very few times in a writer’s life...where the angels kind of sing... When I wrote the last two lines...‘Put your mouth to the horn and call me back to you,’ I heard the angels sing. I thought, oh, that's it. That's what I was trying to say.” – Kate Baer [06:14]
• This poem exemplifies how ordinary life evolves and how poetry can capture its poignancy and humor.

6. Contentment, Aging, and Existential Reflection

• Baer unpacks the book’s recurrent theme: wrestling with contentment and the uncertainties of middle age:
  • “A lot of us, when we're reaching middle age, are kind of grappling with that. You're kind of holding both the feeling of, I've never been more myself... While also... facing my own mortality.” [07:13]
  • She reflects on her personal health scares in her late 30s and how these catalyzed a “midlife crisis” and deeper self-examination.
  • Questions of purpose persist: “Have I done what I’ve wanted to do? Am I who I've always wanted to be? So, yeah, I think that's very relatable.” [07:13]

7. Writing as a Form of Processing and Healing

• On whether poetry brings clarity or more questions:
  • “I think both things happen. It really depends... The more I talk about whatever it is, the easier and the quicker I can reach a conclusion.” – Kate Baer [08:23]
  • Repeated writing is akin to conversations with friends: “The more we repeat those stories, we kind of come to a peace about it and an understanding.”

Featured Quote & Reading: “How About Now?”

• The book opens with a quote from Cher: “do everything you can do now,” and ends with the title poem.
• [09:15] Baer reads her poem “How About Now?”:

  “We are born dying, which is one way to look at it. Another is to wake up knowing we are made of impossible things. Crystal caves, singing dunes, dark matter held in mortal hope.
  It’s true. Time has a way of making lists and ledgers. And you say you want a garden. Beds of lavender and daffodils.
  You say we have a lifetime love. We’re in our lifetime. How about now?”

Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes

• On blurbs' authenticity:

  “It's not that they're not authentic all the time. It's that there are lots of networks in publishing, just like in every industry.” – Kate Baer [02:41]

• On honesty and vulnerability:

  “I try to write from a place of deep honesty and share as much as I can about my life because I find that’s where the good stuff is.” – Kate Baer [04:34]

• On the writer’s epiphany moment:

  “When I wrote the last two lines of that poem...I heard the angels sing. I thought, oh, that's it. That's what I was trying to say.” – Kate Baer [06:14]

• On middle age’s complexity:

  “You're kind of holding both the feeling of, I've never been more myself... While also... facing my own mortality.” – Kate Baer [07:13]

• On writing and peace:

  “The more we repeat those stories, we kind of come to a peace about it and an understanding.” – Kate Baer [08:23]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:20] – Baer on bookstore routines and changing perspective on book blurbs
• [03:14] – Reflections on shelf space alongside poetry’s heavyweights
• [03:37] – Reading and unpacking the poem “to Senda”
• [04:34] – Discussing privacy, honesty, and protecting family in her poetry
• [06:14] – The origin and impact of the poem on long-term partnership
• [07:13] – Grappling with contentment, identity, and aging
• [08:23] – Writing as emotional resolution
• [09:15] – Title poem reading: “How About Now?”

Conclusion

Spirited, vulnerable, and deeply honest, Kate Baer’s interview captures the universal search for meaning in the messy middle of life. Her poetry—and the discussions behind its creation—offers comfort and camaraderie to anyone navigating change, cherishing connection, and asking, “How about now?”