Summary4 min read

OCD Family Podcast

Episode S3E144: Water Cooler Chats – Help!! How Can I Stop Intrusive Thoughts!?

Host: Nicole Morris, LMFT
Date: July 26, 2025

Episode Overview

In this concise and supportive “Water Cooler Chats” episode, host Nicole Morris tackles one of the most frequently-asked questions by those dealing with OCD and their families: “How can I stop intrusive thoughts?” Nicole reassures listeners that the inability to control intrusive thoughts isn’t a failure but the starting point for healing. The episode centers on understanding intrusive thoughts, why trying to stop them doesn’t work, and most importantly, the role of response prevention as part of Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy. Nicole offers hope and a sense of community to family members, caregivers, and anyone affected by OCD.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Intrusive Thoughts Happen to Everyone

Universal Experience: Nicole emphasizes that intrusive thoughts are a normal part of the human experience and “show up for everyone” (00:53).
For those with OCD, these thoughts become “sticky”—they feel “urgent, important, dangerous, or deeply personal” (01:04).

2. The Compulsion Trap

Our brains naturally want to respond to distressing thoughts: “to neutralize the thought, fix it, or prove it wrong. And that’s where compulsions come in” (01:09).

3. The Real Solution: Response Prevention

Crucial Shift: “We can’t control the thoughts that pop into our minds, but we can change how we respond to them” (01:22).
Nicole introduces Response Prevention—the RP in ERP—as the evidence-based way to break the OCD cycle.
- “Instead of trying to block or cancel the thought, we allow it to be there. We don’t engage with it. We don’t check or research or reassure or even mentally review. This is the hard part. But it’s what teaches the brain that the thought doesn’t need a reaction. It’s just a thought” (01:28).
With practice, intrusive thoughts “become less loud, less intense, less urgent, and eventually less frequent” (01:49).

4. The Goal is Not to Stop the Thoughts

“Our goal isn’t to stop the thoughts. And we can’t stop the thoughts. … The goal is to stop responding to them, and that’s what actually helps them to fade” (01:56).
Nicole uses humor: “My joke is in a world where we have on average, maybe 7,000 thoughts a day, they’re not all going to be winners” (01:52).

5. Acknowledging the Challenge

“Sound hard?” (02:21) Nicole pauses—then answers directly herself:
- “It is.” (02:22)

6. Support is Key—No One Has To Do This Alone

ERP is most effective with a specialized therapist: “This process is best supported by a trained therapist in Exposure and Response Prevention. Because OCD is treatable and you don’t have to do it alone” (02:23).
Nicole speaks directly to family members, partners, and even adult children supporting adult parents:
- “That team is not only there for your loved one, they’re there for you to help you learn. … Sometimes the greatest gift of all is knowing that we’re not alone.” (02:39)

7. Resources and Community

Nicole encourages listeners to visit the episode’s blog for more information and resources on ERP (02:50).
She ends with a message of camaraderie: “Thanks for hanging out at the water cooler. We’ve got this.” (03:11)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“The short answer is that you can’t [stop intrusive thoughts]. But that’s not bad news, because it’s actually where healing begins.”
— Nicole Morris (00:36)
“We can’t control the thoughts that pop into our minds, but we can change how we respond to them.”
— Nicole Morris (01:22)
“We allow it [the thought] to be there. We don’t engage with it. … This is the hard part. But it’s what teaches the brain that the thought doesn’t need a reaction. It’s just a thought.”
— Nicole Morris (01:30)
“Our goal isn’t to stop the thoughts. The goal is to stop responding to them, and that’s what actually helps them to fade.”
— Nicole Morris (01:56)
“Sound hard?”
— Nicole Morris (02:21)
“It is.”
— Nicole Morris (02:22)
“OCD is treatable and you don’t have to do it alone.”
— Nicole Morris (02:25)
“Sometimes the greatest gift of all is knowing that we’re not alone.”
— Nicole Morris (02:46)

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Topic/Quote | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------------| | 00:29 | “Help! Are you or your loved one struggling with intrusive thoughts…” Intro to episode question | | 01:04 | Why intrusive thoughts are “sticky” for people with OCD | | 01:09 | The compulsion cycle explained | | 01:22 | “We can’t control the thoughts that pop into our minds…” | | 01:28 | Introduction to response prevention | | 01:49 | How sticky thoughts lose their grip over time | | 01:56 | “Our goal isn’t to stop the thoughts…” | | 02:21-22 | “Sound hard? It is.” | | 02:23 | Why this process is best supported by a trained therapist | | 02:39 | Support for family and community | | 02:46 | “Sometimes the greatest gift of all is knowing that we’re not alone.” | | 02:50 | Directing listeners to additional resources | | 03:11 | “Thanks for hanging out at the water cooler. We’ve got this.” |

Summary Takeaways

Intrusive thoughts are universal and unavoidable.
Trying to suppress or eliminate them only fuels OCD’s cycle.
Response Prevention—not engaging with the thoughts—is the cornerstone of recovery.
OCD is treatable, and support is available for both sufferers and their families.
Community and professional help play an essential role.
Listeners are encouraged to seek further resources and not face OCD alone.

For additional information and support, Nicole directs listeners to the episode blog and the wider OCD Family Podcast community.

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Transcript5 lines

[00:00]
A
Want a recipe for success? Step 1 Visit ocdfamilypodcast.com courses Step 2 Click on my link to browse OCD Training School's amazing course catalog. Step three Enroll. And step four Enjoy learning with no added cost to you. You can support the OCD family community while grabbing some continuing education or learning how to bridge yourself to self help strategies for OCD. Again, that's ocdfamilypodcast.com courses and use my special link to sign up today.
[00:30]
B
Help Are you or your loved one struggling with intrusive thoughts and ever thought how can I stop them? Today's question is a biggie fam, and the short answer is that you can't. But that's not bad news, because it's actually where healing begins. So welcome back to the OCD Family Podcast where we are having quick chats like these all summer long to help your loved ones and chosen family know more about OCD and feel empowered to conquer it. So intrusive thoughts. They show up for everyone. And for people with ocd, those thoughts get sticky. They feel urgent, important, dangerous, or deeply personal. Naturally, our brains want to do something right to either neutralize the thought, fix it, or prove it wrong. And that's where compulsions come in. But here is the key. We can't control the thoughts that pop into our minds, but we can change how we respond to them. That's called response prevention. And it's the RP in Exposure and Response Prevention, or erp. So instead of trying to block or cancel the thought, we allow it to be there. We don't engage with it. We don't check or research or reassure or even mentally review. This is the hard part. But it's what teaches the brain that the thought doesn't need a reaction. It's just a thought. And with time and practice, those sticky thoughts start to lose their grip. They become less loud, less intense, less urgent, and eventually less frequent. So our goal isn't to stop the thoughts. And we can't stop the thoughts. My joke is in a world where we have on average, maybe 7,000 thoughts a day, they're not all going to be winners. The goal is to stop responding to them, and that's what actually helps them to fade. Sound hard?
[02:22]
A
It is.
[02:23]
B
And that's why this process is best supported by a trained therapist in Exposure and response prevention. Because OCD is treatable and you don't have to do it alone. If you're a loved one, a parent, a spouse, maybe even an adult child to an adult parent, that has struggled with this for so long. That team is not only there for your loved one, they're there for you to help you learn. And and we're here fam. And while this isn't therapy, sometimes the greatest gift of all is knowing that we're not alone. And if you want more resources or to learn more about exposure and response prevention, jump on over to this episode's blog where you can learn more about OCD and erp. Alright fam, that's all for today, but thanks for hanging out at the water cooler. We've got this.
[03:15]
A
Therapists are your clients struggling with Disgust Based Contamination OCD? Have you tried upgrading your ERP with the mastery approach? Visit ocdfamilypodcast.com courses and click on my link because I've got just the training for you. @ocdfamilypodcast.com courses you can check out OCD Training School's entire catalog of courses, including Rich Gallagher's course Treating Contamination OCD, which where else can you build mastery over disgust based triggers while supporting the fam at no extra cost to you? It's a win win@ocdfamilypodcast.com forward slash courses.