OCD Family Podcast

Episode S3E144: Water Cooler Chats – Help!! How Can I Stop Intrusive Thoughts!?

Host: Nicole Morris, LMFT
Date: July 26, 2025

Episode Overview

In this concise and supportive “Water Cooler Chats” episode, host Nicole Morris tackles one of the most frequently-asked questions by those dealing with OCD and their families: “How can I stop intrusive thoughts?” Nicole reassures listeners that the inability to control intrusive thoughts isn’t a failure but the starting point for healing. The episode centers on understanding intrusive thoughts, why trying to stop them doesn’t work, and most importantly, the role of response prevention as part of Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy. Nicole offers hope and a sense of community to family members, caregivers, and anyone affected by OCD.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Intrusive Thoughts Happen to Everyone

• Universal Experience: Nicole emphasizes that intrusive thoughts are a normal part of the human experience and “show up for everyone” (00:53).
• For those with OCD, these thoughts become “sticky”—they feel “urgent, important, dangerous, or deeply personal” (01:04).

2. The Compulsion Trap

• Our brains naturally want to respond to distressing thoughts: “to neutralize the thought, fix it, or prove it wrong. And that’s where compulsions come in” (01:09).

3. The Real Solution: Response Prevention

• Crucial Shift: “We can’t control the thoughts that pop into our minds, but we can change how we respond to them” (01:22).
• Nicole introduces Response Prevention—the RP in ERP—as the evidence-based way to break the OCD cycle.
  • “Instead of trying to block or cancel the thought, we allow it to be there. We don’t engage with it. We don’t check or research or reassure or even mentally review. This is the hard part. But it’s what teaches the brain that the thought doesn’t need a reaction. It’s just a thought” (01:28).
• With practice, intrusive thoughts “become less loud, less intense, less urgent, and eventually less frequent” (01:49).

4. The Goal is Not to Stop the Thoughts

• “Our goal isn’t to stop the thoughts. And we can’t stop the thoughts. … The goal is to stop responding to them, and that’s what actually helps them to fade” (01:56).
• Nicole uses humor: “My joke is in a world where we have on average, maybe 7,000 thoughts a day, they’re not all going to be winners” (01:52).

5. Acknowledging the Challenge

• “Sound hard?” (02:21) Nicole pauses—then answers directly herself:
  • “It is.” (02:22)

6. Support is Key—No One Has To Do This Alone

• ERP is most effective with a specialized therapist: “This process is best supported by a trained therapist in Exposure and Response Prevention. Because OCD is treatable and you don’t have to do it alone” (02:23).
• Nicole speaks directly to family members, partners, and even adult children supporting adult parents:
  • “That team is not only there for your loved one, they’re there for you to help you learn. … Sometimes the greatest gift of all is knowing that we’re not alone.” (02:39)

7. Resources and Community

• Nicole encourages listeners to visit the episode’s blog for more information and resources on ERP (02:50).
• She ends with a message of camaraderie: “Thanks for hanging out at the water cooler. We’ve got this.” (03:11)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “The short answer is that you can’t [stop intrusive thoughts]. But that’s not bad news, because it’s actually where healing begins.”
  — Nicole Morris (00:36)
• “We can’t control the thoughts that pop into our minds, but we can change how we respond to them.”
  — Nicole Morris (01:22)
• “We allow it [the thought] to be there. We don’t engage with it. … This is the hard part. But it’s what teaches the brain that the thought doesn’t need a reaction. It’s just a thought.”
  — Nicole Morris (01:30)
• “Our goal isn’t to stop the thoughts. The goal is to stop responding to them, and that’s what actually helps them to fade.”
  — Nicole Morris (01:56)
• “Sound hard?”
  — Nicole Morris (02:21)
  “It is.”
  — Nicole Morris (02:22)
• “OCD is treatable and you don’t have to do it alone.”
  — Nicole Morris (02:25)
• “Sometimes the greatest gift of all is knowing that we’re not alone.”
  — Nicole Morris (02:46)

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Topic/Quote | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------------| | 00:29 | “Help! Are you or your loved one struggling with intrusive thoughts…” Intro to episode question | | 01:04 | Why intrusive thoughts are “sticky” for people with OCD | | 01:09 | The compulsion cycle explained | | 01:22 | “We can’t control the thoughts that pop into our minds…” | | 01:28 | Introduction to response prevention | | 01:49 | How sticky thoughts lose their grip over time | | 01:56 | “Our goal isn’t to stop the thoughts…” | | 02:21-22 | “Sound hard? It is.” | | 02:23 | Why this process is best supported by a trained therapist | | 02:39 | Support for family and community | | 02:46 | “Sometimes the greatest gift of all is knowing that we’re not alone.” | | 02:50 | Directing listeners to additional resources | | 03:11 | “Thanks for hanging out at the water cooler. We’ve got this.” |

Summary Takeaways

• Intrusive thoughts are universal and unavoidable.
• Trying to suppress or eliminate them only fuels OCD’s cycle.
• Response Prevention—not engaging with the thoughts—is the cornerstone of recovery.
• OCD is treatable, and support is available for both sufferers and their families.
• Community and professional help play an essential role.
• Listeners are encouraged to seek further resources and not face OCD alone.

For additional information and support, Nicole directs listeners to the episode blog and the wider OCD Family Podcast community.