OCD Family Podcast – S3E147: Water Cooler Chats
How OCD Shows Up in School & What Parents Need To Know
Host: Nicole Morris, LMFT
Date: August 16, 2025
Episode Overview
In this episode, Nicole Morris, licensed marriage and family therapist, unpacks how OCD and anxiety can manifest in the school setting, what parents and educators should look for, and accessible resources to support children and teens. With compassion and levity, Nicole provides a blend of data, actionable insights, and personal anecdotes designed to inform, validate, and build community for families facing these challenges as the school year begins.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Prevalence & Underdiagnosis of OCD/Anxiety in Youth
- Stats from IOCDF:
- 50% of adults with OCD report symptoms began before age 18.
- 1 in 200 kids has OCD or an OC-Related Disorder (OCRD), but more recent data suggests it’s closer to 1 in 100 for OCD alone.
- 30% of children experience at least one anxiety disorder.
- On average, there’s a 14-to-17-year delay between symptom onset and diagnosis/treatment (00:56–02:55).
- Kids/teens often struggle with symptoms for up to 2.5 years before being assessed, and another 1.5 years before first treatment.
- Notable quote:
“It takes 14 to 17 years on average from symptom onset to actually receiving an OCD diagnosis and accessing evidence based treatment. Ugh. Yikes.”
— Nicole (01:34)
2. When OCD/Anxiety Typically Shows Up
- Key Age Ranges:
- First noticeable spike at ages 7–12.
- Second spike in late teen/young adult years (~age 20).
- These aren’t the only ages, but the most commonly reported (03:04–03:41).
3. Challenges in Identifying Symptoms
- Reasons for Delay:
- OCD’s “hide and seek” nature: Kids may hide symptoms or not understand what’s happening.
- Symptoms can mimic other conditions (anxiety, autism, trauma, etc.).
- Nicole’s approach:
- Emphasizes it’s not a parent or teacher’s job to diagnose:
“The good news is it’s not your job to be the investigator. This is where working with a licensed mental health professional, your school counselor, or other treatment team support is so important.”
(05:13)
4. Warning Signs for Parents
(05:43–08:07)
- Physical and Emotional Symptoms:
- Frequent stomachaches, headaches, nausea, “too sick to go to school” sensations.
- GI distress.
- Increased sweating, rapid heartbeat, tears.
- School refusal or complaints about not wanting to attend.
- Resistance at transition points (“doorknob battles,” trouble getting out the door).
- Behavioral Clues:
- Concerns about germs; compulsive routines (e.g., opening doors with tissues/elbows).
- Carrying heavy backpacks all day to avoid going to the locker.
- Heightened “What if…?” worries.
- Perfectionism and Reassurance:
- Repeated checking (“Did I do this right?”), seeking constant reassurance, fear of being wrong or having critical consequences.
- Notable quote:
“Maybe there’s a concern about germs or particular routines that have to happen, like opening the door with your shirt or a tissue, using elbows instead of hands... What if I can’t open it and I am the social embarrassment of the year? What if, what if, what if?”
— Nicole (07:20) - Teen masking:
- Teens may mask symptoms due to social pressure (“they got some riz on the line”).
5. Warning Signs for School Staff
(08:13–10:00)
- Observable Behaviors:
- “Runners”: Kids who frequently leave class, roam halls, or hide in bathrooms or nurse’s office.
- Repeated, prolonged visits to nurses, secretaries.
- Student avoidance of participation (not wanting to speak up, hiding in class), slow movements, dizziness, social isolation.
- Overlap with Neurodivergence:
- Recognizing similar presentations in autistic students or those masking neurodiversity.
- Nicole’s passion as a mom of three autistic kids and the importance of neurodiversity-affirming environments.
- Notable quote:
“If someone is anxious because of autistic masking, then we want to help them identify how this is externally driven and its impact so that we can help that person create a better understanding of their own neuroprocessing while creating a safe environment for their self advocacy and unmasking when possible.”
— Nicole (10:46)
6. Actionable Support Steps & Resources
(12:01–15:31)
Nicole’s “Easy Breezy Lemon Squeezy” Guide:
-
Build Your Team:
- Reach out early: Parents should talk with their child, school staff, and mental health/medical professionals if symptoms appear.
- Rule out medical causes for peace of mind.
-
Download Free Toolkits:
- Visit “Anxiety in the Classroom” for free guides tailored for parents, educators, and students.
-
Explore Neurodiversity:
- Consider assessment for autism or neurodivergent processing if suspected.
- Nicole’s go-to neurodivergent-led resources:
- Mrs. Speechy P (educator/advocate)
- Dr. NHL (Neurodivergent Insights)
- Dr. Stacey Greeter (OCD/Autism psychiatrist, YouTuber):
“Stacy is doing it. She’s amazing… I’m going to put a link to her YouTube channel also over on the blog.”
(14:46)
-
Expand Your Support Team:
- Recognize that kids may have multiple overlapping conditions (OCD, panic disorder, autism, sensory processing issues).
- It’s more important to “clock the distress” and get the right help than to figure out all the whys immediately.
- Understanding your brain is a strength.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On the impact of underdiagnosis:
“This is 1 in 100 cases that we know about because we know there’s lots of people that 14 to 17 year number alone living with OCD and not getting a proper diagnosis.”
— Nicole (03:30) -
On inclusivity and collaboration:
“Let’s shoot for being curious together and linking our students, families and school staff to resources that can help.”
— Nicole (12:00) -
On parent frustration with schools and neurodivergent disclosure:
“As a parent to three autistic kiddos myself, I’ll just note it puts a real bug in my rug that there’s not clear communication… Can’t we all just chat? Ugh. But that’s another topic for another day.”
— Nicole (14:09) -
On empowerment and brain difference:
“Understanding your brain, whether it’s because you’re autistic or you have OCD or you’re anxious, it is a strength when we can understand how our brain is functioning and what tools will actually help us.”
— Nicole (15:18)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 00:56–02:55
Prevalence of OCD/anxiety, delays in diagnosis and treatment - 03:04–03:41
Age ranges of onset - 05:13
Emphasis on joint school-family-professional support - 05:43–08:07
Warning signs for parents - 08:13–10:00
Warning signs for school staff; overlap with neurodivergence - 10:46
Addressing autistic masking and distress - 12:01–15:31
Practical steps & resources, toolkit recommendations - 14:46
Shoutouts to ND educators and advocates - 15:18
Closing encouragement on understanding brain differences
Conclusion
Nicole wraps up by encouraging listeners to share their own tools and strategies, reinforcing the power of community insights over isolation. She reminds parents, educators, and practitioners: You don’t have to “reinvent the wheel,” and you’re not alone in this. As the new school year begins, stay curious, collaborate, and use the wealth of resources available to create supportive environments for all children.
Final thought:
“Family. We’re better together. Sharing is caring, right fam?”
— Nicole (16:14)
Resources Mentioned
(All links are hosted at OCD Family Podcast blog for easy access)
- International OCD Foundation, “Anxiety in the Classroom” toolkit.
- ND (Neurodivergent) educator and advocate resources: Mrs. Speechy P, Dr. NHL, Dr. Stacey Greeter.
This summary captures the essential points, advice, and tone of Nicole Morris’s Water Cooler Chat on how OCD and anxiety manifest in youth, especially in school, and empowers families and educators to identify warning signs and seek help.