Full OCD Recovery: Don't Try To Achieve The Right Feeling In OCD - OCD Recovery

Summary4 min read

Episode Overview

Episode Title: Full OCD Recovery: Don't Try To Achieve The Right Feeling In OCD
Host: Ali Greymond
Podcast: OCD Recovery
Release Date: December 21, 2025

In this focused and practical episode, Ali Greymond tackles a critical concept in OCD recovery: the trap of trying to achieve the “right” feeling. Drawing on almost two decades of personal experience as an OCD coach and survivor, Ali explains why obsessing over a particular emotional state (love, peace, happiness, productivity, etc.) actually perpetuates the OCD cycle. She dispenses actionable advice on breaking this pattern through exposure and response prevention (ERP), demystifies how to relate to uncomfortable emotions, and empowers listeners to reject rumination and compulsion—regardless of how they feel in the moment.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Trap of Chasing Feelings ([00:14])

Obsessive Feeling-Seeking: Ali details how people with OCD often strive for a specific feeling, such as love, acceptance, peace, or productivity. The harder they chase that feeling, the more tension and anxiety they create, fueling OCD’s grip.
The Cycle of Compulsions: Attempting to achieve the “right” feeling often leads to compulsive behaviors (mental or physical) aimed at managing or avoiding discomfort. This maintains and strengthens OCD.

Quote:
"The more you try to push to achieve the feeling, the more friction you're actually creating and the more you're feeding the OCD."
—Ali Greymond [00:14]

2. Living Without Letting Feelings Dictate Actions ([01:10])

Practical Living: Ali advocates focusing on “real life” tasks—what to eat, where to go, what to do—while treating whatever emotional state you’re in with indifference.
Reframing Attention: Feelings in the moment are not relevant; they shouldn’t dictate your choices or command your focus.
Not Avoiding, Not Fixing: The advice isn’t to run away from negative feelings, but to deprioritize them—“I have better things to do, so I'm gonna go do those better things.”

Quote:
"What kind of feeling you have is in the moment, irrelevant. You should not give it so much attention and so much power."
—Ali Greymond [01:14]

3. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) and the Role of Compulsions ([02:10])

Natural Triggers & OCD’s Demand: OCD exposures lead to urges—often to fix, avoid, or change a feeling. The key is to recognize these as compulsions and resist giving in.
ERP in Practice: Allowing uncomfortable feelings without acting to “correct” them teaches the brain there's no real threat.
Letting It “Be”: Instead of trying to manipulate, fix, or ruminate about feelings, allow them to exist and continue with your day.

Quote:
"When you get this urge to fix a feeling, instead of fixing the feeling, we want to just let it be."
—Ali Greymond [02:24]

4. Challenging the Priority of Feelings ([02:50])

“It Doesn’t Matter How I Feel”: OCD is unique in that “how you feel in the moment doesn't matter.” This doesn’t mean feelings are meaningless, but that they shouldn’t shape your day-to-day recovery behavior.
Goal: Normalcy, Not Perfection: Show your brain what “normal” looks like—going through your day, not ruminating or performing compulsions, regardless of your felt emotional state.

Quote:
"If you put your feelings as a priority, then in order to feel good, you need to do a compulsion or behavior. That's kind of how OCD will play it."
—Ali Greymond [03:17]

5. The Real Fear: Never Feeling Okay? ([03:40])

Underlying Concern: Many people realize that their main fear isn’t the content of a worry, but the idea that a particular unwanted feeling will never go away.
Let Go of “The Right Feeling” Quest: Recovery comes from accepting what you feel and not making every effort to change it.

Quote:
"It's not even about the content, it's not even about the situation. But it's about trying to get rid of a feeling and trying to achieve the right feeling."
—Ali Greymond [03:58]

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

On Ruminating About Feelings:
"Anytime you are trying to achieve the right feeling, you need to count it as rumination time, because it really is. And possibly compulsions."
—Ali Greymond [04:10]
On Showing the Brain Normalcy:
"Show your brain normalcy. Normalcy is not ruminating. Normalcy is not doing compulsions. Normalcy is going about my day as if I don't have those negative feelings."
—Ali Greymond [03:30]

Breakdown of Key Timestamps

[00:14] – The destructive pursuit of “the right feeling” in OCD
[01:10] – Redirecting focus from feelings to real tasks; not running from or fixing discomfort
[02:10] – How ERP counters the urge to fix feelings
[02:50] – Why how you “feel” should not steer OCD recovery behaviors
[03:40] – The deceptive root fear in OCD: that feelings won’t go away
[04:10] – Trying to achieve the “right” feeling equals rumination and possible compulsions

Conclusion

Ali Greymond’s message in this episode is refreshingly clear: Stop chasing the “right” feeling. Focus on living your day as you would without OCD. When the urge comes to fix, ruminate, or achieve a specific emotion, recognize it as a compulsion or rumination—and let it pass. By modeling normalcy and detaching from the need to micromanage emotions, lasting OCD recovery becomes possible.

For listeners seeking practical, day-to-day OCD recovery guidance, this episode serves as a strong reminder to prioritize actions over feelings and embrace the sometimes uncomfortable process of exposure and response prevention.

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Transcript5 lines

[00:00]
A
I'm Ali Graymond. I'm an expert in OCD recovery because for the last 19 years, I've been.
[00:05]
B
Helping people fully recover from OCD.
[00:08]
A
If you would like to do personal coaching with me, all the information is on youhubocd.com you can sign up from there.
[00:14]
B
It's important that you don't try to achieve any specific feeling in OCD recovery. You could be trying to achieve a feeling of love, a feeling of acceptance, a feeling of happiness, a feeling of fulfillment, a feeling of productivity is very common. And the more. Even the feeling of peace and the more you try to push to achieve the feeling, the more friction you're actually creating and the more you're feeding the ocd. And then what happens is you start to do compulsions that also feed the disorder. So it's very important that you pull back and just live your life in a simple way where you focus on what you're going to eat, where you're going to go, what you're going to do, what kind of feeling you have is in the moment, irrelevant. You should not give it so much attention and so much power. So you're just going on with the day, I had a thought, I had a feeling. Doesn't matter. I'm gonna go do this, and then I'm gonna go do that. And you're not running away from negative feelings. That's very important. You're just saying, I have better things to do, so I'm gonna go do those better things. And you do this over and over again throughout the day. You want to show your brain that there's no importance here. So you're going on as if nothing is going on, as if everything is okay. Even though you're not feeling okay yet, you're still living life as if you're already there again, not trying to achieve any feeling. And then notice what your brain is pushing you to do, because your brain is going to be pushing you to avoid some things, to avoid negative feelings or do some things to create positive feelings. All of those are compulsions. So OCD is a trigger, right? Exposure. And then it wants something from you, so it wants a response. And what we're trying to do is ERP exposure and response prevention. So when you get this urge to fix a feeling, instead of fixing the feeling, we want to just let it be. Let it, allow it to be there and go on with the day without ruminating about it or trying to somehow fix it or manipulate it. Ironically, OCD is probably the only disorder where we can say that the way you feel in the moment doesn't matter. I mean, it matters from like a human sense, but it doesn't matter. You shouldn't allow it to matter in terms of what you are doing. Because if you put your feelings as a priority, then in order to feel good, you need to do a compulsion or behavior. That's kind of how OCD will play it, you know. So if you say it doesn't matter how I feel, I know what I need to do. I'm doing those things and I'm not doing them out of fear. I'm doing them because that is the right thing to do. I need to show my brain normalcy. Normalcy is not ruminating. Normalcy is not doing compulsions. Normalcy is going about my day as if I. As if I don't have those negative feelings. Eventually your brain will start to catch up, but it might take a little bit of time. And a lot of the times people will have all kinds of different triggers which seem unrelated. But if you ask them, well, what bothers you? What's the worst case scenario? The answer that comes back a lot is that the feeling is never going to go away. So it's not even about the content, it's not even about the situation. But it's about trying to get rid of a feeling and trying to achieve the right feeling. So you got to give up the quest of trying to achieve the right feeling. Allow it to be how it be. Keep yourself moving forward. And anytime you are trying to achieve the right feeling, you need to count it as rumination time, because it really is. And possibly convulsions.
[04:20]
A
Thank you for listening. If you have not subscribed, please subscribe. If you would like to do private coaching with me, please sign up through you have oct dot com. I'll see you tomorrow.