Guilt, Shame And OCD Confessing - OCD Recovery

Podcast Summary:

Podcast: OCD Recovery
Host: Ali Greymond
Episode: Guilt, Shame And OCD Confessing
Date: December 3, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Ali Greymond dives deep into the experience of guilt, shame, and the urge to confess, which are common struggles for people dealing with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Drawing from her expertise and personal recovery journey, she explains how these feelings and compulsions are generated by the brain, the cycle they create, and offers concrete advice on breaking free from them.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. How the Brain Processes OCD Thoughts

The brain processes thoughts similarly to a computer, seeing them as “ones and zeros,” without truly understanding their content or emotional significance.
- “The brain understands these thoughts as ones and zeros on a computer screen... it just understands it as ones and zeros. It doesn't get what the picture is... just understands it as ones and zeros.” (00:17)
The brain differentiates important from unimportant thoughts by monitoring your reaction. Reacting strongly teaches your brain to label similar content as ‘important’ and prompts automatic emotional responses in the future.
- “That's how it differentiates important thoughts from not important thoughts, by your reaction.” (00:36)

2. The OC Cycle: Thought, Reaction, and Reinforcement

Intrusive OCD thoughts are common; even people without OCD have them.
- “It's been proven that people with OCD and people without OCD get the same thoughts. But people without OCD... simply don't react to them.” (01:02)
What distinguishes OCD sufferers is the emotional reaction and attribution of personal meaning, causing these thoughts to get ‘stuck’ and become distressing.

3. Guilt, Shame, and Confessing as Compulsions

Guilt and shame are products of reacting to unwanted thoughts or physical sensations; the brain sends these emotional responses “on autopilot” because that’s the learned association.
- “If you are reacting with guilt about the content, it will send you autopilot guilt, autopilot shame, autopilot need to confess.” (02:25)
The urge to confess is a compulsion. For those who experience it, giving in reinforces the cycle and leads to more confession or obsessing over missed details, maintaining increased distress.
Not all OCD sufferers have the need to confess, but the compulsion functions the same way as others (checking, reassurance-seeking, etc.)

4. Breaking the Cycle: Stopping the Compulsion

Breaking free from this cycle involves “manually pressing stop”—consciously refusing to engage in compulsions (including confessing, ruminating, seeking reassurance).
- “Right now your brain is working on autopilot, automatically sending you the thoughts, expecting you to automatically react. So manually pressing stop and saying, okay, anything to do with this theme... I'm not going to react this way, I'm not going to do this.” (03:26)
Initially, refusing to give in may intensify the urge, but with repeated refusal, the compulsions and distress fade.
- “At first it's gonna try to send you even more to try to pull you back... but then it will start to subside and it will fully stop.” (03:58)

5. Acceptance as a Tool

Acceptance means allowing the intrusive thoughts and urges to exist without reacting—as just “autopilot thoughts that mean nothing.”
The more a person accepts the presence of these thoughts as meaningless, the less power and emotional impact they have.
- “The more you accept them as just that... the less generally emotional attachment you will have to them.” (04:24)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Ali Greymond on Automatic Responses:
“Your brain controls your physical sensations... you start to feel guilty and ashamed... Again, it's just your OCD. All of this is just a part of OCD.” (01:35)
On the Need to Confess:
“Next time you're going to want to confess more, or even within this same thing that you're confessing... it's going to jump to a new detail.” (02:55)
On Taking Action:
“You always have to remember that it's going to just continue to snowball if you don't stop it. Right now, you need to stop this mechanism.” (03:09)

Timestamps for Important Segments

00:17: Brain processes thoughts like a computer—neutral “ones and zeros”
01:02: Everyone has intrusive thoughts; OCD reaction makes them “stick”
02:25: Guilt, shame, and confessing as automatic responses driven by your reaction
02:55: Explaining the confession compulsion and how it escalates
03:26: Steps for manually stopping the compulsive reaction
03:58: The compulsion’s intensity rises with resistance but will subside
04:24: Acceptance diminishes emotional attachment to intrusive thoughts

Key Takeaways

OCD thoughts do not have inherent meaning; your reaction teaches your brain to treat them as significant.
Guilt, shame, and confessing are learned compulsive responses that fuel OCD’s cycle.
Recovery involves refusing to engage with compulsions (“manually pressing stop”) and accepting intrusive thoughts as meaningless, resulting in diminishing distress over time.

For listeners looking for actionable strategies and compassionate understanding of the OCD experience, this episode offers relatable metaphors, practical advice, and hope from someone who’s been there herself.

Transcript

A (0:00)

Hi everyone, I'm Ali Greymond. Today I wanted to talk to you about how to stop feelings of guilt, shame, feeling the urge to confess while dealing with ocd. So first you have to understand that the brain understands these thoughts as ones and zeros on a computer screen. How much does a computer understand what you are seeing on an emotional level? No, it just understands it as ones and zeros. It doesn't get what the picture is or what the website is, or what the program is, just understands it as ones and zeros. That's how your brain works as well. Specifically that part of the brain, it looks for your reaction. That's how it differentiates important thoughts from not important thoughts, by your reaction. If you react to Red Balloon as scary, it will send you the feelings on autopilot in the future of fear attached to a red balloon and more. So if you see anything round, anything red, anything similar to a balloon, it will bring up those feelings as well. You happen to react to another type of thought. And it's been proven that people with OCD and people without OCD get the same thoughts. But people without OCD who are not in danger of developing OCD simply don't react to them. They just look at it as just a junk thought. Doesn't matter. Like spam, junk mail, doesn't matter. But people with OCD or who are about to develop ocd, attribute it to themselves. Like, this means something. I'm getting this for some reason. No, you just got 70,000 thoughts a day. It's been proven people get around. Well, anywhere From I think 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day, probably. People with OCD are on the higher end of that, right? So out of 70,000 thoughts a day, some weird thought popped into your mind. So what? Again, people without OCD also get those thoughts, Believe it or not, but you reacted and that's why it got stuck. And now you feel guilty, ashamed that you're getting those thoughts. Also, your brain controls your physical sensations. So a lot of the times people will worry, well, on a physical level, I feel something. Well, what does that mean? And they start to feel guilty and ashamed of that. And again, it's just your ocd. All of this is just a part of ocd. You need to understand that part of the brain doesn't know what the thought is about. It's just a computer. It only understands it as ones and zeros, but it understands your reaction to it. If you are reacting with fear, it gives you auto fear. If you are reacting with I'm afraid of Physical sensations, it will give you physical sensation. If you are reacting with guilt about the content, it will send you autopilot. Guilt, autopilot, shame, autopilot, need to confess. And the more you actually say, if you actually go, not everybody has the need to confess, by the way. So I don't want you to say, well, I don't have the need to confess, then that means something. It doesn't. Some people do, some people don't. I'm just kind of covering all kinds of situations, right? But if you do have this desire to confess, remember that this is just a compulsion. And next time you're going to want to confess more or even within this same thing that you're confessing or about to confess right now, it's going to jump to a new detail. Okay, you confessed it, but you forgot this one little detail. Maybe you need to confess again and over and over and over again. You always have to remember that it's going to just continue to snowball if you don't stop it. Right now, you need to stop this mechanism and stopping the mechanism, meaning manually pressing stop. Right now your brain is working on autopilot, automatically sending you the thoughts, expecting you to automatically react. So manually pressing stop and saying, okay, anything to do with this theme, that's giving me shame, that's giving me guilt, that's making me confess. I'm not going to do this, I'm not going to react this way, I'm not going to do this. And when you refuse, when you put a stop to it and you refuse and you say enough is enough, I'm not doing it. At first it's gonna try to send you even more to try to pull you back into it, but then it will start to subside and it will fully stop. So it's that process of constantly refusing that will stop, stop these thoughts from coming in and stop guilt and shame from coming in. And again, this is when you can employ acceptance. Accepting the thoughts as being there and just being autop. Thoughts that mean nothing. The more you accept them as just that, as just autopilot thoughts, the less intense they will start to become and the less generally emotional attachment you will have to them. I hope you find my videos helpful. Thanks so much for watching. If you would like to do one on one recovery program with me, all the information is on younhuboc.com you can sign up from there and I will see you tomorrow.