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Ali. I'm Ali Graymond. I'm an expert in OCD recovery because for the last 19 years, I've been helping people fully recover from OCD. If you would like to do personal coaching with me, all the information is on youhubocd.com you can sign up from there.
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Let's talk about confessing. Okay. If you are in a situation right now where you feel you need to confess something to someone, let's. Let's just discuss this for a second. First of all, what happened the last time you confessed? I bet you what happened was you either needed to confess some more, so, oh, I forgot this little detail, or I think I told them, but they didn't really understand, or I have to retell them, or maybe something, something, and I have to do it again. Right. Usually this is how it goes. If by some chance you confessed OCD perfect, or all that it's going to do is it's going to move you to the next topic, which will be just as painful and you will want to confess that as well. Because now you're starting the confession mechanism, so you're not winning anything by confessing. Moreover, the person that you're confessing it to, I mean, if it's, especially if it's your partner, it's not a good idea, it's not a relationship make. And if you feel, oh, my God, I just can't be like this, I cannot keep this from this person or from these people, I have to say it. All you're doing is you're just making your OCD worse. I'm telling you right now, whatever it is that you are worried about confessing, it's ocd. You don't need to confess it. Nobody in your position would confess it. Only an OCD person would do this. And because of ocd, so you have to make the correct choice. Because if you do this, if you confess, you are making OCD worse and it will come back stronger because you fed it. And you know this because this is not the first time the situation has happened to you. And this thing that OCD is telling you that, oh, this is going to be with you forever if you don't confess. This is classic what it tells you every single time. Do you really think you will never have another OCD thought for the rest of your life if you don't confess this? I'm telling you that's not true. The only ways to never have another OCD thought is to do recovery work, which means reducing your rumination. So instead of thinking about confessing right now, you need to start tracking your rumination and choose to reduce your rumination. It's a choice. You're making the choice because the more you make the choice, the more you zoom out, the less intense and important the situation will seem. Right now, you're so in it that it feels monumental. You're not seeing the forest for the trees, you're too zoomed in. But when you zoom out, have a little space from it, you're going to see it for what it really is, which is just a nonsense situation. Who cares? Nobody else would confess this, but in order to even see it that way, you need to have distance. Distance from rumination.
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OCD Recovery Podcast with Ali Greymond
Episode Date: June 5, 2025
In this focused solo episode, Ali Greymond addresses the compulsive urge to "confess" obsessive thoughts or perceived wrongdoings—a common compulsion for people struggling with OCD. Drawing from years of personal and professional experience, Ali explains why giving into confession does not provide lasting relief but instead strengthens OCD's grasp, and instead provides actionable advice on how to break this cycle.
Ineffective Relief: Ali asserts that when someone with OCD confesses, the relief is temporary. Confession often leads to the perceived need for further confession, creating a repetitive cycle.
“What happened the last time you confessed? I bet you what happened was, you either needed to confess some more... or I have to retell them, or maybe something, something, and I have to do it again. Right? Usually this is how it goes.” (00:14)
No Permanent Solution: Even if you manage to confess "perfectly," the compulsive urge will likely find another topic to latch onto, continuing the painful cycle.
“If by some chance you confessed OCD perfect, all that it's going to do is it's going to move you to the next topic, which will be just as painful, and you will want to confess that as well.” (00:54)
Relationship Impact: Confessing to close partners, especially repeatedly, can strain relationships and does not address the core issue.
“Moreover, the person that you're confessing it to, I mean, if it's, especially if it's your partner, it's not a good idea, it's not a relationship make.” (01:16)
Uniqueness to OCD: Ali underscores that these compulsions are symptoms of OCD, and that someone without OCD would not feel the same urge to confess trivial or imagined wrongs.
“Nobody in your position would confess it. Only an OCD person would do this. And because of OCD.” (01:41)
Reinforcement of OCD: Each time the compulsion is satisfied (by confessing), OCD is "fed," and the urge will return even stronger next time.
“If you confess, you are making OCD worse and it will come back stronger because you fed it.” (01:48)
Familiar Pattern: Ali points out that listeners have likely experienced this before, reinforcing the futility of confessing to silence OCD.
“This is not the first time the situation has happened to you.” (01:56)
Rumination Reduction: The only way to break free from confession compulsions is to actively reduce rumination—deliberately choosing not to focus on obsessive thoughts.
“The only ways to never have another OCD thought is to do recovery work, which means reducing your rumination. So instead of thinking about confessing right now, you need to start tracking your rumination and choose to reduce your rumination. It’s a choice.” (02:10)
Perspective Shift: By refusing to ruminate, the situation can be seen in clearer, less emotionally-charged terms.
“The more you make the choice, the more you zoom out, the less intense and important the situation will seem. Right now, you're so in it that it feels monumental… when you zoom out, have a little space from it, you're going to see it for what it really is, which is just a nonsense situation.” (02:25)
Encouragement: Ali reassures the listener that although the situation feels urgent, with time and distance, it diminishes in significance.
On the trap of confession:
“Do you really think you will never have another OCD thought for the rest of your life if you don't confess this? I’m telling you that's not true.” (02:03)
On the power of choice:
“You're making the choice because the more you make the choice, the more you zoom out, the less intense and important the situation will seem.” (02:16)
Ali Greymond’s tone is direct, compassionate, and practical. She speaks with authority but also warmth, clearly having personal and professional empathy for listeners.
This episode delivers a concise, actionable message for anyone feeling the urge to confess OCD-driven thoughts. Ali Greymond emphasizes the importance of not feeding the compulsion, reassuring listeners that breaking the cycle is possible by reducing rumination and distancing oneself from intrusive thoughts. This empowering, no-nonsense episode is particularly valuable for those struggling with the confession compulsion—offering both understanding and hope.