Ep 289: Jeff Goldblum

Summary

Podcast Summary: Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster – Episode 289: Jeff Goldblum

Introduction

In Episode 289 of Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster, titled "Jeff Goldblum," comedians Ed Gamble and James Acaster welcome the renowned actor Jeff Goldblum into their whimsical Dream Restaurant. Hosted by Plosive and released on April 23, 2025, this episode delves deep into Jeff's culinary preferences, personal anecdotes, and insights into his multifaceted career, including his latest musical endeavor.

Guest Introduction

The episode kicks off with Ed Gamble enthusiastically welcoming Jeff Goldblum to the Dream Restaurant:

Ed Gamble [08:37]: "We all have that one friend whose opinion we trust on everything…"

Jeff joins Ed and James, bringing his charismatic presence to the conversation. Both hosts express their admiration for Jeff, highlighting his iconic roles in films like Jurassic Park and his unique foray into music.

Jeff Goldblum’s Career and New Album

A significant portion of the discussion centers around Jeff's latest project, his new album:

James Acaster [05:13]: "Jeff Goldblum has an album coming out on the 25th of April on Decca Records. It's called Still Blooming."

Jeff elaborates on his musical journey with the Mildred Snitzer Orchestra, discussing collaborations with notable artists such as Ariana Grande and Scarlett Johansson:

Jeff Goldblum [10:15]: "We have our fourth album, Still Blooming. There are instrumentals and vocal tracks, including collaborations with Cynthia Erivo and Scarlett Johansson."

The hosts express their excitement about the album, with Ed mentioning:

Ed Gamble [05:28]: "Some really amazing guests on it as well… a whole spell of witches!"

Exploring Jeff’s Food Preferences

The core of the episode revolves around Jeff's dream meal, segmented into clear categories: starter, main course, side dish, dessert, and drink.

Starter: Ambrosia Custard

Ed Gamble introduces the concept of a "secret ingredient" and reveals that they've chosen ambrosia custard:

Ed Gamble [07:51]: "The secret ingredient is ambrosia custard."

Jeff humorously regrets not revealing it himself:

Jeff Goldblum [70:59]: "I apologized for everything."

This choice ties into Greek mythology, where ambrosia is considered the food of the gods, adding a mythic flair to the dream menu.

Main Course: Seafood Pasta Extravaganza

Jeff expresses his love for seafood and pasta, emphasizing the importance of freshness and flavor:

Jeff Goldblum [55:27]: "I love seafood pasta. Constantly changing bowl of pasta… constellate dishes."

He reminisces about his favorite childhood meals and how his culinary tastes have evolved, leaning towards spicy and well-cooked seafood dishes.

Side Dish: Adventurous Vegetables

The conversation shifts to side dishes, with Jeff showcasing his adventurous palate:

Jeff Goldblum [37:29]: "I like soy sauce, Tabasco sauce, and all kinds of spicy condiments."

He discusses his appreciation for varied textures in vegetables, preferring them well-cooked yet retaining some bite:

Jeff Goldblum [60:05]: "I like asparagus that's not too fibrous… gentle on the palate."

Dessert: Ultimate Dessert Buffet

Desserts take center stage as Jeff's sweet tooth becomes evident. He advocates for a diverse dessert buffet to satisfy any craving:

Jeff Goldblum [66:40]: "I love sorbet and sinfully delightful ice cream."

He shares his experiences with artisanal gelato in Florence, Italy, highlighting his preference for fresh, high-quality ingredients:

Jeff Goldblum [67:03]: "Artisanal gelato with real ingredients is my kind of dessert."

Drink: Spicy Virgin Mary and Mocktails

Jeff, identifying as a non-drinker, prefers sophisticated mocktails, particularly a spicy Virgin Mary:

Jeff Goldblum [64:36]: "I love spicy Virgin Marys without the alcohol."

He appreciates the complexity of flavors and the balance between spice and warmth in his beverages.

Personal Anecdotes and Family Life

Throughout the episode, Jeff shares heartfelt stories about his family, particularly his two sons, River and Charlie. He describes their engaging personalities and their shared love for food and cooking:

Jeff Goldblum [17:03]: "My nine-year-old son River makes me a cup of coffee every day. He's already a handy barista."

He also touches upon his culinary adventures with his wife, Emily, emphasizing the importance of home cooking and family meals.

Insights into Acting and Creativity

Jeff delves into the craft of acting, discussing the nuances of depicting real-life experiences on screen. He reflects on his roles in various films and the interplay between his acting and musical pursuits:

Jeff Goldblum [19:25]: "Acting is about capturing real emotions and translating them through performance."

His collaboration with directors like John M. Chu and experience working on diverse projects provide listeners with a glimpse into his creative process.

Conclusion

As the episode winds down, Ed and James reflect on the delightful conversation with Jeff. They express their gratitude and excitement about his upcoming album:

Ed Gamble [71:58]: "Go and listen to Jeff's album, Still Blooming, out on April 25th."

Jeff humorously remarks on not revealing the secret ingredient, "ambrosia custard," maintaining the playful spirit of the show. The hosts tease potential future guests, indicating the continued charm and unpredictability of the Off Menu podcast.

Notable Quotes

• Ed Gamble [07:12]: "Ambrosia, James, is the food of the gods in Greek mythology..."
• Jeff Goldblum [10:15]: "We have our fourth album, Still Blooming."
• James Acaster [05:13]: "Jeff Goldblum has an album coming out on the 25th of April."
• Jeff Goldblum [37:29]: "I like soy sauce, Tabasco sauce, and all kinds of spicy condiments."
• Jeff Goldblum [55:27]: "I love seafood pasta."

Final Thoughts

Episode 289 of Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster offers a rich and engaging exploration of Jeff Goldblum’s culinary tastes and personal stories. Through laughter, insightful discussions, and mutual admiration, listeners gain a multifaceted view of Jeff, making this episode a standout in the Off Menu series.

Transcript

[Ed Gamble]

Huge news from Off Menu towers.

[James Acaster]

James Big announcements.

[Ed Gamble]

We've just added extra dates for Off Menu live the tasting menus at the Royal Albert Hall. We will be there on Sunday 15 March 2026 at 2pm Sunday 15 March at 7:30pm it's on Sunday 15 March two shows 2026 tickets from RoyalAlbert Hall.com and ctickets.com.

[Jeff Goldblum]

Now at Verizon we have some big news for your peace of mind for all our customers, existing and new. We're locking in low prices for three years guaranteed on my plan and my home. That's future you peace of mind and everyone can save on a brand new phone on MyPlan when you trade in any phone from one of our top brands that's new phone peace of mind because at Verizon, whether you're already a customer or you're just joining us, we got you. Visit Verizon today. Price guarantee applies to then current base monthly rate. Additional terms and conditions apply for all offers.

[Advertiser]

Does it ever feel like you're a marketing professional just speaking into the void? Well, with LinkedIn ads you can know you're reaching the right decision makers. You can even target buyers by job title, industry company seniority skills. Wait, did I say job title yet? Get started today and see how you can avoid the void and reach the right buyers with LinkedIn ads. We'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign. Get started at LinkedIn.com results, terms and conditions apply.

BetterHelp Online Therapy bought this 30 second ad to remind you right now, wherever you are, to unclench your jaw, relax your shoulders, take a deep breath in and out. Feels better right? That's 15 seconds of self care. Imagine what you could do with more visit betterhelp.com randompodcast for 10% off your first month of therapy. No pressure, just help. But for now, just relax. Instacart is on a mission to have you not leave the couch this basketball season because between the pre game rituals and the post game interviews, it can be difficult to find time for everything else. So let Instacart take care of your game day snacks or weekly restocks and get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes because we hear it's bad luck to be hungry on game day. So download the Instacart app today and enjoy. $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees apply for three orders in 14 days. Excludes restaurants.

[Jeff Goldblum]

We all have that one friend whose opinion we trust on everything for 63% of podcast listeners, that friend is their favorite podcast host. When Acast's podcasters endorse a brand, their audience listens and takes action. So if, if you want a recommendation that really sticks, put your brand in their hands.

[Advertiser]

Book a host.

[Jeff Goldblum]

Red sponsorship today by visiting go.acast.com ads.

[Ed Gamble]

Welcome to the off menu podcast. Taking the bacon of conversation, the fried egg of humour, the black pudding of friendship, the baked beans of joking around with your mates, the what else? Get mushrooms. Of the Internet. Hash browns. Of podcasting. Just general podcasting. What else do you, what else do I like?

[James Acaster]

I mean, the tomato.

[Ed Gamble]

No, I don't want that.

[James Acaster]

No good on you.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't want beans, to be honest, but I feel like you've got to pop them on fried bread. Fried bread. Of fried bread. Of Ed and James. Full English podcast. James.

[Advertiser]

Hello.

[James Acaster]

That is a gamble. My name is James Acaster. Together we own a dream restaurant and every single week we invite in a guest and ask their favorite ever start a make or dessert side dish and drink. Not in that order. And this week our guest is Jeff Goldblum.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, Jeff Goldblum. It's our only bloody Jeff Goldblum, mate.

[James Acaster]

What the fuck?

[Ed Gamble]

What a series, man.

[James Acaster]

I mean, you said full English. This guy's not English.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, he's a full man, though.

[James Acaster]

An icon hero of mine from, I mean, I think the first time I saw him was Jurassic Park.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

When I was a kid, it's one of the first scary films I saw at the cinema. My parents warned me before going, they said, this is scary. Adults are scared of this. You know, James, you know, you're a little kid.

[Ed Gamble]

My mum took me to see to the cinema to see the re release of Bambi and it had sold out so we had to go and see Jurassic park instead. This like for like, yeah, like for like baby.

[James Acaster]

And then after that I was just, I was consuming his films like nobody's business. That era, that, that era of Goldblum, I, I, I was all in on. And then you go back, you're watching the Fly.

[Advertiser]

Oh, yeah.

[James Acaster]

I live him in the Wes Anderson films. There's so much stuff that Jeff Goldman's done that I love. I kind of can't believe we've got him on.

[Ed Gamble]

And you're very similar men, you and Jeff. Thank you, James.

[James Acaster]

The highest compliment Ed's ever paid me.

[Ed Gamble]

Because you're both very good at your chosen art form for which people know you for.

[James Acaster]

Thank you.

[Ed Gamble]

And also you release brilliant albums.

[James Acaster]

Jeff Goldblum has an album coming out on the 25th of April on Decca Records. It's called Still Bloomin. It's Jeff and the Mildred Snitzer Orchestra.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. The album's called Still Bloomin. It is a jazz album. Listen to a few tracks on the way over. James.

[James Acaster]

So did I.

[Ed Gamble]

It's good stuff, baby.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, I loved it.

[Ed Gamble]

Some really amazing guests on it as well. Ariana Grande, Cynthia Erivo, Scarlett Johansson, Maya Sykes, you know.

[James Acaster]

Pretty cool.

[Ed Gamble]

It's pretty cool.

[James Acaster]

Obviously, that's the two witches from Wicked on there.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

And the Scarlet Witch.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Oh, my God.

[James Acaster]

Uh.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, there's so many witches.

[James Acaster]

There's something going on. If that was an artist like Kendrick Lamar, everyone would go, hold on a second. Kendrick's trying to tell us something.

[Ed Gamble]

Guys, it's actually not the Scarlet Witch.

[James Acaster]

Huh?

[Ed Gamble]

It's Black Widow.

[James Acaster]

It's Black Widow. Fuck.

[Ed Gamble]

It's good we got this out of the way.

[James Acaster]

Imagine if we were, like, YouTube conspiracy guys. We'd just, like, stumble. We absolutely just run into a brick wall straight away, realize it, still publish the video.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm so glad. Actually, I'm not glad. I wish you'd said that to Jeff Goldblum and I'd picked you up on that.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thoroughly deserved.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

I love the fact that Jeff has other actors on here as well. Yeah, I think that's fantastic. And the fact that Scarlett Johansson is on the first single, the Best Is yet to Come as well.

[Advertiser]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

That's very exciting for me. She's released her own music, her own.

[Ed Gamble]

Albums that's out now, that single. So you can go and listen to that. You should have more comedians singing on your albums. Get me in for the next party. Gator record.

[James Acaster]

Absolutely. Featuring Ed Gamble. Yeah, I mean, and you play bassoon, so you can do a bit of both.

[Ed Gamble]

Maybe a bit of bassoon. I can only do Three Blind Mice, though, so it would have to be a remix of Three Blind Mice.

[James Acaster]

Count me in. Sign me up. Sold.

[Ed Gamble]

Hi, guys. My name is Ed. I am here with my friend James.

[James Acaster]

Oh, yeah. I'll be in touch.

[Ed Gamble]

Party Guido.

[James Acaster]

We love Jeff Goldblum, but if he does say the secret ingredient, an ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable, we will have to kick him out of the dream restaurant, and it will be with a heavy heart, and we'll feel pretty stupid for doing it. I hate it this week. The secret ingredient is ambrosia. Ambrosia. Custard.

[Ed Gamble]

Ambrosia, James, is the food of the gods in Greek mythology, that's what the Greeks used to eat. Ambrosia the gods, anyway. In mythology.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

That's why ambrosia custard is called Ambrosia custard, I'm assuming.

[James Acaster]

Gotta be.

[Ed Gamble]

Jeff Goldblum played Zeus in chaos on Netflix, which very sadly only got one season and has been told it's not coming back. And I held back watching that because I was like, that's going to be a bummer. And it was. Because the first season was brilliant and Jeff's brilliant in it.

[James Acaster]

They're idiots for canceling.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, they are.

[James Acaster]

It should still be going and we're celebrating it by making ambrosia custard the secret ingredient.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, we are. But I really don't want him to say it because I'm excited to meet him.

[James Acaster]

I really. That's why we've chosen it as a. Chosen a dessert.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

Our other option was Bloomer Bread and that could have been a very short podcast if you chose it. Jeff Goldblum. Because it's still blooming.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Jeff Goldblum bread.

[Ed Gamble]

Also, we've heard Jeff might be running a little bit late. We've got, obviously got a certain amount of time with Jeff.

[James Acaster]

We have a hard out. He's got to go and do the one show.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. So obviously, I mean, you're the one who's got the questions. You sort of need to be across this.

[James Acaster]

Yep.

[Ed Gamble]

To bring.

[James Acaster]

I've got to move this along. Currently, we're looking at an hour exactly with him from the moment he walks in the door. So, you know, I'm going to be on my game.

[Advertiser]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

You're about to see a man on his game.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, this is the off menu menu of Jeff Goldblum. Welcome, Geoff, to the Dream Restaurant.

[Advertiser]

You are so sweet. Thank you. Thank you very much.

[James Acaster]

Welcome, Jeff Goldblum to the Dream Restaurant. I've been expecting you for some time.

[Advertiser]

Wow. What panache. You guys are great. I'm thrilled to be here. Thank you for having me.

[Ed Gamble]

We're delighted to have you here. That was the genie entering the room.

[Advertiser]

That was. Remember I Dream of Genie. Remember that show?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Who starred? Who was the. Who was the genie?

[James Acaster]

Ed Gamble.

[Advertiser]

It's close. Barbara Eden. Right, Right. Yes. Back in your bottle. He would say he was an astronaut. He'd say, back in your bottle. And I believe that was played by the guy who finally was Junior on that show.

[James Acaster]

Anyway, was it before or after Bewitched? I Dream of Jeannie. Was it the same time?

[Advertiser]

I'm mixing it up with Bewitched. I think I just sang the Bewitched song. Which was Elizabeth Montgomery and I Dream of Jeannie was something else. Was. Was Barbara Eden. But any. In any case, similar vibes.

[Ed Gamble]

Similar vibes, yes.

[Advertiser]

Yes. Well, around the. Yes, same time. Similar time.

[Ed Gamble]

Because the witch was the one where she wiggled her nose. Right. And then made things happen.

[Advertiser]

Exactly. Right. Yeah. I can't wiggle my nose like that, but I can wiggle one ear at a time.

[James Acaster]

Well, you can. That is pretty genuine. I never thought I'd see this.

[Ed Gamble]

The problem with the angle that I'm seeing you from, Jeff, is I can only see one ear, so. Oh, no. There you go.

[Jeff Goldblum]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

Is this the case?

[James Acaster]

That'll get you.

[Advertiser]

That's all right.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

That's enough of that.

[James Acaster]

Now, Jeff, before we get into talking about food, we want to talk about Still Blooming, your new album.

[Advertiser]

You're so kind to bring that up. Very excited about it. Yeah. Well, I have this band called Jeff Goldblum and the Mildred Snitzer Orchestra, and on Decca and Verve, we have our fourth album, if you can believe it, coming out April 25th. It's called still Blooming. There are a bunch of instrumentals that we offer on that and some things where we play and some people sing, like Believe it or Not. Well, you've already possibly heard the single that we've released with Scarlett Johansson.

[Ed Gamble]

Incredible.

[Advertiser]

Singing out of the tree of life, I just picked me a plum. I love the way she sings that. We do a little kind of a bossa nova arrangement. And you may have heard, and it's true, the other couple people singing. Cynthia Erivo sings a beautiful song. Do you know this song? Would you know this song? We'll meet again don't know when.

[Ed Gamble]

Very well.

[Advertiser]

It was Vera Lynn around these parts who had a big hit during the war, and then what American director, movie director who moved here, made a movie that ends with that song.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, James loves a quiz.

[James Acaster]

I love a quiz. I absolutely love this.

[Advertiser]

We'll meet again don't know where don't know when I'm gonna give you a.

[James Acaster]

Clue I'm kissed off.

[Advertiser]

It's in black and white, and Slim Pickens, who is in Blazing Saddles, is riding a nuclear bomb. Oh.

[James Acaster]

Dr. Strangelove.

[Advertiser]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's right. Well, amazing. Yeah. There you go. So she sings that and then Ariana Grande sings I don't know why I love you like I do I don't know why I just do. Sings it much better than I am, but there you go. There you go. It's coming out April 25th. Very excited about it obviously.

[Ed Gamble]

Ariana and Cynthia were your co stars in Wicked.

[Advertiser]

Yes, sir.

[Ed Gamble]

Were you recording on set for this? Did you?

[Advertiser]

No, no, no, no. There was much to do on set with the great John M. Chu. We had our hands full. They were fantastic. I met them on that. We got, you know, I should have been intimidated, but they were so warm and cordial and welcoming that we would sing, what with my bushy tailed interest in music in between every take. All the American jazz books, songs that I know and show tunes and they, we had grand time. So at some point and afterwards I said, hey, you know, one thing or another, you know, and they said, yeah, we'd like to record with you. And they did and had the greatest time. And we've been doing this publicity and they're just, still just 2 of the people I admire most in the world.

[James Acaster]

And as the band leader in the studio, are you stepping in and giving a lot of notes? Are you letting people do what they want? What's your vibe in the studio, Jeff?

[Advertiser]

Oh, I'm a humble student. I like to play the piano. I play. It changes my life. I've played since I was a kid and I play every day. I played this morning. I'm going to play on the baftas that are coming up in a couple of days. I play during the In Memoriam section. I play a song at a, at a piano on stage. You know what I play? Here is a quiz. It's from that movie Casablanca. Oh, play it again, Sam.

[James Acaster]

Huh?

[Advertiser]

Yeah. Bogart says play it again, Sam.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, playing against Sam. And then he plays Imagine by John Lennon.

[Advertiser]

Is it by John Lennon?

[James Acaster]

Is it imagined by John Lennon?

[Advertiser]

Imagine. You're way off. You're saying that for comic effect. No, no, Casablanca, you know, Casablanca, it's from that. No, no, this is way before Imagine. There's no people. No, it's way before that. What? No. You really don't know the song?

[Ed Gamble]

I really don't know.

[Advertiser]

Does this, does this ring a bell? Wait a minute, wait a minute. You must remember this. A kiss is just aside.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Advertiser]

As Time Goes by it's called. So I'm playing that in any case. Yes, I like to play. But the real band leader is Alex Frank, who you met out there. He's here today. He's our bass player and creative leader. Oh, yeah, that's what happens. And he really, it's an exciting process. He gives notes to me and everybody and we. But I play with the other guys are fantastic. So I'm just thrilled to be part of that Incredible.

[James Acaster]

Are you a foodie?

[Advertiser]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

This is what we want to know.

[Advertiser]

Well, in the sense that I think you mean these days, somebody who is, you know, a real gourmand. Is that the word?

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

Whose life is dedicated to the finest, can only eat the finest things and fine dining they like. No, I would say no, but. Am I upset? Do I have a lifelong interest, fascination, wonderment, relationship with food and an opinion about every ingredient under the sun? Yes. An ever evolving experimentation with my own, you know, it's fuel, as we know. And so I've experimented down through the years with different diets and regimes. I carried big bags during a few decades ago of carrots and I had a machine when I travel and I ate only carrots for a week and I turned orange and did it really turn you orange? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I had, I got that. Yeah. But anyway, I've gone through many variations. So, you know, I'm still experimenting today with what will do me best, you know, for energy and this and that and. But I have become very, I'm very, you should know, adventurous, I think I've eaten everything, I'll try anything. I have tried everything, I think, but these days, and I'm very easy to please. I like food. I'm grateful to have some nourishment. As we know, we're lucky. There are many people on the planet who, as we're talking about our preferences, who don't have the where, the what with to hold life and limb together. So I've dedicated my life also to the grand mission of making sure that all of our confreres, brothers and sisters will eat sufficient every day. I think that's a great thing to do and it's very possible and to treat well all the other creatures, not only human beings on Earth, so that they have safety and liberty. In any case, having said that, I've gotten to the point these days where I don't want to waste my appetite, which is always healthy. I can always, always eat and I'm always interested in eating, but I don't want to waste just any meal on just filling my stomach up with fuel. Although it's medicine and I want to do that, but I want it to be special and entertaining without being unhealthy and delightful, wonderful, an experience.

[Ed Gamble]

I know exactly what you mean. You don't want to waste. Waste a meal at all. You want it to be nice, delicious, but also make you feel good afterwards. It's a difficult balance to strike.

[Advertiser]

Yes, don't you find? But a worthwhile little mission Endeavor. And I enjoyed doing that with other people because as you know, it's a social event. I have a couple little boys and a wonderful wife and we. And she cooks. And I love home cooking. We'll talk about all that. And I love the boys. They make me things. They're already very handy in the kitchen. One particularly is very helpful. He makes me every day a cup of coffee. We have this nice machine and he knows how to. He's very capable. Better than I can, you know, when he's not there, I kind of don't use it. I don't make myself a coffee. You know, I'm a little bit like that.

[Ed Gamble]

How old is he?

[Advertiser]

Nine.

[Ed Gamble]

That's incredible.

[Advertiser]

He's been doing a nine year old barista. Yeah, yeah. Oh, he's fantastic. He's fantastic. And I'll tell you this now that has come to mind. River, that's Charlie river, who's seven. Another delightful boy. Amazing. He has. We had a pretend kitchen, not like we used to have when I was a kitchen. What was that called? The, you know, easy bake oven. No, he had some wooden blocks that came in the shape of a hard half a half a hard boiled egg and fruit and. And he liked having seen us in our kitchen having some fake pots and pans and coming over and serving. He's always been very giving and sharing and he likes to make things for us. He still does. He's a painter. He likes to give me. Da, da. Here's this. But he used to go spend a long time here. Here's some more food. Now don't. Yum, yum, yum, yum, dum dum. How about that? Those are some of my favorite eating experiences. It was not even real.

[James Acaster]

And it's good practice. You're an actor, but you're always learning.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And you're there. You get to really perfect eating on, you know, so next time you do an eating scene, it was gonna be like, wow, you really ate all that food.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

Well, now you brought up another. That's a portal into another subject which, which interests me greatly. The craft of acting and depicting real life. Yes, there have been. I'm sure you've talked to many people about it. Eating in movies, kneading on stage. Oh, yeah. I could tell you a lot about that.

[Ed Gamble]

That's a fantastic interview technique, by the way. To go. I could tell you a lot about it.

[Advertiser]

Really.

[James Acaster]

Well, thank you.

[Advertiser]

I love you. These guys look great. You know what these guys look like? Wow. What specimens. What? These tattoos are fantastic.

[Ed Gamble]

Thank you. Very much.

[Advertiser]

Oh, my God.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, he's got a lot of tattoos. Don't be. Don't be. Don't let him scare you. He's trying to scare you.

[Advertiser]

They're fantastic. I like tattoos. And a caster. Yeah, a caster. I thought it was a caster when I. Red, of course, but a caster, it reminded me of that. You know that word anima caster. You know what an anima caster is?

[James Acaster]

I don't know that word. No.

[Advertiser]

You know what it is?

[Ed Gamble]

No.

[Advertiser]

It's kind of like a doily, but for the purpose specifically. And your grandmother might have had it, you know, when on the couch, which. Which gets rubbed and might get threadbare.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

You put this little kind of piece of material, kind of doily, like, over it. That's an anima caster.

[James Acaster]

Wow. I relate to that, you know, definitely. Often I can be, like, the buffer between, like, you know, something that someone really values and an unwanted presence.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And I might be the. The thing that goes in between that and stops it from. From getting scuffed, emotionally speaking.

[Ed Gamble]

He's very deep, isn't it?

[Advertiser]

So much to unpack there. What a good brain you've got. Wow. Hey, have you ever eaten brains or all sorts of organ meats or exotic foods?

[James Acaster]

He definitely has.

[Ed Gamble]

I love all that.

[Advertiser]

Really?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

I'll tell. What's that. What's that. What's that called? Wait, wait, wait. What's it called? Oh, oh, Welsh. Rare, but no, that's not. No, brains are called. When you eat brains, that dish is called.

[James Acaster]

Why is it called.

[Advertiser]

You know. You know. You know what I'm thinking of. He'll find it.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you mean, like the general term for all of that stuff?

[Advertiser]

No, no, it's.

[James Acaster]

It's particularly some wooden brains that he can feed. That he feeds you. Did your son have wooden brains in his.

[Advertiser]

No, I don't know. He didn't have that. No. He just had the standard stuff. Although I'm thinking about that movie, I think the second Hannibal Lecter movie.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Advertiser]

Don't. Doesn't he.

[James Acaster]

Right.

[Advertiser]

That's right, Raota. And he starts, without him knowing, eating those fresh. Fresh brains right from his brain. That's. That's gruesome. But, you know, I used to like organ meat of all kinds. I'll tell you about my current regime, health wise. But, you know, liver and all sorts of things. Things we could talk about at length. But what's it called? Yeah, you're not finding it. Okay, okay. What's your name? There's Another name.

[James Acaster]

The great Benito Bonito.

[Advertiser]

What? Give me. I'm very good at this. Give me the first initial of your last name. W. Benito woodhouse. Yes.

[James Acaster]

Correct.

[Advertiser]

P.G. wodehouse.

[James Acaster]

That is correct.

[Advertiser]

Read all of his books, by the way. Is that. Was that close?

[James Acaster]

That is correct. Benito Woodhouse. Now that is his name.

[Ed Gamble]

Now it is. Now whatever you say his name is, is what it is.

[James Acaster]

And we will always say it.

[Advertiser]

Yeah, all right.

[Ed Gamble]

We genuinely will.

[Advertiser]

Good.

[James Acaster]

We always start with still or sparkling water. Jeff, do you have a preference?

[Advertiser]

Very good question. Water, of course, is the stuff of life. We need. We need to stay hydrated. Although I've read recently that you can overdo it. You know, you can get. You can get a little waterlogged. Somebody said this may not be true because, you know, opinions go, you know, are always changing our fluid, as somebody said. And, you know, people with access to, you know, you know, a microphone for an opinion said, yeah, you can really overdo it. The minerals, if you, if you drink too much, you're peeing out all the minerals and don't drink. I used to hear this for. I was macrobiotic for a moment. Michio kushi. Yes. Rice and beans and umaboshi, plum and all that. He said. He said don't drink. I think they said don't drink during the meal. I've never adhered to that. Anyway, this started with water. I would say, I like them both, but during a meal, I would say mostly both, but I'd say mostly flat. But it has to have ice in it. Even if it's cold, I like ice in it. Now, different kinds of water. I'm sure you've discussed and know much about more than I do. I'm not so discerning in my palate. Other people say, oh, this one's salty. Oh, this one's. I like this water better. It's all kind of the same to me. I've never tasted that much difference, difference between a lot of waters, except if it's really, you know, I don't know what. But, you know, all those seem okay to me. I say, I do like ice. Makes it festive, the fizz. The sparkling is okay. Makes me gassy right away in the. In the burping, you know, there's nothing wrong with that. I don't know if other people take to it so much, but I like to, you know what happens when you. When you take that sparkling butter. But that also don't give me sparkling, tepid, room temperature water. I think that's not good. I Don't like that. So give me sparkling. But as long as it's sparkling, I like a little flavor. Don't get me flat with flavor. Those, you know. Oh, this is a little strawberry. No, it's not. It just has a hint of that and a hint is not good enough for me. And anyway, don't put citrus in it. I don't want lime or lemon necessarily. I want, you know, these days I'm not a big drinker and we'll talk about that. But I like a mocktail. So a mocktail has something sometimes. Yes. Fizzy about it, doesn't it? And then all the other ingredients. And I'm open minded. As a matter of fact, I'd rather somebody else surprise me.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Advertiser]

I say give me whatever you got. Not too sugary sweet. Although I'm, I, I'm not supposed to be avoiding sugar that much. So I can have a little syrup. This little syrup. Although natural ingredients I do like in theory. So, you know, it can be festive and tasty and it can have a little, you know, mint sprig in it if it's well done and.

[Ed Gamble]

But no citrus in the water.

[Advertiser]

Well, it can, yes, at that point. If it's a whole offering. Sure. And it's best if I've never had it before. It's a surprise and I kind of always like it.

[James Acaster]

Do you want to hear the one question that we prepared in advance?

[Advertiser]

Sure.

[James Acaster]

Do. Do you want your water to be trembling every now and again?

[Advertiser]

That's very funny. You're referring to Jurassic Park, 1990s. 3. Because just like this is how they did it, they filmed this. You can't see what I'm doing. Maybe you can. Somebody was doing this because there you go. And I go, oh, I'm getting a little, I'm getting a little, you know, anxious here. There's. Oh, come on, come on. It's got, you know, et cetera, et cetera. Sure, we all know about that. Hey, how about that scene in that movie where I go here, Laura Dern, look, this is chaos theory. You don't know where the drive.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, it goes down there exactly. Goes down the other way.

[Advertiser]

You can't predict where it's gonna dribble. That's the chaos theory, you know, Etc. Etc.

[James Acaster]

Very hypnotic the way you deliver that monologue. I remember. Just get really drawn in by it.

[Advertiser]

Really.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, it's very, it's very the way you're describing it and because it's just like little, the way you're just moving your fingers.

[Advertiser]

I Take that as a great compliment. But I credit it all with my scene partner, the great Laura Dern, and of course, Steven Spielberg, who knows how to tell a story. You can't be good in a movie unless you're in a good movie directed by a good director. That's my current thinking.

[James Acaster]

Am I right in thinking that he directed Schindler's List the same year that he did Jurassic Park?

[Advertiser]

As the story goes, he was. He was editing Jurassic park and already in pre production for Schindler's List, where he traveled quickly after and what he is. Both those movies, I think came out like the same year. How about that?

[James Acaster]

It's insane, isn't it?

[Advertiser]

Genius. Yes, he's quite a genius. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I watched it the other day, Jurassic Park. I just really felt like watching it again. Just about two weeks ago on a Sunday. Watched it again. Loved it. It was one of my. Ed and I were talking earlier, one of the first films we were allowed to see in the cinema. That was scary. Like our parents told. Yeah, we're little and our parents were like, this is a scary film. You know, and one of the best experiences I've ever had in cinema. One of the most memorable.

[Advertiser]

Yeah, people like that. I watch that. I have a. The algorithm knows that. I like these letterbox little things where people give their four favorite things, you know, I'm delighted to see how often Jurassic park comes up. Isn't that something? It's uncommon. It's not. So it's special to be in a movie that over the course of, you know, a few decades later, still, you know, it's a perfect film remembered and people kind of get a kick out of it. Yeah, that's all Steven Spielberg and the confluence of the technology at the time, you know, the CGI newly sort of pioneered stuff that Stan Winston animatronically and then Dennis Mirren did cgi.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, I was saying to James, I was being taken to the cinema by my mum to see the re release of Bambi, but it had sold out. So instead she went, oh, this film Jurassic Park's on. We should go and see that. It was quite the shock.

[Advertiser]

I can imagine. How old were you, may I ask?

[Ed Gamble]

Well, what year did we decide it was?

[Advertiser]

92. 93.

[Ed Gamble]

92, 93. So I would have been seven, seven or eight.

[Advertiser]

That's the age of. That's right, River. Just between our two boys now. Well, I'm constantly thinking because I'm dying to show the movies, we try to keep them off of screens generally in order to be human. And present and all that and let their brains develop. So. So Emily, my wonderful wife and their wonderful mother, keeps movies as a treat for them if they've behaved well. But I'm dying to show them. And the question becomes, what do you show them? Yeah, what? And what's too scary? You know, I, I hope nobody judges me harshly for having shown them the Elephant Man. I. David lynch and the Elephant man is disturbing, dark material. But I think the upshot thematically is that, you know, is healthy and wholesome.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Advertiser]

And I think they, they were okay with that. They in fact pride themselves too overconfidently with being able to take the scariest. They said, what's the scariest movie you've ever seen? They want to see that. And they now know how to sneak on and see the trailers. And anyway, they want to see all that. I've shown them some James Bond movies which I got a big kick. I hit the right moment. When Sean Connery was first doing Doctor Known, From Russia with Love and Goldfinger, I showed them those movies. They liked them a lot. Both kids who are playing piano now. By the way, river plays the James Bond theme. I got a big kick out of that. But I haven't shown them the new Daniel Craig ones because they're a bit nerve jangling and adult in all sorts of ways. So the question is just like you say, yes, the Fly.

[Ed Gamble]

Is it the fly? The first one?

[Advertiser]

Well, I haven't shown them the Fly. No.

[James Acaster]

And the Elephant Man. Correct me if I'm wrong. That's the one where the guy gets in a machine and an elephant gets in as well.

[Advertiser]

And then they're mixing me being here. You're mixing, mixing us up. No, no, John Hurt played the Elephant Man. Yeah, I love that. Pop knobs or bread? Pop dubs or bread?

[James Acaster]

Jeff Goldblum, Pop dubs or bread?

[Advertiser]

What did you say?

[James Acaster]

Pops or bread?

[Ed Gamble]

I will translate. James said poppadoms or bread.

[Advertiser]

Oh, that's your next choice, of course. I knew you said that. Well, if you're really asking, although you're scared. Did you see how easily I like scary movies myself? And I don't mind a jump scare, even though it makes me jump. I'm an easy jumper. Well, you, you, you, you, you're up, you're. You're talking up my alley because why could we. Let's talk about bread. We could talk about all manner of bread. All sorts of bread. My likes and dislikes. But Papa Dom, I know it from my Indian enthusiasms. Oh, I love Indian food. I love Spicy food. Vindaloo, this and that. I love. What is that? Cardamom? Some of those curry flavors. Oh, I love it. And when you get that, well, naan, that's a more dangerous and sinfully delicious, you know, doughy thing. That scares me a little bit. I love it. I love garlic. I'm a big garlic man, so I love garlic naan. And when it's warm, I love all that stuff. But papadam, I love it. Especially when it's well done. And I tell them, hey, these days, can you not fry it? Can you bake it? For some reason, I have the idea that that's a little better for me and it still comes out okay. But I like crunchy things. I like snacks. I like a crunchy breadstick or a chip or a cracker. I'm very enthused about crackers.

[Ed Gamble]

You like texture? You're a texture man.

[Advertiser]

Well, yes, all sorts of textures, including the crunchy. And I hanker for a crunchy, crispy thing here and there. So I love. I love papa dum. Yes. And it's got a little bite to it, doesn't it? It's got a little kick to it. There's a little spice on that, too. Oh, man. So good. Hey, you just made me think. Dosa. Dosa. Do you know the Indian? Yes. In New York, there's a place called the Hampton Chutney Company that I used to pass every day on my way because I was doing a play downtown. I used to pass and I used to get in the mat. In between the matinee and the evening show, I'd go to this place. It's an Indian, you know, kind of pizza bread, kind of big thing upon which they put, you know, various things. And then. Geez, that was good. Speaking of which, you've just made me think of chutney. Chutney.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

Because with all this, you know, in that same chapter, we got to talk about chutney.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

I. We're spending a lot of time right now. I'm switching. Forgive me for switching my brain as you've lit my brain on fire. We're spending a lot of time in Florence, Italy.

[James Acaster]

Oh, yeah, lovely.

[Advertiser]

Yeah. And talk about food there. But one of the places, there's a restaurant called Camillo's, which we like very, very much. We recommended it to Wes Anderson. Not to drop names, but he is a connoisseur of the great place and the great meal.

[Ed Gamble]

Amazing.

[Advertiser]

I've known. Yes, he's provided many of those. We said, hey. He said, we're coming To Florence. What do you think? We said, try this. He loved it. Anyway, they've got, you know, all the Italian things that all those Tuscan places do, but they also have curry. Couple of curry dishes. Oh, wow. Some shrimp and some chicken with rice and this curry that they make fantastically. And this homemade chutney, which is great.

[Ed Gamble]

I feel like we should put that chutney somewhere on your dream menu then, Jeff.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, of course.

[Advertiser]

You're telling. Well, now you've opened the portal. Yes, you should. Yes, but you've opened the portal also, because I'm still thinking I haven't. I'm circling the Runway on all these, as you can tell, because I've got a whole garden of thoughts about all this. And I thought you were the right people to.

[Ed Gamble]

Absolutely, yes. We'll join you in the garden. We'll have a walk around, air them.

[Advertiser]

Yes. To walk around this garden and start to prune and start to landscape and figure out exactly how we're going to design this thing finally or ever changingly. But condiments, yes. If you're talking about chutney, we can talk about all manner of delicious, because I like them sauces and additions and condiments and mustards and ketchups and tomato things and pomodoro and everything.

[Ed Gamble]

In that vein, what's in your fridge regularly? What are your regular condiments that you know are always going to be in there?

[Advertiser]

Very interesting. Very interesting. When, you know, when Emily met me 13 years ago, I was a kind of a bachelor type. And she has added the woman's touch such that in my refrigerator, when she met me and she came over that first night, I opened. I said, what would you like? I opened it up. I had a. I think some Pellegrino in there and some cartons of Chinese takeout food. And that was about it. Now you should see it. It's a glorious display of items. So right now, because I contribute and what I've contributed, I'm kind of a. I might be the most condiment. Enthusiastic in our house. I like mustard. So does she. She's French butter. She has a very particular taste and conviction about butter. But I like Coleman's English mustard. The hotter and the more disturbing, the better. I like that. Just a little goes a long way. But I like it. I can take it, and I like it. You know, there's Dijon mustard, which I think she likes, which goes nicely when you mix it up into a salad dressing with a nice real olive oil, you know, and this and that. And so you know, mustard. But I like a yellow mustard that you get at the ballpark that you know. Or in the delicatessen, a friend.

[Ed Gamble]

A French's mustard, weirdly called a French.

[Advertiser]

Yes, French's. That's right. Even though it's not French's. Or there are other, you know, in whole foods, the 365 yellow mustard. Yeah, they're all. Not dissimilar. I like all of that stone ground, not my favorite thing. But I'm open. There's 100 mustards, I'm sure. Honey mustard. Not my favorite thing, you know, but. So those are a couple of my things also in the refrigerator. Well, is there ketchup? Well, here's what there is soy sauce or tamari or all the different variations.

[Ed Gamble]

Of that in the fridge. You're keeping your soy sauce in the fridge?

[Advertiser]

Yeah. Shouldn't I, you know, I'm always open to how I, how I manage these things. Some things are refrigerant you put in their fridge. Some things you don't. Some, you know, I bought the other day. I like fish these days on my.

[Ed Gamble]

Let me keep that in the fridge, huh? Keep the fish in the fridge.

[Advertiser]

Well, if it's opened. But my, somebody bought for me, my little, my helper. I said, get me some. I need on hand. If I really need an infusion of fish in the middle of the day on my own, quickly, I want to be able to go in and open a tin of sardines or of, you know, there's tuna, there's all kind of, you know, there's these, I like these restaurants. There's a place called Salty Girl in Los Angeles now and Connie and Ted's, they have, you know, tins, a list of a hundred tins. I, I, I've had two of them, but I'd like to sample all of them.

[Ed Gamble]

And they can be quite expensive, those tins as well, can't they? If they're from like, this is, like.

[Advertiser]

This could be a higher end item. Yes, yes. I don't know how much these sardines were. But the helper, believe it or not, this is what made me think of it put them having not been opened in the refrigerator. I went, wait a minute, I might have been wrong. I said, well, maybe too harshly. I said, wait a minute. I think these, before they're opened, need to go in the pantry. Not because that oil that they're packed in is going to be congealed when I open that thing. I don't think that's right.

[Ed Gamble]

I think you're right.

[Advertiser]

See? Yeah. Once it's opened, you put it in there. Anyway, how'd we get onto that? So I like fish of all. Oh, what's in my refrigerator? Well, I'll tell you. So soy sauce. Yes. In the refrigerator. Yeah, you may be right.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, no, I mean, I wouldn't. I mean, sometimes it differs country to country, doesn't it? Because eggs. In America, you have to keep them in the fridge. In the UK, you can keep them outside the fridge.

[Advertiser]

Is that true?

[Ed Gamble]

That's true.

[Advertiser]

Why? Just the cultural sensibility or.

[Ed Gamble]

No, it's to do with how they're prepared and how they're. Yeah, that's the news to me. Look it up. But it's, it's really. Yes.

[Advertiser]

To make Interesting. Really interesting. I'm gonna look more into that. These days, I'm having only egg whites. I did that years ago. Then somebody said, oh, no, no, you should eat the whole egg. That's always changing that opinion, you know, nowadays they said, oh, no, no, you should be careful. Just eat the egg whites. Which is fine with me. I was never crazy about those yellows anyway. And da, da, da, da, da, da. So there's egg whites. I have a carton of just the whites. You know, I don't know how good that is, but I use them. I like them. So there's soy sauce, but along with the soy sauce, if I have rice, I like soy sauce, but I like Tabasco sauce. And you know, that opens the doorway to talking about every kind of pepper sauce. I was on that show, Hot Ones, you know, and you know that they've got a hundred. And there are people who devote their lives, whose hobby it is. Oh, and they grow peppers and they make their own pepper sauce. Well, you know, I like all that, but I, I, I go with that Tabasco sauce. I, you know, if it comes upon me, if I happen upon another one that somebody says, oh, you got to have that one. That'll be fine. I like the green. I like the green Tabasco sauce, which is that southwestern green salsa kind of related.

[James Acaster]

Underappreciated. Underappreciated. The green.

[Advertiser]

You've never appreciated the green.

[James Acaster]

Underappreciated, Underappreciated. I would say it doesn't get it. Not by me.

[Ed Gamble]

I like the smoked one as well. Have you had the smoky one?

[Advertiser]

Oh, I know what you're talking about. The smoked red. Yep. And I like it. I like anything smoked. I like smoked fish. Yesterday we went to a restaurant here. There was very, very good, and we got smoked a dish with smoked Mackerel, I think. And smoked something else. Oh, that was good. That was good. You know, I like. What is it? Smoked salmon. Well, smoked salmon. And I went to I love. I love and gravlox or all the different variations of a smoked salmon. I went to Scandinavia, some Scandinavian country here and there. And for the first time they put out a spread of many different kinds of herring.

[Ed Gamble]

Nice.

[Advertiser]

And I was thrilled. I was in ecstasy because I had discovered in my early adult life Japanese food. Not in Pittsburgh, where I grew up. I don't think they had it much. But you know, it came into prominence in the 70s when I went onto stage in New York and they. There was a sushi restaurant so called. What, what, what's that? We all went as a cast. I went, sure. Raw fish. Yes, right. I loved it. I loved it. It's been a regular part of my life ever since and it's evolved into many different places and variations. We went the other day just with our friend in LA to a place that was a descendant of Nazawa. Some people will know that's the trust me guy who originally was very harsh with hey, if you want California roll here or soy sauce on there, I'm throwing you out. There are many descendants, which is trust me, which I like. As you already know, I've told you, I like to be surprised and leave it into somebody else's hands. Chef's choice. Here you go, one after another. I loved it.

[Jeff Goldblum]

Now at Verizon we have some big news for your peace of mind for all our customers, existing and new. We're locking in low prices for three years guaranteed on my plan and my home. That's future you peace of mind and everyone can save on a brand new phone. On MyPlan. When you trade in any phone from one of our top brands, that's new phone piece of mind. Because at Verizon, whether you're already a customer or you're just joining us, we got you Visit Verizon today. Price guarantee applies to then current base monthly rate. Additional terms and conditions apply for all offers.

[Advertiser]

Instacart is on a mission to have you not leave the couch this basketball season because between the pre game rituals and the post game interviews, it can be difficult to find time for everything else. So let Instacart take care of your game day snacks or weekly restocks and get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes because we hear it's bad luck to be hungry on game day. So download the Instacart app today and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees apply for three orders in 14 days. Excludes restaurants.

Race the rudders. Race the sails. Race the sails. Captain, an unidentified ship is approaching.

[James Acaster]

Over.

[Advertiser]

Roger, wait. Is that an enterprise sales solution?

Reach sales professionals, not professional sailors. With LinkedIn ads, you can target the right people by industry, job title and more. We'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign. Get started today at LinkedIn.com results, terms and conditions apply.

BetterHelp Online Therapy bought this 30 second ad to remind you right now, wherever you are, to unclench your jaw, relax your shoulders, take a deep breath in and out. Feels better, right? That's 15 seconds of self care. Imagine what you could do with more. Visit betterhelp.com randompodcast for 10% off your first month of therapy. No pressure, just help. But for now, just relax.

Your customers are scrolling past your social ads, using ad blockers and paying for ad free streaming. But when they're listening to a podcast, they're hearing Acast ads, which are 4.4 times more engaging than with display ads. So if you want real attention, start advertising on podcasts with Acast. Start today at go.acast.com ads.

[James Acaster]

Your dream starter, Jeff We've walked around the garden.

[Advertiser]

Keeping us on track. Let's steer us, get us to the destination, get me to the church on time. Your dream starter, Jeff Goldman, dream starter. Well, you've gotten to know me a little bit, so I could only circle the Runway. But if, if anticipated because it always is a question of, well, what am I going to have for the starter? Because it, it's determined by what I'm going to have for the main. I don't want to repeat. I want there to be some, of course, variation.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

If I'm going to have a piece of fish for the main, I don't think I'll start with, you know, more fish. But so many of those things are good these days. Of course, you know my, my feeling about Japanese food. So all that stuff they do with sashimi with yellow tail, fantastic. All those traditional seafood, you know, crustacean towers. I love, I love crab and lobster and particularly, you know, in shrimp cocktail if it's very good and the sauces that come with that. Okay. But, but I'm an oyster fan. Yeah, I like oysters if they're good. I had a bad oyster or my wife did. I won't even say where it was, but it was really bad.

[Ed Gamble]

Bad.

[Advertiser]

It was smelly bad. She put in her mouth, she spit it out and the proprietor Said, oh, oh, sorry, we'll comp that. You'd think they would have said, oh, no, Mrs. Goldblum, the whole meal, please, for the next year you come back. They said, oh, yeah, that's a free. That's a free one. You don't have to pay for that one. Something like that. We were like, oh, okay, I haven't been back there since. But, oh, it was really bad.

[Ed Gamble]

Did she eat the rest of the oysters after there was that bad one?

[Advertiser]

You know, I may have been put off the rest of the oyster plate at that point. Even myself in this place. And let's get out of here. So it has to be just like sushi. I wouldn't get that just any place. No, no, no. I've already said I'm no, I'm no fancy pants. But. But I do like a special. If it's. If it's raw fish, it's got to be right. I used to eat steak tartare. My son loves steak tartare. Loves it. Would get it every time. Yeah, they like. Likes to make a scene. It made at the table. He likes. He pitched in, he learned how to. The chef was very nice, et cetera, et cetera. But anyway, no, the oyster. And the oysters have to be just so. I don't want any shell in my mouth and I don't want it attached. I want it fresh, but I don't want it attached to the shell.

[Ed Gamble]

You want someone to have shucked it properly for you.

[Advertiser]

Exactly. So I wanted to. And I like to put a lot of lemon on it and then maybe that's it. And then slurp it down. I like ones that are particularly briny and salty. I don't know anything about them. When they say, oh, you fill out this thing and tell me, I don't know. And even when they come and say, here are the ones in here that.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't remember, I agree with you so much, I leave it to them.

[Advertiser]

I say, here's what I want. I want to be reminded of the ocean. I want to feel like I'm swimming in the ocean. Salty. So I want saltier the brinier, the better. Yeah, that's. That's. My wife says, just anything but small. I do. I don't care. It can be biggish, but I want it salty.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't like it when they call them creamy. I don't know how you feel about that.

[Advertiser]

I don't like that either.

[Ed Gamble]

That puts me creamy.

[Advertiser]

Doesn't sound right to me. No. Or too big. That you have to chew it. Chew it. My son river likes them. Yeah, but he, like, bites it and have me in a few bites. I'm like, oh, I don't like that. But anyway, you want to.

[James Acaster]

Straight down.

[Advertiser]

Straight down and then some. What's that called? Mignette sauce? Or is that with a little, you know, vinegar and I like that. As you know, I like Tabasco sauce.

[Ed Gamble]

I. I can't believe this basket didn't come up immediately because we know you love Tabasco, so I thought that's going straight on the oyster sometimes.

[Advertiser]

No, it depends. You know, we go in a place these days, they have a, you know, different people have different, you know, things that they give. One place has a. Like a medic medicine dropper, like an eye dropper. I. Sorry. If you're listening, they're. They're far away. They won't listen. I don't like that. We've never complained. I never said I don't like it, but I don't like it.

[Ed Gamble]

Too medical is.

[Advertiser]

It's too medical, too laboratory. I don't want to take that thing out and. Doesn't work anyway. I want a little spoon and, you know. But as you saw. As you see, I have strong feelings about many, many things. So that's. That's a possible starter. Besides that, you know. Salads. Let's talk about salads. I've heard you talk about Caesar salads. Yeah, well, as you know, I like garlic. I like anchovies. But listen to this. I have. I'll bet you've never heard this, and I've never said this publicly.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay, we got an exclusive.

[James Acaster]

There we go.

[Advertiser]

Okay. Anchovies. I love them. I love them on pizza.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

I love. When I was a kid, I remember opening that tin and what's this? This is the saltiest fish. I love salty things. So I went, great, great. I ate the whole tin, and it was wrapped up with a little caper in the middle, by the way. I like a caper. But. But in. In my. In moderation, I'm not sure what. How I feel about those big capers. They call those capers, too, with a big stem.

[Ed Gamble]

Caper berries. They say. Caper berries.

[Advertiser]

Sometimes caper berries.

[James Acaster]

Too big.

[Advertiser]

I'm not sure how I feel. It's okay, but I'm not sure I would. Hey, speaking of which, do you know that fruit that is so omnipresent and everything that stick those little twigs with the bunch, it looks like, you know, Christmas holly, Those little red berries. What are those called? And you can Take them off like that or take it off like that. And they're kind of tart. What are those called? You know what I'm talking about.

[James Acaster]

I'm not. I know what you're talking about. I'm not sure what they're called, though.

[Advertiser]

Yeah, neither do I. They're okay. But, you know, not my favorite. Speaking of which. Nuts. Nuts. Because yesterday we had a. We were on the plane. We got a ramekin, by the way. That's the correct term.

[Ed Gamble]

Absolutely.

[Advertiser]

And you know what I like these days? Well, I like a salty nut.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, me too.

[Advertiser]

And I like a warm nut. And I like. I think, the best. I pick them out first. Something like a walnut or a pecan. I think that's great. And I like if it's salty or spicy or sugary.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

You know, that's okay for me, too. Cashew probably is my next choice there. Almonds. It has to be really savory or sweet. Yeah. You know what I don't like? I don't like. Here's why. Water is. When water is really good to wet. The whistle. I like that. Now, what I don't like is a peanut is fine because those are salty. I don't know about shelling things.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

As a matter of fact, I don't know about edamame.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

Unless it's salty on the outside and you get some of that salty as.

[Ed Gamble]

You just pull it up, suck the pods.

[Advertiser]

Yeah. But peanuts. Okay. Pistachios, I like if they're very salty, but I don't know if I. I don't want to do work.

[Ed Gamble]

They do bags of the unshed. They shell before you.

[Advertiser]

Right. That's good. But then I can go to two quickly. You know, put 20 in my mouth at the same time. It's probably good to have to work, but I don't like to work. My kids like a lobster with some tools, and they say, watch this. No, go to work. Or they take a boat. They eat me. They're meat eaters. And for good or ill, you know, I'm sorry if you don't like that, but they get a bone and they go to town on that bone or a chicken, and they, like, are far, like in.

[Ed Gamble]

But I think if you're going to be 2001, if you're going to be a meat eater, you've got to have the bones. You've got to have all of that.

[Advertiser]

So I'm not a meat eater these days, and I've never liked the bones. I've always liked meatloaf. Or a meatball or Bolognese sauce or ragu. Something that's already done for me. I don't want to work and I don't want to come upon anything that's like gristle or tendon or anything. I don't like that. So I don't think I'm. I think I'm a natural non meat eater now. I'm eating, you know, fish and this and that. Anyway, I got started on that. Hey, you know what nut I don't like? Brazil nut. The large Brazil nut. Boy, that's a boring nut. I'm sorry. Yeah, lovers.

[James Acaster]

It could go to hell.

[Advertiser]

Yeah, yeah. I like the macadamia. Yeah, maybe a little fatty, but I like. Especially when it's sugared and something like that. Anyway, don't get me started.

[James Acaster]

Your dream main course, Jeff.

[Advertiser]

Now you're not good. Keep me on track. Okay. By the way, we were going to talk about. I just, just salads. Let's, let's, let's. I love a Caesar salad. That's how we got. Oh, I never told you about anchovies. I like the brown. I don't like the white. Okay, yeah, you. I could talk for hours about that. But that's all you need to know for now. I. Croutons are okay, but if I'm really going to go for bread, it's got to be a good crouton and it's got to be a good Caesar salad. There's a lot of bad Caesar salads around.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

If they make it at the table. If it's very garlicky and very fishy, I like it if it's already mixed up. Sometimes I like a chopped salad. Sometimes those big leaves, you gotta do some work.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

As you know, I'm lazy, so I'll chop it up all. But I, you know, in a big leaf. What do you do? You'd start to eat it in a few different bites. Okay, it's okay. But anyway, I like something chopped. But they're delicious things in all sorts of ways and many different salads are great. But anyway, let's put that to bed for now. Main course. You say the main course.

[Ed Gamble]

The main course. You've got oysters for your starter.

[James Acaster]

Delicious.

[Ed Gamble]

Just so you know where you're at in the meal, we'll give you a whole seafood tower. How about that?

[Advertiser]

Sure, sure. By the way, hey, with that. See, you know, the, the, the more obscure part, you know, element of that seafood tower here and there in France, I think might be the per. Is it called periwinkle?

Yeah, yeah.

Is it that little? It's not a. It's a small, It's a tiny.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Advertiser]

That you have to get out of there with a straight pin.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Advertiser]

I don't like that. Too much work, too little reward. By the way, escargot is okay, but I like the butter and the garlic. I'm not sure what kind of meat there is. Hey, I like clams with a linguine. I like all kinds of noodles. Don't get me started on noodles, but clams. Oh, I like clams. A nice clam in, you know, well done mussels I'm not so sure about. Too big. Yeah, too much personality. Too much work here and there and a little bit of work, but it's a little too big, a little too pink.

[Ed Gamble]

What do you mean by too much personality?

[Advertiser]

Well, sometimes it's got a seam with some hair. I don't know, it seems like an entity of some kind. I don't know.

[James Acaster]

I have to push you for your dream main course.

[Advertiser]

Okay, here we go. Main course. Well, if I could have a plate of pasta, you know. Oh my God. My mom used to make only one bowl in a kind of a translucent green, dark green bowl, spaghetti with meat sauce that I then came to realize was bolognese or ragu or so it was simple, but I loved that. And then we just had the regular craft parmesan cheese that came out of the thing, you know. Now I've come to know all the other ways that you can have the haha and parmesan. I'm not eating cheese right now. I'm not eating dairy, so I missed that a little bit. But I'm easy to please. I like all the things I can eat. But I love, I love that, I love that.

[Ed Gamble]

And that's nostalgia as well. And that, you know, having your mum's pasta in that bowl.

[Advertiser]

Oh, it's fantastic.

[Ed Gamble]

You can't beat that, can you?

[Advertiser]

No, but it has been beaten many times by noodles through the years, through the decades. Oh my God. I've had many, many noodles of all of which I've have driven me into a wild ecstasy, you know, I love it and I like, as you know, fish. This is what I'm allowed to eat now. And I like it best, I think. Although, you know, bolognese, that's all great, but a fish, I like a seafood, a seafood spicy seafood, linguine, you know, or even a, you know, a fake zucchini pasta, you know, that's okay if you're really veganing it up. But noodles with that. So I love all that.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Advertiser]

So that. That, that might be it. Or risotto. I love a risotto with seafood in it. I like a bolia base. I like, you know, any of that, you know, any of that kind of stuff. You know, I like gumbo with. Has had some sausage and I love a sausage. I love a bower of breakfast. You know, all of that. All of that stuff. Yes, I love all of that. Wait, I was going to say something about the noodles and of course. Oh, I know what I was going to say. I like Thai food and I like, you know, Asian noodles. I like, you know, and all that is fantastic. But you know what I like now in my more particular years? I like hot food. And if they're gonna give me that pasta, I like it just those first few bites. Not so it burns my mouth. I'll blow on something and I'll endure those first few bites. But they're my favorite. And then when it's really hot, I love it the best. But sometimes, given their presentation, by the time you get halfway through, even if you're, you know, Johnny on the spot and you keep going, you keep working halfway through, it's not hot enough for me. I don't send it back and say, hey, reheat this, but I'm less interested.

[Ed Gamble]

But we've got a genie here. This is the dream restaurant. So we can give you a pasta dish that is exactly the right temperature.

[Advertiser]

For you throughout the whole dish, immortally, infinitely, it stays. It's like a miracle.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, miracle pasta. I can do that for you.

[Advertiser]

Delightful genie. Fantastic. So, you know, something like you, you get the area that I'm very enthused about right now.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Seafood pasta. But like, yeah, maybe another noodle. We can, you know, we could have a constantly changing bowl of pasta.

[Advertiser]

Jeff, now you're talking. I like that. Well, I like a buffet, I like a tapas. I like, you know, Japanese food. Because a little of this, a little of that, it keeps changing. You give me a big piece of fish and it gets boring.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

Halfway through. Or a big piece of meat or something.

[Ed Gamble]

We'll take you around the world in pasta. How about that?

[Advertiser]

I love that idea. Okay, good. It's James and Fuhad from Shits and Geeks Podcast, and we're here to talk.

[Ed Gamble]

About Boost Mobile, the newest 5G network in the country.

[Advertiser]

With compelling deals for new lines, Boost.

[Ed Gamble]

Mobile makes it easy to switch. Today, Boost Mobile's new network delivers customers.

[Jeff Goldblum]

The speed and service they'd expect from the big three plus groundbreaking benefits you'd only get from a true challenger in the industry. These include letting people try the network risk free for 30 days and offering.

[Ed Gamble]

A dollar 25 per month unlimited plan.

[Jeff Goldblum]

That'S guaranteed to never go up in price.

[Ed Gamble]

They have blazing fast 5G and plans for all the latest devices.

[Advertiser]

Visit your nearest Boost mobile store and.

Find us [e-mail] does it ever feel like you're a marketing professional just speaking into the void? Well, with LinkedIn ads, you can know you're reaching the right decision makers. You can even target buyers by job title, industry, company seniority, skills. Wait, did I say job title yet? Get started today and see how you can avoid the void and reach the right buyers with LinkedIn ads. We'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign. Get started at LinkedIn.com results, terms and conditions apply.

[James Acaster]

Dream side dish Chef.

[Advertiser]

Ooh. Well, as you hey, you know what? I've been accused of making sounds while eat too like Bill Murray's character in what About Bob? My kids go get dada da da. Shut up. Because I, I, I, I vocally I enjoy my foods. You know, I really enjoy my foods. So side dishes. Ooh. So many things can be called side dishes. You know, you go into Italian restaurants and I say, oh yeah, give me a, a piece of fish. Hey, can I have just a half order of pasta on the side so that, you know, we could say. But let's say that's not a side dish. Let's say that the, the ones currently making the rounds because these are always changing.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

And some restaurants are very unusual and exotic and I like that best. If I've, hey, I've never had that as a side. How is that? And they say good and here. But I like, you know, vegetables of all kinds. If those are sides, you know, every, every manner of things. Asparagus. I, I, if I get asparagus, I hope that the bottom half of it that isn't too fibrous and inedible.

[Ed Gamble]

Woody.

[Advertiser]

Yeah, woody. So you have to cut off. It's okay. But I really would rather not cut off that first, you know, half and only eat the head of it, which.

[Ed Gamble]

Is, you know, the way to do that if you're cooking it. Have you seen this? You, you get the asparagus and you bend it slightly and it will always snap at the point where it's the fresh bit on top and then the woody bit comes off.

[Advertiser]

I like that.

[Ed Gamble]

Will always snap in the right place.

[Advertiser]

I'm calling, I want you on my speed dial. You're the holder of much information that I really need. So I like vegetables, but you know what al dente is? I'm not so enthused. I like if it's too, you know, undercooked broccoli, Brussels sprouts. I don't want a hard brussels sprout, but I like a well cooked vegetable. Not soggy, but I like a softer, all the way through. Softer Brussels sprout and carrot and asparagus and et cetera, et cetera. Peas, I love, I think it's so. Peas are wonderful. If they're real and good, all of that is good. But I don't mind them juiced up a little with some spice and some. Whether it's a Thai or whether it's some version of salty, spicy, tasty. I like garlic and cilantro and I like everything like that. Give me spice it up. You know, if I'm in the meditative mood of, ah, everything is wondrous. Even this water is. Let me taste this next drink of water. Gosh, that's a wonder. It's a wonderful thing to be alive. If I'm in that proper state. Well, then sure. Even a bite of apple, of boring apple, you know, or a bite of unadorned broccoli can be fantastic. Usually I'm a little more requiring of the entertainment and the stimulation. I'm not addicted to overstimulation. I hope I'm trying to go in the other direction. But I do like spice and, you know, flavor and some entertainment. Okay. Is that enough? You know, and there's just salad on the side and. Yeah, I've talked about the sides. Yes, yes. And potatoes. Potatoes can be on the side too.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

I like a baked potato with all the trimmings, but you know, bacon, I used to get a baked bacon, you know, bits on the things and cheese is great these days and sour cream. I love. And creme fraiche and all manner of that and yogurt, all manner of that stuff. Stuff. But a baked potato is a fabulous thing. You know, fingerling potatoes, French fries. You know, I tried not. I try to, you know, limit myself to the, you know, yams. I think the healthier thing is sweet potatoes.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

Which can be fantastic. So there's all of that. Of course. I was going to say something else. Oh, yeah. You know, popcorn. Oh, I love, I'm a popcorn freak. But I'd be remiss if I didn't mention sandwiches. You know, we're not going to get to, you know, men's and stuff. It doesn't sound like we have room for sandwiches, but we could have.

[Ed Gamble]

We could have a sandwich on the side, surely.

[Advertiser]

We could talk for hours about our favorite sandwiches. And my phone knows my algorithms and it delivers me, Here are the 10 best sandwiches in LA this last year. Here are the best. And I look at them, even though I can't have most of them. I go, oh, my gosh. I just like to see that sandwich. Fantastic. I used to get a tuna fish sandwich every day. And, you know, sandwiches are so great. Anyway, let's go on.

[Ed Gamble]

Dream.

[Advertiser]

Drink, drink. So we've talked about water. We've talked about my mocktails. I'm not a. A boozer, so I don't get a big kick out of, you know, I know nothing about wines. White wine I don't particularly like. I remember getting drunk on that long time ago. If somebody says, oh, there's a. A red wine that's quite fine with some woody, dry flavors, you know, a little sip of that with a nice meal seems kind of interesting, but I know nothing about it. I don't appreciate it. That's my fault, I suppose. Likewise. Beer. I'm sorry, but a lager, as you say. So I like water. Now, these days, I've talked about mocktails and things kind of fizzy and interesting. But I'll tell you what, I really repeatedly get a spicy. Doesn't surprise you, Spicy Virgin Mary. It's the Bloody Mary without that awful alcohol taste. I. I don't like that. That ruins it. But, boy, you give me. In different places on Earth, cultures do a different kind of thing. I had one the other day. They put, like, salty, like, Margarita stuff around the rim, this kind of red salty thing. Some have celery stalks and olives in it. I like all of that. And some, of course, there's fish in it because Worcestershire sauce has anchovies in it. And it should be Tabascoy and spicy. I like it spicy. And if it's chunky, I think that means there's horseradish in it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's weird.

[James Acaster]

I'm into it.

[Advertiser]

I love it with a lot of ice in it. But pretty soon, just like the heat on some dishes when that ice starts to melt and it gets a little watery. Done. Yeah, done, done, done.

[Ed Gamble]

But again, look where you are. You're in the dream restaurant. That ice is never melting.

[Advertiser]

Okay?

[James Acaster]

It will never melt.

[Advertiser]

I mean, call me a fussy man, I guess I revealed myself to be. No, I completely agree with you, fussy man. And as we started this conversation. We're the lucky ones. Just having nourishment, but given nourishment. There we go. That's the joy of life. I'm after the joy of life.

[James Acaster]

Very different scene with Laura Dern. If you had a Virgin Mary in that car instead of a glass of water.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

And you're dripping that down her wrist, and there's, like, horseradish running down, gruesome gherkins plopping on our hand.

[Ed Gamble]

That's chaos theory.

[James Acaster]

That's chaos theory.

[Advertiser]

That's chaos theory of a certain kind. Hey, have you ever had, you know, eating, of course, is social, and it's very romantical and sensual. Have you ever had. You know, I currently think of no one but my wife, Emily. But have you ever, you know, been in some sort of tete a tete and said, hey, let's feed each other? I'll give you this bit of lobster with. Drenched in butter.

[James Acaster]

Not personally.

[Advertiser]

Might I transfer this little. This little mouthful of wine into your mouth, straight from one from the other. I'm telling too much.

[Ed Gamble]

I've been with my wife for a long time, Jeff, so, you know, any other tete a tetes I had previously, I could not afford lobster, so it would have been yogurt.

[Advertiser]

Really, I can't even remember any tete a tetes besides my wife, but. Oh, but you know, body shots. How about body shots for those drinkers among you? Hey, you know what that is? You know, you squeeze lemon on each other and then salt it up, and then I think, take a shot of tequila and then.

[Ed Gamble]

Shot out the belly button. Yeah, yeah, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Advertiser]

Well, we. We shouldn't talk. Let's stop right there.

[James Acaster]

We arrive at your dream desserts. Jeff.

[Advertiser]

That's my favorite. You're my favorite two fellas on earth. I could talk to you forever. Okay, let's talk about dream desserts. Well, I have a sweet tooth.

[James Acaster]

Truth.

[Advertiser]

I love sweets. I'm also a person of discipline. So sometimes if something arrives, however, if I've ordered it or somebody or Emily, if I confess to her, you know, if she doesn't mind it, I can take one bite of something and leave it at that.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

Or sometimes smell it. I go, ah, that's enough. Or see her eat it and go, ah, I'm getting a, you know, a contact.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

Delight here, you know, But. But everything is so. So good. You know, I like ice cream.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Advertiser]

I like sorbet. I get sorbet because that's delightful, too. But really delightful is sinfully Delightful is ice cream. And now we've been spending, as I say, a lot of time in Florence, Italy, so these gelato places, and we've located one that's particularly good, there are a lot of them. There's no bad gelato, really. I'm not a connoisseur, so I'm always easily pleased, as I say. But there is this place where I say, surprise me. What's Chef's choice? What have you made this week? Because they took us to the factory down the street. Factory. It's a little place where they're artisanally kind of mixing this stuff with only real ingredients, just fresh. And so, you know, they give me a nutty fruity thing called a Mona Lisa or sun, whatever they've concocted, and I'm happy as a clam. I only, I only. Not a tainted clam, but a sweet, briny clam. I, you know, they get. I only get the children's. The smallest cup. I don't want that cone. Although I like a cone. But I get a. I get a small cup. Gee, I used to like that ice cream track. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. And I used to get an ice cream sandwich that was fantastic. Hey, by the way, we're not going to get a chance to talk about cold cereal or oatmeal. But on another occasion, I want to discharge.

[Ed Gamble]

You will have to come back, Jeff.

[Advertiser]

We'll have to discharge all my strong feelings about. But, but, but let's say dessert. Ice cream. I love cake. I love pie. There's a place in that only serves pie.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

Oh, and this is not Sweeney Todd, where they have the dead, you know, people that they've murdered and all. All about. That's a funny. That's a funny song. But. And a savory pie is okay. I'm not so crazy about a chicken pot pie. That's. That seems like comfort food, but too much crust, too much dough.

[Ed Gamble]

Sure.

[Advertiser]

Not interesting sweet pie, but a real pie with real good crust and anything. Peach, cherry, blueberry, apple, rhubarb, gooseberry, you know. Oh, man. Pumpkin custard, coconut custard. Oh, I'm driving myself crazy right now just talking about. I love menu poetry. I love the words that trigger the food idea that we call food. If you say the word pancakes, I'm in a puddle. I'm in a puddle of joy. I love pancakes. Breakfast. On another occasion, we'll talk about all manner breakfast. But there we go. So is that enough dessert? I mean, you know, there's flip there's custard, there's creme caramel. There's everything. I love it all.

[Ed Gamble]

I think what we've nailed down is dessert is going to be a buffet of every dessert that's ever been made.

[Advertiser]

Please give me a buffet. I want a choice. I want a kid. I don't want to limit my choices. Bread pudding, by the way. Rice pudding. Bread pudding.

[James Acaster]

I'm going to read you your menu, but now see what you think about it.

[Advertiser]

By the way, I want to say one thing. British people call all desserts puddings.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Advertiser]

How dare you? What do you mean? What sort of madness is that? Because in America, we have a dessert called pudding. You know, chocolate pudding, vanilla pudding, banana pudding. What are we? Banana pudding. What do you say when you say, what do you want for your pudding? Well, I want pudding. No, no, no. I know, but what do you want?

[James Acaster]

Pudding, you know, Costello routine. Exactly.

[Advertiser]

Okay, go.

[James Acaster]

You want stilt water with ice. You want, like, poppadoms with chutney. You want oysters with lemon and all the accoutrements you want round the world in pasta. You want spiced up, well cooked vegetables and a salad and some sandwiches. You would like spicy Virgin Mary. And you want all the desserts in a buffet.

[Advertiser]

I do. And if I'm hungry an hour later, I'm gonna a bowl of cereal.

[James Acaster]

Jeff, you have been the best guest we've ever had. Thank you very much for coming on the.

[Ed Gamble]

Thank you so much for coming to the Dream.

[Advertiser]

I'm so sorry. I apologize for everything. Oh, my gosh, I'm so excited. Thank you. I can't thank you enough.

[Ed Gamble]

Wowee. James. Jeff Goldblum there.

[James Acaster]

I'm buzzing. Yeah. I feel like every synapse in my brain is pinging off at once.

[Ed Gamble]

Also, just to let you know, listener James and I were in the studio.

[James Acaster]

Just so you know. I know it sounds like we were dropped in afterwards.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

But he tried to edit us in there.

[Ed Gamble]

That was an honor and a privilege to be in the room with Jeff Goldblum mentioning every food under the sun.

[James Acaster]

I mean, who would have thought when we started this podcast.

[Advertiser]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Cause, like, it's crazy, man. This podcast, we have people like Huge Davis on, and then we end up with Jeff Goldblum.

[Ed Gamble]

Huge. Getting it in the neck again.

[James Acaster]

Well, you know, it's just mad at it. Just mad. You get people like Goldblum on that. We're used to people like, I don't know, Huge Davis.

[Ed Gamble]

Go and listen to Jeff's album. Jeff Goldblum and the Mildred SNITZER. Orchestra. The album is called Still Blooming and is out on the 25th of April on Decca Records.

[James Acaster]

Jeff didn't say the secret ingredient, of course, which was ambrosia custard.

[Ed Gamble]

Which is mad that he didn't say that. Cause I think he said every other food.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, he was. He was very close to.

[Ed Gamble]

He could have pick his menu for him again, didn't we?

[James Acaster]

We did have to do it. And when you say again, you're of course referring to Robert De Niro. And we had to do that for him. For the listener. We recorded those episodes pretty much a week apart. It was a crazy week for the off menu boys.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

And two very different episodes in terms of the amount of words said by the guests, but not in terms of their actual. You know, we had to choose the menus. Both times we had to do that.

[Ed Gamble]

That which I don't mind doing.

[James Acaster]

It's quite nice. Some people's dreams, we get to choose sometimes. Yeah, that's nice.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

A bit of variety for us.

[Ed Gamble]

You must understand that some people's dream restaurant isn't going to be. I want all of these things. Some people's dream restaurant will be. I don't. You remove the choice.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. And it seems to be that when you become, you know, a global phenomenon.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

And all the choices are available to you, you want people to just decide for you. Yeah, that's what it sounds like. It sounds like when you get to that stage, you just want to say this, this, and you just bring me the best thing. I don't want to make any choices anymore.

[Ed Gamble]

Luckily, I will never get to that stage of being a global phenom.

[James Acaster]

You think?

[Ed Gamble]

Well, yeah. Especially if one of the prerequisites is you don't pick anymore.

[James Acaster]

You don't want to do that.

[Ed Gamble]

So I love picking.

[James Acaster]

You love picking.

[Ed Gamble]

So the only reason I will never be a Hollywood megastar with Oscars under my belt is because I like cheesing what I want to eat.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah. It would never happen.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah. Obviously I've already won a bafta, so.

[Advertiser]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I've won a BAFTA for winning Taskmaster. Yeah. Congratulations again on that.

[Ed Gamble]

Thank you.

[James Acaster]

It's very good.

[Advertiser]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

I'm never gonna become a global phenomenon. I want to choose.

[Ed Gamble]

You like to choose?

[James Acaster]

I like to choose my stuff.

[Advertiser]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

So, you know, it's fair enough.

[Ed Gamble]

But nice to chat to them. Nice to chat to those guys.

[James Acaster]

Nice to chat to those guys.

[Ed Gamble]

Who's next on the hit list? Now we've had De Niro and Goldblum.

[James Acaster]

Who should be our next one? Oh, man. Adam Sandman.

[Advertiser]

Sandler.

[Ed Gamble]

Sandler's a good shout. I'd love that.

[James Acaster]

I don't know why that's made me laugh. Suggested Adam Sandler, Catherine O'Hara. Oh, man. Come on. Obviously love it. If O'Hara came on Streep, we've had De Niro. We could get Streep. Strip would be great.

[Ed Gamble]

Streep would be great.

[James Acaster]

Well, we're gonna think Streep's a new dream guest. Sorry, the Rock. Someone's gonna have to send us in a Meryl Streep action figure.

[Ed Gamble]

Thank you very much for listening. We will see you again next time with another global treasure probably.

[Advertiser]

But let's go. But tell me six right now of your of the most interesting people you have. Interesting. Either they were horrible or they were great.

[Ed Gamble]

We have not had many horrible people on.

[James Acaster]

I got to say last week.

[Advertiser]

You did not. Yes, you did not.

[Ed Gamble]

It's been a big couple of weeks for us, Jeff. Yeah, we had Robert De Niro last Friday.

[Advertiser]

The joke I always make is, you know, whenever I say somebody else's name, I say, you know, you should never drop names. You know who told me that? Robert Geneiro.

[Jeff Goldblum]

Now at Verizon, we have some big news for your peace of mind for all our customers, existing and new. We're locking in low prices for three years guaranteed on my plan and my home. That's future you peace of mind and everyone can save on a brand new phone. On my plan, when you trade in any phone phone from one of our top brands, that's new phone peace of mind. Because at Verizon, whether you're already a customer or you're just joining us, we got you Visit Verizon today. Price guarantee applies to then current base monthly rate. Additional terms and conditions apply for all offers.

[Advertiser]

Your customers are scrolling past your social ads, using ad blockers and paying for ad free streaming. But when they're listening to a podcast, they're hearing Acast ads which are 4.4 times more engaging than with display ads. So if you want real attention, start advertising on podcasts with Acast. Start [e-mail] ads.