Ep 300: Ed Gamble and James Acaster (with special guest genie AJ Odudu)

Summary

Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster – Episode 300 Summary

Release Date: July 16, 2025

In the landmark 300th episode of Off Menu, hosts Ed Gamble and James Acaster celebrate three centuries of culinary conversations by diving into their meticulously curated dream menus. This special episode features AJ Odudu as the guest genie waiter, guiding the duo through an elaborate gastronomic journey.

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1. Celebrating 300 Episodes

Ed Gamble opens the episode with exciting news: “Off Menu podcast is now on YouTube” (00:04). This announcement sparks a humorous exchange between Ed and James about embracing modern platforms, with Ed championing the move as “really cool” (00:20), while James expresses his playful embarrassment (00:10).

“We thought we'd only do 10, and here we are now, 300,” James remarks (03:57), highlighting the podcast’s unexpected longevity and success.

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2. Introducing AJ Odudu as the Genie Waiter

To mark this milestone, AJ Odudu steps in as the guest host, embodying a northern genie who adds a magical touch to the episode.

Ed welcomes AJ enthusiastically: “Finally, a proper host on this show. Who gives it some energy at the top” (08:00). The trio engages in playful banter about AJ’s role, with AJ describing herself as a “big northern genie” (08:37) and emphasizing the importance of visual elements in her genie persona (08:56).

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3. Crafting the Dream Menus

The heart of the episode revolves around Ed and James creating their ultimate dream menus, each comprising multiple courses. AJ facilitates this process, ensuring a seamless flow as the hosts delve into their favorite dishes and drinks.

Aperitif and Starter

• Ed's Choice: “Emanuela from Taberna La Concha, Madrid” (14:32) – A martini-style drink with three sprays of gin, sweet vermouth, and Campari bitters, garnished with an olive and orange peel.

  “I want to be pissed before my ass hits the seat, basically.” – Ed Gamble (15:17)

• James's Choice: “Oyster Shell Martini from Brat” (17:30) – A unique martini featuring whipped botarga (fish roe), offering a salty yet clean taste. James admits he’s unsure whether it’s gin or vodka.

  “It tastes like my favorite martini is a gin one, but surprise.” – James Acaster (19:07)

Bread Course

• Ed's Selection: “Sausage Roll from Hand and Flowers” (31:55) – A perfectly baked, flaky sausage roll that is neither too heavy nor too greasy.

  “I'm not trying to hack the water. I've done a pint of Guinness before as the water bowl.” – Ed Gamble (15:17)

• James's Selection: “Steak and Chips on a Cocktail Stick from Paul Feig's Personal Chef” (32:40) – A gourmet take on traditional fish and chips, served innovatively on a stick.

  “He knows the vibes and is helping out other tables.” – James Acaster (21:42)

Fish Course

• Ed's Choice: “Oysters Charentes with Spicy Sausages from Rick Stein’s Seafood Restaurant, Padstow” (55:28) – Fresh oysters paired with vibrant, spicy sausages for a decadent starter.

  “Keep the oyster in the mouth, bite the sausage.” – Ed Gamble (59:33)

• James's Choice: “Aged Gilt Head Bream from Al Camilla, Nottingham” (53:00) – Known as the best fish James has ever tasted, featuring crispy skin and juicy flesh.

  “Fish has just never tasted this good.” – James Acaster (53:08)

Main Course

• Ed's Selection: “Dry Aged Slade Down Duck with Confit Duck Leg Meat in a Wholemeal Loaf from Scoff” (48:43) – Perfectly cooked duck paired with a unique loaf to mop up the rich sauce.

  “If you’re the one who called the fish course, pulled some fish out my ass for this.” – Ed Gamble (53:02)

• James's Selection: “Beef Wellington from Ron Gastrobart, Amsterdam” (64:26) – A succulent and perfectly cooked beef Wellington, praised as the finest main course James has had.

  “It's still warm, and it's just so good.” – James Acaster (65:06)

Side Dishes

• Ed's Choices:

  • “Barbecue Miso Butter Crispy Cabbage” (75:26) – Grilled cabbage infused with barbecue miso butter.
  • “Salt and Pepper Chips from Chinese Restaurants” (75:48) – Perfectly seasoned and crunchy chips.

  “The salinity of the oyster cuts through the fat of the sausage.” – Ed Gamble (75:24)

• James's Choices:

  • “Lime Pickle Slaw from Mildred's” (70:36) – A vibrant slaw with lime pickle for a refreshing bite.
  • “Kentucky Fried Mussels from Ox Club, Leeds” (73:08) – Southern-style fried mussels with a spicy kick.

  “They're exactly what they sound like. Perfectly cooked mussels.” – James Acaster (73:21)

Cheese Course

• Ed's Choice: “Stilton in a Jar with Cold Crisp Pear Slices” (89:18) – Creamy Stilton cheese paired with refreshing pear slices to balance the richness.

  “Sometimes I spread the cheese onto a pear slice to mix it up.” – Ed Gamble (90:37)

• James's Choice: “Blue Cheese Ice Cream and Grappa Panna Cotta” (84:24) – An adventurous dessert pairing that combines the sharpness of blue cheese with the booziness of grappa.

  “It tastes like pure grappa. It was ridiculous, and I loved it so much.” – James Acaster (85:06)

Pre-Dessert and Dessert

• Ed's Pre-Dessert: “Frozen Banana Slices with Dark Chocolate from Tropical Maria” (92:10) – Dark chocolate-covered frozen bananas offering a sweet treat.

  “They leave them to ripen for a decent amount of time, so it’s quite intense banana flavor.” – Ed Gamble (92:38)

• James's Pre-Dessert: “Family Mart’s Peach Pineapple and Tangerine Sandwich” (41:55) – A sweet, creamy sandwich that acts as a palate cleanser.

  “I was sitting outside the shop, eating this sandwich, and it was the highlight of my holiday.” – James Acaster (42:10)

• Ed's Dessert: “Christmas Pudding Pan-Fried with Brandy Butter and Vanilla Ice Cream” (94:12) – A rich, warm Christmas pudding served with a decadent spread of brandy butter and ice cream.

  “It turns into a big bowl of thick Christmas soup.” – Ed Gamble (94:30)

• James's Dessert: “Tiramisu Made with Panettone from Cor” (97:19) – A festive twist on classic tiramisu, combining traditional flavors with Italian panettone.

  “It's exactly like the best elements of tiramisu and Christmas pudding together.” – James Acaster (97:31)

Petit Fours

• Ed's Choice: “Madeleines from the French House” (111:18) – Light, buttery cakes with a perfect balance of crispy exterior and soft center.

  “They smell like they're freshly baked and are absolutely delicious.” – Ed Gamble (111:43)

• James's Choice: “Cubed Watermelon with Lemon Syrup and Powdered Menthol Cough Drops” (111:31) – An unconventional dessert featuring sweet watermelon enhanced by a minty kick.

  “It was an incredible way to end the meal, like a McFlurry but festive.” – James Acaster (111:35)

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4. Engaging Banter and Culinary Insights

Throughout the episode, Ed, James, and AJ engage in witty exchanges, sharing personal anecdotes about favorite restaurants and dishes. Their playful banter adds a humorous layer to the culinary discussions, making the podcast both informative and entertaining.

Notable Quotes:

• “This could be the end. This could be the end,” James muses about upcoming live shows (119:21), reflecting on the podcast's future.

• “I think if you like cheese and you like ice cream, you'd be surprised how much you'd like it,” James defends his adventurous dessert choice (85:26).

• “We'll just binge,” Ed suggests when deciding between multiple side dishes (70:22), highlighting their indulgent approach.

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5. Gratitude and Future Plans

As the episode winds down, Ed and James express heartfelt thanks to AJ Odudu for her exceptional hosting skills and to their loyal listeners for supporting them through 300 episodes. They also tease upcoming live shows at the Royal Albert Hall and hint at continuing their tradition of crafting elaborate dream menus.

“Thank you for that, boys. That sounds absolutely delicious,” Benito remarks as the hosts finalize their menus (99:20).

Closing Remarks:

• Ed Gamble: “Thanks, AJ. You made us feel interested.” (112:26)

• James Acaster: “Keep things off menu,” encouraging listeners to continue exploring their culinary dreams (116:56).

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Conclusion

Episode 300 of Off Menu stands as a testament to Ed Gamble and James Acaster's enduring chemistry and shared passion for food. With AJ Odudu adding a magical flair, listeners are treated to an engaging exploration of dream menus, infused with humor, personal stories, and a celebration of epicurean delights. Whether you're a long-time follower or a newcomer, this episode offers a rich and entertaining experience that encapsulates the essence of the best podcast on the planet.

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Note: Advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content segments have been omitted to focus solely on the substantive discussions and interactions.

Transcript

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, hi, James. Have you heard the news?

[James Acaster]

Oh, yeah, go on.

[Ed Gamble]

You and I are modern boys. Because the Off Menu podcast is now on YouTube.

[James Acaster]

This is embarrassing.

[Ed Gamble]

Why is it embarrassing, man? You love YouTube.

[James Acaster]

I love watching clips on YouTube. Sure, now people can watch clips of off menu on YouTube. But it's embarrassing, man.

[Ed Gamble]

It's not embarrassing at all. It's really cool. We're on YouTube with the great and good. The coolest people in the world are on YouTube. Me, you, Logan Paul.

[James Acaster]

Who's Logan Paul? The dad from succession at Off Menu podcast. That's what Benito's calling us now. And we're on TikTok. This is embarrassing, man.

[Ed Gamble]

It's not embarrassing, man. We're cool. We're like Olivia, Rodrigo and Ed.

[James Acaster]

People have been asking us, battering us, bothering us. Actually, they want to watch the Stephen Graham super cut from the Stephen Graham episode so they can see all of his reactions to us. Everything that he did or bonito has bent to their whims. And he's gonna put it on YouTube. He's gonna do it.

[Ed Gamble]

Follow us at off menu official on TikTok at Off Menu podcast on YouTube.

[AJ Odudu]

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[James Acaster]

Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. What's up, everybody?

[Benito]

I'm Indalmen Kinsu, super bowl champ and investor throughout my NFL career.

[Ed Gamble]

When I wasn't sacking your favorite quarterback.

[Benito]

I was networking with some of the sharpest business minds in the world. Now I'm bringing those conversations to you.

[Ed Gamble]

On no Free Lunch, a podcast from.

[Benito]

The Athletic and the New York Times. On the show, I talk to experts and Athletes to find out how the most successful people in sports and business.

[Ed Gamble]

Are growing their wealth and how we.

[Benito]

Can learn from their example. No free lunch drops Tuesdays and Thursdays. Find it on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts.

[James Acaster]

Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com.

[Ed Gamble]

Hey prime members, you can listen to this show ad free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Welcome to the first episode of this Off Menu series. Taking all of the meals, all of the ingredients from 299 episodes of the best podcast on planet Earth, mixing them in a pot and seeing what comes out. It's episode 300 of Off Menu. James.

[James Acaster]

Happy birthday to you, Ed.

[Ed Gamble]

Happy birthday to you, James. Very exciting.

[James Acaster]

300 episodes. I mean, mad, Mad, just mad. Ed and I, when we started this podcast, thought we'd only do 10, and here we are now, 300. Who would have thought it?

[Ed Gamble]

Who would have thunk it? And we're very excited because as regular listeners may well know, James and I do our dream menus. And they have changed over the years. And we have a special guest host in the past. For 100 we had Claudia Winkelman. For 200 we had Rylan. And we have another fantastic broadcaster to host this episode 300 of Off Menu.

[James Acaster]

The guest genie waiter is AJ A Dudu.

[Ed Gamble]

AJ Adudu, of course, has been on the podcast before. We love AJ A Dudu.

[James Acaster]

Absolutely love AJ really excited to have her be the genie waiter.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

This evening. This evening.

[Ed Gamble]

This evening.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Yeah. I've just decided it's the evening for the. That's the setting for actually that our celebration.

[Ed Gamble]

Mine's a lunch.

[James Acaster]

Oh, okay.

[Ed Gamble]

I prefer a lunch. So AJ Is pretty good for a big boozy lunch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

Okay, well, no spoilers. Is it going to be boozy Ed's menu spoilers? Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I like the bulls.

[James Acaster]

Very excited. AJ of course, is going to be hosting Big Brother once again and dress the nation later this year. So be sure to tune into those. And I'm also very excited, Ed, because this is the first episode of the new series, which is always exciting, but for the last few series, I believe the first episode has been someone who has gone on to be in these Beatles movies that they're making.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

The guest. And now we're the guests on the.

[Ed Gamble]

First episode, Benito furiously tapping away on his little archive to work out whether that's true.

[James Acaster]

I think it's true. I think we've had as the first guest of each series, Harris Dickinson, Paul Mescal and Joseph Quinn.

[Ed Gamble]

Is that true?

[James Acaster]

They've all been first episodes of series, those Beatles.

[Ed Gamble]

Now, are you suggesting, James?

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

That that means one of us is going to be in both. Both are going to play.

[James Acaster]

We'll be in.

[Ed Gamble]

I think the Beatles film cast Barry Keoghan, though.

[James Acaster]

They've cast Ringo. But I mean, we'll be in the film.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, right. Okay. So surely it would only make sense if we both played Ringo rotating.

[James Acaster]

Like, one of us played him young and one of us played him old.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Yeah. I suppose we could play maybe Ringo the car park app. I don't know if that makes an appearance in what's the. There's a car park app called Ringo. I'm just trying to find a way. We could play a character called Ringo.

[James Acaster]

I mean, we could. I mean. Yeah. Or maybe we could play when Ringo voices Thomas the Tank. Yeah, we could. We could play just Thomas.

[Ed Gamble]

Thomas the Tank together.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. We could be like Thomas and Henry.

[Ed Gamble]

And people both with our faces squidged up at the front of a train. That'd be horrifying.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, it would be. But this is what happens when you open a series of off menu.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Who is it Person we've had open a series in between them. Who hasn't been in a row. Are they in the Beatles movie? If they are, then it's looking good for us.

[Ed Gamble]

Sophie willing.

[James Acaster]

I'm not ruling out Sophie willing being in the Beatles film.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Who's she gonna play?

[James Acaster]

Yoko.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I'd watch willingness Yoko.

[Ed Gamble]

I'd watch that.

[James Acaster]

But you know what? I'd listen to our 300th episode.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

If I was the listener.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Who tuned into this?

[Ed Gamble]

I'm very excited about this, James. We've done our dream menus. There's been a lot of discussion leading up to it on what hacks we're going to apply and what. And what courses we're going to put in there. I'd expect it to be a feast again.

[James Acaster]

Yes. We've got a feast in our hands, so let's not dilly dally.

[Ed Gamble]

No. And no secret ingredient for us.

[James Acaster]

No secret ingredient for us. Please can't get kicked out of our own restaurant. You're kidding me.

[Ed Gamble]

And also we'd know it.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, we'd know it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. This is episode 300 of off menu guest Genie Waiter.

[James Acaster]

Genie Waiter by AJ Adudu.

[Ed Gamble]

Welcome Ed Gamble and James Acaster to the Dream Restaurant with guest host Ajdudu.

[Benito]

Hello.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Benito]

Thanks for having me.

[Ed Gamble]

Finally welcome a proper host on this show.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Who gives it some Energy at the top.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, that's what it sounds. Well, I give it energy when I come out the lamp.

[Ed Gamble]

Aggressive energy.

[James Acaster]

Aj coming out the lamp there. Were you in the lamp just now?

[Benito]

Yeah. Basically, I'm just a big northern genie.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Poof. I'm here.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Yeah. How many is the northern genie community? A large one or are you one of the only ones?

[Benito]

I think it's quite. Quite prolific, actually. But you have to be in the inner circle to, like, really know. But, you know, I'm letting you into our world, our genie northern world.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. You also did. For people just listening to the podcast, you also did genie hands, as you said. Hello there as well.

[Benito]

Hello. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Properly, like you're really presenting.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

That's coming out of the lamp.

[Benito]

Exactly. It's got to be visual as well. I know that obviously everyone's listening, but you gotta. You gotta pack a punch.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Come with the hands. Give it some relic.

[James Acaster]

Is that what. When you're. When you're hosting Big Brother, for example, are you very aware of your hands?

[Benito]

I am, actually. I hold a microphone when I'm holding. When I'm hosting Big Brother, so. Gotta have good mic control.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Gotta have people hear me, Jeremy.

[James Acaster]

Sure.

[Benito]

Gotta make sure I'm coming in your ears. And then the other hand can't be too distracting. So it's on my hip. It's also grabbing the mic.

[Ed Gamble]

That's nice, all of that. You also. You can't just have a completely dead hand next to you. Right.

[Benito]

It can't be limp.

[Ed Gamble]

Sometimes I watch myself do stand up. I'm holding the microphone in the other hand. It's just like a completely useless appendage.

[Benito]

Just hanging down, swinging around.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Flapping about like it's got no feeling in it.

[Benito]

Exactly. Like an elephant's trunk.

[Ed Gamble]

It's like an elephant's trunk, aj.

[James Acaster]

That's why he sits down for traitors. Yeah. Ye flop that dead arm on the side of the sofa.

[Ed Gamble]

That's why I got an iPad for trace uncloats, because there's nothing on that iPad. But it's just something to hold, isn't it?

[Benito]

Something to hold. Sometimes you need something to hold. I've got mic. Not everyone has a mic. Yeah, that's it.

[James Acaster]

What dress the nation. Do they give you a mic there? Do you get to.

[Benito]

Don't have a microphone there. So then with my hands, I'm very aware not to cross my arms. Don't want to look standoffish. I'm going to look very approachable still. Hand on hip. Or just, like, you know, natural hand gestures, but nothing too much. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, this would be too much.

[Ed Gamble]

I'd love to do hand on hip, but I don't feel like I've got hips.

[James Acaster]

No, I noticed that. I, I. Sometimes you've got hips. I've got hips for days. But, like, when I'm not when I'm on stage, but when I'm around the house, sometimes when I'm sitting down, we're sitting down. I just have a hand on my hip, and my girlfriend will point it out. I wouldn't have even realized I was doing it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

I'll be like, why are you sitting Like a little teapot. Why are you doing that?

[Benito]

The teapots have it right, though. We should all take a leaf out.

[James Acaster]

Of the teapot, but respect to the teapot pun.

[Ed Gamble]

Take a leaf out of the teapot.

[James Acaster]

We worked together two days in a row now, aj Both days you've had peppermint tea.

[Benito]

I have.

[James Acaster]

You love a teapot.

[Benito]

I love a teapot.

[James Acaster]

You do think they got it right?

[Benito]

I love a brew. I don't know what. Basically, I'm trying to reduce me coffee up me water. Peppermint is the way forward.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

And it gives you a minty, fresh breath as well. It's nice mouthwash.

[James Acaster]

It's the best of all worlds.

[Ed Gamble]

Wow. I'm gonna get on the peppermint tea train. If it's like, hot mouthwash. What a lovely description.

[James Acaster]

That only sounds good to someone who is like. Like you said, you're a very healthy person. So to you, hot mouthwash sounds like, oh, that's the best drink.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

It'll clean my mouth at the same time. Your first breath. And that's. That's more important to me than something that tastes nice. But. Yeah. Well, good on you. We're very excited to do our menus.

[Ed Gamble]

AJ Episode 300.

[Benito]

I mean, honestly, Congratulations.

[Ed Gamble]

Thank you very much.

[Benito]

Happy birthday.

[Ed Gamble]

Thank you.

[Benito]

You're 300 years old.

[Ed Gamble]

We've done one a year since we were born.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

If an episode was a year, that's how old you'd be. But that's amazing. How does it feel?

[James Acaster]

It feels. Do you know what? When we sit down to do these hundred, it does feel great.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, it does. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

It does feel really cool. I like the rest of the time. I just think, what a pathetic life. Hosted a podcast. But then, like, when we get to do these episodes, it feels like a nice little.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

What would be the word?

[Benito]

A milestone.

[James Acaster]

It's a huge milestone, something that you.

[Benito]

Should be obviously very proud of. And I'm so delighted to be doing your. Your dream menus with you.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, thank you.

[Benito]

Because the tables have turned. The last time I was on here, it was all about me, me, me, and now it's about you, you, you.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Benito]

So I want to kick things off and ask you what you have in. When you. When you're walking, are you having an alcoholic beverage? Are you having still or sparkling water? What are you doing?

[Ed Gamble]

You know, you know, you know. You know why I love this, aj, is because you didn't just go with still or sparkling. You've offered the option of an alcoholic beverage. So I now. This doesn't feel like a hack. That, yes, I am going to have an alcoholic aperitif.

[James Acaster]

You're doing a hack.

[Ed Gamble]

It's not a hack because AJ's offered me an alcoholic drink.

[Benito]

I just thought, why not?

[James Acaster]

But is this for your water course?

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

Or is this before our water course? I'm thrown off now. Uh.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah. I'll also let you know, normally I'm.

[James Acaster]

The person on phone.

[Ed Gamble]

On the last time we did this, James put in multiple extra courses that he'd not okayed with me first. So I had to come up with stuff on the fly if I wanted the same amount of food as him.

[Benito]

Gotcha.

[Ed Gamble]

Last night he texted me saying, I'm not doing as many hacks this time. I'll read out. I'll read out the text, actually. Cause I just.

[Benito]

He kept saying, this is last night. What time was this text? Accent, please.

[Ed Gamble]

It was all right. Time, actually.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, 8 o'. Clock.

[Ed Gamble]

8 o'?

[James Acaster]

Clock?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, it was five past eight.

[James Acaster]

Oh, wow. Pretty good.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Pretty good memory for mate caster there.

[Ed Gamble]

So he told me previously he's not doing loads of hacks this time. It's going to be pretty much straightforward format.

[Benito]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And then 8:05, I get this text, firstly, hello, Ed, which is always a bad start if James just sends hello, Ed. You know, something annoying's about it.

[James Acaster]

And that's the text on its own, by the way.

[Ed Gamble]

Hello, Ed.

[James Acaster]

And then I follow it up with the yeah, hello, Ed.

[Benito]

Yeah, you press Ed.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Would you like to know the hacks I'm employing tomorrow so you don't have to do it on the fly again? Long story short, fish course, cheese course, pre dessert, putty four. Those are all extra courses. So then the next two hours of my life at home was spent scrabbling through my brain trying to work out what to pick.

[Benito]

This is Trying to work out what fish.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

What's the catch of the day gonna be?

[Ed Gamble]

So I am gonna have an aperitif.

[James Acaster]

Okay.

[Benito]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

And this is addition to the water course, yes?

[Benito]

Yeah. Okay, lovely.

[Ed Gamble]

Would you like to know what my aperitif is?

[Benito]

Yeah, go on.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a drink called Emanuela from tapas bar in Madrid called Taberna La Concha. It's the only place I've ever had this. I don't know, if you look it up online, they seem to be famous for it.

[Benito]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

It's in a little sort of martini style glass. They do three sprays of gin from a little spray bottle.

[Benito]

Oh, right. First of all, it's sounding quite pretentious.

[Ed Gamble]

It's not pretentious at all.

[Benito]

This is like we can't just pour our alcohol, we've got to spray it.

[Ed Gamble]

We're pouring on top. But you just want the flavor of the gin, not necessarily the full whack of gin.

[Benito]

Okay. A perfume.

[James Acaster]

A perfume.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, Three sprays of gin, then vermouth.

[Benito]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Basically, yeah. Pretty much like sweet vermouth all the way up. Then a dash of Campari bitters.

[Benito]

Sounds good.

[Ed Gamble]

Or a few dashes served with an olive and orange peel on a cocktail stick in there.

[Benito]

Punchy.

[Ed Gamble]

Me and my wife had this when we went to Madrid to go and see Metallica.

[Benito]

And that's what you had before Metallica?

[Ed Gamble]

No, no, that was the day before. So what we'll do is we'll go.

[James Acaster]

To Metallica in the gin, I'll tell you that.

[Benito]

See what I mean?

[Ed Gamble]

We go to a European city for a gig or something or wrestling. And the night before we'll get there and have like a fancy day where we go to nice restaurants and do a bit of touristy stuff and the next day will be full dirty gribo grunger day.

[Benito]

That's nice. That's balance, that. Yeah, yeah, that is balance.

[Ed Gamble]

And the Manuela Taberna La Concha was a real highlight. I think I had about three of them.

[Benito]

Oh, nice.

[Ed Gamble]

So delicious.

[Benito]

I bet. Very moreish. Quite strong as well.

[Ed Gamble]

Now the moutier, a bit strong, but I think that's what I want for an aperitifier. Yeah, I want to be pissed before my ass hits the seat, basically.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Before any water. Before the water goes.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm not drinking water until I've had my vermouth.

[Benito]

Yeah. You can't fill yourself up on hydration.

[Ed Gamble]

Exactly. Complete waste of time. You know, like those funny coffee signs were like, don't talk to me until I'VE had my coffee. Don't give me water until I'm wasted.

[Benito]

Until I need it. So you gasp. That does actually sound really nice, to be fair.

[James Acaster]

Have you ever had that? I've not had that. I would like to have that. I'd like to watch someone make that and spray some gin.

[Ed Gamble]

And they make loads of them as well. So, I mean, it's like. It's a proper tapas, boss. It's quite small. Everyone stood up.

[Benito]

Yeah, cute.

[Ed Gamble]

But everyone knows that drink there, so they often have like 20 of those glasses lined up ready to go, and they're just spraying in.

[Benito]

Have you tried to recreate this at home outside of Madrid?

[Ed Gamble]

I've noticed because I enjoyed it and I didn't look up the recipe until last night.

[Benito]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

So I will say.

[Benito]

I was gonna say this is really good knowledge, you know, when what drink is being poured into the glass or sprayed onto it.

[Ed Gamble]

So I will make it at home, but I don't know what vermouth to buy, so it'll probably be a disaster.

[James Acaster]

But I think if I was a bartender at that place, I'd be spraying gin in my mouth every now and again. Surely they've just done it. They've just done that.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

They must have all done it. Everyone who works there must have sprayed gin in their mouth as well.

[Benito]

Yeah, yeah. Again, like a little breath spray.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, kind of.

[Benito]

I'm big on oral hygiene.

[Ed Gamble]

AJ's here to promote Big Brother, Dress the Nation and oral hygiene.

[James Acaster]

If you're having a pair of teeth, I will have as my pair of teeth the oyster shell martini from Brat.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, from Brat.

[James Acaster]

Called Brat.

[Benito]

Okay. I thought for a second, I thought you said pret.

[Ed Gamble]

It's on the secret menu at Pratt.

[Benito]

I was like, what?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, you can go in order a martini at Pratt. You have no idea. It's really good. Real property French martinis. But back to Brat Oyster shell martini. It's. It's one of my favorite drinks anywhere, actually. And I didn't. I'm actually really glad Ed's done the aperitif hack, because I did find a home for it in the menu, actually. I think it's gonna fit quite well with other things I've got planned. I've never been sure if it's either gin or vodka, actually, the oyster shell martini, because it's. So. I've said about it before on the podcast. The amazing thing with it, because I do use, like ground up oyster shells in there somewhere. I don't know what. I don't. I Don't even know how they make it, but it means it tastes dirty and clean at the same time.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

So it's, like, got a bit of, like, a saltiness from, like, the oyster, but it's just got a really clean taste. And I think I like it better than any martini I've ever had anywhere else.

[Benito]

Wow.

[James Acaster]

I do like it so much that I've just realized I don't know the booze in it, which is like that. That is a real sign that I love it. Because normally if I'm ordering a martini, I'm like, has to be vodka.

[Ed Gamble]

I think it is.

[James Acaster]

I think it's vodka, and I do think it is.

[Ed Gamble]

You can't find it.

[James Acaster]

But now I'm doubting myself because I've just had so many and never asked because they taste so delicious.

[Benito]

Oh. I mean, that's it. And also, when you go in, it's. You don't need to know. It's the experience, isn't it? That's the point.

[James Acaster]

Well, usually I do need to know because that's part of the experience. I love it. But with this, I didn't even realize until just now that I don't know if it's vodka or gin. It is vodka. Nodding and said, I'm glad to discover it's vodka because normally I order it and I make sure it's vodka whenever I order other martinis. And I was going to be quite distressed then if I just discovered.

[Ed Gamble]

I mean, it tastes like my favorite.

[James Acaster]

Martini is a gin one, but Surprise. But I'm glad. I'm glad that it's. It's.

[Ed Gamble]

We went to Brat recently. They've got. They've got two. Two restaurants. We. We went to one recently, and we booked quite late, and James was like, it's all right. I go in there quite a lot. I'll sort it out. And they. How's this? Sounds like something from Goodfellas. They sort of just put a new table in for us.

[Benito]

Wow.

[James Acaster]

Felt amazing. Thank you so much to the people at Brett, if you're listening.

[Benito]

Yeah. How many martinis have you had?

[James Acaster]

This? I've had a lot.

[Benito]

They're like, right, come on, let's get the table out of the basement.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. There's a few things that I regularly order there that they almost. There's one thing called roast chicken rice, which is a incredible dish.

[Ed Gamble]

I thought that was going to come up later on your menu.

[James Acaster]

No, it's not on this menu. Real nice opportunity to shout it out, because it is one of my favorite dishes anywhere. Amazing. Like the. The roast chicken, the different bits of chicken. Like there's a chicken sausage, a chicken drumstick in there. Loads of different ways that chicken's been cooked in. The rice itself.

[Benito]

Love it.

[James Acaster]

And then you just stir it all together. But you put some salad in as well. So there's that. The salad comes along that's like, got a vinaigrette on it, and you put it into the rice and you mix them all together. And normally they come along with the spiel and tell you. This is. Yeah, this is all the different parts of the chicken we've got here. And here's the salad. And what you're meant to do is put it in here. And now when they bring it over to me, they just laugh and then walk away. He knows how to do it all.

[Benito]

He knows how to do it.

[James Acaster]

He knows that. He knows the vibes got him helping out other tables around him with the roast chicken rice. He's so used to it.

[Ed Gamble]

In fact, when we went, there was someone there who. James was like, he's new. I've not seen him before. And he came over and he didn't do the full spiel, and he left. And James was like, he should have said to mix the salad into the rice.

[James Acaster]

It did get to me.

[Ed Gamble]

It did get to me.

[Benito]

He's not gonna last long.

[Ed Gamble]

But I don't want the salad mixed in because I don't want cold salad mixed into a hot thing.

[Benito]

Right. Because I was gonna say it's. It's quite controversial that I think, you know, hot and cold, you know, you're.

[Ed Gamble]

Wilting it, then it wilts.

[Benito]

Yeah. It makes the salad a little bit soggy, but it works for you.

[James Acaster]

Does it work, the vinaigrette in there with. With everything. And. And the salad adds that bit of. The only thing I'd say is that sometimes you get a big salad leaf that's in there with everything else, and that can take you by surprise.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

When you're trying to put.

[Ed Gamble]

This isn't even on either of our menus.

[James Acaster]

No.

[Ed Gamble]

But it's good to shout out, but.

[Benito]

It'S good to share.

[James Acaster]

It's a hall of famer for me.

[Benito]

Yeah. Now I want to go. I've never been to brat. That does sound quite dry, though. Is the rice not dry?

[James Acaster]

No, it's really moist. And because it's got all the juices and it's like. And also it comes in a skillet, so it's kind of still cooking a little bit, so it's all crispy. Get some Crispy bits in there. And then that's at the brat that I go to quite regularly. There's the other brat. They do roast duck rice.

[Benito]

Oh my gosh.

[James Acaster]

Now same dish but with duck. And that's amazing as well. So like, wow.

[Benito]

Wow.

[James Acaster]

Maybe do them on the same day. Do a little.

[Benito]

Just do a little brat crawl.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Okay. Well, they're nice drinks.

[James Acaster]

Great start.

[Benito]

Both martini boys.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Well, when Ed was saying that, I know what would go perfect with I will have a martini and I can. Cheers. Ed from across the. Yeah, across the aisle.

[Ed Gamble]

I love a martini.

[Benito]

I love a martini. I love a lychee martini. Oh, my gosh.

[James Acaster]

Treat yourself.

[Benito]

Treat yourself to him, please.

[James Acaster]

It's the 300th episode. Genie.

[Benito]

Thank you.

[Ed Gamble]

Poof.

[Benito]

Here it is.

[James Acaster]

Have a lychee martini.

[Benito]

Yeah. Cheers. What water are we washing all of this down with?

[Ed Gamble]

I mean, I'm not going to try and hack the water. I've done a pint of Guinness before as the water bowl. Feel like I've got my aperitif now. I think I'd just like some lovely water.

[Benito]

A classic still.

[Ed Gamble]

Just a classic still. Like we've got here. Just a jug of still. It can be tap. I like to have it constantly, constantly at the table, you know, talking about hydrating. I'm trying to keep my hydration up.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And may I say you look splendid for a test.

[Benito]

Exactly.

[James Acaster]

Bless you.

[Ed Gamble]

Bless you both. Yeah, I like to hydrate. Hey, sue me.

[Benito]

It's good to hydrate.

[Ed Gamble]

I used to be a cool kid who was like, water sucks, man. But now I love water. Water does a good thing. It's here for a reason.

[James Acaster]

That's a really. What a journey.

[Benito]

Really. It really is. I mean, obviously the last time I was on, I was biggin at Blackburn water because it is absolutely delicious. I was just up north at the weekend actually, and I was guzzling it down.

[Ed Gamble]

So maybe, maybe I'll have that then.

[Benito]

Appreciate the shout out to just a classic tap water. It's very underrated, especially in certain parts of the country. London tap water. Questionable. Yeah, not gonna lie.

[Ed Gamble]

Sure.

[Benito]

So, but you'd still do London tap water. Would it be filtered?

[Ed Gamble]

Cause I like London tap water. But I feel like maybe then I get some Blackburn tap water.

[Benito]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Because then I'll taste the difference, right?

[Benito]

You really, really will. You really will.

[James Acaster]

You will, Ed.

[Ed Gamble]

Thanks.

[James Acaster]

Water from up north is better.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah. And no ice. Just tap water.

[Benito]

Just as it comes.

[Ed Gamble]

Room temp.

[Benito]

Why is that sensitive teeth?

[Ed Gamble]

No, not really. I just feel like ice gets in the way. And also it's just the same thing, isn't it? But different.

[James Acaster]

Sure.

[Benito]

You want one form of water at a time in a glass.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't be, don't be pretending that they're different things.

[Benito]

Yeah. Let's not dilly dally.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. I'll say that. If anyone ever brings me ice water again, I'm going to go, let's not dilly dally.

[James Acaster]

That's not dilly dally with two types of water in one glass. Please.

[Benito]

Come on, Come on. Are you trying to get. What about you, James?

[James Acaster]

I just like it actually. I'm very excited about this because I've actually got a watercourse for the first time. The last two I've hacked them and said like Colston Press. And then I had a kombucha for the last one I actually had a water that I'm really excited about. I had it at Scoff in Manchester.

[Benito]

Nice.

[James Acaster]

Again, this is just an opportunity to shout out a whole restaurant. I mean, probably favorite restaurant in the country at the minute. So it's just like such an incredible place. Everything on that menu is brilliant. Tom Barnes is the chef there. But the water that they. Well, I had the non alcoholic pairing last time I was there and one of them had this hop infused sparkling water as one of the ingredients in the little non alcoholic cocktail. And I really got the flavor of that and I was like, this is. Whatever that flavor is, is really great. And they said that's what it is. And then they gave me some cans to take home of just the water. So they're from Track Brewing.

[Benito]

Right, so describe this flavour. So it's a hop infused sparkling water. Is it beer?

[Ed Gamble]

Is it a beery sort of taste?

[James Acaster]

Yeah. So it's like. Well it is, yeah. Just like the hops that they make beer with. But it's like infused in. But it's not like an alcoholic flavor. Really.

[Benito]

Does it taste like weak beer?

[James Acaster]

No. Joe. What my description of it is going to make it sound bad.

[Benito]

Right. Okay. Glad that you know that hop smell.

[James Acaster]

If you smell. Yeah, you can smell hops. I'm saying this because I grew up in Northamptonshire and in Northampton there's a Carlsberg factory and everyone knows what hop smells. Okay.

[Benito]

Yes. Okay. Flat banana threats brewery.

[Ed Gamble]

Right.

[Benito]

As well.

[Ed Gamble]

And Edinburgh's very like if you get off the train in Edinburgh you are hit by the brewery smell pretty quickly.

[James Acaster]

So I guess it's a bit of a almost stale water smell. I guess what I would like is that in my drink because it does have this kind of like. I think that's why I like it so much is because I can't even fully put my finger on it and describe it because I haven't had it anywhere else.

[Ed Gamble]

Is it nostalgic for you as well?

[James Acaster]

Maybe. It does remind me of walking past the Carlsberg factory in Northampton and going around trying to do gigs with my band. But like, yeah, that kind of like, it's almost. I don't want to say the word mildewy because again, doesn't sound good.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

But yeah, and it's sparkling as well. I would never think I'd go for sparkling water. I generally prefer tap water or still water, but it just really worked. This, this company, Trapped Brewing. Never heard of them before. Really excited to get more of this. I mean, I'm basically. Next time we go to Scoff, I'm going to have some more of the cans of that.

[Ed Gamble]

When you saw them from Trap Brewing.

[James Acaster]

As I'm saying it now, I'm realizing I do that.

[Ed Gamble]

Won't you be a grown up and buy. Buy your own stuff from the place that you know it is.

[Benito]

They'll send it. Yeah, sure.

[James Acaster]

Like, I've gone up my way to say the. The who they are the subtle.

[Ed Gamble]

Always AJ is send us some stuff.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Always.

[Benito]

Yeah. I mean, I can't. I. I personally can't wait to try Scoff in Manchester the next time. I know.

[James Acaster]

You should go there, mate. It's like so many things that on that menu are so good that the tiramisu. The also there's this like cashel blue cheese course that they did the first time I went. And it's like a sweet cheese called like a bridge over into the desserts, which is my. I really like it when people do that in restaurants. Do the like savory to sweet course.

[Benito]

Love that.

[James Acaster]

And I loved it. Said to the head chef, this is my favorite thing. I love it so much. Next time I went there, it wasn't on the menu.

[Benito]

Ah.

[James Acaster]

And he was like, yeah, we took it off. But then he made me a little special one.

[Benito]

Oh, my gosh. Rolling with views to restaurants must be like rolling with the big dogs.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Tables are coming out.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Being adjusted live.

[James Acaster]

Doesn't sound great.

[Benito]

Nip to the shots.

[Ed Gamble]

We do feel like Mafioso.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Oh, good.

[James Acaster]

As I was saying it, I was like, oh, no, we've already said someone put a table out. This is. This is bad.

[Benito]

Yeah. Yes. Reviewing staff like, yeah, Knuckles Acaster's coming.

[James Acaster]

Get the table. Did you get the blue cheese. Oh, yeah, he's gonna go.

[Benito]

You heard what he did to the last chef.

[James Acaster]

You can tell us not to swear.

[Benito]

Please do not swear.

[Ed Gamble]

Beautiful.

[Benito]

Although it is your podcast, so you can do what you want.

[Ed Gamble]

Thank you.

[James Acaster]

Thank you, aj. But I've got water courses. This is the first water courses.

[Benito]

That's good.

[Ed Gamble]

I just have water, to be fair.

[James Acaster]

I've got water, I've got sparkling water. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

But I choose. I just went that. What's in front of me.

[Benito]

What's that?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, I got Blackburn water.

[Benito]

You upgraded it?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Benito]

To be fair.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Broadening your horizons.

[Benito]

Yeah. And you've made yours fizzy with hops in it, which, you're right, it doesn't sound nice, but I'm up for trying.

[James Acaster]

That from track brewing.

[Benito]

Right, come on. What you have in for the next bit. Are you having popper doms? Are you having braids? Are you having crisps? Do we count crisps as a bread or a popper dom?

[James Acaster]

I think people have in the past hacked this course and had crisps. Some people have even had crisps as their starter. I'm thinking about Rosie Jones, who had a lot of different types of Christmas as starter. But, yeah, I think you can, especially with dips, for this part of the course.

[Benito]

Genuinely. I mean, I know that this is your dream menu, but I've been in Ibiza recently and I went to Casamacca, this amazing restaurant. Gorgeous ambiance, like beautiful meats and one of the stars. Me mate ordered crisps and I was like, come on, we're on a holiday. Let's. Let's be classy about this. Do you know what I mean? But they were great. These, like, homemade crisps and they were, like, lightly salted and they were just so good with, like, a baba ganoush.

[James Acaster]

Well, they're quite. Oh, baba ghanoush is so good. I'm spoon that in my mouth on its own. Baba ganoush is so good.

[Benito]

She thinks so good.

[James Acaster]

Was it thick homemade crisps?

[Benito]

They were a combination of the two. They were, like, not chunky.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

But not thin. They were the perfect.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Consistency.

[Ed Gamble]

And also freshly done.

[Benito]

Freshly. So they were warm as well? They were warm.

[Ed Gamble]

They do something similar at. We went there, James, after we'd interviewed Jeff Goldblum.

[James Acaster]

What a life. What a fucking agora. Yeah. Do they do it or did we demand it? They did it for us.

[Ed Gamble]

They do, like, fresh potato chips with. And they do incredible dips. A baba ganos and stuff. So huge. Shout out to agora as well. They've not made my dream menu, but you came very close. Maybe next year.

[James Acaster]

I mean, we're doing as many shout outs as we can at this point.

[Benito]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Just before poppadoms or bread, I do have a quick chef's welcome.

[Benito]

A chef's pluming welcome.

[James Acaster]

I did a chef's welcome last time. He's got me.

[Ed Gamble]

He's got. Yeah, a chef's welcome. But this is a genuine chef's welcome that exists in that position on the menu at the hand and flowers. Everyone gets a little sausage roll. You sit down and they bring you this perfectly sized, like, homemade. Obviously, it's a restaurant sausage roll. It's absolutely incredible.

[Benito]

Okay. Nice. Nice pastry. Nice pastry.

[Ed Gamble]

Beautiful. Like, crispy, golden. It flakes. But also it's got that fatty taste to it as well.

[Benito]

I love that.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a little bit of gross.

[Benito]

Not too heavy on the sausage roll, though.

[Ed Gamble]

Not too. In times. Yeah. I mean, it's like.

[Benito]

It's quite. Because the sausage roll.

[James Acaster]

Love them. Yeah.

[Benito]

But they can be quite girthy. And to have that as a welcome.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, it's not too girthy.

[Benito]

We don't want it to ruin the appetite.

[James Acaster]

You want a girthy welcome?

[Ed Gamble]

It's not a girthy welcome.

[James Acaster]

Too girthy.

[Benito]

No, no, Just the perfect.

[James Acaster]

He's your friend.

[Benito]

Sorry. I've got a.

[Ed Gamble]

Which is relative. Which is relative to what you'd enjoy. But, yeah, it's. Yeah, it's a beautiful thing and it's exciting to sit down and not know you're gonna get a sausage roll and then you get a sausage roll.

[Benito]

But do you get a sausage roll every time or do they change that on the menu?

[Ed Gamble]

I've only been once. When you went, did you get a sausage roll?

[James Acaster]

I actually don't think we did. I went once and it was earlier this year. It was just a couple of months ago.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay.

[Benito]

Did you get a welcome?

[James Acaster]

I. It was my partner's birthday.

[Ed Gamble]

So you weren't concentrating on what was happening.

[James Acaster]

So when we sat down, I think we were given. Lives are going to sound so bad now. Are we giving champagne?

[Benito]

It all comes out because I texted.

[Ed Gamble]

The chef in advance to let them know.

[James Acaster]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This can't go out. We can't put this out. We sound awful.

[Benito]

This is changed.

[James Acaster]

You'll be able to track it.

[Benito]

How.

[James Acaster]

How our lives have changed.

[Ed Gamble]

Hang on. During this podcast, your partner is not eating pork, right?

[James Acaster]

Yes. She's not.

[Ed Gamble]

Did you tell them that in advance?

[James Acaster]

Yes. So maybe that was. Yeah, that Was it.

[Benito]

That's why.

[James Acaster]

That was it.

[Benito]

That's. Why did you have.

[James Acaster]

They were very nice again. Gave us a couple of glasses of champagne. Happy birthday.

[Benito]

That was the chef's welcome. It wasn't.

[James Acaster]

It was a. Yeah, yeah. It was a little, little drink. Which they might do for everyone whose it's their birthday, to be fair. If you tell them. Oh, yeah, I don't know that. Oh, God. But if Ed's doing a chef's welcome, I'm gonna do a chef's welcome.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And I went to a friend's pub. Well, actually, Paul Feig, who came on this podcast, invited me to a get together he was having and we arrived and he's got his own chef.

[Ed Gamble]

I was.

[Benito]

Oh, my God.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. So some, some of us are not doing as well as Paul Feig.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah. So Paul Feig's doing better than us.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. And I just want you to know I was invited to that too, but I couldn't go.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Yes, he was invited. Yeah. And Ben might have even been. No, he wasn't invited. But when you arrived at that party, you were instantly given a little chef's welcome from Paul Fig's personal chef. And it was called steak and chips. But it was, I would say it was a cocktail stick. And on it was these tiny little like fried potato, like mini chips.

[Benito]

Very small, almost like a potatoes. Bravas.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, like so, but little like the chip. They look like chips, like crispy chips, like little matchsticks in their own right. And then a bit of, like a very thin bit of steak that was like a ribbon that was like in a. In an almost M shape. On the cocktail stick, the way it was folded on there. And it was like the perfect mini mouthful of steak and chips. There's a salty, really juicy meat. The crispy, salty chips. It was. I was really into it. I was actually quite disappointed. It was just. You get it once on the way in. How can I keep on doing laps at this place?

[Benito]

Yeah, exactly.

[James Acaster]

Because I was also.

[Ed Gamble]

It was on a boat, wasn't it?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, I didn't want to mention that bit because, like, my lives already sounded too bougie yesterday.

[Benito]

He was on a bloody yacht, weren't you?

[James Acaster]

There wasn't a yacht, it was a boat.

[Ed Gamble]

In the restaurant recommendations on the website, make sure you. You write down, you've got to go and get the steak and chips from Paul Fig's personal chef on a boat.

[James Acaster]

Oh, no. Oh, no. I wasn't even going to do this.

[Benito]

And then head chosen chef and then.

[James Acaster]

I just Was thinking, what's the nicest mouthful I've ever had when I've arrived to somewhere and it was on the private boat bike. Oh, no. Oh, no.

[Benito]

Oh my gosh. That sounds better in boys. So dreamy.

[James Acaster]

If it was delicious though, it was absolutely one of the best mouthfuls of food I've ever had.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Especially upon arrival.

[Benito]

Sounds like it's a royalty that, Let me tell you.

[Ed Gamble]

The problem is this podcast has really changed James. And I'm fine because I've never been relatable. So no one expects anything less from me.

[Benito]

He's come up to your level.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Finally. Welcome.

[James Acaster]

Here I am.

[Ed Gamble]

The weather's great up here.

[James Acaster]

Feels uncomfortable.

[Ed Gamble]

Sorry. So we've done the chef's welcome.

[James Acaster]

I do like that I've got that chef's welcome on my menu because that was so.

[Benito]

I mean, it sounds amazing, but should we get you back onto dry land? Yes. Talk about papadons and bread.

[James Acaster]

Thank you. Still got my sea legs.

[Ed Gamble]

James, do you want to go first?

[James Acaster]

Well, I'm going bread and I always respect it when someone goes bread basket when they come on the pod and always think, why don't I do that? Why do I always just so like. I've got a little bread basket. So I'd like to. The charred flatbread with whipped botarga, which I think is a butter thing. I don't know. It tastes like butter from soon in Hackney. So it's a. It's a new restaurant. S U N E. Nice. I think it's run by someone who used to work at Noma in Copenhagen. Is now got this place. It's really great. The whole restaurant's great. But this charred flatbread. So I can't tell you how much I love stuff that's charred these days. I love it. Burn it. Just burn it.

[Benito]

Flame grill it.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. And it doesn't sound. It's something that doesn't sound on the menu. You see charred flat benefit. How good is that going to be? And again, I'm going to describe it and make it sound bad, but it's like you've been making those American style pancakes at home and you've accidentally taken your eye off the pan.

[Benito]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

And you. Burnt.

[Benito]

Slightly burnt.

[James Acaster]

They smell like that when you smell them. They smell like burnt pancakes. Burnt pancakes. Like some sweetness to them.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And I've always liked that smell, but never liked the taste of burnt pancakes. And these smell as good as they taste. They taste as good as they smell.

[Benito]

Right. But they smell burnt.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

By the way, Botaga is Fish roe, you know.

[James Acaster]

Oh, it's fish roe.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. I mean, it's quite close to caviar.

[Benito]

Oh, my God.

[James Acaster]

Oh, my God.

[Benito]

It's like a gorgeous buttery caviar.

[James Acaster]

I'm even eating caviar. Not even aware of it. That's how bougie I am these days.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I think it's butter.

[James Acaster]

I think it must be butter. I. I just slather it on there like it's butter. Must be. Like, sometimes it falls on the floor, get it all over my lap. I don't care.

[Ed Gamble]

I let my cats eat it.

[James Acaster]

Just a bit of butter. Jesus Christ. Okay. Whipped caviar that I have on my charred flatbread. And it is absolutely delicious how bad it is. It's so good.

[Ed Gamble]

Where was that from?

[James Acaster]

Sorry, Soon. In Hackney.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

So that's first thing in the bread basket. Next thing in the bread basket. I've shouted out on the podcast before the Daigle, the daggle from the dohert and Lee, first fist bump, first fist bum.

[Ed Gamble]

Because that's my bread course.

[James Acaster]

Yes, we got the same bread course.

[Benito]

Oh, my.

[James Acaster]

Okay, so we can both tell you about this.

[Benito]

Yeah. Let's go, boys. I'm so good about it.

[James Acaster]

What do you think? The De Gul could be a day goal.

[Benito]

Is it like a bagel mixed with. Combined with something day? So like egg.

[James Acaster]

Donuts.

[Benito]

Donuts.

[James Acaster]

It's a donut bagel. So basically, you've got the dough of a donut.

[Benito]

Oh, nice.

[James Acaster]

Filled with sour cream and chives. Like a.

[Ed Gamble]

Like a bagel and cream cheese? Sort of. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Sorry, Cream cheese and chives.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And then on the top is everything. Bagel seasoning and sugar and salt.

[Ed Gamble]

They roll it in sugar and salt.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

So you get that.

[Benito]

Whoa. It's sweet and savoury.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Aj, it's incredible.

[James Acaster]

Is it?

[Benito]

It sounds. It sounds interesting. Not gonna lie. Like, usually sweet and savory, I reserve for, like, popcorn or, you know, cheese with a bit of pear and honey.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

But this is what we're doing. This is how we're tipping up.

[Ed Gamble]

I think you would like this.

[Benito]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Because I'm sort of the same about sweet and savory. I don't like it when people have pancakes and maple syrup and bacon. I don't like any of that sort of stuff. But this is. It's a mind fuck as well, because it's like bagel donut, sweet, savory. And the first time I had it, the first bite I took, I had full body goosebumps.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, me too.

[Benito]

Oh, my God.

[James Acaster]

I Remember where I was? I was in my hotel room because I was living in.

[Ed Gamble]

I was in my hotel room.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

It was brought to you by a servant.

[James Acaster]

We have the Dough Hut. Set up a new branch within the hotel room so I could get Daigles on tap. Now, quite conveniently, the Doha in Leeds is opposite the hotel I was staying in. So I was able to get one straight to my hotel room. I remember biting it and, like having to stop everything. I was just having a freeze and take in what was happening to me because I was like, I've never tasted anything like this before. And I couldn't get enough of it. I wolfed it down. I was there for like four days. I probably had about three of them while I was there.

[Ed Gamble]

And then he started talking about them on this podcast. So I was like, that does sound good. Next time I was in Leeds on tour, I went there maybe noon and I went, do you have any dago? They went, no, sold out. Because James keeps talking about them. So I had to go back at 10am the next day when they opened to get a Daigle. Yeah.

[Benito]

And it was worth the 24 hour wait, was it?

[Ed Gamble]

My God. Yeah. Well, I had a chocolate one the day before. Just because when you're in there. Right.

[James Acaster]

Which are excellent also.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. So much custard in there. But yeah, the Daigle is also my bread course.

[Benito]

That is amazing. That sounds so hearty, rich and confusing. Yes. I feel like we shouldn't like it.

[Ed Gamble]

They do whip the cream cheese a little bit so it's like light and fluffy in there. It's not just like thick cream cheese. It's like. It's a beautiful mouthfeel.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Nice.

[James Acaster]

It is.

[Benito]

Gosh, what a bread basket.

[James Acaster]

Oh, there's one more thing in the bread basket.

[Benito]

Okay. Wow.

[Ed Gamble]

I just remembered how long these episodes go on.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Benito]

No, no, no.

[James Acaster]

Come on.

[Benito]

We love to talk about tea.

[James Acaster]

By the way, I did have four things in the breadbasket. And this morning I thought, no, come on. I'll put it down to three.

[Benito]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

And lastly, I would like from Family Mart in Japan, which is just a.

[Benito]

Just a hop skip and a jumper.

[James Acaster]

Bear, a chain of soup of, like, little convenience stores. I would like the peach pineapple and tangerine sandwich. So those you get loads of Ed Shaggy's head. But it's sugary. I like it so much.

[Benito]

And soggy.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. So I would eat these breads in the order I've said them in. I would have the charred flatbread.

[Benito]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

And then I would have The Daigle crossover. And then I would have this sweet. Which basically a cake. Really? It's what, it's white bread.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And then you basically get like a tinned. A little tin peach in there.

[Benito]

Love.

[James Acaster]

Some little tin pineapple at a little tangerine segment. And it's cream like you would. But it's not actually the cream itself isn't that sweet, I would say. But it's still a bit sweet. That there's all in there. And that's. That's the little sandwich you get from the, from the shop. And they do loads of savory sandwiches and I worked my way through them when I was there.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

But when I had this one again, I remember I was. I was literally sitting outside of a shop when my girlfriend tried to find some trainers. We just really wanted these trainers. And I was like sat just on the floor pretty much and eating this sandwich and was like. Is the highlight of my holiday.

[Benito]

Wow.

[Ed Gamble]

If I'm honest, I would put Family Mart at the bottom of the convenience stores in Japan. Apart from. And they're very, very famous for this. They're fried chicken.

[James Acaster]

They're fried chicken.

[Benito]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Fami chick.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Family chick.

[Ed Gamble]

Family. I would say family chick.

[Benito]

Family chick. Family chick.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. That is. That is top.

[Benito]

Yeah, Top tier. Yeah, top tier. Energy.

[James Acaster]

Extremely good.

[Benito]

That bread course, honestly sounds like a lot. A lot of ingredients.

[James Acaster]

Yes, a lot. A lot of ingredients going on with that bread course. I'm taking the same amount of time most people would take for a meal.

[Benito]

Right. Because that was a three course bread course.

[Ed Gamble]

A lot of cream in it as well.

[James Acaster]

There's a lot of cream there. I'm going to the toilet before I start eating anything else.

[Benito]

Anything else.

[James Acaster]

But like I'm enjoying that bread course. Like it's a little meal.

[Benito]

I do appreciate a bread basket though. I do. I do. I also appreciate a popper Dom basket. Have you had like the popper Dom basket at like Jim Carna in Mayfair?

[James Acaster]

Yes. With all the different types of mold on it.

[Ed Gamble]

It's good.

[Benito]

Yes. Cause even like a popadon, like breadstick.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

So good.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. There's so many different types that we're not like, you know, we're not always privy to in the UK when you get that and it's like a whole bunch of different ones. Really, you can really take your time with one of those.

[Benito]

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Well, thank you for them.

[James Acaster]

I'm full. I'm full. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I mean, I'm glad I held back and only had a full donut for my breakfast.

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That is a gamble. Money Expunge your podcast okay, what is endeavor?

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[James Acaster]

Listen to this Acast show.

[Ed Gamble]

Ad free on Amazon Music with your prime membership or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.

[Benito]

I'm absolutely stuffed but there's still room for a starter. Yeah, so what we having?

[Ed Gamble]

I am going to have from the restaurant Mountain which is the same.

[Benito]

I love Mountain.

[Ed Gamble]

Well the chef at Mountain is the same guy who runs Brat. So if you like Mountain, you're gonna love Brat.

[Benito]

I'm love Brat. Okay this is good to know.

[Ed Gamble]

Thomas Parry I am having the spider crab omelette from Mountain.

[James Acaster]

Wow.

[Benito]

It's delicious.

[Ed Gamble]

Which. Excellent. Good. I'm glad you've had it.

[Benito]

So good.

[Ed Gamble]

It is incredible, isn't it?

[Benito]

How do they get that consistency? It's so perfect every single time.

[Ed Gamble]

It's amazing.

[Benito]

You just cut it open and it's just perfect.

[Ed Gamble]

And they say you've got to cut it open quite soon because it's going to keep cooking in there. And you cut it open and it just. I mean it feels like you're almost doing some sort of disgusting surgery. But it just peels back and you've got that sort of perfect consistency. Not too liquidy, not too solid. And then very generous helping of spider crab meat in there as well.

[Benito]

Yeah. They're not stingy with it. Do you know what I mean?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah. The spider crab.

[Benito]

Have you had that with that bread? With their bread that they do. And I can't remember what it's called but it's like this big dome of bread and then you just pop your knife in and then the bread flattens and then. Oh that. With that omelette together. 10, 10 experience.

[Ed Gamble]

And there's so many great dishes on that menu anyway.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

But every time I go there, straight to the spider crab omelette.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Is it quite juicy?

[Ed Gamble]

It's pretty.

[James Acaster]

A juicy omelette.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's rich as well. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Any sauces coming?

[Ed Gamble]

No, you don't need it. It's self saucing.

[Benito]

It is.

[James Acaster]

Does sound really good. Is it big?

[Ed Gamble]

It's a decent size but you're sharing everything anyway. And they order a lot. It's almost got, you know when you see like I can't remember the name of it in Japan where they did the omelette on top of the rice. Omu rice. And then they cut the. They cut the top of the omelette and it just sort of folds and sort of spills over the top.

[Benito]

That opens.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, it's slightly less liquidy version of that, I'd say. So you don't need any sauce in it really.

[Benito]

I wonder how they make it sort of like hollow in the middle as well. I don't know, it just. Honestly, it blows my mind. I'm like, it doesn't make sense. It's like a folded omelette but then you open it and you're like, oh, that was hollow inside.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm busy.

[James Acaster]

And what is that? Just a little spider crab waving at you?

[Benito]

Yeah. Surprise.

[Ed Gamble]

Welcome to Mountain.

[James Acaster]

Please don't it. Oh no.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, that was. That was the easiest choice.

[Benito]

That's a good start.

[James Acaster]

I want to eat that now. I can't, I can't. Too late to put it into my menu.

[Benito]

Well, you can try it some other time.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Benito]

What do you Want for your starter.

[James Acaster]

Well, it's not ideal, given the narrative so far.

[Benito]

Okay, okay, here we go.

[Ed Gamble]

How many stars has this place got?

[Benito]

Come on, King James. What are we saying, you, Majesty?

[James Acaster]

And I wasn't. Don't already with this one. When I put it there. I actually wasn't happy about it because I didn't want to put a dish from Neymar, which is, like, seen as.

[Ed Gamble]

Being three Michelin star, regularly voted the top restaurant in the world.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah. I went there earlier this year.

[Ed Gamble]

How many times you been there?

[James Acaster]

Three times. Wow. One free star.

[Benito]

You can always get a table. You can always get a table. Do you know what I mean? These restaurants, hard to get in, but.

[Ed Gamble]

Somehow they'd leave one empty for him at all times.

[Benito]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

This is the one that's attached to the side of my house. So, yeah, when I went. When I. When I ate this, I was, oh.

[Ed Gamble]

No, that's gonna go on the menu.

[James Acaster]

This is one of the best things I've ever had. Yeah, I gotta put on the menu. I've got to have nightmare on my menu. It's king crab.

[Ed Gamble]

Crab. It's almost worth a fist bump, I think. Yeah.

[Benito]

Crabs.

[James Acaster]

Crabs. It was like these crab legs, really thick. They may as well have been sausages. These crab legs, they were so big. Big and meaty.

[Ed Gamble]

Try selling that to a crab.

[James Acaster]

The girth.

[Benito]

The girth. I've missed it.

[James Acaster]

If you want to talk about the girth or these. These crab legs served with frozen quince that you then clean them to the poshest thing you could possibly say.

[Benito]

Quince.

[James Acaster]

I'm not happy about it.

[Benito]

Can you. Can you explain quince to me, please?

[James Acaster]

I'm actually not sure what it is.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a fruit.

[James Acaster]

It's like a.

[Ed Gamble]

They'll often serve like a quince base, things with. With cheese. Like a quince jelly. Quite often you'd have with cheese. But it's sort of. This has looked like a little sour and sweet. It's got that.

[James Acaster]

Like the end of a lemon. It looked the way they cut it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

And then you squeezed it over citrus fruit. Yeah.

[Benito]

Right.

[James Acaster]

So then I squeezed it over the crab legs.

[Benito]

Lovely.

[James Acaster]

It was like it had been frozen, taken out, left for a bit, and then you squeeze it over.

[Benito]

But it didn't taste like lemon. They couldn't just use that.

[James Acaster]

Citrusy, I think.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And sweet.

[Benito]

Okay, gotcha.

[James Acaster]

And then to brush over, it was a savory fudge. So it was this, like, it came with a brush. It almost looked like a Shaving brush.

[Benito]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Lovely. Your descriptions are so appetizing.

[James Acaster]

You got all the savory fudge on it and then you spread it on top of this big juicy crab's leg that already had the frozen quince on it. It was just so melt in the mouth. Crazy delicious. I felt very emotional while eating it. It was so nice. But like I say, I was like, oh, no, Now I'm gonna have to put.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Number one restaurant in the world on my menu. I'm not going to appear very relatable here.

[Benito]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

It's too late for that match.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, but, yeah, I mean, to.

[Benito]

Be honest, it sort of loses at the whipped caviar, which.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, I mean, that was. Blindsided me, if I'm honest.

[Benito]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the little stack and chip situation.

[James Acaster]

Actually looking down this menu, I'm not redeeming myself anytime soon. Well. But I'll look at what I've got coming up.

[Ed Gamble]

My menu's less posh than James's.

[James Acaster]

This is it.

[Ed Gamble]

This is where we jump the show.

[Benito]

What a day. What a day.

[James Acaster]

But, you know, gotta admit, nicest start I've had.

[Benito]

Yeah, exactly. I mean, listen, it's your 300th, you know, go all out, splash out. Right, Exactly. What are we having for May pack? Oh, boom.

[James Acaster]

Fish course.

[Benito]

Oh, before. Wait a minute, we've had starter.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Benito]

And before we have the main, we're going fish course.

[James Acaster]

I'd like a fish course.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Because you're the one who called the fish course.

[James Acaster]

You texted me last night about it.

[Ed Gamble]

Pulled some fish out my ass for this.

[James Acaster]

Not surprising anyone. We're not going to be moving away from the Michelin guide.

[Benito]

Okay. Okay. But you know what, Start as you mean to go on.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. So it's a restaurant in Nottingham called Al Camilla.

[Benito]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

A L C H E M I, double L A, I think that's how it's pronounced. And they did an aged gilt head bream. It was just very, you know, simple. Just like fillet of fish. Now I'm gonna annoy myself here because it basically, it was the best fish I've ever tasted, like, ever in my life. And I. My memory of it is that it had like a bit of a crispy skin and just really juicy fish. But the flavor was amazing. I'm not going to be able to do a great job of explaining it aside from. I was like, well, fish has just never tasted this good.

[Benito]

Okay, but why? Why? Yeah, why was this so good? Was it the texture? Was it the crispy Skin. I mean, definitely the way it fell off the bar.

[Ed Gamble]

Was it the aged thing?

[James Acaster]

Maybe it was because it was aged, but, like, it was definitely. It was just the right amount of juicy. So, like, it wasn't. Wasn't too dry, wasn't too wet.

[Benito]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

It was just those really nice, meaty, juicy fish. I love a crispy fish skin.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And it was done to perfection. And there was a. Also, it was. It was a tasting menu and it was a good amount of it as well. It was like the main course pretty much.

[Benito]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

And also, I think. And the people of Nottingham who came to see me that week probably know this, but it was one of the worst weeks of the tour. And it was like, I've done four nights in Nottingham and it wasn't going great. They weren't. They weren't really enjoying the show as much as I'd like, but then that's probably on me. So I was like, oh, man. Not performing the show very well this week. And. And then just found this place last minute on the final day for me and my tour manager go and have a meal. And, yeah, it meant that the last show was probably even worse because I was full. I was full of food. Yeah. But. But especially on the last tour, I really wanted to find as many places to eat around the UK as I could that I could. Like, if anyone texted me saying, where should I go and eat in this place? I could say, this place is great. Like, if they're in Nottingham, I'd have somewhere to signpost them to. And I'd recommend everyone go to El Camilla. It was so delicious. All these little bites at the beginning were insane. That they just bought out that weren't even like the main dishes. So, like, yeah, the whole meal was great. But that fish is like. It was one of those ones where I just said out loud, like a boring person, this is the best fish I've ever had to my friend. And he had to listen to that. But it was.

[Benito]

Did he also enjoy it?

[James Acaster]

He enjoyed it a lot.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, he really liked it. Although he was tour manager as well as my friend, so he was also thinking, we've got to get to the venue.

[Ed Gamble]

He's clock watching.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. We've got to do this, this and this. And how many more courses are coming out now? So I don't know.

[Ed Gamble]

I just faced rolling around.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

What was it?

[James Acaster]

That martini. But, like. Yeah. So I can't speak on his behalf. Think he enjoyed it. Yeah. Yeah.

[Benito]

Sounds exquisite.

[James Acaster]

It was exquisite. And I'm just going to have to lead into that. Now I'm looking at what's coming and I'm.

[Benito]

Yeah, you're bougie now.

[James Acaster]

At no point am I going to look any less bougie.

[Ed Gamble]

So, yeah, well, I'm down to earth. So for my fish course, I'd like oysters charantes, please.

[Benito]

Wow.

[James Acaster]

Wow.

[Benito]

Down to me. Wow. I thought you were going to take us to Chipping. He's going to have a battered cod, just to balance.

[Ed Gamble]

I didn't think about that when I was panicked sorting my fish course last night. I was like, what about fishing chips? Because obviously it's, you know, one of the best ways to have fish is battered, but really is. I decided on oysters Charentes, which I believe is popular in the Bordeaux region of France. I had it in. Never had it before, never heard of it. Then I had it in Rick Stein's restaurant in. Seafood restaurant in Padstow in Cornwall.

[Benito]

Oh, my word. Which one was this? Because I just went to.

[Ed Gamble]

To Padstow.

[Benito]

To Padstow. But I went to the Chipper.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, nice. Well, he basically runs that town. It's like he's like the Godfather.

[Benito]

It's, like, so good.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Benito]

I mean, that battered guy just laughed.

[James Acaster]

Because you imagine in his head the Codfather. I guarantee that's why he laughed. It is, isn't it?

[Benito]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

He laughed to himself when Ed said, rich Stein is like the Godfather. Yeah.

[Benito]

He went.

[James Acaster]

Ben just did a little laugh to himself. I knew he'd imagined the codfather. And that is what he did.

[Ed Gamble]

Very popular name for some fish and chip restaurants, to be fair.

[Benito]

Yeah. But that. That chippy in Padstock. Oh, my gosh. The Rick Stein Fish and Chip on the Sea. Beautiful.

[Ed Gamble]

He knows what he's doing, that guy.

[James Acaster]

Ah.

[Benito]

Everything battered. I had this massive platter there, actually, and they had all of the catch of the days, like little fish bites. But honestly, the batter.

[James Acaster]

Wow.

[Benito]

Next level. It's so good.

[Ed Gamble]

The guy knows fish.

[Benito]

Is amazing. The guy knows fish. You know, I went on to Cooking with the Stars with Jack Stein, Rick Stein's son.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Benito]

And he's amazing.

[Ed Gamble]

So I met him that night, actually, that I had the oyster charon taste.

[Benito]

How nice is it? What a nice man.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, lovely. Lovely man. Yeah.

[Benito]

He taught me how to make this amazing fish buried.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Benito]

And it's really good.

[Ed Gamble]

I thought you were gonna say burrito.

[Benito]

It's almost like. Almost like a French soup.

[James Acaster]

Oh.

[Benito]

So there was like loads of. Loads of different fish in there. You'd love it. It's Right up your street.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Benito]

Really fancy.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, love.

[Benito]

Imagine all of your favorite fishes in basically a caviar bowl.

[James Acaster]

Savory fudge, man.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Music to my ears that when they said that, when I heard the phrase savory fudge, I was like, hey, Caster, things have worked out well. This is what you always dreamt of as a kid.

[Benito]

This is the dream. Anyway, sorry, hijacked your course.

[Ed Gamble]

No worries. So I'd never heard of this before, but it just played into just my dreams. Like savory fudge oysters. Very simple. Just shucked, ready to go. Raw plain oysters on the side, three spicy sausages. So like chorizo or merguez style sausages. So those bright red, super spicy sausages.

[Benito]

Beautiful.

[Ed Gamble]

And you just have them together. And what I was doing was oyster in the mouth. Keep the oyster in the mouth, bite the sausage. So they're in there together and just enjoy that. And you get the fatty, spicy sausage. And then the salinity of the oyster cutting through that fat. It is such a delicious combination and the ideal starter. Cause it still feels light, but it's decadent as well.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, I like that.

[Benito]

Very decadent.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Benito]

Oh, my gosh, that sounds so delicious.

[Ed Gamble]

And I went with my gang of mates who have a little club.

[James Acaster]

Absolutely reprobates, these guys. Oh, yeah, yeah. Wait to hear about these reprobates.

[Ed Gamble]

We're not reprobates. We're very polite. It's me, my friend Freddie Bulmer, who works for the wine society. Pierre Novelli, the comedian. Phil Wang, the comedian. And Ollie Smith, the television wine expert.

[Benito]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

And we go on little trips around the place. We go to restaurants and we call ahead and we say, do you mind us bringing our own wine?

[Benito]

What?

[Ed Gamble]

And we turn up. We turn up with, I'd say, between five of us, ten bottles of wine.

[Benito]

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. You mean to tell me that you guys can just tip up to a restaurant, pull out tables? You know, I've met meals that aren't on the menu served up. Addition to that, make everything a byob.

[Ed Gamble]

To be fair, we pay corkage at most places.

[James Acaster]

Oh, we pay cork. Oh, sorry.

[Ed Gamble]

You've got to pay. You can do that in any restaurant. You can take your own stuff. You just have to pay corkage.

[Benito]

Wow. And I'll be honest, paying cork, you.

[Ed Gamble]

Guys, most of the time, the restaurant's right off the corkage.

[James Acaster]

There you go. You have some corkage written off. Anyway. Gratitude, you know, every time he's out with those reprobates. At some point in the evening, I'll get a selfie from him. Just him and all of them just looking. Absolutely. Just sitting in a really nice restaurant. Just all of them. None of their eyes are completely open. Just completely thinking that they're looking cool.

[Benito]

Exactly. Don't know whether they paid corkage or not. Who cares?

[Ed Gamble]

I just throw the card at someone when I get in there.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. That's four pages.

[Ed Gamble]

Remind me of. Remind me. You've got that at the end.

[James Acaster]

I trust you'll wave the corkage.

[Benito]

My brain. Gosh, that sounds amazing.

[Ed Gamble]

We're very polite diners.

[Benito]

And oysters are very hit and miss, aren't they? For some people. Some people don't love it. I personally love oysters.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Benito]

So I can't wait to try that.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. I think. And it's something you could do at home.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, sure.

[Benito]

But we've rolled into our main course.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Benito]

So what we having?

[Ed Gamble]

Well, we've had mention of this restaurant already today. Oh, yeah, it's our friends. Scott off.

[James Acaster]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Lovely Manchester restaurant. Michelin star.

[James Acaster]

Only recently.

[Ed Gamble]

It's. It's so desperate. It's only recently. It wasn't even that when we went there.

[James Acaster]

When I went there, I did have a Mission star. It was just. It's just a really nice place.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Just a nice place that the guy, the head chef of Long Clum started. Three Michelin stars. It is the duck main course from Scarlet. I'm gonna. It's the dry, dry aged Slades down duck. It's this beautiful bit of duck. Just the most perfectly cooked duck you can imagine. Like pink. It's got that deep, dry, aged flavour to it as well. The sauce is what is perfect. This shiny, beautiful, like decadent sauce which has got tapioca balls in it, which gives it a little bit of texture and little flicks of fig leaf as well, which sort of lifts the whole thing. Just an amazing sauce. You know when you have a sauce at a restaurant and you're like, I don't know, know how you've made this.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Or how long you've spent making this, but you feel like it's gone through so many reductions, they've added so much stuff. It's been reduced again. They've put it through one of those big conical sieve things.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

They've spent days making.

[Benito]

They've strained it, they've reduced it, they've stirred it, they've boiled it, they've done it all.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

It's been horrible for them.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. And that's what I like to taste.

[Benito]

The pain and effort and the effort.

[Ed Gamble]

But here's the killer with this. It comes with another bit of bread.

[Benito]

Oh, my God.

[Ed Gamble]

This tiny little wholemeal perfect loaf. And you tear open the loaf and inside is the leg of the duck that's been confeed down.

[James Acaster]

What?

[Ed Gamble]

So you've got confit duck leg meat inside the bread, and then you're mopping up the sauce and there's bits of duck falling out of the bread into the sauce. You're scooping it all up and it's the perfect size because it's part of a tasting menu. It's not like you're gonna be dead after you eat that.

[Benito]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

It's delicious. And if you are me or James, they'll bring you a bit more duck as well.

[Benito]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bring you out pate duck anywhere you want. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

If anyone is going to scoff, you just have to work in a disguise. So you look like either me or that. So depending on who you look more like, you wanna start from there, Just lean in, try and go in a disguise. And then key points go, excuse me, where's my extra portion?

[Ed Gamble]

But yeah, I just thought that was an. Rarely on tasting menus do I enjoy the main meat selection.

[James Acaster]

Sure. But this is where we are in our lives now, guys.

[Ed Gamble]

Don't you agree with me?

[James Acaster]

Text in if you agree.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, but I just think it's phenomenal. And what a restaurant. And I'm glad I got to give.

[James Acaster]

That a shout out.

[Benito]

Yeah, that sounds so good. Yes.

[James Acaster]

I'm also excited to shout out this place where I'm having my main. It's Gregg's.

[Benito]

Yeah, it's Gregg's.

[James Acaster]

It's.

[Benito]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

I'm gonna have the beef Wellington from Ron Gastrobart.

[Ed Gamble]

Hang on, is this third year in a row, huh?

[James Acaster]

Yes. Third time I haven't found a better main course. You're taking a court over it. The beef Wellington at Rongastrabar remains in Amsterdam. In Amsterdam remains the finest main course I've ever had. I had it again after the second, so I've had it twice now. I had it again after the second tasting menu. You. My girlfriend took me there for my birthday. I was nervous about it.

[Benito]

Why?

[James Acaster]

Because I was like, I've really run my mouth off about this, you know?

[Benito]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

How good it is.

[Ed Gamble]

Also, you worry that the memory of it is better than the actual thing.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And I knew that people had been there because of the podcast as well. To try it. And I was like, well, if they've been there and they've had it and been like, this is rubbish.

[Benito]

Yeah, the pressure's on.

[James Acaster]

If anything was even better than my. My memory, actually, I've had it three times. For the first time, I went twice in one week. I'll tell you what, I recommended this dish to De Niro. Did he have it on his menu in the end? It was one of the many things, actually, Joe. What? I should have just said, I'll have whatever's good.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Why don't we do that for this menu, Ed? We should have just said, we'll have.

[Ed Gamble]

Whatever'S good because that is no way to treat the format.

[Benito]

Oh, nice.

[James Acaster]

Yes. I did pitch this to De Niro, but he changed it for wagyu beef in the Wellington. But he still was going to have it from Mongastropolis.

[Benito]

Okay. I've had the beef Wellington in Estelle Manor. Have you been there?

[Ed Gamble]

No.

[Benito]

Oh, my gosh. Delicious. It's in Oxfordshire. And beautiful. Beautiful ambiance, beautiful vibes. But sometimes, you know, when you go to these. But you'll know when you go to these posh places, sometimes they focus a lot on the dining experience, and then sometimes the food's lacking.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Whereas this, you get a 360 experience. It's like you're in a gorgeous manor house. You've got beautiful service, like, everything's decadent, old, lovely. And then the beef Wellington. Raved about, talked about that. Paired with a gorgeous little Pinot Noir. Stunning. And the beef Wellington, honestly, the meat was thick, but, like, so, like, succulent and pink and just, just. Oh, just so good. And the pastry on the outside, next level, like, so good, you know, golden, but stays together. Hate it when it crumbles off the edges. Yeah, don't like that at all. A beautiful gravy to go with it.

[James Acaster]

What about that?

[Benito]

The layer of rim in between? Just full of flavor. Yeah, just so, so good. But not never too much. So was yours comparable to that?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, because actually, you just described one gastropan.

[Benito]

I need to go. That's where I need to go. Amsterdam.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm gigging in Amsterdam towards the end of the year, so first thing I'm doing is booking Rongastraba.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, I can't wait. Although one thing I did do, I had to warn our good friend Bob De Niro about. About the Rongash bar, because I was like, look, I had it. It's amazing every time I've had it. But I sent a friend there and they put loads of black truffle on it, which wasn't there when I was there. And then they put like a smear of like, like sauce on it. It didn't look very appetizing. He said it still tasted delicious, but they seem to have changed it. Then when Ben went, he sent me a photo of it and it was back to how I had it. So then I had to text my friend to be like, I think they were punking you.

[Ed Gamble]

They weren't punking him. He's really famous.

[James Acaster]

He is quite a famous.

[Ed Gamble]

They were like, I guess let's absolutely give this guy the truffles. Oh yeah, they're not breaking out the truffles for you. This guy's living a better life than we are in restaurants.

[James Acaster]

It's hard to even imagine that.

[Benito]

Yeah, but I mean that dizzy and heights that you guys are. I just can't even imagine anyone.

[James Acaster]

But someone is.

[Benito]

Someone's getting truffle.

[James Acaster]

Getting truffle without even asking because they're on Stranger things.

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[Benito]

Side dish. Can we squeeze anything in?

[Ed Gamble]

Oh yeah. I'm dead by this point.

[James Acaster]

Sure dead. But yeah. So I've got two side dishes we've let people do that.

[Ed Gamble]

Feels like you should pick one. What do you reckon, aj? It does.

[Benito]

It does feel naughty, but I think we're feasting, aren't we? Let's just binge.

[James Acaster]

When you hear what they are, I'll.

[Ed Gamble]

Have to as well.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. When you hear what they are, it's like more, you know, so. Because one is just the lime pickle slaw from Mildred's. Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Of course.

[James Acaster]

So that's like a fine.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

That's quite a light side to some slaw.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And the lime pickles, I mean, it's exactly what it sounds like. They've stirred lime pickle into some coleslaw. It's next level. It's outstanding. I can't stop thinking about it. Lovely. Okay. And I'm very disturbed at the minute because it has temporarily, I hope, disappeared from the takeaway menu on the app. And I'm like, where the is it? Because, like that. And the artichoke and Caesar salad has gone as well, which is my other favorite thing from the menu. And I'm panicking at this stage.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

It's all different.

[Benito]

They do this to us. Do you know what I mean? Like, they get us hooked. Cooked on delicious.

[Ed Gamble]

Do it a lot.

[Benito]

And then they go, oh, yeah, we've changed the menu completely.

[Ed Gamble]

They used to have a thing.

[Benito]

You need to bring it back.

[Ed Gamble]

They used to have a thing with artichokes and, like, charred bread and this whipped creamy garlic sauce. And I used to have that all the time. And they got rid of it.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. This is what I'm going through. Like, I've only just discovered this lime pickle slaw thing. I've only had it three times.

[Ed Gamble]

This is the most accessible thing on your menu for listeners. And it's about a small train in London.

[James Acaster]

Yes. Yeah.

[Benito]

I mean, so you just have to catch the train or fly in.

[James Acaster]

Heavy man. James Acaster. Lime pickle slaw for Mildred's. And then I guess the headliner for my side dishes, the Kentucky fried mussels from Ox Club in Leeds. Oh, nice Again. Yeah. But like, Ox Club, one of my favorite restaurants in the country. I think it's incredible. Again, just keep sending people there because it's so good. And I mean, that was definitely one where. The gig I did in Leeds that night was so bad because I. I went in just. Oscar, I'm going to get. Get one little thing. And then they. We really do recommend you have the Kentucky fried mussels. They're really good as a starter. Had them. They're exactly what they sound like. Perfectly cooked mussels with this amazing Like Kentucky seasoning on them, Southern fried seasoning on them, eating them with a toothpick. Ed always does this gesture when he's copying, when he's making fun of me for how I always talk about food. But.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, you always might. He always might throw. He'll have a bag of something, he's walking down the street, just throw them in his mouth. Like. Yeah, like a cartoon character.

[James Acaster]

That's definitely what I was doing with the Kentucky Five muscles. I was throwing them all in. Exclaiming after every single Kentucky Fried muscle, how good it was. Every time I've recommended to a friend and they've gone, I was like, if. If they're on the menu, you got to get them. But the menu changes quite often.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

They haven't been on there. So I'm hoping shouting them out means that they'll get back on the menu. Because sometimes I like to bully a restaurant.

[Benito]

Okay. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And to put my favorite things permanently on the menu.

[Benito]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Because they can't just, you know, reserve these dishes for you when you walk in.

[James Acaster]

I don't mind that.

[Benito]

They need.

[James Acaster]

Just trying to bully restaurants. That's not. Yeah. I'm just trying to bully them in to put it on the menu. Perfect.

[Benito]

Bring it back, bring it back.

[James Acaster]

And then. Yeah, that whole. That whole meal was amazing. Had this amazing duck breast and then they did. Had a baked Alaska and then I was absolutely full. And no one in Leeds laughed that night.

[Ed Gamble]

They do a different. They do a different baked Alaska, don't they? They change the baked Laska.

[James Acaster]

Laska's different every time you go.

[Ed Gamble]

It is a great restaurant. I've had the muscles. I can back James on this. They are fantastic.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, really good.

[Benito]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

I do. I do have a couple of choices for side here, so I will just say both of them. This is something I tried to make recently. So I want it when I've made it. But I've got it exactly right. I didn't get quite. Get the balance right of the flavour. So I want to do this again. Is a barbecue miso butter, hispie cabbage. So hispie cabbage, really simple, split in half and then miso and butter mixed together, put it on the cut side, get it onto the barbecue down, like really, really grill it until you've proper charred it. Then set up the other side of the barbecue for indirect heat. So basically you're just sticking it on that side, shutting the lid for like 15 minutes, 20 minutes and then constantly basting with the butter you've got left over and it's soft and delicious. And sort of meat, almost meaty, but it was just too salty when I did it. I think I used salted butter, which I think was a mistake. Gotta go. Unsalted butter. Not as much miso and then a bit of some sesame seeds over the top right at the end. But I love, love burnt vegetables.

[Benito]

You two like burnt things?

[James Acaster]

Love burnt things. And may I say Ed is doing some superb food description. Yeah, I'm all over the place. I'm saying stuff is mildewy and I'm trying to make it sound pancake. Yeah. This is mouth watering stuff.

[Benito]

It was mouth watering stuff.

[Ed Gamble]

You can taste the barbecue, you can taste the smoke. Especially if you get it shut the lid and get all the smoke rolling around it while you're cooking it. Absolutely fantastic. But I want to nail it. And then my other side dish is salt and pepper chips.

[Benito]

Right. Delicious. Where do you have them from?

[Ed Gamble]

Everywhere I get them from. They're good. I've never had bad salt and pepper chips, but from Chinese restaurants.

[Benito]

Really? Basically, yeah. It's amazing.

[Ed Gamble]

And I like anything salt and pepper. I love the salt and pepper chicken wings. I love all of that. But salt and pepper chips, for me, that's the best.

[Benito]

How do they do it so good?

[Ed Gamble]

It's that seasoning. I mean, I guess it's like MSG and sugar and salt and garlic and chili. And sometimes there's like the. The spring onions in there that have been fried a little bit, but they're at the bottom so they're almost steaming in there as well. And you'll get like onion and spring onion and chili just collecting at the bottom. And I'm having that on a big.

[Benito]

Spoon, just having it. Yeah, it's so, ah, mouthwatering stuff.

[Ed Gamble]

Salt and pepper chips and a glass of Riesling. That could be my whole meal.

[James Acaster]

Well, bad luck. You got about a billion things.

[Benito]

Yeah, exactly. I'm glad that you mentioned that drink because we are coming onto our drinks course.

[James Acaster]

You're right.

[Benito]

So what are we washing all of this loveliness down with?

[Ed Gamble]

I'm not having a Riesling. Oh, I had a Riesling last time. I'm having a. Actually. All right, but don't get ideas in your head about what kind of this is. This is not. And I've been known to partake in an Echo Falls. Not an Echo Falls. I don't.

[James Acaster]

You're not that relatable.

[Ed Gamble]

The news agent is even.

[James Acaster]

You couldn't even take that as a joke.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't want people thinking it was.

[James Acaster]

Furious as soon as you said it. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I buy dusty bottles of Echo Falls from the news agent. I do not do that whispering angel. I've been known to. I've been known, yes. I've been known for the angel to lean into my ear on occasion.

[James Acaster]

A whispering angel at a Patti Smith concert. Thank you.

[Ed Gamble]

It is.

[James Acaster]

Got three tickets because I knew the driver.

[Ed Gamble]

It is the Lopez de Heredia Vinha Tondonia Rosado Grand Reserva. That's what it is.

[James Acaster]

But he has fewers. He's got to look up at that spell.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a Rioja rose. A Lopez de Heredia Vigna Tondonia Rosado Grand Reserva. They make fantastic rioca white and red. But the rose which I believe they've stopped making. So the latest you can get vintage wise I think is like 2012. So now coming hard. It's. It's hard to come by. It's the color. You wouldn't know it was. You wouldn't know it was a rose. It's not pale. It's got a real deep deep pink color.

[Benito]

Otherwise known as red.

[Ed Gamble]

No, not that deep. Not that deep. Benito, get me a picture of the glass of it.

[James Acaster]

You've got to finish spelling it. It's gonna take him an hour. That's orange.

[Ed Gamble]

There you go.

[James Acaster]

So orangey whiskey. This is a bottle of whiskey. Actually.

[Benito]

It does, it's.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. It's got a full flavour. It's not quite a lot of the time with. If it gets hot I'm like I really crave a. Because I just want to get that super cold. And then you're almost necking. It's just like water. You can barely taste it.

[Benito]

Exactly.

[Ed Gamble]

But this has got a flavour. You take time over this. It's hay, it's strawberries. It still tastes summery but it's still warming. It's just got body and it's exciting.

[James Acaster]

Wow.

[Benito]

That does sound as they were saying it.

[James Acaster]

I'm just trying to think about how I'm going to describe my drink and all I can think of is nice.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. And I would urge our listeners to go and get some.

[Benito]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

About 120 quid a bottle.

[James Acaster]

Apart from Eddie's gonna get sent for free now.

[Benito]

Yeah, he's gonna get it sent.

[James Acaster]

A crate of them end up on your doorstep.

[Ed Gamble]

No, I've had it very, very rarely because it is hard to come by. It is expensive. But this is the dream. This is the dream menu.

[Benito]

This is the dream menu. Can you get it by the glass or it's a bottle Situation that works.

[Ed Gamble]

It's mainly a bottle situation.

[Benito]

Once we're getting into the. The three digits for a bottle, it's. It's. It's. It's a bottle or nothing, really, isn't it?

[Ed Gamble]

Unless you're going somewhere that's using the coravan system where they can extract a glass without taking the cork out.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. That's nuts.

[Benito]

Well, that sounds nice.

[Ed Gamble]

It's delicious. I. I can't wait to have it again one time in the future.

[Benito]

Okay. Gotta be crisp and cold.

[Ed Gamble]

Coldish. I mean, we're getting into the area now, aj of where I start speaking. I realize how boring I'm being, but also I do need to finish the thing. Thoughts?

[Benito]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I mean, personally, if it's white wine or rose, you really should be getting it out of the fridge 20 minutes before you drink it because you're miss. If you're having it ice cold, you're missing out on all of the flavours. If it's a nice bottle of wine, it's out the fridge 20 minutes before.

[Benito]

Right.

[Ed Gamble]

Champagne. Fine. Colder. With red. Some reds benefit from 20 minutes in the fridge before you drink them. Because, of course, we all say wine was meant to be drunk at room temperature, but what we're not taking into account is. Is room temperature has changed over the years.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

So, yes, when wine was being stored in a stone cellar and people were drinking it in castles, room temperature was perfect. But now we have central heating, aj. So room temperature? No, thank you. I'll have fridge temperature. There you go. Sort. Finished. Sorry, everyone.

[Benito]

Thank you. Thank you.

[James Acaster]

That was annoyingly helpful.

[Benito]

Yeah, it was actually very helpful. Now I've envisioned myself, I'm having a nice glass of Pinot Noir in, like, a castle. Yeah, yeah, A castle temperature.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're drinking loads of Pinot.

[Ed Gamble]

I'll put a word in for you, aj.

[Benito]

Cheers, love.

[James Acaster]

For my drink, we're going to a restaurant called behind in Hackney. I think behind opened during the pandemic.

[Benito]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

Didn't stop it from getting a Michelin star pretty quickly.

[Benito]

Wow.

[James Acaster]

It's a seafood restaurant.

[Benito]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

And at one point. And so I'm going non alcoholic for this as well. It's so delicious. A cardamom and coriander Lassi.

[Benito]

Right. I don't know what this means.

[James Acaster]

So Lassie, like, yo. Like. I mean, a lot of people say, like, lassi, like mango Lassie.

[Benito]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

Yes, I do know what that's like a. Yeah, we were just doing the.

[Ed Gamble]

Thing where you're saying something for your whole life, then you're told it's something different. And now he's acting like he's always got it right.

[Benito]

Yeah. Bye.

[James Acaster]

Well, no, I'm just told got.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. A lot of people say Lassie, but I say Lassie.

[James Acaster]

Kristen Guru Murphy corrected us on the podcast.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And so especially when I'm on the format, I'm on the thing that I got corrected on.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, sure. But we still say poppadoms, don't we?

[James Acaster]

It was a super refreshing. It's really light as well. I. And I just wanted more and more of it, so I think that's why it's on. It's on my menu.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

It's because, like, I had a. Four decent glugs of it and it was gone.

[Ed Gamble]

One.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And then, like, I just wanted to keep drinking it. I've wanted. I've wanted to keep drinking it ever since.

[Benito]

Is it like a nice thick contest consistency, though? Like, almost like yogurt, but it's not too.

[James Acaster]

No, it's not.

[Benito]

It's not.

[James Acaster]

Let's not like. No, it's not like you got, like, a thing of yogurt there. No, I like a. More of a lighter milkshake. Not like a smoothie. A juice, maybe?

[Ed Gamble]

Well, no, in between a juice and a smoothie.

[James Acaster]

In between, like, smoothie consistency. If it was yogurt.

[Benito]

Yogurt.

[James Acaster]

But it's not yogurt.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh. Oh, no.

[James Acaster]

I mean, it is yogurt.

[Ed Gamble]

Another one making my. My mouth water.

[James Acaster]

Jesus. I'm not doing this. I apologize to all the restaurants that I've shouted out because I made it all sound disgusting. It's the most delicious things I've ever had.

[Benito]

It's a probiotic in your fridge.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a big yakult, you know, Wasn't it?

[James Acaster]

Actually, that's more like it. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, but it was. It was really refreshing. It's a very. A very good palate cleanser as well. And. And it went with all that seafood. I've got quite a lot of seafood on my menu, even though I went.

[Ed Gamble]

For the, you know, you added a fish course.

[James Acaster]

Because I added a fish course. And I had the crab, I had the mussels. Unknowingly, I had whipped caviar.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

So, like, you know, that adds to it.

[Benito]

Yeah. It's quite a nautical theme as well.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Benito]

Given the fact that, like, you've had some of this on an actual bar.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Jesus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that all helps. So, yeah, that lussi is absolutely delicious. And that's what I would like. And it Pushes me nicely from all those mains into the next hack that.

[Benito]

I'd like to do a hack before the dessert.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Come on, Ben. I absolutely love. I love the hacks, by the way.

[James Acaster]

Thank you.

[Ed Gamble]

Thank you.

[Benito]

Yeah, I do. I love the hacks. I want. It's like a bonus, isn't it?

[Ed Gamble]

Exactly.

[Benito]

Juicy little bonus round.

[James Acaster]

And I'm able to do both of these hacks, the cheese course and the pre dessert, kind of in one, because I had him in the same place last week. So before last week, there was no hack here. I was gonna go straight to the dessert and be a good little boy.

[Benito]

Right.

[James Acaster]

But then I went to Asteria Giorgione de Massa in Venice. Wow.

[Benito]

Who did you go with? George Clooney? Probably Dave.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. But absolutely love stuff.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I met my girlfriend, but we met our friends there who lived there, and they were like, this place is amazing. Gotta go. The whole meal was delicious. And then for dessert, they were like, we should order all the desserts because they were all brilliant. And now here's what I'm worried about is that I've not done very well at describing food.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Until up until this point. Straight in there and looking at what I'm about to describe, I don't think I'm gonna to do these justice.

[Benito]

Okay, listen, there's still a piece of.

[Ed Gamble]

On an old log. Look, I know it sounds bad, but you can really taste all the. When you're eating it.

[James Acaster]

So my cheese course is blue cheese ice cream from this place.

[Ed Gamble]

Now, how are you feeling about that, aj?

[Benito]

Right, you've lost me. You've lost me. And I love blue cheese. I love ice cream. But together sounds criminal.

[James Acaster]

Trust me. Incredible.

[Benito]

I'm calling the police.

[James Acaster]

Looks like a scoop of that yellow vanilla ice cream. When you get the vanilla ice cream from shots that's yellow looks like that really generous.

[Ed Gamble]

It looks bad.

[James Acaster]

No, no, it's delicious.

[Benito]

Yeah. Looks very cheesy.

[James Acaster]

Please, please. Sorry, sorry.

[Ed Gamble]

So it looks like bad ice cream.

[James Acaster]

Looks incredible. Would it convince you, aj, if I told you that the cheese flavor is incredibly strong? Cause it really is. It is so strong of blue cheese.

[Ed Gamble]

Is it one of the things, the sort of things, you eat it and your brain's, like, going wild, going, how? Why is this happening in my mouth, what I'm looking at? Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I couldn't stop eating it. It was so good.

[Benito]

No, no, no.

[James Acaster]

You might. I know you're saying no, no, but trust me, if you like cheese and you like ice cream, you'd be surprised how much you'd like it.

[Benito]

Right.

[James Acaster]

It was both these things I'm shouting out. I immediately ordered them again. I had them both again immediately.

[Benito]

Do you know what I'm gonna say here? I think you're one of those people who's, like, who's loving that trend of ice cream and salt and olive oil.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, I love that. That was on my menu last time.

[Benito]

Which I do not like.

[Ed Gamble]

I nearly did it again.

[Benito]

Wow. No, you see, I've tried it, and I really tried to like it. Cause I was like, everyone loves this. Come on, aj, you know, broaden that palette of yours. It's just not for me.

[James Acaster]

Oh, you would hate this, actually.

[Benito]

Pampering with ice cream like this. Do you know what I mean?

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

What's ice cream ever done to you to deserve this?

[James Acaster]

Well, actually, and I know this because I studied it for my mastermind round. One of the original flavors of ice cream was cheese.

[Benito]

Yeah. Pretty much got abolished.

[James Acaster]

That's true.

[Benito]

And transform vanilla and chocolate and strawberry. Because that's better.

[Ed Gamble]

No, he loves ice cream. But it's got to the point now, you know, when you, like, hear about, like, porn addicts, where they've been through all the standard stuff, it doesn't do anything for them anymore. So it needs to get more and more extreme.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Everyone else is disgusted at you.

[Benito]

This is like hardcore.

[Ed Gamble]

This is beyond hardcore ice cream.

[Benito]

This is triple X rated.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. I'm in big trouble if people find out I've been eating this. So had that. But then since this is like, my head was spinning because there was that. But also there was grappa panna cotta that we had. Wow. And the grappa, I would say, had been free poured in there by someone who did not give a shit.

[Ed Gamble]

Is this your pre dessert now, by the way?

[James Acaster]

Pre dessert? So blue cheese ice cream is my cheese course that bridges from the mains to the desserts. And then my pre dessert is the grappa panna cotta, also from the same place. These were on the same table at the same time. I was going back and forth going, these are two of the best desserts I've ever had. I can't believe I'm eating them at once. Two more immediately, please. And I ordered them again. The grappa in this, it is the most boozy thing I've ever tasted. It again, when I put it in my mouth, I was like, that is way too much. That is incredibly. That is ridiculous. Also, that's one of the tastiest things I've ever had. And I'm going straight back in for another one. I cannot emphasize enough how much this was more grappa than panna cotta. Like, it was still a solid panna cotta, but it just tasted like pure grapper. It was mad, and I loved it so much. And that having two things on the table at once that were 10 out of tens and then being able to order them again immediately because I didn't want it to end, wow, felt great. And I knew I've gotta. I've got to get them into this menu now. I've got to do the hacks.

[Benito]

Do you know what? I love that for you. I love it for you. You enjoyed it. You loved it.

[James Acaster]

Emphasizing the word you a lot.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Benito]

You. You really, really like that. And I do love that for you.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Do you think the booziness of the second of the panna cotta, you know, influenced the taste of that very cheesy ice cream?

[James Acaster]

No way. No way. Because I think. I think I started with the ice cream, actually, and I was going back and forth, but, like, maybe it did. And that's why I want them on the same menu as well.

[Benito]

Yeah, you need them together. You experience them together, you want them together again.

[James Acaster]

So even though they're separate courses, I would like them on the table at the same time so I can. I can relive that for you. Forth.

[Benito]

Emphasis on you. For you. A match made in heaven.

[James Acaster]

A match made in heaven. I was in heaven, and I love heaven.

[Ed Gamble]

I pumped here, A.J.

[Benito]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Because I didn't know we were doing a cheese course or a pre dessert.

[Benito]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

I was pretty happy with what I had so far. I was struggling over a couple of the main ones anyway, so. Cheese course. I mean, I should be the one who knows what I want for my cheese course.

[Benito]

But you're gonna have a cheese drink.

[Ed Gamble]

No.

[Benito]

Was that the panic?

[Ed Gamble]

It wasn't the panic. It was baby bell. I always knew I was having baby bell, but I think I do want blue cheese, but in a more traditional format, AKA blue cheese. But Stilton. You know, when you get Stilton in a jar in, like, a ceramic jar, for some reason, I prefer that to slices.

[Benito]

It feels like a cut above. That's fine.

[Ed Gamble]

It feels like a cut above and you can spoon it out of there. And I want a spoon, and I want a big jar of Stilton, and I want to eat it like a yogurt.

[James Acaster]

What?

[Benito]

That's not traditional.

[Ed Gamble]

That's not traditional. That's the twist. But also for when I'm a little bit overcome with the blue cheese taste, I want a plate of cold and crisp pear slices.

[Benito]

Delicious. That. That. We're back. You lost me for a second. And now we're back.

[Ed Gamble]

And I want to, you know, occasionally in between great gobfuls of blue cheese, I'll take a little nibble of the pear slice just to bring my mouth back to life.

[Benito]

Exactly.

[Ed Gamble]

And then I'm back in with the spoon.

[Benito]

And now you're back appreciating that cheese. You know, you never thought of just spreading it on a cracker.

[Ed Gamble]

No.

[Benito]

Or just spreading the cheese onto the pear. Why must the spoon be so heavily involved?

[Ed Gamble]

Now and again, I will spread the cheese onto a pear slice to mix it up a little bit.

[Benito]

Okay. Right, right.

[Ed Gamble]

But that'll probably make me think I'm gonna go back to my previous method of spooning this blue cheese into my mouth and freshening my palate up with a cold pear slice.

[Benito]

It's so good. This is dangerous though, guys. I can't believe you're in such good neck.

[James Acaster]

Well, we don't actually do this. This is the dream.

[Benito]

I'm like, wow, just like a ball of cheese.

[Ed Gamble]

This is Christmas. I would do that at Christmas.

[Benito]

Yeah, yeah. So nice.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, pre dessert. So I didn't. Didn't know what to do for this. Obviously, I've eaten many nice pre desserts in my life. Judgment. Great British menu, we get pre desserts as part of it. But I sort of set myself a rule for not picking anything from great British menu. That because I want people to be able to go out and have things.

[James Acaster]

But also it's like, then you're like, you're picking a favorite, like exactly one of your friends or one of your.

[Ed Gamble]

And I've already judged, you know.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah. It's not fair.

[Ed Gamble]

Now, when I went to Japan last year, the whole point of the trip to Japan, as James knows, is, sure, you go out and have some nice food, you see some great sights, but then at about 10pm you head to a 711 or a Lawson's or a Family Mart, and you just fill the bag full of stuff every night, filling, like cans of whiskey soda, iced coffee for the next morning. So many snacks. And the thing I got every single night in Japan, I had to remind myself of the name of the company. And I did that by searching the picture of it that I sent to James when I was in Japan is a bag of dark chocolate covered frozen banana slices.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Benito]

Ooh, that sounds so good.

[Ed Gamble]

They're from a company called Tropical Maria.

[Benito]

Are they frozen? Are they yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

So they come out of the. Well, room temperature. Interesting. You say about room temperature. They come out of the freezer section. So they are frozen, but I think they're quite ripe, so you get that proper banana flavor. So you eat them frozen.

[James Acaster]

They're like little ice cream treats vegetables than mine. That I did. Yeah.

[Benito]

Just throwing them in.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Benito]

How big are they? Like how. How good is this for people with sensitive teeth? Not. Not good. Do you like, really chew?

[James Acaster]

No, because they're more chewy than hard, aren't they? They're not like those like hard bananas, you know, like banana chips or anything. They're nice and chewy because I think.

[Ed Gamble]

They leave them to ripen for a decent amount of time. So it's quite intense banana flavor and also a little bit softer. And even though, you know, because you get them out the freezer, you. You buy them, take them back. Back. They're thawing a little bit on. On the way back, so they've got a softness to them. But honestly, AJ was going through bags of these things.

[Benito]

Oh, my word. How. How much in a bag is it? This. Is this like a 1 kg sack?

[Ed Gamble]

No. God. Imagine.

[Benito]

Well, I was just.

[Ed Gamble]

I just need to know it's more of like a sensible portion for one person.

[Benito]

So maybe like a crisp packet.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Maybe like 10 or 11 little banana slices in there.

[Benito]

Oh, nice. It's the 30 grammer.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. And it's only a pre. Dessert. We don't want to go crazy.

[James Acaster]

Oh, yeah, yeah, look.

[Benito]

What about dessert? Are we ready for that?

[James Acaster]

Yes. Yeah, always.

[Ed Gamble]

So we talked about cheese at Christmas. I mentioned cheese at Christmas.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Huh.

[Ed Gamble]

Cheese is have at Christmas.

[James Acaster]

But what are you about to do now?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, I'm. I'm about to go Christmas.

[Benito]

Oh, my. Wait, you're dropping the sea bomb.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm dropping the SEO.

[Benito]

Wow, wow, wow.

[Ed Gamble]

Christmas pudding. Pudding. Christmas pudding. But I'm eating it the day after. It was the main dessert. So Boxing Day, traditionally, depending on. Depending on whenever this dream meal's happening, the Christmas pudding was served the day before. And this is leftovers. And I'm warming it up by pan frying it in butter. And then I'm adding when it's really, really warm. And I've pan fried it in salted butter, putting it in a bowl, and I'm adding brandy butter, single cream, and cart door ice cream.

[Benito]

Yeah, sounds good. That sounds good. The day after as well.

[Ed Gamble]

Vanilla cart door ice cream. Yeah.

[Benito]

The day after as well. Because everything just hits different the day after.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. And it's just a Essentially because I'm putting so much stuff on top, it just turns into a big bowl of thick Christmas soup.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, I, I, I, that, that time between Christmas and New Year, it's all just Christmas pudding. And then I'm tipping custard and brandy. Brandy cream.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Over at the same time.

[Ed Gamble]

Like it's cereal. Right?

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Mashing it all up.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Just walking around like it's like some special milkshake I got from McDonald's. This is like a, a McFlurry, but Christmassy.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Oh, my gosh. Yes. Like a festive ice cream.

[Ed Gamble]

So that's what I'm doing.

[Benito]

That sounds so good. I'll allow the sea bomb for that.

[Ed Gamble]

Thank you.

[Benito]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was risky.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm going to pair it with a quick drink, if I may.

[Benito]

Oh, well, do you know what? Go on.

[Ed Gamble]

If I may drop another sea bomb. Chateau et Cem, the greatest dessert wine in the world, considered by many to be. I've had it a few occasions. This is pricey stuff. So this is not. I'm not buying bottles of this.

[Benito]

This is a present. This is a gift.

[Ed Gamble]

This is a gift from someone who's pretty flush, I'd say.

[Benito]

Right.

[Ed Gamble]

But it is just the most gorgeous sweet wine. It's, you know, and it's got all those flavors you want in there from the sweet wine. The sort of orange peel, the slightly honeyed, but just. And almost floral. So it's light and it's got that dessert. Dessert wine, a mouthfeel as well, of being a little bit. A little bit thicker.

[Benito]

So if I were to push the bar out and treat myself to a glass or a bottle of this, what am I pairing it with?

[James Acaster]

Pudding.

[Benito]

Not the crispy pudding.

[Ed Gamble]

No. See, it's hard to pair it.

[Benito]

Well, it's too sweet.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, No, I know what you mean. Because. Because I heard someone say the other day that the pudding should never be sweeter than the dessert wine. So the dessert wine should always be the sweetest thing. I mean, you could have it with cheese, but maybe a lighter dessert. Maybe like. And this is just off the top of my head, why. Nuts. Don't get angry with me. Maybe like a tartan tat. A tartan tin.

[Benito]

Okay. A creme brulee.

[Ed Gamble]

A creme brulee, perhaps.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

But honestly, I would just. It's the dream meal.

[James Acaster]

Meal.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm not paying for it, so I'd say bring me Chateau Yquem from loads of different vintages, and I'm putting straws in them and I'm, I'M drinking it like a yop.

[Benito]

Just guzzle, guzzle.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, I'm guzzling it down.

[Benito]

Wow.

[Ed Gamble]

So that's. That's my. That's my drink pairing.

[Benito]

Cheers to you.

[Ed Gamble]

Cheers to you, aj.

[Benito]

James. Well, look, top that.

[James Acaster]

Not a million miles away from what Ed just said, is it?

[Ed Gamble]

Are we in fist bump territory?

[James Acaster]

Well, maybe half fist bump territory. I'm. I'm going to. I mentioned it on the podcast before and this is a successful bullying that I did to a restaurant where they had it as a special and I bullied them into putting it on permanently. And it's from a restaurant called Core C O R in Bristol and they do this tiramisu that instead of using sponge fingers, they use panettone and it tastes like Christmas pudding. Tiramisu.

[Ed Gamble]

It's not quite a fist bump, I don't think.

[James Acaster]

It's not quite a fist bump, but it's Christmas pudding. The flavor of Christmas pudding is there, believe you me.

[Benito]

Yeah, Hints of Christmas.

[James Acaster]

Great orange and nutmeg on it as well.

[Benito]

Oh, it's very festive.

[James Acaster]

It's incredible. Again, it was one of those ones where as soon as it went in my mouth, time stood still and I saw the world differently and I was glad that I'd been born at all. I got to experience such a thing. I mean, it does taste exactly like someone has taken the best elements of tiramisu, best elements of Christmas pudding, and they throw them together. That's so good, you know, Know, like a little brat. I was like, they got to have that on the menu permanently, blah, blah, blah. Because my tour manager had gone the day after I'd had it because I'd gone on about it so much and they weren't there, not the menu. And they said, oh, that was just for yesterday. So I came on the podcast, run my mouth off enough. And then same tour manager was back in Bristol with someone else because he sometimes people, he went back and they remembered him and they went, oh, but, well, you. That's a hit. Here is now on the menu because he's bullied us.

[Benito]

That's great success.

[James Acaster]

Really glad we're my bully in there.

[Benito]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

So, yeah, that's. I mean, that won't surprise anyone who regularly listens to this podcast because I went on about it so much the first time and shout out to my mum, she tried to recreate it for Christmas. And Joe. What, Mum? For a first. For a first go. It was great. And dad, no, it wasn't awful.

[Ed Gamble]

You. He's texting me Saying how bad it was.

[James Acaster]

I was not doing that. Mum. He's lying about that. He's making that up, you know that. He's stirrer. And dad said it's. It's how he wants to in massu from now on. So dad clearly preferred it to the regular.

[Ed Gamble]

He said it was all split.

[James Acaster]

Didn't say it was all split, Mom. I didn't say it.

[Ed Gamble]

You said it was like cottage cheese on toast.

[James Acaster]

I didn't say it was like cottage on ch. Mum, please make it again for Christmas.

[Benito]

Well, these desserts aren't just for Christmas, they're for all year round.

[Ed Gamble]

I agree.

[James Acaster]

And I hadn't planned to pair it with anything and I probably won't. I'll. I'll. I'll leave it at that, I think.

[Ed Gamble]

Fair enough.

[Benito]

That's nice. Well, thanks for that, boys. That sounds absolutely delicious.

[James Acaster]

If you. If I may.

[Benito]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

[James Acaster]

So sorry.

[Ed Gamble]

How dare you.

[Benito]

I feel like I've wrapped it up. I tried to skip the main course.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

The fish course almost got vetoed.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

And now this.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. So petty.

[Benito]

4.

[Ed Gamble]

How could you forget the petit four?

[James Acaster]

Oh, my God, I can't believe.

[Benito]

So sorry. The petit four.

[Ed Gamble]

Let me tell you, if you were working at a restaurant, you'd be fired pretty quickly. If you did that to us.

[James Acaster]

Yes. We would get you fired. Now again. I mean, I'm almost going out of my way now to get a further roasting because this is not gonna sound. Again, you're gonna hear this and go, that doesn't sound nice. But it is. It's incredibly nice. And I couldn't stop eating it. I went to my friend Jonathan's house in LA and he was cooking people in la. Yeah. It was unnecessary to add la, was it?

[Ed Gamble]

It's just after the running.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Why did I do that?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. My friend Jonathan's house in la.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Idiot. Absolute idiot. Added that. But not do what for the listener? I'm not. I'm not going to retake it. I deserve everything I get. I've got a friend. I've got a friend who lives in LA and went for D. And for dessert. This is from a cookbook called the Family Meal. By now you'll probably know this person. Ferran Adria.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Spanish Chef.

[James Acaster]

Watermelon cubed, drizzled with lemon syrup. And this is where I might lose you. Dusted with ground up powdered menthol cough drops.

[Benito]

Cough drops.

[James Acaster]

Menthol cough drops. So they got a bunch of cough drops, smashed them up with a rolling pin. To smithereens and then dusted them over the top of this cubed up watermelon and lemon syrup.

[Benito]

This is experimental, to say the least.

[James Acaster]

It was.

[Benito]

Can you get the drops from Boots?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Oh, yeah.

[Benito]

Wow.

[James Acaster]

It's wherever you buy men fold cough drops from, smash them up. So very easy to make this.

[Ed Gamble]

Did your mum try and make this for Christmas this week?

[James Acaster]

No, I can't convince her to do it.

[Ed Gamble]

She'd probably end up pouring cowpole over a honeydew.

[James Acaster]

Mum, ignore this man. And by the way, that sounds nice, Ed.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, it does, actually.

[James Acaster]

So sorry, Joe, but people might try doing that.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

If you. If any listening wants to try pouring cowpole on a honeydew and letting us know how it tastes, please do, because it does sound good.

[Ed Gamble]

No context left. Menu.

[James Acaster]

But, yeah, my mum. I have mentioned this to my mum and she refuses to make it because she thinks it doesn't sound nice.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

But it was so nice. Again, I've chosen another thing where I can't describe the taste because I've never tasted it anywhere else. And when I was tasting it, like, a lot of things on this menu, my eyes just turned into spirals that were going round and round and I wasn't thinking anything about how it tastes. I was just like. Like on this other plane, being like, well, I'm in space right now. This is crazy. And now when I try and explain how delicious it tasted, it's very difficult, but it is also, I guess it tasted exactly how it sounds. So if that doesn't sound good to you, you might not like it.

[Benito]

What was the texture?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, these are just like a watermelon because it was so powdered.

[Benito]

Crunchy.

[James Acaster]

So it was like they were powdered to the point where it was like sprinkling sugar on it. So it was like. It's like you weren't like getting these, like, lumps of, like, cough drops. You were having a crunch through.

[Benito]

Right.

[James Acaster]

They were dusted all over the watermelon and the lemon syrup was spread nice and evenly as well. So it was just like. You were just like that, throwing the watermelon, two cubes of watermelon in your mouth and it just had this kind of. First of all, you just hit the watermelon with the sweetness of the lemon syrup and then this wave of, like, menthol cough drops.

[Ed Gamble]

Wow.

[James Acaster]

Would just go through your head, go through your airway days. It was something else, man. It was so good.

[Benito]

Well, you know, anything is worth the try, isn't it? I did. I'm glad that you explained the texture though, because I was envisioning sort of like watermelon with like chunks of lockets on them.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, no, no, no.

[Benito]

Sounded quite aggressive.

[James Acaster]

No, no, no, no, no, do not do that. And I'm pretty sure actually the, the cocktail.

[Ed Gamble]

What's the name of the place?

[James Acaster]

Well, it's the family meal.

[Ed Gamble]

Was the cookbook it, Was it from a cookbook?

[James Acaster]

Yes, at my friend Jonathan's house.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, so Jonathan did it at his house?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay, cool.

[James Acaster]

It's made it his house? Yeah, yeah, in la. Got petit fours.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Madeleine's from the French house.

[Benito]

Oh, yes. What's this?

[Ed Gamble]

Beautiful, beautiful. Madeleine's freshly baked. I mean, I, I, I don't normally like spongy cakey things, but there's something about Madeleine's. The smells ones, the smell when they come out the oven, there's crispy on the outside, soft and steaming in the middle. Absolutely delicious. And, and I think I've shouted out the madeleines from St. John before, they're still great. But we went to the French house for my birthday and got the madeleines at the end and it is joyous.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, they were really good. Yeah, Lovely way to end a meal.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Bye.

[Ed Gamble]

And I will have a Papi Van Winkle 15 year bourbon please as well.

[Benito]

Yeah, just throw that in there. Just casual.

[Ed Gamble]

It was on a previous menu I did with Pappy Van Winkle. Still haven't been able to have have it. I had it once way before I chose it before. It's so expensive. I'm going nowhere near it. You know the recommended retail price of these bottles is like 160 quid, but once the shops get their hands on them, they're so highly allocated that they're selling them for two and a half grand. A.J.

[Benito]

Oh my God.

[Ed Gamble]

And I'm going nowhere near that because nothing is worth two and a half grand and I'm including cars and I'm just a down to earth guy.

[Benito]

Yeah, just a down to earth guy. They sound so good. I'm glad we've got some nice cakey, cakey numbers in there as well because, you know, like my favourite dessert still is like custard and cake. It's very underrated. But you know that texture, unbeatable, those.

[Ed Gamble]

Flavors, nothing else scratches that itch.

[Benito]

No, it doesn't comfort.

[James Acaster]

You'd love those madeleines. You'd love them.

[Benito]

Yeah, yeah. So I want to try that. I want to try, I want to try a lot of the menu. I'm clear from the cheesy Ice cream.

[James Acaster]

I have a feeling that if you had to eat a dream menu out of mine in should eat Ed Stream.

[Benito]

Menu, I. I would, I would.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Benito]

You know, you've got. You got some bangers in there, though.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, you do.

[Benito]

You know, your bread course alone.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Was exceptional.

[Ed Gamble]

The bread course includes my bread course, sure. And two other delicious sounding breads.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, sounds true.

[Benito]

Well, thank you for that, boys. I'm now going to read your menu back to you.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Fasten your seat belts because we've had an absolute feast here.

[Ed Gamble]

I'd have to loosen my seatbelt.

[Benito]

Yeah, yeah, loosen it, loosen it. Your aperitif. Ed, you're having Manuela from Taberna La Concha. Beautiful, delicious drink. James, you're having an oyster shell martini from Bratz.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Chin chin to you both. We're gonna wash it down with some water. But not just any water, Ed, Blackburn tap water. Exquisite choice as a Blackburn native, myself. And James, you're having the hops infused sparkling water from Scarlet Off Track Brewing in Manchester. Sounds interesting.

[James Acaster]

Thank you.

[Benito]

Worth a try. Worth a try. Now, you are both used to being welcomed by the chef and of course, you're both having a chef's welcome as a result. Edge, you're having a cheeky little sausage roll from the hand and flowers. And James, you're. You're having steak and chips on a cocktail stick from Paul Feig's personal chef.

[James Acaster]

On a boat.

[Benito]

On a boat.

[James Acaster]

Jesus.

[Ed Gamble]

Listen, it's all right for some, isn't it?

[Benito]

It really is all right for some. This is how the other half lives. I'm just experiencing it. I've come out of the lamp to just experience this. Thank you. Papa Doms or bread. You both went. Bread, please. Ed, you've gone for a day called yes, from the door Hut.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Benito]

And James, you're having a bread basket.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

You're having a smorgasbord charred flatbreads in there, a dago from the door huts in there and then there's peach pineapple and a tangerine sandwich from the family Mart. It sounds sweet, a little bit soggy, but you said it's good, so that's in the basket. Starter. Big on starters, both of us. Here. Ed, you're having a spider crab omelette from Mountain. I can highly recommend. James, you're having king crab legs with frozen quince and brushed with savory fudge from Norma. You really are a man of the people.

[James Acaster]

Oh, God.

[Benito]

You know, we can going on to the fish now. I'm following on with the man of the people, you know, Persona that you've got going on here. James, you're having the age gilt head bream from Al Camila. Yes. Okay, I just wanted to make sure that I pronounced that right. Alcamila. That's what we're going with. Ed, you're having oysters.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, Oysters Charentes with spicy sausages from.

[Benito]

Rick Stein seafood restaurant. Delicious, boys, delicious. Now we're moving on to the main. Now we're not missing that even though we've had all of this food. Ed, you're having the dry aged slades down duck with a whole meal loaf filled with comfey duck from Scoff.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, please.

[Benito]

And James, you're having a beef Wellington again for the third year running from Ron Gastro bar. Cheeky little sides now.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Benito]

Ed, you're going to have some barbecue miso butter hispy cabbage.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Benito]

And. And salt and pepper chips from any Chinese. And James, you're gonna take the lime pickle slaw from Mildred's and you're also gonna chuck in some Kentucky fried mussels from Ox Club. Yeah, you're just gonna chuck them into your gob?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, I am.

[Benito]

Chuck, chuck, Chuck.

[James Acaster]

Well, after the other.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Benito]

Drink. Ed, you're gonna have the Lopez de Herida vina Tondonia grand reserve rose wine.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, thank you, AJ and sorry for that.

[Benito]

What a gorgeous pronunciation for my dulcet tones. James, you're gonna have the cardamom and coriander lassie from behind.

[James Acaster]

Yes, please.

[Benito]

In Hackney. And we're gonna get some cheese. A big cheese course. Now, Ed, you're gonna have a big jar of Stilton eaten like a yogurt with a plate of cold crisp pear slices. Thank you. And Jake, you're gonna indulge in blue cheese ice cream from Osteria Giorgone di Massa in Venice.

[James Acaster]

Yes, please.

[Benito]

We're gonna have a pre dessert.

[Ed Gamble]

Of course we are.

[Benito]

Obviously. Ed. Bag of Tropical Maria dark chocolate covered frozen banana slices. Sounds exquisite. James, you're gonna have the grappa panna cotta from Asteria Giorgione di mas. Pricey. Sounds boozy and pricey.

[James Acaster]

Thank you. Actually, it wasn't that pricey that place. I shut that out. You don't have to fly to Venice.

[Benito]

But you do have to fly to Venice. Probably get a boat to the restaurant.

[James Acaster]

Thank you, Paul.

[Ed Gamble]

See you next time.

[Benito]

Dessert now. Leftover Christmas pudding is all yours, Ed. We've pan fried it in salted butter with brandy butter, single cream and vanilla cocktail ice cream and a glass of Chateau De chem. James, Christmas pudding. Tiramisu from Cor.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Benito]

Nice, simple. And finally, you're both finishing things off with a petit 4. Ed, you're having Madeline's from the French house and a Papa Van Winkle 15 year bourbon.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, thank you.

[Benito]

Two and a half gram bottle. Sure, why not? And James, you're having. Having cubed watermelon drizzled with lemon syrup, dusted with powdered menthol cough drops.

[Ed Gamble]

What a horrible way to end it.

[James Acaster]

Incredible way to end it.

[Benito]

That petit four. James is from Jonathan's house in la.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Benito]

What a sunny, gorgeous way to end it. We're on a holiday.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Nice stuff, Abby.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm happy with those.

[James Acaster]

I'm very happy with it. And, you know, know, I, I, I want to encourage the listeners to try my dishes before, you know, writing them off completely, because I know I've done a bad job describing them there, but they are nice.

[Benito]

I'm gonna give it a go, you know, the next time. The next time. The next time I'm on a boat, a plane, L.A. i'll definitely give some of those a try.

[Ed Gamble]

Or next time you got a cough.

[James Acaster]

The next time I've got a cough. Yeah. That's a good way to introduce yourself to that dish, actually. Wait till you've got a cough. Try it. Might like it.

[Benito]

Exactly.

[Ed Gamble]

Aj, thank you so much for guest hosting off menu. You've been fantastic.

[James Acaster]

You've been very patient with us, aj, so the menus were so long, and thank you for guiding us through them. And Joe. What? Regardless, you made us feel like you were interested.

[Benito]

I genuinely was interested. I still am interested. I'm gonna try some of these dishes. Some of them I'll swerve, but some of them I'll try. They sound amazing in. Exquisite. Very decadent.

[James Acaster]

Yes, very decadent, boys. And Joe. What? I think while we're eating our dream menus, we'll be watching Big Brother, hosted by yourself. And also dress the nation, of course. So we'll look forward to watching those later in the year.

[Benito]

Thank you. Tuck in and enjoy the shows.

[Ed Gamble]

Thanks, aj.

[James Acaster]

Thanks, aj.

[Benito]

Thank you.

[Ed Gamble]

Wow, James. I'm full, baby.

[James Acaster]

I'm full. Full up. I'm so full.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

You know, I learned a lot about myself in that episode.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I've changed.

[Ed Gamble]

You've changed.

[James Acaster]

I'm an absolute bouge. Lord.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And all of my favorite meals sound disgusting.

[Ed Gamble]

No, I think everything on there sounds incredible. And obviously I do. The thing I want to try most now.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Is the watermelon with cough lozenges.

[James Acaster]

And you can do that. You can go home and do that. You can make that yourself.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, but is it. Could you find out from your friend Jonathan in LA if he gets. If he gets phone reception up in the Hollywood Hills, what particular lozenge he went for?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Because if it's an American only lozenge.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I am touring to the States next year.

[James Acaster]

That's exciting.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. Come and see me on. On tour in America and I will pick up a big bag of lozenges for my watermelon.

[James Acaster]

Well, if you go see one of Ed's shows, bring some cough lozenges with you and men fold cough sweets and give them to him.

[Ed Gamble]

No, no, no, we'll find out. Find out from Jonathan which ones.

[Benito]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

Well, I think your menu sounded delicious, Ed.

[Ed Gamble]

Thank you. As did yours.

[James Acaster]

It's so, so beautifully described as. Well, thank you to AJ Again, a fantastic waiter.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. So good.

[James Acaster]

Do tune into Big Brother and dress the nation.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. AJ is such a good vibe.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Absolutely fantastic.

[Ed Gamble]

We should go out for a meal with aj, shouldn't we?

[James Acaster]

Really? Yeah. I mean, maybe one of your places. By the sound of the reaction that.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, we'll go to Mountain. She seems to like Mountain. Anyway, so.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'll have a lovely time.

[Ed Gamble]

We'll get some out.

[James Acaster]

We've been sent some food recently. The Flapjackery sent us some flapjacks. Thank you for that.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. So we talked about them in Dermot's episode and we're very lucky to have been sent some. Absolutely delicious.

[James Acaster]

And Daisy Ridley mentioned this isn't sausages. And they've sent us a lot of. This isn't sausages. And Bonito's a vegetarian. He's a very happy little boy.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And actually, while we're on the subject, thank you, Benito, for another hundred fantastic episodes.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, thank you, Benito.

[James Acaster]

Editing them and recording them.

[Ed Gamble]

We assume they've been well edited. We. We don't listen.

[James Acaster]

We don't listen. But we don't listen because we don't have to because we know we're in good hands.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. And we were there.

[James Acaster]

We were there. Which actually, you know, usually would mean I would listen because I was worried about if I sound like a Wally.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, but you know, you sound like a Wally.

[James Acaster]

I know it.

[Ed Gamble]

Roots Coffee sent us some coffee. Thank you so much. It's always good to have nice coffee in the studio and in the office.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

For our wonderful guests and us. And also the people who work here. Talking to the people who work here. Tokla's Bakery sent us some lovely pastries.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Did we get a sniff of those? No, we didn't. Because the horrible little trolls who all work here that Benito chains to their desk and doesn't allow them natural light. They all snaffled the pastries because they needed to get their blood glucose levels up because they're working so hard. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

That is what happened. And we came in and they went, we're so sorry we ate your pastries.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Well, there we go, ed. It's another 300 episodes. Yeah, I guess we'll do another hundred more.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, please.

[James Acaster]

And if we sound tired, it's just because we had a massive meal just now.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. And also that episode was longer than normal.

[James Acaster]

That was a long episode. That was so long.

[Ed Gamble]

AJ kept the energy up, though, is a professional. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

That's why AJ hosts live television.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. We were tired because on our own podcast, we deliberately made it longer by picking way more things than we needed to. And we're tired and annoyed at. At that.

[James Acaster]

Yes, yes. That's why we're very lucky to have a podcast at all.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

Because, I mean, you do host TV shows, to be fair to you, but absolutely. No, I. I. For one thing, I learned from this podcast. Day one, I'll be like, I'm out. I'm not hosting this TV show. This is exhausted.

[Ed Gamble]

But thank you for listening. Of course, loyal listeners, 300 episodes. We hope you enjoy the ride of the next one.

[James Acaster]

See you later. And keep things off menu.

[Benito]

Beth, you're in charge of ordering the.

[James Acaster]

Tacos for the meeting today.

[Benito]

Yeah, I'm not going to order the tacos.

[James Acaster]

Uh, what?

[Benito]

I'm going to Easy Cater the tacos.

[Unknown]

With Easy Cater, you can order from a huge variety of restaurants, tracking expenses and save time.

[James Acaster]

Nice.

[Benito]

Oh, by the way, you're emailing the meeting notes, right?

[James Acaster]

No, I'm going to Easy Mail them. Where's my music?

[Unknown]

Sorry, Ben, there's no easycater for that.

[James Acaster]

Easycater. The easy way to order food for work. Order [e-mail] Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

[Benito]

Hey, folks, it's Marc Maron from WTF.

[James Acaster]

It's been more than 15 years now.

[Benito]

And I'm still talking to all kinds of people in my garage every week. Sometimes it's Bill Burr, sometimes it's Ariana Grande.

[Ed Gamble]

She just looks at me because she's always going like, dad, it's not that big a deal. Yeah.

[Benito]

I go, sorry, I lost my temper. I go, I still love you.

[Ed Gamble]

You know daddy has issues.

[AJ Odudu]

Are you afraid of it?

[Ed Gamble]

Of dad death?

[James Acaster]

Well, I don't. I think about it all the time.

[Benito]

How are we here already?

[Ed Gamble]

Listen to WTF with Mark Maron twice.

[Benito]

A week on your favorite podcast app.

[Ed Gamble]

Or get more WTF with a WTF plus subscription. Just go to wtfpod.com and click on WTF Plus.

[James Acaster]

Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh boy, oh boy. The off menu boys are back in town doing live shows in London. James.

[James Acaster]

Ed, drop the app. We're a couple of losers who can't even sell out the Royal Albert Hall.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, I think we pretty much have, James. We're doing five shows at the Royal Albert Hall, 13th to 15th March 2026.

[James Acaster]

This is depressing, man. We used to be a great podcast. People used to flock to see us and now we've got got like some tickets still looking around for Royal Albert Hall. Are you kidding me?

[Ed Gamble]

This is exciting, James. So many tickets. It's going to be tasting menus, it will be previous fan favorite guests being given the menus of other previous guests.

[James Acaster]

The shows are going to be brilliant and we haven't even sold them out. We're on the, we're on the way out, James. It's the Royal we're on the way out. And listen, if you were ever a fan of this podcast, you got to come and see these shows because that this could be be it. This could be the end.

[Ed Gamble]

Offbenupodcast.co.uk for tickets. Happy with that.