Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster

Guest: Neil Hannon (The Divine Comedy)

Release Date: September 3, 2025
Main Theme: Neil Hannon enters Ed and James’ “dream restaurant” to select his ideal meal, revealing nostalgia, humour, and unexpected Christmas vibes—all while discussing teeth woes, musical influence, and the search for the perfect orange.

Episode Overview

This episode of Off Menu sees musical legend Neil Hannon (The Divine Comedy) join comedians Ed Gamble and James Acaster to design his fantasy feast. Throughout, Neil’s wry self-awareness and deep sense of nostalgia infuse the conversation, leading to musings about food, family, music, and the perils of terrible teeth. With both hosts on playful form—and plenty of diversions into National Express memories, childhood bread tricks, and the politics of side dishes—the episode is as cozy and offbeat as a Divine Comedy song itself.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Guest Introduction & Divine Comedy Context

• Neil Hannon: Lauded for his inventive pop and cult favourite band The Divine Comedy, Neil is on to plug his new album Rainy Sunday Afternoon and tour (starts October 2025).
  • “[Divine Comedy] going all over the place… Barbican, Philharmonic Hall, Royal Concert Hall…” (04:09)
• Hosts’ Admiration: Ed and James are open fanboys, reminiscing about seeing Neil live and National Express earworms.

2. Secret Ingredient: “Crisps and Tea”

• This week’s “off menu” booby trap is a nod to National Express lyrics: if Neil orders both “crisps and tea,” he’s ejected.
• Gentle banter about rule lawyering:
  “If he says crisps, and then later tea… you’re out.” (05:37)

3. On Fame, Teeth, and Food Relationships

• Neil’s Difficult Relationship with Food:
  • Cites “awful teeth” as making food hard to enjoy in recent decades.
  • “I have liked food more in the past when I found it easier to eat. Now, Angel Delight would be perfect.” (11:06)
• Childhood:
  • Grew up in a Northern Irish rector’s family (“rectory, not rectum!”), with early food memories involving playing with plain white bread from the local Milanda Bakery.
    • “All we had to play with was bread.” (23:39)

4. Music Industry and Artistic Evolution

• Making Albums at 50+:
  • “I feel good that I have made a bloody good album at this great age… it’s like the 13th one I’ve made…” (13:04)
  • Less pressure to be “pop”; more focus on quality and following his own interests.
• Fan Generations:
  • Observes that younger audiences are now often children of his original fans. “It’s like a monarchy now… they have a divine right.” (14:26)

5. Hilarious Riffing & Recurring Jokes

• Andre 3000 and Ageing in Music:
  • Neil and hosts debate whether older artists should keep rapping, leading to riffs about middle-aged rap lyrics (“decision-making around where their kids are gonna go to college…” (17:21)).
• Man Bites Dog/Scary Films:
  • Tangent about scary movies and how their wives cope (or don’t). Neil: “My wife loves scary films, except she hates them.” (21:29)

The Dream Menu: Neil Hannon’s Picks

[00:00-03:00] Still or Sparkling Water

• Choice: Still
  • “I’m not a sparkling personality… I run deep inside there.” (17:44)
  • Preference for Northern Irish tap water; London water is “chunky—bits in it like orange juice.” (19:19)

[23:14-26:00] Bread or Poppadoms

• Choice: White bread from Milanda Bakery, Derry/Londonderry
  • Served as in childhood: crustless, squished, played with alongside his brothers.
  • “My mum… just throws slices of white bread at us, you know, to get us away.” (23:14)
• Butter: Flora plant-based salted

[31:59-34:30] Starter

• Choice: The perfect orange—with a glass of sherry
  • Detailed (and poetic) requirements: easy peel, firm but juicy, not too sweet, minimal pith, and “satisfaction of peeling it perfectly.”
  • “The pith is like the negligee of the orange.” (34:40)
  • Drink: Harvey’s or Croft’s “A Winter’s Tale” sherry (36:00)

[39:52-42:15] Main Course

• Choice: “Christmas dinner” vegetarian version
  • “I was just trying to think, be honest about the time when I’m eating, when I’m at my happiest, and that’s during Christmas dinner…” (39:57)
  • Huge oval serving dish, focus on roasties, loads of vegetables (Brussels sprouts, parsnips, carrots), a Quorn roast “or, if possible, a massive lab-grown steak.” (41:20)

[47:03-49:33] Condiments

• Cranberry sauce, horseradish, mint sauce, bread sauce, English and Dijon mustard, Ballymaloo relish (“sort of like Branston, but sweeter…very good in sandwiches.” (47:24))
• Anecdote: Spectacularly failed at making bread sauce for the family, “saved” the sauce down the sink by accident. (47:52)

[49:36-50:09] Side Dish

• Wilted spinach with butter and garlic

[50:29-54:44] Drink

• “The finest wine known to humanity” – an £800 red, gifted by Neil Tennant at a fancy dinner.
  • “He said, ‘What sort of wine do you like?’ And I didn’t know. ‘I’ll get this one.’ And it was the greatest thing I’ve ever tasted in my life…” (50:37–51:51)
  • Wants Tennant (the Pet Shop Boys’ frontman) present and paying.

[56:22-59:41] Dessert

• Poached pears in wine, brown sugar, and cinnamon, with vanilla ice cream (gentle on his teeth).
  • Genie-made “dentures/turkey teeth” requested for enjoyment.
  • “So it’s poached pears…that I can eat with no pain.” (59:55)

Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes

Neil’s Incorrigible Honesty

• “I just don’t have strong feelings about food. This is great. Why am I here?” (18:05)
• On his food nostalgia: “I think that’s all I’m really ever looking for is nativity.” (58:46)
• On bands aging: “Just concentrate on quality. Doing the things you want to do—and doing them really quite well.” (13:18)

Trademark Banter

• [On playing with bread]
  “That would be nice…If my brothers were here as well…Fighting over bread in your 50s.” (24:15)

• [On rapping about middle-age] “Simply because they might be talking about things that meant something to me.” (17:11)

• [On breaking bad food habits] “I have a difficult relationship [with food]. Not because I want to eat it all…it’s just its route in to me past my awful teeth.” (10:25)

• [On culinary anxiety] “I never tried to cook again. I just, I learned my lesson. I’m so bad. Like, I can do a boiled egg…” (48:49)

• [On the National Express legacy] “People will usually say, ‘I was on that National Express the other day.’ Oh really? How was it?” (08:16)

Animal Rescue & Personal Life

Neil’s animal-filled home:

• 4 dogs, 2 turkeys, “endless piggies,” sheep, donkeys, ponies; ~170 animals at home (“Around us. Around the house. In our fields.” (57:46))
• Charity: My Lovely Horse Rescue (“…kept going by the wonderful donations of the Irish public.” (58:28))

Additional Highlights (with Timestamps)

• 13:04 – Insight on artistic independence with age
• 23:14 – Bread nostalgia and Derry memories
• 36:00 – Sherry preferences: “sweet, nutty—no dry fino”
• 41:19 – “A massive lab-grown steak” for a guilt-free Christmas
• 47:52 – Bread sauce disaster story
• 50:37 – Neil Tennant’s £800 wine
• 56:30 – Toast to “poached pears and genie dentures”
• 58:16–58:38 – Shoutout for My Lovely Horse Rescue

Final Menu Recap (64:33)

• Still water (Northern Ireland)
• White bread (Milanda Bakery, with plant-based salted butter, thrown by mum)
• The perfect orange (with a glass of sherry)
• Main: Vegetarian Christmas dinner—biggest plate possible, with roasties, vegetables, all condiments, and a sci-fi lab-grown steak if possible
• Side: Wilted spinach with garlic and butter
• Drink: Neil Tennant’s legendary, expensive red wine (with Tennant present)
• Dessert: Poached pears in wine, brown sugar, cinnamon, vanilla ice cream, and magic genie teeth

Tone and Atmosphere

• Warm, playful, self-effacing—Neil’s humility and the hosts’ quick wit make for a friendly, silly, and slightly surreal atmosphere
• Tangents abound, from pop star anxieties to bread-related physical comedy, via pet rescues and failing kitchen attempts

For Further Listening/Support

• Rainy Sunday Afternoon – New Divine Comedy album out September 19th
• Divine Comedy tour: October 2025, details at thedivinecomedy.com
• Animal rescue: Support My Lovely Horse Rescue
• Support Palestinian aid: allourrelations.co.uk

“If anyone can [find the perfect orange], Kathy can.”
— Neil Hannon (65:52)

No crisps and tea were combined in the making of this episode—Neil stays in the dream restaurant!