Will Sharpe

Summary

Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster – Episode Summary

Guest: Will Sharpe
Date: August 20, 2025
Main Theme:
Comedian, writer, director, and actor Will Sharpe enters the Off Menu restaurant to construct his dream meal, sharing anecdotes from his career, university days, and culinary experiences, with plenty of humor and warmth.

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Episode Overview

Will Sharpe joins Ed Gamble and James Acaster for a freewheeling conversation blending nostalgia, comedy memories, insights into food preferences, and the creative process. The episode is peppered with personal stories—particularly from Ed and Will’s past sketch group exploits—and digressions into Japanese cuisine and the construction of Will’s fantasy meal.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reuniting Old Friends: University Rivalries and Comedy Beginnings

• Ed and Will reminisce about their university days, clarifying the enduring joke about attending "Doxbridge"—a portmanteau of Durham, Cambridge, and Oxford (05:48).
• Discussion of their old sketch troupe, “The Four Horsemen”:
  • Core group: Ed, Will, Tom Williams (now a teacher), and Al Roberts.
  • Signature sketches involved surreal humor—e.g., making a cup of tea, pouring it down a toilet, eating Muller rice as the full gag, “Old Man the Rocker” who wears tights and a fake beard for comic effect (08:12).
  • "We had a hit sketch group… we’d have a show and go to your flat during the day… just messing around for ages, and one of us would go, that’s a sketch, that’ll do." – Ed Gamble (11:17)
• Both express nostalgia for the creative playfulness of their early days, noting how careers have diverged but camaraderie persists.

2. Food Preferences & Pet Peeves

"Uptight & Fussy" Restaurants

• Will appreciates good food but dislikes pretension; his 'barometer' for “too fussy” is when staff constantly refill water, disrupting conversation (12:49).
  • "[If] they refill your water for you... I like to be in charge of that…" – Will Sharpe (12:49)
• Both hosts and Will riff on awkward dining social etiquette, including how to deflect overattentive staff (13:32).
• Will enjoys simple pleasures: “I'm normally just tap,” for water, favoring the informality experienced in Japan (15:06).

"Bread Course": The Magic of Context & Hunger

• Will’s dream bread: Focaccia from Olympia Provisions, Portland, described as the most delicious ever—enhanced by exhaustion and hunger after a long American city walk (18:22).
  • "I got up… I was like, what’s going on with this bread? This is the best! And they were like, it's just focaccia" – Will Sharpe (18:24)
• The episode explores how setting (post-walk, travel) can elevate food memories.

"Starter": Deep-fried Fish in Greece

• Will selects “deep-fried small fish with lemon” (possibly gavros or sardines) as his ideal starter, again describing context—hungry after swimming, eating simple food on the beach (23:26).
  • Hosts banter about the joy of eating whole fish, bones and heads included, and squeeze in a comedic White Lotus reference.

3. Japanese Cuisine & Culinary Identity

Kaiseki-Inspired Main Course

• Will’s main: a personalized Japanese kaiseki-style tray—“multiple little dishes” both traditional (pickled daikon, cold soba with tempura, white fish, unagi, natto) and comfortingly nostalgic (Japanese cereals like Gemmai Flakes, “Combos,” and convenience store snacks like Koala biscuits and Hello Panda).
  • “I'm trying to hack it… can it be some nostalgic things, not just beautiful Japanese cuisine?” – Will Sharpe (32:06)
• The hosts interrogate Will for details on each dish, leading to a mixture of specificity and vague “go with what feels right” answers, much to their amusement (35:22).

Okonomiyaki, Kewpie Mayo, and Food Culture

• A lively discussion about okonomiyaki: pancake/omelette hybrids sometimes cooked at the table, topped with Kewpie mayonnaise and bonito flakes (41:03–43:05).
  • “Sometimes they cook it in front of you… it's like somewhere between a pancake and an omelette. Often there's noodles inside.” – Will Sharpe (41:19)
• Will and Ed geek out about Kewpie mayo branding and Japanese food mascots (44:23).

Snacks and Sweets

• Adds Japanese convenience store food (corn dogs, Koala and Panda biscuits), highlighting the spectrum from “perfectly prepared vegetables” to “downmarket, basic nostalgic pots” (46:55).

4. Sides & Sandwiches: The Comfort of the Club

• Will opts for a retro choice: the club sandwich from the Tokyo American Club (early ‘90s version), inspired by childhood bowling trips and renting VHS tapes (49:10).
  • Variations on “side dish” amuse the hosts, especially given the decadent size and caloric heft of a club sandwich after a kaiseki tray.
  • “This huge tray, then just a full-sized club sandwich… just because they’re good, aren’t they?” – Will Sharpe (49:17)
• Nostalgic digression: “Land Before Time” trauma and the “Sarah the Triceratops Redemption Arc,” tying childhood media to adult creativity (51:13).

5. Drink Pairing: Japanese Summer Vibes

• Dream drink: CC Lemon, a Japanese lemonade, described as “absolutely sugary and unrefreshing but amazing” after playing football on a humid day, with cicadas chirping (57:19).
  • Will and the hosts joke about zany Japanese ads showcasing “drinks with vitamins” (58:12).
• Hosts suggest a shandy, mixing CC Lemon with a cold Japanese lager, reminiscent of filmmaking trips with Tom Kingsley and discovering bars in the heat (59:20).

6. Dessert: Textural Punch & Sweet Nostalgia

• Will picks a trio:
  1. Flourless chocolate torte – “so dense I want to be punched in the face by chocolate” with matcha ice cream and berries (66:09).
  2. Grandmother's lemon tart with vanilla ice cream and magic "ice magic" (hardening chocolate) sauce—childhood memory from visits to England (68:02).
  3. Perfect fruit – “Japanese melon… the real deal” (69:15).
• Discussion on failed desserts: banana-misu (banana tiramisu), disastrous fridge cakes—Will owns his chaotic, last-minute improvisation skills in the kitchen (70:55).

7. The Joy (and Absurdity) of Eating On Camera

• Will shares the “acting choice” of eating as much as possible in a new Lena Dunham show—explains why eating, when done naturally, helps with character portrayal (76:23).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Bread and Context
  "It was the most delicious bread I've ever eaten… I became like Will Ferrell in Elf. I got up, went over to the counter, was like, what’s going on with this bread?" – Will Sharpe (18:24)
• On Getting Kicked Out for Secret Ingredient
  "If Will just says the secret ingredient… we will kick him out, Ed, and I hope you’ll be okay with that." – James Acaster (03:12)
• On Deep-Fried Fish
  "I just remember that being a really satisfying… it’s just a greasy bag of little fishes. And they're very crispy and then, like, it’s not too bonesy… crunch it away like crisps." – Will Sharpe (24:49)
• On Will’s Creative Approach
  “The context of eating is part of the experience… when you feel like [tired & hungry], sometimes bread is just the perfect food.” – Will Sharpe (19:22)
• On Kaiseki Choices
  "Normally they choose, but on this occasion I can sort of choose… that’s my pitch for how to approach this." – Will Sharpe (33:08)
• On Intense Chocolate Cake
  "I want it to be so dense I basically feel like I’m being punched in the face by the chocolate." – Will Sharpe (66:47)
• On Making Terrible Fridge Cake
  "Had no scientific knowledge, just melting down snacks and put it in the freezer. It was really bad. So sweet, you would faint from eating it." – Will Sharpe (72:54)
• On Sketch Group Absurdity
  "The sketch we chose to do in the middle of their set was called Bow… we’d come on and bow as if it was the end of the show… no laughter… my favorite thing we did." – Will Sharpe (78:53)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 05:48 – Doxbridge, University rivalry, formation of Four Horsemen
• 12:49 – “Too Fussy” dining, over-refilling water
• 18:22 – Magic Focaccia story (Olympia Provisions)
• 23:26 – Dream starter: deep-fried small fish in Greece
• 32:06 – Kaiseki meal, nostalgia vs. tradition
• 41:03–43:05 – Okonomiyaki, Kewpie mayo, Japanese food quirks
• 49:10 – Side dish: Tokyo American Club club sandwich
• 51:13 – “Land Before Time” & the Sarah Redemption Arc
• 57:19 – CC Lemon story, Japanese drinks
• 66:09 – Dessert: Flourless chocolate torte
• 68:02 – Grandma’s lemon tart & Ice Magic
• 70:55 – Kitchen failures: fridge cake, banana-misu
• 76:23 – Eating on camera & acting choices

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Summary Table: Will Sharpe’s Dream Meal

| Course | Selection & Description | |---------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------| | Water | Tap, “from the mountain wall” of the restaurant, cold & “special” | | Bread | Focaccia from Olympia Provisions (Portland, OR) | | Starter | Deep-fried small fish (gavros-style) with lemon (Greek holiday) | | Main Course | Kaiseki tray: pickled daikon, cold soba with tempura, tofu, white fish or unagi, natto, Koala/Hello Panda biscuits, Gemmai Flakes, Combos cereal, 7/11 snacks | | Side | Tokyo American Club club sandwich (lettuce, tomato, chicken, bacon, no cheese, triangle cut, toothpicks) | | Drink | CC Lemon shandy (Japanese lemon soda + Japanese lager) | | Dessert | Trio: flourless chocolate torte (with matcha ice cream & berries); Grandma's lemon tart (with vanilla ice cream & ice magic sauce); Japanese fruit (melon, strawberry, etc.) | | After-dinner | Digestif—Fernet Branca or similar bitter Amaro |

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Episode Tone & Style

• Casual, absurd, intimate, and loaded with comic diversions
• Plenty of playful teasing between James, Ed, and Will
• Vivid food memories paired with wry observations about the creative process, childhood, and the idiosyncrasies of eating (both in life and on camera)

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This episode offers a feast of personal and culinary nostalgia, sharp wit, and affectionate ribbing—a must-listen for fans of Off Menu and admirers of Will Sharpe’s unique comedic voice.

Transcript

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[James Acaster]

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[Will Sharp]

Hey, do you want to hear the next big new.

[Ed Gamble]

Tech podcast hit before anyone else, check.

[Will Sharp]

Out the daily tech news show Experiment Week. We're swapping out our normal shows to try out some new ideas. We've done this before and launched big hits like behind the Data, the Tech John and more. This year we have exclusive Android faithfulry.

[James Acaster]

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[Will Sharp]

It's all on the DTNS feed starting August 11th.

[Ed Gamble]

Don't miss it.

[James Acaster]

Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere acast.com.

[Ed Gamble]

Welcome to the Off Menu podcast. Taking a can of passion fruit and raspberry kefir water, opening it up and drinking it and your James Acaster. And that's what he's got a can of.

[James Acaster]

I'm literally sitting here drinking it now.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

This is the point we've come to. That is Ed Gamble. My name is James Acaster. Together we own a dream restaurant. Every single week we invite in a guest and ask them a favor. Ever start our main course, dessert side dish and drink. Not in that order. And this week our guest is Will Sharp.

[Ed Gamble]

Will Sharp, a wonderful actor, writer, director. He's done so many things.

[James Acaster]

Amazing man. Like I love him in White Lotus. I absolutely loved him in a real pain.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

And you have a history with Will Sharp.

[Ed Gamble]

Known him for many, many years. Don't know him as Will Sharpen him as Tom. Tom Sharp. You know, pretty crazy name change for that guy. But yes, excited to see him. Not seen him in a while. It'd be so nice to hang out and catch up.

[James Acaster]

Will I be a third wheel?

[Ed Gamble]

No, not at all.

[James Acaster]

During the catch up.

[Ed Gamble]

No, no, no. He might hate me. You never know.

[James Acaster]

I could hate you.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, he could hate me, wouldn't it?

[James Acaster]

Be the first guest. Yeah. But listen, even though you and Will are very good friends.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

If will just say the secret ingredient. We will kick him out, Ed. And I hope you'll be okay with that.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, I think he'd accept it.

[James Acaster]

Well, let's see this week, huh?

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. The secret ingredient is Lotus biscuits.

[James Acaster]

I've already said white lotus, so people can put that together.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

We could have just said white chocolate. That would have been funny. Just to go with the word white instead of lotus. Yeah, like a really tenuous one. But yes, Lotus biscuits. I mean, if anything, I think people do think that they're. They've had enough of Biscoff.

[Ed Gamble]

Certainly Biscoff. But no one really talks about the biscuits.

[James Acaster]

No, the OGs biscuits are pretty rubbish. Huh?

[Ed Gamble]

The biscuits are pretty rubbish. It's the sort of thing you'd see in like a conference room of a hotel.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah. In a little turns out seafood packet.

[Ed Gamble]

If you mash them all up into baby food. People. People absolutely love it.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, let's do it. More biscuits?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

There's a lot of biscuits that I love, but actually maybe if they were a spread, I'd love them even more.

[Ed Gamble]

Which biscuits are we thinking?

[James Acaster]

I think any biscuits. I reckon I would love it if they suddenly bought chocolate chip cookies out as a spread.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. So would I. I would.

[James Acaster]

I would spread that on stuff.

[Ed Gamble]

Chip off.

[James Acaster]

Huh?

[Ed Gamble]

You could call it chip off. Do you have to end it with.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, chip off the old block.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Oh, man.

[Ed Gamble]

Bourbon biscuits. Bourbon biscuits.

[James Acaster]

I would love that. I'd love custard cream spread.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, my God, I'd love custard off.

[James Acaster]

Custard off would be so better than cream.

[Ed Gamble]

Off is a name.

[James Acaster]

Off, man. I'd love all of these. Yeah, like that's it. Yeah. I wouldn't want digestives as a spread.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't know, man. It might work. And chocolate digestives would work. We shouldn't put this out.

[James Acaster]

Oh, yeah, we shouldn't. Don't release this.

[Ed Gamble]

We should pattern this.

[James Acaster]

We've got to pattern this. We got to make it a thing that we do this. We put this out because otherwise people going to do biscuit spreads.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And then we won't get any of that sweet dough for It.

[Ed Gamble]

Sweet Dough. That's what. That's what we're calling.

[James Acaster]

That's what the company's called.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

We should get on with the episode.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

This is the off menu menu of Will Sharpen. Welcome to the dream restaurant, Will.

[Will Sharp]

Hi.

[James Acaster]

Welcome, Will Sharp to the dream restaurant. But it's been here for some time.

[Will Sharp]

Hello.

[Ed Gamble]

That felt weird calling you, Will.

[James Acaster]

Why?

[Will Sharp]

Why?

[Ed Gamble]

Because I know him by all different names.

[Will Sharp]

Oh, yeah. All different names.

[James Acaster]

So you two have a history?

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Will Sharp]

Yep.

[James Acaster]

You went to university together, is that right?

[Ed Gamble]

No way. I couldn't get in there. I couldn't get in there.

[James Acaster]

You went to two different universities and Ed knew you because you were rivals.

[Will Sharp]

We were, yeah, we were, well, I guess comedy rivals. But sometimes we'd do stuff together.

[Ed Gamble]

Almost friends.

[James Acaster]

What uni's we talking here, Devon? From the man.

[Ed Gamble]

Doxbridge. We both went to Doxbridge.

[Will Sharp]

Doxbridge, yeah. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

That's disgusting.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

No, Will went. Will went to Cambridge and I went to Durham. But some people at Durham referred to Durham, Cambridge and Oxford as Doxbridge, which was pathetic. Who did that thing? Some real losers, I think.

[Will Sharp]

Mainly Ed.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah, me.

[James Acaster]

I mean me. Yeah. Also like Durham. Not getting many letters in there. No, I know you have.

[Will Sharp]

True. Proportional. It's proportional, yeah.

[James Acaster]

Oh, you went to Oxford.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah. That's cool. We did, yeah. So we'd meet Cambridge and then. And then after uni, we did like bits together, didn't we?

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Will Sharp]

Comedy bits.

[Ed Gamble]

We had a hit sketch group.

[Will Sharp]

We had a hit sketch group.

[James Acaster]

Let's talk about this hit sketch group.

[Will Sharp]

Oh, man.

[Ed Gamble]

Four Horsemen, it was called. I think we maybe did four shows.

[Will Sharp]

Four shows. And we kept trying to. We kept planning to do one on. What was it? Christmas Eve?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, Christmas Day, actually, if you're still on Facebook, you can probably find the invite to the event somewhere on Christmas Day.

[James Acaster]

So you were gonna do a Christmas Day gig. And who is the four of you? I mean, I'm guessing Nish is involved in this somehow. No, no.

[Will Sharp]

Although, actually, we did say another thing with Nish, which is sort of like, I was thinking about this. Cassidy was coming in. It was called something like the club for men who are not usual. And it was one of those, like, sitcom ideas that immediately. Immediately doesn't work.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

And we had like, I think like an old camcorder and filming stuff around this flat. And all I remember is there was some shoes in the fridge.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Will Sharp]

And Nish called his suit his 9 to 5 shield.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Will Sharp]

And immediately we're like, the point of these people is they do things that are not usual, but they're really boring.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Where does it end? Unsustainable.

[Ed Gamble]

I remember that there was a shot, like, one shot, where one of us, like, made a cup of tea from the beginning.

[Will Sharp]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Like, talking for ages about not being usual and then, like, walked to the toilet, poured it down the toilet and flushed.

[Will Sharp]

Oh, yes. Without much.

[Ed Gamble]

That's funny. That's a funny bit, but that's sort of.

[Will Sharp]

It was really funny for us.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, sure. Yeah. We had a laugh, didn't we?

[James Acaster]

It's a load of funny, nonsensical things, but after a while, I imagine for a viewer, it's maddening.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, there weren't any viewers apart from us. It didn't matter.

[Will Sharp]

I don't think we even cut it together, to be fair.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, that's a shame.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, I do have some old. Them Four Horseman sketches on a hard drive somewhere.

[Will Sharp]

Oh, my God.

[James Acaster]

Exciting. So who are the other two Horsemen?

[Ed Gamble]

Tom Williams, who's no longer in comedy.

[Will Sharp]

English teacher.

[Ed Gamble]

Teacher. And Al Roberts.

[Will Sharp]

Al Roberts, staff.

[James Acaster]

Let's flat. Yeah, I do know that is.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

You know, Al, it's funny to. After. After the Williams guy, to make out like I didn't know Al Roberts.

[Ed Gamble]

Have you done some other stuff since Without. Without me?

[Will Sharp]

I've done.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. You've been up to some stuff.

[James Acaster]

Do you feel guilty when you do stuff without Ed?

[Will Sharp]

I feel guilty when I listen to this podcast. I've. I felt, because so many times I should message Edge just to say I'm really enjoying it and I haven't really. I didn't really do that.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, I've not messaged you saying, I'm enjoying all your stuff.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, I suppose maybe that's how it works.

[James Acaster]

What happened with the Four Horse people? That means that you don't test each other anymore.

[Will Sharp]

I guess, like, we're just sort of got. Got busy in other ways.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, sidetracked. You know, you get sidetracked and then the sidetrack becomes your main track.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, yeah. There are other things, like swimming around in my head, but I'm like, we don't need to get booked.

[Ed Gamble]

Maybe come back to them later. Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

Do you ever find yourself on set filming something and thinking back to the days of panning around with this young whippersnapper?

[Will Sharp]

Do you know what? I do feel like there is a thing where no matter what the scale is of a project, this is a bit of an earnest answer, but, like, I feel like it does sort of feel like just hanging in a good. In a good way at its best, you're just kind of figuring stuff out with your mates and trying to make it funny or make it work or whatever. So I do sometimes think of that. And like, Tom Kingsley is another person I've worked with a lot in the past. I do think of those days sometimes. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Would you ever put, like, pitch an idea on set, like, if you were on an exciting project? But, you know, maybe the right joke here is flushing a cup of tea down the toilet.

[Will Sharp]

Maybe I'll try and work that in.

[James Acaster]

It's a good joke.

[Will Sharp]

I'll try and work it in. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Would you have to check with these guys?

[Will Sharp]

I think you'd be right with it. It would be like a little wink, you know, in the ether and see if. You know, see if they just spot.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, look, I officially give you permission to use anything from the club for men who are not usual.

[Will Sharp]

Men are usual.

[Ed Gamble]

If it's them for me stuff, you're gonna have to. You're gonna have to call me because at some point I do want to do the. The song of the Cowboys teaching kids how to count.

[James Acaster]

Oh, yeah, yeah, this sounds good.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, I can't.

[Ed Gamble]

I've got. I've got a video of it somewhere and I refuse to watch it because I look haunted.

[James Acaster]

In what way?

[Ed Gamble]

Well, it was back in my bigger days and I'd say I look like I'm wearing a fat suit in a 90s film and I'm very tired.

[Will Sharp]

I think we're all pretty tired. Yeah, we also. There was one sketch that we filmed which the only. We were just all eating Muller rice. We just got bought, like, 20 muller rice.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

And there was. The main theme of this sketch show seemed to be that there wasn't really a joke in any of the sketch. And so it was just. We were just eating Muller ice.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, that's good.

[Will Sharp]

I mean, it's all right.

[Ed Gamble]

What we'd do is we'd have a show and we'd go to your flat during the day. We just mess around for ages. And one of us would go, that's.

[Will Sharp]

A sketch that'll do.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Me with a fake beard on and then a tight over my head.

[Will Sharp]

Oh, old man.

[Ed Gamble]

Old man.

[Will Sharp]

Old man. The rocker.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, old man. The rocker.

[Will Sharp]

Old man rocking in a rock and roll band. Yeah, I'm an old man. I would play the guitar.

[Ed Gamble]

Clearly. Yeah. Smashing away on the guitar. I was clear. I think I'd had too much coffee and I was just, like, just running around with a Guitar and they were all like, that's great. That should go.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. That does sound great, though.

[Ed Gamble]

I've got a bus pass, but I'd take it to Wembley.

[Will Sharp]

You've got a pair of tights on your head. Yeah, that's it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Why were the tights look. Soon you look bold. So you're a bald old man.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, kind of. But it just looked so weird.

[Will Sharp]

It just made him look mental. Just squished your face up.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

And then you put a beard on top.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, it looks horrible.

[Will Sharp]

Very funny for us. Very funny for us.

[James Acaster]

I like old man in the rock and roll. Bad. This is good.

[Will Sharp]

Maybe at the end of this we'll see if we can find. Find paradise.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, Yeah. I could do it for the photo. We've got a photo afterwards. Aside from Muller, I see much of a foodie world.

[Ed Gamble]

Nice.

[Will Sharp]

I do like. I do like food. I think I'm sort of off that level where I appreciate it when it's good. But if it gets a bit too uptight and fussy, then it starts to sort of get on my nerves a little bit. So. But. And have less time. Like, having young children are like, less time to go out. But when we do manage to go out, I do enjoy it and I do eat quite a lot.

[Ed Gamble]

What's the ceiling for uptight and fussy? Do you have a meal that you've had where you're like, there we go, that's too uptight.

[Will Sharp]

I think like a quite good barometer is if they refill your water for you Is like quite like to be in charge of that.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Because also, like, you might be in conversation and you're just sort of getting into a flow and then suddenly it's like, oh, sorry, just going to stop for a second and then you sort of have to start again. So maybe that is a good barometer for it. I don't mind if it's a small amount of food on a big plate sometimes. Don't mind that.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Will Sharp]

That's okay.

[Ed Gamble]

As long as you're getting another.

[Will Sharp]

It looks like getting plate with a.

[Ed Gamble]

Small amount of food on it. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

But the water thing. So I always feel I want to say thank you every time.

[Will Sharp]

Exactly. You can't just be like, ignore that. You have to engage.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

So when people do ignore them. Oh, yeah, yeah. I can't see this person again.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

And sometimes you're catching up. It's like quite personal things you're talking about, so you have to just sort of be like, just Pause for a second. Do you know what I mean?

[James Acaster]

Anyway, thank you for my water.

[Will Sharp]

Thank you for. Oh, thank you very much.

[James Acaster]

No, you have to say thank you for my water every time.

[Will Sharp]

Is that your.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Just in case they think you're thanking them for something else.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, Yeah. I have to pay for the water, by the way.

[James Acaster]

I have to make it worse for them so they'd stop doing it.

[Will Sharp]

Right. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

So it's awkward for them that I keep saying thank you for my water.

[Ed Gamble]

You know, you can't just ask. I've said this on the podcast before. No, like, my dad at meals has been like, you can leave that there.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Oh, that's good.

[Ed Gamble]

I'll do that myself.

[Will Sharp]

Assertive.

[Ed Gamble]

All right. I'm sure they'll be happy with that as well.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, that's true.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. They won't care as long as you're polite to them. Just say, oh, don't worry. You can just leave that there and I'll sort it out. They'll be like, oh, great. But I, in my head, think they're going to go away and think, that was my whole evening. What do I do now?

[Will Sharp]

What do I do now?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, they're going to give you a small amount of spit on a big plate.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. There you go.

[Will Sharp]

Call it foam.

[Ed Gamble]

Foam's a good barometer as well. Right.

[Will Sharp]

It's quite. Yeah. If there's like an ingredient that's like, oh. Or you didn't notice it was. It had been. It's been turned into something too unusual.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

And you're always really looking forward to that. And now it's sort of a gas like that. I mean, sometimes it works, but occasionally you're like, I wish it was just what it is. Do you know what I mean?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah. I wish it was an egg and not.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah. But I'm not a complete, like, complete ignoramus.

[James Acaster]

No.

[Will Sharp]

Well, I don't think so.

[James Acaster]

Good to say at the top of the pot. Speaking of water, we'll start off with still sparkling water.

[Will Sharp]

I'm normally just tap.

[James Acaster]

Okay.

[Will Sharp]

And I quite like. For example, in Japan, where pretty much always as a default is there's just tap water because it's just like, less admin.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

So that's my default. It's just tap water.

[Ed Gamble]

Tap on the table.

[Will Sharp]

Tap on the table.

[James Acaster]

And are you having that cold? Are you having that just, like, as is?

[Will Sharp]

Yeah. Cold and.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Do you want water from Japan? Tap water from Japan?

[Will Sharp]

No, I. I quite like it when you guys imagine like that. There's some, like, perfect Spring, like, it'd be great if it was like, this is just water. But by the way, it's like. It's quite special. That'd be good.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Do you need it to use unusual water?

[Ed Gamble]

Do you need someone to tell you it's special?

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, I want to know that. It's like. Like, you know, come from a mountain.

[Ed Gamble]

Or like, this might help if you're. Maybe the mountain is like one wall of the restaurant and you're sat next to it. So you've got. You've got it coming in and then. And here's a question. When you fill it up from the mountain, are you thanking the mountain every time?

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Thank you for water.

[Will Sharp]

Good question. Maybe that's part of the, like, spiritual, I don't know, religious mores of the place. I love, though, how you were like, this might help. As if it was a really small thing. What if the wall of the restaurant is a mountain?

[James Acaster]

This. This might help.

[Ed Gamble]

This helps people sometimes.

[Will Sharp]

I don't mind it. Mountains are really big, though.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, that's true.

[Will Sharp]

I feel like the scale of it. I don't even know if it'll feel like a wall. It would just be like, let's go with it.

[James Acaster]

What's the biggest mountain you've been up?

[Ed Gamble]

Good question.

[Will Sharp]

I don't know, actually.

[James Acaster]

Well, bad answer.

[Will Sharp]

I'm sorry, I don't know.

[James Acaster]

Good question, bad answer. I've never said that to a guest before.

[Will Sharp]

I haven't skied in my life before. It's probably up one of those, but I don't know.

[James Acaster]

You are not prepared to put the biggest mountain in you.

[Will Sharp]

I genuinely don't know. I'm terrible at geography.

[James Acaster]

Bullshit. You don't know.

[Will Sharp]

It's probably this guy somewhere in the Rockies.

[James Acaster]

Probably the Rockies, Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

You've been up a mountain in Japan?

[Will Sharp]

I actually have never been up Mount Fuji. I've looked at it, but I've not been up.

[Ed Gamble]

We're not counting that. We can't have. What's the biggest mountain you've ever looked at?

[Will Sharp]

No, it's not what was asked, but I don't have. I don't have a factual response to that. Sorry. Nor a refill.

[Ed Gamble]

Say I don't have a riff for that.

[James Acaster]

I don't have a factual response or a riff. So you're gonna have to move on.

[Ed Gamble]

We're moving on. Do you want the mountain wall or are you struggling for a mountain wall?

[Will Sharp]

Let's go for it for now and then see, something might come of it.

[James Acaster]

You know, let's see problems or Bread problems or bread. Well, sharp lobs or bread.

[Will Sharp]

Oh, yes. Yeah, Bread. Probably bread, I suspect.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Take us through it. What's the bread?

[Will Sharp]

So there was a bread in Atlanta. Went on, like a west coast road trip with sophomore quite a while ago.

[James Acaster]

Who the hell is that?

[Will Sharp]

So it's my other half.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

And not Atlanta. Portland. Other side. Started off up there. Coming through Portland. And quite early on in the trip, how we like to sort of arrive in a city is basically just a walk around and. But you can't really do that in America. Didn't realize that I was quite sort of, let's say, over excited. So we walked a long way on this day. Found this place called. I think it was called Olympic Provisions in Portland somewhere. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And that's such a hipster restaurant name.

[Will Sharp]

It's quite a hipster restaurant.

[James Acaster]

Olympic Provisions.

[Will Sharp]

And they had, like a focaccia. And because we were so exhausted and so hungry, it was just the most delicious bread I've ever eaten. And I became like, sort of like Will Ferrell in Elf or something, where I was just kind of. I got up and also. But maybe because I was in America, I was like, I should behave like an American. I got up out of my seat, went over to, like, the counter where everyone was, like, cooking. I was like, what's going on with this bread? This is the best bre. And they were like, it's just focaccia. I was like, but you've done something to it. And they were like, is it the salt? And I was like, no, there's more. Anyway, we were remembering this place a few months ago, and I think it's just like a chain. It's like I'd gone into pizza express and ordered some garlic bread and been like, what is going on with it?

[Ed Gamble]

How are you guys doing this? You guys are magicians.

[Will Sharp]

So that's the best bread experience I've had.

[Ed Gamble]

And do you think, looking back on it, do you think the walk really was part of it?

[Will Sharp]

A lot of these are, like, seem to be dependent on basically, like, the context of eating. It is part of the experience or something. And so it was definitely. That was just like, so hungry and tired and. And I think when you feel like that, sometimes bread is just like the perfect food.

[Ed Gamble]

So for your dream meal, do you want to go for a really big walk beforehand? Maybe down the mountain?

[Will Sharp]

Maybe. Maybe go around the mountain once?

[James Acaster]

Hold on. I thought the wall was the mountain. You're walking up it as well.

[Will Sharp]

Going out, maybe going out?

[Ed Gamble]

Well, no, you could start on the mountain. Top of the mountain, walk all the way down into the restaurant.

[James Acaster]

Oh, I was imagining the mountain was flush to the. So it's just like a mountain wall. But you're saying you could walk up out of it still out of the restaurant.

[Ed Gamble]

There's a hatch in the top of the restaurant.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

There's a hatch. Like, looking lost.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, man.

[James Acaster]

Do you remember that? Do you remember when they found the hatch and lost.

[Will Sharp]

Didn't say it, didn't watch it.

[Ed Gamble]

I remember when they found the first hatch and then the whole season they found probably a hatch. An episode didn't.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. A lot of.

[Will Sharp]

They just kept finding hatch.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Because they didn't know where the story was going, so they kept adding hatches.

[Will Sharp]

So in the writers room, they just like, should we just chuck in another hat? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I'd imagine they had a little bell as well. Every time they added a hat.

[Will Sharp]

A hatch bell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess if there's some kind of, like, hunger involved, that definitely would make the bread more delicious.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you think?

[James Acaster]

Yeah. You're going to be really hungry. I can, as the genie, make you very hungry before every course of this.

[Will Sharp]

Amazing.

[James Acaster]

So that everything tastes that amazing.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah. But like a safe level of hunger.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I won't kill you.

[Will Sharp]

Thank you.

[James Acaster]

Also, I think there is something to like chains abroad when you, like, go in a chain that you've not been in.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

You really do appreciate it way more than the people who live there and are like, this is incredible.

[Will Sharp]

I think so. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Because you haven't had that particular thing before.

[Will Sharp]

Yes. New to you, so you're less, like, numb to it. And also, I guess you are sort of, like genuinely sampling the culture of the area in a way.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

So it's legit. I agree.

[Ed Gamble]

But have you ever had that embarrassing thing of then speaking to someone who's from that place and going, I went to this great place, say, Olympic Provision.

[Will Sharp]

I would have done that about this place. And they'd be like, oh, right. Yeah, I see.

[James Acaster]

Because you work with a lot of American actors now and you can really, like, go up to someone like, yeah, Will Ferrell ago, I was like, you an elf when I went to this amazing place called Olympic Provisions. Have you heard of it?

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

That is a shitty chain.

[Will Sharp]

That's a shitty chain.

[James Acaster]

You'll find from the film.

[Will Sharp]

There's this amazing place called Taco Bell. I don't know if you've heard of.

[Ed Gamble]

It, but that is exciting. Going to a place like Taco Bell that we Only hear about in films.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

You know.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, I don't mind that.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

That is exciting. I mean the first time I went to Taco Bells in San Francisco, it's very excited about it. I was walking to the Golden Gate Bridge.

[Will Sharp]

Did you enjoy it?

[James Acaster]

The Taco Bell or Golden Grapefruit? No, it was bad.

[Will Sharp]

But that's kind of good because it lives up to its.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. And I was with some America on my way walking there. I'd made some friends.

[Will Sharp]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

Who are also walking to the Golden Gate Bridge. But they were Americans.

[Will Sharp]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

And. And at one point they were like, we should get some food. I was like, I want to go. I want to experience a Taco Bell. And they laughed at me for a very long time.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And then went in with me to get Taco Bell. And then, you know, disappointed. I'm not happy.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

But what I do remember and I still think about this a lot. What are the gu. Went on Golden Gate Bridge. And at one point we looked down and there was a very small little kind of like hut, I guess right on the. On the stone by the water where clearly some like guy who works on the Golden Gate Bridge goes.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And one of the guys was. We're pointing at it and went, that's my house. And I really laughed for ages that it was his house. And I still think about it now. That's really funny. You said that was his house. Like I genuinely think it's funny.

[Will Sharp]

And it wasn't.

[James Acaster]

No, it was just a little.

[Ed Gamble]

Just for the humor, I guess.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, it was like. It was like a little shed by the. At the bottom of the Golden Gate Bridge by the water. I thought that's really funny. He said it was his house.

[Ed Gamble]

He probably thought you'd fall for it because you're the sort of guy who wants to go to Taco Bell.

[Will Sharp]

Right?

[James Acaster]

Yeah. So probably for this English guy. Oh, cool.

[Will Sharp]

Can we come around?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, I'll come over later tonight. Yeah. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

So close to the Taco Bell.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Can't wait. Your dream starter will, right?

[Will Sharp]

Maybe. I think it's called. Is it called Gav. Gavros or like basically sort of deep fried fishes?

[Ed Gamble]

Deep fried fishes?

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Ed, is yours been like this.

[Will Sharp]

That, that let me like a sort of frito misto. Just like deep fried fishes.

[Ed Gamble]

But these look like specifically like one fish. Right. Maybe they look like sort of sardines.

[James Acaster]

Well, as past Google images to Ed.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

It's Google imaged Gavros, I guess.

[Will Sharp]

Have a look at. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

So Greek.

[James Acaster]

There's Loads of little pictures. Deep fried what look like pilchards or sardines.

[Will Sharp]

I think that's more. Are they in anchovies? Oh, maybe it's not that then.

[Ed Gamble]

It's not that because frito misto. I'd think more like a sort of tempura style batter.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, well, I guess like some kind of deep fried small fish. I don't think it's anchovies, but I remember one time again, it's like it was on holiday with some friends and it was in Greece and it's like you've been in the sea that day and it's really hot. And again, you're probably quite hungry.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

And then I just remember that being like just a really satisfying, you know, just from calf kind of thing. But it's like just a greasy bag of little fishes. And they're very crispy and then like it's not too bonesy.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, but there are. The bones are in it. Right. And the heads are still on.

[Will Sharp]

And the heads are still on.

[Ed Gamble]

I love that you just crunch it away like.

[Will Sharp]

Like crisp. So it's like. Guess it's. Yeah, it is fish, but it's not like overwhelming.

[James Acaster]

That was salty.

[Will Sharp]

Pretty salty, I'd say. Yeah, pretty salty.

[Ed Gamble]

You squeezing lemon on the top.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

Was it hard on the holiday to like enjoy all the little fish with the knack in doubt that your wife had slept with your friend?

[Ed Gamble]

What?

[James Acaster]

Because you were suspicious and you were certain that your wife had slept with your friend in the hotel so you couldn't really enjoy the fish.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, I was eating them in a really contemplative, angry way. It's just like what the fish is, Roy. I don't know. Betrayal.

[Ed Gamble]

I think you should have warned all your friends you were gonna tug yourself off in that show. Man, I'm so excited. I'm so excited for you that you're in it. And then I pop it on enjoying myself. And then I'm like, oh, I did not need to see that.

[Will Sharp]

No apologies for the group email. Just as a heads up, I'm gonna tuck myself off in this show.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm really gonna go to town on myself.

[Will Sharp]

I know I haven't spoken to many of you for some years, but just as a heads up, I'm gonna tuck myself off in this show just in.

[James Acaster]

Case you're gonna watch it because lying on your side. Oh, yeah. Lying on your side, tugging yourself off.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

But yeah, you could have put that in the menu. Aren't usual. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Who lies on their side doing it like A painting?

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, like a painting.

[James Acaster]

Luckily, this is the first time Will and I have met, so when I saw that, I just like, this is brilliant.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

You look. I didn't know you. I didn't know you, so I was like, go for it. Go on, lad.

[Will Sharp]

Go on, lad.

[Ed Gamble]

Go on, lad.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, that's what I've said.

[Ed Gamble]

Have you?

[James Acaster]

Out loud, when I was watching that scene.

[Will Sharp]

Go on, lad.

[Ed Gamble]

I keep getting served a video on YouTube shorts of. It's like a ring, camera, doorbell thing.

[Will Sharp]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Of an old Jehovah's Witness ringing the doorbell. And from that Yorkshire, he's like, oh, it's Jehovah's Witness. And the guy on the other end of the doorbell goes, just having a wank at the moment, mate. And the guy pauses and then goes, all right, good lad. So many times I've watched that.

[Will Sharp]

Amazing.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. You're from Yorkshire.

[Will Sharp]

No, I'm not.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, you are. I saw a film. You were from Yorkshire.

[Will Sharp]

Oh, yeah.

[James Acaster]

From Yorkshire. In real pain.

[Will Sharp]

Oh, yeah. Sheffield.

[James Acaster]

You can't deny it.

[Ed Gamble]

See, this. This is the sort of interview style that we need to talk about.

[James Acaster]

What?

[Ed Gamble]

Where you.

[James Acaster]

He was talking to me about this.

[Ed Gamble]

Before you got here, where we have actors on. And then you go. You're in that. And they go, yeah. And then you don't follow it up with anything.

[James Acaster]

Why should I have to?

[Will Sharp]

It's good segues, though. He's spotting.

[James Acaster]

He knows more about Ohlins. He knows more about.

[Ed Gamble]

The links are perfect. But he's never a question.

[James Acaster]

I've teed him up. Okay, here's the thing about that film. I think the funniest line in that film genuinely, is when you say, thank you, David.

[Will Sharp]

Oh, thank you.

[James Acaster]

I feel so funny.

[Will Sharp]

Thank you.

[James Acaster]

I went to. I went to a screening of that film where Jesse Eisenberg did a Q and A afterwards and talked about you at length and how much he likes you. And then he said that that line was improvised, and it blew my mind. Was it improvised?

[Will Sharp]

It was kind of improvised. It was like, basically, the joke was built into the scene that I gave Kieran Culkin's character a much more heartfelt goodbye. And it wasn't scripted that I said anything to Jesse, which I thought was a bit weird. So I just thought, but I should probably do not very much so that the joke still carries. So, like, the joke was in the scene. And it was also. I think it was the last. We're really running out of time. And so it was like, we only have time to do one take of This. I was like, well, shoot your shot, I guess. And I think afterwards he was like, that was so funny. I don't think he will make it in the film. Cause it's too silly.

[James Acaster]

Oh, really?

[Will Sharp]

But he sort of came around.

[Ed Gamble]

I've not seen it yet, but I've just checked now because I can chat with you now. Do you tug yourself off in it?

[Will Sharp]

I don't know. Great.

[Ed Gamble]

I'll watch it tonight.

[Will Sharp]

About like a Holocaust tour.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

He's there. He's a tour guide. He's in a professional capacity.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

There's absolutely no way.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. No time. No time to tug yourself off.

[Will Sharp]

No, no, no.

[James Acaster]

Even if you improvised it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Iceberg episode is probably not gonna make it.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, I don't think that.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, that will make it in.

[Ed Gamble]

Will.

[James Acaster]

But thank you.

[Ed Gamble]

I did. Gotta shoot my shot.

[James Acaster]

Seen that film three times.

[Will Sharp]

What?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah. Really like it some.

[Ed Gamble]

For the rest of us, buddy.

[James Acaster]

Laughed out loud at that line. All three times. Actually, the third time I got home, literally the other day, and my partner was watching it, and she's from up north. So the first week, she said, is he from Yorkshire? I was like, yep. And then. And then I was. I was upstairs and I. I heard that that scene was coming up. So I literally stopped on the landing to listen to it for the landing to see if she'd laugh at. Thank you, David. And she did. And I was like, and I'll shout it down. Good line in it. So that's good. He improvised that. Jesse Eisenberg said it at the Q A tomorrow to double check.

[Ed Gamble]

James and his partner live completely separate.

[Will Sharp]

Lives when they're at home just shouting.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Each other.

[Will Sharp]

Across the. Across the fact.

[James Acaster]

That's the way I like it.

[Ed Gamble]

Good night.

[James Acaster]

Love you. Good night. Love you. Don't cheat on my me with my friend.

[Will Sharp]

It's a weird thing where. So it's obviously shot in Poland and the amazing, like, Polish crew, but the sound guy was from Sheffield and had just moved to Poland. And so, like, the day before, I'd been chatting with Jesse about maybe I could do it in this kind of voice to sort of soften him up a bit and make him a bit more of, like, Brian Coxie. And he was like, oh, yeah, that's great. Let's do that. And then on the next day. On the first day on set was this guy from Sheffield. I was like, it's perfect. You can just keep an eye on it. It's like a weird coincidence.

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[James Acaster]

Dream main course.

[Will Sharp]

Right, this is where it gets a bit silly.

[James Acaster]

Okay, so we like silly here.

[Ed Gamble]

We're silly guys.

[Will Sharp]

I was trying to think of like, I've got some ones like kind of that I've discounted because they felt sort of bit boring or something.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

And then I was like, is this allowed? So what, what I'm trying to think is, you know, like Japanese kaiseki meals.

[James Acaster]

I don't know that.

[Will Sharp]

It's like a kind of multi course meal where basically like, I don't know what the actual Japan like what the actual structure is, but like there's often like one that is specific to the season and then one that's grilled and one that's, I don't know, like pickles or something. And I was trying. Is that allowed? Because it's like many different.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Because it comes on like one. One tray basically though, doesn't it?

[Will Sharp]

Sometimes. Yeah. So I was trying to think maybe something like that. I was trying to think of something that was. I've got also just what I would choose if I had to pick one Japanese main course as well. But I was thinking maybe this way. And I was also thinking, is there a way to hack it where some of it could be like less sort of, you know, beautiful Japanese cuisine and just kind of like nostalgic things that I remember like sort of more basic.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Because I think if you go for a kaiseki sort of style thing.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Then you've got the, you know, multiple little dishes.

[Will Sharp]

Little dishes. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Then what goes in those dishes is up to you.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, yeah. So you can have normally they choose. But on this occasion I can sort of choose. Right, that's the choice.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Will Sharp]

So that's my pitch for how to approach this.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Pitch accept, does it?

[Will Sharp]

Thank you, guys. Yeah, thank you.

[James Acaster]

I think you can have one of those trays.

[Will Sharp]

Okay. One of those trays. And I do like, I do like that. And often I don't actually know what I'm eating.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

So. And sometimes it's kind of like some kind of tofu based situation with some like seasonal vegetables that have been pickled. Like I do like those little tiny dishes and you're. I don't know what this is, but it's. It sort of wakes you up and it feels really refreshing. So some of those things, you know, like, no idea. But I also, I was thinking like there was. There's a couple of cereals that you can only get in Japan. Like there's one called Gemma Flakes which is almost a bit like Special K, but it's a bit different. And you can only say anytime we go back to Tokyo, be like, gotta get a box of Gemmae Flakes. And there was also a Kellogg's one which had, I'm pretty sure has been discontinued, which was called Combos. And it was like Frosties, but on it was tiny little speckles of chocolate. Like tiny little like poppy seed size. And the mascot for it was a. Was like a light blue gorilla.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

And Combos. Delicious. But you can't get anymore.

[Ed Gamble]

So maybe Tony the Tiger was pissed off when that happened. You're like, it's basically. Well, I still think that's great.

[James Acaster]

Well, Tony looks more like a tiger.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, Tony Tiger's one. He stood the test of times.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, he has one.

[Will Sharp]

So maybe like also could be like some little bowls of things like that.

[Ed Gamble]

So a couple of little bowls of the cereal. Again, my Flakes and the Combo, you.

[Will Sharp]

Know, more serious, like pickled daikon and the bits and bobs. And there's normally like a. I don't know, just like a grilled fish or, or something or like just tiny bit of meat. Do you know what I mean?

[Ed Gamble]

Do you have specifics of the sort of fish that you'd like to see on here?

[Will Sharp]

No.

[James Acaster]

You have got an. You've got notes on your phone. So you have prepared for this, but it's still the vaguest menu.

[Will Sharp]

Well.

[Ed Gamble]

I'll be interested to see what you've actually written down because a lot.

[Will Sharp]

Of it is things I'm not.

[James Acaster]

How many times have you written the word sort of?

[Will Sharp]

There's Question marks. Which I guess is like, if you're not sure. Oh, cold sobber. Yeah, that was. That was gonna be. If I had to just pick one. If this was disqualified. I was trying to have too many things I was gonna have. Again, carrying on in the. It's hot weather. Cold soba noodles. Yeah. With like some nori, some tempura, that kind of thing.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

But that could be a part.

[Ed Gamble]

You can put that on. You have a little bowl of sort of like.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah. Sort of like layman's.

[Ed Gamble]

And that is great because it gives us something specific to go on this tray.

[Will Sharp]

What kind of fish would be good? I guess a white fish.

[Ed Gamble]

A white fish. Yeah. Or an eel.

[Will Sharp]

It's probably. Yeah. Unagi, maybe.

[James Acaster]

Just think, that's my favorite.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't want to influence you.

[Will Sharp]

But you know what it is? I think it's because normally with this kind, you don't have to choose. That's part of it is that it just comes.

[James Acaster]

You like having to choose.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, I do like that.

[Ed Gamble]

But just to let you know, if you hand over to the power to us, God knows what's going to be on that train. For example, Dinero found that out.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Well, Ed will be getting the revenge for not being warned about the tugging off.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

It'd be like. I'm not gonna warn you about this tugging off, then straight in the tray.

[Will Sharp]

Do you remember when we were driving back to London from Bristol and in a slightly Omar cassette way, I was like, oh, do you want to make a playlist for the drive back?

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, no.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

What was Ed's playlist?

[James Acaster]

Oh, there'd be horrible metal.

[Will Sharp]

It was a track from the Count from Sesame street had an album of counting songs. 15 tracks from that album, but all of them the same track.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, I don't remember that, but, God, I'm a laugh. God, I really. I'm so happy I've maintained level of humor. That's exactly what I do now.

[Will Sharp]

I mean, it was funny, to be fair.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.

[Ed Gamble]

But now on Talk, like.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, culling. The equivalent of that coming my way.

[James Acaster]

And is it just the Count counting for the whole song as well?

[Will Sharp]

Every. Yeah, all of them. He's counting in different ways and, like, different genres. But it's just one track.

[James Acaster]

Just one song.

[Will Sharp]

Fifteen times. Or maybe there was like one. One actual sort of music track that you put on to Misdirect.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, that's funny.

[Will Sharp]

And then after that, it was 15 from Sesame Street. Great.

[Ed Gamble]

That's good stuff. I still do that sort of thing. On tour now.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Yeah. He's found himself a tour manager who absolutely loves being treated like that.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Wait till he goes to the Starbucks drive through and then put on Crazy Frog at full volume.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Love that. Of course the Tequila song. Of course the.

[James Acaster]

And also the. Yeah. Editor manager seems to forget the crazy frog prank because I've been in the car. Because he did the Off Menu tour as well. And I knew that this had happened to him repeatedly. Yeah, I'd heard about that. And every time he stopped at a drive through, Ed would do it, but it would genuinely take Paul by surprise who couldn't believe it had happened.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

As if that was the first time.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Every time was like, oh, no, I'm trying to order my coffee and crazy.

[Ed Gamble]

Frogs play and crazy frog's great.

[Will Sharp]

Why you keep doing it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. I do think I'm gonna try and do a sort of write a long read for the Guardian about reappraising the crazy frog because I think everyone hated it at the time. Right. But listening back to it, it's really funny.

[Will Sharp]

It's aged well.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I think all the snobs like us, let's face it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Back in the day did it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And now we're appraising it. But all the people who liked it originally, which was a lot of people.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

They're over it now.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

It's like the other day I did that with Gangnam Style.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, you.

[James Acaster]

And I was like, this is good. Yeah, this is a good.

[Ed Gamble]

Sounds great. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

But at the time, I was like, shut up. You guys have a bunch of idiots. The world is stupid. We're going to hell. And now I'm like, you need a distance. Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

It's a good track.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

So we're not letting Ed choose what's in this.

[Will Sharp]

You can. I mean, natto is good.

[James Acaster]

What's up?

[Will Sharp]

You know, like the little. So it's like tiny little soybeans. My kids call them spiders webs because they get street. You know the one I mean, Gooey. It was actually on. I think it was on Celebrity Get Me out of here.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

As when people started complaining about, can you stop eating living things? They put that on as, like, the most disgusting thing you could imagine. And everyone was eating it like, I'm gonna die. But it's. I like it. I think it's.

[Ed Gamble]

I think just texturally, it's. There's nothing in Western cuisine that is equivalent to natto fair because it's, like slimy and gooey and you put it just stretches Forever.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah. It's really long strings of. I don't even know what that is.

[Ed Gamble]

There's always something gooey on a kaiser. Because I've had other things that, like, green, sort of.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Like you just. You're like, I don't know what this is.

[Will Sharp]

Green. I don't know what this is. Yeah, Put that in there.

[Ed Gamble]

Write that down. Bonito.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah. And yeah, there's often like. Yes. Just some kind of little piece of beef. Really delicious beef okonomiyaki. That's good. Maybe have an okonomiyaki. Probably wouldn't normally be in a Coke, but I just like it.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

It's like maybe I've got.

[James Acaster]

I've never known how to say. I think I've said it different every time.

[Will Sharp]

How do you say it now, even.

[James Acaster]

Though I've just heard you say it.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And I know this is wrong.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I would then say economy yaki, and I know that is not right.

[Will Sharp]

That's really good.

[James Acaster]

That's not right.

[Will Sharp]

That's basically right.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. I think there's a whole other syllable in there.

[Will Sharp]

When you said it, you said every syllable. Okonomiyaki.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't think you did all very well.

[James Acaster]

I don't think I did.

[Ed Gamble]

You didn't nail the R. No.

[Will Sharp]

I think you did it really well.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you want. Do you want a bit of a big okonomiyaki or do you want a tiny little one?

[Will Sharp]

I think small, because that's part of the fun is, like, you get lots of little things to try. I think there's one more thing. Oh, so this is like.

[Ed Gamble]

Can we speak about okonomiyaki for a bit?

[Will Sharp]

So. Yeah, that's the point. In the podcast.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

No, no, no. The point is that we let the guest lead.

[Ed Gamble]

I love it.

[Will Sharp]

I think it's great. Sometimes they cook it in front of you, don't they?

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

With it on a little hot plate in front of you at the table.

[Will Sharp]

How do we describe it? It's like somewhere between a pancake and an omelette.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Often there's noodles inside. Spring onions.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you like it with all the noodles inside and stuff?

[Will Sharp]

I don't mind that. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm not a fan of. So that's more like Osaka style, I think, with, like, loads of stuff.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And I. I don't mind the noodles, but I like. I quite like it when there's, like, cheese and pork on it and stuff.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah. You can have that at the same time.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. On a massive dirty one in Kyoto.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I would make it as dirty as you possibly can.

[Will Sharp]

Do you enjoy it just a bit. Just a bit. Those dry fish. All of these things sound disgusting when you say them in English. Yeah, it works like dry fish flakes.

[James Acaster]

Bonito flakes.

[Will Sharp]

Oh, my God.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Bonito flakes.

[Will Sharp]

Your flakes.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Another discontinued cereal.

[James Acaster]

He was on the box. Blue. Blue bonito.

[Will Sharp]

It was just shaving.

[Ed Gamble]

That's why it failed that guy's dry skin.

[Will Sharp]

And, yeah, it normally comes with some kind of, like, Worcestershire sauce, bulldog sauce, tonkatsu sauce and kewpie mayo. Kewpie mayo.

[James Acaster]

Because I'd had it in England before, and it's making fun of you, but when I had it in Kyoto, they squirt that bottle from really far away.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

He held the bottle so far away. And I was. I was sitting behind this thing.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I was like, are you kidding me, brother? You're gonna get it all over me. And then what does the rest of my day look like?

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

But he just. Just completely. On the pancake, did he have the multiple nozzles? I. I don't know. I mean, I think my adrenaline was so high.

[Ed Gamble]

I love the double nozzle.

[Will Sharp]

I've never seen that.

[Ed Gamble]

You've never seen the double nozzle? I think even when you buy kewpie mayo, they sell you. They sell it to you with a spare nozzle.

[Will Sharp]

Oh, okay.

[Ed Gamble]

You can get a double nozzle because, you know, when they, like, proper. Go for it on the okonomiyaki.

[Will Sharp]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Like, it's like loads of. Yeah. Double lines.

[Will Sharp]

Interesting.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

That's like, with tapan teppanyaki. The Trixie.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Like an amazing. Like some of the chefs. It's like a circus.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Flipping eggs everywhere.

[Will Sharp]

Chucking eggs.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Will Sharp]

Lands perfectly on the pan.

[Ed Gamble]

Onion volcano.

[James Acaster]

I did one of those in a little secret little room. I didn't see a little teppanyaki room. It's just me and my partner and then these two businessmen and. Felt a bit pervy.

[Will Sharp]

Right?

[Ed Gamble]

They did or you did?

[Will Sharp]

You guys did? You felt?

[James Acaster]

I felt. I felt like I'd gone into a little perv den. Because, like.

[Ed Gamble]

Right.

[James Acaster]

The businessman.

[Ed Gamble]

Is this in Japan? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

But men in suits in, like, one o' clock in the afternoon drinking beers.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

In a little dark room. Feels a bit seedy. And we were all just watching this chef doing all the food, and I was like, is this. Am I a pervert?

[Will Sharp]

Felt pervy watching the cooking.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it felt just. The businessman threw me off.

[Will Sharp]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

The businessman looked like those guys would normally be in a strip club.

[Will Sharp]

That's like a sort of Darren Brown experiment where it's like, I'm gonna make James Acaster find cooking.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Perfect.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, perfect.

[Will Sharp]

Put in the environment.

[Ed Gamble]

James grew up religious, so basically anything he does, he feels guilty and pervy.

[James Acaster]

Yes. I have to avert my eyes for most things.

[Will Sharp]

Okay, fair enough.

[James Acaster]

It was very, very gross.

[Ed Gamble]

Kewpie mayo. I love it. I'm so glad you can get it here. Now what? I love the little baby on the kewpie mayo.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

One of my favorite mascots.

[Will Sharp]

Not for James.

[Ed Gamble]

Not for James.

[James Acaster]

I wouldn't be looking at that.

[Ed Gamble]

But what I feel sad about is when you take it out of the plaque because it comes in a plastic bag. You take the mayo out, it's completely blank bottle. The baby doesn't get a look in.

[Will Sharp]

Fair enough.

[Ed Gamble]

Why is the baby not on the bottle?

[James Acaster]

That's a shame.

[Will Sharp]

I thought they were on the bottle.

[Ed Gamble]

No, I think they're just blank bottles.

[Will Sharp]

Okay, well, look it up. Maybe you're getting, like, bootleg.

[Ed Gamble]

I might be getting bootleg kewpie, but it's good.

[Will Sharp]

It's like, a bit more like salad cream, isn't it? It's on the way to it.

[Ed Gamble]

It's richer.

[Will Sharp]

It's not all the way to salad cream, but it's not quite as clean as. As your Hellman's or whatever. Your mayonnaise of choices.

[James Acaster]

Well, I think this is very good.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a cult.

[James Acaster]

Is it allowed, main course? Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Cool. Okay.

[Will Sharp]

Thank you.

[James Acaster]

You would. You would. You would have it as one course?

[Ed Gamble]

I love the cereal on there.

[Will Sharp]

Pardon me?

[Ed Gamble]

I love the cereal on there as well. Yeah, yeah, it's nice.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah. And snacks. Probably a few just, like, snacks, Japanese snacks. Just chuck them on there.

[Ed Gamble]

Which Japanese snacks? You know, every time you suggest something, we are gonna. We are gonna ask you for specifics.

[James Acaster]

I'll just keep saying whatever.

[Will Sharp]

Koala nomachi. Do you remember? Well, you weren't eating it there. Biscuits.

[Ed Gamble]

Right.

[Will Sharp]

Tiny koala biscuits. Like, biscuit on the outside, a little bit of chocolate on the inside.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, okay. So.

[Will Sharp]

Or acorns. There's also acorn equivalents, that kind of thing.

[Ed Gamble]

Because isn't there, like, a frog version as well of those?

[Will Sharp]

Maybe. I don't remember that.

[Ed Gamble]

But what are the ones called that we get here quite a lot? Are they. They koala ones? Look it up.

[James Acaster]

That's bonito that Ed is talking to.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Or convenience store stuff.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Like an American dog from a convenience store.

[James Acaster]

I was just lived in the center of that.

[Ed Gamble]

You do know what I mean?

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, he knows like corn dog.

[Ed Gamble]

They sell them at the Pleasant Shop in Edinburgh.

[Will Sharp]

What frog? Japanese frog chocolates.

[Ed Gamble]

Maybe they are just the koala ones.

[Will Sharp]

Maybe you saw it was a frog. But they were koalas.

[Ed Gamble]

They're not koalas.

[Will Sharp]

They're not koalas.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, no. I've lost my mind. But you want some of those?

[Will Sharp]

Yeah. I mean this tray is getting pretty big.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

But yeah, a mixture of quite down market basic nostalgic little pots.

[Ed Gamble]

7 11.

[Will Sharp]

711 y supermarkety things. And then also some of the. More like a lot of care and attention. And you know, they've literally just picked this root vegetable off the mountain that is the wall of the restaurant and prepared it perfectly. Mixture of that.

[Ed Gamble]

That's nice.

[Will Sharp]

High and low. Kaiseki tray, please.

[James Acaster]

Are your dream sides in there or is your dream side something different?

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, no, she's panicked.

[Will Sharp]

Oh, God.

[James Acaster]

I'll tell you what.

[Will Sharp]

Oh, there's too many.

[James Acaster]

Speaking of sides. We know what this guy likes to do in his side. Remember when you talked yourself off Aubrey Plaza caught you.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, I do remember.

[James Acaster]

She caught you, man.

[Ed Gamble]

She caught you.

[James Acaster]

That must have been embarrassing. Yeah. Did they tell you that was going to happen?

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, it was in a script. What I remember about that was going into it. I remember thinking this would be so funny. It's such a funny scene. I mean, I guess for you guys it was funny as we were sort of rehearsing, it was like, just play it completely straight.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

You know.

[Will Sharp]

No, and. And so then suddenly you feel really vulnerable.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

[Will Sharp]

But I think it did make it better. It basically made it like the Tensor. But going in, I was like, oh, it's gonna be so fun. And then it was just really, like tense and uncomfortable. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Oh, it must be horrible to film it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

I mean, it's really funny because you've played it straight.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Because then it's more believable. Really funny.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

But like. Yeah, I would have been. I imagine in the moment it would have been way easier for you just to.

[Will Sharp]

You know, there are some takes place.

[James Acaster]

Silly.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah. In the rushes where when she catches me, I'm doing full, like Mr. Bean tumbles off the bed and like. And then sort of like standing up, kind of trying to recover from it and sort of, you know, stuttering about porn. And he was like, I don't really need that.

[Ed Gamble]

We've got that now.

[Will Sharp]

Could just be caught doing it. And just kind of.

[James Acaster]

Was that as embarrassing, receiving a note like that when you've gone that Big.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

As getting caught wanking.

[Will Sharp]

No, it was all right. It was part of process, innit? But no, it was like fair play. Yeah. That is better. Right side dish. What am I thinking? I've got like options here. I was thinking of maybe just going for a club sandwich.

[James Acaster]

I love this.

[Ed Gamble]

This huge tray and then of tiny little plates and then just a full size club sandwich.

[Will Sharp]

Just because they're good, aren't they?

[James Acaster]

They are good. Like, they're really good.

[Will Sharp]

If you can't. If you're like, I don't know what often, if that's there, that's quite a good choice, isn't it?

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

As a default.

[Ed Gamble]

That is. That is a choice of someone who ends up in hotels quite a lot.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Late night hotel.

[Ed Gamble]

Late night hotel. Got to get up early this morning, don't want to go out.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Club sandwich.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. If you're lucky and you got in late and they're only doing sandwiches.

[Will Sharp]

They've got one.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Because almost I need sandwiches. It's just the cold sandwiches and they're not great, but sometimes.

[Will Sharp]

Or it's like a ham and cheese panini that was hot 20 minutes ago.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

But by the time it gets you.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, you don't want anything.

[Ed Gamble]

Club sandwiches is a classic, isn't it?

[James Acaster]

Club sandwich is just like, you feel so happy when you order it, but then when you finished eating it and it's midnight.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

You are like, what the am I doing?

[Will Sharp]

I don't think I'm gonna eat it at midnight.

[Ed Gamble]

No. I think meal time.

[Will Sharp]

The context I had for it was more like I was actually thinking of again, like I was still in Japan. There was a place called the Tokyo American Club where you could like go bowling and stuff. They had like a system where you could flip through these Rolodexes and then. And then get a VHS to rent. You know, be like, oh, land before time. Please, can we rent that one, please? Things like that.

[James Acaster]

What a film.

[Will Sharp]

Such a good film, isn't it? Brutus, Sarah, the Triceratops.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. I mean, that my.

[Will Sharp]

Right.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

It's pretty brutal, that film. I remember, I think it's one of the first films I saw in the. In the cinema.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Whatever kid I was with cried so much had to be taken out.

[Will Sharp]

Oh, my God.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, it is. It is heavy going and you're a kid, you get really attached to all those characters. Yeah. And I still think, because after that film, I drew a lot of cartoons as a kid. I liked drawing cartoons. I'd always draw little gangs, like that. Base it on that. Yeah. A different animal. Yeah, A different animal each time, but like a cat gang. All different cats. And now I've.

[Ed Gamble]

You've got a cat now.

[James Acaster]

I've done that. Yeah. In my life, I've got four cats that. All different brains. And I think it's because of Land Before Time.

[Will Sharp]

Can we see some of these pictures that I drew? Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I don't know if my parents have gone.

[Will Sharp]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

I'd have to check in on them. Doubt it. Probably throwing them away.

[Will Sharp]

I'd be interested, but they probably got.

[James Acaster]

Thrown away on the day.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

I remember Sarah the choice. She's the one who's really grumpy and sort of, like, is exiled from the group because she's being too grumpy. And then there's like a bit in it where she basically saves all her mates. And that's, like, for me, I feel like that's the archetype of the sort of redemption arc of, like, the thing that will automatically get me is if somebody has kind of somehow exiled themselves by being grumpy or, like, making mistakes or whatever, and then they show their true colors. And so I always think of Sarah the Triceratops when I'm writing weirdly.

[James Acaster]

Although sometimes I'm gonna.

[Will Sharp]

Sarah Triceratops.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And then. Classic Sarah the Triceratops.

[James Acaster]

I agree with you for the most part.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah. Apart from.

[James Acaster]

And then sometimes they do that where the writer is clearly excusing whatever bad traits they have.

[Will Sharp]

But don't worry about those, because later.

[James Acaster]

When they save everyone's life.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

So, yeah, I just.

[Ed Gamble]

Because I'm just going to keep doing this in my life and then eventually I'll be fine.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. That's that.

[Will Sharp]

So it's like a cover. The redemptive act is a cover for stuff. It's like, just because, you know those things are bad doesn't excuse them. And just because you did something good, it doesn't excuse the bad things. Yeah, yeah, I understand what you mean.

[James Acaster]

That Gran Torino film, like, that is.

[Ed Gamble]

Like, horrible, racist old man.

[James Acaster]

Horrible, racist old man all the way through. But at the end, he saves the people that he's been racist to and.

[Will Sharp]

Oh, that's different.

[James Acaster]

And he dies in a Jesus pose.

[Will Sharp]

That's different.

[James Acaster]

And you're like, that's not Sarah the Triceratops.

[Will Sharp]

No. They needed triceratops.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

That's what they needed.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I've not seen Lamba full time for a while. Is Sarah the Triceratops is horribly racist as well.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Be honest and Then she saves the people. She's been racist.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah. Fucking velociraptors.

[James Acaster]

Stuff about the old velocities.

[Will Sharp]

Anyway, it could be from there. Sandwich could be from there. Or put, like, hot dog down as an alternative. And then in brackets with question mark. Did you ever go to that place called Singbury?

[James Acaster]

No.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Will Sharp]

In. It's in Leytonstone, where I lived for a long time.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, sir.

[Will Sharp]

And it sort of became way too popular because Timeout. And now, I think. And they're always closing down, but they never did. And now they've moved.

[Ed Gamble]

They've moved to Shoreditch. I don't think they're open yet, but it's a phenomenal restaurant. They are incredible. But it was basically the chef and his mum in the kitchen.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Tiny little, like. Yeah. Thai cafe, essentially. And then it was like. I think it was like the infatuations. Like, number one restaurant in London.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

People went mental for it. It was impossible to get in.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Unless you knew someone. And it was like, it is such good food, huge menu. So they're basically working these shifts of just, like, bashing these dishes out and they're shattered at the end of the night. So I'm glad that.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

They've now got a bigger space.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Hopefully they can hire more people.

[Will Sharp]

They've gone mainstream.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Anyway, I guess I just wanted to shout them out, but. But without. But also, don't go there.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Leave them to it.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

They shut down.

[Ed Gamble]

Sorry. Did you have a dish that you wanted to.

[Will Sharp]

They had, like. They were famous for their razor clams, but they also had something called moo crob, which was almost like. Not pork scratchings exactly, but that kind of like really crunchy, porky.

[Ed Gamble]

I loved it.

[Will Sharp]

Things which was good.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Those were the things I picked out. But I'd say just go, club sandwich.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Club sandwich from the Tokyo American Club.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

In the 90s.

[Ed Gamble]

And we're talking classic club sandwich.

[James Acaster]

Right.

[Ed Gamble]

Chicken and bacon and decent waka mayo.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah. I don't. I don't really like cheese or. I don't really eat that much cheese. So I go non cheese normally.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. I wouldn't put cheese in a club cheese club anyway.

[Will Sharp]

Really? Yeah, yeah. Lettuce, tomato, chicken, bacon, mayonnaise.

[James Acaster]

Cutting the triangles with the chips in the middle.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, yeah. And a little, like, toothpicky flag.

[James Acaster]

You like the toothpicky flag?

[Will Sharp]

Why not?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. The toothpicks with which you don't see very often now, the little sort of tassel at the top, you know, little ridged toothpicks. Yeah. No, no, no, no. With the little fun sort of crepe paper tassel.

[Will Sharp]

The way you said that, I suddenly felt I was upset on a bench. So yeah, there's toothpicks.

[Ed Gamble]

When we're old men. Yeah, that's what's gonna happen.

[James Acaster]

Not often we get a guest laugh at either one of us, especially you. When you're not trying to make them laugh.

[Ed Gamble]

Sure.

[James Acaster]

I think I fall into it a lot by mistake. I realize what I've said is weirder than I thought it was. Yeah, yeah, but you were just being very earnest about two pixels remembering something.

[Ed Gamble]

It was very proper laughed.

[James Acaster]

It was probably like, this is the funniest thing. This guy talked to me about two pics. Like really serious.

[Ed Gamble]

This is why the sketch group couldn't carry on because everything I said I thought was funny. Nothing from this guy. Yeah, yeah, right. See you later.

[Will Sharp]

He's like.

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[Will Sharp]

Yep.

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[Will Sharp]

Your dream drink will maybe CC Lemon, which is a Japanese lemonade in a can. And I have a very specific memory of getting that from a vending machine after playing like the summers are really humid. Playing football in like a park with my brother and then just being like drenched in sweat. And they have really loud cicadas in the summer so that noise is going on and just havoc like you're, you're exhausted and you're so thirsty and it doesn't quench your thirst in any way. I've tried it as an adult, it's so sugary. But I just remember that hit Being kind of amazing. Well, I guess the grown up equivalent would be like a glass of beer in the summer.

[Ed Gamble]

Is C.C. lemon. One of the drinks in Japan that has vitamins where they're like, it's got vitamins in it.

[James Acaster]

Just googling it often getting added to emails.

[Will Sharp]

That's good.

[Ed Gamble]

Good luck finding a BCC lemon.

[Will Sharp]

I don't think so. They're probably. I mean these days there probably is no. It's called CC Lemon because of vitamin.

[Ed Gamble]

C. There you go.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Because I got sort of last time I was in Japan sort of obsessed with the like vitamin shots and these like little vitamin jelly drinks.

[Will Sharp]

Okay. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Just because you feel like you're doing something good for yourself. Even though in the back in the bag from the 711 every night was like just piles of squid and cheese. Yes, right.

[Will Sharp]

Squid, cheese and gels. Wow. The adverts for those vitamin drinks are often quite funny. Just like guys really shouting to show how much energy they have. They drink it and then they're just like going mental. They're like climbing a cliff or something.

[Ed Gamble]

Like, now I'm ready, what'd you go? I want to be like that guy.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah. Or they hit like they've got a baseball bat and they hit the can really far. But. Well, maybe we could make a shandy out of those two things. Like a Japanese beer on a hot day and a bit of CC Lemon.

[Ed Gamble]

That's really nice. What's the beer? What beer do you want?

[Will Sharp]

I don't like any Japanese like Kirin or. It apparently is different in Japan compared to what is imported over here.

[Ed Gamble]

Right.

[Will Sharp]

But I, I saw this. This. I remember having a. When Tom Kingsley and I made a short film in Japan and like shot in my actual grandma's house, my actual grandma was in it and dressed up as a cockroach for us. I remember Men in Black, like, you know, hiking with like. It's just him and me basically with all the gear and stuff and finding this like little bar and having like a really cold beer and a hot day. That, that kind of lager.

[Ed Gamble]

A lot of this meal you want to be tired for.

[Will Sharp]

Tired and hungry. But I think that's because like it.

[Ed Gamble]

Right?

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

And I want to know more about.

[James Acaster]

This film, this short film.

[Will Sharp]

I mean it's on YouTube somewhere. It was, it was. We just. Yeah, we went to Japan. It was when I was in casualty and Tom worked for a company called Blink and he borrowed like a pro sumo camera from the company, went to my grandma's house in Japan to Try to make a short film, basically. And often I'd be like holding my own reflector out of shot. It was just very, very lo fi and lots of driving around and getting trains and stuff. I haven't watched it for a while. Hopefully it holds up.

[James Acaster]

Don't know what's the plot?

[Will Sharp]

The plot was. What was it? It's that my. My late grandfather has left me a suit. I'm like a pest control guy.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Will Sharp]

And I'm working on a particular house that has a cockroach problem. But the owners of the house are never there. And I start receiving these weird notes. And I think my granddad, meanwhile, has left me a suit. And inside the suit pocket is like a note that says something like, by the way, you're the Messiah. And it drives him crazy. Cause he's trying to figure, is it for me? What does it mean? And all the while he's trying to rid this house of. Of its infestation of pests. I can't really remember how it finishes, but essentially he's just sort. It spins him out. Spins him out. And it's in Japan.

[James Acaster]

I love it. That sounds bonkers.

[Will Sharp]

It was quite bonkers.

[James Acaster]

I'd watch that, sure.

[Will Sharp]

But be my guest.

[Ed Gamble]

Say it's on YouTube, man.

[James Acaster]

I watch it on YouTube. Be good. It'd be good to change the algorithm a little bit, actually.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Films. The other day I went down this wormhole of watching this guy, atheist guy who's debating Christians. And I've really enjoyed the first one and seeing him just handle the Christians their ass.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And then the more that it went on, the more videos I was watching, the more I was like, actually, this guy's quite unlikable.

[Will Sharp]

Is that Christopher Hitchens?

[James Acaster]

No, not Hitchens. He talks to Hitchens at one point. In another one, is this younger guy okay? And I thought, you know, in the first video I was like, it's good because he's like. Like he's not. He's not taking like pleasure in defeating them. He's just trying to have a respectful discussion. But he is. He is defeated them.

[Will Sharp]

Right.

[James Acaster]

And this is. This is like, this is nice. This seems like a respectful discussion where he. He's a bit more. Cares about people. But then the more videos I watch, the more like, this guy's high in his own supply. He absolutely loves himself. He may as well. He might as well be the one on his side tugging himself.

[Ed Gamble]

Is that like late 90s brand of atheism where the whole thing was someone going, well, how can that be? God doesn't even exist. And then they dropped the microphone and.

[Will Sharp]

It was like, yeah, show me the proof.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. I had an imaginary friend blow my mind. Yeah, it was like that. Yeah. But so that's what my algorithm is now. Oh, that and actually the bit of my algorithm that I like is just loads of skate. Skateboarders. I'm just watching those escape boards. No, but I, I love, I love watching it. Yeah, I love like watching. I'm watching Andy Anderson and Ben Cadell.

[Will Sharp]

People would.

[James Acaster]

No way. When I was five, I got put on a skateboard and push us to some stinging nails.

[Will Sharp]

Oh, don't want that again.

[James Acaster]

Absolutely no way I'm doing that again.

[Will Sharp]

So with your like religious, did you have like a specific kind of turning point where you realized how you feel about all that stuff?

[James Acaster]

No, it's just gradual. Just gradual as I was growing up, especially like through being a stand up and whatever.

[Will Sharp]

Right. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Where it's very uncool to be religious. This.

[Will Sharp]

It's an angle.

[James Acaster]

Pathetic.

[Will Sharp]

It's an angle. But.

[James Acaster]

But yeah, no, I kind of just like steadily moved away from it.

[Will Sharp]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

And had a gig the other day where like a whole group of Christians came to see me. Whole church group. And I ended up talking to them for most of the show because one of them was secretly recording the show.

[Will Sharp]

And I caught them just in case.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, it was a Christian recording. Me, I was like, that's not very Christian. Being all sneaky.

[Will Sharp]

Did you call them?

[Ed Gamble]

I don't think it's the most anti Christian thing I could think of.

[James Acaster]

Huh.

[Ed Gamble]

I wouldn't go. That's not very Christian recording. Recording a show secretly.

[James Acaster]

It's one of the ten Commandments. You should know it.

[Will Sharp]

Don't record.

[James Acaster]

Don't record. Yeah, yeah. Respect them. Yeah. A very big conversation with them. One of them kept telling me that Jesus loves me during the show.

[Will Sharp]

Well, that's quite a hard hackle to handle.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. I was just like, well, with all due respect, I wasn't sure. Yeah, not sure that's true. And then someone at the back started shouting out that they love Satan. Oh, yeah, yeah, obviously. So that, that kicked off as Ed.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah. I go to every one of his shows.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah. He's sending someone to every venue.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm dressed as a count from Sesame street in the back.

[James Acaster]

Your dream dessert will again.

[Will Sharp]

I could probably choose one, but I've got like three. Trio. Trio.

[Ed Gamble]

Trio, maybe.

[James Acaster]

Do you remember that chocolate bar?

[Will Sharp]

I know I don't. Trio.

[Ed Gamble]

Trio.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Don't remember it.

[Ed Gamble]

I want a trio. And I want one now.

[Will Sharp]

Don't remember it.

[James Acaster]

It was good, really thick chocolate.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Thick old chalky.

[James Acaster]

But, you know, it was up against a lot of competition. There was clubs and all sorts.

[Will Sharp]

Clubs, I remember.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Clubs like post Post football or a penguin.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you want to sing the song?

[Will Sharp]

No.

[James Acaster]

Okay, sing it.

[Ed Gamble]

We've just done trio. I think someone else needs to take up the mantle for club.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, you're the one who sings the songs.

[Ed Gamble]

If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit, join a club. Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

It's got a new. Got a new jingle.

[Ed Gamble]

Pick up a penguin.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah. We had. We had a really fun joke outside.

[Ed Gamble]

Of the Royal Family.

[James Acaster]

Now, remember that really funny joke over text that I did about penguin?

[Ed Gamble]

No.

[James Acaster]

And Nish was coming back from Australia.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And he texted us saying he'd watched the full series of the Penguin.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And I said, in Australia it's called the Tim Tam.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, that's a good joke.

[Will Sharp]

Save space.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I even said. I think I even said it's a great joke. And it's clean.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Very tidy.

[Ed Gamble]

Anyone can enjoy that if they have a knowledge of Australian and English biscuits.

[Will Sharp]

I feel like even if you don't know you, you still would get it. That's how good a joke.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd be like, well, that must be an Australian version of the Penguin.

[Will Sharp]

Sounds like a brand.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. What's your trio?

[Will Sharp]

Oh, sorry. Yeah, so one of them tried to invent something, but it's sort of. I'm sure it exists.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

It's like some kind of chocolate. I don't think it's a cake. I think it's like a tort. So I don't. I don't really like the spongy. Guys find that a bit boring. I like it to be really dense. So I think it's flowerless.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Will's reading this out verbatim, by the way. This is all written down.

[James Acaster]

That's got to be sad for you if something's flowerless.

[Will Sharp]

It's like a word search, basically.

[Ed Gamble]

How am I gonna.

[James Acaster]

For the rejection there? Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

No, I liked it.

[James Acaster]

No, but I mean, it must be very rejected. You must feel rejected when someone says they want something flowerless.

[Will Sharp]

Flawless. No, I prefer it. I prefer it because it's. I like it to be dense, so that, like, so dense. I basically like to feel like I'm being punched in the face by the chocolate. Slam the tort on the table and it would keep its shape.

[James Acaster]

Jesus Christ.

[Will Sharp]

So that kind of thing Sorry.

[James Acaster]

Well, I just knocked over my empty cup of coffee, but I forgot it was empty, so I thought I'd just.

[Will Sharp]

You're panicking.

[James Acaster]

And then you realized I said Jesus Christ over the top of you talking. But yeah, that wasn't because of you.

[Ed Gamble]

It's amazing how quickly they go back to religion, isn't it? First time they knock over a coffee cup, suddenly Jesus is back in his life.

[Will Sharp]

Please forgive me.

[Ed Gamble]

I know what you mean about flowerless truck. You just want that intelligence. That's what I prefer.

[Will Sharp]

Some people don't like that and they find it a bit like. Like it's too much hard work, but that's what I prefer.

[Ed Gamble]

I hate a gat where you see like a gateau and it looks beautiful and then they put the knife into it and almost goes, I'm not into.

[Will Sharp]

If it's too fluffy.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

I don't know, it's like a bit fillery. Do you know, I just want to get straight to the point.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Of the chocolate cake.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

So one of those with maybe some like matcha ice cream and some berries or something like that. Something like that.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

That sounds great.

[Will Sharp]

Which is fine. That could be. That could be it on its own.

[Ed Gamble]

That's lovely.

[Will Sharp]

But then I had two sort of nostalgia ones which you can discount. Or they can be like. And they can be like, we talked about it, but they're not real.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

So one of them is my late British grandma. One of my earliest memories is when we lived in Japan, coming to England and learning how to make a lemon tart with her. And so that lemon tart with just like shop bought vanilla ice cream and that squeezy chocolate sauce. That went hard.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Did you ever have that?

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah. What was it? What's it called?

[James Acaster]

I mean, I don't know if it's literally just magic.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, Magic name had some kind of.

[Ed Gamble]

Magic magic sauce or something.

[Will Sharp]

But you pour it on and then the cold makes it go hard.

[James Acaster]

Great.

[Ed Gamble]

That's exciting, isn't it?

[Will Sharp]

That's a goodie. And then the third one is. So it's kind of like ice magic. Ice magic? Is that what it's called?

[James Acaster]

Because Ben doesn't want to be heard on the podcast. Sometimes he has to whisper stuff. So he just looked at Ed and went ice magic. Which is absolutely great.

[Ed Gamble]

Andy used to be a magician, so that might have been something he did back in the day.

[Will Sharp]

I spent magic.

[Ed Gamble]

He'd be at a party and someone would be drinking their. Drinking their glass of drink at a party and then they looked down and the ice had gone. And he'd go, ice magic.

[James Acaster]

He's holding the ice in his hand.

[Will Sharp]

He'S crunching it in his mouth.

[James Acaster]

They can see his gob on the side of the glass.

[Will Sharp]

But that was very helpful, thank you. So it was called ice magic. Well, I didn't say ice magic. I said I think I had magic in it. Oh yeah. So carrying on from that kaiseki tray often, like. And also at my grandma's house, like, the pudding would just be basically like a really good piece of fruit, like melon or like a strawberry that's like really big. Yeah, something like that.

[Ed Gamble]

Like Japanese fruit where it's like you go into a food hall and it's like 800 quid for a.

[Will Sharp]

Well, I don't know, about 800. Well, okay, why not? If you're paying 800 quid, sure.

[James Acaster]

For a strawberry, it's on me. Yeah, 800 quid.

[Will Sharp]

Genie's paying then go for it.

[James Acaster]

You got it.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't think I've ever done that in Japan and gone and bought like the really expensive fruit in like, like one of the malls or whatever. But I've been to look at them.

[Will Sharp]

But even if it's not that, even if it's not the kind of stunt fruit, it's still you can get like a kind of reasonably priced but like really good, tasty kind of. Oh. I've suddenly realized that all the other versions of melon that I had, it was just sort of like a. Almost like a memory of eating a melon. This is a melon, you know, this is an empirical melon.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

So that, something like that. That would be. If I'm carrying on the theme of having too many things, that would be the three things.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah. But I could just choose the chocolate.

[James Acaster]

There's plenty of dessert hacks you can do. Oh yeah, you need pre dessert trolley, dessert petty four. That sounds like a petty four.

[Will Sharp]

What are they called? Stack.

[James Acaster]

A little stack.

[Will Sharp]

What is it? You know what I mean?

[James Acaster]

Little tower.

[Ed Gamble]

Like a tower?

[Will Sharp]

Yeah. Like a thingy.

[Ed Gamble]

No, not tea tray.

[James Acaster]

That you'd get a high tea.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Car park of food.

[Ed Gamble]

Car park of food.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a car park of food. That's what they say when you go for afternoons here in a car park.

[Will Sharp]

Please.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Here is your car park.

[Will Sharp]

And I had a shout out to once we tried to make a banana misu. Made me really ill. You can guess what that is. It's tiramisu. Banana in it made us really Sick.

[James Acaster]

I thought you were mispronouncing miso.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, no, banana miso.

[Ed Gamble]

Banana misu. Was that something you'd read about? Was there a recipe or did you invent the banana massu?

[Will Sharp]

No. So my. My rep as somebody who prepares food is that I'll be doing really well. Really bad at following recipes. Be doing really well. Just kind of busking my way through it. I'm quite good at making something out of nothing. So if it's like, we've got nothing in the house, actually, I can find a meal out of whatever's there.

[Ed Gamble]

We tried to make a chicken stock once.

[Will Sharp]

Did we?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Didn't go well.

[Will Sharp]

I did in that. We'll come back to that. But one for a bit. Tried to make a chicken stock or a sketch. This is the sketch. Making chicken stock. No other jokes, but I'm quite like, my rep is I'll fuck it up at the last minute.

[James Acaster]

Right.

[Will Sharp]

So be going really well. And it's like, looking good. And then I'll just sort of be like, maybe I'll do this. And then it will sort of be like, well, you've ruined it now.

[James Acaster]

That was the banana mistake.

[Will Sharp]

That was the banana. I was like, I'm gonna try and make it. I'm gonna put bananas in it. Why not? It's like, why did you do that? But the reason why I made us ill was not that. It was something else involved. Maybe the eggs. I don't know.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Or the cream, the cheese.

[James Acaster]

And it tasted bad or good.

[Will Sharp]

It tasted all right. I would say sort of banoffee. I can't remember. I can't remember.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, it is banoffee. But on this occasion, it's banana and coffee.

[Will Sharp]

Right. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a new banoffee.

[Will Sharp]

What made a sale was I put poison in it.

[Ed Gamble]

Right at the end.

[James Acaster]

He puts poison every time.

[Will Sharp]

And there was a. There was one Christmas where I tried to make improvised pudding that went really wrong. Where I thought of you because you're famous for your sweet tooth.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Will Sharp]

And it was basically like, as you're kind of heading out of the Christmas season, you sometimes have, like, boxes of biscuits and chocolates and just leftover stuff that you're like, what am I gonna do this? So I was like, I'll just make, like, a fridge cake out of all of these things.

[James Acaster]

Brilliant.

[Will Sharp]

And had no system or any sort of scientific knowledge about how to do it. So essentially was just melting down snacks and then put it in the freezer. And it was really bad.

[James Acaster]

Oh, yeah.

[Will Sharp]

It looked terrible. And it Was so sweet that it felt like you. It. You would faint for meeting it. And for some reason in my mind, I must have been listening to podcasts around. I was like, maybe James Acaster would manage this.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, I think my dad definitely would.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

I could. I mean, and even if I couldn't, I think the big guy, he'd be able to swing at it.

[Ed Gamble]

The big dog could do it.

[James Acaster]

The big dog, we'd nudge it his way and even if he didn't like it, he would eat all of it. Same with his mouth full. This is very too sweet, Will, right? It's not very good. Yeah. Even for me. Even for me, this is too sweet.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

But while just still putting it back and not even having to swap, like, not even having to chew it, just like. Yeah, straight down. Yeah, he would. He would have helped you out.

[Will Sharp]

Can I have a digestive with it?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Will Sharp]

You know, like one of those bitter Amaro e Branca furniture.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

That kind of thing. I don't mind that kind of like slightly Petrolyte afterthought.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

It is genuinely good for digestion as well, I find. Yeah. If you're really full and you have like a fern at Brown, which I would say probably. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Oh, absolutely.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. You're gonna be full, mate. You've had a club sandwich on top of everything.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Yeah. I think when your side dishes a club sandwich, you know that you're gonna be full.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I read your menu back to you now. See how you feel about it.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

You want tap water from the mountain.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

The wall of the restaurant. Focaccia from Olympia Provisions. Portland.

[Ed Gamble]

Olympia. Is that what you googled? It's Olympia Provisions.

[Will Sharp]

Sorry, thanks.

[James Acaster]

Who knows how they.

[Ed Gamble]

That's a mountain make that bread. Is it?

[Will Sharp]

Olympia.

[James Acaster]

Oh, yeah. You love mountains.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Obsessed. Obsessed.

[James Acaster]

The deep fried small fish with lemon. You never got to the bottom of what fish it was. Main course. You got a tofu situation. Gamai flakes. Is it flakes? Kell's combos. Pickled daikon, whitefish, Cold soba.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Which I didn't know is pronounced like that until you said it. I've been saying sober.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah. It's like saying Paris. You wouldn't say Paris.

[James Acaster]

I might start saying poo.

[Ed Gamble]

I say Paris. I always say, do you? Yeah, I go gay Paris. Like that. It's funny.

[James Acaster]

Nori tempura. Natto.

[Will Sharp]

Natto. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Green. I don't know what it is. Yeah, that's what it says here. Beef, small economy hacky and koala biscuits.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Side dish. Club sandwich.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Drink.

[Ed Gamble]

They're pandas.

[Will Sharp]

Oh, yeah. Hello.

[Ed Gamble]

Hello, Panda.

[James Acaster]

Hello, panda.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, you'd recognize them, the pink. I don't like the pink ones. I like the normal ones.

[Will Sharp]

Okay. Thanks.

[James Acaster]

Drink. CC Lemon shandy with Japanese lager. Dessert, Flourless chocolate torte with matcha ice cream and berries and Grandma's lemon tart and big fruit tortilla.

[Will Sharp]

Big, big fruit.

[James Acaster]

And a big fruit.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And you would also like a digestive at the end.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah. Needs an edit, doesn't it? It's a bit, but you just got.

[Ed Gamble]

To get it on the page. Right.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah. It's like. That's like.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

If we'd walk through it and sort of pick some things out. Yeah, that would make sense.

[Ed Gamble]

But I'd love that meal, though.

[Will Sharp]

I think it'd be nice. And the main meal is kind of like. Also, you can. You can decide afterwards what. What it involves.

[James Acaster]

I haven't asked Will about eating on camera. I like.

[Ed Gamble]

I like you normally on camera.

[James Acaster]

You wait on camera.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

In. I think you. You eat on camera. And White Lotus and in real pain. What was the best food?

[Will Sharp]

Food in a real pain was quite good. In the White Lotus. I remember there was like a breakfast scene where they were like, what, you have breakfast? I was like, I don't know, like scrum eggs on toast or something. And everyone else had fruit. And I was like, well, if we're supposed to have fruit, then I'll have fruit. Suddenly felt weird. But in the Lena Dudham show that's coming up, I remember making a choice because of that thing where once you tune into watching actors eat, you sort of can be quite distracted. I was like, I'm just going to eat as much as I can in every scene and make it. And also because he's like, quite socially uncomfortable. So I felt like I. A bit like that anyway in my life because it's like just a way of having something to do. So in that show, I made that choice to eat as much as I can see. If you notice.

[James Acaster]

I'm always watching how much they're eating. Yeah. In those kind of scenes. And I don't like it when they just push it around the plate.

[Ed Gamble]

This Lena Dunham show.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Quick heads up.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

How are you doing? Any tugging in it?

[Will Sharp]

Am I tugging off? I don't think so, but there's.

[Ed Gamble]

I do not remember how much on camera tugging. Are you doing that?

[Will Sharp]

You can't. I don't think so. But there is a. There's like some. Yeah, there's some like intimacy scenes in inverted commas. But I don't. I don't.

[Ed Gamble]

I almost don't. I. I don't mind that as much as the tugging.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah, I'm not lying on my side tugging off you.

[James Acaster]

Promise?

[Will Sharp]

Promise? Yeah. Promise.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Yeah. I think we had a show and we roasted a chicken and then just put all the bones in the pot and we. I think all I remember is really laughing that we had a show that night. We didn't know what we were going to do. We were making a chicken steak.

[Will Sharp]

My favorite memory of what we did in that sketch group was we want split an hour with a different group. And one of the guys had gone viral for a sketch that they'd done online and it was really blown up. And we split this hour with them and we were like, hey, maybe just to mix it up, like, because maybe we could, like, you could do one sketch in our half hour. We'll do one sketch in your half hour. It might be funny even. So they did the viral sketch in the middle of our. Of our half hour. Absolutely. Killed everybody. Just all their friends as well. Yeah. The sketch we chose to do in the middle of their set was called Bow. What it involved was Ed's lost it. What it involved is we would come on and bow as if it was the end of the show, even though it wasn't. And then we'd go off again.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

Nobody knew what was going on. No laughter. I think some people thought it was the end of the show.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Will Sharp]

No material involved. We should do battle of their set, guys.

[Ed Gamble]

We should do that.

[Will Sharp]

My favorite like thing that happened in that group. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Hell, that's funny.

[James Acaster]

Did you do Bow in your own show? You did?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

So there would be a sketch where you just come out and bow the.

[Ed Gamble]

Head, but we'd have the. We also had the order of sketches hung up so the audience could see them, right?

[Will Sharp]

Yeah. So they'd see that there was a sketch coming up called Bow and they'd be like, I wonder what that's gonna be. It's just a bow. That was a joke. And there was another one called Pizza Express where we would just act as if we were in Pizza Express and we just order a meal. There was no jokes. And Al Roberts would always. He would always put in a gag and we're like, that's not the rule. You gotta order strictly from the menu. That they actually had guys.

[James Acaster]

I don't know.

[Will Sharp]

And then he would panic and he would throw in like a funny made up pizza or Something. And then me and Ed and Tom would be kind of like, can't do that, mate.

[James Acaster]

Bothered him afterwards. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Because it would always get a massive.

[Will Sharp]

Laugh as well, because finally some comedy.

[James Acaster]

But it's a more confusing sketch. So they come away going, what was that sketch? Cause it was just all normal. There was one funny line, but the whole thing was just like. There were Pizza express, so it must have failed. Whereas if the whole thing is just normal. Yeah, you saw that must be the joke.

[Ed Gamble]

We did one where we all did stand up at the same time as well.

[James Acaster]

The worst sketch group I've ever heard.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Thanks so much for coming to the Dream restaurant, Will.

[James Acaster]

Thank you.

[Will Sharp]

Thanks for having me.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, there we are, James. A lovely chat, a lovely catch up. Quite a lot of nostalgia for me.

[James Acaster]

I like seeing you take a trip down memory lane with Will.

[Ed Gamble]

And we've been messaging each other since we finished recording, reminding each other of more than four Horseman sketches.

[James Acaster]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, how nice.

[Ed Gamble]

Tom Williams with a stylophone.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Just making faces and then playing the note. And at one point he did that, but I think it was called MC Stylophone.

[Will Sharp]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Sort of like had a rapper outfit on with the stylophones at the back of the stage. Doing a collab with Old Man.

[James Acaster]

I love Old Man.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I actually really like. Old Man's really funny, especially he loves rock and roll. Old man rocker. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, that's funny.

[James Acaster]

I think that would stand the test of time. Still. I'd still be funny if you bought it back. I thank you. Well, for not saying Lotus Biscuits either meant we didn't have to kick you out.

[Ed Gamble]

He was worried we'd pick sushi as a secret ingredient for a laugh. For a laugh, yeah. Because we thought he might pick sushi.

[James Acaster]

Why would we think that?

[Ed Gamble]

Well, because he likes Japanese food.

[James Acaster]

I had a lot of stuff in Japan. Oh, yeah, we could have.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Imagine if we'd done.

[Ed Gamble]

It's half Japanese, for God's sake.

[James Acaster]

I. I don't think it would have reflected well on us if we had done that to trap him. No, but maybe so. Just bear that in mind for another guest.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, Trap him.

[James Acaster]

Anyone that we know likes Japanese food. We'll get them with that. And we'll say that's the Will Sharp Special.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

He told us to get you.

[Ed Gamble]

Look out for Will in Too Much, the new Lena Dunham series, which is available on Netflix now and off menu. Friends in there in that cast.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Richard E Grant. Of course.

[James Acaster]

Richard. Hey, buddy, how you doing?

[Ed Gamble]

Leo Reich. Who we've not had on the podcast before. But it's a fantastic.

[James Acaster]

How have we not had Leo Reich on the podcast?

[Will Sharp]

What's our problem?

[Ed Gamble]

The guy's too busy. He's in Lena Dunham's new series. He's had an Adrian special.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, I think we have tried to be fair. Yeah. Well, Leo, if you're listening, please pick up the phone.

[Ed Gamble]

Please. Desperate, huh? That's desperate.

[James Acaster]

Oh, sorry.

[Ed Gamble]

I am touring Europe in November.

[Will Sharp]

Ooh.

[Ed Gamble]

And I'm touring America in 2026. February 2026. So get onto edgamble.co.uk for tickets. If you are someone who lives near some of the places that I'm going that will be available to see on my website.

[James Acaster]

Or if you want to travel there.

[Ed Gamble]

Or if you want to travel there. I wouldn't travel there. That's a lot of pressure on me.

[James Acaster]

Maybe they just like the travel. They like the trip.

[Ed Gamble]

Here's the deal. You travel if it's over land. If you're crossing a sea, I'd rather you didn't because that's quite a lot of pressure.

[James Acaster]

Well, you'd be surprised. Some people will cross seafare and they'll be the rudest audience members you have on the tour.

[Ed Gamble]

Thanks, James. As ever, you're invigorating my love for.

[James Acaster]

Stand up anytime, Ed.

[Ed Gamble]

Thank you, James. And thank you, Will. Bye.

[Will Sharp]

Bye.

[James Acaster]

Thank you, Will. Bye.

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[Will Sharp]

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[James Acaster]

Wait, that's the actual fire alarm. We need to go visit your nearest Boost Mobile store for full offer details.

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[James Acaster]

Restrictions apply.

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[Ed Gamble]

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[Will Sharp]

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