Podcast Summary

Podcast: Office Hours with Arthur Brooks
Episode: 3 Ways to Set Smarter New Year’s Resolutions
Date: December 29, 2025
Host: Arthur Brooks

Episode Overview

In this special New Year’s episode, Arthur Brooks explores the science behind why most New Year’s resolutions fail and provides data-backed strategies for creating smarter, more successful goals. Drawing from psychology research, personal anecdotes, and practical advice, Brooks aims to help listeners build habits that lead to lasting happiness and self-improvement in the upcoming year.

Key Discussion Points

The Tradition and Trouble with New Year’s Resolutions

• Historical background:
  Resolutions are an ancient tradition, dating back to the Romans who marked the New Year with promises to Janus, the two-faced god of beginnings ([03:45]).
• Embedded optimism:
  Meaningful moments and fresh starts (like birthdays or anniversaries) psychologically boost our motivation—this timing is not arbitrary and can aid goal-setting ([04:55]).
• Resolution failure statistics:
  • 22% fail within the first week
  • 50% fail by three months
  • 81% have failed after two years ([00:15]; repeated at [07:08])
• Why do most fail?
  The majority focus on stopping “bad” behaviors (negative/avoidance goals) rather than building positive habits (approach goals).

“For most people, the big overwhelming majority, the habits they're trying to create are not permanent. Or the habits they're trying to break—the breaking of the habit is not permanent, which is sort of grim.”
—Arthur Brooks [07:30]

Why Negative (Avoidance) Goals Don’t Work

• Two types of goals:
  • Approach: Moving toward something positive
  • Avoidance: Trying to stop, reduce, or avoid something negative ([05:45])
• Problems with avoidance goals:

  1. Negative motivation is unsustainable:
     Focusing on what you dislike or want to avoid is draining and demotivating over time ([08:28]).

     “You don’t stay motivated by negative stuff... Over the long run, it doesn’t work at all. The same thing is true for you, because you're the most important manager of yourself.”
     —Arthur Brooks [08:44]

  2. Immediate gratification outlasts willpower:
     The bad habits often involve something enjoyable in the short term. Willpower wears out quickly; forming real habits is essential ([09:39]).

     “You can stay away from your immediate gratification through willpower for a while, but you usually can't rely on your willpower for very long.”
     —Arthur Brooks [10:14]

• External and social sabotage:

  • Beyond personal struggles, outside forces can derail your goals:

    • Tobacco industry ramping up ads in January/February to counter quitting efforts ([12:43])
    • Friends, family, or spouses may (unconsciously) sabotage your progress because your self-improvement can make them uncomfortable ([13:28])

    “Your self improvement efforts make other people feel lous[y] about themselves actually. So one little moral side: When you're trying to do something, don't morally lord it over other people.”
    —Arthur Brooks [14:30]

The Three Protocols for Smarter Resolutions

1. Make Your Goals Positive ([15:11])

• Shift from “avoidance” to “approach” goals:
  Instead of “eat less junk”—focus on “eat better” by finding meals you enjoy that are healthy, like learning nutritious cooking.
• Positive focus examples:
  • Exercise to feel good, not just to punish yourself or out of self-loathing.
  • Make work goals about starting positive habits (“begin work at 9 AM with a creative task”) versus stopping procrastination.
  • Saving money is more powerful when you frame it as “putting money in my account” rather than “not overspending.”

“Almost everything that you do can be given that kind of twist upside down...turn negative into positive.”
—Arthur Brooks [18:42]

2. Set Tiny, Incremental Goals ([20:04])

• Break big ambitions into micro-habits:
  Influenced by BJ Fogg’s book “Tiny Habits,” Brooks encourages breaking resolutions down to daily/weekly bite-sized actions (e.g., five push-ups a day, walking 10 minutes).
• Why it works:
  Micro-goals are more neurologically sound and build sustainable habits via repeated, achievable successes.

“Micro habits are the best way to turn into these real goals...the neurocognitively much sounder approach to actually changing the patterns that you're building up in the nucleus accumbens of your brain.”
—Arthur Brooks [21:29]

• Actionable micro-goal ideas:
  • Start with a healthy breakfast; e.g., Greek yogurt with whey protein, berries, walnuts.
  • Save just $10 a week, then incrementally build on it.

3. Have the Right Kind of Negative Goals ([23:52])

• Only “stop” habits that you truly dislike but do out of inertia:
  Many people continue activities they hate out of habit or social pressure—eliminating these can boost happiness.
• Three examples of “things to stop”:
  1. Mirror-checking in the morning:
     Avoid looking at yourself first thing (or checking social media notifications, a metaphorical mirror). This reduces self-criticism and anxiety. Try skipping it for a week ([26:00]).
  2. Reading politics early in the day:
     Pew data: 65% of Americans are “always or often” exhausted by politics, only 4% are excited. Avoiding it at the start of the day can significantly improve your mood ([28:00]).
  3. Device-free mornings:
     Don’t check your device for the first hour—this helps uncouple you from dopamine-driven reactivity ([29:32]).

“[Your phone] can be more of a leash than a source of freedom...If you take that first hour and break that first habit that you don't even like.”
—Arthur Brooks [30:09]

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• The power of letting go and forgiveness:
  Brooks closes with a suggested protocol: “Forgive somebody this year.” Holding on to resentment is a negative habit—let it go for your own happiness ([32:45]).

  “To refuse to forgive is like hugging garbage...Are you hugging a bag of garbage right now? You don't have to actually.”
  —Esther (Arthur’s spouse), via Arthur Brooks [33:45]

Audience Q&A Highlights

• Q: How do you keep personal peace without appearing uncaring?

  “The way to keep personal peace without actually ignoring other people around you is to have a practice of Transcendence...You need to get a break from you more, such that you can dig in more with others.”
  —Arthur Brooks [36:17]

• Q: How to let go of resentment in relationships?
  Brooks advises:

  • Visualize “setting down” resentment (don’t forget, just stop carrying it).
  • Take the first step by not letting an offense define you ([38:07]).

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment / Theme | |------------|---------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00–03:00| Failure statistics for resolutions, overview | | 03:00–04:55| The tradition and meaning of resolutions | | 05:45–11:43| Why negative goals (avoidance) are less successful | | 12:13–14:42| Social sabotage and external factors | | 15:11–18:42| Protocol 1: Make Positive Goals | | 20:04–22:40| Protocol 2: Tiny, Micro Habits | | 23:52–32:45| Protocol 3: Right Negative Goals (and practical examples) | | 32:45–35:11| Forgiveness as a key resolution | | 36:17–39:07| Q&A on peace, transcendence, forgiveness |

Summary for Listeners Who Haven’t Tuned In

Arthur Brooks’ New Year’s episode blends research and real-world insight to dismantle myths about willpower and traditional resolutions. The major takeaway: Traditional resolutions fail mostly because they’re focused on stopping things we “shouldn’t” do, not on building things we truly desire. By making goals positive, breaking them into tiny steps, and deliberately choosing to “stop” only the negative habits that truly lower your happiness, 2026 can be a year of genuine, lasting change.

Final advice from Arthur:
Use this protocol yourself, share it with those around you, and become a teacher of happiness and love. Forgive, let go, and start each year and each day with small, positive steps.