Podcast Summary: "Four Practical Ways to Live Like a Stoic"

Podcast: Office Hours with Arthur Brooks
Host: Arthur Brooks
Guest: Ryan Holiday
Date: November 3, 2025

Overview

This episode explores the core tenets and modern-day applications of Stoic philosophy with bestselling author Ryan Holiday. The conversation focuses on practical steps to cultivate self-governance, manage emotions, create meaning from suffering, and live a life rooted in virtue. Arthur and Ryan mix ancient wisdom with contemporary behavioral science, offering listeners accessible tools to become "more Stoic"—and thus happier and more fulfilled—in daily life.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

What Is Stoicism? (00:11–13:51)

• Modern Stoicism Defined (00:14):

  • Ryan clarifies: "You don't control the world around you, but you control how you respond to it...Stoicism is not necessarily sleeping on the floor. It is living within or beneath one's means." (B: 00:11)
  • Stoicism is focused on self-governance: the ability to choose your response in any circumstance.
  • Built around the four cardinal virtues: Courage, Self-Discipline, Justice, Wisdom.

• Pain and Suffering (12:31):

  • "Pain is not evidence that something's wrong. Pain is evidence that you're alive. And it's not to be eliminated, but to be understood and as an incitement to growth." (A: 12:25)

• Philosophy as Practice (10:14, 13:51):

  • Stoicism is not emotional suppression but embracing challenging moments as opportunities for virtue.

The Three Principles of Stoicism (22:15–25:32)

Arthur summarizes Ryan's Stoic framework for everyday life:

1. Manage Yourself, Not the Outside World (22:59):
   • "The greatest empire…the head of me, you know, who's actually in charge here?" (B: 23:01)
2. Everything Is an Opportunity, Including Suffering (23:41):
   • "That's the obstacle, is the way…it's calling from you something…that you wouldn't be able to bring out of yourself." (B: 23:41)
3. Choose Virtue Over Comfort (24:32):
   • "You control the choice that you make. You don't necessarily control whether it's going to be well received...You could be a good person. And it might not work out for you in one sense, but in the other sense, it was the only way to be." (B: 24:32)

Ancient Stoics and Modern Parallels (25:32–31:05)

• Stoicism Isn’t Perfection: Even historical figures (Seneca, Cicero, Marcus Aurelius) fell short in real life.
• Modern Example—Abraham Lincoln (28:17):
  • "Lincoln is about as close as you can get as an embodiment of all of them [virtues]." (B: 28:17)
  • Lincoln’s life showed moral center, self-governance, learning from adversity, and wisdom.

The Path, Not the State: Stoicism Is a Journey (31:05–34:38)

• Moments Make a Stoic: Even great Stoics failed; the aim is continuous practice, not perfection.
• Adversity Shapes Virtue: Lincoln and Marcus Aurelius are exemplary for finding greatness through struggle.

Happiness and Stoicism—Behavioral Science Perspective (35:30–39:39)

• Happiness is a Practice (38:29):
  • "The real work of stoic philosophy is finding a way to feel happy and grateful and content and peaceful in a world that's very much not necessarily conducive to those things." (B: 38:29)
  • True happiness is about enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning—attainable even amid hardships if interpreted rightly.

Four Practical Ways to Live Like a Stoic (43:38–65:25)

1. Manage Emotions (Journaling)

   • "Stoicism is inseparable as a practice from journaling." (B: 43:38)
   • Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations and Seneca’s “evening review” are cited as personal tools for reflection and emotional control.

2. Discipline the Will (Rising Early)

   • "Marcus really is just talking about waking up early...starting the day off in charge, doing something that you don't want to do." (B: 43:42)
   • "Good way to do that is by winning the day by getting up before dawn." (A: 65:03)

3. Lower Self-Focus (Serving Others)

   • "What is your contribution to society?...What are you doing that is contributing to this world that you might reasonably see as dark and dysfunctional? What are you doing to make it not that way?" (B: 45:49)
   • “It's the we, not the me.” (B: 65:15)

4. Extinguish Addictions (Especially Device Use)

   • "Anything that you have that has power over you is something the Stoics would look at suspiciously." (B: 49:16)
   • "The Stoics would ask, you know, hey, do I Have the phone, or does the phone have me?... that's the test." (B: 49:55)
   • The goal isn't abstinence but temperance and control.

Stoic Exercise: Self-Examination of "Idols" (57:49–64:24)

• Arthur introduces Aquinas’s "four idols"—Money, Power, Pleasure, Honor—as pitfalls.
• Ryan candidly explores his own, ultimately zeroing in on "honor":
  • "That's the one that's most likely to govern you in your weak moments. That's the whole point." (A: 62:46)
• Advice: Recognize your idol to resist its sway and live with greater self-governance.

Where the Stoics Fell Short (52:11–55:54)

• Historical Blind Spots:
  • "They get all the things wrong that the ancients got wrong...equal rights...slavery and violence." (B: 52:15)
  • Sometimes too "predeterministic" and conservative—did not always push for societal change.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Stoicism’s Essence:
  • "You don't control the world around you, but you control how you respond to it." (B: 00:11)
• On Suffering:
  • "You don't choose a situation, but you choose the story you tell yourself about it." (B: 12:31)
• On Modern Life:
  • "Anything that you have that has power over you is something the Stoics would look at suspiciously." (B: 49:16)
• On Happiness:
  • "...If happiness is only the result of all of your conditions and preferences being met, it was going to be a particularly fragile thing." (B: 37:09)
• On Serving Others:
  • "What is your contribution to society?... What are you doing to make it [the world] not that way?" (B: 45:49)
• On Managing Feelings:
  • "Stoicism is having the emotion and then not being ruled by it." (B: 40:26)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Defining Modern Stoicism: 00:11–13:51
• Three Principles of Stoicism: 22:15–25:32
• Abraham Lincoln as Modern Stoic: 28:17–31:05
• Four Practical Applications of Stoicism: 43:38–65:25
• Self-Examination and Aquinas’ Four Idols: 57:49–64:24
• Stoicism’s Shortcomings: 52:11–55:54

Takeaways for Listeners

Four Practical Steps to Be More Stoic (64:56–65:25)

1. Manage your emotions – through journaling and self-reflection.
2. Discipline your will – start your day intentionally, do hard things.
3. Lower your self-focus – serve others, be involved in your community.
4. Extinguish your addictions – especially with modern devices.

"You'll never be a Stoic. You'll just be closer to the Stoic ideal. And I think that's an important way to live our lives because life is a journey. And that journey should be an incredible adventure in making improvements in our own lives, lifting other people up and bringing them together, and in so doing, finding the best person that we can possibly be." (A: 65:57)

Ryan’s new book, Wisdom Takes Work, focuses not on "being wise" but becoming wiser—echoing the Stoic journey as a lifelong path rather than a static achievement.

The episode leaves listeners with hands-on methods and a hopeful call:

Embrace Stoic principles as daily practices. The power to live a meaningful, resilient, and happy life lies—always—in your own choices.