Boom! Roasted!

Summary

Office Ladies Podcast Summary

Episode: “Boom! Roasted!”

Original Air Date: July 22, 2026

Hosts: Jenna Fischer & Angela Kinsey

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Episode Overview

This episode is a deep dive into one of The Office’s most famous (and brutal) comedic moments: Michael Scott’s roast in “Stress Relief, Part 2.” Jenna and Angela revisit the roast, focusing particularly on rare “candy bag alts”—alternate jokes and talking heads written for the episode but never aired. In classic Office Ladies fashion, the hosts share behind-the-scenes stories, personal anecdotes, and plenty of playful banter, making this episode a goldmine for The Office superfans.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Chitchat & Personal Updates (02:24–05:17)

• Jenna and Angela catch up about late nights at their kids’ school parties and reflect on who "parties hardest" (hint: sixth-grade moms).
• Both hosts joke about their texting habits and need for sleep, setting a playful, relaxed tone for the episode.

Notable Quote:

"You get a pass for being tired, and I just walk in every day a hot mess. How dare you." — Angela (06:55)

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Chitchat Question: Sleep Preferences (07:52–14:28)

• Listener Lily D. asks: Do you sleep in silence or with noise?
• Angela prefers silence; Jenna needs “all the things” (white noise, blackout curtains, eye mask, earplugs, a fan).
• Sam introduces the team to “green noise,” which prompts an amusing discussion about sleep quirks.

Memorable Moments:

• Angela recounts obsessively covering blinking lights in guest rooms.
• Jenna admits to hiding her parents’ ticking clock under the bed and forgetting to put it back (10:52).

"My answer is that I need a lot of things to sleep. I need white noise. I need blackout curtains. ... And a fan. I have to have a fan blowing on me for my hot flashes." — Jenna (12:57)

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Main Theme: Deep Dive Into Michael’s Roast & "Candy Bag Alts"

Setting the Stage: Michael’s Expectations (16:52–19:06)

• Jenna highlights Michael’s elaborate and self-centered expectations for his roast in a superfan-exclusive scene with Daryl.
• Michael wants a "throne," spit-takes, rimshots, and a backdrop featuring his own photo—acting out all the classic roast clichés.

"I want to do ba Dump bumps." — Michael Scott (Steve Carell) [18:33]

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Unearthing the Candy Bag Alts: Behind-the-Scenes Gold (19:09–41:57)

• Jenna and Angela reveal the eye-popping numbers behind the roast script:
  • 320 pages of "stress relief" alternate jokes
  • 207 pages for the roast scenes alone
  • 40 pages just of alternate roast jokes
• They share the best (and wildest) unused talking heads and jokes for each character.

Angela Martin (19:45)

• Angela’s roast, written in the style of Jeff Foxworthy, gently pokes fun at Michael’s idiocy and lack of self-awareness.
  • Alts Include:
    • “If you ever put sunblock on a window, you might be Michael Scott.”
    • “If you think the military draft and the football draft are the same thing, you might be Michael Scott.” (22:31–23:46)

Andy Bernard (20:12)

• Andy references brutal Bernard family Thanksgiving roasts.
  • Notable Alt:
    • “For the Bernards, that’s traditionally been on Thanksgiving, so this will be a nice test run.”

Kevin & Oscar (20:19–20:50)

• Kevin: Michael’s enabling of their venting is “probably the coolest thing he’s ever done.”
• Oscar’s talking head: “As an accountant, it’s my duty to measure the value of roasting Michael against the potential of getting fired. But as a man, I have no choice but to destroy him.”

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The Roasts: What Aired, What Didn’t

Kelly Kapoor (23:53–25:34)

• Kelly’s aired roast: A list of increasingly absurd things she’d rather make out with than Michael.
• Alts include biting jabs at Pam:
  • “The truth is, if I wanted Jim, I could have had him. So get over it.”

Meredith Palmer (25:45–26:46)

• Her aired roast accuses Michael of making her life miserable.
• In the alts, she says:
  • “You are the reason I capture small rodents and torture them.” (26:41)
  • She roasts Jim and Pam: “Pam and Jim think they are so cute. Guess what? You didn’t invent humping.”

Oscar Martinez (27:24–29:15)

• Oscar’s extended roast includes laundry-list failures:
  • “Michael is smart.”
  • “I’d say Michael was as dumb as a rock, but rocks are able to go a whole day without telling a dumb joke.”
  • Roasts for other coworkers: “Angela has hosed all of them.” (29:15)

Toby Flenderson (29:25–30:54)

• Toby never gets to roast but the writers didn’t resist:
  • “Also endangered—all of us from radon poisoning, because Michael doesn’t believe it’s a serious threat.”
  • “He used to be an incompetent sales[person].”

Jim Halpert (31:15–32:43)

• Jim’s “injury diagram” roast is much longer in the superfan cut, detailing Michael’s “injuries” and mangled phrases (e.g., “spider face”).

Pam Beesly (33:36–39:20)

• Pam’s aired jokes: Michael’s an internet scam victim and “his thing is so small, if it was an iPod, it would be a Shuffle.”
• Best Alts:
  • “Michael is so dumb that Kevin thinks he’s dumb.”
  • “Michael doesn’t wash his hands after he pees...Michael is a piss eater, everyone.”
  • Roasting Andy: "If Cornell is so frickin’ good, what the hell are you doing in Dunder Mifflin?"

Daryl Philbin (39:20–40:52)

• Daryl tests Michael’s knowledge of warehouse workers; Michael fails to recognize someone named after himself.
• Alts:
  • "Here's a list of all the song parodies Michael has asked me to work on with him: 'Pour Some Sugar On Meat Barn,' 'My Fart Will Go On,' 'Boner of a Lonely Fart'..."
  • "Michael’s the only person on MySpace that Tom won’t be friends with."

Jan Levinson (41:00+)

• Jan lambastes Michael via speakerphone (some aired, some not):
  • "Michael stole my soul and used it as toilet paper."
  • "If mankind was truly created in God's image, Michael is proof that our creator had genital wart."

Andy (42:10–43:36)

• Andy’s musical roast, ending with a signature "he de be dee be dee."
• Alts:
  • Top-10 Michael nicknames, e.g.: “Boss Lady,” “$10 Suit,” “Toilet Monster,” “Childless Failure.”

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Michael’s Turn: The Boom, Roasted! (44:31–46:47)

• Michael returns to the office, delivers his own scorched-earth roast of his coworkers. "Boom. Roasted" after every insult.
• Some extra alts for Creed:
  • “Creed, you’re so old, you send money to PBS. Boom. Roasted.”
• Michael’s favorite Toby roast:
  • “Toby, you. BOOM. Roasted.”
  • (All in caps. Jenna and Angela crack up.)

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The Episode’s Heart: Sweet Reflection (47:11–48:13)

• An unaired, touching Michael talking head about “heart laughter.”

“Stanley’s heart might have stopped working, but it kept on laughing. And I would rather laugh than work.” — (47:55)

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Around the Town & Listener Questions (52:29+)

Highlights:

• A listener describes the Revere Beach Sand Sculpting Festival (53:28)
• Challenge to climb “Mount Trashmore” in Iowa (54:18)
• New Albany, Indiana: Jenna’s “Hoosier” status clarified (57:03)
• Office trivia: Who designed the Dunder Mifflin logo? (58:54)
  • Greg Daniels believes it was likely Henry Sain, the pilot’s graphic designer.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Angela: “Excuse me. Excuse me. You get a pass for being tired, and I just walk in every day a hot mess.” (06:55)
• Jenna: “Michael is a piss eater, everyone.” (37:34)
• Angela: “Stanley tried to die just to get away…” (42:25)
• Oscar (Alt): “As a man, I have no choice but to destroy him.” (20:50)
• Michael’s alt roast for Toby: “Toby, you. BOOM. Roasted.” (46:42)
• Michael (talking head): “Stanley’s heart might have stopped working, but it kept on laughing.” (47:55)

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Important Timestamps

• 06:28 - Jim’s “fish in a barbell” talking head sets the tone
• 16:52 - Michael’s expanded roast plans with Darryl
• 19:45 - Angela’s Jeff Foxworthy-style roast alts
• 23:53 - Kelly’s wild Pam-bashing roast alts
• 27:24 - Oscar’s superfan roast
• 33:36 - Pam’s roast (“internet scam,” iPod Shuffle)
• 44:31 - Michael’s infamous “Boom. Roasted” roast
• 47:11 - Michael’s (unaired) “heart laughter” talking head
• 52:29 - “Around the Town” segment

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Episode Tone & Style

• Light-hearted, affectionate, full of laughter and inside jokes—the hosts’ chemistry and genuine friendship is as much a draw as the Office trivia.
• Generously peppered with classic Office humor (“That’s what she said,” etc.) and irreverent, sweet reflections on fandom and friendship.

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For Office Superfans

This episode is a rare window into the creative process of the show’s writers and performers, with tons of never-before-heard jokes mining every strain of The Office’s signature awkward, savage, and absurdist humor. The “candy bag alts” reveal what could have been, while the hosts’ own stories ground the episode in warmth and camaraderie.

Boom. Roasted.

Transcript

[Jenna Fischer]

The Office Super Fan extended episodes are now available on digital and Blu Ray.

[Angela Kinsey]

Office fans, you do not want to miss out on these. Jenna and I have been rewatching these Superfan episodes. They are fantastic.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes, There are over 25 hours of unaired footage that was not shown in the initial TV broadcast. All of the episodes of the Office have been re edited and extended.

[Angela Kinsey]

They are bigger, they are longer. That's what she said. And you can watch them ad free with no subscription revenue required. Let me tell you guys, this collection was worth the wait.

[Jenna Fischer]

This collection will leave you satisfied now.

[Angela Kinsey]

That's what she said.

[Jenna Fischer]

Get all 194 episodes of the Office Super Fan extended episodes digitally on Amazon, Apple Fandango at home or your favorite

[Angela Kinsey]

digital retailer and own the entire collection forever on Blu Ray. Available on Amazon, Walmart or wherever you buy your movies and TV shows.

[Jenna Fischer]

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[Angela Kinsey]

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[Jenna Fischer]

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[Angela Kinsey]

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[Jenna Fischer]

That's www.p r I m a l l y p u r e dot com and use code OfficeLadies at checkout for 15% off your order. I'm Jenna Fisher.

[Angela Kinsey]

And I'm Angela Kinsey.

[Jenna Fischer]

We were on the Office together and we're best friends. And now we're doing the ultimate office lovers podcast just for you.

[Angela Kinsey]

Each week we will dive deeper into the world of the Office with exclusive interviews, behind the scenes details, and lots of BFF stories.

[Jenna Fischer]

We're the Office Lady 6.0.

[Sam Kiefer]

Hello.

[Angela Kinsey]

I just want to tell you something. I'm not sure if you realize this. It looks like you still have an imprint of maybe your pillowcase. Did you sleep really hard last night?

[Jenna Fischer]

I guess I did.

[Angela Kinsey]

I mean, I know you were tired because you were texting me at like almost 11 o', clock, which is so late for you.

[Jenna Fischer]

So late for me.

[Angela Kinsey]

I was in bed, lights off. I'm like, what's happening? What's Jenna?

[Jenna Fischer]

That's a role reversal.

[Angela Kinsey]

I know, right?

[Jenna Fischer]

That never happens. You're the late night texter. Well, you know everybody, you're gonna be listening to this in July.

[Angela Kinsey]

Hi, July.

[Jenna Fischer]

Hi, July. But we're recording this back in June

[Angela Kinsey]

and it's the last week of school for our kids.

[Jenna Fischer]

Exactly.

[Angela Kinsey]

You know how that is.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah. And last night was the sixth grade graduation party at my kids school. They do a sixth grade graduation and a 12th grade graduation. So elementary school is K through sixth.

[Angela Kinsey]

Same, same.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

Eighth grade gets nothing.

[Jenna Fischer]

That's right.

[Angela Kinsey]

Sorry, eighth grade.

[Jenna Fischer]

You know, my sister's kids, they go K through 8th, so they have a big 8th grade.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

Right, right.

[Angela Kinsey]

We have 6th grade and 12th grade.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah. And let me tell you who parties hard. It is sixth grade moms who made it through elementary school.

[Angela Kinsey]

God bless you, sixth grade moms.

[Jenna Fischer]

This one mom. Oh my gosh, we're so grateful to her. She opened up her house, her backyard. She had all the families there. So it was like. I mean, I don't even know how many people that was.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, I always worry about the bathrooms. That's a lot of people using your bathroom. Yeah, I didn't mean to get off on that. Continue.

[Jenna Fischer]

But they put out a dance floor on the lawn and there was a DJ and there were a set of songs that were clearly for the moms. Like the kids collared off the floor. Wait, wait, I'm talking Run dmc. I was gonna say, you know, it was like a good time.

[Angela Kinsey]

Can I tell you, at ours, the one that all the moms showed up for was Come on, Eileen. It was such a moment in time.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes, yes. But there was this one part where the DJs like, All right, get down low, get down low. And I got down low.

[Angela Kinsey]

But did you get back up?

[Jenna Fischer]

I did not plan ahead. I did get up. I did. But it was real.

[Angela Kinsey]

Like crack crack.

[Jenna Fischer]

Creaky and slow. But all of that is to say. Yeah. I mean, I got home at 10:30, that's not even late. But I was so fired up, I couldn't fall asleep till like 1. So I'm tired today.

[Angela Kinsey]

I think getting home at 10:30 is late.

[Jenna Fischer]

I mean, I usually go to bed at 9 o'. Clock.

[Angela Kinsey]

I know, I know. Because now I don't text you after nine.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

Because I know she tai ti.

[Jenna Fischer]

I mean, I'm grouchy if you text me at 8. Cause I'm like, do not fire up my brain. I won't make it.

[Angela Kinsey]

She's not going to make it anyway. Sorry. That got me so tickled. We have such a fun episode today, guys.

[Jenna Fischer]

We do. I mean, Like, I'm, like, really excited about it.

[Angela Kinsey]

I'm really excited. And it was a absolute blast to revisit this.

[Jenna Fischer]

Today's episode was inspired by us finding our stress Relief Part 2 Candy bag alts for Michael's roast. We're calling this one Boom Roasted.

[Angela Kinsey]

Boom Roasted. You guys will not believe how much was in the candy bag alts for this episode. I just want to, like, loop you in. Are you ready for this? I'm going to throw some numbers at you.

[Jenna Fischer]

Great.

[Angela Kinsey]

The overall stress relief main candy bag document was 320 pages. The candy bags just for the scenes and talking heads for the roast is 207 pages. And the candy bags just solely for alternate roast jokes is 40 pages.

[Jenna Fischer]

I mean, that is so nuts.

[Angela Kinsey]

It is nuts.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, we thought it would be fun to dig into those. And we also watched the Superfan episode of stress relief part two, and I found this Jim talking head that was added back to the episode. And in this talking head, Jim is kind of summing up how he thinks their roast is gonna go. And I think it's also going to apply to our podcast. Let's hear it.

[Sam Kiefer]

To quote Michael, this'll be like shooting fish in a barbell.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

Fish in a barbell.

[Jenna Fischer]

Fish in a barbell.

[Angela Kinsey]

That's one of Michael's Mangolds.

[Jenna Fischer]

Exactly. Exactly. This episode, I feel like, is gonna be like shooting fish in a barrel. Cause we have read these candy bag alts, and they are so great. But also, there is a good chance we're gonna mangle something, because I am very tired, and you are you. And so it might be like shooting fishing.

[Angela Kinsey]

Excuse me. Excuse me. You get a pass for being tired, and I just walk in every day a hot mess. How dare you.

[Sam Kiefer]

I know exactly what you meant by that, too.

[Jenna Fischer]

Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so tired.

[Angela Kinsey]

You just are tired. Oh, I'm sorry. So when Jenna's tired, you get the truth serum.

[Jenna Fischer]

I have no edit button today. I'm too tired. Okay, but don't you think.

[Angela Kinsey]

No, I'm not gonna label myself an everyday hot mess.

[Jenna Fischer]

No, not a hot mess, but a mangled worder.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, yes, yes. Okay. Yes, yes. A mangled worder. Yes, that's right.

[Jenna Fischer]

I might mangle some words today because I'm really tired. And you might mangle some words today because you are you.

[Angela Kinsey]

Right. That's just the Angela Kinsey.

[Jenna Fischer]

It's an Angela special.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay, fine. Okay, fine. Now I see where you were going.

[Jenna Fischer]

I saw where I was going.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay, all right.

[Jenna Fischer]

But first. Oh, speaking of sleeping. Our chitchat suggestion. It's coming in from Lily D. In Mobile, Alabama. Let's hear it. Hi, office ladies. My name is Lily. I'm from Mobile, Alabama. And my question for you today is, do you sleep in silence, or do you sleep with white noise? I'm a youth minister, and recently I had an overnight event with my students, and they made so much fun of me for listening to white noise. And so I'm curious if you sleep in silence or with white noise. Thank you guys so much for taking the time to answer my question. And I just want to say I've been a listener from the very beginning, and I just love you guys so much. Thank you, Lily.

[Angela Kinsey]

Thank you so much. We love you right back.

[Jenna Fischer]

Lily, did you get any sleep that night when you did that sleepover?

[Angela Kinsey]

I mean, I've done a youth retreat. I mean, when I was younger. It can be a little bit of mayhem.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, I always wonder, how are the adults sleeping, like, on these field trips and on these, like, sleepover events.

[Angela Kinsey]

I know. Especially if you're in a room with, like, a bunch of bunks and a bunch of kids all, like, hopped up.

[Jenna Fischer]

Exactly.

[Angela Kinsey]

And just excitement because they're away. Yeah. I mean, I know my answer to this, guys, right away.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, yeah, I know mine too.

[Angela Kinsey]

I need silence.

[Jenna Fischer]

Silence.

[Angela Kinsey]

Silence, silence. I one time was like, no white noise. No white noise. And it's a little tricky. Cause Josh needs green noise.

[Jenna Fischer]

What's green noise? I don't know.

[Angela Kinsey]

It's an app he has. It's like, green noise.

[Jenna Fischer]

And so green noise. I've never heard of green noise.

[Angela Kinsey]

Modding.

[Jenna Fischer]

What is green noise?

[Sam Kiefer]

Green noise. Okay, I believe. Cause I listen to 432Hz, which is the delta brainwaves. It's the hertz that your brainwaves function on for eight hours on YouTube. That's what I sleep to. I think green noise is similar to that.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay, well, I hadn't heard of it, but he read up on. Cause he went through a phase where he just was having some insomnia. So this green noise, he plays it, and I can't really hear it. It's fine. I don't even know what the sound is, but it doesn't really bother me. But I kind of need to go to sleep before he turns it on. Does that make sense? And then it's playing, and I'm fine otherwise. I like silence. And if I go to your house, if you're so nice and say, hey, Ang, you're visiting, here's my guest room. I'm going to have to walk through that guest room and I'm going to have to look for any lights. If you have like an outlet that has a little green flashy light, I'm going to be covering it with something. And then if you have like a cute little alarm clock that has a little.

[Jenna Fischer]

My parents have that in both of their guest rooms.

[Angela Kinsey]

I have to unplug it or take the batteries out.

[Jenna Fischer]

Same. I feel bad cause the last time I was at my parents house, I went into the guest bedroom to like lay down and take a nap. And I hid the clock, the ticking clock, like under the bed and I forgot to put it back. They're probably like, where's my bedside clock?

[Angela Kinsey]

I've done that. I've like rolled it up in like a sheet and put it in a drawer.

[Jenna Fischer]

Exactly.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay. So yeah, I need silence. I do like to sleep with the window open though. So whatever's going on outside just kind of becomes like my white noise, I think. Like whatever, you know. Birds chirping.

[Jenna Fischer]

Sam, can you play some of this green noise for us?

[Sam Kiefer]

I absolutely can.

[Jenna Fischer]

Okay. Oh, my God. My body is having a response to this sound.

[Sam Kiefer]

In a good way.

[Jenna Fischer]

In a good way. Like I.

[Sam Kiefer]

So it's supposed. This is 250Hz, which is supposed to be calming and relieving.

[Jenna Fischer]

Am I in a womb? Am I on a plane? Where am I?

[Angela Kinsey]

To me, it's like I either am hearing the ocean or I'm on a plane.

[Sam Kiefer]

That's interesting. You say the womb. That's what it's supposed to. The sound of blood around you and being inside the womb.

[Angela Kinsey]

We're in a womb. Cozy.

[Sam Kiefer]

That's where we're recording from today.

[Jenna Fischer]

Oh, wow. Okay. Interesting. Maybe I'll try it.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, my answer is that I need a lot of things to sleep. I need white noise.

[Angela Kinsey]

This is not surprising. The lady loves a list.

[Jenna Fischer]

I need white noise. I need blackout curtains. This was my favorite thing about Japan was that the curtains in all the hotel rooms overlapped. They didn't just slip when they got to the middle. And then you had to pile pillows up so that you didn't have something seeping through.

[Angela Kinsey]

You would really like Iceland because they get so much daylight at different times of the year that they do not mess around with their curtains.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, yeah. So I need blackout curtains. I don't understand people who like, just have like sort of sheer curtains on their windows. I don't understand it. It's confusing to me.

[Angela Kinsey]

In a bedroom. Fine, you want to have them in Like a living. So you get some light.

[Sam Kiefer]

Can I ask what temperature you require your bedroom to be?

[Jenna Fischer]

71 degrees.

[Sam Kiefer]

Okay.

[Angela Kinsey]

I like my bedroom cold.

[Jenna Fischer]

I know.

[Sam Kiefer]

Yeah, same here.

[Jenna Fischer]

Cold.

[Sam Kiefer]

Cold with lots of blankets is the.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah, me too. Me too. Like a weighted blanket. Oh, so cozy.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah. So I definitely sleep with white noise, Lily. I also sleep with an eye mask on just in case we have any failure of said curtains. I also sleep with special earplugs that I did a bunch of research about, and they are actually phenomenal. I read them on, like, a Christmas list for things to get people who are hard to shop for. And I bought them for myself, and I love them. And a fan. I have to have a fan blowing on me for my hot flashes.

[Angela Kinsey]

We have traveled together many times now over these years, and one of my favorite things is I forget where we were, but we had a hotel room that had the little connectee door. And I was, like, fully showered, had done my hair, was doing my makeup, and you came through the connecty door with your eye mask on your forehead. I think one of your earplugs in your hand. Very discombobulated because you had overslept your alarm. And I was almost ready to walk out the door. You're like. But I would think, lady, how do you hear your alarm?

[Jenna Fischer]

I hear it.

[Angela Kinsey]

You hear it through the earplugs and the noise and all the things?

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay. Well, you didn't that morning.

[Jenna Fischer]

I guess not.

[Angela Kinsey]

Lily, I love that question. I love these little slice of life shares. I think they're so fun.

[Jenna Fischer]

I love our new format for Office ladies. I was thinking about it and just how much. I love it because of how much it involves getting to hear from people.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yes. It's sort of a callback to the very beginning of Office Ladies where people would call in and read the summary. Remember?

[Jenna Fischer]

Oh, yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

And we loved that.

[Jenna Fischer]

We did.

[Angela Kinsey]

So here we are.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, listen, we're going to take a break, and then we are going to get into. Boom, Roasted. All right, lady, we already know that we love quints, but you just bought something new, and I want you to tell me about it, all right?

[Angela Kinsey]

I wanted some little summer dresses. And what I love about quints is they're just fantastic quality and they're priced really well. One of the dresses that came up that I loved was this 100% European linen sleeveless swing dress. Jenna, you would love it because it's a light linen, so it's great for summer. It's $64 with code Office Ladies. I can't wait. You're going to get free shipping. You're going to get really easy 365 day returns. We love quints. It has everything you need for this summer.

[Jenna Fischer]

Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to quint.com officeladies for free shipping on your order. And 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C E.com officeladies for free Shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com officeladies Sometimes things just kind of

[Angela Kinsey]

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[Jenna Fischer]

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[Angela Kinsey]

using it makes you realize you're actually great with money. You just needed tools that are good to you.

[Jenna Fischer]

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[Angela Kinsey]

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[Jenna Fischer]

Well, we are back. And before we dig into all of the additional roasting from this episode, I want us to remember Michael's expectations for this roast.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

Because he has a lot of expectations for how the roast is gonna go. In rewatching this episode, I was so excited to find that there was an extended scene between Michael and Daryl. You might remember, before the roast, he goes down to the warehouse to talk to Daryl. He wants to talk about what is the stage gonna look like. What kind of chair is he gonna have. It's this amazing scene and it was all expanded for the superfan. I think we need to hear it.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

So that's the stage.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yes.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

All right. Yeah, you know, that'll work. That'll work for my roast.

[Jenna Fischer]

Supposed to be working as a warehouse.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

Well, this is all about morale, Darryl. I will need a big chair, comfy chair, like a throne for the man of honor. And I think all the other roasters should be up here on stage as well.

[Sam Kiefer]

Everyone's on the stage?

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

Like. Like a Comedy Central roast.

[Sam Kiefer]

Who's in the audience?

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

The audience will be in the audience. We'll charge $10 a head.

[Sam Kiefer]

Charge who?

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

We'll need alcohol, because that's very important for a roast. You need to get people drunk, and you need something to spit.

[Sam Kiefer]

You gonna be spitting in here?

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

Spit takes? Yes, I'll be doing some spit takes if it's funny enough. Or I will do finger guns or. Right, Sammy Davis Jr. Move. But you know that. Or I will double over, or I will do the point, like. Oh, you got me what?

[Jenna Fischer]

I got your big picture you wanted. No, no, no, no.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

I need a big picture. Something to cover the whole back of the dais.

[Angela Kinsey]

I have to go to the printer.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

Well, go, please. Oh, and get me a drum and a cymbal. I want to do ba Dump bumps.

[Sam Kiefer]

Rim shots.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

No, but technical term is rim shots.

[Jenna Fischer]

By the way, when I was watching the roast, he does all those things. He does, obviously, the badump bump, but he does finger guns.

[Angela Kinsey]

He does the ball.

[Jenna Fischer]

He does the point. It's amazing.

[Angela Kinsey]

I am really realizing, though, that badump dumps. Badump dumps is something I'd probably say it's making me think of, like when we first started rewatching the office, when I would call the shot through the blinds the peep shot.

[Jenna Fischer]

The peep shot.

[Angela Kinsey]

And you're like, you mean the spy shot?

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, it's just that we called it a spy shot.

[Angela Kinsey]

I know. It's what I think. The true term, not the peep shot. All right, you guys, now it's time to dive into the candy bag alts. Oh, it's so good. We thought we would start right before the roast begins with some talking heads. That really set the tone for how people in the office felt about the roast and how hard they were going to go at Michael. I'm going to kick us off with a candy bag alt for Angela Martin. Angela would have said, I wish I thought of writing down every problem I have with Michael for the last five years. Angela pretends to find a notebook, which she holds up. Oh, wait a minute. And she points to it. She has been keeping a journal of every time Michael has pissed her off.

[Jenna Fischer]

That's pretty amazing. Well, Andy had some real gems, too. Here is one of his talking heads. Andy was going to say, every now and then, you gotta just take the gloves off and really rip into someone. For the Bernards. That's traditionally been on Thanksgiving, so this will be a nice test run.

[Angela Kinsey]

Can you imagine Thanksgiving at Andy Bernard's parents house? I cannot how many jabs they throw at him.

[Jenna Fischer]

Oh, my gosh.

[Angela Kinsey]

All right, here's one from Kevin. Kevin would have said, michael letting us tell him how much he sucks is probably the coolest thing he's ever done. He set up a PA System and everything.

[Jenna Fischer]

And lastly, here is one from Oscar that really paints a picture. I mean, Michael has no idea what he's in for. Oscar would have said, as an accountant, it's my duty to measure the value of roasting Michael against the potential of getting fired. But as a man, I have no choice but to destroy him.

[Angela Kinsey]

Destroy him.

[Jenna Fischer]

Destroy.

[Angela Kinsey]

If you think the roasts that made it into the actual episode were rough on Michael, just wait until you hear the alts. Omg. But, guys, it's time for the roast. Michael is so excited to get it started. This is going to take a turn very quickly, but let's hear his opening speech. Just full of enthusiasm.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. You are all jerks.

[Angela Kinsey]

Just kidding.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

Not yet. Anyway, welcome to the roast of Mr. Michael Scott. If you're here for the Grabowski wedding, it is the second door on the left. So we all know how these work. Needs to get crazy. Take your best shot. I am going to sit right over a chair and. And whoever wants to come up and roast me, you may.

[Jenna Fischer]

Okay, well, Angela, you are first up.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, yeah. I charge the stage.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes. And dare I say, I think it's the best roast. No, I really do. I really, really do. And I didn't see it coming. You know, like, I think as a fan of the show, you don't necessarily think that Angela is going to be a really good roaster, but she is. She's gonna roast him like a la Jeff Foxworthy style. That's how it's described in the script. It says Angela does a very bland Jeff Foxworthy. And something I feel like we should share with people is that the superfan episode does not have a bunch of extra roast stuff in it.

[Angela Kinsey]

That's right. Even though we filmed a bunch, there's only two characters. We'll get to them where they're extended.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes. So this is Angela's roast of Michael.

[Angela Kinsey]

If you ever wondered whether you were Michael Scott, here's a quiz to help. If you ever put sunblock on a window, you might be Michael Scott. If you ever called the fire department because your head was stuck in your chair, you might be Michael Scott.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

Hey, hey.

[Jenna Fischer]

I Thought those were very good. And they were also like, they weren't too mean, but they were true.

[Angela Kinsey]

And you know, I remember some of the direction the director Jeff Blitz gave me was after the first one goes, well, the second one, he was like, why don't you just like take the mic off the stand and start strutting around, you know, like you're really. She's really feeling herself.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, well, Angela had a few more Jeff Foxworthy style jokes in the alts. Angela, will you read them? They make my day. Sure.

[Angela Kinsey]

If you've ever frozen your hand to your car because you were washing it in the winter, then you might be Michael Scott. If you've ever conned a publicly traded corporation into letting you run a branch,

[Jenna Fischer]

you might be Michael Scott.

[Angela Kinsey]

If you think the military draft and the football draft are the same thing, you might be Michael Scott.

[Jenna Fischer]

So good.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, next up is Kelly. And here's what made it into the superfan episode.

[Jenna Fischer]

I have made a list of people that I would make out with before I would make out with Michael Scott. A turtle, A fridge, anybody from the warehouse. A wood chipper, Kevin. A candle, and Lord Voldemort. Anyway, happy birthday, Michael.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

Yeah, you'd be so lucky.

[Angela Kinsey]

So are you ready for some crazy alts? Okay, first of all, in the candy bag. Not only does Kelly roast Michael, but then she turns on her co workers and singles a few people out. Let's start with the alts for her. Michael roast. Kelly would have said, they say a good boss sweats the details. Michael is just really sweaty. Seriously, you guys, it's gross. And another one. We've made a lot of fun of Michael tonight, but I'd actually like to propose a toast. And she holds up her glass. Few people in this world are as smart or as funny or as good hearted as Michael Scott thinks he is. So let's all toast this dumb, corny prick.

[Jenna Fischer]

Oh my God.

[Angela Kinsey]

But are you ready for what she said about Pam?

[Jenna Fischer]

Okay, I remember these because I think we shot some of these. They are not in the super fan episode, but I remember them because Kelly loves to take on Pam. Here we go.

[Angela Kinsey]

Kelly would have said about Pam, Pam, if it weren't for you. I definitely be the prettiest girl in this office, hands down. And I really wish I didn't always get that competitive vibe from. The truth is, if I wanted Jim, I could have had him. So get over it. And then she turns to the crowd and goes, you guys can laugh anytime you want.

[Jenna Fischer]

That's what I mean. I feel like I Remember that. Well, everyone, now get ready because it's Meredith's turn. Let's hear what made it into the episode.

[Angela Kinsey]

Michael, you ran over me with your car. You posted a picture of my bare boobs on the bulletin board with a caption that said, gross. Well, Michael, you are the reason I drink. You are the reason I live to forget. That's one of the ones where he does his.

[Jenna Fischer]

His finger guns. Yes. He also does the drum in that one. All right, well, here is Meredith's crazy alt buckle in. It gets dark, folks. Meredith says, you're the reason I live to forget. You're the reason I go to a gun range to blow off steam. You, Michael Scott, are the reason why I capture small rodents and torture them. Those poor rodents. What did they do?

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jenna Fischer]

I mean, what?

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

What?

[Angela Kinsey]

What?

[Jenna Fischer]

That's dark.

[Angela Kinsey]

It's very dark.

[Jenna Fischer]

Very, very intense. But wait, and I remember this from the day Meredith also had roasts for her other co workers, including Jim and Pam. I remember this, that there was this, like, sort of alt storyline where for whatever reason, people pile on Jim and Pam during this roast. So Meredith would have said, pam and Jim think they are so cute. Guess what? You didn't invent humping. Get over yourself.

[Angela Kinsey]

That's funny. Okay, next up is Oscar, and his roast is ext. Okay. It's one of the ones that got extra footage in the superfan version. I want you to hear it.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

The only man in the state of

[Jenna Fischer]

Pennsylvania who is less likely to get

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

legally married than me is Michael Scott.

[Jenna Fischer]

Michael is so bad with money.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

He invested in Enron last week. That was.

[Sam Kiefer]

That was privileged.

[Jenna Fischer]

He thinks balancing a checkbook is putting

[Sam Kiefer]

a checkbook on his nose and shouting, look at me.

[Jenna Fischer]

Look at me.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay, so he really goes at him. But there was so much more in the candy bag.

[Jenna Fischer]

Alts.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oscar actually might have had the most alts next to Pam. Lady, there's so many. I think we each share a few. Okay, all right, I'll go first. Oscar would have said, michael loves jokes. Here's a joke for you. Michael is smart. Oscar would have said, I'd say Michael was as dumb as a rock. But rocks are able to go a whole day without telling a dumb joke. Rocks don't make you sit through meetings about how we're having too many meetings. Rocks don't have parties to celebrate National Pharmacist Day.

[Jenna Fischer]

And here's two more. Oscar would have said, michael, what's the difference between you and a car alarm? At least a car alarm has a purpose. Oh, or remember when I briefly convinced you that math was spelled ma F. F? Worst day of my life.

[Angela Kinsey]

Is he walking around saying math?

[Jenna Fischer]

Probably.

[Angela Kinsey]

And Oscar, like Kelly and Meredith, also turns on his co workers in the room. Oscar would have said this. You hear a lot of phrases these days. Layoffs, price at the pump, sinkhole. But enough about Meredith.

[Jenna Fischer]

Mm. And then he turns on Angela. Listen to this one. He said, what do Dwight and Andy and Alon have in common? Angela has hosed all of them.

[Angela Kinsey]

What the hell, Oscar?

[Jenna Fischer]

Jeez. Well, now Toby tries to come up to roast Michael, but Michael screams at him. He says, no, friends only.

[Angela Kinsey]

Friends only.

[Jenna Fischer]

So we never get to hear what Toby might have said. But guess what? They did write some jokes in the candy bag. Alts for Toby. And the thing that is so amazing to me about that is that I know they never had any intention of letting Toby get up on stage to roast Michael. No, never. But the writers could not stop themselves from writing roasts from Toby's perspective anyway.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, yeah, they actually wrote alt roasts for every character on the show. We are actually just going by the ones that actually had moments coming up to stage. But there was so much stuff for, like, everybody.

[Jenna Fischer]

There was, like, this whole weird list of alt jokes where Phyllis gets on stage and roasts Stanley.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yes. She singles out Stanley for, like, an entire page. I know.

[Jenna Fischer]

Craziness. Okay, so here is what Toby might have said if he had had a chance to roast Michael. They say the ice caps are melting and that polar bears are endangered. Also endangered all of us from radon poisoning, because Michael doesn't believe it's a serious threat.

[Angela Kinsey]

This radon runner is one of my absolute favorite things of the entire show.

[Jenna Fischer]

Same. I love his obsession with the radon poisoning. Toby also had this alt. It's important to remember that Michael was not always the incompetent manager he is today. He used to be an incompetent sales.

[Angela Kinsey]

Now it's Jim's turn. And I want to read you how it's set up. In the shooting draft, it says Jim comes up and puts a large diagram on an easel. It shows an outline of a man's body with arrows pointing to various body parts. His roast in the Super Fan is much longer than what originally aired. I want you guys to hear it.

[Sam Kiefer]

These are actually injuries that Michael has had, starting off with repeated burnt tongue from overeager pop tart consumption, a torn ACL from trying to hurdle Angela one day. Bruce, testy. Same scenario. You burned your foot on a Foreman grill. These are just A few things that have been caught in Michael's zipper, his finger, a sandwich. Kevin's finger trying to remove that sandwich. Big question mark. That would stand for a list of contents that are in Michael's stomach that we know of. A pound of chewing gum, two peach pits, at least five keys from the Houdini magic handcuff set.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

Oh.

[Sam Kiefer]

His new favorite are these new edible M and M wrappers. But they're not edible because it was an Internet hoax. What else? Well, several times a day, Michael says words that are way beyond my vocabulary.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

I know where this is going.

[Sam Kiefer]

Do you?

[Jenna Fischer]

No.

[Sam Kiefer]

Okay. Remember spider face?

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

No.

[Sam Kiefer]

Okay. Because the quote was, cut off your nose to spider face.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

Spider.

[Jenna Fischer]

Okay.

[Sam Kiefer]

Yep.

[Angela Kinsey]

So the alts for Jim were just more and more speeches like that. Just more and more things. And it was so long. But we thought just playing the extended clip would give you an idea.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, next up, Dwight gets very upset. He goes up on stage. He's going to defend Michael.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

But Michael and him end up getting into a fight. And then Dwight inadvertently roasts him by calling him a pathetic short little man that doesn't have any friends or family or any land. And guess what? There were no alts for that.

[Angela Kinsey]

None.

[Jenna Fischer]

No. I think this was a very important plot point that you see Dwight, like, turn on Michael because it's really like now Michael is like, kind of without a defender or any friends. Like truly in this room.

[Angela Kinsey]

He's so. Yeah, he's totally alone up there. And then it's Pam's turn. Oh, my goodness. Lady Pam is gonna tie with Oscar for best snarky roast in the candy bag. Alts. First, let's hear what made it into the actual episode.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sam Kiefer]

Woo.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, I just want to take a minute to talk to you all about something very serious. Once every hour, someone is involved in an Internet scam. That man is Michael Scott. He's supporting about 20 Nigerian princesses.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

Hey, you know what? Forgive me for caring. Right.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, look, you know, Michael is a great delegator. He never does any work himself, ever. And one time I walked in on him naked and his thing is so small.

[Angela Kinsey]

How small is it?

[Jenna Fischer]

If it were an ipod, it would be a shuffle. Oh, I know.

[Angela Kinsey]

She went there.

[Jenna Fischer]

She went there.

[Angela Kinsey]

Can I say one thing?

[Jenna Fischer]

What?

[Angela Kinsey]

Since I am Michael's mangled phrases of this duo. Yes, you are Michael's Internet scam person. You have, over the course of our friendship, fallen for several Internet scams. Sam knows it as well, including our

[Jenna Fischer]

Enneagram test that I made everybody take

[Angela Kinsey]

where we paid $1.95. And then we found out that we were secretly charged.

[Jenna Fischer]

We were secretly entered into a subscription

[Angela Kinsey]

for $45 a month.

[Jenna Fischer]

I'm so sorry, everybody. It did seem too good to be true.

[Sam Kiefer]

It was truly perfect. It took a full day before it debited out of my account.

[Angela Kinsey]

Anyway.

[Jenna Fischer]

Okay, you're right.

[Angela Kinsey]

So we are the perfect duo, lady.

[Jenna Fischer]

You know what I also did? My daughter came to me. What was it? She wanted a jelly cat.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, you were so excited. I saw the whole journey. Cause first you're like, ang, these jelly cats are on sale, but only for the next hour. Well, like, I had to quickly, like, log on. And I'm so excited because we got these jelly cats.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes. And so, like, I went on, and I, like, I entered my credit card information, and then it said something, and it needed a different credit card. I'm like. So I'm like, I'm in a rush. I entered three credit cards. You guys basically got all my credit cards, and you had to cancel your credit card. Cancel all my credit cards. And the way we found out was the next morning, my daughter was like, mom, the sale is still going on.

[Angela Kinsey]

And you're like, but I thought it was only an hour.

[Jenna Fischer]

I'm like, when I went on the website, there was like a countdown clock. And I was like, wait. And I went back, and it was the same countdown clock, lady. It gets worse. You think it can't get worse. I texted that link to the mom chat. I was like, guys, jelly cancer on sale for an hour.

[Angela Kinsey]

So you got me and Sam and Matt in an Internet scam. And the mom text thread.

[Jenna Fischer]

The mom text thread. And so that morning, I was like, oh, my God, I hope no one ordered any jelly cats. Guess what? It's a scam. They're not actually selling jelly cats for $15.

[Angela Kinsey]

Fifteen credit card information.

[Jenna Fischer]

And they were like, it's okay. We didn't order any, but thanks for letting it.

[Sam Kiefer]

No.

[Jenna Fischer]

Oh, my God. Now you know why we had to dance so hard last night. We've been through a lot.

[Angela Kinsey]

You've been through a lot together. Anyway, I'm just saying we both are sides of Michael.

[Jenna Fischer]

This is true. This is very true.

[Angela Kinsey]

But back to Pam. You have to share some of Pam's roast alts for Michael.

[Jenna Fischer]

Jenna, she does have some good roast alts. Okay, here they are. Michael is so dumb that Kevin thinks he's dumb. Michael Scott is to comedy as Angela is to comedy. Hey, I know. All right, how about this one? No one in the office spends more time with Michael than I do. Anyone up for tradesies? Michael doesn't wash his hands after he pees. On many occasions, I've watched him go right from the bathroom into his office to eat a sandwich. Michael is a piss eater, Everyone.

[Angela Kinsey]

Someone else doesn't wash their hands.

[Jenna Fischer]

Hey, I don't touch my business when I pee.

[Angela Kinsey]

And then you don't eat after you pee.

[Jenna Fischer]

Thank you. And then this one. What's the difference between a hockey mom and Michael Scott? A hockey mom has children. Too mean, too far. How about this one? Scientists say that a man who stares at boobs for 10 minutes a day can add many years to his life. So by my count, Michael will live to about 307.

[Angela Kinsey]

What did he call him? Pam and her. Pam. Pam.

[Jenna Fischer]

Pam and her. Pam. Pam. So many.

[Angela Kinsey]

There's so many.

[Jenna Fischer]

So many things.

[Angela Kinsey]

All right, you guys. But then Pam is going to roast the room. And she goes scorched earth on her co workers. Listen to these alts. Pam would have said, I'm not sure any of you know this, but Andy Bernard went to Cornell where he majored in never shutting up about Cornell. If Cornell is so frickin good, what the hell are you doing in Dunder Mifflin? Most of us got here without any community college. Hey, Andy, can you sing tenor 10 or 12 miles away from here.

[Jenna Fischer]

Wow.

[Angela Kinsey]

And then she would have turned on Toby. Pam would have said, toby, Scarborough fair is depressing enough, but having to hear you hum it over and over every day is about as fun as your Costa Rica pictures.

[Jenna Fischer]

Toby would not have recovered.

[Angela Kinsey]

Nope. And then Pam just really opens up. She would have said, hey, Michael, what's with the world's best boss mug? You don't see Meredith with a mug that says Virginia. You don't see Jim with humble R. Kelly with fascinating, or Kevin with genius, or Creed with normal, or the entire office with a mug that says, this place doesn't suck.

[Jenna Fischer]

Okay, that one actually really made me laugh.

[Angela Kinsey]

I just have to point out. Does Pam actually think Jim is a little smudge?

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, I think so. All right, well, next up is Darryl, and rather than roasting Michael, he asks him if he can name one of the warehouse workers who is sitting in the back of the room and Michael cannot, even though said warehouse guy gave him a ride home the week before and they spent an hour in traffic.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah, and as it turns out, the guy's name was Michael.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes, super cringy.

[Angela Kinsey]

But Darrel did have a few roast alts. Here are two. Darrel would have said, here's a List of all the song parodies Michael has asked me to work on with him. Pour some sugar on Meat Barn in East la. I had to tell him that already existed. I want to hold your boobs. My fart will go on the fart of rock and roll. Boner of a lonely fart. Every time you go away, you take a piece of pee with pooh.

[Jenna Fischer]

Wow.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah. Michael really loves a song where he can work in the word fart.

[Jenna Fischer]

He really does.

[Angela Kinsey]

Here's another one. Darryl would have said, michael's in pretty good shape, but I guess it's easy to get to the gym when you don't have any friends, family, or people who don't want to choke your ass out. Michael's the only person on MySpace that Tom won't be friends with.

[Jenna Fischer]

Wow, a MySpace joke.

[Angela Kinsey]

I mean, people really are going at him for being like, no friend, no kids.

[Jenna Fischer]

I know. It's rough. It's really rough. Well, after Daryl Oscar comes back up onto stage, and he has Jan on speakerphone, and she just roasts the heck out of Michael. We played that clip in our original breakdown, but basically she says, you ruined my life. Everything you touch turns to crap. You have no sense of how to please any woman. I can't believe you wrote a phone message on my diploma and you used my daughter's christening gown as a bib when you ate ribs. You are just completely an ass, Michael. And then I shared one of my favorite candy bag alts for this when we first broke this down, but there were so many more. I have to read you two of Jan's alts. One, Michael stole my soul and used it as toilet paper.

[Angela Kinsey]

So dramatic.

[Jenna Fischer]

I know. This is why I like Jan the drama. Also, if mankind was truly created in God's image, Michael is proof that our creator had genital wart.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, my God.

[Jenna Fischer]

So rough.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay, well, the roast of Michael Scott ends with Andy. You know, he's gonna get up and sing a song parody.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes.

[Angela Kinsey]

Let's hear it.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

What I hate about you, you really

[Angela Kinsey]

suck as a ball. You're the losiest, jerkiest, and you're dumber than applesauce.

[Sam Kiefer]

We're stuck listening to you all day.

[Angela Kinsey]

Stanley tried to die just to get away when it's true. That's what I hate about you. That's what I hate about you. Yeah, I mean, I know we're here to talk about the roast, but every time Andy has to end a song with a he de be dee be dee. That gets me every time. Oh, okay, so the candy bag Alts were mostly more lyrics for this song. Okay. But there was one roast alt that was so on brand for Andy. I just want to share it. You know Andy's love of nicknames.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay. Andy would have said, michael, I've been trying to find a nickname for you, but there are so many good ones. I thought I'd give you the top 10. Boss lady, $10 suit, the incompinator, Hair Club for Men, Pubes, Toilet Monster, Bad Breath, Jeff. That might have been on a garbage pail. Kid, Mr. Lonely Pants, Michael Snot and drum roll, Childless Failure.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

Oh.

[Jenna Fischer]

Oh, my gosh. I feel like boss lady and $10 suit are just references to that same episode where Michael bought the lady suit.

[Angela Kinsey]

And when I first read this, I thought it was Hair Club for men Pubes.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

Like, one.

[Jenna Fischer]

One thing.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah. And then I was like, oh, there's a comma.

[Jenna Fischer]

So after the roast ends, Michael does not take things well. I mean, it was rough on him. He had planned to stand up and kind of roast everybody back, but he can't get through it. He walks off the stage. He, like, does that. Oh, that super awkward, heartbreaking moment where he runs into the drum and has to set it back up again. So he actually takes a personal day. He puts on his turtleneck, he reflects at the park. He ultimately comes back into the office and decides that he is gonna roast everyone.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

Let's hear it.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

Jim, you're six' 11 and you weigh 90 pounds. Gumby has a better body than you. Boom. Roasted. Dwight, you're a kiss ass. Boom. Roasted. Pam, you failed art school. Boom. Roasted. Meredith, you've slept with so many guys, you're starting to look like one. Boom. Roasted. Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom. Roasted. Creed, your teeth called. Your breast stinks. Boom. Roasted. Angela. Where's Angela? Well, there you are. I didn't see you behind that grain of rice. Boom. Roasted. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex, and your heart sucks. Boom. Roasted. Oscar, you are. Oscar, you're gay. Wow. Andy, Cornell call. They think you suck, and you're gayer than Oscar. Boom. Roasted. Boom. Roast. All right, everybody. You know, I kid. You know I kid. You guys are the reason that I went into the paper business. So good night. God bless. God bless America and get home safe.

[Jenna Fischer]

I love how he ends it with what he would have said the night before.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah, he just fully reads his whole roast.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes.

[Angela Kinsey]

I thought both Steve and Leslie David Baker did such a great job of building that laugh moment and that feeling of acceptance and that everything's gonna be okay.

[Jenna Fischer]

Both of them same.

[Angela Kinsey]

It's just really great.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

Same.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, there were a lot of alts for Michael's roast. Of the room, in particular for Creed. These few cracked me up. Creed, how about you trim your ear hair once in a while?

[Sam Kiefer]

Boom.

[Jenna Fischer]

Roasted. Creed, you're so old, you send money to pbs.

[Sam Kiefer]

Boom.

[Jenna Fischer]

Roasted. Creed, at your age, getting lucky is finding your reading glasses. Bam. Zoom. Roasted. Creed, you're so old, an all nighter means not having to get up to pee.

[Sam Kiefer]

Boom.

[Jenna Fischer]

Roasted.

[Angela Kinsey]

And then there were a few for Toby too. But I just am going to read my favorite.

[Jenna Fischer]

Ready? Yes.

[Angela Kinsey]

Michael would have said, toby, you.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

Boom.

[Jenna Fischer]

Frozen. It was like an all cap.

[Angela Kinsey]

It's an all cap.

[Jenna Fischer]

So Michael's roast, ultimately is a hit. He does make Stanley laugh. And the episode ends with a Michael talking head where he says, they say that laughter is the best medicine. So, Stanley, you can throw away those pills. You are cured. Actually, you should better hold onto them pills just in case.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, I thought we should end this special Boom. Roasted episode with one last candy bag altogether. It's one for Michael. It's his talking head at the end. And here's what he would have said. There's a lot of kinds of laughter. There's the little chuckle, like when someone tells you a joke and it says in parentheses, he chuckles. There's that uncontrollable giggling, like when your friends just told you an embarrassing secret. In parentheses, he giggles. There's the big belly laugh, like when you watch a Robin Williams movie. Michael does a belly laugh. And then there's the laughter that comes from the heart laughter. Stanley's heart might have stopped working, but it kept on laughing. And I would rather laugh than work. That's just me.

[Jenna Fischer]

It's kind of sweet.

[Angela Kinsey]

Heart laughter.

[Jenna Fischer]

Heart laughter. Lady, you give me heart laughter.

[Angela Kinsey]

Thank you.

[Jenna Fischer]

You make me laugh really hard.

[Angela Kinsey]

Same.

[Jenna Fischer]

And it's nice. It's good. It is.

[Angela Kinsey]

It's healthy.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes, very. And Lee makes me laugh. I feel so fortunate.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah, Josh really cracks me up. I mean, in our family, everyone thinks Josh is the funny one. Like, he's the one that gets us all. Cause you don't see it coming.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, you know, my kids voted on who was the funniest in our family. I came in fifth. Like, after the pets.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, after the pets.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, I guess the only thing I'm funnier than is the dog.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, Maggie. Maggie's not funny.

[Jenna Fischer]

I was like, it's such a funny

[Sam Kiefer]

thing to say, though.

[Jenna Fischer]

It's only how I make my Living. I know, as a comedic actress and podcaster, but what if? Not a big deal. Not funny to my family.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah, well, Josh is the funny one in my family, but I think I'm funnier than our animals. I don't know. I haven't asked. Who knows? I'll get back to you.

[Jenna Fischer]

Let me know. All right. Well, that was really fun. I really loved those candy bag alts. That was nice.

[Angela Kinsey]

I mean, I spent like a whole day reading them. I know you did too. And it was like I could hear everyone's voices, you know, and it was so fun.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, let's take a break and when we come back, it's time for around the town and our office. Question of the week.

[Angela Kinsey]

This show is sponsored by Better Help.

[Jenna Fischer]

I really love that in our day and age we talk more openly about mental health. But even though that is true, I think sometimes asking for help can feel hard. And in fact, BetterHelp's latest research confirms this. BetterHelp's 2026 State of Stigma report surveyed 2,000Americans and revealed that 85% of Americans believe getting support is wise, yet 74% say society discourages people from doing so well.

[Angela Kinsey]

You know, I think Better Help is really changing how people approach mental health. They're making it easier to find a quality therapist, and they are the world's largest online therapy platform.

[Jenna Fischer]

Don't let stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with better help. Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] OfficeLadies that's better.

[Angela Kinsey]

H E L p.com OfficeLadies before we

[Jenna Fischer]

get back to the podcast, we have a message from Ashley the Mosquito about Orkin.

[Angela Kinsey]

Hey, besties. Hope all of you are high key. So excited for summer. It's literally giving all of us mosquitoes life. So we thought we'd help everybody make the most of it before Orkin pros try to ruin our fun. Remember, if you have standing water on your lawn from the pool or the sprinkler, let it sit there. The more the merrier. And when there's standing water, there'll be plenty more mosquitoes. Next up is a bit of a hot take, but we're so hype on it. Let mosquitoes inside. What could go wrong? Just let us inside, please. Thanks. Love ya. Finally, the number one rule this summer is do not under any circumstances speak to anybody from Orkin. That's literally so cringe and will ruin the vibe of any get together we might be having. Take it from a mosquito. Orkin pros know literally everything about us, period. Don't visit oracin.com for a free estimate today. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace.

[Jenna Fischer]

You know Squarespace? We've been using Squarespace for seven years.

[Angela Kinsey]

Almost seven years. Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

To first grab our domain name. They make that very easy.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yep.

[Jenna Fischer]

And then also to design our website and now to maintain our website and build it out even more.

[Angela Kinsey]

That's right, you guys. Squarespace is that all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online.

[Jenna Fischer]

I have to say, Squarespace has really grown with us. It has, and it has helped us grow in ways that I wouldn't have imagined. We just went through and Ileana did a whole reorganizing of how to find our back catalog, and Squarespace made that really easy.

[Angela Kinsey]

Really and truly, with Squarespace, whatever you can imagine for your website, it has the tools to help you head to

[Jenna Fischer]

squarespace.com officeladies for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code officeladies to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[Angela Kinsey]

We are back. And Sam, we had a few people write in and and say they miss your around the town sting. So I thought we should make sure we play it today.

[Sam Kiefer]

Absolutely. Here we go.

[Jenna Fischer]

Around the town.

[Sam Kiefer]

So stupid.

[Jenna Fischer]

It's so perfect.

[Angela Kinsey]

I love it so much. All right, let's start with one from our snail mail. Alice B. From Massachusetts wrote in to say, ladies, I know you love a fun summer trip, so I wanted to write you about an amazing festival. My family and I went last year and had a great time. It's the Revere Beach International Sand Sculpting Festival. Professional sand sculptors from all over the world come here and what they do with sand is unbelievable. True works of art. Plus, there's great food, lots of entertainment and fireworks. And Revere beach is easy to get to from Boston. So if you love the beach and sandcastles, this is the one for you. Come visit us in Massachusetts. We love you, ladies.

[Jenna Fischer]

I mean, that sounds cool.

[Angela Kinsey]

I know.

[Jenna Fischer]

It always sounds cool. When can we do this stuff? I think it's after our kids graduate school. I mean, we just have to be here right now.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, listen, I'm firmly believing Office Ladies is going to go on forever. We have our back library that's always

[Jenna Fischer]

going to run, and maybe we can

[Angela Kinsey]

just hop on and have some travel journal chats.

[Jenna Fischer]

Oh, that's a fun idea.

[Angela Kinsey]

Like if we finally get to go to all these things.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, we'll just come in and we'll read our journals of Going to the Revere Beach International Sand Sculpting Festival. I would love to hear each of our takes on that.

[Angela Kinsey]

Me too. And like what we ate, I went to the website and this festival happens end of July. The artwork is unbelievable. Like, the sand art is unbelievable. Alice.

[Jenna Fischer]

You're right, lady. I have another place for us to go.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, okay.

[Jenna Fischer]

We got an around the town from Stephanie D. In Cedar Rapids, Iowa, who says Mount Trashmore in Cedar Rapids, Iowa is a former landfill with 6 million tons of garbage transformed into a recreation destination with walking and bicycling trails and a scenic overlook of the city. Stephanie said, I am currently working on completing the annual Mount Trashmore challenge for the second time.

[Angela Kinsey]

What is that?

[Jenna Fischer]

Okay, you can earn prizes and you get your name on the annual challenge plaque if you hit all 140 climbs of Mount Trashmore, because that is the equivalent of Mount Everest.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

Wow.

[Jenna Fischer]

Stephanie said, you podcast keeps me positive, smiling and entertained as I put in another climb toward my goal. Thank you for keeping me company along the way. I love that Trash has been turned into a community asset that provides individuals an opportunity to meet new people, get active, and celebrate one another's successes. Lady, I want to climb Mount Trashmore with you.

[Angela Kinsey]

I mean, and also, Stephanie, what a positive thing, you know? Gosh, I love that I would climb it with you. Can we climb it one time? Do we have to climb at 140?

[Jenna Fischer]

We just go one time.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay.

[Jenna Fischer]

Also, I happen to love Iowa. I have a little bit of a sweet spot for Iowa because it's right on the border of Missouri and we used to go into Ottumwa for really good, like, loose meat hamburgers when I was in college.

[Angela Kinsey]

I've never been to Iowa.

[Jenna Fischer]

Oh, it's great.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, there we go. Gosh, put it on our list.

[Jenna Fischer]

I know. That's what I'm saying.

[Angela Kinsey]

This list is getting long. Okay. That's what she said. Michelle.

[Jenna Fischer]

Did she say that?

[Angela Kinsey]

I don't know this list? No, it's not getting long.

[Jenna Fischer]

I don't think she said it.

[Angela Kinsey]

If it's getting long, it's growing, guys.

[Jenna Fischer]

You can't allow it. This thing is getting long.

[Angela Kinsey]

Sam said, I will allow.

[Jenna Fischer]

You're allowing me Go.

[Sam Kiefer]

Watch yourself, counselor.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay.

[Jenna Fischer]

Oh, boy.

[Angela Kinsey]

All Michelle E. From New Albany, Indiana, wrote in and said, hi, office ladies. First off, I wanted to say how much I love your show. Thank you, Michelle. And then Michelle said, I wanted to share something cool my daughter's school did the other day. They did a wax museum and had to do a report on famous Hoosiers. She told me that one of her best friends was doing her report on Jenna Fisher. I was quick to reply that Jenna was not a Hoosier and she grew up in St. Louis. Since I feel like I know so much about you guys, I then discovered, Jenna, you were born in Fort Wayne, which I guess makes you a Hoosier. There were several girls that did their reports on you since there was more than one class. And maybe not that many famous Hoosiers, but I still thought it was neat and wanted to share. Thank you again for all you do.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, it's true, Michelle. I was born in Fort Wayne, Indiana. My folks grew up in St. Louis, but my dad was transferred there for work. That's where I was born. I think. I lived there less than two years. We moved away when I was pretty little, and I did then grow up in St. Louis. I've never been back to Fort Wayne. I almost went to college. My second choice school when I did my college tours was Butler University in Indiana because they had a really good dance program.

[Angela Kinsey]

And your mom has shared on this show that you and Emily, your sister, were very good dancers.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah. I mean, I knew, though, like, when I went to visit, I was like, I don't have it to make this program, so. But I loved the campus. But I've never been back to Fort Wayne. I've kind of wanted to go.

[Sam Kiefer]

Do you have any memories of Fort Wayne? Were you that young?

[Jenna Fischer]

I was young enough that I don't have any memories. So from Fort Wayne, my family moved to California for about two years.

[Sam Kiefer]

Do you remember that at all?

[Jenna Fischer]

I do. I remember that we had an above ground swimming pool, and I would swim in the pool with the dog. And I remembered that we had a lemon tree, and I used to pick the lemons and eat them right off the tree.

[Sam Kiefer]

Ooh.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

Wow.

[Jenna Fischer]

So I have two very faint memories of California.

[Angela Kinsey]

Wait, you can just.

[Sam Kiefer]

I don't think you're supposed to.

[Angela Kinsey]

You can bite into a lemon. Lady, to this day. Can you just eat a lemon like an apple?

[Sam Kiefer]

No, I mean, we creed eating the onion right now.

[Jenna Fischer]

No, I mean, people do that all the time.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay, so you cut the lemon open.

[Michael Scott (Steve Carell)]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

And then you, like, lick it. You squeeze it.

[Angela Kinsey]

Can you still do that? And it doesn't give you the Weebie Jeebies?

[Jenna Fischer]

No, no, no. I could maybe do that with, like, a Meyer lemon, but I guess I just loved lemons. Oh. I also remember we had snails, and I used to take the snails and, like, put them on my arm. Those are My memories. Snails, lemons, and an above ground pool. That was my childhood.

[Angela Kinsey]

All right, I think it is time for the Office question of the week. This is from Bonnie P. In Kitchener, Ontario. Hi, Jenna and Angela. I am currently listening to the episode Dwight K. Schrute, acting manager, and I have a question about the office that I have been dying to ask. Who designed the logo for Dunder Mifflin? It bears a striking resemblance to the logo of the company that my husband works for, this company. And by the way, Bonnie, I hope I'm saying this correctly, but Bonnie said the company's name is Malal Blamey Construction, and it was founded in 1982 in Waterloo, Ontario. So it and the logo has been around for longer than the Office. Is this just a coincidence? Do a comparison and let me know what you think. Thank you. Here's the picture, Bonnie. All right, let's look at this picture.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, listen, it is blue and it's

[Angela Kinsey]

kind of got that with white. White framing, big letters.

[Sam Kiefer]

The spacing of the words is close too. Like they're physically very, very close together.

[Angela Kinsey]

I mean, I see a similarity. I'm very curious, Bonnie. We will do a side by side and put it in our stories. But I do see the similarity you're talking about.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, I see the similarity. I think it's different enough, but it is similar. I really liked this question because I realized this is something that we have never dug into. Where did this logo, this very famous logo that is all over the place now on shirts and on actual reams of paper, like, who did design this? So I reached out to Greg and Greg said the original one would have been in the pilot. Our pilot episode had a different production designer than our longtime production designer, Michael Gallenberg. This was true. Our DP on the pilot was different from our longtime dp, Randall Einhorn, who took over once the show got picked up. So, same with our production designer. The production designer on our pilot was Donald Lee Harris, and within his department, Henry Sain was credited as the graphic designer. So Greg said his guess is Henry must have designed it and he just remembers that Michael Gallenberg made variations of it for different uses. But Greg said it would be interesting to find out if you can track down either Donald Lee Harris or Henry Sain and ask, because Greg added that at one point he was told that the Dunder Mifflin fictional brand is the second most famous fictional brand after Duff Beer from the Simpsons.

[Angela Kinsey]

Wow.

[Jenna Fischer]

Mm.

[Angela Kinsey]

That's crazy.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, Jenna, this also got me curious about the logo of the BBC version of the office for their company, Wornham Hog. So I looked it up because I couldn't remember it.

[Jenna Fischer]

Me either. Now that you mention it. Does it look like the Dunder Mifflin one?

[Angela Kinsey]

Not at all. Look at it.

[Jenna Fischer]

It's totally different.

[Angela Kinsey]

I'll put it in stories.

[Jenna Fischer]

Oh, very different. It's red and black and yeah, the font's different.

[Angela Kinsey]

It's not framed in any way. It's got like a big W and then the letters come off that giant W. Yes.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, I found Henry Sane on IMDb. He directed Bounty Hunter. He has an extensive resume for graphic design. I was hoping to see if there was, like, some trivia about him. I tried to dig around, like, is there anything attributed to him for having designed this very famous logo? I couldn't find anything, but I did find some contact information for his manager, so maybe we can reach out.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

Matt is on vacation this week. He's high up on a mountain. So when he's back, maybe we can get to the bottom of it.

[Angela Kinsey]

And Henry, hey, if you're hearing this, write us.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes. Or anyone who knows Henry. Or anyone who knows who designed this logo. We want to hear from you.

[Angela Kinsey]

All right, well, this was just a ton of fun. I had such a great time. I was so excited today. Coming into work. Josh was like, what are you so chipper about? And I was like, well, I don't know. I just get to go talk with my best friend. Yeah, I don't know why I'm saying it like that.

[Jenna Fischer]

I don't either. I don't either. But I felt the same way. You know, I'm taking off for my summer vacation after we record this episode.

[Angela Kinsey]

I know you're on vacay, lady.

[Jenna Fischer]

I know. So I was sort of aware, like, oh, it's gonna be a couple weeks before I get to see you and record again. So this was a nice send off. Thanks.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, I'm doing a little vacay myself, lady.

[Jenna Fischer]

You're doing a bucket list vacay.

[Angela Kinsey]

I really am. It is something I've wanted to do. I mean, my whole life, really. I'm going to Wimbledon, you guys. I'm going to Wimbledon. I can't wait. And I'm just giddy about it. I think I've sent you, like, eight pictures of, like, what do I wear?

[Jenna Fischer]

I. I'm sorry. So, so excited for you. I think we need to do a summer travel journal episode. I will share about Lake of the Ozarks, and I think you should share about this Wimbledon trip.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay, done.

[Jenna Fischer]

All right, well, on that note, everyone, thank you so much. We hope you are also having a great summer and we will be back next week with another episode.

[Angela Kinsey]

See you then.

[Jenna Fischer]

Boom.

[Angela Kinsey]

Roasted.

[Sam Kiefer]

Boom.

[Jenna Fischer]

Roasted. Thank you for listening to Office Ladies.

[Angela Kinsey]

Office Ladies is a presentation of Odyssey and is produced by Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey.

[Jenna Fischer]

Our senior producer is Matt Beagle and our audio engineer is Sam Kiefer.

[Angela Kinsey]

Odyssey's executive producer is Leah Reese. Dennis.

[Jenna Fischer]

Office Ladies was mixed and mastered by Bill Schultz.

[Angela Kinsey]

Arthur theme song is Rubber Tree by Creed Bratton. You know what I am excited about?

[Jenna Fischer]

What?

[Angela Kinsey]

A little T.N. dickinson's lady.

[Jenna Fischer]

I love it. Let me tell you. They have their wound cleansing spray and it is amazing. Okay? So you know I already loved the witch hazel for sunburns, right? It's my like go to sunburn thing right now. But this cleansing spray, okay, we went to Disneyland and I got a blister on my toe and I put it on the blister on my toe and it was so soothing.

[Angela Kinsey]

You've just got to have this in like your home. You've gotta have it. It's there for you. You guys, we love it. You can and Dickinson's wound cleansing [e-mail] and select Target stores. It helps cleanse minor cuts and scrapes, helps kill germs, and provides maximum strength pain relief all in one easy to use spray.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes, because when life's little accidents happen, there's T.N. dickinson's for that. A burst pipe, a dead water heater,

[Angela Kinsey]

the AC calling it quits.

[Jenna Fischer]

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[Angela Kinsey]

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[Jenna Fischer]

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[Angela Kinsey]

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[Jenna Fischer]

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[Angela Kinsey]

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[Jenna Fischer]

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